Justice In Its Totality: Justice League #1

The following is my review of Justice League #1, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

In a perfect world, justice isn't a fluid concept. What's heroic today still holds up a hundred centuries from now. In that world, teams like the Justice League don't need to agonize over too many decisions. Those tried and true standards answer all those hard for them. Even during the family friendly golden age of comics, though, the imperfections of the real and fictional world keep finding their way into the story.

Between the events of DC: Rebirth #1 and Dark Knights: Metal, the Justice League undergoes plenty of upheaval, both as a team and among its individual members. Timelines get re-written, marriage proposals occur, and secrets of the DC universe reveal themselves in ways that would make any hero's decisions much harder to render. It can get confusing, at times, but it still reflects the evolution of the Justice League and the nature of justice itself.

For many of these complications, Scott Snyder is both an architect and a catalyst. The events of Dark Knights: Metal don't just throw in another upheaval, which the DC universe faces every other week. It requires the Justice League to regroup and reorganize themselves. A universe full of talking gorillas and homicidal clowns is chaotic enough. Even demigods, aliens, and billionaire playboys need to adapt along the way. In Justice League #1, Snyder carries the team into a new era of chaos.

From the very beginning, the scope and scale of the chaos is on a level that requires the full strength of DC's heavy hitters. There's no subtlety or steady build-up. The crisis is already at a level that involves Lex Luthor, Vandal Savage, and a hole in the Source Wall. The situation couldn't be more dire without an army of Darkseid clones invading every planet in the universe.

For any one individual hero, including Superman on his best day, it's a level of over-the-top action that is hard to keep up with. For the Justice League, though, it works perfectly. It starts out as an elaborate, albeit generic plot by Vandal Savage involving a race of subterranean creatures called Neoanderthals. While even a simple plan by Savage usually calls for the collective firepower of the League, this conflict is only a precursor to a much greater threat.

It's not enough to just throw powerful villains and their nefarious plots at DC's most powerful heroes. Snyder brings in forces that don't necessarily have a face, an identity, or an evil laugh. It's not just a threat to law, order, and justice. It has the potential to undercut the very nature of the DC Universe itself. The Martian Manhunter calls it the Totality. It's somewhat esoteric, but it presents the Justice League with a unique threat. Conversely, it presents someone like Lex Luthor with an opportunity.

The challenge in any era of Justice League, going back to the pre-Crisis era, is establishing a predicament that requires more than a simple team-up or crossover. Superman can team up with Batman and Wonder Woman can team up with Aquaman ever other week to take on a unique threat that may just be too tedious to handle individually. The primary difference between a casual crossover story and a full-fledged superhero team involves forging a collective identity.

Throughout the history of the DC Universe, the League assembles when there's more than basic justice at stake. Whether it involves infinite Earths or a full-scale invasion from Apokolips, there's a point where heroes can't just be heroes. They have to come together to keep the world, the universe, and every notion of justice intact. Snyder channels some of that Crisis spirit, but stops short of breaking the timeline again.

In the case of Justice League #1, it's not the threat posed by Vandal Savage that's the main catalyst. It's the hole in the Source Wall that pushes the League into a difficult spot. That hole, another byproduct of Dark Knights: Metal no less, creates something the Martian Manhunter calls the Totality. It's somewhat esoteric, but it still carries that ominous aura that reflects DC's commitment to never-ending world-building.

Parts of the Totality reference other aspects of DC lore, but the underlying concept is simple. The fundamental nature of the DC universe is changing and Lex Luthor knows about it. As such, he and others like him are sure to exploit it. Justice, once again, isn't a perfectly consistent concept that always reverts back to a particular form like Superman's iconic red underwear. Given enough time and stress, larger forces will disrupt it.

That theme and its implications are nicely documented through the powerful mind of the Martian Manhunter, who acts as a messenger to the rest of the League. They're not really in a position to do much about the Totality, which for a team as powerful as the Justice League is really telling. They're basically left to brace themselves while Lex Luthor and Vandal Savage get ready to make the most of it.

It's here where the strengths and weaknesses of Justice League #1 really show. In terms of strength, it builds seamlessly from recent upheavals in the DC universe. Even for those not familiar with events like Dark Knights: Metal, the narrative never comes off as too sudden or contrived. As for weaknesses, though, the overall nature of the Totality falls flat and that keeps the story from having a major impact.

Even with a basis in the Source Wall, the Totality comes off as this impersonal chaos that isn't contingent on Lex Luthor's plans or Darkseid's ruthlessness. It just feels like one big disruption within the overall DC universe, one meant to undermine the Justice League's efforts in a way they can't stop. Too much time is spent just trying to make sense of it, which renders the battle against Vandal Savage as somewhat of an afterthought. Seeing as how that battle literally broke the surface of the Earth, that almost seems unjust.

Justice League #1 still does more than enough to carry the League into a new era. Snyder's usage of high-level threats and evolving challenges give the story an appropriate scope. It doesn't entirely fit together just yet, but the pieces are there and Snyder gives himself plenty to work with. The nature of justice and the DC universe may change in accord with every Crisis-level event, but so long as the spirit of the team remains intact, justice still finds a way to prevail.

Final Score: 6 out of 10

Corruptive Influence: Justice League Dark #23

The following is my review of Justice League Dark #23, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Abstract concepts like evil are difficult to quantify in the same way that it’s difficult to quantify the appeal of boy bands. There’s nothing to count, measure, or touch. It’s like trying to determine the flavor of water in that the concept itself has no depth. But it’s a concept that is often at the center of many famous stories, going all the way back to the days of Greek mythology. In that sense, it’s fitting that the primary source of evil in DC’s latest event, “Trinity War”, has been Pandora’s Box.

Even in the DC universe, evil that takes form and substance is difficult to deal with. I’m sure Superman would much rather be punching Brainiac’s head off than having to deal with being poisoned by some ancient box that was literally shoved into his hands. Even for Superman, a tangible object imbued with pure evil is too much to handle. In that is a theme that has played out in many different ways throughout “Trinity War”. And as Justice League Dark #23 demonstrates, such an object is too much for even the entire Justice League to handle.

Like foolish hikers that chase after a bear that just mauled a herd of deer, the Justice League and the Justice League of America fight over possession of Pandora’s Box. And not surprisingly, they had no better luck at avoiding the influence of the box than Superman. It corrupts the likes of Wonder Woman and Shazam, two heroes that, like Superman, are supposed to be personifications of all things good. Yet this object that isn’t much bigger than a laptop corrupts Earth’s most powerful heroes to the point where a good portion of the comic consists of them fighting over possession of the box. It’s like Lord of the Rings if Hobbits had superpowers.

But “Trinity War” hasn’t just focused on ancient artifacts that can corrupt angels and demigods. Other sources of corruption have emerged within each respective league. Amanda Waller and the Justice League of America may not be as evil as a sinister ancient box forged by actual gods, but the corruption behind their heroics is every bit as damaging. Now Waller’s intentions have been exposed for both leagues. She organized the JLA to effectively counter the Justice League, right down to picking heroes with certain abilities that would match or neutralize certain members in the opposing league. She even had Firestorm learn to make kryptonite with his powers. What makes it all the more distressing to both leagues is that she did this in secret. And the JLA doesn’t take too kindly to this revelation. I doubt anyone would blame Green Arrow for threatening to shoot Waller with one of his non-boxing glove arrow.

This kind of hidden agenda is something that is only possible under the guise of corruption. However, it’s not the same corruption caused by Pandora’s Box. The entire conflict behind “Trinity War” has been fueled by suspicion and paranoia about how supremely powerful beings such as Superman can be controlled if they ever became corrupt. It’s a very real and logical concern for those who aren’t more powerful than a locomotive. And to an extent, Amanda Waller was vindicated at the beginning of “Trinity War” when Superman was corrupted by Pandora’s Box. Like Dean Rooney in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, she was right in the grand scheme of things.

Waller may claim ignorance in the face of hostility from both the Justice League and the JLA, but on some levels she has to know that she was right. Superman was corrupted and because of that, he may have killed someone. Even though it was revealed several issues ago that there is another sinister force working behind the scenes, it is still a clear manifestation of Waller’s concerns. If there was no plan in place to deal with a corrupted Superman, who or what could possibly stop him? He’s Superman and his power is nothing short of god-like. Yet he’s not a god in that he can be corrupted, as Pandora’s Box has shown. So why shouldn’t there be a plan in place to deal with him and his team of demigods?

While this recourse makes intuitive sense, it too is prone to corruption. And that’s exactly how it plays out in this issue. Each Justice League team fights for control of Pandora’s Box, getting corrupted along the way, until they eventually reach Madam Xanadu, who was imprisoned before she could uncover the secrets of Pandora’s Box. She is the one that finally reveals the source behind the power of the box. This also leads to the reveal of the sinister figure who has been manipulating all three leagues from the beginning. And at this point, he doesn’t even need to hide anymore. The damage has been done and he didn’t even have to do that much. Unlike Lex Luthor, this nameless figure works smart and lets heroes destroy themselves so he doesn’t have to. It may seem like a lazier form of evil, but there’s no denying its effectiveness.

This is the most telling message of “Trinity War”. In attempting to create a balance of power between the Justice League and the JLA, both sides became corrupted. Paranoia and fear created the circumstances under which Pandora’s Box could be so effective. It didn’t have to be an object of pure evil. It just needed to give these heroes the right nudge to start attacking one another. In doing so, the corruption ensured that they couldn’t figure out whom or what they were dealing with until it was too late.

Justice League Dark #23 offers a painful lesson about what happens when corruption blinds otherwise good people. Even superheroes with all their power end up playing into the hands of a skilled manipulator. The scale of the conflict and the potential for it to get worse help this issue up the stakes in “Trinity War” to extreme levels. It also shows that while kryptonite is Superman’s greatest weakness, corruption is the greatest weakness to every hero, no matter how powerful they are

Final Score: 9 out of 10

Brightest Day #24 - A Saga of Awesome Ends

Well it's finally here. A part of me has been excited and another part of me has been sad, so much so that my brain has split in two on numerous occasions. That is the power of Brightest Day. This amazing series from DC that has been unfolding over the course of a year has done the impossible with the same swagger that Donald Trump wears a hair piece, minus the massive douche-bag factor. I've reviewed every issue. I'm going to be honest. I didn't expect the series to ever come close to Blackest Night. I was drunk off a few shots of battery acid and vodka, assuming that I would follow the series for a while and then move on. I never expected it to hold my interest like a vice on my balls for the entire run, but it did. So here I am at the very end, ready to give my full assessment of the Brightest Day series. Given how many times it's blown my mind, I'm pretty sure I've brained my damage beyond repair.

Now I know I've been praising this series like it was written with the hairs of Natalie Portman's pussy. I've gone overboard many a times describing how the pages of this book couldn't be better if DC laced them with cocaine. Given how long I've followed this series, I understand I may be riding the bandwagon in a NASCAR race and expecting Jeff Gordon to be at the wheel. That doesn't mean I won't try to be objective here. I understand I can't let my love of the previous books completely influence how I review this book. But as with all my reviews, I try to be honest while not sounding more drunk than I already am. I've got some Jack Daniels in me so I should be okay.

Brightest Day #24 is the culmination of all the plots that have been coming together in the past few issues. Boston Brand has gone on a bit of a killing spree. Or more accurately, the White Lantern hijacked him and used him the same way OJ Simpson uses kitchen knives. In some very shocking moments, the lantern seemingly killed Hawkman, Hawkgirl, Aquaman, Martin Manhunter, and Firestorm. It seemed like a real dick move after some of them came back in Blackest Night. Then in the last issue, we found out that the White Lantern really wasn't such a massive dick cheese after all. It brought those slain heroes back, but made them more awesome. They took the form of elemental forces so they could take on this dark, evil creature that was giving Mother Nature some serious PMS. Then the final piece of the puzzle came into place. The new guardian of the White Lantern arose and it was one of DC's latest acquisitions, Swamp Thing.

It was a shocking yet novel move. I admit I don't know much about Swamp Thing other than he's from the swamp and he's a thing. However, I do know that DC recently acquired his rights as DC feasted on the slain entrails of Vertigo. If ever there was a stage for Swamp Thing to become awesome, it's Brightest Day. This issue starts with Swamp Thing taking on it's new Brightest Day uniform and showing what it can do. Even if it has a name that's as generic as vanilla ice cream, it can still kick ass.

For readers too lazy to use Wikipedia, the story of Swamp Thing and Alec Holland is explained by the White Lantern. What makes it a big deal is that at the moment, Swamp Thing doesn't think it's Alec Holland. It thinks it's Nekron. You know? That big evil super-douche who was behind the whole Blackest Night ordeal? And now he has control over a force that allows him to basically turn the planet into his own personal prison bitch. So yeah, it's pretty bad. It's up to Hawkman, Hawkgirl, Aquaman, Firestorm, and Martian Manhunter to slow him down so the White Lantern can carry out it's plan, which for once doesn't make it look like such a dick.

With Boston Brand wearing his White Lantern duds, he's supposed to bring Alec Holland back to life. That's way easier said than done because Swamp Thing/Nekron is having too much fun watching the Earth fuck itself. So Boston, Hawk, and Dove have to protect Alec until he gets over the whole being dead thing. Fucking things up even more is Digger, who was lead to the forest in the previous issue. Whether by poor impulse control or being a massive douche (or the White Lantern telling him), he throws his boomerang at Dove.

Since Boston has grown so close to Dove (and certain parts of her anatomy), he does what any badass guy with a boner for hot girls would do. He jumps in front of the boomerang and saves Dove. The price of saving a hot woman is his life, which he only got back at the end of Blackest Night. He shares a nice moment with Dove, but the White Lantern makes it clear. There's no coming back this time. He learned to appreciate life again and now the only appreciation he'll get will be from worms when they shit out his rotting flesh.

As Deadman dies (again), the white ring leaves his hand and goes for Alec Holland. He goes from being an unsightly corpse to looking as healthy as a man who just took a really good shit. He's obviously confused as hell. Being dead will do that to a man. Then the White Ring does the rest. It helps him become Swamp Thing again, telling him that the elementals of the Earth have been corrupted and the only way to uncorrupt them is to beat the everloving shit out of the Swamp Thing/Nekron hybrid.

What follows next is a fight so massive it covers several pages. This isn't one of those glossed over battles that just has two superpowered monsters slap each other a few times before one of them gives some lame-ass egotistical speech before falling to their knees faster than a hooker at Charlie Sheen's house. This is a battle between two elemental Swamp Things. One is Nekron's remains trying like MC Hammer to make a comeback. The other is Alec Holland, finally on a stage where he can be more awesome than he's been in decades. It's such a beautiful sight that you almost want to roll it up and snort cocaine with it.

I won't mince words. The fight is a metric fuck-ton of awesome. At first they seem evenly matched. You can't expect two giant swamp monsters to have much edge over one another. But Alec Holland has more weapons at his disposal in the form of the elementals formed by the other heroes. So suddenly the White Lantern's plan that "killed" them doesn't seem like a dick move. It seems like giving his side the winning edge. It's not like a receiver in football using stick-em to catch or batters in baseball shooting steroids in their asses. It's more like lining boxing gloves with barb wire and channeling his inner Rocky Balboa. With help from the elementals and a renewed sense of awesome, Alec Holland shows that there's only one Swamp Thing. He takes down Nekron in a way so badass that Stallone will likely try to copy it in his next movie.

Swamp Things victory seems like the final blow that will put a stop to all the bullshit that Nekron keeps trying to inflict despite being dead. However, not everybody is thrilled. Boston Brand is dead again. He doesn't get to enjoy seeing Swamp Thing take a nice dump on Nekron's ashes. He basically goes back to being Deadman again, just like he was before Blackest Night. He's understandably pissed, but there is a difference now. As a spirit, he can be seen by Dove. It allows them to share one last moment together and shows that the White Lantern, while it may be a dick at times can be halfway decent when it wants to.

While he gets used to being dead again, the heroes that made up the elementals get a reward for helping Swamp Thing. That means they get to be alive again. So the White Lantern never killed them. He just borrowed them. It's sort of like how Mexican gangs borrow out-of-work Mexican workers and make them work in slaughterhouses for pennies a day. So the White Lantern is still a dick, but at least they got to save the world. I'm pretty sure if it just asked them from the get go, it would have been a lot less messy. But that just wasn't douchy enough.

But there's a problem. One of them is missing. Hawkman is back amongst the living, but Hawkgirl is not. She's gone. This leaves Hawkman understandably pissed. If you recall, he and Hawkgirl were just about to bump uglies in ways that only porno movies can mimic before the White Lantern killed them. Well he's not going to get his chance with her. Swamp Thing says she's gone, but in a bit nicer way. She's still in the form of air, which means the only lover Hawkman will have is a bottle of lube and a sock. It's a sad moment in an otherwise triumphant victory. It adds more emotion into what has already been a pretty damn emotional story.

While Hawkman is lamenting over losing his girl yet again, Swamp Thing does yet another move of badassery. He uses his new connection with nature to heal the Earth better than an aspirin and a cup of coffee. So all over the planet, the damage done by Nekron is healed. So first Swamp Thing beat back another giant swamp monster. Then he healed the whole fucking planet. What have you done with your life today?

So Swamp Thing is back and more badass than ever. It has the White Lantern. It has some new street cred. It gives a nice hippie speech, saying that the world is going to need protection so guys like Nekron don't keep trying to fuck it with their slimy, pollution-filled dick. The White Lantern, douche or no douche, says it's work is done. The planet it safe. Deadman is still dead and pretty pissed. Hawkman still has to get used to the whole life thing without his girlfriend. But Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, and Firestorm are back so there's a lot of positives. It's not a fully happy ending, but it's not a downer either. It strikes the perfect balance, which is like trying to juggle hand grenades on a unicycle. For that, Geoff Johns deserves a freakin' metal and a three way with the last three Maxim cover models.

So the White Lantern is gone. The heroes can get back to their lives, whether they're fucked up or not. Aquaman reunites with Mera. It's not as emotional as their first reunion. There's no big kiss and they don't bump uglies like a couple of squids in heat. I'm assuming Mera is used to that shit by now. But they go for a nice walk on the beach while contemplating the future. J'onn meets up the old woman he met up with early in the series and they share a nice moment. He also removes some huge shard from her head, thus saving her life. Because that's how Martians roll. It's another nice moment that really caps off his story on a high note.

It's not so nice for Hawkman. To say he's pissed is like saying Bill Gates isn't broke. He lost the love of his many lives and he's not happy about it. He's going to need a hell of a lot of therapy as a result. So while the world is safe again, it's about as much consolation as a kick in the balls for him. It's a bit more complicated for Ronnie and Jason. They're still Firestorm and they're still not going to get along anytime soon. It takes a while for a guy to get over someone else killing his girlfriend (albeit while he was Nekron's many prison bitches). If that weren't enough, that warning Professor Stein gave them about them causing another big bang is back to haunt them. Their slap-fight with Anti-Monitor a few issues ago sort of fucked up their chemistry. Jason, having not slept through physics class, says they're going to detonate in 90 days. So all that peace they worked so hard for may go up in another big bang. So their story is not over. It's just getting more fucked up.

Last but not least, we get to see Swamp Thing take on his new role as a guardian. He's in the DC Universe and he's here to stay. So armed with his new powers, Alec Holland does what no politician dare contemplate and makes good on his word. He seeks out those who would do harm to the Earth and gives them the Tony Soprano treatment. And who would be worthy of such a wrath? Lex Luthor? Darkseid? Nope! How about a bunch of rich, corrupt businessman who were behind that oil spill that Aquaman cleaned up earlier in the series? That and they were illegally dumping their shit like drunk with diarrhea. So Swamp Thing tells them to cut that shit out in so many words. For anyone who gets pissed when they see politicians blowing big businessman with enough money for lobbyists, it's a beautiful thing. Environmentalists and hippies will be jerking off to this page for years.

However, it doesn't end there. DC isn't content with just finishing off an awesome story. It has to set the stage for new stories with new characters that they recently acquired from Vertigo. It turns out Swamp Thing isn't the only one joining DC's already lengthy list of characters. One other guy who got picked up is a fella named John Constantine. On the final page of one of DC's most memorable series, he makes his DC debut. It's the end of one thing and the beginning of something new. And it isn't tainted by Keanu Reeves's shitty acting. You couldn't ask for a more complete ending if the book had a built-in blow job toy. If this doesn't get you excited about DC comics again, pull the plug because the coma you're in has no hope.

So there you have it! It's over! Brightest Day is officially done! Excuse me while I pull my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs to the comic gods for ending such an amazing series. It certainly helps that the series ended on a truly awesome note. It didn't just tie up the loose ends from the rest of the series. It set the stage for a new round of stories. They may not be as big as Brightest Day or Blackest Night, but they're still pretty damn exciting. After following all these characters through such a twisted and emotional story, you can't help but be compelled to see where it goes. I'm sure it's part of some master marketing scheme by DC to extract more dollars from my wallet, but I don't mind being fucked like that so long as the fucking is awesome.

There's so much to love about this series. I would need several blogs just to digest it all. Making a broad assessment of this series is difficult, but I'll take a stab at it. It started right from the ashes of Blackest Night and it carried some of those ashes into the story. Using characters that don't always make the cover of top books, Geoff Johns weaved a truly amazing story together for 24 issues. It's amazing considering there are writers out there who can't even finish five issues in a fucking year (looking at YOU Jeph Loeb). To be able to deliver so much rich content on a biweekly basis is more than awesome. It's fucking Herculean. DC pulled out all the stops to make this series as compelling as Blackest Night and they damn well succeeded.

It wasn't perfect the whole way through. There were a few hiccups along the way. There were some in this issue, but they were minor. It's a bit of a drag that Deadman is...well, dead again. It seems like he's back to where he started before Blackest Night, but there were some differences this time. Others could see him and his character underwent many strong developments. So that's bearable. We didn't get a very touching reunion with Mera and Aquaman either, but having already had plenty it's not too distressing. Everything else from the writing, the dialog, the art, and the hints for future stories were top notch. Unless you want to be overly picky about every little thing, you can't call this comic flawed.

Brightest Day #24 was meant to bring an end to the Brightest Day series. Well it succeeded and did so on so many awesome levels. It has been an absolute pleasure following this series and offering my twisted reviews along the way. I think I exhausted all my boob and sex jokes describing how great this series was, but it was all worth it! This final issue gets a perfect 5 out of 5. It's the most satisfying comic series you'll read without reading it on the back of a supermodel's ass. DC comics has stepped up their game in a way that should leave Marvel quivering like a vegan in a slaughterhouse. If you're looking to get into DC comics again, this is a great place to start! Thanks Geoff Johns! Thanks DC! You guys kick every kind of ass! Nuff said.

Brightest Day #23 - Penultimate Awesome

Well after a week of digesting Ultimate X where I my passion for comics was ravaged like a slap of deer at Ted Nugant's house, I'm finally in a week where I don't have to worry about damaging my brain or losing control over my bowels. That's because this week the next issue of Brightest Day came out. That's right, the book that's like a three-way between Scarlett Johannsen and Natalie Portman in your brain is back! Not only is it back, it's the next to last issue! This series has been unfolding for over a year, telling a wide range of stories that cover a number of well-known DC characters like Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, Hawkman, Hawkgirl, and Firestorm. It came out biweekly and was rarely delayed. It's basically the complete antithesis of Ultimate X. Sorry Art Adams, but delays and replacement characters just don't cut it!

Everything has been coming together in the home stretch for Brightest Day. It's actually more akin to the two-minute warning in football because the last issue basically stopped juggling so many different plots and basically zeroed in on the one story that binds them all together. And that story is the White Lantern. As each successive plot has come to a close, the White Lantern has shown up and basically capped it off the same way North Korea caps off alleged treason. Aquaman, the Hawks, and the Martian Manhunter were all seemingly killed by the White Lantern after they finished their respective journey. The guy who has been the unwitting trigger finger of these killings has been Boston Brand, who for much of the book has been trying to get used to the whole being alive thing again. At some point it has to be pretty jarring when he realizes he has to eat, sleep, and take a shit. By that comparison being a corpse is a lot easier. At the same time he's been resisting the White Lantern because it's basically about as cooperative and understanding as an entire stadium of 6-year-olds with ADHD who had their Ritalin swapped out with crystal meth.

Brightest Day began with a mystery. That mystery has been all about the White Lantern. It keeps going on about a new protector the same way Donald Trump keeps going on about how Barack Obama was a Kenyan agent sent to overtake America and kill anybody who had a shitty comb-over. For a while it seemed like that protector was Boston Brand. Then for an issue it seemed to be Batman. At one point it seemed to be someone connected to Aquaman, such as the bastard son of Black Manta who couldn't keep his penis out certain affairs. Well none of these ended up being the protector. The White Lantern essentially took Boston on a trip downtown, but not before driving around Stone Henge and the Great Wall of China first. Now this issue promises (no bullshit for once) to reveal the protector.

It starts off like a monologue from Glenn Beck in that it shows how fucked the world is. Usually, the heroes of the DC Universe have to save the Earth from an outside threat. Well now the tables have turned in that the Earth is lashing out. Like Ned Flanders it had been happily hiding it's rage for years and now it's yelling "This is fuck-diddly up!" So it's unleashing Earthquakes, fires, floods, and Barbara Streisand concerts. It's forced every hero on the planet into overtime, but it leaves you wondering what the fuck are they trying to save now? The planet is off her meds and no one has a shot of ketamin to calm her down.

Boston Brand knows about this. The White Lantern told him that there was a powerful evil within the planet Earth that was basically going to turn it into a homicidal super-douche on par with Kim Jong Ill. The only way to stop it was to find the new protector for the White Lantern. So picking up from the events of the previous issue, Boston confronts Ronnie and Jason as Firestorm. Remember, they're the ones who have the White Lantern. They spent most of the previous issue getting it back from the Anti-monitor and a much lamer corps of the Black Lanterns.

Despite all their efforts, the White Lantern still comes off as a hell of a douche. It basically says it sat by and twiddled whatever it has as thumbs while Professor Stein died. It needed to see Ronnie and Jason witness this death so they would embrace being Firestorm again. It's a dick move, no one argues that. However, the White Lantern is at least trying to justify it's douche-baggery. The planet is having a bad case of PMS and it needs to move this shit along before there's no one left to be an asshole with.

This has led them to the Star City forest, which has major significance in that it's the one place where a pissed off Earth can't trash. The White Lantern does another dick move by not letting anyone else in to escape the carnage, but again it's not just jerking around. It explains to Firestorm that it needs the necessary life forces to defend Earth or stop whatever is fucking her up like a shot of tequila mixed with wood varnish. To add extra motivation for Deadman, the Lantern does what may be yet another dick move. It pulls Dove into this clusterfuck while she and Hawk are trying to protect people from the world they've so often protected. Confused? I think mindfucking has always been one of DC's most stringent policies.

Keep in mind, Dove is the girl Boston was banging before the White Lantern made him it's unwitting trigger-man. Now it's not clear why she's brought into the picture. It just says her presence is required. Perhaps the promise of pussy is the White Lantern's new way of keeping Boston Brand in line. You have to admit, that's pretty cruel. He tries to explain what's going on and warns them that he may or may not have killed Hawkman, Hawkgirl, Aquaman, and the Martian Manhunter. Just as OJ Simpson may or may not have brutally murdered his ex-wife. But before he can even say much, that whole dark evil that the White Lantern has been droning on about finally shows up. Suddenly, it doesn't seem like the biggest douche in the series anymore.

The evil that has turned the Earth into a kitchen run by Gordan Ramsey has taken a new form. It's a form that definitely has elements of the Black Lanterns from Blackest Night, only at least fifteen times more badass. This dark avatar as they call it, looks pretty damn pissed and is in position to give the White Lantern the same treatment that PETA gives Oscar Meyer.

What this creature wants is pretty simple. It craves death the same way Snookie craves a shot of tequila at P. Diddy party. So that leaves Boston, Firestorm, Hawk, and Dove in a pretty rough position. At the same time Digger Harkness, who was one of the villains brought back in Blackest Night, is brought into the scene for reasons that aren't entirely clear. This is a guy who usually wouldn't piss out a fire if it meant saving a bus of newborn babies. However, he has shown up in Brightest Day before, so his presence isn't coming out of nowhere like a steroid allegation from Barry Bonds.

While this is going on, Deadman is basically giving Firestorm the same look he gave all those other heroes before he turned them into dust for the new OxyClean guy to snort. It's pretty obvious where this is going. Firestorm gets the business end of the White Lantern's firepower. And no, that's not a joke about prison bitches. Yet like with the Martian Manhunter, the result is somewhat different. While it does look like Ronnie is being cooked like a Turduken at John Madden's house, he's not keeling over like Pamela Anderson in a sausage factory.

This time the White Lantern pulls out all the stops and like a party at Charlie Sheen's house, goes completely overboard. It doesn't actually kill Firestorm. In fact, it turns out it may not have killed anybody. It just made them more awesome. So awesome that I may have to take back every douche-bag joke I ever said about the White Lantern. Because once Firestorm becomes as fiery as his name implies, he's joined by a bunch of other elemental forces that have a striking resemblance to a few certain characters. By certain I mean the very characters that the White Lantern supposedly offed. Hawkman and Hawkgirl are wind, J'onn J'ozz is Earth, and Aquaman is water to round out Firestorm's fire. Throw in heart and you may have a Captain Planet reference, but without the lame hippie crap. There aren't many jokes I could tell about this shit. It's simply awesome beyond description.

So you have the four elements of life and a dark evil trying to suck the life out of them the same way Twilight sucks the life out of vampire movies. What's going to happen when these forces meet? They're going to kick some serious ass, that's what! Deadman's conscious is now clear and he can go back to banging Dove in between wolfing down cheeseburgers. First this crazy creature that looks like something that died under one of Snoop Dogg's pot farms has to be addressed. Even with a more awesome form of Aquaman, Firestorm, the Martian Manhunter, and the Hawks that's easier said than done. But it still looks pretty damn awesome.

While these newly reborn heroes test out their new awesomeness, Deadman has to work with Hawk and Dove to protect has to protect something that the forest has been guarding. As it turns out, the savior that the White Lantern has been bitching about has been buried in this forest the whole time. That dark creature was on it's way to destroy it because typically when you go on a rampage, you want to fuck up whatever may be in a position to stop you. That's what Deadman has to protect. The real savior that's going to end this shit once and for all is a corpse buried like a discarded candy wrapper. This sounds like a questionable way to end the book until you find out said corpses name. It's Alec Holland. For all you non-comic types, that's the name of Swamp Thing. That's right. The savior of the planet and the new guardian is fucking Swamp Thing. If you said you saw that coming, you're not only full of shit. You're lying through your shit-stained teeth!

So here we are, one issue left of Brightest Day. The loose ends are starting to come together! This issue finally started pulling back the veil from the White Lantern and revealed some of the biggest mysteries that have dominated this series from the beginning. You would think that a series that has been over two dozen issues in length would start dragging by now, but with so many epic plots and brain-melting battles it still feels like it just began a few weeks ago. Now we find out that those heroes we thought were dead didn't exactly die. They simply took on a new (far more awesome) form. That form is the key to stopping the planet from basically destroying itself in an amazing twist of irony. Also, we finally learn the name of the shmuck that's going to put a stop to it all! It's Swamp Thing! It's a twist without sounding like a twist. It's setting the stage for a finish that will leave your brain in pieces and your dick as hard as polished steel.

There's no cute way of saying it. Brightest Day has been awesome beyond words. It could have easily fizzled at any one point. With only one issue left, it's saved the biggest fight for last. It isn't just a mindless brawl to get everybody in the same arena. This battle ties together everyone else who has been involved in Brightest Day. It does so in a way that feels so right yet it's still so intense that you can't really predict how it's going to pan out. If there is any shortcoming at all it's that Geoff Johns left one too many loose ends to tie up in the final issue. Why are Hawk and Dove on the scene? Why was Digger brought in?

Since it is the next-to-last issue you can't expect all those issues to be tied up. Otherwise, why buy the last issue at all? I don't consider these really shortcomings, but if there's too many that could mean the final issue may falter when so many others that came before it have been so strong. The cynical part of me that's still jaded from reading Ultimate Marvel and ripoff characters worries that Brightest Day has set the bar too high for the last issue. However, this series has repeatedly delivered in a ways few comics have so I'm willing to give Geoff Johns and Brightest Day the benefit of the doubt here.

So loose ends aside, Brightest Day #23 still gets a perfect 5 out of 5. It has set an epic stage for the final battle in this incredible series. I came into Brightest Day not expecting it to even come close to the awesome that Blackest Night delivered. I was so wrong that I'm willing to whip myself to atone. Brightest Day is every bit as awesome as Blackest Night and deserves every bit of praise you can give a comic book. If you're a DC fan or a comic fan in general, what the fuck are you doing reading this blog? Go out and get this series! It's comics at it's finest. Nuff said!

Brightest Day #21 - The Plot Thickens (With Awesome)

The light at the end of the tunnel is within sight and for once it's not because I smoked too much crack! That light is the end of Brightest Day. It's been building for over a year now and it's been an awesome ride. I liken it to being in a stretch limo with naked Playboy playmates while driving down the Las Vegas strip with Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohan serve cocaine laced Krystal from bottles made out of diamond encrusted gold. I make no bones about it. Brightest Day is the best series DC has on the racks and ending it would make every subsequent day as tragic as the Kennedy assassination. However, this story was never set up to run ten years with multiple writers coming and going like hookers at Tiger Woods's hotel room. It's a series with a beginning, middle, and end. Geoff Johns has given us the beginning and middle, throwing in a few nerdgasms that will leave your dick lifeless and limp for a good three days. Now he's setting up the end and the nerdgasms just can't stop coming (metaphorically speaking).

The end has been marked by the White Lantern showing that it's kind of a douche. It has been the binding force of all these sub-plots involving Hawkman, Hawkgirl, Aquaman, Firestorm, Deadman, and the Martian Manhunter. Everyone has had their own pile of shit to deal with. Yet when they finally clean it up and spray a gallon of Febrise on the rug, the White Lantern shows up and says their mission is complete. Then it kills them. It doesn't apologize or show any regrets. It just turns them to dust. Even for a lantern, it's a dick thing to do. For Boston Brand, aka Deadman, it probably makes him wish he was dead again.

The last issue brought the Aquaman plot to a head. For anybody who thinks Aquaman is a sissy, they are hereby sentenced to be flogged with Courtney Love's pubic hairs in a public forum after reading Brightest Day #20. Aquaman didn't just beat back Black Manta and an invasion on the surface world. He turned Manta's bastard son against him, reunited with Mera, and lost his hand in the process. When all seemed over and Aquaman was looking to get freaky with Mera, the White Lantern showed up. Despite Deadman's urgings, it wasn't enough. The White Lantern offed Aquaman just as it did Hawkman and Hawkgirl. So yeah, it is a dick move and it now shows that everyone who came back in Blackest Night is in danger of being worm food again.

Brightest Day #21 continues from the ashes of the last two issues...literally. The Atom is investigating the death of Hawkman and Hawkgirl, presumably while trying hard not to puke micrograms of bile. The rest of DC's finest heroes are on the beaches of Miami, cleaning up the mess made by Black Manta's invasion (and presumably hitting a few clubs in between). They also meet up with Mera, who looks like she just watched a donkey show in Tijuana go horribly wrong. Batman suspects the White Lantern is trying to rationalize these acts in the same way Charlie Sheen rationalizes his ego. Before they can even look into this mystery, a shit ton of distress calls come in. It seems the White Lantern isn't content with just being a dick to the heroes it brought back and their loved ones. It has to be a massive shlong to the whole fucking world.

The next target appears to be J'onn J'ozz. A while back before the White Lantern was acting up, J'onn was on his own little mission. He searched for another surviving Martian and found D'kay, who happened to be the Lorena Bobbet of Martians. She went after J'onn like a fat woman on her period goes after chocolate. She invaded his mind and made him believe that he resurrected every lost soul on Mars. Then in the same breath, she had him relive the experience. Now I know the White Lantern is a dick and all, but that's just plain fucking cruel. J'onn has a very low tolerance for bullshit that is dumped on the memory of his people so he makes sure D'kay feels his pain.

D'kay tries to mind-fuck J'onn even more, which is like trying to date rape a woman at a convention for domestic abuse victims. Suddenly the White Lantern isn't quite as big a dick anymore. She taunts him by saying that while he was living in fantasy land, they got freaky Martian style and she's pregnant with his kid. This would be a great propaganda piece for the enemies of Planned Parenthood, but J'onn is no dumbass. He sees right through her bullshit like a guy who just caught his wife going down on the pool cleaning guy.

Now some may argue that the beat-down J'onn is giving this bitch boarders on excessive. Keep in mind this same bitch mind fucked him and pissed all over the graves of his people. So in this rare instance a good bitch-slapping is justified. The Martian version of bitch slapping involves using telepathy to make D'kay feel all the pain that others are feeling. Since Mars is dead, J'onn taps into the minds of the people of Earth. This is like hooking every brain cell up to 7 billion car batteries while active spark plugs are strapped to your nipples. This does more than just put D'kay in a world of hurt. It alerts J'onn to the trouble on Earth, which means for him that he has to speed up his bitch-slapping.

Rather than stay on Mars and subject D'kay to the kind of treatment that would get him blacklisted by Concerned Women for America and Amnesty International, he finishes the job in the most logical way a man in his position would. He throws her into the son. No, that's not a metaphor. That's actually what J'onn does. He flies D'kay to the sun and throws her in like a chicken leg in a deep fryer.

That's one way of dealing with a psycho-bitch that every man in the world can appreciate. It works for women who deal with douche-bag guys to so it's not completely misogynistic. Once he watches D'kay's Martian flesh burn away like Colin Powell's credibility, the White Lantern shows up. So while J'onn's treatment of D'kay may be a dick move to some, it's still minor leagues compared to the lantern. This time it doesn't immediately turn him to dust the moment his mission is complete. It tells him to choose between his worlds, Earth or Mars. Seeing as how one is a dead hunk of rock and the other is only dead in terms of chronic plagues of stupidity, the choice is pretty obvious.

J'onn returns to Earth in time to see what's causing all those distress calls that the Justice League was getting earlier. Apparently Mother Earth is having a bad case of PMS and taking it out on everything around her. She's spewing volcano, unleashing Earthquakes, and spreading storms that are ravaging entire cities. It's not the worst case of PMS ever documented, but it's still up there. Maybe if it threw in a few irrational screams about what a bitch her mother is and how the world doesn't understand her, then maybe it would crack the top ten. And that's a big maybe.

J'onn does what heroes do and starts saving lives. This from a guy who just relived the death of his planet and had to mingle with a alien psycho-bitch for way too long. It shows without a doubt that J'onn has a heart as big as his Martian balls and comic fans everywhere should kneel before them in the same way they kneel before Zod. The only one who doesn't find this sort of brazen heroism commendable is the White Lantern. Just as he's saving crying girls from a river of lava, it shows up along with Deadman. Just like Aquaman and the Hawks, Deadman pleads with J'onn to get away. But this time, something different happens.

In the last two stories, the White Lantern's victims were caught off guard in the same way a dog is caught off guard when he finds out he's been neutered. For J'onn, he's about as surprised as everyone was when they heard the news that Ricky Martin was gay. He senses what Deadman has been through and doesn't even try to avoid it. It may be mind-numbingly stupid, but it may also be another act that further proves the adamantium caliber toughness of J'onn's balls.

So with Deadman still as helpless as ever, J'onn accepts the White Lantern's plan whatever it may be. It doesn't turn him into dust. Instead when it strikes him, he's essentially absorbed into the Earth. And not in the way hippies pretend when they're doped up on LSD. J'onn is literally taken into the Earth and he looks very content doing so. It leads readers to wonder more about the White Lantern's plan. Is it really as simple as being a massive dick and killing the characters that came back in Blackest Night? Or is there more to it? There was a chance that this tactic could have lost it's punch after what happened to Aquaman and the Hawks. Now it's taken a slightly different twist. It's not so radical that it makes your head spin off your neck, but it's enough to make you wonder and start foaming at the mouth for the next issue.

It's another powerful issue, but powerful in a way that's different from the last two issues of Brightest Day. What happened with Aquaman and the Hawks really took a bat to the hearts of the readers because after all the struggles they went through, the White Lantern just dropped in and ended them. It's like putting down a dog right after he got his nuts back. This issue appealed to the whole mystery aspect of the White Lantern. It's clear this thing isn't on a murder spree akin to Jason Vorehees, randomly decapitating characters who decide to get naked at the wrong time. There's something deeper to this plan. Deadman sure doesn't know what it is, but J'onn seems to know and was okay with being part of it. That has all sorts of implications that require several hits of LSD to properly contemplate.

It's a minor shift. One could argue it's too minor to make this issue different enough from the previous issues. Whoever argues that is very close to being nit-picking on the level that a lousy boss fires his assistant for not filling his candy dish completely with red M&Ms. Then again, you have to nit-pick if you want to find something wrong with this issue. There really isn't much to criticize. Like the last two issues, the story is top notch and so is the art and dialog. This issue may not hit people as hard emotionally as the last two issues, but Brightest Day #21 definitely leaves an impact. It thickens the plot while completing yet another storyline that has been developing for many issues. It's hard to knock the book for doing what you expect it to do and doing it pretty damn well.

I'm not going to beat around the bush this time. Brightest Day #21 is a 5 out of 5. There's no question about it. This issue is the third in a row where the story has taken a dramatic turn and ended with an emotionally gripping finish. With so few plots left and only a few issues left, there are only so many pages left for Geoff Johns to work with. This series has been going on for over a year and in that time it's told an elaborate story. Now that story is coming to an end and the steps leading up to it are leaving the series with some of it's best moments. Blackest Night was a historic achievement for DC comics. It's difficult to contemplate how any series can compliment that kind of awesome. Well Brightest Day has done that and succeeded more than anyone could have expected. That more than anything makes this series extra awesome as the end draws near. Nuff said!

Brightest Day #12 - Consistent Awesome

Things come and go all the time in comics. There are very few consistencies. Superman will save the day. Spider-Man will make a wise-crack. Deadpool will blow some shit up while breaking the 4th wall. But nobody is surprised at that shit. It's about as startling as Ricky Martin coming out of the closet, as Lindsey Lohan being arrested again, or as Sarah Palin revealing she never paid attention in high school. When something becomes consistent that you don't expect, now that's something to take notice of. That's like discovering the secret pass code to Michael Jackson's hidden stash of pills. Very few comics can ever remain consistently awesome over a long period of time, especially those that come after big events like Blackest Night. But someone at DC must have sold their soul to Satan because Brightest Day has become the exception that shits all over the rule.

The series has been awesome. Every book feels like it was crafted with the same care that Rush Limbaugh employs when he crafts his bullshit. It has been one of those rare series that encompasses so many characters and tells such an intriguing story that there's a little bit of everything. You get action, drama, aliens, dead people, sci fi, and hot naked chicks. You couldn't make it more awesome if you tattooed it onto the legs of a 12 high priced strippers. The last issue was somewhat sub-par, but that's like saying a a Playboy centerfold has a small mark on her left butt-cheek. It doesn't take away from the appeal and enjoyment of the whole package. And since this series is biweekly, it doesn't take long for Brightest Day to get another chance.

The past few issues have been a lot more focused with respect to the many stories that Brightest Day balances. Aquaman and Firestorm took center stage with their stories dominating the pages of the book. Their story like that of so many others is tied to the White Lanterns and so far that has been established as the binding force that draws every one of these characters together. The last issue ended with Firestorm giving rise to Deathstorm, who brought back a team of resurrected Black Lanterns. Aquaman's story has him searching for the guardian of the White Lanturn. This search is leading him back into the story of the Martian Manhunter, who a few issues back went on his own search for the last Green Martian. If you're a little confused, that's okay. That's just your brain telling you that appreciating a certain level of awesome requires the activation of more brain cells than you may be comfortable with.

J'onn J'ozz gets things going in this arc. He returned to Mars the last time he showed up, only a few issues back mind you. There he meets the Green Martian that he's looking for. While I'm not an expert on Martian culture, I'm pretty certain that this one has psycho bitch side to her. She wants to both kill J'onn and fuck him, all while sounding more wacked out of her mind than Charlie Sheen on crystal meth.

J'onn finds out the hard way that this bitch has been a left a bit off-key from being alone for so long. It's sort of like locking Michael Bay in a windowless room and feeding him only shrooms and water laced with DMT. So it's hard to really blame her (aside from her being completely fucking crazy) when she tries to seduce if that's the right word the first Green Martian she's come across in decades. Not only that, she seems to believe that his connection to the White Lantern will bring Mars back to life. It leads to a sort of twisted infatuation that probably doesn't qualify as love except for maybe in Ancient Greece, Ancient India, Soviet Russia, and Texas. But it does have that underlying Adam and Eve theme too it, except in this Eve was made by Satan while strung out on a three-day cocaine bender.

This Martian wants J'onn to bring Mars back to life and maybe get a cheap hate-fuck out of him in the process. They wrestle in ways that may qualify as Martian porn. It's not clear who is winning, but it does seem that J'onn gets the upper hand. Then it gets stranger, as if a battle between two Martians with one of them being more unbalanced than Van Goh without his meds. Out of nowhere the Justice League shows up and attacks J'onn because he's supposedly trying to terraform Mars at the expense of Earth. Now if this were true it would give a reason for J'onn to be subdued just a little, but the Justice League appearing out of nowhere comes off as one of those contrived elements that only seem to appear in lesser comics where writers pull 99 percent of the material out of the recesses of their colon. But this is Brightest Day. It's a book that earns the benefit of the doubt and it's not something that means eyes should start rolling just yet.

There's already a sign that this fight is a result of J'onn eating too many Martian shrooms because Firestorm, who appeared in the sudden assault, is already engrossed in his own battle. In the last issue, the Black Lanterns made a comeback with the Black Lanter Firestorm (now going by the must more badass sounding name, Deathstorm) leading the charge. Ronnie and Jason (the non-badass Firestorm) still haven't stopped arguing despite Professor Stein warning them that it could cause another Big Bang. They're pretty much flying around with two thumbs up their ass trying to figure out what they're going to do. Then the Black Lanterns beat them to it, saying they need to find the White Lantern. It's not clear where this idea comes from, but they make a very fashionable escape and the previously mentioned thumbs are now even deeper in Ronnie and Jason's ass.

We finally get another glimpse of Boston Brand again, who hasn't shown up for a few books. His last appearance had him actually picking up the White Lantern and trying to use it to get some answers. It led him to cross paths with Aquaman. Now he's trying to find everyone who crossed paths with the White Lantern. He also has a hot chick helping him, so that's a plus. Although it also seems that he's sensing what the Black Lanterns are doing so that's probably going to kill the mood faster than an incontinent stripper with a spastic colon.

While the Black and White Lanterns are on the mood, J'onn is still in the middle of his psuedo-battle with the Justice League. They try to basically bury him, but at this point he figures out that the whole thing isn't real. It's not too surprising. It would make a lot less sense if the Justice League actually had shown up to contain J'onn, even if it may have been more awesome. Once again, a psycho bitch proves to be even more disorienting than a shot of tequila laced with paint thinner. At this point J'onn finally pushes back. He fights off the other Green Martian and finally flashes a little White Lantern bling, which he seems to believe will resurrect Mars. It's also a bit disorienting because wasn't this the same shit that psycho chick warned him about? And he's going through with it? It almost feels like that part of Inception when you're not sure if the dream was just a dream or if the dream is just meant to look like a dream. Fuck, now I'm confused too!

Confusing or not, there's no denying that J'onn looks pretty bad ass using his White Lantern power. What's even more disturbing yet uplifting is that he sort of succeeds. The same White Lantern powers that brought him back to life have now brought his planet back to life. So in this case the psycho bitch was right. Somehow that doesn't seem to bother J'onn, but it still makes for a pretty neat montage.

So it seems that J'onn has finally succeeded. He has his home back. Could this be the rare and beautiful thing that comic book fans so rarely see? That strange old thing called a happy ending? Most aren't familiar with that term outside an Asian massage parlor. Yet here, everything seems right. J'onn used the White Lantern power to resurrect Mars. That's a happy ending, isn't it? One without the mess you have to clean up with kleenexes and baby wipes. Well seeing as how this is Brightest Day we're talking about, it's not that easy.

Remember that psycho bitch? Well it turns out she may have won this fight after all because after a tearful reunion with his wife and children, it seems as though J'onn has been basically tricked by the earlier psycho bitch. He basically stops fighting her and starts loving her. It's disturbing and grotesque, but like a donkey show in Tijuana you can't look away. It basically means J'onn is now pussy whipped and mind-fucked, which if he's connected to the White Lantern is going to seriously fuck shit up with Firestorm and Boston Brand. It's a nice setup at the end and one that fully respects the tradition of awesome that Brightest Day has established.

So the story moves forward, now with a psycho bitch in charge. It's yet another element that makes Brightest Day awesome. This issue was a lot easier to follow than the previous issue. While it was a little disorienting at some points with the whole Justice League showing up to fight J'onn, it all made sense at the end and didn't try to be too mind-blowing. Not every story can have a Matrix feel to it and Geoff Johns didn't overshoot. It moved J'onn's story forward while also moving the story of the White Lanterns forward. You really can't ask for much more of a book.

Now some elements were lost in the details. What happened with Aquaman wasn't clear and the whole struggle with Firestorm and Deathstorm was somewhat underdeveloped. There really wasn't much hint of what was guiding these guys and why they were doing what they were doing. It's clear this is J'onn's story, but how it ties into the other stories isn't as well-crafted as it could have been. At least some connections were made. The White Lantern remains at the center of it all so there is that binding force with each story. Even if they aren't fully developed, they still make plenty of sense.

Going back to my points about consistency, Brightest Day continues to show that it can deliver the goods issue after issue. It's like a quality hooker that never charges extra for the same great service. You can't ask for much more in a book like this. It's a compelling story with compelling characters and compelling twists. Plus it has a psycho bitch now! That seals the deal for this book. Brightest Day #12 gets a 5 out of 5, another perfect score to add to it's trophy case. I know it has many, but like Tiger Woods this series is never satisfied. Only in this case, everyone can share in the orgasmic awesome! Nuff said.

Brightest Day #11 - Dark Awesome

Every two weeks I'm inclined to pay my routine tribute to DC comics. This has been the longest stretch of time in over a decade where I've routinely ponied up my hard earned cash for a single ongoing series. It used to be DC comics couldn't hold my interest in the same way Lost couldn't hold my interest. So much was going on and unless you were stoned, it wasn't going to knock your socks off. Well then Blackest Night happened and the ongoing Brightest Day followed up and let's just say I've been walking barefoot ever since! Brightest Day remains one of the most consistently quality stories in comics right now. Not only is it biweekly, but the damn thing only costs $2.99 when most comics these days cost a buck extra. It's a better deal than the five dollar foot long.

Since issue one (or zero if you want to be technical) Brightest Day has followed the story of characters who returned from the ashes of Blackest Night. They've all played a part in the unfolding world of the new DCU status quo. It took a number of issues to set up, but in recent months the action has really escalated. There's a lot more focus on certain character plots. The ones most prominent have been that of Firestorm and Aquaman. The Aquaman plot has spun out of the white lantern, which thanks to Boston Brand (Deadman for all you folks too lazy to use wikipedia) is seeking a new guardian. That guardian is tied to a new Aqualad, who happens to be the son of Black Manta (go on, use wikipedia this time). So somehow the battle for this kid will determine what happens with the White Lantern. It's like a struggle for the keys to a new Ferrari or the combination to Scarlett Johanssen's underwear drawer.

While the Aquaman issue has been unfolding for a few issues, now the last issue revisited the story with Firestorm. Since the beginning of Brightest Day their story has been mostly the tired college drama you would find on MTV reality shows. Some guy's girlfriend is dead because some other guy had the audacity to come back from the dead and merge with the Firestorm matrix. It's basically the plot of no fewer than two seasons of the Real World. Now Jason and Ronnie, the two sides of the Firestorm matrix, have learned how their mutual hatred for one another had the potential to cause another big bang. While this offers a much stronger incentive to forgive and forget, some of Ronnie's old demons literally come back to haunt them in the form of the Black Lantern corps. Apparently not everyone died or re-died as it were in Blackest Night. The Firestorm Black Lantern was just buying his time and having a big bang in his hip pocket leaves him in pretty good position to kick some ass.

So this new Firestorm seems eager to learn about this deadly power Professor Stein has uncovered. He basically comes off as having the maturity of a college frat boy who claims to know the secret of the universe. So in that sense, he's an accurate representation of no fewer than 60 college stereotypes. And like a college stereotype, he's not inclined to study for answers. He does the equivalent of buying his essay off the internet and absorbs Professor Stein in hopes of uncovering the full potential to his power.

There's then a quick interlude of the battle between Aquaman and Black Manta. It's really an old school style brawl, a classic comic character battling his arch rival in the Lex Luthor vs. Superman tradition. However, the stakes are extra high in this one. Black Manta seems a lot less like his sinister self in that he's fighting for control over his son (granted, the same son he apparently abandoned, but still). Aquaman is trying to keep those influences away from him and understandably so. However, as old school as this battle is there isn't much of a spectacle here. It's basically like a reminder to the reader that there is a fight going on and that's about it. Plus it only lasts two pages. It's basically some filler to cover the gaps with the Firestorm arc.

This is really Firestorm and Deathstorm's issue to shine. Jason and Ronnie are facing their darkest half and for once Professor Stein isn't going to bail them out. Now it's not entirely clear just how Deathstorm is using Stein. He just seems to be fooling around with his powers, not using that whole big bang thing that Stein described in the last issue. You would think that someone with the maturity level of a drunk college student couldn't resist the temptation to use it. But instead he just harasses Ronnie and Jason. That's a little underhanded, but it does give Jason and Ronnie time to set aside the whole I-killed-your-girlfriend bit and join forces as Firestorm again. In terms of being an evil villain, Deathstorm is already proving to be pretty incompetent. But that's forgivable from a reader's perspective because it makes for some awesome moments with Firestorm.

This ends up being another short scene, like a prelude for the fight to come. The story goes right back to Black Manta and Aquaman. There's not a whole lot of overbloated dialogue here. There's just an all out brawl and even in a story as deep as Brightest Day, there's nothing wrong with that! It's like porn. There will always be a place for deeper stories, but there are just some times you want to look at pretty things that will get your juices flowing! The art here really shines and the old school style struggle with Aquaman and Black Manta really shines. It unfolds nicely, but eventually someone had to gain the upper hand. In this case it's Black Manta. He's the one fighting for his son so he kicks just enough extra ass to make Aquaman regret coming back from the dead.

This battle appears to be the simpler plot of the comic and like each scene so far, it doesn't last long because the story bounces back to the Firestorm/Deathstorm arc. Now at this point readers may be feeling a bit of vertigo because this issue is bouncing around so much. If your brain is prone to falling out of your skull, now is a good time to take a breather. But the story is still worth following here.

Now that Deathstorm has to contend with Jason and Ronnie, he tries to make it personal again. To do this he brings Jason's father, Alan Rusch into the fold. Now it's not quite clear what kind of strategy Deathstorm is employing. It's not entirely reckless though. If you want to psyche out Firestorm, a good way to do it is piss off a part of it. In this case that part is Jason and unlike the Mafia, Deathstorm isn't afraid to go after family. He sucks in Alan the same way he sucks in Professor Stein. Before Firestorm can even begin to fight back, he flies off. So basically that means for everything that's happened so far Firestorm and Deathstorm have yet to really fight. It seems like a shortcoming, but the stage is being set for something here. It's just taking much longer than it should to unfold.

Now at this point you gotta hold onto your brain again because the story heads right back to Aquaman and Black Manta. Now to this point Black Manta still has the upper hand just as the baby daddy always has the upper hand in all things outside Maury Povich. He keeps messing with Aquaman, letting his actions do most of the talking here. There's not nearly the same dialogue as there is with the Deathstorm struggle and that's not a bad thing. It's a lot easier to follow here. You don't need to study astrophysics at Oxford to follow it. You don't even need to graduate the third grade to follow it. This is especially apparent in the way that Aquaman turns the tables on Black Manta. He uses an oncoming truck. Even in a superhero comic, there's just no substitute for road rage.

This renders Black Manta officially pwned and humiliated, allowing Aquaman to escape with the new Aqualad (his name is Jackson for all those who skipped that part). This effectively puts a stop to that battle and then resumes the chase with Deathstorm.

Finally, it's getting a bit more coherent. Firestorm chases Deathstorm to his destination. It turns out he was heading straight towards the White Lantern, which Boston Brand found earlier. Now Boston is nowhere in sight and neither are the White Lanterns. So that seems like a bit of a head-scratcher. But wherever he is, Deathstorm takes advantage of his absence and starts corrupting this power that has been at the center of the Brightest Day series since the first page. It immediately upgrades Deathstorm's hit-points in terms of evil from a 10 to a 70 because he's got ambition as well as balls. And with it, he does something that should make Blackest Night fans run naked through the streets while high on ecstasy. He resurrects the Black Lantern Corps.

If ever there was a stage to be set for a battle of cosmic proportions, this is it! Now most should probably have forgotten that whole lack of a fight between Deathstorm and Firestorm. That would have been too easy. Throw in the entire Black Lantern Corps and you've got something that's the awesomeness equivalent of the Death Star! It definite kicks everything up a notch within this series.

While this battle is being waged, the struggle is still unfolding for Aquaman and the new Aqualad. They've left Black Manta behind and are in search of their next battle. For whatever reason, Jackson is the key and Aquaman helps him figure it out. It's not entirely clear what he does, but he manages to open up that sealed case his father gave him earlier to reveal a map that's supposed to tell them where they have to go next. Once again, Brightest Day shows how well-thought out it is because the next destination further ties into the other plots that have been unfolding within the series. Their next trip will be to Mars, where the Martian Manhunter has been caught up in a search of his own. He hasn't shown up in Brightest Day in a few issues. Now it looks like he's going to finally get the spotlight again along with the Black Lanterns. It's like the end of an episode of House. The answers fall into place and Dr. House winds up looking more awesome. He's not even in this comic, but even he would celebrate the end of this issue with an extra helping of Vicodin.

So once again, Brightest Day proves why it's still the most reliable source of awesome from DC. This issue was heavy on the action and the foreboding, showing old school battles with Aquaman and Black Manta alongside new school battles with the Black Lantern Corps. It's like both schools coming together in a way that doesn't piss off the teacher unions! Only someone like Geoff Johns could pull that shit off and it makes this issue a worthy contribution to this series.

Now I do have some criticisms this time. I've caught some flack in the pass for overlooking flaws within this series and giving perfect scores out in the same way Paris Hilton gives out blow jobs. But there are some more serious issues this time around. What really made this issue a bit of a struggle was the pacing. The scenes changed every couple of pages and there wasn't nearly the kind of flow that made the other issues so easy to follow. First it's Deathstorm, then Aquaman, then Deathstorm again, and then back to Aquaman. It made everything more choppy than was necessary. If it were a boat, everybody on board would get sea sick and blow chunks into the nearest school of leaping dolphins.

Confusing or not, the content is still up to par and that's really the most important part of comics like this. You can overlook the seeming lack of organization if the material is still awesome. So while I can't give this book a perfect score like all the others, I can still give it a stellar 4.5 out of 5. Hopefully the next issue won't fly over everybody's head and be a bit more coherent. But with all the big stories set up in this issue, there's a shit ton of reasons to still celebrate the awesome of Brightest Day! Nuff said.