Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Marvel Marvel Announcement: "Avengers vs. X-men"

I normally don't make two major blog posts in one day for the same reason I don't mix cocaine and vodka. There's only so much my system can take. But Marvel seems intent on putting my crack dealer out of business. Less than a day after posting an announcement that they would discuss the return of the Phoenix Force to the X-books, Marvel made a much bigger announcement. And it can be summed up in three words: X-men vs. Avengers.

Marvel Announces X-men vs. Avengers for 2012

Say it again just so it sinks in. X-men vs. Avengers. It sounds so awesome that you could get high off the fumes and sell it to middle school kids for their lunch money. Yet it comes as one of the worst kept secrets since Ricky Martin's sexuality. Marvel has already been hinting at this. At the New York Comic Con, they were waving their proverbial dicks in the air saying that there would be some big 2012 event that would make Marvel fans ejaculate multiple times in their underwear. This after Fear Itself started with a bang and ended with a whimper. Yet this something that has actual circumstances surrounding it. It has already been confirmed that the Phoenix Force is a part of it, as dictated in the overpriced Point One. It has also been confirmed that Hope Summers and Wanda Maximoff, the cause of and solution to M-Day, will be at the center of it all. Basically, the X-men and the Avengers have to fight over two reality warping women with serious PMS. It's the kind of threat that could tear the universe several trillion new assholes.

Now I'm going to ignore the Phoenix teasers because I already ranted about them earlier and I'm not hung over yet. The simple premise of X-men vs. Avengers just sounds so awesome that I could mix it with cranberry juice and get my ex-girlfriend drunk off it. Moreover, this shit isn't being pulled out of the random ass of a Marvel writer. This was built up back during Second Coming, Generation Hope, and Children's Crusade (which has been more delayed than the return of Arrested Development). It's the climax after so much foreplay that you're not sure you can get it up again. Yet low and behold, this announcement acts like viagra mixed with ecstasy and now every fanboy has a boner that could require medical attention by the time this event hits in April 2012.

So am I excited? Well let me put it this way. When I saw this announcement the first thoughts through my head were "Well shave my nuts, jam a stick up my ass, and call me Johnny Knoxville! This is awesome! Now where the fuck is my weed?" It's THAT big. Marvel has fallen behind DC in wake of the new 52 relaunch. This has the potential to bitch slap DC back into the number two spot until they get desperate again and do another relaunch. The stakes are high and Marvel has a lot to lose and a lot to gain from this story. And like a hobo at a craps table, I'm all in! Nuff said!


  1. Dis gon be a event. Especially with many X-Men being on the Avengers rosters.

  2. Hell yes! I expect some bones to be broken, some blood to be spilled, and some pants to be shat!