Sunday Rant: Who Will/Should Win Avengers vs. X-men?

It's Sunday again and I've been drinking. So you know what that means? One, I need to call my neighbor and tell them I took a shit in hot tub again. Two, I'm ready for another rant! I don't want to make these too typical because my liver will kick my ass and because I want to leave more room for reviews, but given the current situation with Marvel comics there's a lot to rant about and my drunken ravings shall be heard!

This week, I want to talk about two important questions surrounding the upcoming Avengers vs. X-men event. One is a question that everyone is asking. The second is a question only a select few with awesome weed are asking. The most pressing is who will come out on top with Avengers vs. X-men? Marvel has said early on that this battle will be a winner and a loser. Now we don't know if Marvel's definition of winning is the Vince Lombardi kind or the Charlie Sheen kind, but as they showed with events like Civil War they are capable of screwing a certain segment of heroes over that were on the wrong side of a conflict. But forget for a moment who will come out on top. Get a little liquor in your system and start asking the question who SHOULD win?

There's no bones about it. The Avengers and the X-men will have plenty of reasons to beat the shit out of each other. The world is set to be torched by the Phoenix Force and for some very convoluted reasons both sides can't agree on how to handle it. Just look at the cover. Diplomacy amounts to precisely dick at this point.

For the moment, Marvel is employing their usual Area 51 style security to prevent any hint at who may be favored. They've focused more on starting fanboy battles where kids in their parents' basement piss and moan about who has a tougher time getting a bikini wax, Rogue or She-Hulk. That's an admirable strategy in it's own right, but if Marvel is being sincere about there being a winner and loser just as they were with Civil War then that raises some interesting possibilities. Since I haven't started dry heaving yet, I'll review some of them.

First, let's look at the Avengers. This is a team that the world respects. They're not mutants. They're officially recognized superheroes. Some of them like Iron Man and Black Widow don't have powers they were born with. Some like Hulk are the result of an accident. Yet they're all a self-contained, well-understood force for justice and all that is good. That's why the public is inclined to look on them favorably for the most part. The events of Fear Itself and Civil War shook the public's confidence in their heroes. They have a much smaller margin for error. If they do something that leads to the kind of destruction that Fear Itself incurred, then they're not going to be seen as heroes as much as they are a nuisance. So when Nova comes back from deep space to let them know that the Phoenix Force is on their way and it's capable of unleashing way more destruction than the Serpent ever could, they know they have to get their shit together. They won't have a very confident public if the public is burnt to a crisp. So their focus is stopping this overgrown parrot before it takes a giant shit on their world.

The X-men are in a very different boat. The world already hates them. They're so hated that homicidal kids are able to take over corporations and launch sentinels on the island nation they had to work so hard to carve out. In the eyes of many, they aren't heroes. There isn't much sympathy for their kind in the same way there isn't much sympathy for the influenza virus. While some do tag team with the Avengers every now and then, for the most part the mutants of Marvel have to contend with being the ticking time bombs in the eyes of every human. Unlike the Avengers, most were born with their powers and they aren't exactly predictable. And most people hate unpredictability, which is why weathermen are so hated. When news emerges that the world is about to be torched, their concerns aren't in line with the Avengers.

If that weren't bad enough, they're an endangered species. The events of House of M reduced their number to a point where you could fit all of them in Donald Trump's office and still have room for a pool. They managed to jump start their species again with Hope Summers in the events of Second Coming, but it hasn't been a smooth ride. You can still count all the new mutants she's sparked on one hand and she did it with the help of the same fiery parrot that is on a crash course with Earth now. Oh, and she has red hair and green eyes. There isn't a good history with characters that have red hair, green eyes, and a connection to the Phoenix Force. Be that as it may, that history is very personal for very obvious reasons.

Need I say more? But beyond the threat the Phoenix inherently poses, the X-men have to think of the larger picture. Their species isn't growing fast enough and the recent Schism between Wolverine and Cyclops has left them less than united. Hope Summers flashed some Phoenix potential and a handful of mutants emerged. Now the Phoenix itself is on it's way and they're a species in need of a rebirth. It's impossible for them to separate the Phoenix Force from the mutant messiah that they've doubled down on after the casino has broken their balls, cut off their fingers, and gouged out their left eye. They want to save their species while the Avengers want to save the world. And therein lies the heart of the problem.

The Avengers and the X-men both possess some pretty heavy firepower, but each side is motivated by different circumstances. One comes off as inherently heroic. The Avengers are just trying to stop the world from becoming a giant ash tray for the Phoenix. But the X-men want to use the Phoenix to jump start their species. This was actually stated in a recent preview for Avengers vs. X-men #1 by Scott fucking Summers of all people. The Phoenix killed his wife and fucked him up in ways that led him to marry her clone. Yet in this preview, he talks about trying to train Hope to tap the Phoenix Force. I know there is a large legion of Cyclops-haters that are jealous of him getting to bury his face in Emma Frost's boobs every night, but they actually have a valid point here. When the man most hurt by the Phoenix Force is arrogant and desperate enough to try and control the Phoenix Force, his giant balls are overshadowed by the extent his head is up his ass.

So Cyclops is willing to risk the entire world being burnt to a crisp like a slab of deer meat on Ted Nugant's grill and entrust the power of the Phoenix to Hope fucking Summers? A girl who in recent issues of Generation Hope has pissed off members of her team to the point where they want to fucking crucify her? Well smear peanut butter on my dick, call my neighbors dog, and give my ex-girlfriend a lesson in oral sex. If that isn't the act of a man who has let his role as dictator of a country and personal giaglo to Emma Frost go to his head, I don't know what is.

This has led me to conclude in my drunken wisdom that Cyclops and the X-men are on the wrong side of the battle, at least they are under the current circumstances. They're the one putting the Earth in danger. They're the one not willing to work with the Avengers to find a way to take down the Phoenix before it shows up. So when asking who SHOULD win the battle between the Avengers vs X-men, I think I speak for the beleaguered residents of the Marvel universe when I say the Avengers should win. And this coming from a guy whose blog and fanfiction series both star the X-men.

But it would be foolish to think that the circumstances would be this basic. With Marvel, they rarely are. There's a wild card in the mix that hasn't been fully finalized yet, thanks in large part to the shitty delays plaguing Avengers: Children's Crusade. That wild card's name is Wanda Maximoff. She's the other side to the Avengers vs. X-men coin. She's the one that made Hope Summers necessary when she lost her fucking mind in House of M and neutered most of the mutant population. She has slowly (emphasis on slowly) regained her sanity in the events of Children's Crusade, but the mutants of the Marvel Universe haven't forgotten that she's still responsible for making them an endangered species. And as previews have shown, she will be a factor in how Avengers vs. X-men plays out.

Both Wanda and Hope have demonstrated that they're capable of restoring mutants. They've also demonstrated that they're capable of fucking reality up in a way that all the LSD in Europe couldn't match. The Avengers may in some ways may also be sheltering the key to the survival of the mutant race while also sheltering her from justice. It's something that makes Cyclops's decision to double down on the Phoenix Force more understandable, but that doesn't make it any less a dick move.

As it stands, the Avengers are still on the right side of history. But that could change as the story unfolds. It begs the question what will happen if one side loses. If the Avengers lose, then they may be reduced to the same kind of scrutiny that mutants face because of their powers. It'll become a much more hostile world for superheroes and one that could make for some very interesting stories. But if the X-men lose, then mutants are more vulnerable than ever. They suddenly become a menace on the level of Days of Futures Past. Utopia could fall. The Jean Grey Institute could be taken over, which wouldn't go over well with Wolverine to say the least. The gap between one group of heroes and the other would be so great that it would completely change the dynamic of how the Marvel Universe works. That also could make for some very interesting stories.

Then there's a chance they could both end up as losers and the world would be that much more fucked. We really don't know at this point, but if I were a betting man that hadn't lost his last mortgage payment betting against the Giants in the Superbowl I would say the Avengers have the better odds. They're the one coming out with the movie later this year. They're the one Marvel is pushing with all their might to be the biggest name in comics. They may or may not succeed, but whatever the case I'll keep drinking and ranting as the truth unfolds. Nuff said!

Generation Hope #16 - Messianic Awesome

I tend not to make a big deal of comics that use the kind of messianic metaphors that make Pat Robertson, the Family Research Council, and James Dobson whine like little girls stuck in a room with a spider. I enjoy blasphemy as much as the next guy, but let's face it. The story has been done to death for the past 2000 years. However, the messianic story surrounding Jea-I mean Hope Summers (my memory sucks when I'm drunk) is not a story you would expect to hear from Middle Eastern goat herders. It's a story that Marvel has turned into an epic that has spanned years. Jean-I mean Hope (I need to sober up) is in a position to be the messiah to the entire mutant race. She's already helped boost their numbers with the Five Lights. Like a certain Middle Eastern preacher, she's gained some exceedingly loyal followers along the way and used those followers to go on the kind of adventures they right books about. Can't think of a good example, but you get the idea.

However, part of every messiah story involves a betrayal of sorts. You don't take on the role of a savior without making a few enemies because saviors by definition have to save others from something that's fucking with them. More often than not, it's a someone. The only way to combat it is to fuck with the system itself and Je-I mean Hope (need more coffee) has been doing more than her share. Since Second Coming, she's become less a messiah and more an insubordinate brat who thinks with her fist more than her brain. This has already led her to put Idie in a bad position that led her to leave the team in Schism. Then in the most recent arc, she brought Sebastian freakin' Shaw to Utopia and demanded that he join her team. She might as well have brought Mephisto on a double date with Spider-Man and Mary Jane Watson.

All this has led to more and more anxiety from her fellow Lights and the other X-men, especially Emma Frost since she tends to despise redheads for obvious reasons. Now it's getting to a point where some are looking to play the role of Judas in Hope's (cold shower did the trick!) messianic story. Generation Hope #16 begins to tell that story. It starts off by showing Hope in a pretty conflicted position because after the hissy fit she threw in the last issue with Sebastian Shaw, Cyclops has given her the X-men's file on the asshole for her to study. In reviewing it, she gets a sense that she's dealing with a guy that may or may not rank somewhere between pond scum and donkey shit. Plus, he did try to kill Cable a few times. That can't help, but to Cyclops's credit he's still trusting her. To him, she's still the messiah and that means giving her the kind of leeway that Charlie Sheen gets with his family.

Messiah or no messiah, some of the Lights are finally getting tired with her bullshit. And who better to conspire against a Jean Grey ripoff than an Akira ripoff? Kenji made it clear at the end of the last issue that he didn't like the control she asserted on him or the other Lights. And being the kind of deranged artist that thinks logic doesn't make for good art, he starts plotting. He attempts to get Laurie involved and he shows a little creativity in the process (he is an artist after all). He uses those creepy tentacle-rape monster type powers of his to link into Laurie's mind where he creates an illusion where they're both normal. He points out (correctly) that Hope has power and influence over every one of them and the more Lights she activates, the more power she'll have. He briefly flashes an image of her becoming a Goblin Queen like one-woman army, which I admit is pretty hot, but since she's already a Jean Grey ripoff I would rather Hope leave Madelyn Pryor alone.

The fucked up thing about this crazy lecture is that Kenji isn't wrong. Hope isn't the tragic little girl that was running from Bishop for most of her life. She's an arrogant brat not afraid to assert herself on a bunch of young mutants who haven't had much time to adjust to the idea that they're doomed to being labeled a freak for the rest of their lives. She hasn't really made them feel normal. She's tried to turn them into soldiers for her rescue team. Even if he is one of those artists that sniffed one too many paint fumes, Kenji has good reason not to trust her with an army of Lights.

It's a very serious and emotional moment for Kenji and Laurie. However, James Asmus isn't without throwing in a bit of humor. In previous issues, Teon has proven unable to control his mating instincts around the Stepford Cuckoos. But cut him some slack. They're three hot blonds that like to dress in catholic school girls uniforms. How could anyone, let alone a hyperinstinctual mutant, help himself? Two of the Cuckoos try to hose him off like a priest taking a cold shower after watching the Little League World Series. They even create a nice dream-world for him where he's surrounded by beautiful women and all his does is eat, sleep, mate, and fight. Instinct or not, that sounds like Heaven in my book! But what's interesting here is one of the Cuckoos actually comes to Teon's aid. It leads to a rare fight among the triplets and not the kind you can masturbate to unfortunately. It shows that the Lights aren't the only one dealing with a potential rift. Could one of the Cuckoos have the hots for a lovable horndog like Teon? It's possible and could make for the kind of fantasy that both dogs and man alike can cherish. 

So her Lights are conspiring against her. Her unofficial pet in Teon can't tear himself away from the Stepford Cuckoos. You would think this is shit she should be on top of, but she does have other crap to deal with. Namely Sebastian Shaw. After reading about what a douche-bag he is, she pays him a visit. Shaw has since shaved both his beard and head, making him look less like a rich asshole and more like the guy I buy pot from. You don't want to feel any sympathy fr this asshole, but he does make clear that he trusts Hope and Hope has to lie to his face that she would help him recover memories of who he was. Given what she's read about him, it's understandable. But still, she's supposed to be the messiah and lying like that is usually a bad sign. I'm sure even Jesus was a little more tactful when his disciples asked about him and Mary Magdalyn.

Everyone seems to either be plotting to kill one someone or fuck them. Teon seems to be improving his luck with the Cuckoos, but what about Gabriel? He also has a raging boner that won't go away. He's tried sharing it with Hope, which only ended in disaster. He tried sharing it with Pixie, who didn't much appreciate it either. But since he went out of his way to save her ass in the last arc, she's a bit more open to letting him lick chocolate off it now. She pays him a visit and it doesn't take long before she forgets all about his tendency to let his penis do the thinking and kisses him. Maybe it's just because Pixie has a lack of options on Utopia and not enough people have an Elf fetish. So why not go for a guy who is so horny at times that he would hump beanbag chair with a slit in it? It's not romantic, but they both get laid. So why not?

While Gabriel's day is getting better by the second, Hope's day just keeps getting worse. She crosses paths with Emma Frost again, who if you'll recall smacked her across the face in the previous issue in a rather awesome way. She just finished a meeting with Kenji, which is like seeing the President of Iran come out of a gas station bathroom with a nuclear weapons scientist from North Korea. In a very unmessianic way, Hope blows Emma off and once again it's not in a way you can masturbate to. My dick is starting to get very upset, but at the expense of diverting too much blood from my brain I'll also point out that Hope confronts the same gang of mutants that tried to rough her up in the last issue as well. It was a generic fight, but one that left Random and his buddies pretty humiliated. So it's a little surprising/ominous when Kenji comes along to break it up. It doesn't come off as an overly friendly gesture either. It's more a "the bitch is mine!" type move.

It's not just Kenji that's making a move either. After yet another instance where Emma wants to slap Hope a new one, she meets with Cyclops to nag him like any good girlfriend should when their fuck buddy is paying too much attention to another woman. What's odd is she's not wrong either. She points out that Cyclops is giving Hope way too much leeway and is blindly trusting that she's the messiah they all hope she is. That doesn't sit well with her and for once Emma Frost's tits, pussy, ass, and lips are not enough to sway Cyclops. Even the mention of the Phoenix does nothing so Emma Frost does something that if it happened in any other book would be big. She uses her powers to knock his ass out. It's not quite as bad as locking a clamp around a man's dick, but I imagine it's right up there.

This is a powerful scene, but once again it's playing off the old theme that Marvel won't do anything to seriously disrupt the Cyclops/Emma relationship. So it's hard to take seriously that something is going to happen here. Moreover, all this drama seems to be happening in a vacuum. It's really not clear how this fits into the events of the other X-books, if at all. It means either nothing meaningful will come of this shit or it's just one of those things that will be glossed over in other books. That's the problem with comics that are about to end. So many good things may happen towards the end, but it's all too easy for related books to write them off.

Now Hope's blind adherent isn't around to help her. It allows Kenji to take some pages out of Japanese anime porn and use that tentacle rape body to attack Hope in a way that isn't quite NC-17, but still pretty fucked up. Using his powers and getting help from former brain-in-a-jar Martha, he starts mind raping Hope into a dream world where he attacks her. He brings up the events of the first arc of Generation Hope where she used his own powers to fuck with him and tame him. He also taunts her at how she's an arrogant brat who wants to be a messiah, but doesn't give three sixteenths a shit about the Lights she influences. Again, he's not wrong. Hell, I found myself saying "It's about damn time!" when I read this scene. I'm not an art buff, but Kenji is alright! Aside, from of course, the tentacle rape connotations.

Once he's done screwing with her mind a bit, he wakes her up to show that she's in a position that another messiah back in Palestine 2000 years ago was in. She's nailed to a cross-like structure with Emma Frost, Magneto, Kenji, Laurie, and a bunch of other mutants surrounding her. They dare her to show that she's the messiah she claims to be, but Kenji also points out that messiahs have a tendency to die. It's really an either/or prospect. Either sacrifice herself like a good messiah or stop being such a bitch. It should be an easy choice for any reasonably minded person, but Hope Summers is the same arrogant bitch that brought Sebastian Shaw to Utopia. Reasonably minded left her sorry ass a long time ago.

This is the kind of story that hasn't exactly been brewing from the beginning, but the potential has always been there. Now James Asmus is realizing it and doing a damn good job of making good use of it. He really shines here in the way he handles these characters. I can honestly say that this is probably the best depiction that the Lights have gotten in quite some time. We don't just get to see Kenji and Laurie adjusting to their roles as mutants under Hope's wing. We get to see them wrestling with their very nature. The visuals and the mind games help give this book a unique feel. They don't go to some exotic location to fight a battle. Much of it happens inside their minds and really helps flesh the characters out. Because while Kenji sounds like an artist that smoked way too much weed at times, he's perfectly reasonable in despising Hope for her hold on the team.

The only criticism I can levy against this issue (if you can even call it that) is this drama doesn't seem to play off anything else that's going on in the other X-books. Shaw's presence hasn't been brought up to anyone yet and Namor, who was assured that Emma Frost killed the man, hasn't even been mentioned in a thought bubble. While this story may eventually mix with the rest of the X-books, at the moment it feels very isolated and narrow. It's written in a way that seems too cut off from the larger scope of the X-books. I know that Generation Hope is getting canceled, but that doesn't mean it can't play a part in the greater X-men landscape. It's still a very well-written book, but is too narrow in scope and we get no sense that the events in this issue will affect other books even if they should.

On it's own, Generation Hope #16 is still a quality comic. James Asmus has done an admirable job taking this series down the home stretch. Unlike the last arc that involved an adventure in Western China, this arc is more character based and brings to surface something that feels like an important element to the whole messiah aspect to Hope's character. With Avengers vs. X-men looming in the not-so-distant future, the timing couldn't be more appropriate. It just needs to fit into that larger puzzle. With that in mind I give Generation Hope #16 a 4.5 out of 5. When Judas got tired of being a messiah's prison bitch, he struck a deal in secret. When Kenji felt the same way, he took a more direct approach and played mind games with his messiah. Thus proving that even in stories that are a basis for all of Western monotheism, the Japanese are still more efficient. Nuff said!

X-men Supreme Issue 47: The Good, The Bad, The Sinister Part 1 is LIVE!

The time has come for the first arc of X-men Supreme Volume 3: Ashes of Hope. This fanfiction series has had it's share of arcs thus far, but none like this! Back in X-men Supreme Volume 2: War Powers, I introduced the X-men Supreme version of Mr. Sinister. The X-men did not defeat him during their first encounter in Sinister Intent. Since then, Sinister has been biding his time and plotting with help from someone who should sound familiar to Jean Grey and fans who know her history. Well now it's time for some of Sinister's many secrets to come out! His history with the X-men and his plans for mutants as a whole is not to be missed. Throughout the history of Marvel comics, Sinister has been behind some of the most nefarious plots for the X-men. This fanfiction series will be no different and it starts with the first issue of this new arc.

Issue 47: The Good, The Bad, The Sinister

There will be many important elements to emerge from Sinister and his dealings with the X-men. Don't expect this to be the last or the most destructive. But I promise all you passionate X-men fans out there that this arc is not to be missed! As always, I strongly encourage everyone to take the time to leave a review and provide feedback. Please contact me with all your comments or questions. I'm happy to listen. Moreover, I've been concerned about the lack of traffic to my website lately. I really want this website to grow along with this fanfiction series. To do this, I'm willing to accept help from anyone willing to provide it. Got a website of your own? Let me know and I'll post it! Got a story you want to share? Let me know and I'll be happy to post it! Got some X-men art? Let me know and I'll be happy to post it! I want this website to be special and in order to accomplish that, I'll need help. So please, if you have something you would like to contribute to the world of X-men Supreme, let me know and let's make this website and this fanfiction series truly special! Excelsior!

Jack

Uncanny X-men #7 - Evolutionary Conflicts (of Awesome)

The most I know about evolutionary biology and anthropology extends to how it explains my liver function and how I an use this knowledge to process more booze. It hasn't helped me win any additional beer pong matches that I wouldn't have already won or helped me avoid taking a shit in the kitchen sink, but at times it has helped me understand certain elements of the X-men comics. You don't need to be Richard Dawkins to appreciate the role evolution plays with the X-men. You can be a middle school dropout and still understand that if you give nature enough time, it's going to evolve some pretty awesome shit. So when you create a little pocket of land where evolution has millions of years and unlimited energy akin to Game Genie cheat codes, it's going to cause the kind of shit that only Cyclops's Extinction team is equipped to deal with.

This is the essence of Tabula Rasa, the pocket world created in the Dark Angel Saga where Arcangel got the spirit of Charles Darwin shit faced and had him go crazy on a world where God's image just doesn't apply. When the Dark Angel Saga ended, Tabula Rasa remained and that fancy time bubble that allowed millions of years to pass in the same time frame as a Seinfeld rerun collapsed. This led all that fancy life to go ape-shit and abduct some overly curious humans, which prompted the Extinction Team to explore this area that's within God's blind spot and uncover it's secrets.

The previous issue spent a good deal of time uncovering those secrets while not showing much action. This was okay to a point because it explained the source of that Iron Man wannabe that showed up a few issues ago and introduced the Apex, the advanced race of intelligent humanoid creatures that look like the Predator if it were shaved and neutered. Most died when the time bubble collapsed and one of the remaining Apex met up with the X-men to explain what they're up against. Apparently, the other remaining survivor had too much free time and when he/she/it found out that the entire Apex civilization was gone, he/she/it (I'll just say he because I don't see any breasts) responded in the healthiest way possible...by creating a massive suit of death fueled by Celestial energy. I guess they didn't evolve some form of booze on Tabula Rasa.

Uncanny X-men #7 picks up after the X-men have had time to process this threat and formulate a plan that doesn't involve shitting their pants. It doesn't help that their friend, who humbly calls himself Good Apex, is such a douche-bag. He probably would have called himself Longrod Von Ironcock (assuming he has something akin to a penis) if possible. But he settles for something basic because he doesn't think non-Apex creatures can appreciate his race. So I guess evolution doesn't have a mechanism for keeping sentient life from becoming douche-bags. At least this so called Good Apex leads them to a mountain where Celestial energy is in the process of being released by his Bad Apex counterpart. Only Storm, Cyclops, Magneto, and Psylocke are on the front line. Hope, Namor, Colossus, and Illyana are busy and we don't hear from them in the entire comic. For a series that's usually pretty balanced, that's not a good sign.

You know what also isn't a good sign? More talking after the last issue was full of extended explanations about Tabula Rasa, the creatures in it, and how sentient beings that have the skin texture of elephant shit became the dominant species in this mini-world. To be fair, Kieron Gillen does link up some of the details in the previous issue with this issue. In the last issue, Good Apex explained how his people set up shop in a temple fueled by Celestial energy to keep them in a deep sleep that turned into just your typical death sleep. In this issue the X-men visit said temple and find out that Bad Apex didn't just set up shop in the unofficial tomb of the Apex, he set up shop in a monument containing all the accomplishments of his civilization. So it's part museum and part crypt. It's fitting yet still a little bit creepy.

As they journey through this creepy temple, there's more talking about the Apex and no real action. It's just walking and talking. Basically Lord of the Rings without the big ass battle scenes. However, it does help Kieron Gillen's dialog is smooth and easy to follow. It makes the excessive talking that much more bearable, but eventually they do reach their destination. The X-men and Good Apex find Bad Apex in the middle of what must be his 18th nervous breakdown. He's standing in a bed of busted up butterflies/robots/shit that doesn't have a word for it yet. It essentially is a metaphor for how fucked his world is and much it pisses him off. In this lament he calls Good Apex "unwife." Now I'm not sure what this term entails, but I'm pretty sure it would make for awesome fetish porn and/or a kick-ass episode of Jerry Springer.

Zoophiliac feelings aside, Bad Apex proves he's true to his title when he uses his Iron Man-eqsue suit to attack the X-men. So we finally get some action, but it isn't much. Bad Apex just fires a missile that blows up and makes everyone wish they were born without a head for a brief moment. It's not unlike waking up the next morning after six bottles of tequila. It's not too fair a fight from the onset. Magneto, usually adept at diverting missiles with his powers, wasn't too effective because Bad Apex apparently had a few spare million years to perfect technology that overcame simple magnetism. It's a little cheap, but that's the power of evolution I guess.

At this point when we finally get some action, the impact really isn't all that great. There was a lot of talking in this and the last issue that set up this confrontation, yet not much happened as a result. The lack of involvement from Hope, Namor, Illyana, or Colossus doesn't help either. We don't know what's going on or if they're aware of any of the shit that's taking Celestial energy and using it as toilet paper. Usually, Gillen is able to make his work pretty coherent when balancing multiple plots and characters. This is the first time where his story is getting narrow. It's not too egregious, but given the high standards that he himself set it is pretty disappointing.

The battle isn't too basic though. Despite the apparent ease with which Bad Apex took down the X-men, Psylocke mixes it up a bit by doing some ninja-style sneak attacks. It always helps that she's wearing a skin-tight uniform that shows off her ass while she's jamming a katana into an robot/disturbed sentient creature. Bad Apex still manages to shake the attack off as well as a follow-up shot from Cyclops. He boasts along the way as you would expect anyone who enjoys fucking with superheroes. So even with millions of years of evolution, making stupid quips and sounding like a pompous ass can't be naturally selected out of existence. It gives me little hope for the future of the human race.

Whereas the X-men are attempting and failing with the direct approach, Good Apex is trying something a little more subtle. He sneaks past his unwife (seriously, Gillen should copyright that shit) and tries to get to the Celestial energy that's fueling this shit. At this point Danger actually shows that she's not only sexy in a way that only Japanese fetish porn can articulate, she's useful because she creates a space suit for Good Apex to brave the danger. Despite being an arrogant creature, Good Apex is impressed and maybe a little turned on. I can't tell if these creatures get boners. But whatever the case, he tries to find the Celestial off switch. Bad Apex, having had enough fun roughing up the X-men, goes after him and attacks. I'm not sure if this counts as domestic or spousal abuse, but it has explosions so it's no worse than my uncle's third marriage.

The action definitely ramps up here because it has more of an emotional element. Good Apex clearly cares about Bad Apex and is trying to stop him from making a mistake that only a brain-damaged, tramatized being with a god-machine would make. He manages to vent a good deal of the Celestial energy. As expected, Bad Apex doesn't appreciate this and lashes out in a way that can only be compared to the way my ex-girlfriend used to attack me when I sold her jewelry for blow. Bad Apex probably would have become the Apex equivalent of OJ Simpson, but then Storm rejoined the battle and threw some lightning into the mix. That tends to help quell deranged ex-spouses (to a point).

In addition to the lightning, Storm rightfully criticizes in a rather colorful way that Bad Apex was shitting on the legacy of his entire civilization. This doesn't seem to bother Bad Apex, but since Good Apex drained all the Celestial energy he can't exactly continue with his policy of burning an entire world to a crisp. So after shaking off Storm's little lecture, Bad Apex and his pet robot disappears to regroup. It's not a typical bad-guy-getting-away type scenario. It's more a bad-guy-calling-timeout-so-he-can-find-another-way-to-fuck-with-them type scenario. It's the kind of ending that doesn't make for much closure. It actually makes the overall arc feel like it's dragging now. All we know is that Bad Apex is going to try something equally or more fucked up that will probably turn Tabula Rasa into a pile of dog shit. I want to get excited about it, but I'm just not feeling aroused by dog shit anymore.

After the previous issue, I was working under the assumption that the plots that were set up would be appropriately developed and/or blown up in this issue. There were a few explosions. There was some fighting as well. But for the most part, it was just more talking and more setup like the last issue. Like I said in my review of Uncanny X-men #6, I don't mind it when Kieron Gillen flexes his literary muscle. It's like a guy with a big dick or a woman with big tits. If you've got it, flaunt it. But like big dicks and big tits, flaunting can be distracting and in this issue there just wasn't enough substance to go along with the flaunting. It was like a rum and coke without the rum.

That's not to say there wasn't some good development here. Not only did we get some insight into the whole unwife concept for the Apex, but we also developed a new understanding for what Bad Apex is doing. This is a creature that woke up, found out that the entire Apex civilization had gone to shit, and there was nothing that could be done to save it. So Bad Apex is doing what is akin to giving Iran an H-bomb in the Marvel Universe, using Celestial energy to assemble the kind of tools of destruction that makes God wish he hadn't rested on the seventh day because it makes him look lazy. The problem is it's just not coupled with enough emotion. We know Bad Apex is pissed and Good Apex is trying to stop this overblown hissy fit. There's just not enough substance to make the reader really give a damn about where Bad Apex is coming from or enough action to make the reader overlook it.

Not a whole lot was built up here, but Kieron Gillen did succeed in moving the story forward. He's very descriptive on what the threat to Tabula Rasa is and goes out of his way to develop the Apex, but doesn't really do much for the X-men. It's still good, but it feels like too much is missing and too much ink was wasted. Now Kieron Gillen has earned a lot of leeway with the quality of his work in Uncanny X-men so I can't dock him too much for his work in this issue. But I can't give this issue the praise I want. As such, I give Uncanny X-men #7 a 3 out of 5. Two issues have been spent building up this Tabula Rasa story. That's about half an issue too long. With all this setup, I'm hoping that the next issue will make me shit out my brains and barf up my colon. Nuff said!

Sunday Rant: Avengers vs. X-men and the Jean Grey Fans it Torments

Since I don't have another review to offer this week, I figured I would try something different with this blog. I've got some liquor in me and I may or may not have snorted coffee grounds after thinking they were some left over blow, so I'm too wired to pass out. With Avengers vs. X-men inching closer and no more football as a distraction, there's a lot for us fanboys to discuss and wildly ramble about. This is Marvel's biggest event in quite some time. This is an event that has been building since House of M, a story that was told over half a freakin' decade ago. You can't fault Marvel for thinking long term and I'm looking forward to this event almost as much as a bender in Las Vegas. However, there's element that has been causing quite a stir among a certain segment of fans and Avengers vs. X-men threatens to change it in a way that will either piss them off or make them lick the mud off of the Marvel editor's shoes.

That threat has a name, Jean Grey. I've mentioned her many times in my drunken reviews. I've pointed out on various occasions how utterly fucked it is that Marvel has been using her imagery and her persona to essentially replace her. First, Emma Frost took over as the top telepath of the X-men and the de-facto fuck buddy for Cyclops. Never mind that their relationship has absolutely none of the depth that Jean had with Cyclops. It started off intriguing under Whedon, but since then writers like Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction have turned their relationship into a mix between a bad porno and an episode of Two and a Half Men. They don't show any romance. They just fuck as if that gives them more meaning than Cyclops and Jean, who raised a fucking child together and got married. But I digress.

The second and most egregious fucked-upedness that Marvel employed came in the form of Hope Summers. This is a character that was completely new when she was created in Messiah Complex. Marvel could have made her look like anything they wanted. They could have given her green skin and pink hair. They could have given her Betty White's face and Megan Fox's rack. Instead, they gave her red hair and green eyes like Jean Grey. That in and of itself isn't too fucked up because there are a lot of famous redheads in Marvel like Black Widow and Mary Jane Watson that fit that description. But none of them have the fucking Phoenix Force. And Hope has shown traces of the Phoenix Force since she was a baby. It's on panel to the point where it's not hard to ignore unless your blind, drunk, and brain damaged.

Yet Marvel insists that Hope is not Jean and will not acknowledge any connection. When it came up during their big Youtube announcement, Marvel's big wigs were completely silent. They were silent when I asked a Jean related question in a recent CBR X-POSITION. It's led some of the vocal Jean Grey fans that have managed to stay alive in the nearly 10 years since Jean Grey was killed off to express hope that Hope (no pun intended this time) will somehow lead to her return.

Now I would love for this to happen. I've grown really sick of Hope. She's a brat. She's a whiny bitch. She insists on dressing like Jean, acting like Cable, and playing the general role of a replacement character. However, that would make way too much sense. Marvel has done this before. They've teased the return of Jean Grey by connecting it with some big ass story that gets people talking. Whenever asked about it, they're silent as they're contractually obligated to be under threat of torture. Yet every instance when this has happened in recent times has turned out to be complete fucking bullshit. Everybody remember this?

Or what about this?

They both followed the same theme. Marvel hinted it and then laughed their ass off before saying "psyche!" at the end. This doesn't even get into the Phoenix Endsong and Phoenix Warsong series. While the first story was great in that it ended with Jean merging with the Phoenix, it was utterly and completely swept under the rug. Phoenix Warsong began the trend when it told a Phoenix story WITHOUT Jean Grey. And low and behold, it was poorly reviewed and didn't sell anywhere near as well as it's predecessor. You would think that Marvel would learn a lesson that having the Phoenix without Jean Grey is like having peanut butter without jelly, tits without ass, or weed without a jumbo bag of Doritos. But no. They haven't learned. They decided to pretty much cast Jean Grey aside and just use her imagery. That's like trying make shit smell like roses. It's an impossible task and a dick move.

But that's what has been done over the past few years. It all came to a head when Hope Summers returned in the epic X-men event, Second Coming. It was the first time Hope manifested the Phoenix Force in a full, Jean Grey-ish type way. She defeated Bastion and helped kick start the mutant species once more. But that moment was almost secondary to this.

Now it's not even being teased. Hope and the Phoenix Force are linked. Marvel isn't even denying that anymore. But there's still no mention of Jean Grey or how the events of Phoenix Endsong fit in if at all. They've only focused on the Phoenix Force and mention Jean Grey only as the unlucky bitch that died because of it. When Avengers vs. X-men was first hinted it, it came in the form of a Phoenix teaser.

That teaser has no mention of Jean Grey and neither has any subsequent announcement. It's gotten to the point where Marvel is starting to change the Phoenix mythos entirely and link it to other characters who never so much as uttered anything about it in decades. Case and point, Iron Fist.

So what does this all mean and why am I wasting perfectly good liquor talking about it? Well it's led me to conclude that Marvel is going to keep breaking the hearts of every Jean Grey fan in comic fandom. They're going to keep separating the Phoenix Force from her even if that means outright ignoring what happened in Phoenix Endsong. They want Jean's imagery, but they don't want to go through the trouble of bringing her back because for reasons that I can only assume are personal to the point of being a fucking phobia they don't want to bring her back. They claim they love her, but she's the fucking Phoenix and they're keeping her dead. In the same time that Jean has been dead, characters like Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Colossus, Psylocke, Thor, Cable, Hawkeye, and Sabretooth (who had his fucking head chopped off mind you) have come back to life. And they don't have the Phoenix Force. When a character whose very name implies that she comes back is kept dead, something done been horribly fucked up.

All this subtle bullshit leads me to believe that Avengers vs. X-men won't end with Jean Grey coming back in any real form. It'll probably end with the Phoenix Force being retconned or revamped to not need Jean Grey at all. It'll probably make it so Hope is a permanent replacement of sorts, one which Marvel could use as an excuse anytime someone asks about Jean Grey. It's a cop out and not a very good one. I want to believe that Marvel won't stoop to that level, but I've yet to see anything that would indicate otherwise.

Now let me disclose that I'm just a drunk here and there's definitely a chance that Marvel could prove me wrong. They could actually bring Jean Grey back with this event. They could make me have to post an equally long post apologizing for this post and offering to buy them all the beer in Frankfurt. I actually hope this happens. I usually don't want to be wrong, but this is once instance where I hope the talent at Marvel shuts me up and makes me look like a fool (as if I don't do that enough on this blog). However, given the history of Jean Grey teases I find it hard to hope otherwise until it actually happens.

So that leads me to one final prospect. A few days ago I started a thread on the CBR X-men Message Board asking if Jean doesn't return in AvX, then will that be the death knell to her fans that are constantly hoping for her return? Will they give up hope now that it looks like Jean will be dead for more than a decade? I don't base my love of Marvel comics on Jean Grey's return. I'll read, review, and embrace Avengers vs. X-men if it's awesome and the books after it. But Jean Grey remains a huge issue for Marvel fanboys of many stripes. With the Phoenix being center stage in this story, this may be the best time and the best stage to bring her back. If it doesn't happen, I don't see another chance like this coming along for a very long time. But again, I hope I'm wrong. I can't predict the future, but I can get wasted in the present. I suppose that's all we fanboys can do until Avengers vs. X-men finally arrives. Nuff said!

X-men #24 - Blood Sucking Awesome

Whenever a comic company tries to reinvent a character, it falls into one of two categories. It's either the grim and gritty version, the kind that makes a character look like they need therapy more than plot. Then there's the being-so-fucking-different-that-it's-hardly-the-same-fucking-character variety that's not just demeaning, but insulting to any readers who actually gave a damn about the character. Some characters need a reinvention. Some don't. Some are handled well. Most are horribly fucked up. Vampire Jubilee in Victor Gischler's adjectiveless X-men is the one glowing example where Marvel has reinvented a character in all the right ways.

Don't get me wrong. I loved Jubilee before she was a blood-sucking True Blood wannabe. But her character hadn't been interesting since she lost her powers in House of M. She was like David Hasselhoff of the X-books. She wasn't doing anything. She wasn't contributing anything. She was just there. If she just got her powers back, then she wouldn't have changed much. Becoming a vampire has opened the door to all sorts of new stories that have helped make her character more compelling than ever. Some of those stories have played out in the pages of Marjorie Liu's X-23 series. Others have played out in recent arcs of Victor Gischler's adjectiveless X-men.

The previous arc, the first of the post-Schism regenesis era, had her play a role that wasn't all that vital. She fought alongside Psylocke, Storm, and Utopia's official security team as they teamed up with War Machine to stop an international incident involving sentinels. While that conflict was resolved, Jubilee was abducted in the battle and completely disappeared. She was taken by another vampire named Raizo Kodo, a character that was introduced in an earlier issue when Xavier was telling Jubilee of his travels back before he was the discredited mentor he is now. Now usually when a creepy guy with a Japanese name abducts a teenage girl, it turns into the kind of story they make into anime porn. This isn't like that (sorry hentai fans). X-men #24 takes that story and continues it.

It begins in your typical vampire dungeon (again, not in the anime porn tradition so all you hentai fans really need to leave). Jubilee is prisoner in Raizo Kodo's fancy digs. He comes to her cell not claiming that her escape lies in his penis. He comes offering her animal blood, which for a vampire is like offering tofu to Ted Nugent. She's a vampire. She craves human blood and to this point she kept that under control because Wolverine gave her his blood to fight the effects. Well Wolverine isn't around and she's now in full vamp mode, meaning she's not going to settle for the Edward Cullen diet. She wants blood and Raizo can't do shit about it.

The man won't give Jubilee what she wants. She reacts in the way you would expect any teenage girl to react. She lashes out and tries to brutally murder Raizo. It's not quite as violent as a 16-year-old attacking her mother for taking away her iphone after she was caught sending pictures of her boobs to the guy with the neck tattoo that works at Costco, but it's close. Unlike said mother, Raizo is a veteran vamp and is able to fight back. He's as gentle as you would expect a vampire of his caliber. He takes her down, but makes clear that he's not trying to torment her or turn her into a Bella Swan fantasy. He's actively opposing her killer vampire instinct, which makes him more Twilight than True Blood minus the gayness.

That still begs the question. What the hell is this guy after? What's his motivation? Well he's not alone in his endeavor to turn Jubilee in a vampire vegetarian. He has his own crew of vampires that apparently went through the same process, learning to resist the urge to drink humans like a Slurpee. They call themselves the forgiven. They come off as born again Christians minus the homophobia and televangelism. They're the vampires who repent from their evil ways and for whatever reason, they want Jubilee to be one of them. Okay, I'm sure the fact that she's a hot teenage girl plays a part, but it may not be the entire reason. Just 80 percent of it. He and his crew aren't big on indoctrinating her either. They want her to choose this path, which once again makes them way more tolerant than Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. But they're still trying to wean a teenage girl off her natural instincts. They might as well try to teach a fish not to swim.

Razio tries again to talk some sense into Jubilee. He tries to play the role of a vampire Freud, explaining to her that her desire to feed on humans is part of a deeper longing to recapture what is left of her humanity. It's less creepy than the Oedipal complex or Freud's theory on penis envy, but Jubilee takes it about as seriously as most people take Ron Paul. So when he won't give her the blood she wants, she tries a different method besides wining. She tries kissing him and when that doesn't work, she tries to use the power of her vagina. Because what man can't resist the allure of teenage pussy? Well apparently Razio can. He does his dick a disservice and turns her down, leaving her to struggle with her hunger.

Now for some this may seem OOC for Jubilee and it is on many levels. Jubilee's vampirism hasn't been dealt with like this before and to this point, she's never shown this kind of struggle. It's only been mildly touched on how using Wolverine's blood has fought off her transformation. Now it hasn't just been brought to surface. It's been overplayed without any build-up. In the last issue she was just your normal blood-sucker. Now she's having all these issues with her new instincts. Both her fangs and her vagina are working against her. It's a twist on her character that's intriguing, but it happens really fast and without any development from the other X-men. They haven't even been mentioned yet and at this point in the comic, it's starting to feel like less an X-men comic and more Marvel's way of saying "Take this True Blood and Twilight fans!"

OOC or not, Jubilee is left in her dungeon with a glass of animal blood. She still looks like a girl who has been given time out for showing her boobs to a school bus of 3rd graders. All her efforts to beat/seduce Razio have been ineffective. Now normally this is the point where you start to suspect that a guy like Razio has an ulterior motive and it's only a matter of time before he goes from Edward Cullen to Eric Northman. But the more he talks, the more sincere he sounds. He's like the Professor Xavier of vampires, trying to get vampires off their murderous ways and on a more righteous path. Since Jubilee is an X-man, it would help if she's on that path. However, she's not going to make it easy on anybody.

Eventually, another one of Razio's Forgiven vampire buddies attempts to chat up Jubilee. He tries opening with a joke about sunshine and unicorns. It goes over about as well as a Britney Spears T-shirt at a Pantera concert. This guy ends up being as ineffective as Razio and twice as incompetent. He allows Jubilee to get the jump on him and she attacks, knocking him out and taking the fancy solar deflecting necklace that allows vampires to walk in broad daylight. With this she runs out of the dungeon and into the wild where she can prey on as many gullible humans as possible. Since she's a cute Asian chick, it's almost a given that they're going to be caught off guard.

While most would be pissed enough to cut off heads when a prisoner escapes, Razio doesn't show much concern. He doesn't even chew out his buddy who was dumb enough to get bested by a teenage girl. He claims that Jubilee will come back on her own and that being an X-men made her too good to start randomly eating strangers. It sounds like Iran saying "We don't have any nuclear bombs! We're just trying to make nuclear power!" But it's not long before Jubilee gets her chance. She finds some random male villager who like most young men are thanking the gods when a cute teenage girl randomly walks up to them. She attempts to seduce him and feed on him, but at the last moment she stops when she doesn't see her reflection in a mirror. This becomes the alcoholic equivalent of a moment of clarity for her. I've yet to have one, but I hear they're pretty fucked up.

Showing that she hasn't become a blood-sucking psychopath just yet, Jubilee leaves the boy undrained and runs back to Razio. So his suspicions about her were right. She is halfway decent enough to not go on a killing spree. He takes her back with open arms, not coming off as too creepy. She asks for his help. Usually, that's another chance for a captor to say to a teenage girl that all the help she needs resides within his penis. But he still hasn't resorted to that trick. Too bad because it works great on girls who have had a few too many drinks. He continues to claim that he wants to help her. Not a lot has happened to indicate that he has any other plans. It would be nice if there were because it makes him come off as too good and too boring at times. This is an X-man comic, or it's supposed to be. When a random stranger claims to help, that's usually a sign that he's going to screw you over in a way that would put Bernie Madoff to shame.

It isn't until the last fucking page that the X-men finally show up. They don't really do much and we haven't seen any hint of what they've been up to. We just see a few panels that show them beating up a bunch of vampires in their search for Jubilee. Really, that's about it. They don't come up with any clues as to where she is. They just restate their intent to find her. So nothing really happens. And the title of the book is X-men. Not Jubilee and her Blood-Sucking Buddies. While the story with Jubilee was nicely fleshed out, the near absence of the X-men and their utter lack of progress in this story just feels off. It leaves some hope for the next issue, but it ends this issue with a feeling of missed opportunities.

Now I appreciate what Victor Gischler is trying to do here. Hell, I don't blame him for it. Vampire Jubilee was his creation. He's the one who turned her into the source of so many Twilight jokes on this blog when he made her a blood-sucker in his inaugural Curse of the Mutants arc. Her transition from awkward mutant teen into awkward teen vampire/X-man has been one of the most compelling aspects of adjectiveless X-men. So telling a story that centers around her vampirism catching up with her makes sense. But the way it's told in this issue is done in a way that makes this feel like less an X-man comic and more an anomaly of sorts.

Don't get me wrong. It's a well-told story on Gischler's part. He just doesn't effectively mix it with the overall theme of this series. It's supposed to be X-men, namely the Utopia security team led by Storm and Psylocke. The last arc demonstrated this perfectly. This issue might as well be in another time zone. The X-men don't even show up until the final pages. We get no sense of what they're doing or how others are reacting to Jubilee's disappearance. Pretty much the whole issue is spent showing Jubilee struggling with her vampire while Raizo and his crew try to wean her off her sadistic tendencies. It's compelling and all, but part of what made the last arc so great was how Gischler fit it into the larger X-men universe. This doesn't seem to fit at all. It may fit with later issues, but this issue on it's own is really weak in terms of feeling like a full X-book.

There's still a lot to like about this issue. If you're a Jubilee fan, this issue should give you a fairly large boner. If you're an X-men fan in general, you probably won't find much to get excited about. It's still a decent story, one that mixes Marvel's world of vampires with the X-men. It just doesn't mix it very well. I like what Gischler is doing here and I think his work now is better than it's been at any point in this series. But for X-men #24, I can only give a 3 out of 5. It's a good story, but it's very narrow and doesn't feel like it belongs in an X-book. Vampire lovers will probably find this as a nice go-between until the next season of True Blood. X-men fans will just read this and continue thinking "When the fuck is Avengers vs. X-men going to get here?" It has potential, but it'll need more than Twilight jokes to realize it. Nuff said!

X-men Supreme Issue 47: The Good, The Bad, The Sinister Part 1 PREVIEW

X-men Supreme Volume 3: Ashes of Hope is off to an eventful start. This fanfiction series has set up some important plots with previous arcs. Some have been revisited. Others haven't. Well as it turns out, X-men Supreme Volume 3: Ashes of Hope hasn't had it's first official multi-part arc yet. So what better time than the return of Mr. Sinister? You saw him make his mark in X-men Supreme Volume 2: War Powers with Sinister Intent. Now he's back and the lingering mystery surrounding one of the X-men's most famous foes is set to be revealed! And rest assured, he won't be alone. The end of Sinister Intent offered some clues as to who he's involved with. The previous issue offered another. It's ready to come together in this crucial moment of this fanfiction series! It begins in an arc entitled The Good, The Bad, and the Sinister. As such, I've prepared an extended preview to offer a hint of what you can expect from this important arc of X-men Supreme.

Professor Charles Xavier sighed as he used the remote control to turn off the TV. He still found himself dwelling on the visions, but for now it would be best for everybody if he shifted his attention to more worldly matters.


“Take the rest of this data and secure it in the archives, Hank. I’ll get back to it later,” said the Professor as he wheeled back over to his desk.


“Of course, Charles,” said Hank with a strong sense of relief, “What are you going to do now? Will it involve other alien riddles?”


“Let us hope not,” he said with a humored grin, “I’m going to give Lilandra a call. I hope my brief absence hasn’t worried her too much.”


“I’m sure she’ll forgive you if she’s that into you,” grinned Logan, “You’d be surprised what women are willing to forgive for a guy they have the hots for. Just ask Jeannie.”


“I hope you’re right, Logan. After all, it would be nice to have something other than conflict to look forward to.”


Hank and Logan were starting to head out while the Professor was reaching for the phone. But just as he was about to grab it, the phone started ringing. It caught him, as well as Logan and Hank, by surprise.


“Damn, she really is psychic. She misses you already,” grinned Logan.


“That would be nothing short of remarkable if this were her. But it appears to be an unknown number.”


“Maybe she wants to surprise you,” shrugged Logan, “Woman like to do that.”


“Since when did you become such an expert on women, Logan?” said Hank cynically.


“Who said I was an expert? I just call ‘em like I see ‘em!”


Xavier rolled his eyes as he answered. But before he could even say hello he heard a strange voice on the other end.


“Don’t say a word, Charles. Just put Logan on the phone right now.”


It was a voice he didn’t recognize, but it didn’t sound friendly. His expression quickly grew grim as he turned back towards Logan and Hank, were just about to exit his office. He had a very bad feeling about this.


“Logan wait,” he said, “It’s for you.”


“For me?” said Logan in confusion, “What the hell could that Lilandra woman want with me?”


“It isn’t Lilandra,” he said, “I don’t know who it is.”


Logan quickly grew suspicious as well. He never got phone calls. Because of his history with the government, he tried to keep a low profile here. Xavier made it a point to ensure there was no contact information or public records that could tie him here. So if someone knew he was here, chances were it wasn’t a good sign.


“Let me see!” growled Logan as he stormed over to the desk and grabbed the phone.


With no sense of phone etiquette whatsoever, he put it to his ear and barked his response.


“Who the hell is this?!” he demanded.


“Heya old buddy. It’s been a while.”


Logan’s expression contorted in a rage as soon as he heard that all too familiar voice.


“Sabretooth!”


“Nice to hear from you too, runt! I’d love to catch up on these past few months, but we still got a score to settle! You and me never finished that little ‘conversation’ back in Canada. And if you aren’t a complete fucking coward you’ll listen up and meet me where I say you will! I’m ready to finish this, just you and me, Logan! Question is, are you?”


Logan clenched his fists and snarled, earning worried glances from the Professor and Hank. As soon as they heard it was Sabretooth, they knew it was trouble.


“Logan, tell me what’s going on?” urged Professor Xavier.


But Logan didn’t listen. He just turned away and growled into the phone.


“Where do you wanna do this bub? Better make it remote because when you’re gonna be screaming like a baby when I’m through with you!”


“Don’t worry. I’ve got the perfect place. Just do as I say and come alone. I don’t want no X-men getting in my way! This is between you and me, Wolverine! Let’s keep it that way!”

I know I've introduced some new characters thus far for X-men Supreme Volume 3: Ashes of Hope. I also know that I usually try to keep the bios up to date when that happens. I haven't been able to due largely to concerns about spoilers. Well after the events of The Good, The Bad, and the Sinister I should finally be able to add some new bios. I want to keep this series comprehensive so that new readers can catch up easily. X-men Supreme is supposed to be a fanfiction series that any fan can get into. There are plenty more stories to tell and some major revelations up ahead. I hope you all enjoy it! Please contact me if you have any questions or feedback. Until then, take care and best wishes. Excelsior!

Jack