Sunday, May 3, 2015

Ambassador Swanson: Ron F@%*#! Swanson Meets Wonder Woman

We all come up with crazy, fucked up ideas at some point. Maybe we've had too much to drink. Maybe we've had one too many bong hits. Maybe the guy who sold us weed accidentally slipped some LSD into a joint. Most of the time, we forget these ideas as soon as we sober up or as soon as we find something good to watch on Netflix. But every now and then, we see some of those ideas through.

This past year, one of my favorite TV shows came to a solemn yet fitting end. Parks and Recreation was one of those shows that helped put a smile on my face while I was waiting for new comics to come out. It had so many memorable moments and many came from my favorite character, Ron Swanson, also known as Ron fucking Swanson.

I'm not a woman, but even I find this sexy.
Played by the brilliant and exceedingly manly Nick Offerman, Ron was the manliest motherfucker since Chuck Norris' beard. He's tough, he's blunt, and he loves America like few do. He's also got a rocking mustache that just exudes manliness. Women love him. Men respect him. And he does this without ever resorting to the douche-bag behaviors that supposedly make Don Draper manly. I feel as though TV has lost a true icon of masculinity with the end of Parks and Recreation. But he can live in in other ways.

This leads me to Justice League. Throughout the history of DC comics, Wonder Woman has encountered many men who claim to represent the best of mankind. But Superman is an alien. Batman might as well be an alien with the shit he does. And Steve Trevor is a nice guy, but he's not the kind of guy who drips testosterone from his chest hair. At some point, Wonder Woman and her Amazons sisters have to encounter a man who can embody the greatest features of masculinity. And after six seasons of Parks and Recrecation, I'm convinced. Ron Swanson is that man.

His mustache alone ensures he's overqualified.
For this reason, I've crafted a quick little one-shot story that may or may not be the only crossover between Justice League and Parks and Recreation in existence. It's not a story full of epic battles and heart-wrenching drama. It's just a funny, entertaining one-shot that puts Ron Swanson on Themyscira, an island full of warrior women. Do I really need to go into detail why I think that idea is awesome? I'll skip the details and just let Ron and his awesome do all the talking.

This is just a simple one-shot. It does not tie into my other ongoing DC story, "Strangers In Paradise." I'll continue working on that, but I felt it would be nice to mix things up a bit. With Parks and Recreation over and the Amazons having lost all their credibility in the comics, I think this is just the right time for something like this. I hope everyone enjoys it. Or as Ron Swanson would say, "Or don't. I couldn't care less." Nuff said!



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