CBR X-POSITION: The X-Editors Answer One of My Questions

It has been a while since I was sober enough to submit some questions to CBR's weekly X-POSITION column. Don't get me wrong. I've had my share of questions and I read X-POSITION as regularly as I take a shit after eating an extra large spicy burrito from Taco Bell. And even when I submit questions, the decision to have them answered is at the mercy of the fine folks at CBR who are probably responsible enough to do most of their writing sober. But after a long period of time I just can't measure due to blackouts, one of my questions got asked and answered in a column featuring the editors to the X-books. Like seeing a puppy take a shit in the yard of that annoying neighbor who never mows their lawn, it's one of those little pleasures that make life more enjoyable.

CBR X-POSITION: All New X-Editors NOW!

MarvelMaster616 has a quick question about the relationship status of the X-Men.
Between what happened with Jean Grey and Beast and what might happen between Cyclops and X-23, what can you say about the future of the Cyclops/Jean relationship? Is Marvel looking to do to them what was also done to the Peter/Mary Jane relationship in Spider-Man?

White: Mary Jane? You mean Peter's former live-in girlfriend who he totally never married? 

Lowe: WONH WONH. The only thing Brian [Michael Bendis], Stuart [Immonen] and the rest of the "All-New X-Men" creators are trying to do is tell interesting stories that will take you all by surprise and get you talking and shocked and such.

That's not much of an answer. In fact, it's a dodge that's almost on the same level as Mitt Romney. My concerns are neither eased or worsened. Marvel's recent track record of just surprising and shocking fans is usually just code for pissing fans off. Because for reasons that I still don't understand, pissed off fans still buy these comics. It happened with Superior Spider-Man and I don't doubt it'll happen with the X-men comics. But at some point, pissed off fans have to get too pissed off about being pissed off. At least I hope that's what happens. I'm okay with being shocked and surprised. But if I want to get pissed off, I'll re-watch the Soprano's finale. I don't need to feel that in my comics. So whatever shocking and surprising shit Marvel has in store, I hope they're smart enough to do it for the right reasons in the right way.

This could be so right and so wrong in so many ways.

I know that's wishful thinking, especially for a drunk. I can only take comfort in the knowledge that Marvel never likes to fuck shit up too much before reverting it back to a certain status quo. A quick fix is just a deal with Mephisto away. Nuff said!

Marvel's New #1 Teaser - What Could It Be?!

I'll accuse Marvel of a lot of crazy shit, but I'll never accuse their marketing and PR people as being lazy. It seems we can't go more than a few weeks without them teasing something that will tear the Marvel universe several new assholes. I've done posts on teasers before and usually they're just vague enough to get you scratching your head. But every now and then they do one that is so perplexing that if it were an anime it would induce lethal seizures. This is one of them and it is only summed up as a big ass #1.

Marvel Promises "HUGE Story" With "Marvel" #1 Teaser

So what the hell could it be? First off, let's state clearly what it is and that's another excuse for Marvel to slap a new #1 on a comic book. I've already pointed this out many times before and fans continue to roll their eyes for some reason whenever it's vindicated multiple times. Books with #1 on them sell and until they stop selling, Marvel and DC will continue to churn out books with this magical number that allows them to get more money without having to do any additional work. Speaking on behalf of stoners everywhere, I can say without hestiation that there is inherent worth to such tactics. The folks at Marvel need stripper and booze money too.

But beyond what we know, what the fuck could this #1 entail? It listed a wide range of Marvel characters, some major and some minor and some pissant little redhead that should be dead by now. Is this a new series or some new event spinning right out of Age of Ultron? It's hard to tell, but fuck if I'm not intrigued. I'm sure that's exactly how Marvel planned it. A big ass #1 is all it takes for us brainless consumers to get interested. I want to be ashamed, but I'm too intrigued to give a shit. Nuff said!

All New X-men #5 Follow-Up By Newsarama And Preview Page

I normally don't follow up reviews because I either don't have the time or don't have the necessary access to hard liquor. But for a series like All New X-men, I'll gladly make an exception and do the chicken dance in a mud pit at a cock fight because the book has been that awesome. I recently gave All New X-men #5 a 4 out of 5 in my review. A substantial part of that high score came from Brian Michael Bendis and Stuart Immonen doing what should have been done nearly 10 fucking year ago. And for once, I'm not talking about Jean Grey.

When I (and most X-men fans I would argue) think of Hank McCoy, an image like this comes to mind:

That's the Beast that's been around since disco was still in vogue and cocaine was cheaper and more readily available in a Miami nightclub. When you look at that, you see a real man-Beast. A half-man, half-ape creature with an intellect that's akin to the bastard offspring of Stephen Hawking and Carl Sagan. That's the Beast I know and love. He's a lovable yet feral character who offers a striking balance between the civilized man and the primal beast, but unlike Wolverine isn't an asshole about it.

But for the past decade or so, this is the Beast most people have been getting:

That, my friends, is not a beast. That is a bad Thundercats cos-player that lost a bar bet. Most know him as Cat-Beast. I've often called him pussy-Beast, not just because he looks like something a cat would shit on. But mostly because he's been a insufferable douche-bag since he took that form. All he's done is constantly whine about Cyclops's mistakes. It's all "Cyclops is meanie! Cyclops keeps secrets! Cyclops gets to bang a hot blonde while I'm stuck with a hot yet moody half-woman/half-alien with green hair!" And through all this whining and bitching, has he ever offered a single alternative? Has he ever actually attempted to do something about the shit he complains about? Fuck no! Why? Because he's a pussy! Both literally and figuratively.

For this reason, I was extremely happy to see Brian Bendis and Stuart Immonen ditch that stupid cat-look for a look that makes him more like a fucking Beast ought to look.

It's not perfect. That hair style looks like something I Donald Trump would try to trademark, but it's a billion times better than being an overgrown pussy. And Brian Bendis has not hid his love for ape-Beast as opposed to pussy Beast. Granted, he's a bit more polite about it than I am, but that's probably because someone waters down his booze. In a recent interview about All New X-men #5, editor Nick Lowe talked about how he drank the wrong kind of booze altogether and favored Cat-Beast. But he eventually came around. That or Bendis's bald head hypnotized him into going along with it. Probably a combination of the two.

Newsarama: Spoiler Sport - Behind All New X-men's Big Character Change

Newsarama: Nick! You're well-established as one of the — if not the — biggest Cat Beast fans out there, and it looks like that version of Hank McCoy is no more as of this week's All-New X-Men #5. What motivated the change? And were you personally resistant to it?

Nick Lowe: Albert! Great to be back on Newsarama. I’m a big Beast fan, period. I do love the Cat Beast look, as not only do I think that he looks more like a “beast” in that look rather than the classic Gil Kane/George Perez/etc... rendition but I pretty much love every line Frank Quitely has put on paper, so...

Anyway, we would often get in big disagreements (by we, I mean me and most of the room) at editorial retreats about Cat Beast vs. Ape Beast. Also, the old design doesn’t look like an ape! Anyway, my resistance was against reverting to the older version because I thought that the more beastly looking works better for the actual character. But since this is a new, still beastly design and not just a furry guy with big hair, I was all in! But my passion on the subject does open me up to lots of ridicule. But that’s OK, I’m the youngest of three in my family so I’m used to that.

...

Newsarama: Of course, Beast's change appears to be more than just a makeover. How important is the new look going to be to Beast's character going forward? (He certainly seemed happy about it.) And given history, do you see a visual shift every 10, 12 years or so as a fundamental part of the character at this point?

Lowe: Beast’s happiness had more to do, I think, with the not-dying, but he does seem delighted by the change. I think that has more to do with his scientific curiosity, but that may just be Cat-Beast-Fan-Me rationalizing.

No clue if it’ll be an ongoing cycle for the character, but I do love that thought. The scientist who experiments on himself never learning not to do that.

In addition, we even got a brief preview of a future issue of All New X-men that shows Beast enjoying his new look.

I can go on and on about how awesome All New X-men is, but we all know the Original Five aren't going to stay in the present forever. Hell, Marvel may decide to kill Jean Grey again once they feel they feel like pissing off a certain fanbase again. Fuck, everything they do could be completely undone down the line with a simple mind wipe or another time travel gimmick. But if Hank McCoy's new look stays, the series will still have succeeded on some levels. And for that, I deem All New X-men awesome on an entirely new level. Nuff said!

MORE Previews of All New X-men #1 and Beyond

At this point, keeping up with all of the previews and teasers for the upcoming All New X-men series is like trying to keep up with Charlie Sheen on a cocaine bender. It's damn near impossible and somewhere along the way some hookers may end up permanently scarred. But you don't have to keep up with all the teasers, hints, spoilers, and hype Marvel is throwing behind this new series to be excited about it. Just seeing the Original Five X-men back in the present and imagining how awkward it will be for Wolverine when he has to keep it in his pants around a teenage Jean Grey makes this series more than worth knocking yourself out with heroin so you don't have to wait as long. But this past week, Marvel has gone into greater detail about what to expect with this series as if they haven't done enough to divulge the entire first issue. They did an entire liveblog about it in which Brian Michael Bendis and Nick Lowe couldn't stop soaking their panties at the prospect of writing Jean Grey again. To be fair, I've yet to walk out of a situation that involves talking about All New X-men where my panties haven't been soaked as well.

CBR: Bendis & Lowe Introduce All New X-men

There is so much potential for a series like this. It doesn't just bring Jean Grey back into the fold. It essentially takes what made Back to the Future awesome and applies to the X-men, minus the incest. It also has the potential to get back to the basics with the X-men. Since House of M, they've been less about heroics and more about being this mutant militia fighting for survival. Now I'm not going to deny that shit is pretty awesome and has made for some damn good stories, but it gets old after a while. There's only so many ways you can make a superhero team look like badasses before they become douche-bags.

And if time travel wasn't enough, Bendis and Lowe also promise a few hints beyond the overly spoiled All New X-men #1. Like who will be in a position to fuck with the Original Five more than Wolverine will fuck with Jean Grey's underwear? How about motherfucking Mystique!

Bendis also revealed who the major villain of the piece will be. "A very big, positioned antagonist is going to be Mystique," Bendis said. "She's going to be very interested in the past X-Men coming here."

So not only is one famous redhead coming back. Another is entering the picture again. Apparently, she's going to get tired of fucking Sabretooth in the pages of Uncanny X-Force and need to fuck with someone else. Given that Mystique was one of the first comic book women I've ever jerked off to, this is a wonderful revelation and I will buy Bendis a full brick of cocaine if he can make it sufficiently awesome.

He also says there are plans for the Original Five to cross paths with Hope "Jean rip-off" Summers. 

There are also huge plans for Hope Summers -- Lowe referenced "Cable and X-Force," but Bendis said there might be some interaction with Jean Grey and Hope later down the line.

I've already gone into many rants about how this bitchy ripoff character needs to die a 1,000 deaths and her grave be shat upon by a 1,000 fat men with irritable bowel syndrome. So I won't go into another and just say I hope Original Five Jean Grey is prepared to telekinetically bitch slap this pathetic excuse for a mutant messiah.

There's so much to look forward to. I've already made plans for when this series is finally released and Marvel stops spoiling the first issue. I've got a bottle of lube, a few bags of blow, some candles, and a new bong. I intend to lay naked on my bed, covered in baby oil while I read the book with my Grateful Dead collection playing in the background. My balls are already wet so November 7th can't come fast enough! In the meantime, here is some of the preview art that Marvel released for All New X-men #1 and beyond.

Not sure if Kitty and Iceman are doing something important or are just trying to enjoy a little thrill sex before the Original Five hogs the spotlight. Might be a little of both.

This image was already released months ago, but this time it's in motherfucking color! I was tripping on shrooms when I saw the first preview so I didn't notice.

Wolverine has clearly detected the scent of a live Jean Grey. His penis is taking it from there!

The Original Five confront Adult Cyclops, Magneto, and a lot of visibly confused people who probably think their drinks were spiked. Whereas Wolverine's penis will probably fuck with him upon seeing Jean Grey again, I imagine many other body parts will be fucking with Cyclops when he sees his dead wife as a teenager again.

Not sure what's going on here, but I think the reason they're focusing on their heads is because they may be in the process of shitting themselves.

Once again, teenage Jean Grey is overwhelmed and teenage Cyclops tries to help her. Is it cliched? Yes. Is it still awesome? Fuck yes.

Looks like someone got way too fucking wasted last night. It looks like me after my 21st birthday. A vision of the past or a prelude of what will happen on my next trip to Tijuana? We'll have to wait and see! Nuff said!

CBR X-POSITION: X-Editors - My Questions Asked and (Mostly) Answered

I've always suspected that the big wigs at Marvel get way too many kicks out of the power they have over legions of fanboys like myself. At some point I'm sure they stop and think "Gee, I can legally profit off the awesome of these characters and mold them in my own vision. Damn, that's cool!" There are times when they use that power responsibly. There are times when they abuse it with the ferocity of hungry lion in a pack of wounded zebras. But lately, they've been doing a lot of shit right so for that I raise my glass and drink to their contributions. Keeping in mind, of course, that I drink to damn near anything.

Whenever the editors (you know, the ones with the REAL authority at Marvel), come out from their secret underground base built that's probably nestled somewhere in the Alps it's a big deal. Especially when a huge event like Avengers vs. X-men is on the horizon. Pretty much everyone at Marvel won't shut up about it and why would they? They're pitting the Avengers against the X-men while the freakin' Phoenix Force is on it's way to cook them like a pound of bacon in an Epic Mealtime video. It's led to all sorts of speculation and what not. So for this week's X-POSITION column, the X-Editors took time to further tempt us X-men fans into parting with our money and part of our souls.

CBR X-POSITION: X-men Editors

As any responsible drunk, I took some time between hangovers and binges to write a few questions for the find folk putting together this epic event. Not all of them were asked, but the fine folk at CBR were nice enough to ask the important ones. This is what they said.

MarvelMaster616 is next, and he begins our descent into the world of queries surrounding "Avengers vs. X-Men."


1) I've really been enjoying Jeph Loeb's work on "Avengers: X-Sanction." Can you talk about how the events of this story will fit into what happens in "Avengers vs. X-Men" and the books preceding it?


2) It's already been established that the Phoenix Force will be a big part of "Avengers vs. X-Men." However, there's been no mention whatsoever of Jean Grey. If I recall, Jean Grey supposedly merged fully with the Phoenix Force during the events of "Phoenix -- Endsong," yet she's been utterly divorced from the Phoenix Force as it has interacted with Hope, the Cuckoos, and Rachel Grey. When did the Phoenix Force become completely separate from Jean Grey?


3) In one of the covers to "Avengers vs. X-Men," Wolverine looks torn between fighting alongside the Avengers and the X-Men. What can we expect from him as the conflict unfolds?


Old chum, MarvelMaster616! Have you lost weight? You look terrific! Anyway, let's answer your queries!


1) "Avengers: X-Sanction" will have no effect on the books preceding AvX (as it's one of them and isn't finished yet), but it will have big effects on AvX itself. That will become way more clear when you've seen issues #3 and #4.


2) You are correct that there has been no mention of Jean Grey leading up to AvX. Read into that however you would like. Can't say much more than that, I'm afraid.


3) That's another question I can't say too much about without spoiling things. But the gravitational pull between the A and X will weigh heavily on Wolverine. You'll see this in AvX #1, "Wolverine and the X-Men" #9 and "New Avengers" #24.

I'm not sure if it's a good sign that the X-crew recognize my drunken ramblings or not. I'm also not even sure if Nick Lowe was just screwing with me. It may be a little of both since I doubt he reads this blog. But he's always been among the more eccentric members of the Marvel crew so I take some of his words with a grain of salt. But at least he made an effort.

The first question about X-Sanction was poorly worded on my part. I probably shouldn't have used the words 'preceeding.' I meant to ask whether X-Sanction would effect any other books besides Avengers vs. X-men. But whether he intended to or not, he may have already answered it in stating that it would affect the event itself. If I can take that at face value (and I'm never sure with Nick Lowe), that means that the outcome of X-Sanction probably won't be felt in other X-books until Avengers vs. X-men kicks in. So I got my answer there.

I didn't expect him to spoil the ongoing conflict between Wolverine's hatred of Cyclops, his membership to the Avengers, and which side he takes. But I always appreciate it when someone actually gives me issues to look forward to so that I at least know when I get my answer. It's better than Tom Brevoort just saying "wait and see" on his Formspring account. That shit just gets old after a while. So I appreciate that.

Where things get fuzzy though is with the Jean Grey question. And honestly, is that surprising? Everyone at Marvel has been allergic to Jean Grey lately. That's understandable when there isn't a rip-off character that looks just like her in Hope Summers running around and when the Phoenix Force isn't on it's way to broil the Earth. Unfortunately, this isn't the case. Despite being dead for nearly a decade, Jean Grey still comes up in pretty much every major interview about the future of X-men. Yet Marvel is trying much harder than usual to avoid addressing her on every level. Some may see that as a sign that she's going to play a part in this event. I interpret more as an "if we ignore it long enough then maybe it'll go away." It doesn't work with cockroaches so I don't see why it would work with Jean Grey. This begs the question as to why Jean hasn't been mentioned. Forget for a moment that Hope Summers looks just like her, adopted her dress sense, and was raised by what is technically her biological son. When the fucking Phoenix Force is involved, Jean Grey is usually not far behind. Even in shitty stories like Phoenix Warsong, she's at least mentioned at times. None of that shit has happened with Avengers vs. X-men. This may or may not be Jean's triumphant and overdue return. Or it may be the event the finally separates her fully from the Phoenix Force and entrenches Hope as her replacement. I'm personally inclined to believe the latter given Marvel's utter revulsion to bring Jean back while bringing characters like Sabretooth back. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm not getting my hopes up for Jean's return. There have just been too many false teases for it to have any real meaning.

I'm still excited about Avengers vs. X-men. I feel it's going to be the biggest event since the invention of whiskey. But if you're a Jean Grey fan and are banking on this to be her big comeback, I would caution you to tie your ass to a tree and hold on because when that rug gets pulled out from under you it'll be a hell of a fall. Other than that, this has all the necessary potential to be the biggest event in a decade. The onus is on Marvel to blow our minds and I've got the paper towels and windex ready. Nuff said!

CBR: X-POSITION - Teasing By The Big Bosses

I try to be an active comic book fan in the same way I try to be a competent drunk. That means I don't pass up opportunities to express my interest in the upcoming events of my favorite comics in the same way I don't pass up a chance to get shit faced on a Friday night. The Marvel big wigs (along with every competent comic writer for that matter) usually play their shit pretty tight to the chest. I'm convinced that they all go through torture endurance training in a Russian gulag to condition themselves to never give away spoilers until the time is right to generate sufficient internet buzz. This seems to happen every other Tuesday, but like the retarded lab rat on the exercise wheel we fanboys like to think we're getting somewhere.

The X-POSITION columns by Comic Book Resources are always a treat. They're like a box of imported Swiss chocolate for X-men fans. Every week or so the find folk at Marvel take time out of their busy schedule of crafting awesome comics and oogling pictures of sexy cosplayers to throw us fans a bone. Granted, that bone rarely has any meat on it, but it's better than being strangled with a choke chain and sold to Michael Vick's old dog fighting buddies. This time the top guns of the X-books saw fit to throw us feeble fans a bone. Nick Lowe, Daniel Ketchum, and Jordan White teamed up make X-men fans salivate like Eric Cartman outside a KFC. With the recent events of Schism and Wolverine and the X-men, they have a lot to work with.


CBR: X-POSITION - X-Editors

As always, I sent my share of questions to the fine folk at CBR in the vain hopes that the X-editors would cast pity on my drunken soul and answer them. They seemed to be in a good enough mood so they did so with their usual coyness and teasing. Now I may be a drunk, but I'm under no illusions. I know they're not going to give shit away before they have a chance to make big bucks and tempt more fans like a stripper offering discounts on a Dirty Diana. But I like to know that it's on their radar.


Next up, we've got a round of questions from MarvelMaster616:

1) Now that Wolverine is running a school, how will he still manage X-Force? Wouldn't running a team like that hurt his credibility as a leader like it did with Cyclops?

2) This may have been discussed elsewhere, but what role is Charles Xavier going to play in this new era of X-Men? We saw him make an appearance in “Wolverine and the X-Men” #1. Where else can we expect to see him?

3) It was recently revealed that the first arc of James Asmus' run on “Generation Hope” would involve Sebastian Shaw. Emma Frost went to great lengths to conceal Shaw, lying to both Namor and Cyclops. Can you talk about how this will or won't play into future stories in this book?

4) The "It's Coming" teaser features (what we assume is) a Phoenix. Given all the Phoenix hints we've seen from Hope Summers, what can we expect from the "city in Arizona" as Cyclops called it?

Lowe: YO YO YO, MarvelMaster616! Lots of questions, but then again, you always are quite inquisitive!

1) You will have to read UNCANNY X-FORCE #19 and WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN #4 to answer the question as to how Wolverine justifies his two lives. 

White: I would also argue that I am not sure running X-Force DID hurt Cyclops’ credibility as a leader. It seems to have CEMENTED it. Exactly ONE X-Man left the team over the subject, and none of the others even so much as called for his resignation as team leader. If anything, I would say it made him seem like a more serious leader who makes the hard choices that others are too weak to handle. Whether or not that is a GOOD thing…well, your mileage may vary.

Lowe: 2) Professor X still has his hands full with his son Legion, so he’s not going to have a big role on either side of the Schism.

3) The Emma/Shaw/Namor thing is a HUGE part of his upcoming role in GENERATION HOPE.

4) That teaser is going to be VERY important to our publishing of next year, but that’s about all I can say. Other than CHECK OUT THE "POINT ONE" ANTHOLOGY THIS WEEK!

The X-editors are as polite and delightfully demented as I expected. It doesn't bother me that I don't get a direct answer, but it certainly is a thrill when they give me something to look forward to. Lowe was actually specific this time, citing Uncanny X-Force #19 and Wolverine and the X-men #4. Now I was probably going to get those books anyways, but knowing that they can answer the burning question of how the fuck Wolverine can run a school by day and a kill squad by night makes them all the more awesome. So I'll etch another reminder in my forehead to remind me to get those books and read them with the same scrutiny that Thor fans give Natalie Portman's ass.

However, I do have to disagree with White. I think running X-Force did hurt Cyclops in a number of ways. The end of Second Coming showed this pretty clearly when Storm, Wolverine, and some of the New Mutants called bullshit. Yeah, they didn't leave him or ask him to step down, but seriously what the fuck was the alternative? Let Magneto or Emma Frost run things? They would elect Herman Cain before they let anyone else run Utopia. I think the case can be made that it helped sew the seeds of Schism because Wolverine openly defied Cyclops by reforming X-Force after he disbanded them. Now he's openly defying him again while naming a school after his dead wife. I would say that's excessive, but with Wolverine you can't expect anything less.

Glad to know that I'll have more reasons to read Generation Hope for the Shaw/Emma plot, but I'm more intrigued by yet another reminder that 2012 will be the year the Phoenix Force takes center stage. Lowe is hyping it up as if it's bigger than the Mayan Doomsday prophecy and he's not the first one. My local mall is already exploiting Christmas gimmicks for a sales boost so that means the year is almost over. 2012 is almost here and all the Phoenix teasers may finally pay off. Now I'm extremely dubious as Phoenix material has been loaded with cop-outs in recent years, dating back to before Second Coming. But Marvel has never been this vocal about it. They're not being coy anymore. They're yelling that the Phoenix is coming at the top of their lungs and with the fervor of a punch in the nuts. My balls are already deflated from Schism, but I'm sure they'll be back in time for the Phoenix!

It looks as though the Phoenix Force will be that proverbial carrot on a stick that all the X-books are running towards like rabbits on crack. Marvel has grown more and more fond of using Phoenix imagery since Second Coming and I like to think that means they'll actually be doing something with it. Then again, we've been mislead before. I'll keep my ass clenched until then. For now, the post-Schism world of the X-books should tide me over along with a nice bottle of premium vodka. Nuff said!

SDCC X-men Panel - Hints, Teases, and More Reasons to Get Drunk

Well I've been waiting for and dreading it all week! I made sure I was good and drunk before it happened. I got naked just in case. Sometimes I get excited and it helps to be naked, especially when these comic panels are such a mixed bag. There have been years where I've come away needing a good kick in balls and a thorough shower to wipe off the stench. There have also been years where I need to inject beta blockers into the base of my spine because the awesome is just so intense that my heart would explode if I allowed it to overwhelm me. I'm never sure which it will be. This year we've had Schism, Fear Itself tie-ins, a new Uncanny writer, more Jean Grey teases, Age of X, X-23, and Children's Crusade. So the guys at Marvel that actually get paid to blow our minds have a lot to work with. CBR posted a full report and I think I can say with confidence that there is plenty of promise for the X-books.


CBR: CCI X-men Panel

Schism was the main topic and understandably so. It's a big deal when the X-men's most epic bromance crumbles like Larry King's last three marriages. It's going to change a lot of shit. Uncanny is getting relaunched alongside a new book unoriginally entitled Wolverine and the X-men. Gee, I wonder what it's about? Titles aside, we don't know who will be on which team. Team Cyclops and Team Wolverine are more divided than hoards of Twilight fans fighting over pubic hairs from Robert Pattinson. The only confirmation revealed was Emma Frost. She was on the cover of Uncanny X-men, which pretty much affirms who she sides with. But seriously, how is that shocking? Wherever Cyclops and his penis go, she goes. So any prospects of the Cyclops/Emma relationship ever being shaken up by this shit can be shot in the head and buried with the Pope's gay porno stash. But there were some other strange hints by Axel Alonso that indicated that Cyclops might not be around after Schism. Now he could just be blowing hot air, but if Cyclops is not involved in the X-books then that's a big fucking deal. The X-books have been the Cyclops and Friends show for quite some time. If Schism is really that bad, then maybe everyone's favorite psychic-loving leader may be on the out. If that's the case, it could be a shift on par with Pat Robertson wearing assless chaps to a Lady Gaga concert.

As always, there was a Jean Grey question. As always, Marvel brushes it off. And even though Nick Lowe confirmed that Hope and Jean aren't linked, Axel saw fit to be coy about it. All I can ask is why? Marvel still has a strict "No Jean Grey in 616" policy. They brought up her Age of Apocalypse version, but for some fans there can be no substitutes. It's not a matter of coke vs. pepsi. It's a matter of Rolex watch and a shitty replica.

Overall, there are some intriguing prospects to be gained from this panel. There's nothing too disgusting, but nothing that warrants breaking out a mountain of blow. It definitely heightens the potential for Schism. I'll definitely be keeping track of that series here on this blog so stay tuned for more assessments as they come in as well as more tips on how to mix booze and comics. 2011 has been a decent year so far. Before the Mayan Apocalypse sets in, Marvel has plenty more to offer! Nuff said.

BREAKING COMIC NEWS: Marvel Relaunching Uncanny X-men (Not a joke)!

No, I'm not drunk. No, I'm not high (too much). This is a real news story that broke on Yahoo this morning. Marvel has announced that this October, Uncanny X-men will end at #544 and be relaunched. This comes just weeks after DC announced that it's relaunching it's entire line with 52 number ones. Now I'm a little rusty on my 12th grade calculus, but 52 against 1 sounds like Marvel is being a bit underhanded. That or they're just hoping to cash in on the whole relaunch fever bit. Whatever the case, it comes off as more of a gimmick than an initiative.

Yahoo News: Marvel's Uncanny X-men Ending in October

Now this isn't coming out of nowhere so it may not be a total gimmick. I've already written about the upcoming Schism event with Marvel. Well that's what prompts this whole relaunch in the first place. Apparently, the divide between Wolverine and Cyclops is so severe that it warrants ending one of the longest running Marvel titles in history. Uncanny X-men started back in 1963 when my parents were barely old enough to shit in toilets. Now they're retooling it like they did the adjectiveless X-men title last year (which quickly fell into mediocrity after the Curse of the Mutants arc). I'm not sure what to make of this. I'll need to get plastered to wrap my brain around it. But here's a snippet of what Nick Lowe said.

"In the last five years or so, the X-Men have been exploring a different angle. A catastrophe reduced the population to a couple of hundred mutants, and no new ones are being born," he said. "This fledgling species was looking at extinction - and the militarized forces of prejudice moved in for the kill."

Cyclops united the remaining Mutants, doing what neither Magneto nor Xavier, aka Professor X, was able to do.

"Everyone has basically gone along with Cyclops, no matter what reservations they had," he added, but now, those reservations are reaching the breaking point, which is the focus of "Schism" and sounding the death knell of the Uncanny X-Men.

Marvel Liveblog News: Nick Lowe Ends the Hope/Jean Controversy

Well it's finally happened. I've been ranting about it, bitching about it, and brooding about it ever since this blog started. The Hope/Jean issue has been a real sticking point if not a drag. That tends to happen when you drop so many hints and drag a plot out for years at a time. Well today the dragging stopped. We finally have an answer for the Hope/Jean controversy. The answer, in a word, is fucked.

It happened during Marvels live blog today that covered the upcoming events of Uncanny X-men and Generation Hope with Kieron Gillen. As everybody knows, I've been following those books closely on this blog. They've been a major source of tension for the Hope/Jean issue. Now they feel like a big waste of time because this was what CBR reported from the blog.

Fans online asking after Jean Grey prompted Lowe to say that despite seeing "the foggy specter of a redhead in the White Room" in recent issues, he has no idea why anyone would expect Jean in the book before saying "Hope is not Jean Grey...take that for what you will."

If you actually read the transcript of the from the Marvel he throws in another tidbit. "Jean Grey is dead." To further reinforce this point to assure fans that it wasn't ordinary bullshit, Marvel tweeted it minutes later. So there's no ambiguity or teasing here. It's a clear, straight answer.

So there you have it. Hope is not Jean Grey and Jean Grey is dead. Despite seeing hints of her in the pages of Uncanny, it all turned out to be bullshit. There's nothing more to it. Hope is just a ripoff of a character who looks like Jean and wields the Phoenix Force like Jean. That essentially renders her as one of the lamest creations Marvel has created since Geldoff in Ultimate Spider-Man. 


Now this really burns me in a lot of ways. Nick Lowe has commented on Jean Grey before. He was very ambiguous on a past X-POSITION. In this he said: As far as Hope goes, there are certainly hints being laid about a certain firey bird-like shaped thing. We definitely have wheels in motion, but I can't give you a target date or anything like that.

That wasn't the only one either. In an even earlier X-POSITION he was asked about when the Hope/Jean/Phoenix issue would be resolved. He said the following:

That seems like something that would be addressed in Generation Hope to me.

He's not the only one who has commented on it. Before that there was a column by Tom Brevoort and Axel Alonso on an X-men creative summit. I asked a question about Lowe's remarks about Jean's status. 

Brevoort: The problem with wanting a definitive answer on a question such as this, Master616, is that the real answer is next month's comics, and the month after that, and the month after that. We'll be perfectly up front about the fact that, in cases like this, we're teasing you with something. But asking to know the identity of the killer before you read the murder mystery isn't productive, and knowing it won't enhance your reading experience, it will only lessen it. So relax - maybe there's a connection between Hope and Jean Grey, and maybe there isn't. The fun is in finding out!

Alonso: What Tom said. Also, two things:

(1) Everyone knows that Nick Lowe is a certified knucklehead. 

(2) Remember, here at Marvel: Once dead, always dead. Right?
Wait.  

So after all that teasing Nick Lowe finally settles it in one statement. It's all bullshit and it was just a big red herring that was drawn out over the course of three years. Now maybe I'm weird (who among us isn't?), but I don't like being bullshitted. I don't like it when I'm teased and taunted for over three years and then it all turns out to be a big lie. Worst of all, this came out in a fucking interview. It didn't happen in a story. It didn't happen on panel. The guy who happens to be the top editor of the X-books just dropped the ball and admitted it was all a lie.

Well as some of you can imagine, I'm a little pissed. I take a huge offense to shit like this. As much as I love X-men comics, I don't like being lied to about one of my favorite characters and having her replaced with some cheap rip-off in Hope Summers. This has essentially killed any appeal I once had for these books. Given how long I've been following them, that's saying a lot.

The immediate effect of this is my reviews from here on out are going to be a lot more bitter. I have a few I've been working on for this weekend, but only one is related to X-men so expect that one to be a bit nastier than usual. If you enjoy the poop jokes and what not, you'll be perfectly okay with it. But I really don't appreciate bullshit like this. I'm a loyal reader of Marvel comics and when I read a long, drawn out story that turns out to be a total farce I get really offended. I'm weird like that. 

So to all you wonderful followers of this blog, I really appreciate your support. I apologize if I sound bitter, but I'll try not to let it affect my work on X-men Supreme or my reviews. I know I reported earlier I would cease reviews, but given how many people enjoy the reviews I simply can't in good conscious do so. Too many people seem to enjoy it and I'd hate to screw them over. I want to focus on making X-men Supreme better by not being a massive dick-cheese to fans. Hopefully Marvel will take note. Until next time, take care and best wishes my fellow knights of all things awesome. Excelsior!


Jack

X-POSITION: Nick Lowe - My Questions Asked...Sort Of

As always, I get giddy as a school-girl who skipped her Riddlin dose when my questions get asked in Comic Book Resource's weekly X-POSITION series. I try to submit them as often as I can. I don't just do it because I like having my name shown. I have questions that I need answered, damn it! And Marvel remains the ultimate gatekeeper so I ask away.

CBR: X-POSITION - Nick Lowe

This week Nick Lowe is the one answering the call. He's not known for being very articulate or serious. At times he comes off as Jim Carey in the Mask. He may think it's cute and all, but some fans are serious. We're passionate about our X-men comics and we appreciate it when the creators are serious as well (to a point). I originally asked four questions. When an editor is on board, he's usually in a position to know more. Anyone who has ever worked in publishing knows that writers may get their names on the material, but in the grand scheme of things the writers are the hos and the editors are the pimps. Now that Nick Lowe is the top editor in the X-office, he's essentially the X-men's top pimp. Unfortunately, of the four questions I asked only two got answered.

On the topic of the mansion, MarvelMaster616 was curious about the fella whose name is on the front gates of the palatial estate.

1) Are there plans for Professor Xavier? He hasn't been active lately. Will he work his way back into the X-Men sometime this year?

2) How will "Fear Itself" be tied into the other X-Men titles? Will there be tie-in issues, separate miniseries, or will we not see the effects of the event until it's all over? 

1) MM616! There are some plans for Professor X. It's not a solo book or anything, but he's got a role in a few upcoming places.

2) "Fear Itself" will indeed have some X-Men stuff going on, both in the pages of monthly books and in separate miniseries. It's really exciting stuff. (HINT: Warlock is getting a helmet fitted.)

They were short answers, but they were short questions to begin with and Mr. Lowe didn't beat around the bush. I have been genuinely curious as to what the hell Professor Xavier is up to in the X-books. He literally put the X in X-men and he's been doing jack shit in the books for years. The most he did recently was unleash his schizophrenic son on Bastion in Second Coming. You would think the guy got killed off at some point, but he's still alive. He's just taking a back seat to Cyclops, Emma Frost, Colossus, Magneto, Wolverine, Pixie, and hell even Squirrel Girl gets more attention than him. So it's nice to know he's got a role coming up soon. I hope he delivers.

The second question about Fear Itself was pure logistics. Usually when these events come out I need to have a sit-down with my wallet to discuss which books I want to buy and which books I CAN buy. Since Fear Itself is actually going to bleed into the monthly books that may make it easier. My wallet still hates me though and will probably put shit in my slippers when it gets a chance. Thta's what yo uhave to deal with as a comic fan.

Now I know what some of you may be thinking at this point. "MarvelMaster616, you always try to squeeze in a Jean/Hope question. What gives? Are you high again?" Well only part of those questions may be valid, but I'm not too high to forget the issue I can't stop bitching about. I did actually ask it, but it was not listed in the X-POSITION. That doesn't mean it was ignored though. Apparently, I'm not the only one for who this issue is like a thorn sticking out of my scrotum. A fellow X-men fan named Ramelito asked my question and was a bit more articulate about it.


Hi Nick! Congrats on the big promotion! I've been enjoying pretty much everything the X-office is putting out, so I hope you'll forgive me if my questions sound a bit negative, but I'm hoping you can give me your take on the following:

1) "Generation Hope" #3 dropped another hint that Hope and Jean may be linked. This is something that has been teased since Hope was first born. How long do you think a comic can tease a mystery before fans stop caring? I'm not asking this to be rude, but at some point, something that's over-teased creates unrealistic expectations for fans and the truth can be a let-down (for example, Wolverine's true origin which was teased for 30+ years). What are your thoughts on the sustaining of a tease?

Thank you for the kind words, Ramelito. I couldn't agree more about how good the X-books are right now. They're going to get even better this year once you all hear what we've got coming! To answer your first question, I'm going to have to ask you to turn in your X-Men Fan Club Card. An X-fan saying that we've been teasing something too long? The Summers Brother thing, the betrayer thread and many other story teases went on much longer than this has. As far as Hope goes, there are certainly hints being laid about a certain firey bird-like shaped thing. We definitely have wheels in motion, but I can't give you a target date or anything like that.


There was another question he asked, but this is the one that stuck out most. Rather than try to be as articulate as Ramelito, I'll just up and say it pissed me off. Nick Lowe is essentially making light of dragging out a plot for which the hints and teases have been so horribly blatant that he might as well be hiring thugs from the Sicilian mob to go door-to-door to each X-men fan's house and beat them upside the head with a lead pipe. The hints dropped about Hope and Jean being linked haven't just been teases. They've been painfully blatant. Hope looks like Jean, she acts like Jean (especially her New X-men incarnation from the Grant Morrison run), she dresses like Jean, she has the same hair-style as Jean, and as Second Coming affirmed she has a connection to the Phoenix Force like Jean. Even Rachel freakin' Grey has more features to set her apart. 

The latest issue of Generation Hope #3 dropped another hint, one that might as well have replaced Hope with Jean for a moment because it would be the exact same thing. There's a difference between the teases of stories like the third Summers brother or Logan's past. Those were more subtle. In fact, the third Summers brother was hinted at only once by Sinister in some obscure comic and not mentioned again for years. Hope Summers has been teased at being Jean Grey on a routine basis since Messiah Complex unfolded three years ago. The teases haven't been subtle. They've been so painfully obvious that it's really hard to tell Jean and Hope apart at times. The fact Nick Lowe acknowledges that they've dropped hints is essentially an admission that they're not done teasing yet. The comments about dragging it out only imply they're going to wait as long as possible before they ever sort this out.


Think about that. Another few years of this Hope/Jean shit. You pick up a book and it looks like Jean, it acts like Jean, and if the books could sweat it would smell like Jean too. But they're not saying Hope is Jean. It's like Marvel refusing to acknowledge a 900 pound gorilla taking a shit in it's hand and rubbing it in their faces, yet refusing to acknowledge that anything is amiss. To essentially drop hints that are so blatant yet completely ignore them is not a sign that should be classified as good or even logical.


Then there are the far darker implications. Say Marvel does drag out the Hope/Jean issue for years. Then when they finally get around to it they make it so Hope and Phoenix have a connection, but Jean Grey is completely absent. They essentially ignore Jean completely, pushing her out of the equation and only keeping Phoenix. That would be the last straw. To basically make a character that's pretty much a Jean knock-off, give her the most defining element people associate with Jean with the Phoenix, and then completely separate her from the mix would the comic book equivalent of treason by pedophilia. Hope already has the Phoenix. That's been confirmed so there's no going back there. But Phoenix is and always has been associated with Jean Grey. There's no way around that. To try and use the Phoenix without bringing Jean Grey back is trying to have your cake and eat it too. It's Marvel's way to try and capitalize on Jean's popularity without having to bring her back and do all the hard work associated with it. If Hope is just a Jean replacement, then she's not much of a character. Should Marvel do this, making Hope and Phoenix without Jean Grey, then I'm done. I'm finished. I'm not buying another Marvel comic again and I'm closing this blog. That's not a joke or an idle threat. I will close this blog and never post another review. I'll still work on my website, but I'm done with Marvel comics. I hope they're not that stupid, but I've been wrong before. The mere fact that Hope being Jean makes so much sense leads me to believe Marvel won't go that route. They'll try to pull a fast one and if they do, I'm done. You can wax my chest, cut off my balls, put a wig on my head, and call me Liza Benili. I'm done.


Glad to get that out of my system. I'll keep asking these questions and hope the answer comes soon. I would like 2011 it be the year when I don't have to keep messing up Hope and Jean. I'm willing to wait a bit longer for the answers if necessary, but I have my limits and I'd rather not test them. Nuff said.

X-POSITION: Nick Lowe - My Questions Asked

Comic Book Resources had another X-POSITION earlier today and since my questions were asked, I'm compelled to post them as I always do. I know I shouldn't keep getting so giddy about it, but I can't help it! It's fun to see one of the Marvel big-wigs actually clear up some of the crazy thoughts that are going through your mind. Today, Nick Lowe drew the wrong straw and answered some questions about various X-titles.

CBR: X-POSITION - Nick Lowe

The news wasn't too big, consisting mostly of teasers for upcoming issues and a general restating of what was already announced at the New York Comic Con. The next big event appears to be Age of X, which starts in January 2011. Not much info has been given, but details are supposed to come out with future solicits so the thinly veiled answers should start coming in. I didn't bother asking these questions. Mine were more specific, including one about my favorite shape shifter.

Speaking of Mystique, MarvelMaster616 is wondering if she feels the pain of motherhood in light of recent events:

1) Does Mystique know that Nightcrawler died during the fight against Bastion? Will her reaction (and necessary revenge) become an issue at some point? I can't imagine she would be too happy with Cyclops, Hope, or Wolverine at the moment…

Mystique knows, certainly. As for if anything will come of it, you'll have to keep reading.

2) What is the status of Storm's marriage to Black Panther? If he's now taking on the Daredevil mantle, what does that mean for them? Will this necessarily lead to marital drama?

As a long-married man (one Herculean year), I need to answer this questions with another: what doesn't lead to marital drama?

3) Is Namor going to remain with the X-Men on a long-term basis? If so, how much does Emma Frost influence that decision? The man can't seem to resist blonds…

Namor is with the X-Men for the long haul. And Emma definitely weighs heavily into that fact. Haven't you been reading "Uncanny?"

There was another question I posted. It was about the status of Mr/Mrs. Sinister. I don't know why that got cut, but I was especially curious about that one. Sinister has been MIA since Messiah Complex and the promise of new mutants must have some appeal to a guy like that. Perhaps he'll show up in Age of X. Perhaps they'll wait for when Generation Hope heats up and the Jean/Phoenix/Hope storyline is finally resolved (which was mentioned BTW).

I'm cautiously optimistic. I really do want to to see what happens with Generation Hope, Age of X, Namor, and Mystique. There's a lot of potential here, but there's also a lot of potential for horrendous disappointment and I'm always trying to prepare myself. That's why I'm keeping things with X-men Supreme going. Without that, my spirit would be an empty shell. Hopefully it doesn't come to that and my optimism and past frustrations will pay off.

In the meantime, stay tuned for Supreme Reflections! That's coming up at the end of the week. Also keep your eyes out for new artwork! I'm always looking to expand it. Until next time, take care! Excelsior!

Jack

Second Coming Q&A - Thoughts From The Adherents

Second Coming is in full swing at Marvel. It appears the writers and editors simply cannot contain their excitement as they have been giving out interviews in the way McDonalds gives out heart attacks. On the hype alone it may be just as dangerous for all fanboys with heart conditions, but nobody is complaining yet. So far nothing has been revealed to completely destroy interest in this crossover so Marvel is doing all the right things thus far.

X-men Second Coming: Q&A

On the whole there's nothing too shocking here, just an overall reinforcing of what is already known about this crossover. It's the final chapter to Messiah Complex, it will bring Hope and Cable back into the present, and it will have Bastion as the main enemy. In earlier interviews it was revealed by Matt Fraction that someone big was going to die. There weren't any further hints here, but it appears the sentiment seems to be leaning towards someone like Nightcrawler, Beast, Pixie, or potentially Angel. There were some notable quotes.

Matt Fraction: Yeah. This is the bookend to [Messiah Complex]. But it's the X-Men. Nothing is ever wrapped up in a tidy little package. But you will know who Hope is. You will know what she is capable of. You will have a sense of what she is going to be capable of. This is the end of all the questions that have been asked since [Messiah Complex]. Well...almost. [Laughs] It answers the questions, but asks new ones that propel us into the future.

Chris Yost: Bastion is a very committed villain. He's got a goal and he's never going to stop. He will never stop no matter what. He is the kind of guy who crosses his t's and dots his i's. Anything he does is going to be very extreme and very well thought out and thorough. The X-Men have no idea what's coming for them.

Mike Carey: I would see [Hope] as being ambivalent about a lot of things. She's met a number of the mutants from our time now in the events of Messiah War and she's curious about that. She's curious about the time that she's come from and she knows that it's assumed by everybody around her that she'll go back there. I think she wants to do that, but she's also afraid. The burden she carries is an enormous one and she's a bit uncertain of her ability to carry it. Particularly since there is still this question mark about what she can do.

Zeb Wells: Well, Cyclops honestly believes that Hope is the future of mutantkind, where her living makes the difference between mutantkind surviving and mutantkind dying. So, as soon as Hope shows up, any danger that she finds herself in is going to be met with a huge reaction from Cyclops. Basically, an attack on Hope would be considered an attack on mutantkind. So, he is going to throw everything he possibly can to making sure Hope is safe and that she is in a place where she can be protected.

Nick Lowe: Our big instruction when Axel Alonso came in as our group editor was to simplify the line in a lot of ways and make it that each book has a pretty distinctive identity and each one has a mission statement you can identity. That's still going to be it-maintaining these "simple mission statement books"-but on the other end of it, what we're pushing back is to the core X-Men "hated and feared" and the differences between people and what makes you special. But we've been in a really dark tunnel in a way ever since "no more mutants." It's been a really dark time with no real hope for the future. Like Cyclops, in editorial we'd like to go beyond that dread of extinction.

Axel Alonso: Everything hinges on Hope. Back in Messiah Complex, Cyclops, acting on nothing more than faith, allowed Cable to jump with this girl into the time stream with no plan other than "bring her back when she's ready and when it's safe." Since that time, he has had to live with that decision and ponder everything, from the mortality of the mutant species to choices he had to make to ensure survival. Understand that he's been operating on nothing more than faith. There's no proof that Hope means anything to mutants. And as any reader of the books knows, there's more than a faint flicker of danger. Red hair, green eyes. Say no more. Really, the overarching theme of the X-Men for the last couple of years has been faith. What do they believe in? What do they stand for? And at the center of that storm has been Cyclops. If you've been reading CABLE, you know that two heroes, Bishop and Cable, have two very different ideas of who Hope is and what she means for the mutant race. For Cable, she's salvation. For Bishop, she's destruction. Maybe both are true. That's what Cyclops has to ponder and what readers have to ponder when we bring her back. By the end of Second Coming, readers will fully understand who Hope is and what she means for mutants.

So what can we draw from this? First off, it looks as though they'll finally revisit the early scenes in Messiah Complex where Hope was born. There has been a lot of mystery surrounding the birth, but there haven't been any answers. As for Hope herself, it seems they're playing up the overall uncertainty in her character. She is being billed as either a savior or destroyer (sound familiar?). Who and what she is appears to be more complex than just some Deus Ex Machina that's going to undo M-Day. Also, the red hair and green eyes comment once again finds is way with Alonso, which again hints at Jean Grey. However, there has been next to no mention of her. But considering the Phoenix hints, the appearance, and having a destructive/creative nature it's pretty damn hard to ignore. All indications are that Hope is going to be yet another Jean-lite, one who looks and acts like Jean Grey but isn't Jean Grey. Like Rachel Summers without the alternate universe mess. This once again feels like Marvel trying to have their cake and eat it too, wanting to bring Jean's star power back without disrupting their precious new version of Cyclops and Emma Frost. It would be a great story if it wasn't so damn blatant. If Hope looked nothing like Jean Grey, this would not be an issue. There are any number of ways they could have drawn her, but they gave her a look that was just like Jean. Could the subtext be any clearer?

In addition it appears that the end of Second Coming will mark yet another transition period for the X-men. The team may once again get reshuffled like they did after Messiah Complex and House of M. And for once it may actually end without so much doom and gloom, which seems to be a major theme of every crossover since 2000. It seems all events either have to end with a funeral or a massive demoralizing. It's as if the only way the stories can be interesting is if they are downers. Like people want to read a book that makes them depressed? If Second Coming ends in a way that doesn't require a fresh prescription of Prozac, I'll be content. You have a character in this story named Hope. Shouldn't it at least be hopeful?

March 31st is set to be the beginning. The aftermath begins in July. From the looks of it, Second Coming will set the stage for the next decade of X-comics. The question remains will the decade erupt with awesomeness or fizzle with all that which is lame?