God of War #3 - Delays That Infuriate The Gods

Someone at Wildstorm fucked up. Somewhere along the way, someone forgot to remind someone that there was this comic called God of War based off one of the best video game franchises of the past decade that they hadn't finished. The first issue of this comic was released back in fucking March. Five months later and they're just getting around to the third issue. If this were Sparta that kind of lag would get you killed faster than a Star Wars fan in a Jar Jar costume at a Star Trek convention. It's a shame too because all that time and it's easy to lose the coherence of the story it began, which was pretty damn awesome for anyone who enjoyed the games. Now that the third issue is out, the story can finally continue. But has the delay cost this title the awesome it established?

Even for someone who read the first two issues, it may take a moment to recall how the last issue ended. Kratos is still on a quest in both the present and the past to retrieve the Ambrosia of Asclepius. In the present he's looking to use it to solidify his place among the gods. In the past he's looking to use it to save his infant daughter. He's also leading a band of Spartans who seek the Ambrosia as well. That's the gist of it. The details may be a bit more sketchy, but you really don't need to know too much else. It also has the standard Gods fucking around with mortals plot, but that's to be expected in a Greek themed story. In the past Kratos deals with that first hand in the form of a whirlpool formed by Posieden. While the other Greeks are shitting their togas, Kratos dives right in to find your typical Greek sea monster within. Since monsters are to Kratos what KFC is to chicken, it ends in a predictably bloody and pretty damn awesome fight.

After proving that Kratos has bigger balls than the entire Greek army, he leads them into the heart of the whirlpool where they suspect the creature had a dwelling. It's a bit of a head-scratcher in terms of plot. They're in the middle of the sea and there's a cave underneath that can support a creature? I don't get it either, but it gives Kratos and his crew a way to get back onto dry land. It's definitely a bit contrived. Perhaps it would make sense in a video game where level transitions really can't be all that fluid. But in a comic book where there are all sorts of ways to change scenes, that doesn't fly nearly as well.

Fast forward to the present where Kratos is on the same journey, albeit for far less noble reasons. He's plowing ahead, leaving more bloody carnage in his wake as he's so prone to do. Blood trails are the same to Kratos as they are fresh cases of VD for wherever Courtney Love passed through. That doesn't stop Athena from warning him. She should probably know by now that he's not going to respond in a very gentleman-like way (although she would probably still fuck him), but she warns him anyways. Unlike the game, though, she offers no details on what he's facing or while he'll need to make it through. It's all very vague despite some nice imagery. It's over rather quickly, but it does make a nice scene transition back to the past where Kratos is essentially walking the same path.

In the past Kratos is eager to forge ahead, but his men don't have nearly the god-like endurance he has so like pussies they ask to rest near a well. That doesn't jive with Kratos, but since this is before Ares fucked him up beyond repair he lets it slide. However, as they are resting they are about to find out that they aren't the only ones seeking the Ambrosia of Asclepius...again.

This time a tribe of women armed with powers instilled in them by Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, are seeking a cure for an ailment any woman would find terrifying. In the town of Keros, the pregnant women keep giving birth to sick or dying babies. Even in those days when death by childbirth was akin to playing Russian Roulette with a half-loaded gun, that's pretty fucked up. Their healers (whose idea of treatment probably involved herbs, onions, and sacrificing small animals to the gods) have given up. The Ambrosia is their only hope and for whatever reason they feel they have to attack Kratos and his army in order to get it. That's right, just going around them and moving ahead of them isn't enough. They have to risk life and limb facing a bunch of badass Greeks in battle. Again, it's more contrived than it should be in a story that has such rich source material.

Even if it's damn stupid, the battle is pretty badass. These women are being aided by the gods after all so they are no pushovers. It makes for some nice spreads among many that have graced this series. The only problem is that since it happens in a fucking cave, there's a lot of darkness so you don't get a good feel for the details. Even though the art style itself is dark to begin with, the cave sure doesn't help make the case. Even so, Kratos does tango with who appears to be Artemis's top gun. She's a pretty nasty chick who you would think has no business fighting a guy like Kratos, but she holds her own. She even manages to break Kratos's sword. Since this is before he became a god, he knows he's in deep shit.

While this is going on, there are other battles unfolding that for some reason need to be squeezed in despite this battle between Kratos and the warriors of Artemis. It's not as smooth a transition as before. It talks of other champions of the gods such as Prince Alrik, who is on Team Hades, and Danaus, who is on Team Hermes. While not quite as passionate as the Twilight crowd, they do make for a bloody battle over this one healing elixir that's supposed to solve all their problems. While the battle is awesome, it seems out of place and disjointed.

When the fight between Kratos and Artemis's minion return, it seems like not much has happened since the last scene. It's not very clear where the broken sword went or why this fight wasn't ended right then and there. If this were the video game this would be where one of those button pressing prompts would pop up in preparation for a finishing blow. Instead you've got a scene where the woman is just standing in front of Kratos, trying to tempt him into surrendering. She even tries the seduction method, which to her credit does have a history of at least making men think twice before finishing the job. But this is Kratos she's trying to seduce. It doesn't matter what kind of pussy someone tries to throw at him. If given the chance between pussy and killing, he goes for killing.

In the past this frees Kratos and his men to continue moving forward. That's a so-so resolution to a protracted battle that could have been more coherent. That leads in nicely to another visit to the present where Kratos is walking the same path. It's here where Athena's warning from earlier comes into play. Not only is there a new obstacle in his way, but it potentially spoils what happened to all the men that followed Kratos on his journey in the past. All around him hoards of undead rise up from Hades and are understandably pissed at Kratos for sending them there (who can blame them?). Their solution to the problem is as basic as any zombie attack. They want him to join them in Hades where they can make him suffer forever. That's Greek justice for you. Forgiveness is for pussies. Vengeance is all that matters. Great lesson for the kids. Somewhere Bill O'Reily and Glenn Beck's heads are exploding.

The book does end on a strong note and it does offer plenty of reasons to keep reading. However, the delay from this book really hurt it because whenever there is a large gap in between issues it's easy to lose interest in the story. There's a lot of time in between for other awesome stories to come in and overshadow this one. When I reviewed God of War #1 and #2 there wasn't a lot in between to compare it with. The story flowed nicely and it made for an awesome tale. God of War #3 was a bit tricker because of the gap and it did not help that the structure of the book wasn't as refined as the other two. The transitions between scenes weren't as crisp and some of the plots felt a lot more contrived.

That doesn't take away completely from the quality of the story. Writer Marv Wolfman still shows that he has a great feel for Kratos's character and can find intriguing ways to bring in the influence of other Greek gods. However, since this book was so delayed and it seems likely the next book will be similar, then it may be a while before the story is properly resolved. By then, some readers may just not care enough to see it through. However, if the story is awesome enough then the delays won't matter. Wolfman still has a chance to make it happen with two more issues. I'm in it till the end, hoping to see Kratos get the justice he deserves.

The final score for God of War #3 is a 3 out of 5. There's room for improvement and plenty of potential to see it through.

God of War #2 Review - Brutally Awesome

I've made no secret on this blog that I love God of War. There are just too few ways to describe the kind of awesome that Kratos and the God of War story brings to the table. With the success of the video games it's only natural that the creators would want to milk this cash cow until it was a withered hide rotting in the Texas sun. As a fan I say milk away! DC Comics and their Wildstorm division put together a nice little mini-series that takes place between the events of God of War 1 and God of War 2 while also taking a trip back into Kratos's past as a Spartan warrior. Under the pen of Marv Wolfman, the story is pretty kick-ass and by God of War standards that ranks at least ten levels above traditional kick-ass.

Issue two picks up where issue one left off. Kratos is now the God of War and in search of the healing Ambrosia of Asclepius. Standing in his way is the usual army of monsters that includes a giant spider that makes the one form Lord of the Rings look like a pussy. But since Kratos no Froto and monsters have a strange tendency to die horrible deaths around Kratos, it's not too big a deal. However, this is not the meat of the story. That tale is far more engaging than the usual slaughter which in and of itself would still be pretty fucking sweet.


Since the first issue, the main story is divided between Kratos's current journey and the one he went on before he became the Ghost of Sparta. This isn't the first time he's sought out Ambrosia of Asclepius. Shortly after the birth of his daughter, Calliope, he makes a promise to save her from death by seeking the healing power of the Ambrosia. Standing in his way are some pretty nasty beasts. As usual, Kratos shows his ass-kicking aptitude in taking them down, but in doing so he reveals another side to himself that wasn't too clear in the game. He may still be a mean, ruthless, bloodthirsty warrior in battle, but he is still a dedicated father and husband at heart. His desire isn't for glory this time. He wants to save his daughter and keep his promise to his wife. For a guy that doesn't have a whole lot of redeeming qualities, this offers some much needed depth that only adds to Kratos's awesome.

The only problem with this premise is that the story about his journey as the new God of War pretty much ends here for this issue. The rest of the issue is spent in the past. That's all well and good but there isn't even a mention of the other story going on. There's no parallels or past musings. While it's nice to keep things in one time, it ignores the other half of the story. Thankfully the half it doesn't ignore is still pretty fucking sweet and could easily stand on it's own.


However, Kratos won't be making this journey alone as he so often has in the games. This time he's going to have some traveling company from his Spartan brethren. Captain Nikos and a contingent of Spartans have caught up to him and seek to accompany him on his quest. It isn't out of sheer charity either (seriously, Spartans were not famous for their charity). Nikos wants to ensure that the Ambrosia of Asclepius is used for the benefit of all Sparta and not just his daughter. It seems reasonable enough, but plenty suspicious. Kratos may be a brute, but he's no fool. Even so, he does what a good Spartan is trained to do and heeds his captain's orders.


In addition to the Spartans, there are other warriors in seek of this Ambrosia of Asclepius for their own reasons. The race to this healing elixir is like a race to keys to Scarlett Johanson's panties and it's not being led on a whim. The god so Olympus are pulling the strings like they always do and it is here where the comic takes on themes that are central to the classic mythology of old.

Just as in the epics of the Illiad and the Oddessy, these gods are not shy about manipulating humans for their own amusement. Forget the merciful and compassionate shit, the Olympians are hardcore and they want to be entertained. Hades has a warrior prince named Alrik who seeks the Ambrosia to save his dying father. Poseidon thinks his warrior, Herodius, is superior because he fights to save his entire village. It's basically a divine dick-measuring contest and since Ares is one of the biggest dicks in mythology, he's got a leg up and they all know it.


Poseidon seems especially intent on not losing to Ares. Maybe it's because Ares gets to bang Aphrodite more than any other god or maybe it's because he was able to rape more boys and woman than he could (that's not a joke by the way, that was remarkably common in Greek mythology), but he doesn't want Kratos to succeed. He's willing to send a plague to the island of Thera to play this game. It goes to show just how cruel and petty these gods were and how far they were willing to go to one-up each other. If Poseidon any of them had any idea what would happen to him in God of War III he would understand. But this is still the past and he quickly sees just how dangerous Ares's favorite champion is when Kratos bitch-slaps the Satyrs.


As a result, Poseidon gets pretty desperate and has Herodius unleash his entire army of Thera upon Kratos. Unfortunately, these are Spartans we're talking about here. In comics and in real history they are without a doubt some of the best warriors in history. They devour war the way American's devour cheeseburgers. It goes without saying that Herodius walks into a hell of a shit storm and his men pay the price.


It eventually leads to a confrontation with Kratos. Here Herodius makes the stupid mistake of trying to gain pity with this guy. He might as well try to sweet talk a hungry grizzly while kicking it in the balls. Even his laments about his people dying aren't enough to change his fate. Kratos could care less. He's out to save his daughter and nothing is going to get in his way. If Herodius's people have to die because of it, so be it.


Needless to say, Poseidon is pretty pissed and pretty emasculated as well. He basically has to endure Ares's gloating for what must be a billion lifetimes in the eyes of a god. His warrior had an entire village riding on him and he couldn't do jack shit against Kratos. In the grand scheme of things the god of the seas should have known better, but like all arrogant gods he underestimated his enemy.

Now for anyone who is familiar with mythology, it's pretty clear what happens next. A mighty god has just been humiliated by a fellow god. What's the most logical recourse? Surely beings as advanced and powerful as gods are above throwing a hissy fit like a 14-year-old girl who just realized she was twenty bucks shy of buying a new Gucci purse. Well as powerful as these beings are, logic is not one of their strong points. They overreact the same way Led Zepplin drinks. They go all out in trashing everybody and everything around them and since the Olympians are usually reluctant to flight each other, they take their rage out on humans. It's the equivilant of punching a pillow for them only doing so inflicts mass death.


The seas turn against Kratos and his men. They get thrown into a storm that makes Hurricane Katrina look like a gentle breeze on a tropical resort. Poseidon goes all out to making sure his manhood remains intact and Ares has fewer reasons to gloat. It seems kind of stupid that Kratos and his Sparten brethren would try to hold their boat, which even by Ancient Greek standards is still pretty shitty, in one piece. But they try and of course they fail. But Poseidon doesn't stop there. He has to rub even more salt in the wound because when you're dealing with the gods, if it isn't horrifically inhumane it's not worth doing. He forms a whirlpool that drags Kratos and his men into the seas. Even for a Spartan, it's not a fair fight and this is where the comic ends.

It's a nasty cliffhanger, but in a good way. The story grabs the reader by the balls (or clit if you're a woman since this is a comic full of hot, muscular Greek men) and keeps squeezing them. The excitement and action makes for a great read and the inclusion of classic Greek Mythology themes offer a real sense of legitimacy. It's not some Disney remake or a total knock-off of the original myths like in other comics. These gods share the same qualities as the ones from thousands of years ago and Kratos fits nicely into that plot. It works so well as a comic it makes you wonder if the Ancient Greeks would be fanboys today if they were still around. Except they would probably demand more comics with attractive young boys to go along with the beautiful women.

But the biggest problem with this issue is that it loses track of the story that began in the first issue. Granted, it does a nice job of fleshing out Kratos's past, but if it's not linked to the events going on in the present then what's the point? It seems like it's just telling it for the sake of telling it and not to make the connection. That's what really keeps this issue from being a strong follow-up to the first issue. That and the art was too dark. I don't mean to say that it didn't fit the theme of the book. It most certainly did. God of War is a dark story all around and the art should reflect that. However, the art here is so dark it's hard to really make out the details of what's going on at times. A little extra color would go a long way to making this comic more vibrant and graphic. A character as bad-ass as Kratos deserves nothing less.

The final tally for issue #2 is a solid 4 out of 5. The story is great and so are the themes that guide it. However, the issue was a bit too narrow with the plot. There are still four issues to go so there's plenty of time to work out the details of the other plot as well. Most God of War fans probably could care less because both stories do an awesome job of demonstrating Kratos's ass-kicking awesome. And really, that's what's most important in a God of War comic. Nuff said.

God of War 3: An Epic in Awesome

So I spent the last day or so camped out in front of my PS3 playing God of War 3. I've actually had to suspend my X-men Supreme duties for this game (but fear not, it will NOT cause delays). I've had to suspend a lot of things actually, but it was all very worth it!

I was among those who waited in line at midnight at a Gamestop on the eve of the launch. I had my game in hand by 12:03 AM and was home playing it by 12:30 AM. I started out on easy mode so I could get a feel for the game and the story and boy was it a big one! When people talk about the scale of a game, they throw around a lot of words like huge and epic. For God of War 3, it would take a whole new word in the English language to define the kind of scale this game has. From the very beginning, you're riding on the back of the titan, Gia. From there you routinely fly between Hades, Tartarus, and Mount Olympus. Every step of the way, the main character, Kratos, is slaughtering everyone and everything that gets in his way, including the gods of Olyumpus. And he doesn't just kill. He makes it makes brutal and bloody!

Now in relation to the first two games, it's worth noting that God of War 3 looks absolutely gorgeous. The first two were already a testament to the processing power of the Playstation 2. God of War 3 does the same with the Playstation 3 and utterly milks the system's capabilities for all they're worth. The environments, skin textures, and facial features are all so beautifully rendered. It's much easier to appreciate it later in the game when you encounter the likes of Aphrodite, who stars in the traditional God of War sex mini-game. While these sex games have been part of every God of War game, this one is special in some very unique ways!

Playing through the game is a roller coaster ride of awesome. You follow Kratos down the bloody path he has taken from the previous two games and see everything get tied together. It's interesting how some elements from the first two games were tied into this one, more so with the first God of War than the second. Some have argued that this makes for a somewhat choppy story that takes away from the finished product. It's easy to see why some would think that, but taken as a whole the story and the themes within it are wonderfully integrated.

By the end of the game dozens of gods have fallen. Posiden, Hades, Hermes, Helios, Hera, and Hercules to just name a few. Even the titans begin to fall as well including Gia and Kronos. Nobody is spared by Kratos. In a sense it seems fitting because throughout the game series, Kratos has been used and in many cases abused by these gods. His rage and wrath are without parallel and in the end, all those who did him wrong suffer by his blades.

As for the ending itself, the creators stated early on that the end of this series would explain why there are no more Greek myths. Well that definitely holds true. There really is nothing left in the end. As for Kratos, however, that's less clear. The door remains open for the Ghost of Sparta to return in some capacity. Even if it is in a new trilogy, the opportunity is there. Kratos has already shown an ability to cheat death many times before. There's no reason to believe he can't do it again.

So overall, God of War 3 and the God of War deserves a perfect 10/10, five stars, and all the acclaim in the world. Kratos proves himself to be an epic character. In relation to the characters in X-men Supreme, the X-men, there are none that stack up. Some have been so bold as to draw parallels between Kratos and Wolverine. This is simply no contest. Wolverine wouldn't stand a chance against Kratos. Wolverine may be tough, but his brutality depends on how much he's in control of himself. Kratos is ALWAYS in control and chooses to be the brutal killer he is. Wolverine may stab and hack through his enemies, but Kratos will take the extra time to brutally slaughter and torment them in ways that increases their suffering. There's simply no comparison. Kratos could go toe-to-toe against anybody in X-men. And who knows? He just might get that chance some day.

So that's my take on God of War 3. Now that I've beaten it, let me assure my readers that I will be getting back to X-men Supreme. I will not negate my series. That you can count on. But for something as epic as God of War 3, it deserves a moment to reflect and cherish this caliber of awesome. Such awesome is so rare when it comes along, but at the same time is so very worth it.