A (Not So) Bittersweet End: Inhumans vs. X-men #6

The following is my review of Inhumans vs. X-men #6, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Most epic battles are epic because of the skirmishes that led up to it. Ideally, the tension grows and the stakes rise to set up a final showdown wherein both sides think they're Mario and neither side believes they're Bowser. This is what makes battles like Batman vs. Joker, Superman vs. Doomsday, and Deadpool vs. Short-Sighted Fox Producers so meaningful. It's also why the final showdown in Inhumans vs. X-men has everything working against it.

In the case of this latest clash between two superhero teams, the skirmishes are forgettable and the stakes as unbalanced as fight between Juggernaut and a sick puppy. From the events leading up to it, to the tie-in issues that try to add badly-needed depth, Inhumans vs. X-men fights an uphill battle that may as well be upside down. It tries to be epic. It tries to be balanced. It just doesn't have the style, substance, or setup to make it work. To be epic, at this point, would require Onslaught-level power and/or a deal with Mephisto.

Charles Soule and Jeff Lemire may not be willing to call Mephisto, but they still try to make the most of what they've got to work with, which isn't much. Through five issues, the tension is there. The drama is there. There's a genuine effort to mold the conflict into something that feels balanced on both sides.

With Inhumans vs. X-men #6, the proverbial shot clock is running out. The drama, tension, and every other concept that's lacking has to pay off. However, that payoff never arrives in full. It's not a total bust, but it doesn't feel like a worth-while investment either. It's an investment that the Tony Starks and Warren Buffetts of the world would never make in the first place, but it's not one of those investments that bankrupts either side.

The most that can be said about Inhumans vs. X-men #6 is that it ends the conflict. It ends in a way that doesn't make either side looks good. In fact, both sides come off as woefully inept. There are any number of opportunities to avoid or mitigate the conflict. These opportunities are either ignored, glossed over, or fumbled with comic ineptitude. It's an inherent flaw that has plagued the X-men/Inhuman conflict since before the event started and the final showdown that unfolds in this issue does little to resolve that.

That's not to say the conflict is completely without drama. Lemire and Soule do make a concerted effort to make Inhumans vs. X-men #6 feel personal for the characters. This is most apparent with Emma Frost and Medusa. These two characters are, arguably, the primary driving force of the conflict. What they do and the decisions they make help give the struggle the depth it needs to feel like more than just another superhero clash. At a time when superheroes are more likely to fight each other than aliens, killer robots, or Thanos, that's very important.

Medusa vs. Emma Frost doesn't have the same epic undertones elicited by Batman vs. Superman, Captain America vs. Iron Man, or even Wolverine vs. anybody who steals his beer. However, it still feels very personal. Emma Frost makes it personal. She blames the entire Inhuman race for killing Cyclops. She takes it upon herself to exact the kind of vengeance usually reserved for Wolverine. There's no doubting her dedication. At the same time, however, there's no denying the inherent flaw this creates.

In the end, it's also Emma Frost who makes the conflict feel so forced. The main driving force of the Inhuman/mutant clash is supposed to be the Terrigen Mists, which is poisoning mutants all over the world. That issue gets resolved with a level of ease that feels downright inane and not just because Moon Girl succeeds where Beast, Forge, and every genius mind in New Attilan fail. It ends up feeling like a secondary concern, a formality has to happen before Emma Frost can fight Medusa.

By making the Terrigen Mists so trivial, it underscores everything motivating the X-men in this conflict. On top of that, they don't even get to make the decision that eliminates the threat of the mists once and for all. The Inhumans are the ones that do that. As soon as Medusa finds out that the mists will make the world uninhabitable to mutants, she doesn't even hesitate. She jumps at the chance to remove the mists from the atmosphere.

There's no argument with Storm. There's no fight with Emma Frost. Old Man Logan doesn't even need to insult her. She just learns something that the X-men could've easily told her in a simple text message and does the right thing. It makes the entire Inhuman/mutant conflict seem hallow. The fact that all anyone had to do was tell Medusa that the mists were about to exterminate an entire species makes every struggle in Inhumans vs. X-men #6, personal or otherwise, seem unnecessary.

In the grand scheme of things, neither the Inhumans nor the X-men come off as winners in Inhumans vs. X-men. They don't come off as losers either. The X-men do achieve their goal. The Terrigen Mists are gone. Mutants no longer have to worry about being gassed to death. They don't even need the Scarlet Witch to lose her mind again or cast some fancy spell to make it happen. That means they don't have to live in demon realms anymore for their own safety.

The Inhumans don't come off as losers either. Thanks to Medusa's hard choices, they come off as heroic and understanding. They make a sacrifice to prevent genocide. It does come at a cost, but New Attilan is still intact. No Inhumans died or suffered horribly. There's nothing stopping them from thriving again, albeit under different circumstances. Compared to being gassed to death, those circumstances aren't too bad. In that sense, it's still abundantly clear which side has its movie rights owned by Disney and which side does not.

With respect to creating a meaningful superhero clash, Lemire and Soule just don't have the ingredients to make Inhumans vs. X-men as epic as others before it. The circumstances, drama, and character motivations just aren't there. They are still able to make the most of it. Some of the flaws are inescapable. Others are just ignored. In the end, the resolution just can't be as epic as it needs to be. No amount of psychic manipulation from Emma Frost can change that.

Final Score: 5 out of 10

Underwhelmingly Misguided Underdogs: Inhumans vs. X-men #3

The following is my review of Inhumans vs. X-men #3, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

In sports, people love cheering for the underdog. In nearly every major sports movie, this underdog spirit is as common as the elaborate training montage that everyone since Rocky Balboa tries to emulate. It's not that hard to set up an underdog in a fight. They usually face harsh, unforgiving circumstances that puts them at a clear disadvantage. Having them overcome these disadvantages is a powerful narrative that often plays out in superhero comics as well, including those that involve superheroes end up fighting each other.

With Inhumans vs. X-men, it's not quite as easy for one side of the conflict. One side is fighting to prevent an entire species from suffering a horrible, painful death. The other is fighting to protect the big green cloud that is spreading this death. It's easy to make the former the underdog, as this is the position they've been in many times since their inception. For the latter, however, it's akin to making Emma Frost seem modest.

The circumstances of Inhumans vs. X-men are exceedingly unbalanced and have played out as such since before the conflict began. The clock is now ticking for the X-men. If they don't do something about the Inhumans' sacred cloud, every mutant on the planet will die a terrible death. If the Inhumans were agents of Hydra or just some ordinary villains who got tired of using killer robots, this doesn't even need to be an underdog story. It can just be a typical X-men story.

Unfortunately, the other side's movie rights aren't owned by Fox and Marvel has a vested interest in making them underdogs. Inhumans vs. X-men #3 tries to accomplish this as the conflict reaches a critical turning point. It doesn't fail miserably, but it certainly doesn't succeed either. The plot moves forward. The conflict gains new complications. From a narrative standpoint, however, that's about all this issue accomplishes.

Charles Soule and Jeff Lemire already have an impossible task on their hands. They're attempting to tell a story about a conflict where one side is fighting for survival and one side is fighting to preserve their current situation. This isn't a passionate disagreement on the merits of proactive justice. This is one side trying to survive while one tries to preserve the status quo. There's simply no way for that conflict to carry the same drama as Civil War, Avengers vs. X-men, or even the infamous Clone Saga.

With Inhumans vs. X-men #3, though, the story avoids any effort at creating meaningful drama around the conflict. There seems to be this unspoken acceptance that such drama is impossible. That may be a byproduct of the messy circumstances surrounding the story, but it doesn't change the outcome. There's no emotional weight to give impact of the story. It tries to roar like the Hulk, but hits with the intensity of a feather duster.

The action won't get anyone's heart racing. It won't get anyone to stand up and cheer for one side over the other. The only thing Inhumans vs. X-men #3 accomplishes is moving the plot forward. Even in this context, however, that progress is limited because it requires the story to ignore many of those messy circumstances surrounding the conflict.

At this stage, the Inhuman royal family is down for the count. The X-men have them contained in Limbo, thereby giving them the time they need to destroy the Terrigen Mist that's poisoning their species. Them having the advantage and the most to lose creates this strange situation where seeing the younger Inhumans rally against them doesn't generate the sentiment that most would associate with underdogs. There's no iconic training montage or Captain America speech to inspire them. They just call up some of their allies on a cell phone and go from there.

That's really the extent of the Inhumans' recourse. With the royal family neutralized, they turn to the other younger Inhumans like Ms. Marvel, Moon Girl, and Quake for help. There's no depth or drama to enlisting them. They literally just call them up, they acknowledge the situation, and they start making preparations. They put as much effort into crafting a counter-strike as most people put into ordering a pizza. They call each other up and just like that, they're a team ready to strike back against the X-men.

In addition to this being extremely bland, there's no effort on the part of the younger Inhumans to understand the conflict. They just see that the X-men attacked New Attilan and that's it. There's no heated debate on what to do, how to do it, or even why they're doing it in the first place. They react the same way they would if Hydra attacked New Attilan and that just compounds the underlying problem with the Inhumans vs. X-men conflict.

There's no getting around the implications. These young, inexperienced Inhumans are not just fighting the X-men, some of which are close friends with characters like Ms. Marvel. They're fighting against a desperate group of people trying to save their species from extinction. If the young Inhumans succeed, that means that countless innocent mutants suffer and die. If they fail and the X-men succeed, then no one dies. The Inhumans will face some difficult new challenges, but again, it wouldn't require that anyone die. There's just no way to be underdogs in that situation.

If there is an effort on the part of Soule and Lemire in Inhumans vs. X-men #3, it falls short by a wide margin. That's not to say there isn't substance within the story. It does succeed in adding new complications to both sides. The Inhumans do manage to hinder the X-men's efforts to destroy the Terrigen Mist and are able to buy time for their side to recover from the initial attack. Again, unless someone is a die-hard Inhuman fan, it's hard to root for them.

The Inhumans still try to carry themselves as though they're the underdogs and have just taken a few devastating punches to the jaw. On the surface, and only on the surface, it works just enough to keep the sequence of events going. Dig just a little bit deeper and the unpleasant truth is still there. The Inhumans are still trying to stop another species from saving itself. If the most they have to lose is not being able to create new Inhumans in a way that murders innocent mutants, then they can't be underdogs. Carrying themselves as such is just dishonest, misguided, and downright insipid.

Final Score: 4 out of 10

First Shots and Fatal Flaws: Inhumans vs. X-men #1

The following is my review of Inhumans vs. X-men #1, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

What does it take for a clash between two superhero teams to be interesting these days? That's an increasingly relevant question because modern comics, as well as the movies they inspire, have gotten to a point where heroes fight each other more often than they fight actual villains. It seems an entire generation of comic book fans and creators have read Mark Millar's Civil War and desperately want to recreate that success, much to Mr. Millar's chagrin.

Those efforts, and the desperation behind them, don't often yield results. In fact, in the decade since Civil War, it seems as though that one stunning success was lightning in a bottle and trying to capture it again is like keep up with a race between Flash and Quicksilver. It's a losing battle, but one that still inspires more superhero clashes.

Avengers vs. X-men went to great lengths to match the scope of Civil War, leading to mixed results at best. Inhumans vs. X-men, the latest attempt to make heroes fighting heroes compelling once more, can't go to those lengths or match that scope. In some ways, this is a good thing because it means that Charles Soule and Jeff Lemire, the writers who have been developing the Inhumans and X-men respectively, can't follow the same formula.

The ingredients this time are very different. This is not about proactive justice or superhero legislation. Inhumans vs. X-men is set up with the simplest of circumstances. One team's very existence threatens to destroy another. Now, it's no longer possible for both teams to occupy the same world and not just because of clashes involving movie rights. This clash finally manifests in Inhumans vs. X-men #1 and while there's a lot of plotting, there isn't much drama or impact. Mark Millar can probably sleep easy for now.

The story doesn't hit the ground running. It doesn't drag either. Lemire and Soule are very careful, if not too careful, to set up the internal politics guiding the X-men. Unlike the Inhumans royal family, they must deal with the grim prospect of either going to war, leaving the planet, or being gassed to death. The most the Inhumans have to worry about is being mildly inconvenienced by the prospect that they'll be responsible for purging the whole planet of mutants. That may upset those who work at Sentinel factories, the stakes for them aren't quite as high.

This is the inherent flaw of the underlying conflict in Inhumans vs. X-men and this flaw has plagued every story leading up to this one to some extent. The conflict tries to frame the situation as balanced. For one side, the Terrigen Mist is life. For the other, the mist is death. In principle, it makes for a balanced conflict. In practice, however, it highlights a disparity that undermines any drama this conflict tries to inspire.

This is where the mentality of Inhumans vs. X-men clashes with the actual mechanics of the conflict. Beast makes it clear to his fellow X-men that the mutant will die if they stay remain on a planet where the Terrigen Mist roams unencumbered. It's not a matter of preserving their culture or their way of life. It's a matter of avoiding a horrible, painful death and the extinction of an entire species.

For the Inhumans, the particulars of the conflict can't be less similar. They're not facing extinction. They're not facing the death of their people. At most, they're facing a major inconvenience in that the future of their species will face uncertainty. However, uncertainty is a far cry from dying a horrible death at the hands of a poison cloud. Given that there are mutants like Magneto, who have direct experience with the horrors of a minority being gassed to death, it ensures this conflict remains utterly unbalanced.

Now that's not to say that the Inhumans make no effort to aid the X-men. They do show that when they detect a mutant in the path of the Terrigen Mist, they will go out of their way to get that mutant to safety. The X-men even use this policy against them in instigating the conflict. However, their unwillingness to let anyone taint this cloud that is bringing so much death to a minority that has subject to one too many Sentinel attacks still makes the conflict feel unbalanced.

To their credit, Jeff Lemire and Charles Soule still make an effort to navigate the conflict in a way that demonstrates a certain level of substance. Leinil Yu's art skills also add a distinct style as well. They highlight the high emotions of certain characters, especially Emma Frost and Beast. It gives the sense that Inhumans Vs. X-men #1 is a seamless extension from the story that has been unfolding since Death of X.

Along with these emotions, there's a distinct attention to detail that other superhero clashes like Avengers vs. X-men lacked. There isn't just some elaborate rallying cry ripped from the Braveheart movie. The X-men don't just blindly attack the Inhumans. They actually employ some strategy, which is kind of important in any conflict that is likely to involve explosions. They single out powerful Inhumans like Black Bolt and Karnak. They find ways to neutralize them. There's no magic to it. There are no cosmic forces disrupting the story. It actually feels like a substantive conflict.

Inhumans vs. X-men #1 has all the basics of a superhero clash. It even has a few refinements here and there. However, it doesn't have enough to make the conflict feel balanced. The biggest flaw in the story has to do with the larger circumstances surrounding it. In following this story, it's still painfully obvious which franchise's movie rights aren't wholly owned by Marvel and Disney. This limits the impact. Nobody's heart will be racing here because it's too obvious which side has the most to gain.

Some flaws are inescapable. Whether or not these flaws will undermine the conflict remains to be seen. Lemire and Soule have an uphill battle ahead of them and they may only be able to go so far up that hill. At the end of the day, the conflict between the Inhumans and the X-men still comes off as uneven and petty. At the very least, it also means that Mark Millar's title as the last writer to craft a decent superhero clash is safe for now.

Final Score: 6 out of 10

Setting Up An Ominous (And Overdue) Conflict: Inhumans vs. X-men #0

The following is my review of Inhumans vs. X-men #0, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Some epic struggles need no setup or backstory. If the story involves a knight and a dragon, then it's usually fairly clear who must be slayed and who is doing the slaying. There is certainly a need to establish the setting for such a struggle. Sometimes that setting is as big a part of the story as the proverbial dragon-slaying. When it comes to the X-men and the Inhumans, the setting for a conflict is basically a formality at this point.

This is a setup that doesn't need to be belabored. The events of Death of X, as well as the various events that unfolded in the pages of Extraordinary X-men and Uncanny X-men, make it abundantly clear that these two teams are going to try and kill each other at some point. It's just a matter of when, where, in what circumstances, and how unbalanced it's going to be.

Since the conclusion of Secret Wars, the tension between the X-men and Inhumans is anything but balanced. Once side has the benefit of movie rights and an ongoing TV show. The other side's movie rights are being held hostage by a rival company who managed to help Josh Trank ruin his directing career. Logistically speaking, there's no way this conflict can ever be balanced.

Jeff Lemire and Charles Soule have an impossible task with the Inhumans vs. X-men event. With Inhumans vs. X-men #0, they can at least put the pieces in place on the proverbial chessboard. The first shot isn't fired. The first ultimatum isn't issued. Nobody from the X-men or Inhumans even starts trash talking one another on social media. However, the story makes clear that these two teams are on a collision course and Emma Frost has her foot on the gas petal.

In essence, Inhumans vs. X-men #0 is both a setup issue for a larger conflict and an Emma Frost story. It acts as a continuation of the events that unfolded in Death of X. In wake of Cyclops' death, she is the one who carries on the fight that he began. However, this is not one of those conflicts where a few extra hours in the Danger Room and a few team-ups with Deadpool can will equip the X-men for the coming battle.

Emma Frost doesn't try to be Cyclops in this story. She's going to fight his battles, but she's going to do it her way. That means using her wit, her cunning, and her willingness to do immoral things for moral reasons. It's what makes her the White Queen. It's what makes her a dangerous enemy and a questionable ally. Most importantly, though, it helps add some level of balance to the coming conflict.

It's still not balanced by any objective measure, but Emma Frost navigates this narrative in a manner that makes clear this won't be a simple shouting match between Storm and Medusa. This won't be a battle that Black Bolt can end just by whispering either. She gathers allies, makes deals with shady characters, and even trains herself to be ready in case her cunning and deceit just isn't enough. In the grand scheme of things, Emma Frost is the only one in the X-men who is actually prepared for a battle with the Inhumans.

Her story in Inhumans vs. X-men #0 carries the bulk of the dramatic weight and provides most of the substance. The role of the other characters involved, however, aren't quite as engaging. If anything, they reinforce the ongoing imbalance between the X-men and the Inhumans. It gives the ominous impression that one side still has way too many advantages for this to be a fair fight.

Throughout the narrative, the Inhumans carry themselves with an aura of selfish arrogance. They seem less concerned about helping an entire population of innocent mutants and more concerned about the possibility that they might have to fight a larger war with the X-men. They give the impression that they're more worried about being inconvenienced than saving lives. Even without the inherent imbalance between the two sides, it's hard to root for the Inhumans, given how they conduct themselves.

That's not to say the X-men are any easier to root for. Other than Emma Frost, Beast plays a major role in setting up the conflict, albeit indirectly. He's the only other character besides Emma who contributes to the drama, but his story is far less effective. His efforts to work with the Inhumans to resolve this conflict without violence are entirely noble in terms of intentions. Those intentions, however, clash with the unforgiving imbalance between the two sides. He's not the only one realizes that either.

Medusa, the current ruler of the Inhumans, goes so far as to adopt some of Emma Frost's tactics. She also understands that a conflict between the Inhumans and X-men is inevitable and that concerns her far more than any suffering the Terrigen Mists are inflicting. Even if her intentions are ethically suspect, her understanding of the situation is every bit as pragmatic as Emma's. Whether or not she can be as cunning as the former White Queen remains to be seen, but it definitely adds some intrigue to the coming conflict.

Inhumans vs. X-men #0 does succeed, albeit in a limited capacity, in creating some compelling stakes for the coming conflict. Both sides are preparing. Neither side wants to be caught off-guard. However, the issues that manifested in Death of X remain.

There are still inconsistencies between the events surrounding this conflict and the events that have unfolded in other X-books since Secret Wars. The strange and unwarranted hatred of Cyclops that seemed to fuel the X-men's narrative remains unexplained, which makes the conflict and the setup surrounding it feel incomplete and lacking in context.

In addition, characters not named Emma Frost do little to stand out. As a result, the impact of Inhumans vs. X-men #0 doesn't offer anything novel or groundbreaking. It just reinforces the inevitability and imbalance of a clash between the X-men and the Inhumans. One is poised to thrive. One is poised to die. One has Marvel's unconditional support with movie rights. One remains stuck under the thumb of Rupert Murdoch. At this point, it a sentiment that need not be reinforced.

Final Score: 6 out of 10

The Problem With Inhumans vs. X-men (via ComicsVerse)

The following is an article I wrote for ComicsVerse. Just thought I'd share it here. Enjoy!

Did you hear? Marvel is pitching another hero-versus-hero event for this winter. Again.

We shouldn’t be too surprised. Ever since 2005, when the first CIVIL WAR sold like tacos at a Deadpool convention, this has been the go-to story for big Marvel events. It’s not enough to see Captain America punch the Red Skull in the jaw anymore. We need to see him knock Tony Stark’s teeth out. It may be overplayed, but it sells and we can’t blame Marvel for giving the people what they want.

There’s just one big problem with this upcoming event: It involves the X-Men and the Inhumans. On paper, this looks like a diet version of AVENGERS VS. X-MEN, but people still drink Diet Coke and tolerate the taste. If it can pit another couple of superhero teams together and get the message boards going, then why wouldn’t it be a good idea? It’s working with CIVIL WAR II. So, what’s the problem?

To illustrate this issue, here’s a little thought experiment. Go back and watch the first BACK TO THE FUTURE movie. Specifically, watch the scene in the diner where Marty McFly has to fight off Biff Tanner. Now, imagine for a second that Biff Tanner is given a shot of steroids, a fully-loaded AK-47, and an unlimited supply of crystal meth. That should give you a good idea of the problem with an X-Men vs. Inhumans conflict.

To their credit, Marvel is making a concerted effort to set up this clash. Since the nebulous eight-month gap that followed SECRET WARS and the excessive flexibility it allows, they’ve set up a status quo where mutants have been sterilized yet again after having just solved their last sterilization plot three years ago. This time, they have the Inhumans to thank for this. It turns out that the big green cloud that turns people into Inhumans also poisons mutants.

For some reason, Cyclops has a problem with this. Given how the solution to the last sterilization crisis landed him in jail, who can blame him? Naturally, he fights the Inhumans in an off-panel conflict and somehow screws up so badly that mutants are more hated than head lice, cockroaches, and the IRS combined.

The Inhumans, on the other hand, are celebrated and subject to zero Sentinel attacks, despite having their base near a heavily populated area. By all accounts, the X-Men have a long list of reasons to go to war with the Inhumans. At the top of the list: the fact that their sacred cloud is roaming the Earth, killing and sterilizing mutants everywhere, and they aren’t doing much about it. The only surprise is that it took this long for Marvel to make an event of it.

Despite these efforts, the problem remains. There’s a fundamental difference between mutants and Inhumans from a conceptual standpoint. Those differences make it impossible, if not downright asinine, for this to be a balanced conflict. It goes back to what mutants stand for. They are, and always have been, a metaphor for minority struggles. They came about in the early 1960s, just as the Civil Rights Movement was taking hold in America. They embody the traits of the marginalized, the denigrated, and the persecuted.

That’s still a powerful message today. There are outgroups and outcasts in every era. They didn’t ask to be born in their current condition. This is just the hand they were dealt. In the same way that we can’t change the color of our skin or the gender we’re attracted to, mutants and minorities like them can’t change what they are.

Compare that to the Inhumans. They are, by their own admission, not a product of nature or evolution. They’re a product of alien science experiments. That alone doesn’t set them apart too much. However, like the disclaimer in every pharmaceutical ad, it’s the fine print that makes the details so frustrating. From a mutant perspective, and a minority perspective for that matter, these details are an affront to the struggles they endure.

It’s not enough for someone to be born with Inhuman DNA. In order for them to become what they are, they have to be exposed to a very specific catalyst. In this case, it’s the Terrigen Mists. This isn’t some unseen, unpredictable force. It’s big green cloud. It’s tangible, it’s predictable, and it sweeps through an area like fog. It does nothing other than activate latent Inhumans. It’s a convenient, if not crass, way to gain superpowers. It also makes the theme of the Inhumans the complete antithesis of mutants.

As I previously stated, mutants are a metaphor for minorities. They are born this way. Just being alive is what makes them mutants. With the Inhumans, it takes an outside force to make them what they are. As a real-world parallel, that’s like saying that it takes a specific form of trauma to make somebody gay or it takes a specific kind of mental illness to make someone transgender. These are the arguments that anti-gay protesters have been using for decades. The Pat Robertsons and Rick Santorums of the world say that nobody is born this way. They say these people have a disease that must be cured.

A mutant doesn’t have control over how and when their powers manifest. For most of them, it just means surviving until puberty. An Inhuman, on the other hand, does have some level of control. Even if they don’t know whether they carry Inhuman DNA, they can just avoid the Terrigen Mists and not take a chance. This ensures they never manifest any Inhuman powers. If a parent doesn’t want their child to become an Inhuman, they can just hide them or take them to a place where the Terrigen Mists can’t get them. The parents of mutant children don’t have that luxury. It’s completely antithetical to what it means to be a minority. It’s not something that can be avoided.

The Inhumans, as a concept, are an affront to the themes of the X-Men. Despite their differences, though, the two teams could still share certain struggles. Their powers and their ability to control them makes them different. There’s still some chance that they can relate on some levels. Unfortunately, that chance passed them by long ago.

Whereas mutants emerged all over the world within various parts of human society, the Inhumans remained completely isolated and cut off from the world for most of their history. Not only that, but they govern themselves in a manner that has one too many similarities with Game of Thrones and North Korea.

The Inhumans are not run like the Xavier Institute, where there’s a mentor who simply offers others a chance to learn and grow in a safe environment. They operate in a rigid caste system the likes of which would give Mahatma Ghandi a heart attack. There’s a royal family whose power is absolute. There’s an entire population of slaves in the Alpha Primitives. Those that aren’t slaves are still isolated from the rest of the world, immersed in a kingdom whose traditions include an inherent mistrust of outsiders and a xenophobia that Ann Coulter would find extreme.

These are the X-Men’s foes: a group of super-powered, racist, xenophobic slave owners who didn’t bother doing anything for anyone until they couldn’t stay hidden anymore. It wasn’t until the events of Infinity War that the Inhumans actually made an effort to contribute to the world. Say what you will about the X-Men and their inability to foster peace with humanity. At least they actively tried to integrate with the human race. They tried to make meaningful contributions to civilization. The Inhumans never did squat until they didn’t have the luxury of staying hidden anymore.

Despite this, the Marvel Universe accepts the Inhumans as heroes. They still carry themselves as heroes. They’re still celebrated as heroes. Wannabe villains still send killer robots to attack mutant schools, but a society of racist xenophobic slave-owners? They somehow get a pass.

The very foundations of these two teams are at odds with one another. Part of what makes superhero clashes like CIVIL WAR work is that both sides have valid points. It’s possible to argue the merits of either side. It’s a little bit harder to argue the merits of a side whose traditions include racism, xenophobia, and slavery. They have to fight the X-Men, who do have a long history of helping other superhero teams and saving the world, even when it’s not convenient.

It simply can’t be an equal fight. Marvel has been trying to raise the profile for the Inhumans, albeit for all the wrong reasons and in all the wrong ways. They dedicated an entire season of AGENTS OF SHIELD to making the Inhumans popular. The problem is that they did this by trying to make them exactly like mutants. This simply cannot be done. Making the Inhumans into mutants is like making the New York Yankees into underdogs. It cannot be done logically, believably, or with a straight face.

Despite this, the Inhumans still have the advantage in one key area: movie rights. It’s a poorly-kept secret that Marvel gives preferential treatment to characters and properties whose movie rights they own. They may deny this, but how else do they explain the X-Men and Fantastic Four being absent from cartoons, toys, posters, video games, and various merchandise? What other reason could they have for going out of their way to marginalize mutants while giving extra leniency to a secret society of super-powered beings who segregate themselves from the world, maintain a rigid caste system, and only act heroic when it’s convenient?

It’s debatable just how much movie rights will be a factor in Inhumans vs. X-Men. From the perspective of Charles Soule and Jeff Lemire, the writers of this event, it may not be more than a passing thought. Unfortunately, the perception has already weaved its way into the reality that message boards and paranoid comic fans form in their heads. Anyone who has been following politics during this year’s election season understands all too well just how much paranoia and perception play into debate.

Whatever the outcome and whatever the legal undertones, the concept between Inhumans vs. X-Men is flawed. On one side, you have a minority that has been forcibly sterilized twice in the past decade. On the other, you have a team with a tradition of racism, xenophobia, and slavery. It’s not a battle between heroes as much as it is an exercise in contrivance. The only way this story is going to work on any level is for the fundamentals to be contrived in the mold of Bat Shark Repellant. For the same company that gave us CIVIL WAR and AVENGERS VS. X-MEN, Marvel has no excuses.