Civil War II: X-men #1 PREVIEW!

It's been a while since I singled out a preview on this blog. To be honest, I put a lot less stock in previews these days because they tend to be shitty teasers that rarely reflect the quality of a book. That's not just a problem Marvel has either. Pretty much all comics do that and like a trailer that gives away all the good parts, I think their value is overstated.

That said, some are worth staying sober for. We all know by now that Marvel has developed a new fetish for fucking over the X-men at every turn. Civil War II will likely contribute to that effort. At the rate it's going, the entire mutant race will need an extra asshole to accommodate the screw-job they'll endure. On the other side, I'm pretty sure the Inhumans will come off so glowing that they could all take a shit in a portopotty and make it smell like a chocolate factory. X-men fans just have to reside themselves to the fact that this is the new normal. Marvel will continue to fuck the X-men with an Inhuman-powered dick until Fox cough's up the rights some time in 2093.

So we can either whine about it or just sit back and enjoy the shit storm for what it is. Thankfully, the X-men comics still have writers like Cullen Bunn, Tom Taylor, and Jeff Lemire. They still seem to be putting a concerted effort to making the X-men comics awesome, despite Marvel's best efforts. While I'm sure it infuriate the lawyers, they do have a Civil War II tie-in book. It's coming out next week and I'm sure the entire mutant race will want to lube up their assholes accordingly.

CBR: Civil War II: X-men #1 Preview

So there are rich assholes in every group that will try to exploit the shit out of a bad situation. That makes sense. Being a mutant doesn't make anyone immune to being a total cunt. Looking at you, Hope fucking Summers.

Beyond rich assholes jerking off while other mutants suffer because of the Inhuman fart cloud, Magneto is once again showing that he can get shit done in ways that no pacifist can hope to match. It's a huge theme of Cullen Bunn's run on Uncanny X-men. I can only hope he'll take it way too fucking far here in Civil War II. That brings out the best in Magneto and the X-men as a whole. So even though I know this is going to end in a shit storm for mutants, I'm still going to grab a case of beer, sit back, and enjoy the show as best I can with an unsober mind. Nuff said!