Amazon To Acquire ComiXology - NOT An April Fool's Joke

I admit I don't know much about economics and business. The most experience I ever had with business was selling my ex-girlfriend's birth control pills to Catholic school girls. But even I know when something qualifies as big business news. I damn near shit myself when I heard Disney was buying Marvel. I didn't think that shit could ever be topped. And to date it still hasn't. But a late breaking story came pretty damn close. This is NOT an April Fool's Day joke, people. Comixology is being bought by Amazon.com.

CBR: Amazong to Acquire ComiXology

Newsarama: Amazon To Acquire COMIXOLOGY

I don't think any comic book fan needs to explain why they love Comixology. This is to comics what what the iPod was to music. It finally created a viable digital platform for comics and after taking way too fucking long, all the major publishers began releasing day-and-date digital comics. For me, it was like building my own comic book store in my bedroom next to my TV and my weed stash. It was a beautiful thing. It still gives me a boner whenever I remind myself that I can now buy a comic while walking around in my underwear and not worry about being arrested. But now, it's going to be yet another bitch in Amazon's growing harem of services. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Amazon.com is pretty fucking awesome too. They also allow me to buy shit in my underwear without having to worry about getting arrested. But now Amazon and Comixology are joining forces? What sort of corporate shit storm could they create? Will it be awesome? Will this be the next New Coke? I have no fucking clue. But it's happening. The CEO of Comixology already released this.

Letter From the CEO of Comixology

Dearest readers,

I’m very excited to share some big news with you: we have just announced that comiXology is becoming a part of the Amazon family!

More than seven years ago, John D. Roberts, Peter Jaffe, and I set out to connect people to comic books and graphic novels they’d love, and we’re so excited about how far we’ve come. Thanks to the books we are privileged to present and the platform we created, there’s access to more diverse content than ever, allowing all readers to enter the amazing world of comics.

We have long had the goal of making every person on the planet a comics fan. With Amazon’s help, this crazy goal is more possible than ever before. With the Kindle, Amazon has shown a passion for reinventing the reading experience, just like comiXology has shown for comics and graphic novels.

ComiXology will retain its identity as an Amazon subsidiary and we’re not anywhere near done “taking comics further.” We are confident that – with Amazon by our side, who shares our desire for innovation and a relentless focus on customers – we’ve only just begun.

We wouldn’t be here without you, our customers. Thank you. The best is yet to come!

David Steinberger
Co-founder and CEO

My New Ipad and the Infinite Future

Every so often, a major shift in the industry and society comes along that gets young people more excited than free samples at a pot dispensary and old people more anxious than the thought of a black president (okay, bad example). I don't consider myself a real tech-head. The top-of-the-line technology for me is anything that allows me to view porn more efficiently. For that reason, I look at the internet and modern computers in the same way Moses looked at the Ten Commandments. It's the technology of the future and the present. It permeates are lives, so much so that it's damn near impossible to escape it. For some conspiracy theorists and doomsayers, that's more than enough reason to carve a survival cave into the mountains and audition for spots in the next episode of National Geographic's Doomsday Preppers. For me, I say bring on the new world order! I'm ready to be a slave to the new system!

This past week, a good deal of hype and a fair amount of pants shitting surrounded the launch of Avengers vs. X-men (and NOT another prelude). I reviewed the comic and I gave it high marks and not because I was high myself. It was a genuinely quality comic that began what promises to be another major comic book blockbuster event. But we've had those events before. They've come, gone, trilled, and disappointed fans for decades. But Avengers vs. X-men brought something new to the table, something I didn't mention in my review because I wasn't drunk enough to include it. That, and I wanted to give it its own post so we can fully appreciate what it entails. It's called Infinite Comics and despite a name that would make most anal-retentive physicists cringe (think Sheldon Cooper of the Big Bang Theory), it is a new format for comics that has the potential to be infinitely awesome.

It came in conjunction with Avengers vs. X-men. Marvel has been building this up as sort of a new way of presenting comics, like the DVD extras for a movie but with less snooty producers pretending as though explosions are some sort of artistic vision and more actual story that ties into the main plot. I admit I didn't know what the hell these things would entail when I heard about it. I kept thinking, "Infinite comics? What the fuck is that and who the fuck drank the last bottle of vodka?!" Marvel was somewhat vague on the details, but once I bought it through Comixology the full awesome of Infinite Comics hit me like a shot of peyote. Only instead of seeing talking cats and dancing bears, I saw the next level of comic book awesome.

The Phoenix. Destroying the print industry and giving rise to digital awesome. Epic win!

Infinite Comics, in its simplest form, is a comic made specifically for the digital format and not the printed page. That may not sound like much, but considering how the very nature of comic books haven't changed since the fucking Great Depression it's an overhaul that's more overdue Wesley Snipe's back taxes. Printing comics on pages is charming and simple, but let's face in the internet age where people want to carry all that content in their pockets with their iphones and condoms that's just not as appealing anymore. Infinite comics uses a richer kind of artwork that doesn't involve just scanning shit like anyone with a decent scanner and citizenship of a country with shitty copyright laws can do. It makes for smoother transitions, animation-like progression, and a unique sort of flow for the story that you just can't put on a page. I really can't describe it without a few hits of LSD, but it's something that's new and has the potential to be exceedingly awesome.

The first Infinite Comics was fairly short, but it did tell an important part of the Avengers vs. X-men story. In the first issue, Nova came crashing to Earth to warn the Avengers that the Phoenix was coming like Peter North in a three-way. The Infinite Comics story added more depth and detail to this journey. It showed him flying through space, racing towards the Earth with the Phoenix following close behind like a stalker ex-girlfriend armed with a video camera and crazy glue. It was a lot of inner monologue followed by incredible action that felt less like a comic and more like visions from another world unfolding in progressing panels. If there was any flaw in it, it was mostly that the story itself was too damn short. But it's the first of it's kind and it was awesome enough to give the readers so many reasons to hope and so many crazy shit to imagine.

Infinite Comics marks the potential beginning of a new world of comics. Even hardcore fans have to understand that print media is dying faster than the Zimbabwe economy. Even I find it difficult to keep boxes upon boxes of comics stacked in my closet. More often than not, it's just another hiding place for my weed. Almost all my new comics come in digitally. And just this past weekend, I bought myself an ipad. That's right! I'm now the proud owner of one of the best inventions for comics in history.

Okay, third best.

With my new ipad and the format offered by Infinite Comics, there are any number of ways Marvel can develop this platform. They could add sound effects. Imagine reading an Infinite Comic where when Wolverine is about to decapitate Sabretooth (again), you actually hear a 'snikt.' They could add graphics and motions as well without going through the trouble or cost of a motion comic. The first issue made the story feel like more animated. Just think of how much more awesome it could be if real animation could be incorporated.

The possibilities...so awesome.

It's an exciting time to be a comic book fan. Marvel has opened the door to a new method of conveying the awesome that comics can present. Just this past year, comics became day-and-date digital. Now something hew has entered the fray. What could it mean for the future? Well if a part-time stoner and drunk like me can imagine such wondrous possibilities, I'm sure the well-paid creative minds at Marvel can come up with something much better. The revolution has begun! I've seen the future and it is infinite. Thank you, Marvel. Now DC, time to get your act together and become the Android to Marvel's Apple! Nuff said.

Marvel's Digital ReEvolution And Why It's Awesome

I will go on record as saying nostalgia sucks. Whenever I hear people bitch and moan about how shit was so much better 10, 20, or 50 years ago I fantasize about them being crushed by a falling satellite. A part of me wants to say "Oh really? Well if the past was so fucking good why don't you ditch the internet, drive an old ass car, and watch only reruns on a 15-year-old non-HD TV?" Then the valium kicks in and I'm able to restrain myself.

Now don't get me wrong. I have a certain fondness for previous eras in comics. I loved the 90s despite all the gimmicks. I loved the 80s despite the shitty hair styles because comics like X-Factor, Spider-Man, Watchmen, and Return of the Dark Knight were great moments in the history of comics. But as the word implies, history is in the past. You can either bitch about it or move forward. And just this past weekend, Marvel showed off how they envision moving forward and sucking as much money from the wallets of fans in the process.

It's called Infinite Comics and according to CBR it's Marvel's new canvas for telling stories using their vast arsenal of big-breasted female heroes and the men in testicle augmenting spandex that love them. For the first time since someone got shit faced and thought it would be cool to tell a story using panels of pictures, the big wigs at Marvel got shit faced again and decided to ditch the classic print your shit on paper and send it fans via snail mail. It won't work like a page or some ancient shit like that. It's going to be specifically tailored to new mediums like smart phones, tablet computers, and the internet. In other words, it's using the futuristic tech that we've come to rely on and most likely will help Apple's ongoing plans for world domination.

It'll start with Marvel's big upcoming blockbuster, Avengers vs. X-men. The first of these all-digital stories will take place in the early parts of the event. From there, it'll presumably expand to whichever Marvel writer gets the editors drunk enough so they agree to the stories they want to tell. Gone will be the days of fanboys hanging out in comic shops, talking and/or complaining about the latest issue. They'll just be able to park their asses in a Starbucks, their parent's basement, or on the roof of their house so they can leech off their neighbor's wi-fi and download their dose of Marvel brand awesome on their tablet. Is it a brilliant, bold move? Well considering the current trends in technology and considering that Marvel and DC didn't embrace day-and-date digital comics until last year, I'd say it's only as brilliant as it is overdue.

I don't think my comic buying habits are the same as the vast majority of the comic market in the same way I know my drinking habits are only comparable with Irish dock workers. But day-and-date digital comics through companies like Comixology have become my primary method of buying comics. I don't buy single issues anymore. I only buy the graphic novels after they come out. I find that shit's easier to handle and store while also saving me the trouble of buying those big ass boxes that have been cluttering up my basement since the first George Bush was in office. Don't get me wrong. I love those books almost as much as I love spicy chicken wings and football. But they're cumbersome and digital comics have allowed me to carry an entire fucking library in the palm of my hand thanks to a phone. It's the kind of shit that makes me feel like I'm living in the age of Star Trek minus the hot alien chicks.

As such, I plan on being first in line to check out this new digital push. I also plan on following DC Comics closely to see if they do something in response because let's face it, like any business comics is a big dick-measuring contest. If Marvel finds a way to stretch theirs out a few inches longer, DC will look for a way to do it as well. Digital comics have the potential to tell different kinds of stories and distribute them in a different kind of way. Since an entire generation is growing up expecting all their shit to be beamed to their smart phones, it's best to get ahead of the curve to avoid having to hear that generation bitch more than they already will when they find out what our generation did to the environment, the Middle East, and Mexico.

So what can we make of this? What does this mean for the industry? Well I know my drunken opinion means precisely dick, but I'm all for it. I'm definitely for any means that would make comics easier to access through the internet or these fancy new devices that companies like Apple are throwing at us. I get that there will always be a place for paper books, but going back to what I said about nostalgia I think it's bullshit to not embrace future trends. Let's face it, the future isn't sheets of crushed up trees. The future is tablet computers and smart phones. Hell, we live in an age where a kid will sell his fucking kidney for an ipad. Whereas Marvel took their sweet fucking time bringing day and date digital comics to their library, they're at least trying to be proactive here with this new Infinite label.

I think this shit has real potential. Imagine a world where the stories you love are streamed effortlessly into your computer, phone, or tablet. Imagine a world where you don't have to stuff book cases with old, flimsy paper books that aren't even thick enough to hallow out so you can hide your weed inside them. I want to be part of that world! I want this new medium to expand and succeed! I hope Marvel finds more creative ways of making that $2.99 or $3.99 they charge for each issue more worth-while. Perhaps one day we can get a new Ultimate-style series that's completely online. Perhaps it'll be a series where we the fans can write in our comments right into the book or maybe even make our own thought bubbles that have characters like Wolverine commenting on how great Miss Marvel's ass looks.

I'm sure this is all just prelude. Maybe in the not-so-distant future there will be a day when companies like Marvel and DC can directly beam their stories right into the cortex of our brains so we can ditch the expensive electronic tablets in the first place. I'm pretty sure someone at Apple is saying to Tim Cook "I'm working as fast as I can, damn it!" But until that day comes, companies like Marvel are wise to take advantage of current tech trends the same way China takes advantage of cheap labor. We've got a wired world where paper just ain't gonna cut it anymore and while I have a feeling there will always be a place for books even in comics, I'm all for the digital revolution! So whatever comes of Marvel Infinite Comics or the digital ReEvolution, I'm not afraid to expose how old my ass is getting when I say beam me up, Quesada! Excelsior!