Wolverine and the X-men #3 PREVIEW - Don't Piss Off Storm

There are a certain handful of people I would never piss off in any circumstances. Dick Cheney, my urologist, and my parole officer are very high on that list. But if I lived in the Marvel universe, that list would have to be a lot longer. Even at my most drunk, I would never willingly piss off the likes of Thor, Wolverine, and Emma Frost. Contrary to what I claim about my intoxication skills, I do have limits. But there’s one character in particular that I would put above even those three and her name is Ororo Munroe.

There’s a damn good reason why Storm is one of the most popular X-men of all time and the most beloved. She’s not just caring and compassionate on a level that even the Dali Lama would find impressive. She’s tougher than an entire squad of Navy SEALS and she’ll take on gods, monsters, and cosmic forces without a microsecond of hesitation. That and she can direct a hundred bolts of lightning into an area smaller than Rick Santorum’s asshole, but I consider her power only secondary to her badassery. She has to be badass on a pretty obscene level to be sleeping with Wolverine and working as headmistress in a school of teenage mutants. And that job just got way fucking harder in the pages of Jason Lator’s Wolverine and the X-men.

For reasons that still aren’t fully explained, Wolverine let the rest of the Jean Grey Institute staff take a little vacation. That alone gave Storm enough reasons to get a Xanax prescription and bar Wolverine from ever seeing her naked again. Then the Phoenix Corporation had to come along, push the ever volatile “Jean Grey” button, and abduct Kid Omega. Storm and Wolverine, who are particularly prone to maiming anyone who dares push the “Jean Grey” button, go after them to save Kid Omega. They arrive only to get mind-fucked by a guy who looks like a cross between Shaq and a sumo wrestler. He also happens to be a powerful telepath and in a preview released by Newsarama, he goes about demonstrating that power against Storm. He might have been safer doing a sobriety test while walking a tight-rope over an active volcano.

Newsarama: Wolverine and the X-men #3 Preview

WOLVERINE & THE X-MEN #3
JASON LATOUR (W) • MAHMUD ASRAR (A/C)
Artist Variant by Jorge Molina
WHO IS THE PHOENIX CORPORATION?

• The question of the year continues - - with another one: what do they want with Quentin Quire?

• Latour and Asrar bring you a breaking point in the lives of Logan and Ororo Munro!

32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

I hope I don’t need to explain to anyone why Mr. Sumo Telepath is totally fucked. The preview shows nicely that Storm is capable of great compassion and understanding. But piss her off, and she will show no mercy. This issue is being billed as Storm and Wolverine reaching their breaking point. Well it’s already well documented how pissed off Wolverine gets when he reaches his breaking point. But he only has claws and metal bones to work with. Storm has made Mother Nature her bitch and she’s not afraid to unleash her. That’s why she’s the last person anyone should piss off in the Marvel universe.

Beyond Storm losing her temper, this new status quo for the Jean Grey Institute is still in need of refinement. There are still a lot of uncertainties surrounding Storm’s relationship with Wolverine. We’ve seen in Wolverine’s new solo series that he’s rubbing shoulders with another team and another woman. Does this shit happen before, after, or during this story? It’s hard to tell and badly in need of clarification. I can’t stand comics that require too much sobriety and I would rather this one not become one of them. I’ll be content for just a few concise comments on the issue while the rest is dedicated to Storm unleashing super typhoon of kick-ass. Nuff said!