A Girl, Her Dog, and So Much More: Ms. Marvel #8

The following is my review of Ms. Marvel #8, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

The disparity in thought process between teenagers and adults is like the disparity between Eagles fans and Cowboys fans. It's so vast in so many ways that there's little chance of reconciliation. It's not just because of hormones, high school, and acne either. Teenagers still see the world through an untainted, inexperienced set of eyes. Adults see the world through eyes that have been jaded by a potent combination of age, struggle, and harsh reality. Teenagers basically live on a perpetual beer buzz while adults live in a perpetual hangover.

It's this disparity that allows a teenager to see a dog as just the most adorable creature since the Olson Twins whereas an adult sees it as just another chore between paying bills and mowing the lawn. It also serves as a defining moment in Ms. Marvel #8 that further reinforces Kamala Khan's title as Marvel's most lovable teenage superhero. She's still very new to this world of supervillains, superpowers, and alien dogs. But she still sees that world with the kind of wide-eyed optimism of someone who has not yet had to deal with the DMV or the IRS.

This untainted view of the world has been one of the many reasons Ms. Marvel has been a breath of fresh air from the brooding and bickering that has plagued so many adult heroes. Kamala hasn't had time to develop a deep, dark secret that makes her so jaded that she resorts to making deals with Mephisto. She's still just a kind, caring teenage girl who wants to do good in the world without understanding how easily the world complicates good deeds. She spent many early issues just establishing herself as a hero, making some pretty big mistakes and dealing with family issues along the way. Now she has become that hero and others have taken notice.

After her first ever team-up with Wolverine, the Inhumans have taken notice of this lovable teenage girl from Jersey City. That's what brings Lockjaw into the picture. Where others see a big, hulking, monstrosity of a dog, Kamala Khan sees her new favorite pet. And it just so happens that her new favorite pet is a big help in her ongoing battle against the Inventor. However, it's through this fight that Kamala's rosy worldview of heroes and villains becomes complicated.

Lockjaw acts as an enabler of sorts, allowing Kamala to do more than most 16-year-olds with a 9:00 pm curfew and no car. In some ways it's necessary because to this point, Kamala's resources have been limited to her friend, Bruno, and information that can be easily Googled. This was still enough to help her rise to the top of the Inventor's hit-list, but she needs more if she's to be the reigning champ of that list. That's exactly what Lockjaw does, allowing Kamala to get to where the action is and be the superhero she wants to be. It proves useful, but it also has the effect of having a diabetic live next door to a Baskin Robbins.

Thanks to her new pet, Kamala is able to take part in the kind of superhero action that exists on every other page of a Wolverine comic. In the previous issues, she got to fight a giant alligator. Now she gets to fight a giant robot. For a superhero, that's akin to a teenager's first car. But for Kamala, she ends up running over a few cones because the Inventor takes advantage of her inexperience. He exposes the drawbacks of seeing the world through such rosy glasses and it didn't even involve having to clean up after Lockjaw.

It's a lesson every experienced superhero and adult learns at some point. It's not enough to just confront problems. They need to be confronted carefully and thoroughly. Teenagers see them as problems that can be solved easily with fists, trash talk, or just blocking them on Facebook. But the Inventor isn't a problem that can be blocked. As competent as Kamala is at attacking giant robots, she's not as competent when it comes to out-thinking her enemy. She doesn't even notice until its too late. Like a tax return she thought she paid, it comes back to bite her.

It leads to Kamala being more vulnerable than she's been at any point in her brief superhero career. It's a moment where she has to take off those rosy glasses through which she sees the world and realize that this is serious. She's messing with someone who isn't afraid to hit her when she's out of costume and surrounded by friends. She basically took out a loan from Tony Soprano and now he's back to collect. It overwhelms Kamala in a way she hasn't experienced to date and for a girl who recently fought a giant alligator and spent a day with Wolverine, that's saying something.

She goes from a lovable teenage girl with a new pet dog to an overwhelmed teenage girl who gets in over her head. Yet somehow, Ms. Marvel #8 manages to maintain the same strong themes that have helped make it so enjoyable. Even as Kamala learns the hard way that being a superhero means occasionally leading a killer robot right to her school, it's still a fun, spirited narrative. There's never a sense that Kamala is about to become an overly jaded teenager with one too many body piercings. Previous issues have firmly established the wonderful girl she is. That's what makes these new complications she faces so compelling.

Ms. Marvel #8 is yet another step in the process of Kamala Khan becoming a superhero. She's had her first major battles. She's fought her first killer robot. She's had her first team-up with Wolverine. She's dealt with complicated family issues. Now she has to learn to deal with the larger complications that come along with being a superhero. And this is all in addition to having a new pet in Lockjaw. She's had to deal with a lot in such a brief span, but the manner in which she deals with it is part of what makes her so much fun.

Final Score: 9 out of 10

Radical Concepts In Lovability: Ms. Marvel #4

The following is my review of Ms. Marvel #4, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

It's hard to imagine a time when Peyton Manning wasn't a Hall of Fame caliber football player or when George Lucas wasn't a sci-fi visionary. There are entire generations that only know their greatness and that of others like them. The same can be said for superheroes. It's hard to imagine a time when Steve Rogers couldn't take down a hundred armed Hydra assassins or when Batman couldn't take down ten armed thugs with his bare hands. But like every master of every craft, they were a novice at some point and that's exactly the position Kamala Khan, the new Ms. Marvel, is in.

Stories surrounding this novice period of a hero are often overlooked. Like fans of any professional sports team, few want to see the growing pains of their players. They want to see them get to a championship. It's a lack of patience that feeds into the need for instant gratification from our famous heroes. If it can't be told in a two-hour movie starring an actor with the charisma of Robert Downey Jr., then it's not worth telling. That sentiment makes it difficult to explore the actual process of becoming a hero, which is a process that is every bit as tedious as becoming a Hall of Fame quarterback or an acclaimed director. That's why G. Willow Wilson's approach to making Kamala Khan the new Ms. Marvel was so risky, but so far that risk has paid off. And in Ms. Marvel #4, that payoff makes Kamala Khan a shoe-in for Rookie of the Year.

The first few issues defied convention by actually taking the time to show who Kamala Khan is, where she comes from, who her friends and family are, and what she struggles with as a 16-year-old teenage Pakistani-American in Jersey City, New Jersey. It shouldn't sound like such a radical concept, exploring the life of a character so readers can actually care about her as a person and not just as someone with superpowers. Yet in an era where every great story has to have an epic battle on the scale of a Lord of the Rings movie, it might as well be the most absurd idea not pitched by Seth MacFarlane. Ms. Marvel has proven that there is some merit to actually exploring the more inane details of a character's life before sending them to fight killer robots. That makes it all the more satisfying when that character finally gets around to fighting those robots.

It took her four issues, but Kamala Khan finally gets her first crack at fighting killer robots in Ms. Marvel #4. It might not be as epic as Wolverine battling a Sentinel or Hulk battling MODOK, but it's the path that Kamala took to get to this fight that makes it so satisfying. Beyond the killer robots, this is the first issue where Kamala actually adopts the title, Ms. Marvel. It's also the issue in which she adopts her own style and uniform. Before now, she has been running around dressed as Captain Marvel, trying to emulate her favorite superhero. In doing so, she learns the hard way that running around in heels in a one-piece bathing suit is not for everybody. So instead of trying to be someone else, she starts building her own persona and she does it in a way that only makes her more lovable.

This is the greatest strength of Ms. Marvel. The journey of Kamala Khan from awkward Pakistani-American teenager to hero is done in a way that makes it hard not to adore her. So much of what she deals with is very real and something that others can relate to. She's not like Peter Parker in that she's not a genius. She's more of a nerd. She writes fan fiction, plays video games, and sneaks out to see Harry Potter movies. But unlike Peter Parker, she doesn't have to lose someone close to her to become a hero. Just being from a good family that has instilled her with good values is enough. Again, that sounds like such a radical concept in an age when family values is basically a synonym for racist, homophobic religious indoctrination. Yet Kamala Khan makes it work.

That's not to say she can go toe-to-toe with Galactus or rub elbows with Carol Danvers just yet. Kamala is still stumbling about in her journey to become a hero. She managed to get herself shot while stopping a simple robbery at a convenience store. And her ability to learn more about her first villain, The Inventor, is restricted to creative exploitation of smartphones. She's hardly a Batman-level detective and she quickly finds herself in a tough situation she doesn't fully understand, but that's just another part of her journey. She's bound to get a little nervous in encountering her first villain and destroying her first killer robot. But like riding a bicycle or baking the perfect cake, she has to start somewhere. However, at no point is it not clear that she'll eventually be capable of beating up Nazis with Captain America.

There is so much to love about Kamala Khan and she doesn't have to punch Galactus in the jaw to achieve that lovability. At times, it's easy to forget that she's a minority in a world where minority superheroes are few, far between, and not nearly as lovable. That might be the only shortcoming of Ms. Marvel #4 because it doesn't explore that aspect of her character the same way previous issues have. Yet therein lies the radical nature of this narrative because had Kamala been a typical American blond, the personal struggles that make Kamala so compelling would probably have been glossed over. It's not uncommon for minorities to struggle with higher bars, but thanks to the depth provided in the issues preceding this one, she has already exceeded that bar and keeps on raising it.

The journey of Kamala Khan becoming Ms. Marvel takes another important step in Ms. Marvel #4. She goes from just struggling to understand what she's becoming to actually forging a superhero identity. She still has a long ways to go. Being Rookie of the Year doesn't immediately make an athlete into a Hall of Famer, but it's a good start. Fighting killer robots is basically Superheroing 101 and for now, Kamala Khan has more than earned a passing grade. It remains to be seen whether she'll be able to handle the advanced courses, but she has already created a sizable fanbase that will be rooting for her.

Final Score: 9 out of 10

Sunday Rant: The Phoenix Five and the Morality of Superheroes

I've had some time to think about the events of Avengers vs. X-men #5. I've pondered, pontificated, got drunk, took a few hits of acid, smoked some weed, and tapped the power of every brain cell I haven't yet killed. Usually when I do this the only conclusion I can reach is, "Fuck, I need more weed." But this time, some of those brain cells actually made a few connections and it has led me to a contemplate a certain topic in comics that is usually superseded by Emma Frost's bra size. That would be the topic of superheroes and morality.

Now I know the notion of having an admitted drunk who spends his spare time making dick jokes in comic book reviews talk about morality may seem more fucked up than an acrobatic nymphomaniac, but it is a serious issue that guides many stories throughout comics. Marvel, more so than any other comic company, loves to tell stories that involve morally gray conflicts. I'm not just talking about the kind of conflicts where you have to choke a puppy to save the life of 20 kittens either. I'm talking about the kind of conflicts that pit two sides against one another and both sides have a valid point to make.

One of those points being NOT to reveal your identity and NOT to get shot by your ex-girlfriend

Avengers vs. X-men hasn't had the same kind of social and political undertones as stories like Civil War. On the surface, it has the usual musings of your typical superhero brawl. One group of superheroes questions the size of another group's dick and they slug it out until one side proves their dick is bigger or they just bludgeon each other to the point where they agree that both their dicks can get the job done. Avengers vs. X-men offered somewhat more depth than that. This was another instance where both sides did have a valid point to make. They stem from two very different approaches to this conflict. That conflict involves the Phoenix Force, a power known for using entire planet to wipe it's butt, coming towards Earth in search of a new red-haired, green eyed host NOT named Jean Grey.

For the X-men, they're approach comes from the point of view of a species that's been endangered since House of M. Hope's arrival did bring 5 new mutants into the fold with the Five Lights. However, 5 new mutants to a dying race is like pissing in the ocean in an effort to refill it. They need something more to kick start their species and why not the Phoenix Force? The Scarlet Witch butt-fucked reality in so many different holes that the only way to even remotely undo the damage is to use something as powerful as the Phoenix Force. Moreover, the X-men have dealt with the Phoenix. They've seen Jean Grey and Rachel Grey control it for a while. That means it can be controlled and with it, they may be able to restart their dying species.

That's all well and good, but the Avengers come at it from the point of view that tampering with cosmic forces is like giving a pyromaniac 100 metric tons of napalm. Their job is and always has been to protect the Earth from the kinds of threats that would put Earth between the giant butt cheeks of evil and fart it out of existence. Given that the Phoenix has already ravaged more planets than Motley Crue has hotel rooms, they have plenty of reason to stop this shit even it means sacrificing a dying species. I mean, it's not like they're the ones that caused mutants to become endangered. Hell, they distanced themselves completely from the Scarlet Witch. Why should they give a fuck?

Can we agree to disagree? Fuck no!

The events of Avengers vs. X-men changed the moral landscape of this series in a huge way and I'm not just talking about a difference in approach towards cosmic entities that want to give Earth a planetary enema. Throughout the first few issues, another stark difference has emerged that Marvel hasn't really explored. In the Marvel universe, the Avengers and the X-men are both accomplished superhero teams that have saved the world more times than Chuck Norris pretends he did. Yet the Avengers are hailed as heroes, given parades and praise. People love them, women want to fuck them, and little kids dress up like them. By and large, they are beloved.

The X-men, however, are looked upon with the same appeal as malignant lump on one's scrotum or tits. They have superpowers like the Avengers, but they're seen as freaks and monsters. They are scorned by society and some actively work to wipe them out as was shown most recently in Second Coming. And what do the Avengers do about this vile public hate? Absolutely jack shit. Now I know I'm just a drunk, but how the fuck is that fair? How the fuck does that even make sense? In the first few issues of Avengers vs. X-men, Cyclops calls the Avengers out on their bullshit and they don't answer. They just say "Give us your messiah or we'll kick your ass and take her." They might as well have walked into a Star Trek convention dressed as storm troopers and asked Trekkies to hand over Leonard Nemoy.

Well Avengers vs. X-men #5 changed the whole dynamic of this difference between the Avengers and the X-men. And the Avengers have no one to blame but themselves. Tony Stark proved that no only is he a lousy drunk, but he also builds machines that do a shitty job of stopping cosmic forces. The Phoenix Force clearly wanted Hope. However, by fucking with it, he split the damn thing and now it's in five new hosts that the Avengers have been annoying the fuck out of for the past five issues. Thus we have the Phoenix Five, X-men imbued with the Phoenix Force and with more than enough reasons to flex their Phoenix muscle to help collapse the collective scrotum of every Avenger.

This is how the Avengers cure their constipation.

But the Phoenix Five do more than just bitch slap the Avengers for fucking with their messiah. Now that they have the Phoenix, they're planning to use this power to do more than just shit on planets or kill characters that have red hair and green eyes. They want to actually use this power to make the world a better place. They want to show the Avengers that they can do more good than they ever hoped they could. It seems like a much more humane way of proving their dicks are bigger, but it gets the point across.

In recent previews of upcoming issues, we've seen how the Phoenix Five plan to carry out this motive. In a preview of X-men Legacy #268, we see the Phoenix Five doing something the UN was originally planned to do and failed miserably at for the past 60. They're actually outlawing war and beating the shit out of those who try to keep the war going. With their Phoenix powers, they travel to war ravaged places like Africa and disarm the militias who think using civilians as target practice is a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon. They also talk about mind-wiping those who can't go more than five minutes without thinking about killing someone. While I'm generally against mind-control and psychic torture on general principle, when some people just can't fight the urge to maim I make exceptions.

We come in peace, motherfucker.

This creates another moral quandary that Marvel (or DC for that matter) has yet to explore. Is it right to impose this kind of peace on a world that has never taken kindly to those who impose? Even if a cause is just, trying to impose it will create more outrage than strippers at Sunday School. I mean we live in a country where people get outraged when the President tries to impose universal health care on the last industrialized country that doesn't have it. So how the fuck do you think people will react when five all-powerful figures descend from the sky and say killing each other for no reason is no longer cool?

It creates a very shady ethical question. Is using the raw force of the Phoenix to impose peace on Earth just? Moreover, is it ethical to just stand by and let people keep dying while trying to pursue less forceful but less effective means of peace? Let's face it, the Avengers spend their days fighting off Thanos and Loki. They tend not to give a fuck about stopping wars in Africa, the Middle East, Asia, South America, and Texas. They just say, "Eh, let the UN handle it." Never mind that the UN couldn't even get the tiny country of Mauritania to outlaw slavery until 2007. They save the planet, yet they let millions die every day when they have the power to stop it? I mean fuck they have a billionaire, a demigod, a super soldier, and a Hulk at their disposal. Yet they can't find a way to tell the Israelis and Palestinians to cut the violence and shit? That's fucked up right into the stratosphere.

At the same time, there's still the question of using tyranny to fight tyranny. It's like using intolerance to fight intolerance. It's a very blurry ethical line that isn't easily managed. The Phoenix Five could make the whole world into a peace-loving utopia that would finally make Bono shut the fuck up. But that doesn't make what they did or how they did it right. It also doesn't make the Avengers victims either because it's their fucking fault for making the Phoenix Five in the first place. It's the kind of story that hasn't been told or debated in comics before and I'm glad Marvel is finally doing something like this. However it ends, it'll raise some pretty unsettling questions about heroes and their roles. In the meantime, I suppose the only thing we can agree on is how hot Emma Frost looks in Phoenix gear.

Phoenix Force + Boobs = Awesome

Digital Comics - The Idea Everyone Has (But Comic Publishers Won't Offer)

We all know we're in the Age of the Internet. There is more computing power in a modern wrist watch than there was in the Saturn V rocket that took the astronauts to the moon. The latest Iphones and Android devices have so many features that if they had pussies attached to them every guy's dick would fall off from fucking it. Music has gone digital thanks to Napster, Itunes, and the pricks at the RIAA. Books have gone digital thanks to Amazon, the Kindle, and it's slightly douchier yet versatile big brother the Ipad. Everything is going digital and people are finding ways to make money off it. Even though there are still a shit ton of websites you can find that will offer free downloads for music and books, people are still willing to pay a small fee to download these materials cleanly and with a certain expectation of quality that doesn't sound like it was slapped together by a couple of code junkies working in their dad's garage while tripped out on Mountain Dew.

Yet there's still piracy out there and not the sexy Johnny Depp kind. Comics have been a major source of piracy for years now. It's hard for them not to be. Anyone who has ever dealt with Marvel or DC's subscription service knows it's absolute shit. I had several subscriptions over the years and they were all terrible in the sense they were painfully late. There were times when books wouldn't arrive until three weeks after they were released in stores. Now that may have been okay in pre-internet days, but now every book has spoilers posted by Wednesday evening so late comics are a no-no. I've since let all my subscriptions expire. I just can't take the lateness anymore and I know I'm not alone. More and more people are turning to digital and there's a clear and present demand for digital books. And as economics dictate, if there's a demand for something there's some enterprising genius out there willing to supply it.

It's become bigger news. Newsarama recently did an article on the issue:

Newsarama: Is This The New Digital Age of Comic? Can Piracy Become Profit?

Unlike music it's a lot easier to make a digital copy of a comic. All you do is take the book, run it through a scanner, organize the images, and compress it into a single file and boom. You got a comic. Any high school kid with a scanner and the ability to Google shit knows how to do it. The genie simply cannot be put back in the bottle anymore without destroying the bottle, except in this case that bottle would be the internet and nobody is willing to destroy the internet for the sake of a few comic companies. Think of all the porn stars that would lose their livelihood.

But companies like Marvel and DC aren't completely retarded. They do have a digital comics library and service. For a nominal fee (translation: overpriced) you can access a library of hundreds of comics. There's a catch though. For one, you can't download and burn the comics to a CD or anything. You have to log or have an internet connection to view them. Another and more egregious flaw is that the titles offered are months old. Some of them are years old. Now this is okay for some rare comics that aren't in print anymore, but for anything not more than a couple years old you're fucked.

Compare that to the pirated comics. They're released within a few days of the street date. You can download them onto your computer and burn them onto CDs or flash drives to take with you and store in case the zombie apocalypse destroys the global infrastructure. Also, they're free, but that's besides the point. Yeah, there are the cheap bastards out there too cheap to pay for comics, but what's more appealing to the major fans is the ability to access the new comics on the day or a few days after they come out. That's like a weekly blowjob from Scarlet Johannson. It gives fans the comic book experience without having to leave their room. Also, no mess to clean up afterward.

Now as fun as this is, the system is cumbersome. These pirated comics don't come out on a predicable schedule and sometimes they get shut down so fans will have to go searching for other sources. That's a hassle, but even when Marvel and DC issue notices to sites and they get shut down it only opens the door for someone else to fill the void. It's like the drug war. Throw one dealer in jail and six more spring up. You can't stop this because it's too easy to do and the technology can't be uninvented.

The solution is as simple as it is obvious. Marvel and DC need to offer same-day digital comics. They need to do what the music industry did and turn the pirating into profit. That's how Itunes came along. At a buck per song the model works. People pay and get their music. The music industry gets their money. Everybody's happy. Why can't that work with comics?

Well for one there is no Itunes medium to work with, but it's not like the groundwork hasn't been laid. Marvel and DC do have digital interfaces. Marvel has an app for the Ipad and there are sites like Comixology out there which offer digital comics for the Iphone. However, none of them offer same day downloads. You still have to get them the old fashioned way. You can order them online, but that shit is late too. Even if you order express (which can cost up to 30 bucks extra) you still won't get your book for nearly a week if you're lucky. And if you live outside the continental United States, you're fucked.

It's not like the companies haven't entertained the idea though. Marvel did offer the Iron Man Annual this year as a same day download, but it was shit compared to the pirated copies. It cost five bucks, even more than if you bought it off the racks and had to be downloaded in pieces. Now I don't have an MBA from Harvard, but even I can see the flaws in that model.

In a perfect world Marvel and DC would have it work like this:

Step 1: Fans sign up and pay for a special service like they do with Netflix
Step 2: Fans sign into said service on Wednesday Morning at a given time (usually 9 am EST)
Step 3: Fans brows the new selection of books, pick the ones they want, pay .99 or 1.50 for each book (same price as an itunes song)
Step 4: The book is downloaded onto the user's computer.
Step 5: The book is opened and read with a special program that Marvel and DC create and distribute which must be opened to read the file.
Step 6: The book is opened and the fan enjoys their favorite brand of comic book awesome.

Now not forgetting that Marvel and DC are a business and they need to make money, there is something in between those steps. Within the files there could be full page ads like there already are with print books. But since it's digital the files could also allow for some space on the ends where Google ads can show up. This way whenever a fan clicks an ad, the company makes money. And since those ads are always refreshed, a book can keep making money long after it's been downloaded. Is there any publisher in the world that wouldn't love that? If fans had this option and had to just pay a little bit extra for it, they wouldn't hesitate for a second.

Plus, who says these books have to be in English? If they're digital the text can more easily be translated so that other countries can download them and not have to rely on expensive imports. You broaden the appeal of comics worldwide and get richer in the process. There's no losers except for the print shops. That seems to be the big concern for comic companies. Nobody wants to let go of the print shops.

Well it's sad, but an unfortunate part of business. Print medium is dying, but unlike typewriters or Betamax it's never going to go away completely. But like newspapers, they'll have to be scaled back. There will always be room for books and graphic novels, but the old model of releasing a single trade on paper is not going to work in the 21st century. I can see a day when only graphic novel compilations are sold in stores while the trades yield to the online medium. To make the graphic novels more enticing, companies can put in the equivalent of DVD extras and commentary from the creators. It works for movies. Why not comics?

If I'm smart enough to come up with this shit while sitting on the toilet someone in Marvel or DC has to have come up with it or they're serving lead at the company functions. I'm sick of having to drag my ass across town to comic shops and dealing with constantly late subscriptions. The pirated copies are never going away. Music helped stem it by doing more than just arresting users through the RIAA. They took what the pirates were making, copied it, made it better, and charged people for it. And guess what? It worked! It's time comic companies got on board! Fans want this shit. I guarantee there are lines of fans holding out money, begging for a service like this. If there are any competent business people in the comic business they'll listen or the pirates will continue to win. Nuff said!