Thor's Identity REVEALED! **SPOILERS***

Every now and then, I come across a spoiler I just have to share. And this is one that I think definitely warrants an extra bottle of whiskey, but for a good reason. Tomorrow, Thor #8 comes out and this issue promises to reveal the identity of the new lady Thor. But since we live in the internet age where a dick pick from any public figure becomes a scandal within an hour, it's impossible to keep that shit a secret. So of course it's going to leak.

Now I could go on a number of drunken rants about the new Thor, but it wouldn't be a very long one. This is one of those rare occasions where I really can't get drunk enough to give Marvel shit for this. They didn't do what they did with Spider-Man in Ultimate. They didn't kill off the original and replace him. Instead, Marvel kept the original Thor alive and had him develop on a different path. That left the title of Thor free for someone else to develop. That means this new Thor could grow on her own and establish herself on her own path. What a concept, right? Well now we know who she is and fuck, they got it right.

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That's right! It's Jane Foster! That's right, the woman that Natalie Portman made smart, sexy, and awesome is the new Thor. Whoever can get drunk enough to bitch about this is probably in need of a liver transplant by the time I finish typing this sentence. It couldn't be a more worthy selection. For the past few years now, Jane Foster has become somewhat of an afterthought in Odinson's story. She's been sick with cancer and hasn't been able to do much. As Thor, she can make the most of the time she has left. How can that be anything other than awesome? It's like the ultimate Make a Wish Foundation request. Before cancer claims her, she's going to kick as much ass as she can. That by default makes her more worthy to wield Thor's hammer than anyone.

It also opens the door to another tantalizing possibility. Thor 3 is still in the works. Could this be a prelude? Could this mean that Jane Foster might don the hammer and we'll get to see Natalie Portman decked out as Thor? I can dream and so can my penis. I'm hoping the penises of all those involved in Thor 3 are on the same page. There may be many butt-hurt fans still bitching about what happened with Black Widow in Avengers: Age of Ultron. But all will be forgiven if they can make Natalie Portman the new Thor. Nuff said!