Saturday, June 13, 2015
American Woman - An Emma Frost/Captain America Story
It's almost the 4th of July here in America and I'm feeling a little extra patriotic. As much as I enjoy celebrating with beer, barbecue, and blowing shit up with fireworks, I think I need to do a little something more to celebrate all things American. So like Ron Swanson at a bacon eating contest, I do what I feel I can do best.
Now on this blog, I've given Captain America plenty of shit. I still think he was the primary asshole in the events leading up to Avengers vs. X-men. However, I don't doubt that he's Marvel's paragon of patriotism. He has to be to balance out Tony Stark's greedy, alcohol-fueled whoring. But there's no doubt that Captain America is an icon. He's had two kick-ass movies and he's got a third coming up that might as well be Avengers 2.5 with all the characters involved. He represents so much about what makes America awesome so how can we possibly reward him for his dedication? Enter Emma Frost.
Let's face it, if the beauty of America took form and substance, Emma Frost would be it. She's an all-American woman from the Northeast. She loves freedom and she enjoys exercising it in ways that would make uptight British snobs vomit uncontrollably while they fight the urge not to jerk off. If there's anyone qualified to reward Captain America for championing the freedom we all enjoy, it's her.
So I've written a quick one-shot story that has Emma Frost giving Captain America the all-American loving he deserves. Part of the idea came from an issue of A+X where Emma Frost had some very naughty thoughts about Captain America after teaming up with him. That's to be expected. Emma Frost had just broken up with Cyclops and I imagine she hadn't been laid in a while. And since Captain America is the epitome of male physical perfection, I think she has a right to get a little turned on by it. So this is the story of Captain America getting a very fitting reward.
I hope this helps get everyone in a patriotic mood. Recent politics aside, there's a lot to love about America. We don't just have the freedom to pursue happiness. We have the freedom to be both a hero and an asshole. It's a core American value that I'll be sure to celebrate this summer as best I can. It's also a core value that hard work and dedication should be rewarded. I think after a night with Emma Frost, even Captain America has a greater appreciation of such values. Nuff said!