X-Sanction #1 - A Time for New Awesome

A Marvel comic book penned by Jeph Loeb is like going to a whore house blindfolded and randomly picking someone to fuck. Sometimes you'll get a supermodel style babe with an ass so nice you could paint the Mona Lisa on it. Sometimes you'll get butt-ugly transvestite with a botched boob job, a botched face-lift, and breath that stinks of gasoline and herpes. Loeb is one of those writers who is great at telling certain stories and cock-smashingly awful at others. When he's in his element like with Hulk, he's one of Marvel's top talents. When he's allowed to do too much like with Ultimate, he ruins everything he touches. So it is with a certain mix of excitement and trepidation that I give his X-Sanction mini a chance.

Some are too young or too stoned to remember that Jeph Loeb once wrote Cable. This was back before he teamed up with Deadpool and was neutered by becoming Hope Jean rip-off Summers's adopted father. He was basically a lone soldier who occasionally kicked ass for the X-men or just for the hell of it. It was a different kind of Cable that most readers today probably don't identify with, but damn it if Loeb's take on him didn't work. Now he has a chance to make Cable awesome again and the premise is as volatile as it is fucked up.

The last time we saw Cable he "died." I say "died" with quotations because in the Marvel universe death is no worse than a bad case of the runs. You may be incapacitated for a while, having to lock yourself in the bathroom and declare the surrounding area a toxic waste dump, but you eventually come up with only a slightly burned asshole. But Cable didn't exactly die from a shotgun blast to the head or anything. He was caught in a time portal between the future and the present. He disappeared with Hope crying like the whiny bitch she would eventually become. There was no body to bury. And as everyone knows, if there's no body the guy isn't dead. He's just MIA. Now with the recent announcement of Avengers vs. X-men where Hope Summers is destined to be a big part of it, Cable can't let a little something like death stop him. He still has to protect her. That's where X-Sanction comes in and that's the story Jeph Loeb has to tell.

X-Sanction doesn't begin with Cable. It begins with his targets, the Avengers. All the heavy hitters are present including Spider-Man, Wolverine, Iron Man, Red Hulk, Falcon, and Captain America. It's your typical Thursday night for the Avengers. Some underpaid prison transport fell asleep on the job and let a couple of superpowered villains loose. I know people say a lot of bad things about the American prison system. We lock stoners up with murderers, but you would think that even in a world of fiction they would have the good sense to be careful with superpowered criminals. Guess the economy is just that bad. That or effective transport wasn't in the budget. Still want to cut government spending Tea Party people?

The battle is nothing spectacular and why should it be? These are the Avengers against escaped prisoners like Tornado. They have about as much chance at toppling the Avengers as the St. Louis Rams have of beating the Green Bay Packers with their scout team. But this little skirmish is just a backdrop. It's a little glossed over, but for good reason. After Captain America lays out Tornado in typical Cap fashion, Falcon goes missing. In horror movies, when the token black character goes missing it usually means trouble and a firmly worded letter from Al Sharpton. In this case, Captain America leaves his Avenger buddies behind to go after his pal. This is the last you see of the other Avengers. Again, it's glossed over to a point, but it's the first fucking issue. You can't expect every molecule to be given a life story.

The revelation isn't too startling unless someone had enough brain damage to not look at the cover of the book before reading it. If in fact someone has that much brain damage, I probably shouldn't be making jokes about it because shit starts to get serious here. Cable is back. He's alive, he's pissed off, and he just took out an Avenger and dragged him through a sewer with the full knowledge that his super-powered buddies would come after him. But he's not doing it just for kicks. He soldier. He has a mission. And it's made clear in a very powerful image that the last thing he saw before he "died" was Hope. It's a nice way of connecting this story to the events of X-men Second Coming. It shows that while some loose ends are easier to forget than others, others haven't been forgotten.

Now this is an important moment for anyone who has been following the events of X-men since Second Coming. It's also important to those who criticize Jeph Loeb for essentially rejecting continuity and forcibly imposing his own, ignoring how many are pissed off as a result. In this he actually connects Cable's mission to what happened at the end of that event way back in the dark days of 2010. He could have ignored those details and pulled any number of things out of his ass, but he didn't. He saw what that story did with Cable and he ran with it. For that, he deserves more due credit than most will ever give him.

Captain America, still ignoring the rest of his Avenger buddies while they take care of the prison break, tracks Falcon down to an anchored cargo ship. It's the city equivalent of an old house built on Indian burial grounds, satanic rituals, and abortion clinics. Loeb doesn't waste too much time with finer details, as is his style. He just gets Cap into the same room as Cable as quickly as possible and that's not a bad thing by any stretch. It just means they have more pages with which to kick ass. Not only that, Cable has Falcon suspended in a bio tank rigged with C4. So if Cap tries to rescue his buddy, he blows them all to hell. That means the only way he's saving his friend is if he goes through Cable. It's only slightly more daunting than being Snooki's gynecologist.

What follows next isn't too deep, but it's not glossed over either. When you put two hardened soldiers in a confined area and give them reasons to be pissed at one another, it damn well ought to be a kick ass fight! And that's exactly what Loeb does here with help from artist Ed McGuinness. You've got two soldiers from two different eras that have to beat the shit out of each other in order to fulfill their mission. And it's painfully clear early on that Cable is not 100 percent. Remember, he still has the techno-organic virus eating his ass alive. The worse Captain America ever had to worry about was a bad case of the clap in World War II. He can barely fire his gun competently so Cap has the early advantage.

But that advantage doesn't last. Cable has dealt with the techno-organic virus before and after several glorious pages of hero on hero action that could make an awesome porno if two hot women were involved, Cable gets the upper hand. He actually uses Captain America's own shield against him, both to protect himself and to keep Cap on his toes. It works because Cable is more willing to fight dirty. He'll throw in a few low blows and maybe even bite a few ears Mike Tyson style if that's what the mission requires. He's able to knock Cap out, showing that while Captain America may be all red, white, and blue he's still as vulnerable to a blow to the head as anyone else.

Now Cable had the edge because he was much more determined and had way more to lose. And it wasn't just because of the techno-organic virus that's killing him either. Why is he so determined? Well that's another detail that Jeph Loeb didn't gloss over. During the battle we get a few flashbacks (or flashforwards since time is so fucked up in the Marvel universe) that show what happened to Cable after the end of Second Coming. Apparently, he didn't die. He was just transported to a future. There, he met up with mysterious man with a racially charged name, Blaquesmith. Now before Al Sharpton gets involved, Blaquesmith gives Cable some very bad news. His mission to protect Hope didn't exactly stop the future from going to hell. In fact, it made everything worse. This is where Jeph Loeb makes yet another connection. In a recent giant sized issue called Point One, Marvel revealed that the Phoenix Force was on a rampage again. It was able to essentially purge an entire world and look awesome doing it. Well in the future Cable travels to, that happens to Earth. And the reason it happens is because Hope wasn't there to stop it. Why? Well apparently the Avengers are the main reason. They took her so she couldn't be the messiah she needed to be. For Cable, that's all the reason he needs to end their shit. And you know what? It's a damn good reason.

I'll take a moment to compliment Jeph Loeb again. I know it's becoming an ugly habit, but he deserves such praise with this for all the right reasons. Not only did he make a connection to the past with this scene. He also set the stage for the future. X-Sanction was announced before Avengers vs. X-men. Not much was revealed about the plot and now we know why. This story in one issue shows what's at stake. With both Point One and Second Coming, the threat of the Phoenix is beating into the reader's head like a Catholic nun to a kid who hides Playboys in his desk. It's a message worth reinforcing because the Phoenix Force is one of Marvel's threats that's near the top of the not-to-be-fucked-with list.

Back in the present, Captain America in a very special chair that old school Uncanny X-men fans may recognize. It's not enough to just kill Captain America when he's unconscious. Keep in mind, Cable has to have bait for the rest of the Avengers. Cable makes it clear to Cap that he didn't just wake up one morning and think it would be fun to kill the Avengers. He's doing it because they're going to royally fuck up the future for what they do to Hope. As an adopted father and a guy who is mighty sick of dystopian futures, he just can't let that shit slide and the issue ends with an ominous hint of just how serious Cable is. It's implied that he shot Captain America in the head, but there's no blood splattered visual so it may be a different shot. What does it mean? Well unfortunately we'll have to wait until 2012 to see. Is it so wrong to want Christmas to be over already?

And so this most basic of stories ends with the most basic of noises, that noise being a gunshot. It's not clear if the shot is from Cable's gun or someone else who thinks it's not cool to shoot Captain freakin' America in the head. But that's the beauty of it. That final scene is all you need to want to see the next issue. It's not like an episode of Lost where you want to see the next episode just to make sense of the convoluted plot from the past six. You want to see it because you want to see what happens next. It's simple. It's clean. The retard who eats paste in 1st grade can understand it just as much as the Korean valedictorian that spent all of high school functioning on two hours of sleep. Nothing is blown up. Nothing is overly destroyed. It's just a simple plot of Cable having the balls to take on the Avengers and having a damn good reason to do so.

Now I'll go on record as saying that I had no faith in Jeph Loeb after his Ultimate work. I was prepared to blow a federal judge or twenty to get a restraining order that would prevent him from ever writing another Marvel comic again. Luckily, it never came to that. I may be a drunk, but I'm not an unreasonable drunk. I'm willing to give a writer a chance if the story and the premise are good. Jeph Loeb walked into a major story here. This is the prelude to Avengers vs. X-men, Marvel's equivalent of a heavyweight title fight that Don King would have injected crack into his eye socket in order to promote. And Loeb pulls it off and does a damn good job of it. So with both relief and elation, I praise him for making this first issue awesome. The dialog may be flat and the finer details may be overlooked at times. But in the end it's a worthy first issue and that's really the best you can hope for with a story like this.

Jeph Loeb still has an uphill battle ahead of him. His propensity for cheesy dialog have brought down promising stories before. So has his inability to deal with the little things in a story. After Captain America and Cable clashed, the rest of the characters were pretty much forgotten. Some scenes were glossed overs while others were overly drawn out, but it wasn't terribly egregious. It's the first damn issue. I'm willing to give Loeb the benefit of the doubt for once because he's been so good at making Cable a likable badass. So with more than just a sliver of hope, I give X-Sanction #1 a 4.5 out of 5. Loeb has everything he needs to make this series awesome and he has three issues to show he can do it. And for once, I don't need six bottles of tequila to be optimistic. Nuff said!

Uncanny X-men Heroic Age - Setting The Stage For Awesome

Well Second Coming is over. Every issue has been released and anybody with an internet connection knows what happened at this point. Marvel billed this as the biggest X-event of the decade and while it's debatable whether or not it lived up to that hype, there's no denying the impact of this crossover. It has fundamentally reshaped the X-universe through a series of explosions, killer robots, and near extinction caliber threats. It all sounds like a pretty average Wednesday for the X-men, but the scale of such events make it impossible to carry on the story as had been done previously. So like stripper that just got new breast implants, the X-men comics need to rethink the way they conduct their business.

Enter Uncanny X-men: The Heroic Age. This one-shot written by Matt Fraction is essentially the epilogue and the prologue to the next phase in X-men comics. If you're looking for an epic battle or a huge struggle against the forces of good and evil, pack your bags and go move in with Michael Bay because you won't get that here. But if you're looking for some character development between some of the key players in Second Coming, grab some popcorn and whatever exotic substances you happen to have nearby (shrooms may make the characters turn into lizards just so you know) because this comic is all about personal growth.

The book focuses on three characters: Cyclops, Beast, and Hope. Each underwent their share of hardships in Second Coming, although Beast really didn't do a whole lot other than piss and moan to Cyclops. But his role is understandable since he was such a vocal critic of how Cyclops was conducting himself. It still seems a bit whiney though. The very first part sets the stage for what these characters go through. It starts with another Beast/Cyclops argument, which for the past few years seem to happen ever few issues or so. There isn't much new here. Beast tells Cyclops he's leaving...again. He also points out that he's crossed too many lines. That's debatable, but Beast makes his message clear. Make love and not war. Yeah, a guy that smart and the best he could come up with is an old catch phrase from the 60s forged in the Vietnam war, free love, and shit tons of LSD. I was disappointed too.


Cyclops is understandably upset. This is one of his oldest friends and he isn't so callous that he totally brushes him off. He genuinely seems conflicted in the sense that Beast may be right. So what does he do to address it? Simple, he needs to clear his head. How does he do that? Does he go and get plastered like Wolverine? Does he call up Emma Frost for a six hour fuckfest in a recreation of the porno classic "All My Titties and Cock: Juggertits Revenge?" No, he goes on a little vacation to the Savage Land to beat up some killer dinosaurs. As much as I love "All My Titties" this is still pretty damn awesome. If you're a PETA supporter, you may want to look away. But hey, it's how the man unwinds. After the shit he's been through, he deserves a pass from the animal rights crowd.


Beast sees the need to unwind as well, albeit in a far less awesome manner. He goes to a zoo while listening to podcasts. It makes about as much sense as it sounds. He claims to be waiting for his girlfriend, which for anybody who has forgotten about Astonishing and SWORD is Abigail Brand. However, she does the standard bitch thing and stands him up, forcing him to stand awkwardly while he tries to make sense of the bullshit he's jumped in. It looks like he needs a pep-talk from a fellow hero, but instead he gets a visit from a little girl named Molly Hayes. Yeah, she's the same Molly Hayes who has all the strength of Colossus and with all the immaturity of a twelve-year-old. She needs help on a report and yet somehow this is supposed to help Hank make sense of his life. If Marvel is trying to teach kids the value of homework, this is a shitty way to make their point.

But Molly isn't the only immature teenager getting a pep talk. Hope Summers, the mutant messiah from whom the entire Second Coming event was spun from, is still as messed up as you would expect a 17-year-old girl raised in an apocalyptic future by a guy with the social aptitude of Ted Kazinski. As is recommended for all time travelers fresh from a near-fatal encounter with killer robots, Hope gets a checkup from none other than Reed Richards of the Fantastic Four. It's worth noting here that Second Coming did not reveal a whole lot about who Hope was and what she's capable of. This is the first time she's been put under a microscope, but it's not for answers. It's just a checkup, or so they say. Either way, Hope looks about as comfortable as a guy hearing about the treatment options for stage 4 rectal cancer.


If Hope could switch positions with Cyclops, she probably would. Attacking a hoard of killer dinosaurs seems far more preferable to a standard post-time travel doctors visit. The X-leader keeps relaxing as he's so inclined to do in a place like the Savage Land. At one point he's cornered and looking for a way to break out. That's when he gets a visit from probably the only person qualified and respectable enough to give him a pep talk...Captain America. No, I'm not talking about the Bucky Barnes version. I'm talking about Steve Fucking Rogers. Yeah...that Captain America. Whenever this guy talks, people listen and that includes Cyclops.


While this makes for an awesome meeting of the minds between legendary leaders, the exchange between Beast and Molly makes for the kind of insight that just barley matches the graffiti on public restrooms (the ones that aren't just drawings of dicks that is). Beast goes onto give a little lecture to Molly, explaining what it means to be extinct and how Hope's return will do jack shit for the mutant race. That's the kind of pessimism you don't want to give a twelve-year-old raised on Disney movies and after school specials telling them everything is possible if they just put their mind to it (spoiler alert: it isn't). Yet Beast still acts surprised when Molly calls him a jerk. Really? I thought this guy was supposed to be smart.


Jerk or not, Beast is still in a better position than Hope Summers. She's still undergoing the Dr. House treatment with the Fantastic Four. She's basically catching up on 17 years of overdue medical care and that's every bit as comfortable as it sounds. Lucky for her, Franklyn Richards is there to keep her company. The kid is a little too happy-go-lucky though. Hope just lost her surrogate father and is in an overgrown MRI machine that is taking snapshots of her innards. He does give her some decent advice though. In this Franklyn one-ups Beast in terms of pep talks. You know a character is in trouble when a kid who can't even drive yet can make your social skills look stupid.


Steve Rogers goes onto make Beast look increasingly foolish by giving Cyclops an Oscar worthy rendition in terms of pep talks, minus the bullshit from the academy of course. He's able to put the X-men into a perspective that Cyclops seems to have forgotten. The X-men are heroes. He needs to start thinking of them as heroes. That may sound easy, but considering how Cyclops has conducted himself with the X-men over the past few years it makes perfect sense. He's been acting like the general of an army when that's not what the world needs. The X-men have always been heroic in nature and that's the identity they need. And since Steve Rogers is the least douchiest person in the comic book world, he offers his help to Cyclops. If Oprah were watching, she would give everybody another new car.


Not to come off as a completely incompetent douche-bag, Hank does salvage some of his credibility with Molly. Even if mutants are doomed and Hope doesn't save their race, it just makes their lives that much more meaningful. They have to make a much bigger impact if history is to remember them. It's a nice message and all, but it's still assuming that they're all doomed. If Beast were a motivational speaker, he would fired and his books would be publicly used as toilet paper. Molly still gives him a hug and all, but the guy still comes off as a pessimistic jerk. He's not just an ardent realist. He's fatalist, no better than the assholes who claim America is in decline. Doesn't matter if they're right or wrong, they're still assholes even if twelve-year-olds hug them.


It's more than Reed can expect from Hope. He finally finishes his tests and she's still got some catching up to do. She needs vaccinations, dental work, and meds to deal with her rickets. It's actually kind of awesome in the sense that these seem like real maladies that one may have to deal with after spending 17 years in the future. You don't get those kinds of details in comics when they deal with time travel. It may not seem like a big deal, but it really humanizes the story and that's big for a book like this.

But even with a good prognosis, that leads to another disturbing question that Second Coming didn't answer. Richards needs some background on her biological family to figure out if there are any more anomalies. Unfortunately, Hope's family (if she had any) was slaughtered back during Messiah Complex. That is still a mystery among many with Hope and if Reed Richards is puzzled then that's a pretty bad sign that something shitty is up.


It's not just bad for the eggheads in the room. It's bad for Hope as well. She's got enough on her plate with Cable being dead and every mutant in the world relying on her to reinvigorate the species. She was never told anything about her parents and very few hints were ever dropped about them. It seems like an important question to answer before she takes this whole Mutant Messiah bit seriously. So she makes a conscious decision right then and there. She's going to go to Alaska and find her family.


While this sets the stage for another story, some of the more pressing matters are laid to rest. When Steve Rogers said he was going to lend a hand to Cyclops with respect to making the X-men heroes again, he fucking meant it. The man is true to his word and not in the Joker kind of way either. He manages to pull some strings and gets the president (who of course is never shown in comics) to give Cyclops the Presidential Metal of Freedom. It's a big reward that acknowledges for once that this guy saved an entire city and a race on the brink of extinction. Even though many Cyclops haters out there will start cutting themselves emo style when they see this, it's hard to argue that the man hasn't earned it.


In terms of PR, this is better than saving 100 little orphan girls and their pet kittens from a burning building. The X-men are celebrated by the entire city of San Francisco as heroes. It's better than the gay pride parade and Mardi Gras put together. For once, it's a happy ending for the X-men and one that was long overdue. It seems every time another event ends, it leaves things even worse for the good guys. Not this time. For once, the X-men are given the hero treatment and it feels so good.


It would have been a nice way to end the comic, but there was one loose end to tie up. During Second Coming, Hope said on more than one occasion that she hated Cyclops with every fiber of her being. As the mutant messiah, that's like being on Jesus's shit list and that's never a good thing. So Cyclops understandably seeks to patch things up with Hope. It doesn't happen all at once and that's a good thing. But Cyclops still makes an admirable effort to prove to Hope that he's going to take care of her and he's going to be there for her just as Cable was. And remarkably, she doesn't make another ghastly face like the one Greg Land drew in X-men Legacy. Cyclops shows that he's shifted in his methods, not just barking orders anymore. When Hope says she wants to find her family in Alaska, he agrees. He lets her make the decision and Hope smiles. It's a nice way to show these two characters coming together and making amends. The fact that Hope is a redhead should also make Emma Frost very uncomfortable.


So from here, the next stage is set and it's going to pick up in Uncanny X-men next month. In terms of resolution, this was pretty damn good. However, only two-thirds of it can really be considered awesome. That's because for all intents and purposes, Beast's little side-plot was practically meaningless. At least with Hope and Cyclops, there was some growth in their characters. With Beast, there was nothing. He had a chat with Molly and that was it. He never showed any reservation about leaving the X-men. He never showed any second thoughts with regards to what he said to Cyclops. He essentially came off as the only douche-bag yet he's supposed to be the one with all the ethics. It's pretty fucked up and makes his contribution to the comic about as important as a feather duster in a coal mine.

On top of that there was no further elaboration on Hope's abilities while she was getting checked up by Reed Richards. You would think a guy as smart as him would take time to make sense of all that power she unleashed, especially if it involved the Phoenix Force. But he didn't. Her powers were never even mentioned. Even her DNA wasn't mentioned either. If they had that, couldn't they determine what that meant for her mutation? Couldn't they also use that to see if she had any relations to other X-men? Like say another redhead with green eyes and a history of Phoenix related incidents? It is a serious shortcoming, but unlike the Beast plot it is understandable. This is a mystery that isn't going to be solved in one issue. The story of who Hope is and what she can do is going to be milked like an overgrown tit until it withers into nothing. That's how Marvel does things. It would be nice if there had been some clues, but it's still not worth condemning the book over.

Overall Uncanny X-men: Heroic Age was a feel-good conclusion to Second Coming and a nice little trailer for the next string of events. If you don't get excited for the next string of X-comics, give yourself a shot of adrenaline and run naked through the streets because you have serious issues. Were it not for the lousy Beast scenes, this book would get a perfect score. But because of those shortcomings, I can only give this title a 4 out of 5. It's still a decent comic. Just cut out the Beast scenes with Molly and it's perfect! Nuff said.

X-men Second Coming: Hellbound #3 - Hellish Yet Awesome

With so many big events emerging as a result of X-men Second Coming it's easy to forget that there's another plot going on related to the crossover. That plot has essentially been swallowed up like an ice cream cake at a weight watchers conventions. How couldn't it be when basically nothing in the story has any effect on the bigger issues with Hope, Cyclops, and Bastion? Granted, it's hard to tie everything together when the X-men involve so many characters. But still, just a slight connection would have been helpful. That way when you see this comic on the rack you don't think to yourself "Oh yeah! There's that Hellbound thingy going on! Now where the fuck is fourth re-print of Wonder Woman #600?" The final issue caps the last of the Second Coming related books and despite the lack of connections, it's still pretty decent.

It continues without missing a beat from the previous issue, which granted feels like it came out when the first George Bush was still in office (the only partially-retarded one). Sam and his contingent of X-men are fighting through Limbo in an effort to rescue Illyana and along the way, Pixie falls into old habits with N'Astrirh (the least pronounceable name this side of Japan). He's tempted her the same way a pedophile tempts kids with promises of free candy hidden in a secret pocket in his pants, saying he'll give her back the part of her soul he took if she harvests Magik's soulsword. This unfortunately, involves surgically ripping it out in a way that would igve Hannibal Lectre a boner.


While Pixie is getting a lesson in stranger danger, Sam is getting a lesson in FUBAR (Fucked UP Beyond All Recognition for you non-military types). As if fighting off hoards of Limbo demons wasn't hard enough, Gambit has taken on the mantle of Death again. Being in Limbo just brings out the worst in people it seems and he can't help but spread the joy the same way Tommy Lee spreads Hepatitis. He already corrupted Northstar and Dazzler in the previous issue. Now he sets his sights on Sam. But it isn't all typical Cajun douche-baggery. Gambit's Death persona also took control of the hoards of demons that had been attacking, thus changing the nature of the battle. It's a dick move, but only semi when you think about it. That means Sam and Anole have to adapt and see if they'll have to decapitate Gambit later on.


So the heat is on and while the demon hoards are shifting their allegiance faster than Mel Gibson's fanclub, Pixie confronts the still bound Magik who happens to be in a position all those cute girls in Japanese anime porn are in before they're violated in so many perverse ways. Since this isn't Japan, nothing that crazy happens. In fact, what ends up happening is the least surprising surprise in Second Coming thus far. Pixie doesn't rip the soulsword out of Magik. She stabs N'Astrirh instead. Yeah, I was about as shocked by that as I was when I heard that Rickey Martin was gay.


So that's one problem solved. N'Astrirh is about as meaningful as a promise from Bernie Madoff. Now Pixie faces another challenge in Gambit's Death hoards. Apparently, the whole Death persona has gone to his head again and he uses the demons to attack both Pixie and N'Astrirh. It's kind of like solving a hostage situation by throwing a bomb at it, but damn it if it doesn't work and damn it even more if it doesn't make for an awesome battle. It also helps that Gambit looks pretty badass in the process.


The battle unfolds and it's pretty damn epic. Death Gambit takes on N'Astrirh's forces and makes him look as helpless as the Don't Taze Me Bro guy. But he also takes on Pixie as well, looking to corrupt her the same way he did with Dazzler and Northstar. He wants to corrupt her the same way Dick Cheney's soul corrupts whatever new heart he gets implanted with every few months it seems. She seems overmatched and overwhelmed, but then Cannonball enters the picture again and he does it with style. And by style, I mean a big fucking explosion.


Now it's Sam's turn to shine. Up to this point he's been about as intimidating as a box of kittens, but this is a guy who has taken on a leadership role in the X-men. That's the equivalent of being crowned champion at a bear wrestling tournament. He goes onto show that he's no slouch. He knows how to kick ass and he proves his point to Gambit, hitting him hard and fast in a beautifully scripted fight that should put a smile on anybody's face with a taste for good old fashioned comic violence. Or if you just happen to hate Gambit, this should get your rock off.


It's easy to forget that despite all this action, Illyana still isn't free. Pixie still hasn't broken her out and she's still fighting the urge to give her the OJ Simpson treatment. But again, the surprise here is painfully bland. This is Pixie we're talking about her. Marvel has been going out of their way to make her the new standard by which cute, pink-haired girls are measured who also happen to have a rack traced from a porn star (not that there's anything wrong with that). There's no way she's ever going to go dark the way Gambit has. In that sense showing any sorts of conflict in her just seems like a waste.


So yeah, another big ass surprise when Pixie frees Illyana. It doesn't make for too much of a twist and it's practically expected from the X-men's new golden girl. At least her release doesn't hurt the underlying awesome that has been established in the fight that's still going on. If anything, it heightens it because now that Illyana is free she can show that Pixie isn't the only ridiculously big-breasted teenage girl who can kick ass in an X-men comic.


Illyana's powers with the soulsword prove to be the deciding factor. As soon as she's released, it's like calling in the A-Team. She and Pixie double team Death Gambit and not in the way he's used to with teenage girls. His darker part gets blasted and overwhelmed, releasing his hold on the hoards of Limbo. It's quite a spectacle and the art really shines here as it has since the beginning of this series. The real Gambit fights his way back to the surface and sends Death Gambit back to where he belongs, but not before he drops an ominous hint implying this isn't the last we've seen of Darth Gambit.


It's a nice ending, but it's kind of weak in the sense that he doesn't really seem to pay much a price for this transformation. A few panels later he's back to his old self, which is kind of weak. When Cyclops was influenced by Apocalypse he was deeply affected. For Gambit it's like getting over a slight cough. It doesn't set anything up or show any growth in his character and that's a real missed opportunity because there is so much potential with Second Coming ending that such chances may be hard to come by in the future. The only real character growth that happens is that Pixie and Illyana seem to make amends. That's about it and for what has happened in these last three issues, that seems like settling for a bronze metal when you had every opportunity to go for the gold.


So that's it. Hellbound ends with them returning to Utopia and the book ends. They don't show Illyana reuniting with Piotr or Sam confronting Gambit. The book just ends. It's a weak ending to what has otherwise been an action packed offshoot to Second Coming. But like I said initially, it suffers from not having any clear connection to the crossover. It's like this was just a way of getting these characters to do something while the heavy hitters took on Bastion. I know it's hard to balance out so many characters in a big event, but even a slight hint of continuity would have done wonders for this and it never happened.

It's still a solid book. Writer Chris Yost once again shows that he's one of the best when it comes to writing kick-ass fight scenes with the X-men. The issue is well scripted, the dialogue is solid, and art is beautiful. If only it came out a week earlier it may have been able to distinguish itself from the rest of Second Coming. But it just couldn't measure up and for that reason X-men Second Coming: Hellbound #3 gets a 3.5 out of five. It could have been a 4 or higher if the timing had been different, but sadly Chris Yost is not on speaking terms with Doc Brown from Back to the Future. Seeing as how Yost is leaving the X-comics it's still worth picking up to enjoy what may be a fond memory in the long run because awesome comics from awesome writers are worth their weight in vibranium covered gold. Nuff said.

Second Coming #2 - The Final Verdict in Awesome

Well my scanner is up and running and as promised, I have for comic fans everywhere a full review of the last chapter of the Second Coming crossover. I know that for the last few issues I've been pretty negative if not fatalistic. The last few parts of Act III have been sub-par at best and downright laughable at worst. There were times I was so cynical I started making phone calls to the Vatican for consultations on whether or not the demon Craptastica had possessed the X-men writers at Marvel.

This was a major disappointment given how awesome the first two acts were. My biggest concern came in X-Force #28 when Hope finally showed her true power and it was not clear if this was Phoenix potential or if it was just a ruse. Well as my previous post indicated, it was no ruse. For once, Marvel followed through at least in part and it certainly helps give Second Coming a fitting ending to cap off a crossover for the ages.

But is it truly awesome on the same caliber as Blackest Night? Was it worth the years of build-up going all the way back to House of M and Messiah Complex? Well to determine that, we have to put the final piece into the puzzle and that's where X-men Second Coming #1 comes in. It's not written by just one writer. Basically, all the X-writers from Craig Kyle and Chris Yost to Mike Carey, Matt Fraction, and Zeb Wells contributed their own parts. The first one starts off predictably in that it picks up right where X-Force #28 left off with Hope hovering ominously over the X-men. She's still reeling from her bout with Bastion, but rather than cast any more ominous hints of her power she just collapses and curls up to the last surviving piece of her father...his arm. Yeah, that's a nice momento. A guys cybernetic arm. Only in Marvel can that make sense without first taking a bong hit.


When Hope wakes up, she's in the infirmary with all the other injured mutants. We get a glimpse of many who suffered some heavy blows during the fight with Bastion, most notably Colossus who had his freakin' arm broken when he was in metal form. To reset it, Beast has to apply 50 tons of force. Now normally infirmary scenes are about as eventful as watching golf on heroin. But this definitely spices it up a bit. Northstar, Iceman, and Karma all have their moments with Karma getting sexy new artificial leg. Because let's face it. Nothing is more sexy than a Vietnamese lesbian with a cybernetic leg. I'm pretty sure that's a fetish in certain parts of Japan.


The most notable scene, however, is Hope since much of this takes place from her perspective. She's lying in a bed next to Magneto and doesn't remember squat about wielding all that power (the phrase dodging the issue comes to mind). The two share some words and once again Magneto proves that he's still the creepiest old man in the Marvel universe in the way he talks to her. He says it's good to be thought of as dangerous. Only a guy like Magneto can say that and not seem completely fucked up. At least he doesn't make a pass at her. He's still working over Rogue, remember?


Hope continues to be the center of the story as there comes a brief flashback showing Hope and Cable in the future together. Hope is showing what should be genuine concern that Cable is being too reckless and could end up getting himself killed. Cable being Cable, he has to do the whole macho act and say she's not getting rid of him that easy. Is it ironic? Or a hint that maybe Cable will rear his head again soon? Death is somewhat a revolving door in the Marvel Universe. Hell, they brought back Bucky Freakin' Barns for crying out loud! This scene does little to indicate that policy has been voided.

But as laughable it may be, it does take a turn for the serious as a funeral scene is held for Cable. In this Cyclops probably shows more emotion than he has since Jean "died" (don't get me started on death and Jean Grey). He can't even say any words about his son. It's very fitting because one of the knocks on Cyclops is that he seems so comfortable making all these decisions and looking as stoic as Mount Rushmore in the process. Anybody who knocks him for this scene deserves to have rectal surgery done on them by retard with Parkinsons. It's a powerful moment and while Cyclops can't say his words, Hope certainly can and she gives a very meaningful speech about who Cable was and why he did what he did. If this doesn't strike an emotional chord you're either a sociopath or a robot.


Even though her speech was very sweet, Hope is still looked upon with suspicion. In fact, some of the New Mutants see her as basically a manifestation of every mutant. It's an interesting theory that would make her more than just a mimic as has often been theorized by her latest Wikipedia entry. But it can't be easy being an outcast in a group of other outcasts. What's even harder is that the one person she does seem to get along with, Rogue, ends up getting chewed out by Cyclops after the funeral. He's still not happy about her letting Hope join the battle against Bastion. Granted, it did end up saving the day and probably the lives of everyone in San Francisco, but he just can't let it go and has to be a prick about it. So that emotionality from the funeral is quickly replaced by a dick move of demoting Rogue. Yeah, guess they couldn't get completely away from what makes Cyclops the lovable jerk that's had to make some pretty shitty decisions.


While Hope is still the focus, she doesn't dominate every scene. The book does take time to cover other major characters and you know it's not a valid X-men comic if you don't show one scene with Wolverine and beer. He probably comes off with the most normal way of coping and wouldn't you know it? Storm joins him. Again, that's like finding a winning lottery ticket in your underwear drawer because Storm has been in and out of the X-men comics the same way Charlie Sheen is in and out of anger management. She reveals that she confronted Cyclops about X-Force and basically laughed. She didn't look kindly on their mission to say the very least, but Logan makes no apologies. This is a guy who's probably never put the toilet seat down so it should come as no surprise, but Storm keeps giving him more reasons to drink. She makes the old 'no better than our enemies' argument and implies it's going to be difficult for them to be friends anymore. It seems to be giving Marvel all the more reasons to keep her out of X-men and in any lame ass comic with Wakanda. Any fan of Storm should probably take a moment to puke up their last three meals before moving on.


Remarkably, Wolverine does much more than just drink away his sorrows in this issue. He does show he can work well semi-sober if he has to. He does this by confronting X-23, who he never wanted in X-Force to begin with. He basically tells her to leave and isn't very nice about it either. He says to stop listening to orders and just run out. Given that Logan is kind of like a parent to her, that's akin to your father suggesting you run away. It's fucked up, but it kind of works in a twisted way. X-23 has been falling into old habits and doesn't seem to know how to live any other way. She even admits this. But Logan has to be a jerk about it in order to get the point across. X-23 needs to spend time away from the X-men's battles, thus setting the stage for her upcoming mini-series. Considering every other X-23 mini has been awesome as hell, that's probably the most noble thing Wolverine has done since he decapitated Xorneto.


Not one to settle for less, Wolverine tries going three for three and confronts Cyclops about X-Force. The two men still talk like they're always ready to rip each others' heads off and this is no exception. Logan basically tells Cyclops to forget about X-Force and wash his hands clean. He's too much a pretty boy to be getting caught up in these kinds of missions. Even though Cyclops listens to Wolverine about as much as DMX listens to the police, he does take a hint for once and basically walks away from X-Force.

Does this meant he team is dissolved? In a word...fuck no! This just sets the stage for a new era in X-Force. But it isn't just any X-Force. It's Uncanny X-Force. Yeah, Marvel clearly doesn't have a thesaurus handy, but it still sounds pretty fucking sweet. We even get a brief glimpse of the new lineup and the rules are simple. Nobody, not even Cyclops, can know about it. To make them even more awesome, the new members include Deadpool and everybody is packing heat. It's like X-men mixing with old rap videos and it feels so good.


While the thought of another X-Force comic wets the appetite of X-fans everywhere, this is quickly balanced out by the next scene that shows Beast leaving yet again. Now at this point that's understandable, but considering Marvel already made a big deal about this nearly a year ago in Uncanny the whole moment loses it's weight. Beast goes off on the tired old rant that Cyclops has crossed too many moral lines. He may be right, but he still sounds like a fucking douche-bag because seriously. What were the alternatives? Nobody seems to pose that question and somehow Beast can hold his head high like he's fucking Bono from U2. He and Namor share a few words and then he's off, heading back to the Avengers. While it may upset some, given his attitude it's probably for the better.


After Beast's departure, the next scene is the one that I made such a big deal of yesterday. Beast leaves and Emma ventures off to check on Hope, but what she sees is enough to make her fake boobs sag. She not only sees Hope giving her this sinister-looking grin that cries "I have red hair and green eyes so you better watch your fucking back Frost!" she also sees a manifestation of the Phoenix Force. Given the kind of power she wielded in X-Force #28, this essentially confirms Emma's suspicions and that of the reader. Hope and the Phoenix Force are connected. Those teasers weren't bullshit for once. Given Emma's rough history with the Phoenix in Endsong and Warsong, it's probably her only powerful moment in Second Coming. Coupled with a flashback to the Sisterhood arc where she saw Jean and Phoenix in a vision, and this may set the stage for another cosmic level story. It doesn't answer the questions about Hope being Jean or where she came from, but it does offer a compelling clue for once.


Emma probably looks more freaked out here than she has in over a decade of comics. So she runs off to tell Cyclops. Given her disdain for redheads, she could very well surgically attach herself to him for good measure. But before she can even start shaking in her panties (which granted would be pretty hot for her), Cyclops makes a startling revelation. His faith in Hope has been rewarded. Cerebra has just detected five new mutant signatures. M-Day has been undone. The mutant race is no longer doomed to extinction. It's taken half a decade of comics, but it's finally happened and it's about fucking time.

The only problem with this is there is no fucking explanation for how it happened. Did Hope's Phoenix flare fix it? Did something happen off panel? What the fuck? The smartest men in the Marvel universe struggled to undo M-Day and suddenly it's just been lifted without an explanation? Granted, it doesn't come completely out of nowhere, but a little clue would have been nice. It does set up the next arc "The Five Lights" but is really light on the details and because of that, it's a ridiculously contrived ending even if it is fitting.


So where does this leave the issue and Second Coming as a whole? This comic is certainly awesome in the sense that it sets up so many compelling stories and gives some confirmation to all the teasers about Hope having a Phoenix connection. It's also very compelling on an emotional level in that it shows Hope and Cyclops struggling with the death of Cable and all the mutants of Utopia rebuilding after the attack. In this sense it's very well-crafted. However, all this setup comes at the cost of leaving a few too many loose ends.

While I'm glad the issue didn't nix the Phoenix connection to Hope or disprove the possibility that she has a Jean Grey connection (which actually seems more likely now), it failed to establish what Hope did to undo M-Day. I mean that was supposed to be the point of her return, wasn't it? She's the mutant messiah who is supposed to revitalize the entire mutant race. She appeared to succeed in that five new mutant signatures were shown at the end, but where the fuck did it happen? And how? That's one plot point that shouldn't be left dangling. It takes away from the serious meaning of this event, which was to close the door on M-Day and start the X-men on a new course. Even if they did that off panel, it does leave a plot hole that can't be ignored. It's akin to a disaster movie where a killer asteroid is heading towards Earth, but despite all the plans to stop it the damn thing just blows itself up in the end.

Never-the-less, the crossover was full of all the action and drama that make a story great. There was a lot to love about Second Coming and when it comes out in hardback, I'll definitely be the first to pick it up. But compared to other crossovers, it simply doesn't measure up to the billing of being the biggest X-men event in decades. It's still awesome, but not worth using those kinds of superlatives. This issue itself gets a 4.5 out of 5 and the crossover as a whole gets a 4 out of 5. It's definitely right up there in terms of Marvel events, but it's definitely no Blackest Night. It had a chance to be, but fell short because of a few vital details.

So it's official! Second Coming is over and it was pretty darn awesome! Now a new era in X-men can begin. We've got Uncanny X-Force, a new generation of mutants, and the looming presence of the Phoenix Force. If none of that gets you excited, have someone push you down a flight of stairs! This is a great time to be an X-men fan and we would all be wise to soak it up in all it's savory awesomeness! Nuff said.

Second Coming #2 Quick Spoilers - It Does NOT Suck!

I just came back from my comic book store. I went early today, making sure I got there just as the place opened. I immediately went for Second Coming #2, which was in limited supplies. And I quickly thumbed through it. And by the end I could breath a slight sigh of relief. My fears from X-Force #28 were finally put to rest. The Phoenix was NOT a ruse. In one iconic spread, Hope does share the same panel with the Phoenix. Not only that, the vision Emma Frost had in Uncanny X-men #510 is recalled. So it appears there may be a connection after all. So all those Phoenix fans can rejoice at least for the moment. Hope showed that the power she wielded was no ruse. Now I want to post scans, but unfortunately my scanner is on the fritz. The best I can manage is a picture taken from my phone. I know the quality sucks, but it's all I can manage at this point.


On the Jean Grey front she does make a slight appearance in terms of flashbacks. On one panel she appears in an old picture with Scott and the former X-men and on the scan above she is shown within the vision Emma had back in Uncanny #510. It was not confirmed whether or not Hope was Jean Grey and that's somewhat expected. They couldn't answer everything at once, but they did drop the Phoenix into the mix and that is essentially leaving Jean Grey's fingerprints on this event. It also doesn't discount the possibility that Hope is Jean. It only adds yet another clue.

I want to go over the whole issue, but I would rather wait until I have the scans to fully flesh out this story. As soon as I have them, I'll post a review. Until then, I think it's safe to say that Second Coming ended on a high note. It didn't completely screw the readers over and it opens the door to some very intriguing story lines. I was way too close to jumping ship and going to DC exclusively, but I've stepped back at least for now. I'm still on board the X-train. I'm ready to see where it takes me.

X-men Supreme Update - Morlock Bios

I've been doing a lot of comic reviews lately with all the big events that have been coming out, but I haven't forgotten my own events in X-men Supreme. I'm still on task to update with the final issue of the Underworld arc in just a few days. But before I do so, I think it's important I shed a little light on the Morlocks in the X-men Supreme fanfiction series. They've shown up in many X-men mediums and I always intended for them to be in X-men Supreme. As such, they do have their own story to tell. I just didn't have a lot of room to tell it in the previous issue. So to fill in the blanks, I've made a special bio page explaining their history and how they got to where they are now.

X-men Supreme - Morlocks Bio

This bio isn't required to understand what happens in the Underworld arc. But it certainly helps. More secrets will be revealed when the next issue comes out. Please stay tuned because there is still plenty of story to tell! X-men Supreme is just getting warmed up and while I know I can't compete with events like Second Coming, at least I don't resort to deceptive teasers. Nuff said.

Jack

X-men Second Coming: X-Force #28 - Cosmic Awesome

Yesterday, I blogged that I had read spoilers of X-Force #28 online and found out that the moment X-fans have been waiting for (and I have been bitching about) has finally happened. Second Coming has finally started to answer the questions it was supposed to answer. Who is Hope Summers? What are her powers? What about all the hints of Phoenix and Jean Grey? I'm been pulling my hair out and soaking my brain with elephant tranquilizer waiting for this to come out! Finally, X-Force #28 has come along to allow me to throw away my drug stash and get high off the sheer awesome of this book.

It's true. Hope does finally show some firepower and that firepower has a very cosmic feel to it. It's the kind of power that has the potential to undo M-Day and complete this story that Marvel has been dragging out for far too long. It's almost strange how it doesn't really begin with a bang either. It begins with a lame shot of all the other Marvel heroes who are trying to break the dome. They're basically wasting their time. They might as well be twiddling their thumbs and playing with themselves because they aren't going to partake in this awesome plot. It's all X-men.


The action then picks up where X-men Legacy left off. On the final page of the previous issue, Cable let the TO-virus take over his body so he could enter the time gate that was allowing the Nimrod sentinels to pass through and hold it open so the rest of X-Force could return to the present. Now I have no fucking clue what the physics are behind this. If this gate was supposed to prevent non-biological entities from crossing over, how the hell is holding it up changing that? I'm sure Stephen Hawkings would be keeling over in his wheelchair, but for whatever reason this contrived little ploy works and X-Force returns from the craptastic future of Days of Futures Past.


But once everybody's through, that still leaves one person. Cable is now all TO virus and looking pretty butt ugly in the process I might add. It's hard to tell if he's even trying to come through or if he's already given in. But somehow he manages to actually smile, which makes him a front runner for the creepiest damn smile in the history of the universe, before he blows up. Yep, that's the end of Cable. The man blows up and makes the ultimate sacrifice for Hope. It's a powerful moment, but one you would have to be brain damaged to not see coming.


It's a sad moment for Hope, but it's not the last we see of Cable. There's a brief flashback showing him and Hope huddled around a campfire with Hope asking when she'll be ready. Seeing as how Cable is about as clueless as the many X-fans out there who have been speculating about what this girl is supposed to do, he just says she'll know when it happens. Yeah, that's really clear. Nice parenting Cable. I think some specifics really couldn't hurt, but at least be a little more tactful about it. As touching as the scene was, the exchange itself was fucking bland.

Ready or not, Hope has to measure up soon because Bastion has been waiting in the wings ready to finish the job if his army of Nimrod sentinels fails. Now granted, it should be a bad sign when an army of Nimrod sentinels fail you. Even Bastion should know that. But the man's a machine and he's not capable of shitting his pants. Shitting bolts, maybe. But not real shit. So he chooses to jump into the battle and take on Hope, who he senses is the key to everything. As if everybody else didn't already know that.


With Bastion closing in, it's kind of a bad time for Hope to be throwing a hissy fit. But she just watched Cable explode and all that's left is his arm. I think she's a little bit entitled for once, but just barely. Again, she tells Cyclops she hates him. Seriously, join the club. The man has been making enemies for years now. Considering the fact that Nathan was his son, you would think Hope would have some understanding. It's not like Cyclops comes off as cold, but he doesn't come off as very emotional either. It makes him seem like that much more of a dick.


Again, it's a scene that already played out in the previous issue. Only this time Hope doesn't make that same fucked up face that still haunts my dreams to this day. Mike Choi is a lot more tactful about it and Craig Kyle and Christ Yost have a bit more subtlety in that regard. It's a much needed shift from the declining quality of the previous books and it's a good thing too because what happens next can't be made subtle no matter how awesome your writing is. Bastion has finally entered the battle again and damn it if that bucket of bolts doesn't know how to make an entrance.


In one burst the guy manages to damage half the golden gate bridge and send the X-men falling into the bay. It's pretty impressive firepower, which kind of makes me wonder why he didn't throw this shit into the mix when he had an army of fucking Nimrod Sentinels backing him up. Seriously, why do you wait until you're out of manpower to make a move like this? It just seems fucking stupid. Whatever his bullshit, he does manage to confront Hope. She's the only one who managed to stay dry, except now she's in even deeper shit.


Bastion shows up looking ready to unload. He's got two wingmen with him and again it's a pretty awesome shot by Mike Choi. This issue more than any other sets him apart as THE artist for Second Coming. His style fits better than any previous artist and considering this event has drawn some of the biggest names at Marvel, that's saying something. I found myself looking at this page an extra minute or so just to take in the sheer beauty of the art. But I couldn't linger for too long because a big moment lies just ahead.


That's right! It finally happens here! Hope stops flashing these ominous hints that have become more bullshit than ominous for the past few years and finally shows the power that's supposed to heal the mutant race. It's not very subtle either. The nature of Hope's powers are essentially confirmed to be that of a mimic. She can utilize the powers of those around her which include Armor's energy armor, Cyclops's optic blasts, and Colossus's metal skin. It's an impressive feat and probably the only ability that makes sense of all the conflicting clues as to what she can do since the early days of Messiah Complex. It looks pretty fucking awesome too, which is always a plus.


Then it happens. The moment that was hinted and teased at on more than one occasion finally happens for real this time and not because the reader took too much LSD before reading this (although it does add green monsters to the mix if you're curious). Hope Summers unleashes her Phoenix potential. A familiar fiery aura overtakes her and it seems to give her the extra boost she needs to bitch slap Bastion back to being a D-list villain. For anyone who has any appreciation of the Phoenix mythos in X-men, this should bring a big ass smile to your face. If it doesn't, peel your face off with a fucking meat cleaver because you don't deserve to have one anymore.


When the X-men pull themselves together and see this, they're understandably deadpanned. They know they're up shit's creek without a paddle or a boat for that matter when they see Hope wielding Phoenix level power. Emma is especially peeved. This woman has been at the receiving end of some pretty heavy pwnage from the Phoenix and add to the fact that Hope has red hair and green eyes, she has every reason to start pissing herself. For all we know that's exactly what she's doing when Cyclops goes after Hope.


He doesn't get very far though. Before anyone can even begin to make sense of the bullshit that's unfolding before them, Hope kicks it into overdrive and unleashes a blast that would make Michael Bay jizz in his pants. In one single burst Hope annihilates Bastion and shatters the red dome covering San Francisco. It seems kind of like a Deus Ex Machina move, but when Phoenix powers are involved it's the awesome kind of Deus Ex Machina. It also helps that it looks fucking awesome as hell and Mike Choi deserves an award courtesy of the ghost of Da Vinci and Michelangelo for that shot. It's by far the best in the series thus far. It only took 13 chapters to get to this point and it was worth the wait.


It seems like the end. But there's still one teeny tiny issue. Hope is still going full Phoenix and with this kind of power, that's almost as bad as 100 Bastions hopped up on crystal meth. There's also a spotty scene transition here. Somehow Hope and the X-men go from the Golden Gate Bridge back to Utopia and somewhere in between there was an awkward ride in. Seriously, when the fuck did that happen? Did they all recover, rejoin on Utopia, and gather around just so the could stare deadpanned at Hope while she's hovering in mid-air in a classic Phoenix pose? I'm guessing something happened, but whatever it was Choi didn't show it. I could cry foul here, but because it looks so awesome I'll give it a pass.


So that's it. There's only one issue left to resolve Hope's powers and the Phoenix. There's also that little matter of undoing M-Day, but because of the damn solicitations and Marvel's piss poor tendency for spoilers we already know that shit's going to be undone. So I guess all that's left is to answer these questions about Hope, the Phoenix, and her powers. It would be a perfect way to tie up all the loose ends and seal this crossover as one of the most awesome in the history of X-men.

However, I do have some reason to be skeptical. For one, the spoilers I read earlier seemed to indicate that Hope manifested the Phoenix without much room for ambiguity. Well here, nobody even says the word Phoenix or implies that this is what is happening. Granted, Hope's aura does look like a classic Phoenix manifestation and there are some moments when it takes on the shape of the cosmic parrot itself. But it's not a very clear shape. It's not as cleanly described as it's been shown in covers and in teaser art. That leaves the terrible possibility that this whole stunt Hope pulled might NOT be the Phoenix Force after all and just some uber power manifestation made to look like it. If that's the case and it turns out that EVERY teaser was bullshit after all, then this crossover is fucked worse than Lindsey Lohan. I'm on my knees praying to Odin right now hoping Marvel doesn't pull some bullshit like that. There's still an issue left and if someone just utters the word Phoenix that will be enough.

One more thing that's still not being addressed is Jean Grey. Hope just pulled a stung that only Jean Grey was capable of in the past and STILL nobody notices how she looks and carries herself?! If in the final issue there isn't so much as a thought bubble then that would be another epic failure almost on par with making the Phoenix a ruse. There's still no indication of who Hope is and where she came form. Her being an incarnation of Jean Grey would make perfect sense of everything, but if that's not what happens then the awesome of this series is extremely hurt. You don't drop that many hints just to fuck with people. It's not being cute. It's being a fucking asshole.

There's one issue left, but X-Force #28 has gone above and beyond to rescue what had been a lame Act 3. This issue was fucking awesome from cover to cover and for that it gets a 5 out of 5. However, that score will change if it turns out this Phoenix crap wasn't Phoenix. That should become clear with the final issue. Second Coming has the potential to be a truly awesome crossover, but that awesomeness depends on how they tie up all these loose ends.