Brightest Day #22 - Awesome on a Cosmic Level

A new issue of Brightest Day is out and you know what that means! As per my usual ritual when I get the next installment in this book, I strip naked and sacrifice a goat to the comic gods. Then I do my ceremonial dance that involves smoking some unidentified weed that grows in my sister's basement. Once I come to and find out where my clothes our, I come back here and post a full review of the awesome that is Brightest Day. The past few issues have been obscenely awesome to say the least. Their glory shines with the radiance of Natalie Portman's face, Jennifer Lopez's ass, Megan Fox's pussy, and Jenna Jameson's rack. It's become one of the best events in comics and sadly, it's almost over. There are only two issues left. TWO! There are more seasons of the Jersey Shore left, which in and of itself should be more tragic than fifty BP oil spills.

In these waning issues, everything has been coming together. Plots have been resolved, twists have been unraveled, and characters have been turned into worm shit. The White Lantern is basically acting out a Dr. Dre music video and popping caps in the asses of all the heroes it helped save in Blackest Night. The Hawks are gone. Aquaman turned to dust and just as he was about to get it on with a hot redhead! Then J'onn J'ozz met his end in the previous issue. Or did he? That's a small sliver of the awesomeness that Brightest Day has unleashed. There's still a bit of a mystery as to what the hell the White Lantern is doing. Did it just realize that life ain't all it's cracked up to be and feel like it needed to do these heroes a favor? Or is there a bigger plan at work?

At the end of the previous issue, J'onn J'ozz seemed to know something that Boston Brand didn't. If you recall, Boston has essentially been hijacked in a ways only Columbian cab driver could envy. He's basically been a meat puppet for the White Lantern to do it's bidding. In a sense that makes him the same as Snookie after she's had a few drinks...very susceptible to suggestion and easy to fuck with. However, J'onn didn't turn to dust when the White Lantern decided his mission was over and he needed to feed the worms again. He was essentially absorbed back into the ground the same way the Irish absorb alcohol. J'onn seemed to understand what the White Lantern was doing and like a drunk girl crying on your shoulder about how her daddy never loved her, he went with it.

That's another plot brought to an end, leaving very few left with only a few issues to work with. Brightest Day #22 revisits Firestorm, who hasn't shown up much in the last few issues. If you recall (and by recall I mean look at my former reviews or if you're a lazy douche wikipedia the damn thing) the two college-age frat rats that make up the Firestorm matrix, Ronnie and Jason, are up to their ears and shit. Part of it is because Jason is pissed at Ronnie for killing his girlfriend in Blackest Night. That's almost as bad as making a porno tape with her and broadcasting it on pay-per-view. Then Professor Stein, the guy behind the Firestorm matrix, revealed to them that their collective power was so volatile that it could cause another big bang capable of destroying the universe. I will repeat that. The entire safety of the universe was resting upon the shoulders of two college guys who haven't even learned to pay their own electric bill yet. That's like relying on George W. Bush to make a good impression for America. It's bound to end in disaster and possibly a few expensive and bloody wars.

So Ronnie and Jason had to get along. That lasted all but five minutes. They ended up getting into the super-powered equivalent of a bar brawl, which helped trigger the re-creation of the Black Lanterns. They ended up stealing the White Lantern and taking it to the anti-matter universe, but not without abducting Jason's father and Professor Stein. Now Firestorm is tuck in the anti-matter universe as well where he's been chilling while Boston Brand has been on it's killing spree, they've been stumbling around for answers like drunk trying to find his car keys when he realizes he's out of pretzels. In the same way this situation leads to a DWI and a few manslaughter charges, Firestorm ends up crossing paths with the Anti-Monitor. He looks like a golemn fucked Mount Rushmore. He's essentially DC's version of Galactus minus the naked guy in silver who hangs out with him. In other words, he's not quite as gay.

While Ronnie and Jason were sight-seeing, the Anti-Monitor has been busy making new friends in the Black Lanterns. These friends helped him use the White Lantern's life-creating force so he can consume a fresh universe. It's basically like giving a morbidly obese diabetic a magic machine that instantly forms chocolate cakes with a ball of melted butter at the center. Except with the Anti-Monitor, consuming all that shit won't give him a heart-attack and put him into diabetic shock. It'll just make him stronger. It's like steroids minus the shriveled testicles. Fortunately for the universe and Anti-Monitor's balls, the White Lantern fights back. It apparently doesn't like being used the same way Lindsey Lohan uses a line of cocaine.

This gives Ronnie and Jason a chance to set aside their differences and kicks. Unlike 99.999% of all college students in that situation, they're able to set aside an issue regarding a girlfriend and work together. They unload on the Anti-Monitor in a way Peter North would be proud of. The Black Lanterns see this and prepare to fight back with the Black Lantern Firestorm sounding like Keanu Reeves when he's off Ritalin. Ronnie and Jason don't just fly in guns blazing like it's an Iraqi bachelor party. There seems to be a plan with them and it involves forces that most who slept through chemistry class won't understand.

This leads to a creative little moment involving a giant match. No really. Firestorm forms a giant match in the Anti-Matter universe. You can't make this shit up without the appropriate dose of hallucinogenic mushrooms. I don't know what Geoff Johns was taking when he wrote this, but I want to know where I can get some! That giant match creates an explosion that blows up in the Anti-Monitor's face in a way akin MC Hammer's finances. It fucks up the Black Lanterns too, giving Firestorm the window he needs to grab the White Lantern and get away like Britney Spears at a rehab clinic.

The Anti-Monitor doesn't take kindly to his meal ticket being stolen so he and the Black Lanterns fight back. A universe eater may sound like all muscle, but you don't get that kind of power without having some semblance of intelligence. So rather than fight Firestorm, he saves himself a step and does the next best thing. He de-powers them by splitting up the Firestorm matrix. If only people thought that far ahead in real life then maybe we wouldn't have had to fight a second Iraq war.

So now Firestorm has been reduced to two whiney frat boys. The universe couldn't be in worse hands if you put Lawrence Taylor in a windowless room with a cute 15-year-old virgin. Deathstorm adds insult to injury, reminding Ronnie of how he was so heroic when he first died and now he's the equivalent of a kitten trying to avoid a bath. He's doing everything he can to piss Ronnie off, that way he and the rest of the Black Lanterns can feed on his emotions. This doesn't sit well with the Anti-Monitor, who just wants to chow down on some yummy universes. Something is very fucked up when he's the most sympathetic character in a scene. The guy wants to eat. Like a guy after a fresh joint, sometimes you just gotta eat! I'm with you, Anti-Monitor! Kindred spirits buddy!

The Black Lanterns are sick of dicking around. They're hungry too and for all the wrong reasons. Seriously, wouldn't it have been easier to just fuck up Ronnie and Jason's shit without the Anti-Monitor? Why does a universe-eating entity need to be involved? Either way, Deathstorm sets his sights on Jason. He threatens to turn him to dust the same way he did with his girlfriend. Well Ronnie finally feels that hero impulse again. It makes him jump out and protect Jason. This would be a very noble sacrifice, but then Professor Stein has to spoil it. Way to go Ronnie! When your teacher is more heroic than you and you're not even sleeping with him, you're pretty low in the pecking order!

All immature college frat jokes aside, what happens next is a very touching moment. Professor Stein is dying and Ronnie wants to save him. He can't go through the whole Brightest Day ordeal as the least heroic guy in that he bickered with Jason, he's somewhat responsible for killing Jason's girlfriend, he's reluctant to be a hero, and he whines like a baby when Deathstorm pulls the Black Lantern equivalent of the Jedi mind trick. Ironically, Anti-Monitor proves to be more likable again by shooting back at the Black Lanterns, who only seem interested in fucking with him when all he's trying to do is get a good meal. This gives Ronnie and Jason the window they need to be Firestorm again and try to save the professor before he pays Jason's girlfriend a one-way visit. And that's not a joke about hookers for once.

It turns into a solemn scene. As with the previous three issues of Brightest Day, death isn't avoided and this time it isn't by surprise. Professor Stein takes a moment to tell Ronnie that as a booze-hounding college student, he used the Firestorm matrix to be a hero when he could have used it to invade sorority houses and hold their panties for ransom. That says a lot about him even though Ronnie has been about as heroic as stoner who misplaced his weed throughout Brightest Day. He also gives a message to Jason, encouraging him and Ronnie to work together. They can be a better Firestorm (assuming they can overlook the whole Ronnie killing Jason's girlfriend at one point). With this final message, the Professor turns to dust and the Black Lanterns close in to finish the job.

So finally Ronnie is in a position to kick ass. He and Jason ban together and prepare to beat the entire Black Lantern Corps, something that took every hero in the DC Universe in Blackest Night. It would be by far the greatest act of badassery. They would have to walk around with a miniature kart to haul their massive balls around. It would be so fitting. Then once again, the White Lantern shows up to fuck everything up. Before Ronnie can even hulk out, Boston shows up with the lantern and wipes out Deathstorm and his minions in a single bright burst.

Wait...that's it? The Black Lanterns were damn near invincible in Blackest Night and they're taken out in a single page? This is usually the kind of fight that Geoff Johns can't resist stretching out for half an issue! And this is all he does with it? Have the lantern come in and end the fight before Ronnie even has a chance to redeem himself? It really disrupts the powerful moment that Ronnie just had with the Professor. He finally gets an opportunity to kick ass and someone else does it for him. It sort of misses the point and disrupts the rhythm of the story for the first time in many issues. The roller coaster of Brightest Day doesn't stall because of this, it does let out one of those ominous hissing sounds that's never comforting when you're going a hundred miles an hour in a loop while trying to keep your lunch for the last three days in your stomach.

When the light fades, Ronnie and Jason aren't chilling with Jesus, Greg Giraldo, and Michael Jackson. They're back in the same forest on Earth where J'onn J'ozz was absorbed like a sham wow stain. Not only that, the White Lantern took the liberty of tying up all the other loose ends. It returned Jason's father back to his home, presumably making it so he believed he just got drunk and had a bad dream that didn't involve giant bottles trying to spoon him (I can't be the only one that has that dream). It's the least douchy thing the White Lantern has done in the last few issues, but Ronnie isn't satisfied. He wants the White Lantern to bring back the Professor. It refuses. It says it has everything it needs. It's not clear what this entails, but then Deadman appears behind him and asks for the White Lantern. And by ask I mean he demands it because the world depends on it. Unlike the previous issues, Deadman isn't running scared or begging them to run away. He seems to know something now that he didn't know before. Is this because J'onn knew something too? It's really not clear, but it adds to the mystery yet again!

For the answers, we have to wait another freakin' issue! Not only that, it's the next to last issue! That's right. Brightest Day is almost over and somewhere out there, a hundred kittens are drowning over the sorrow of this news. There isn't much left to do. Pretty much every plot has been addressed and there are two issues left to bring it all home. If you've been following this series and that doesn't excite you, call a hospital immediately because either your heart has stopped or you never had one to begin with.

We're on the seven inning stretch! The two minute warning! And whatever the hell people do to get excited at the end of a soccer match! Brightest Day has been such an intense ride. It couldn't be more intense if you laced the pages with cocaine and every issue came with a free hit of meth. The final plot lines are coming together. Firestorm was one of the last remaining characters that the series had been following. His journey came to an end against the Anti-Monitor and the Black Lanterns. It was a battle on a cosmic scale after previous battles had been on personal and planetary scales. Yet the same kind of drama and heart were thrust into the story that makes you want to gush with feeling that your girlfriend always complains you never show. It's like male PMS minus the bloating.

There's a lot to love about this issue. It followed many of the same themes from the previous issues, but bumped up the scale with the Black Lanterns and the Anti-Monitor. It was such a powerful setting that the resolution was very weak by comparison. In the previous issues I didn't have anything to criticize at the end. This time is different. This time I do take issue with how quickly everything was resolved by the White Lantern. It was abrupt and underdeveloped, two words that I almost never use when reviewing a Geoff Johns comic. There was still the heart and emotion that makes Brightest Day such a pleasure, but the depth of the previous two issues just wasn't there. At the very least the issue ends without a dead body on the final page. There's also the promise of more mystery. The White Lantern has been going on this killing spree and now it's out of revived superheroes to kill. So what does that mean? That answer is still not clear and there are two issues left with which to bring it all together.

These minor flaws don't make Brightest Day less awesome as a whole. However, it does keep me from giving another perfect score to this issue. I know I've had a streak of perfect scores going for this comic. I wish it could continue, but the way the White Lantern finished everything within a page is too much for me to overlook. So I give Brightest Day #22 a final score of 4.5 out of 5. That half point is just for that one page. Everything else was flawless. With only two issues left, I may have to adjust my scale to adequately describe the awesome that Brightest Day is employing. I'll find some way to put it into words even if I have to exhaust every boob and ass joke in the English lexicon! Nuff said.

Brightest Day #19 - From Tragedy To Awesome

I know I made a big deal of Brightest Day #18 a few weeks ago and for good reason. I'm still picking up pieces of my brain off the floor after it was utterly blown away by that issue. The cleaning ladies I hired demanded overtime and my insurance is looking to sue me for claiming 'overdose on awesome' as a condition they covered. While my lawyer is sorting out this mess, Brightest Day #19 comes out with a herculean challenge ahead of it. Trying to follow up an issue like Brightest Day #18 is like trying to satisfy a woman who just had multiple orgasms with Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt. The expectations are high and it may not be possible to rise to the occasion. But limp dick jokes aside, Geoff Johns has done it before. Since the end of this series is in sight, no one should doubt his ability to do it again.

So what made the last issue so great? Well it literally had everything. Mystery, check. Romance, check. Epic fight, check. Beautiful women, check. Crazy parents that aren't Robert De Niro, check. Surprise ending, double check. The story that had been unfolding with Hawkman and Hawkgirl came to a close. They had been waging war against Hawkgirl's mother for several issues, breaking the curse that had doomed them for many lifetimes and having to travel through a gateway made out of the bones of their ancestors. And just when it looked like they were going to have a happy ending by getting down and dirty, Deadman showed up at the behest of the White Lantern. When Hawkman and Hawkgirl refused to live their lives separately, the ring did what seemed most reasonable. It killed them by turning them into dust. For comic fans of all types, this is like seeing the end of Old Yeller the first time. Except this time two heroes had to go through the trouble of saving the world and breaking a curse, only to get shafted at the end. It's tragic, but it yanks on your heart strings in a way that reads like side-effects for a Viagra commercial.

Beyond the epic ending of the issue, it revealed a startling and disturbing development with the White Lantern. Since the beginning of Brightest Day, it does seem to have a mind of it's own. It's brought people back to life and it's saved Boston Brand's ass on more than one occasion. After this stunt with the Hawks though, the White Lantern comes off as a hell of a douche. It brings two characters back to life, gives them a chance at happiness, and then kills them? You have to be a cosmic level dick to be okay with that.

Brightest Day #19 picks up with Boston Brand standing over the ashes of the Hawks. As expected, he's pretty pissed. He had no control over what the ring did. He's like some guy who got carjacked by a bunch of drunk teenagers and thrown into the trunk while they go on a joyride. When he demands that the White Lantern bring back Hawkman and Hawkgirl, it continues to be a dick by flat out saying no.

The White Lantern isn't completely smug about it although it comes off as callous as Dr. House when he breaks the news to a terminally ill cancer patient. It explains that the planet Earth has been slowly poisoned over time by mankind. I get the sense Greenpeace paid DC for that spread. However, the events of Blackest Night acted as a tipping point. It added the proverbial nitro to the glycerine and would create a dark avatar that would make Nekron look like every villain played by Sylvester Stallone. The heroes the ring brought back to life were to play a role in stopping this. Some already did their part. Others like Firestorm, Aquaman, and the Martian Manhunter have a tougher path ahead of them. Hawkman and Hawkgirl did their part and their life force had to be purified. Somehow that meant killing them. The White Lantern doesn't go into details. It's as vague as OJ Simpson's alibi.

Now usually when explanations like this are thrown into a story, it's hard for them not to be contrived. After a surprise ending in the last issue, some blanks have to be filled in. Otherwise it makes for a pretty shitty story. That may be okay in bad fanfiction or if your name is Jeph Loeb, but for a series like Brightest Day that's a no-no. For the most part, this explanation is workable. It doesn't fill in all the blanks and why should it? The mystery is still unfolding. One of the greatest challenges of this book was to give reason behind what happened to Hawkman and Hawkgirl. The reason is vague, but it's a reason that doesn't make you roll your eyes. For that, Geoff Johns succeeded. Some may be a little pissed, but I'm guessing those people already have anger issues so I'll give it a pass.

The White Lantern still comes off as a dick, saying Hawkman and Hawkgirls' death was necessary. I think Josef Stalin used that excuse a lot in his day as well. It also hinted that these two may not be the only heroes that fall. So like those drunks that threw Boston in the trunk of his car, the White Lantern takes him on another mission. He doesn't even get a chance to argue whether saving the world is worth being such a dick.

The next battle that seems to be coming to a head is the one Aquaman is caught up in. A number of issues ago, Aquaman recruited a new Aqualad. His name is Jackson and he's the bastard son of Black Manta. He hasn't exactly shown his stripes as a superhero. In fact when he first got his chance to man up, he turned into a colossal pussy worthy of the Octomom. His balls eventually descended somewhat. He agreed to follow Aquaman in fighting back against Black Manta's buddies, who are planning to wage war on all air breathers. He also gets nosy and asks Aquaman about Mera, the hot redhead he basically cast aside. Given that he's a teenager, it's only natural he would question a man's intelligence for casting aside a beautiful woman. Aquaman plays the stubborn role that Ashton Kutcher is so good at playing in his movies. It's all business and none of them have any idea that the White Lantern may be coming along to fuck them over.

They eventually find the conflict they're looking for. They get sucked into the equivalent of an underwater shit storm (which we assume is a million times worse in water) and are thrown to shore. The don't end up on some desolate island either. They fall ashore on a busy beach that's full of tourists, kids, and drunken college students on Spring Break. It seems only natural that this would be the first place that Black Manta's people would attack. If you've got a grudge against the air breathers, why not hit the place where they come to unwind and get laid? It's cruel, but appropriate.

So it's just Jackson and Aquaman against a full onslaught from the seas. It's about as fair a fight as pitting Betty White against Mike Tyson. So they channel their inner Rocky Balboa (gotta make up for the shot I took at Stallone earlier) and stand their ground. They've got some superhero mojo going for them and since this is a comic, they hold their own. After being such a pussy earlier, Jackson is learning fast. He's still annoying Aquaman with questions though. For an army like this to get through, someone had to rig the game Oceans Eleven style. Aquaman doesn't have the answer, but Deadman shows up in the distance with the White Lantern. So the readers know who's playing the role of George Clooney in this mess and there's not a damn thing they can do about it.

The battle scene is well-developed. Aquaman does his part, but it's Jackson who shines. He's still making up for being such a pussy a few issues ago and he flexes his new powers in the same way Ben Rothlesburger flexes his drinking prowess at a college bar on ladies night. His balls keep descending and it turns out they're pretty solid. They're even solid enough to make him think he can go up against the leader of the attacking army, which happens to be a bitchy relative of Mera. She reminds the kid that a few days ago his life revolved around school, Facebook, and the Jersey Shore. He's got the heart of the hero, but a heart is useless if the brain is as underdeveloped as Zimbabwe.

Aquaman tries to help out when it looks like Jackson is standing up to the big bully before he's had a pep talk with Mr. T. He fights back against Siren as one would expect, showing slightly more skill than some teenager who just got his tights a few days ago. Siren responds by trying to psyche him out. She mentions Mera, the woman he was boning at the beginning of the series. She says that her people captured her and killed her with the same satisfaction an exterminator gets when he strangles a rat. Aquaman is understandably pissed. There aren't too many hot women that could toss his salad in the same way. So he gets the same look in his eye that Rick James gets when he enters a crack house. Then Black Manta shows up and fucks him up before he could channel his inner Rambo.

He's not subtle about it either. Manta cuts off Aquaman's hand. It may not be as surprising as Hawkman and Hawkgirl getting reduced to dust in the last issue, but a hero losing a limb is still a pretty big deal. If that weren't enough, Manta goes on to stab him. So let's recap. Aquaman finds out his girlfriend's relatives are douche-bags that are invading the surface world, he's babysitting a teenager who barely knows his dick from a supervillain, he finds out that the love of his life may have been butchered like a Thanksgiving turkey, his greatest enemy shows up and cuts off a hand, and then he get stabbed for good measure. So yeah, his day officially sucks worse than marketing team for the movie Battlefield Earth. He's wounded, humiliated, and on his knees and not in the Paris Hilton sort of way. He's basically in position to join the Hawks and Mera (assuming Siren wasn't bullshitting him). While the previous issue ended with a shocking death, this one ends with one hanging in the balance. It's not entirely the same, but different enough to be awesome on an epic level.

Going back to the initial challenge of following up an issue like Brightest Day #18, how would this measure up? Does it have all the same elements? Mystery, check. Action, check. Beautiful women, well Siren looks good in skin tight outfits so I'll give that a half-check. Romance, other than the mention of Mera that's another half-check. A surprise ending, double check! There's even some extra elements in this story like a new hero in Jackson who is still learning his right from his left. He doesn't just take up space either. He actually plays a role in the battle that he and Aquaman are fighting. It adds some appeal to the new Aqualad after he came off as such a wimp in past issues. The dialog and the art are still top notch and there's a lot of suspense building up. After the White Lantern took out the Hawks, it didn't say that others wouldn't suffer the same fate. We don't know yet if Aquaman will follow suit and we're left digging our nails into our spline in anticipation.

Now in all the time I've been reading comics, I've come to dread issues that follow up from others that were so good. When the bar is set so high, it's rare that a comic measures up. There were times that I actually wished that an issue wasn't quite so good because it set the series up for a downgrade. I was content with consistency rather than one good issue followed by several shitty issues. Brightest Day has been like that rare unicorn that shits diamond encrusted gold ingots. When a good issue comes along, it's usually followed up with one that's just as top notch. Brightest Day #19 had a big act to follow. History was not on it's side, but it kicked history in the balls and measured up.

Now I wouldn't go so far as to say that the impact of this issue was as intense as the previous issue. Two characters died in the last issue. You can't do that every issue. Marvel tried that with Ultimatum and it sucked worse than Lindsey Lohan on a bender in Tijuana. Geoff Johns didn't try to match that impact. Instead, he built on the suspense by making the reader wonder who else the White Lantern will decide must be purified in the same way that Nazis sought to purify the human race. It won't leave the reader with the same wow factor. Some may even read this comic and criticize it as a setup issue or loaded with filler. In some ways this issue is filler, but it's the good kind. It's like the cheese and hot sauce stacked between the meat and bun of a bacon burger from Five Guys. If this issue is setup, it set up the next big moment pretty damn well.

Brightest Day #19 did everything it needed to in order to continue from the previous issue at the same awesome level. I could not find too many flaws with it. The whole story went along smoothly while building upon an already intense storyline. For that I'm left to give Brightest Day #19 a 5 out of 5. I know I give a lot of perfect scores to Brightest Day, but I wouldn't give them if the series didn't deserve it. Brightest Day earns every bit of praise and blow-job metaphors that I give it. This series is awesome and if you only read one DC comic a month, this is your best bet for quality awesome. Nuff said!

Brightest Day #17 - Sentimental Awesome

I know! I know! It's been too long since we last bathed in the awesome of Brightest Day. I'm sure some of those who follow this blog can set their watch to the number of times I rant about how reading Brightest Day is akin to having a three-way with a Playboy playmate, a Victoria's Secret underwear model, and a drunk Megan Fox. I would spend more posts praising this series, but God was too cheap to make the days any longer so there is a quota to how much I can shake the pom-poms for this series. I may be a little melodramatic and reference illegal drugs one too many times, but it really is rare to find a series that not only constantly delivers quality with DC characters that often get overshadowed by guys with S's and bats on their chests but doesn't require waiting months in between issues. Sure this one took an extra week. I'm guessing the guys are DC were just hung over from the holidays. That's totally understandable! There are still some bar tabs I've yet to pay from my New Years party.

As great as Brightest Day has been, it's had a few hiccups as it passes the halfway point in the series. A few issues have been sub-par, which for Brightest Day is like being a slightly dusty ingot of gold with a naked Megan Fox etched on it. Some of these hiccups stem from the series taking a shift from the earlier books. When Brightest Day began it balanced multiple plots with multiple characters. Now usually when a comic does that it turns out disastrous because it requires writers to juggle so many stories they might as well be juggling hungry piranhas dipped in baby oil. Geoff Johns must have sacrificed several goats and a 13-year-old virgin to the gods because he managed to make it work. Then he shifted gears, focusing on only one or two plots between issues. That worked for a while, but after the Batman issue it started faltering like Lindsey Lohan's last sobriety attempt. The last issue started getting back to the style of the earlier books, throwing more plots in the blender and dicing it up a bit. It wasn't perfect, but it was a step back in the right direction.

Now Brightest Day #17 has come along to continue that direction and hopefully without crashing and burning like the Buffalo Bills in the Superbowl. It picks up right where the last issue left of and that's kind of unavoidable because the last issue ended with Firestorm seemingly destroying the universe. That's not a cute metaphor. That's what actually happened. Jason and Ronnie were getting into a bar fight again and that destabilized the Firestorm matrix. It destabilized it so much so that it seemed to cause another Big Bang, just as Professor Stern warned them. It was a cosmic level overkill. However, anybody who expected the destruction of the DC Universe to stick is either stupid or they're on some awesome shit I would love to inject into my veins at some point. As it turns out, Firestorm didn't destroy the universe. He was simply transported to the anti-matter universe where Boston Brand had visited earlier to pay a non-conjugal visit with the anti-monitor. It's about as appealing as it sounds.

Firestorm has to fight off Anti-Monitor's shadow army instead, which is sort of like doing a sound test for Ashley Simpson's backup singers. It's also here where his story is tied to the White Lantern, you know that thing that the whole Brightest Day series spun out of? It may seem jarring since that's easy to forget with so much going on, but it's a good reminder that's not as extreme as a brick to the side of the head. It also mentions Boston Brand and how he's still trying to find the guardian. He's dragging his feet, but Firestorm is picking up the slack. He's essentially playing to role of an underpaid Mexican maid, which means the ACLU should already be in the process of suing DC comics.

The whole universe ending scheme passes and we got to something simpler, yet just as awesome. The last time Boston Brand was on panel, he was swapping spit with Dove who is just as doable as Kendra Wilkenson minus the shame of a sex tape. They wake up after having bumped uglies the night before (implied of course, leaving readers to use their imagination for kinky fanfiction that may or may not include bondage) and sharing in the kind of afterglow reserved for HBO shows. It's a nice moment and one that's quite a shift from all the struggling going on. Comics can't always be a testosterone laden A-bomb a little heart and romance goes a long way to your girlfriend thinking you're less of a pig. It also shows that Boston is getting better at the whole being alive thing again.

During their post-sex smooching, he mentions his family. Again, Boston is still learning to be alive again and he's only begun to take it seriously after the past few issues. Now he mentions his 94 year old grandfather, who is still alive and probably within spitting distance of the grim reaper's shoes. It's not the same as battling the ghosts of some alien overlord looking to treat Earth like a blow-up doll, but it still adds some vital depth to the story.

Another love story that involves less smooching in the kitchen and more inter-dimensional ass-kicking is going on with Hawkman and Hawkgirl. They're story has been pretty much stalled for the past few issues, largely because other stories have hogged the spotlight. Last time they had some screen time Hawkgirl's dear mother strapped her and Hawkman to a portal and opened it up Zamaron, home of the Star Sapphires. It's not very romantic, but it beats the hell out of dinner at the Olive Garden.

When they arrive Hawkmama's army attacks the forces of Zamaron, which are now being guarded by Carol Ferris of the Star Sapphires. The job is new to her, but she's getting an early taste of action and manages to aid Hawkman and Hawkgirl. It's not out of charity though. She needs answers because when someone appears out of nowhere and starts attacking your new turf, you damn well better have an explanation or your new gig will become your old gig pretty damn fast.

As this epic struggle begins, a much smaller struggle unfolds with Boston and his grandfather. It turns out grandpappy Brand is in a nursing home in a wheelchair counting down the minutes he has left until his body kicks his ass into the morgue. He looks about as upbeat as you could expect a man that old to be (translation, he's not upbeat at all). However, when he sees Boston the old man's eyes light up like a 21-year-old the first time he steps foot in a strip club. It's a beautiful moment that would be right at home on the Lifetime channel so guys can show this to their girlfriends and maybe they won't be as inclined to call comics mindless entertainment. I would joke about how this could help a guy rope his girlfriend into a quick romp, but the moment between Boston and his grandfather is so touching I have to take a moment to wipe the tears from my eyes and pretend I got glass in them again.

It goes from sentimental to epic again, shifting back to Zamaron to make sure that the readers don't get too soft like pre-teen girls at the end of the first Twilight movie. Star Sapphire now has Hawkman and Hawkgirl leading the charge. Remember, this is Hawkgirl's mother they're up against. There's some added motivation to bring her down several pegs. Anybody who has had any mama drama in their live can appreciate a scene with two pissed off Hawkpeople standing against an army of flying monsters to stop an asshole parent.

The battle unfolds pretty quickly. Hawkman is left to slam his mace (not a masterbation joke) against the Manhawk army that Hawkmama brought with her while Hawkgirl goes for the less sentimental mother/daughter moment. There's nothing sweet about it. Hawkgirl gets a few good shots, more so than any pissed off teenage girl would ever get for a mother that wouldn't allow her to get that tattoo of the cross with six skulls on her sixteenth birthday. However, the fight doesn't last too long.

Before Hawkgirl could finish her heart-to-heart, the creature Starfire has been riding steps in and grabs Hawkmama away from the fight. Apparently, it senses that there's a lot of love for Hawkmama, but it ain't for her own flesh and blood. She loves power and she loves it the way Kanye West loves attention. It's not the respectable kind of love, but it's still a strong love and that's what the creature taps into. So rather than let the Hawks and Star Sapphire take on Hawkmam, she's granted the power of a lantern. It's basically akin to letting Lex Luthor cover his dick in Kryptonite.

So the Hawks are a new kind of screwed. All the while, a 94-year-old man is having more fun than a sponge bath by several Playboy playmates dressed only in thongs. Boston is giving his grandfather what could be his last thrill before checking out at the pearly gates. He takes him on a motorcycle ride and he shows more life than a five year old autistic at a water park. It's another powerful moment that's of a very personal nature. It may cause some to roll their eyes, but if you can't appreciate the depth and personal journey of some characters then you need to go to the doctors and have them test you for insufferable douche-bag syndrome, or IDS.

However, this Lifetime style family moment does more than just make an old man giddy as a Japanese school girl in a Hello Kitty convention. It does something to Boston's White Lantern powers. It actually starts charging it up. Now this is a little strange because this thing has flashed some power before. Granted, it's not exactly the most predictable power. Lady Gaga's wardrobe has been more predictable than the White Ring at times. Yet by reconnecting with his grandfather, Boston has somehow started charging the White Lantern. It's a strange new development that once again hints that the White Lantern is starting to show some teeth. The comic ends here, but it ends with plenty of possibilities. If anyone has an overactive imagination or reads too much fanfiction, they should be having seizures from so many ideas so take a moment before continuing.

In many ways Brightest Day #17 got back to what Brightest Day was all about. It floods the brains of the readers with as much DC caliber awesome from as many different angles as possible. Most everybody's defenses against such an attack would crumble like the Iraqi army, thus allowing the awesome to fill the brain. This comic didn't put all it's eggs in one basket. It gave time to Firestorm, Deadman, and the Hawks. Moreover, it tied them together by using the White Lantern as a linking force. It's part of what Brightest Day is all about and every part of it works. It's like all those eggs were golden and they were put into a basket weaved from the golden hairs of Pamela Anderson's pubic hair. It fit together in a way that the book hasn't fit together in a while now yet it's still just as satisfying.

There really isn't much to bitch about this time around. The last few issues have given me some minor yet noteworthy shortcomings that kept the books from being perfect. Much of those issues stemmed from some major components not fitting well. In this issue everything came together nicely. The only real problem some may have with it are the scene transfers can be a little abrupt and shortened. Each moment with each plot only lasts a few pages, but Geoff Johns makes each page count. So if anyone bitches about it, they're another potential victim of IDS. Good health is important! Check with your doctor today if you or a loved one shows symptoms!

There's really not much else to say. Brightest Day #17 deserves a 5 out of 5 through and through. It's the kind of comic that has become almost routine with this series. The only sad part is the end is in sight. Brightest Day was never meant to last ten years. It's a mini so it will have an end. When it does it will be the comic book fan equivalent of the Michael Jackson's funeral. It's sad to consider, but it's going to happen so we might as well enjoy it! Such high quality awesome doesn't come around regularly. So get in while you can! You never know when DC will get their shit together like this again! Nuff said!

Brightest Day #14 - Teasing Awesome

Whenever I get a new issue of Brightest Day, it's rarely a disappointment. Some books you just expect excellence in the same way you expect douche-bags to attend a Kanye West concert. For the past few months, Brightest Day has been doing for DC what Madonna did for bat-shit religious sects like the Karbala. It took a tried and trued product of awesome and made it even better and even a little sexier (most men would still nail Madonna even if they won't admit it). The last few issues have been inching the overall story closer to a ball-busting, brain splattering conclusion. Boston Brand is getting closer in his search for the guardian to the White Lantern. The Hawks are battling it out on Hawkworld. J'onn J'ozz is trying to resist being pussy whiped by the other last Green martian. Firestorm has to contain his Black Lantern counterpart from setting off another big bang. And somewhere along the way, Aquaman is coming between Black Manta and his illegitimate son.

That's a lot of shit to deal with in one series, even if it is biweekly. For the most part, Geoff Johns has managed it with the same mastery that Donald Trump masters shitty hair styles. So when the last issue ended with a hint that Batman would be showing up, he upped the ante to levels that would make even Trump's over-sized balls shrivel. Each issue is getting more focused, giving screen time to only one or two sub-plots. This come at the unfortunate price of leaving other plots dangling worse than Hugh Hefner's scrotum. However, Geoff Johns has made it a price worth paying. The last issue focused on the Hawks and only spent a few pages setting up the story for Boston Brand, which picks up in Brightest Day #14. Just like the last issue, it remains pretty focused and the promise of Batman showing up should cause a certain level of tingling in the brain, heart, and lower extremities of DC fanboys (if that tingling turns to burning, please consult a doctor immediately).

The issue starts of literally right after the last panel of the last issue. Boston Brand sees the bat signal and that proverbial light bulb flashes over his head. Like bat shit creation scientists, he assumes on the spot that this is the guy who will act as guardian to the White Lantern. It's not a bad choice. Anyone who has been following the Batman comics lately knows that he's been feeding worms for a while, but he eventually got bored and kicked the grim reaper in the balls. Now he's alive again and back to making criminals shit themselves again. That's all the convincing Boston needs to re-take his Deadman form (which may come as a surprise to some people because he hasn't really demonstrated he could still do that) and seeks him out.

He leaps through the city like an acrobat on crystal meth, Along the way he comes across a crime involving guys in snow gear without any snow. This is another somewhat random occurrence you don't usually see in a Geoff Johns comic. Seriously, he just happens to pass by these guys? One could argue that the ring is guiding him, but that isn't made clear. It's the most random Johns has been this entire series. It may not be jarring to those used to reading half-rate stories written by underpaid writers who can't come up with witty dialogue unless their blood alcohol is no lower than .04, but given this is a Geoff Johns comic it does come as a shock to the system.

It does help that the fight is nicely done even if it is on a small scale. This is the first time Boston has ever got to kick ass in his new non-corpse body. It's the strongest he's been to this point. For so much of this series he's just been pissing and moaning about how it sucks to be running errands for the White Lantern. This makes him slightly less sissy and it's always fun to see poorly dress criminals get their asses kicked.

Dead or alive, even Boston should have been able to figure out who was behind this half-hearted crime. Yet he still managed to allow Mr. Freeze to sneak up on him. While he may not be a sissy for being a decent hero again, he still qualifies as a dumb-ass for not using more than two neurons to work out some strategy. It does play to his advantage though because when Batman does show up, he takes down Mr. Freeze with no fewer than two moves. It shows just how far ahead of Boston that Batman is in the kicking-ass-after-being-dead department.

This ends the fight against Mr. Freeze. He basically takes a nap for the rest of the issue while Boston confronts Batman. Dove shows up as well, having just missed the fight and essentially playing the role of the obligatory hot chick that's supposed to accompany guys like Boston on their journey. All card carrying members of the National Organization for Women should direct their outrage to DC and not me. I'm just the messenger here. There's no elaborate setup here with the ring. Boston basically just tells basically that he's the ultimate champion for this ring and he wants to get this shit off his back. It's about as poetic as it sounds.

Batman questions his assumption as he's prone to thinking rationally, something very few people in comics or in real life tend to do. But Boston won't hear it. He uses the old flattery approach, basically saying that Batman is the most awesome human being in DC comics and is the only one worthy of this power. By comparison, he's like a Miss California trying to give a lecture on the big bang theory to Stephen Hawkings. He can't get the ring off his finger fast enough. He's like Larry King at a divorce hearing. And as soon as the ring reaches Batman, he becomes a White Lantern and looks 128372948292 times more badass.

Now this is what's been building for several issues now. Batman becoming a White Latern is more juicy than Jenna Jameson's pussy at a Chip'n Dales. Finally, the White Lantern has a guardian! Finally, the other plots surrounding Brightest Day can start coming together! And the ongoing stories involving Batman's return (which recently concluded) are given a novel twist. It's such an awesome premise. At least...it would be.

I'm sorry to report that this euphoria lasts about as long as Charlie Sheen's patience with a call-girl. While in his White Lantern getup, Batman basically becomes a mouth-piece for the white ring. What he says is very un-Batmanlike. He calls Boston out, telling him that he was chosen to guide the White Ring because when he was dead he had some backbone. He doesn't have it anymore it seems. He saw his task as a chore and when he chose Batman, he chose poorly. So that means Batman isn't the proper guardian, thereby aborting all those potential stories before they were born. The crazy pro-life crowd would be making pipe bombs if they read this. If that weren't enough, one of Mr. Freeze's goons rubs salt in the wound by coming back to life and shooting Boston. So it's basically a giant-sized screw-up.

So Boston goes down and as expected, his life flashes before his eyes...again. Remember, he did die at one point so he's walked this road before. There's a nice little shot of his childhood. An old memory of his teen years that showed how he started to become a bit of a douche-bag by essentially worrying more about a cheeseburger than a pretty girl sitting next to him. Unless that's the best damn cheeseburger on the planet, that's just mean. He then flashes forward to his full-fledged douche-bag persona in his adult years. This is when he was working in the circus as his old Deadman persona. He's not ordering burgers this time, but he's essentially the Kanye West of circus acts. All the while Boston's spirit has to watch this and ponder how he was so much nicer when he was dead. That's got to fuck with him.

Given this level of douche-baggery, it isn't completely disappointing to relieve the moment when he got shot (the first time that is). And in front of a live crowd no less. By whatever spiritual awakening happens here, Boston has a change of heart. Somehow seeing himself get killed (again) reminded him that being an asshole in life isn't a good thing. Since he's learning slower than Paris Hilton in a calculus class, he begs for a second chance. It's a little melodramatic and predictable, but it gets the point across.

Boston gets his second chance. He wakes back up in the alley with Batman. The White Ring heals the gunshot wound and knocks the shooter out for good measure. Now you know you've got a long way to go when a ring kicks more ass than you do. It also leaves Batman, showing that he's not the one Boston was looking for. The ring goes right back to him and gives him a few life lessons in the process. None are all that provocative, but the part about there being more to life than a good cheeseburger really speaks to the soul.

Not much else happens. Batman leaves. There's no hint or mention of the other plots with the Hawks, Aquaman, or Firestorm going on (never mind the fact he's got the resurrected Black Lanterns on his ass). The title of the next issue does mention the Martian Manhunter, but there's no solid transition or scene to speak of. Boston just throws in a nice kiss with Dove, which feels about as meaningful as a kiss between Courtney Love and Pamela Anderson (minus the porno and herpes context). It's a random way to end an issue for a series that has prided itself on not being so random. Even if Dove is very doable, she's not doable enough to justify such a bland gesture. It doesn't strike at the heart or the balls for anyone with an appreciation for comic book romance. To say they're no Clark and Lois would be an understatement so vast it could be used as a new euphemism for anal sex.

Brightest Day #14 is quite an anomaly. It's the first issue of the Brightest Day series to truly disappoint. It's probably the weakest feeling I've had reading this series so far. My mind isn't blown and my heart rate is still steady. It's like taking a bong hit only to realize you're smoking your mothers flowers instead of pot. The whole tease about Batman being the guardian that Boston was seeking had so much potential. In a ways I can see what Geoff Johns was trying to do here. He set up the expectations so that even the characters in the book felt they had found what they were looking for when in reality they hadn't completed their journey yet. It's very existential and it's not the way most comic writers would do a scene like this. They would go the easy way and try to use Batman more. Johns doesn't usually like to take the easy way, but this is one case where the easy way is more awesome.

The best way I could sum up my issue with this plot is that it was subtle for the sake of being subtle. It moved things forward by not moving them at all. That's not to say there wasn't anything good in this book. There was plenty. Batman showing up definitely adds to Brightest Day's repertoire of awesome.The easy flow from the previous issue from this issue worked very nicely as well. It was also nice to see how Boston Brand went through so many transitions from life to death to life again. The White Lantern also showed some personality here, strange as that may seem. It's trying to guide Boston, but it isn't always listening. It seems to have a mind of it's own and it's definitely got some character. If it had big tits it would already have it's own fan club. However, this is not enough to make up for the shortcomings in this story.

It pains me to say this, but Brightest Day #14 is a disappointment. The past 14 issues (including issue 0 for those of you who lost count already), this series has been masterfully crafted. Geoff Johns always delivered quality stories because he was a surgeon in his craft. He took care of the big things and the little things. In this he did take care of the big things in that he moved the story with the White Lantern forward. However, for once he negated the little things. He did not add in the details to make it work. The overall product is bland. It's not bland in the sense that Ben Stein's voice is bland or that juice you let sit next to a radiator for six weeks is bland (and potentially life-threatening). It's just bland.

In scoring this book I can't give it too low a score because it isn't terrible. It doesn't destroy the overall Brightest Day series. It certainly doesn't make me want to pick up the next issue any less, but it does end a streak of mind-blowing, heart bursting, scrotum swelling awesome. So for a final score, I give Brightest Day #14 a 3 out of 5. It's respectable, but for a Brightest Day comic it can do so much better. Geoff Johns is more than deserving of a mulligan here. If he blows me away with the next issue again, all will be forgiven. Nuff said!

Brightest Day #12 - Consistent Awesome

Things come and go all the time in comics. There are very few consistencies. Superman will save the day. Spider-Man will make a wise-crack. Deadpool will blow some shit up while breaking the 4th wall. But nobody is surprised at that shit. It's about as startling as Ricky Martin coming out of the closet, as Lindsey Lohan being arrested again, or as Sarah Palin revealing she never paid attention in high school. When something becomes consistent that you don't expect, now that's something to take notice of. That's like discovering the secret pass code to Michael Jackson's hidden stash of pills. Very few comics can ever remain consistently awesome over a long period of time, especially those that come after big events like Blackest Night. But someone at DC must have sold their soul to Satan because Brightest Day has become the exception that shits all over the rule.

The series has been awesome. Every book feels like it was crafted with the same care that Rush Limbaugh employs when he crafts his bullshit. It has been one of those rare series that encompasses so many characters and tells such an intriguing story that there's a little bit of everything. You get action, drama, aliens, dead people, sci fi, and hot naked chicks. You couldn't make it more awesome if you tattooed it onto the legs of a 12 high priced strippers. The last issue was somewhat sub-par, but that's like saying a a Playboy centerfold has a small mark on her left butt-cheek. It doesn't take away from the appeal and enjoyment of the whole package. And since this series is biweekly, it doesn't take long for Brightest Day to get another chance.

The past few issues have been a lot more focused with respect to the many stories that Brightest Day balances. Aquaman and Firestorm took center stage with their stories dominating the pages of the book. Their story like that of so many others is tied to the White Lanterns and so far that has been established as the binding force that draws every one of these characters together. The last issue ended with Firestorm giving rise to Deathstorm, who brought back a team of resurrected Black Lanterns. Aquaman's story has him searching for the guardian of the White Lanturn. This search is leading him back into the story of the Martian Manhunter, who a few issues back went on his own search for the last Green Martian. If you're a little confused, that's okay. That's just your brain telling you that appreciating a certain level of awesome requires the activation of more brain cells than you may be comfortable with.

J'onn J'ozz gets things going in this arc. He returned to Mars the last time he showed up, only a few issues back mind you. There he meets the Green Martian that he's looking for. While I'm not an expert on Martian culture, I'm pretty certain that this one has psycho bitch side to her. She wants to both kill J'onn and fuck him, all while sounding more wacked out of her mind than Charlie Sheen on crystal meth.

J'onn finds out the hard way that this bitch has been a left a bit off-key from being alone for so long. It's sort of like locking Michael Bay in a windowless room and feeding him only shrooms and water laced with DMT. So it's hard to really blame her (aside from her being completely fucking crazy) when she tries to seduce if that's the right word the first Green Martian she's come across in decades. Not only that, she seems to believe that his connection to the White Lantern will bring Mars back to life. It leads to a sort of twisted infatuation that probably doesn't qualify as love except for maybe in Ancient Greece, Ancient India, Soviet Russia, and Texas. But it does have that underlying Adam and Eve theme too it, except in this Eve was made by Satan while strung out on a three-day cocaine bender.

This Martian wants J'onn to bring Mars back to life and maybe get a cheap hate-fuck out of him in the process. They wrestle in ways that may qualify as Martian porn. It's not clear who is winning, but it does seem that J'onn gets the upper hand. Then it gets stranger, as if a battle between two Martians with one of them being more unbalanced than Van Goh without his meds. Out of nowhere the Justice League shows up and attacks J'onn because he's supposedly trying to terraform Mars at the expense of Earth. Now if this were true it would give a reason for J'onn to be subdued just a little, but the Justice League appearing out of nowhere comes off as one of those contrived elements that only seem to appear in lesser comics where writers pull 99 percent of the material out of the recesses of their colon. But this is Brightest Day. It's a book that earns the benefit of the doubt and it's not something that means eyes should start rolling just yet.

There's already a sign that this fight is a result of J'onn eating too many Martian shrooms because Firestorm, who appeared in the sudden assault, is already engrossed in his own battle. In the last issue, the Black Lanterns made a comeback with the Black Lanter Firestorm (now going by the must more badass sounding name, Deathstorm) leading the charge. Ronnie and Jason (the non-badass Firestorm) still haven't stopped arguing despite Professor Stein warning them that it could cause another Big Bang. They're pretty much flying around with two thumbs up their ass trying to figure out what they're going to do. Then the Black Lanterns beat them to it, saying they need to find the White Lantern. It's not clear where this idea comes from, but they make a very fashionable escape and the previously mentioned thumbs are now even deeper in Ronnie and Jason's ass.

We finally get another glimpse of Boston Brand again, who hasn't shown up for a few books. His last appearance had him actually picking up the White Lantern and trying to use it to get some answers. It led him to cross paths with Aquaman. Now he's trying to find everyone who crossed paths with the White Lantern. He also has a hot chick helping him, so that's a plus. Although it also seems that he's sensing what the Black Lanterns are doing so that's probably going to kill the mood faster than an incontinent stripper with a spastic colon.

While the Black and White Lanterns are on the mood, J'onn is still in the middle of his psuedo-battle with the Justice League. They try to basically bury him, but at this point he figures out that the whole thing isn't real. It's not too surprising. It would make a lot less sense if the Justice League actually had shown up to contain J'onn, even if it may have been more awesome. Once again, a psycho bitch proves to be even more disorienting than a shot of tequila laced with paint thinner. At this point J'onn finally pushes back. He fights off the other Green Martian and finally flashes a little White Lantern bling, which he seems to believe will resurrect Mars. It's also a bit disorienting because wasn't this the same shit that psycho chick warned him about? And he's going through with it? It almost feels like that part of Inception when you're not sure if the dream was just a dream or if the dream is just meant to look like a dream. Fuck, now I'm confused too!

Confusing or not, there's no denying that J'onn looks pretty bad ass using his White Lantern power. What's even more disturbing yet uplifting is that he sort of succeeds. The same White Lantern powers that brought him back to life have now brought his planet back to life. So in this case the psycho bitch was right. Somehow that doesn't seem to bother J'onn, but it still makes for a pretty neat montage.

So it seems that J'onn has finally succeeded. He has his home back. Could this be the rare and beautiful thing that comic book fans so rarely see? That strange old thing called a happy ending? Most aren't familiar with that term outside an Asian massage parlor. Yet here, everything seems right. J'onn used the White Lantern power to resurrect Mars. That's a happy ending, isn't it? One without the mess you have to clean up with kleenexes and baby wipes. Well seeing as how this is Brightest Day we're talking about, it's not that easy.

Remember that psycho bitch? Well it turns out she may have won this fight after all because after a tearful reunion with his wife and children, it seems as though J'onn has been basically tricked by the earlier psycho bitch. He basically stops fighting her and starts loving her. It's disturbing and grotesque, but like a donkey show in Tijuana you can't look away. It basically means J'onn is now pussy whipped and mind-fucked, which if he's connected to the White Lantern is going to seriously fuck shit up with Firestorm and Boston Brand. It's a nice setup at the end and one that fully respects the tradition of awesome that Brightest Day has established.

So the story moves forward, now with a psycho bitch in charge. It's yet another element that makes Brightest Day awesome. This issue was a lot easier to follow than the previous issue. While it was a little disorienting at some points with the whole Justice League showing up to fight J'onn, it all made sense at the end and didn't try to be too mind-blowing. Not every story can have a Matrix feel to it and Geoff Johns didn't overshoot. It moved J'onn's story forward while also moving the story of the White Lanterns forward. You really can't ask for much more of a book.

Now some elements were lost in the details. What happened with Aquaman wasn't clear and the whole struggle with Firestorm and Deathstorm was somewhat underdeveloped. There really wasn't much hint of what was guiding these guys and why they were doing what they were doing. It's clear this is J'onn's story, but how it ties into the other stories isn't as well-crafted as it could have been. At least some connections were made. The White Lantern remains at the center of it all so there is that binding force with each story. Even if they aren't fully developed, they still make plenty of sense.

Going back to my points about consistency, Brightest Day continues to show that it can deliver the goods issue after issue. It's like a quality hooker that never charges extra for the same great service. You can't ask for much more in a book like this. It's a compelling story with compelling characters and compelling twists. Plus it has a psycho bitch now! That seals the deal for this book. Brightest Day #12 gets a 5 out of 5, another perfect score to add to it's trophy case. I know it has many, but like Tiger Woods this series is never satisfied. Only in this case, everyone can share in the orgasmic awesome! Nuff said.