New X-men Supreme Artwork - Issue 22: Family and Fiends Part 1

Happy Labor Day from the world of X-men Supreme! I hope everybody is enjoying their holiday. I'm still hard at work on the new issue for the X-men Supreme fanfiction series. The next issue in the Overlord saga is still scheduled for release later this week. In the meantime I have a very special update to make. I received another wonderful commission from Brian Brinlee. I know I always make a big deal of this, but I feel his work is one of the best parts of the pics section on this website. Today, he began his commissions on X-men Supreme Volume 2: War Powers. It started with the first issue, Issue 22: Family and Fiends Part 1. It's a great piece with a great sense of scenery. I think it is one of his best yet! I know I say that a lot, but I'll let the piece speak for itself. You can see it in the pics section.

X-men Supreme Official Panels

As always, I deeply appreciate Brian Brinlee taking the time to do commissions for this website. Please don't forget that the X-men Supreme fanfiction series is always open to submitted artwork. If there's a way to enhance the overall awesome of X-men Supreme, I'm more than willing to listen! Please contact me if you're interested in doing something for this website. I'll be happy to post it and praise it for all to see!
Also, I strongly encourage others to review each issue of X-men Supreme. The more feedback I get, the better I can make this fanfiction series! Some like my good friend rekkanoryo are very generous at taking the time to review. I hope others do so as this fanfiction series continues to unfold. Either post it in each issue or send it to me directly. Either is fine. Until next time, take care and best wishes! Excelsior!

 
Jack

Justice League #1 - Rebooting Awesome

There comes a time in every drunk's life when he wakes up from a black out, his pants are around his ankles, there's some ugly tranny hooker in his bed, and there's some greenish brown stain on his shirt with a smell that can't quite be identified. Now aside from needing another dose of antibiotics for my ass (again), that new clarity is a refreshing feeling. That is after I finish puking. It's a clarity I liken to a reboot. It's not clean. It's not pleasant. It can get pretty damn ugly at times and you end up with scabs on your ass that take months to heal. But you know what? It can be worth it.

I've been talking about the DC reboot with my typical drunken ramblings for some time now. I've had mixed feelings about it, but unlike my failed AA meetings I've vowed to give this a chance. I haven't been an ardent follower of DC comics for a long time. In fact, it wasn't until Blackest Night that I started getting interested again. But even then, the DCU was harder to follow than the plot of the last two Matrix movies and that was without Keanu Reeves's shitty acting. There were gems like Superman, Brightest Day, and Batman Beyond. However, those gems were mixed with mixed with a lot of other clutter that could be a great subject for another episode of hoarders.

Enter Flashpoint. This is DC betting the house, their underwear, and their grandmother's pension on a complete revamp of all their books. This isn't your typical aftermath shit that every event has done since the original Crisis back in the 80s. This a new ball game with a new umpire, a new set of rules, and a whole new arsenal of dicks to fuck with readers. But at the same time it's new, it's fresh, it's different, and it's modernized. How it happened is fucked up. Basically, Flash pulled something that was only slightly lamer than the fucking continuity punch by Superboy. He merged with the speed force and kind of shattered history. And by kinda I mean he fucking date raped it so now we're starting over from square one. I could go on any number of rants about how that was handled, but I would need more booze than a Led Zeppline tour bus. So I'll spare my liver the torment and skip right to the relaunch.

It begins with Justice League #1. This is the book where it starts. It has Geoff Johns and Jim Lee at the helm, which is the equivalent of putting Shakespeare and Michelangelo on the same project. It's as all in you can be with your pants still on. We begin with a new world that really doesn't know superheroes. It's stated outright in the first few words that the events of this arc take place 5 years in the past. So this is how the Justice League came together. It's basically like Batman Begins without having to go through Batman and Robin. Fittingly enough, it involves Batman getting shot at. Remember, no Justice League so when a guy in a cape is running through a city like Gotham the standard protocol for the police is to shoot first and make excuses later. So they're basically the modern day DEA.

Now Batman isn't just outrunning the helicopters for the exercise, although knowing him he probably could. The reason for the bullet shower is a mysterious monster in a cloak that looks like a hooker that just left Charlie Sheen's house. Batman caught him stirring up shit in his city and that's all you need to get on Batman's shit list. So despite a helicopter shooting at him, he still chases the creature. If I was the creature, I'd be shitting my pants. There's some great action moments here. Jim Lee's art really shines and it's a very detailed, very vivid scene. It's like walking in on a cat fight with two hot women already having stripped each other down to their underwear. It's a beautiful thing.

This rooftop chase gets ugly quickly as shit starts going boom. The creature, not unlike a drunk Mel Gibson, gets pretty volatile and is ready to go on an anti-Semitic rant that would earn him a marriage proposal from Iran. It's not the kind of shit that Batman deals with. Then he gets help in the form of a glowing green fire truck. No he doesn't ingest a shitload of magic mushrooms. Everybody knows you only see yellow fire trucks on those. These come courtesy of the Green Lantern. Apparently, a rooftop brawl with a monster looking ready to explode is hard to ignore. So he deals with it in a way only slightly less subtle than waving your dick in the face of the President.

Now despite having his ass saved, Batman is pretty pissed. He doesn't much care for Green Lantern's approach of using giant glowing green projections and not because it's more tacky than a light show at Disney World. Remember those helicopters that were chasing him earlier? Well when they see glowing green shit, they have even more reason to shoot and probably quit drinking. Green Lantern, being the self-confident son-of-a-bitch he is at this point, doesn't break a sweat in blocking their attack. But Batman is still pissed. Then again, he's pissed most of the time anyways so I don't see why it matters.

This scene also highlights an important element of the story. Batman and Green Lantern operate on completely different wavelengths. Batman works within the shadows using stealth and cunning. Green Lantern dresses like a walking traffic signal that can be seen from space. One uses wits. The other uses firepower and smugness. In other words, they're not superfriends. They're heroes, but they get on each others' nerves. In other words, welcome to the new DC people! Where superheroes annoy each other and somehow make it look awesome!

Now annoying each other has another effect. Remember that monster that Batman was facing? Well they apparently weren't annoying it enough because it got up from Green Lantern's little firetruck stunt. Then it turned it's sights on the helicopters, which in the monster's defense were still shooting. So it does what any monster would logically do. It shoots back and the helicopters really don't stand a chance. This being DC, Green Lantern doesn't let them become street pizza. He and Batman stop annoying each other and decide to go after the creature.

As they go after it, they have a more formal introduction. And by formal I mean they look at one another the same way they would look at a hobo beating off in the middle of a street. Batman is clearly trying not to scoff when Green Lantern tells him he's a space cop and that the creature he was chasing was part of an extraterrestrial incursion. Batman doesn't give a damn about that. The creature was still in his city so ET can go screw himself. If that weren't annoying enough, Green Lantern finds it hard to believe that Batman has no superpowers. He's just a guy in a costume. It's a great moment and one of the most memorable of the issue.

Now this is somewhat taboo in DC, pointing out that Batman has no powers. It's like being in an all-girls school, but you know that one girl that is clearly a boy that nobody talks about. It's just easier to ignore it and pretend it isn't an issue. It's a subtle yet fitting way to show that this is a true relaunch. This kind of shit won't be ignored this time and why not? It's the 21st century. We're not as politically correct as we used to be. Thanks a lot Fox News!

Again, the bickering seems to distract that they're chasing an alien. Using the same gags twice in one issue? That's enough to make it seem old already. But again, they drop the macho shit and go after the creature. Again, shit starts blowing up. This time it does so with a message. That message reveals who the big bad guy is that brought the Justice League together in the first place. It's Darkseid. To them, it's sounds like a bad punk band from New Jersey. To DC Comics, it's the heavyweight of bad guys. If you're going to come out with a big opening story, why not bring a juiced up Barry Bonds to the plate? DC wants to swing for the fences, substance abuse regulations be damned!

More reused gimmicks enter the picture. Seriously, it's like they're copying and pasting. Green Lantern's ring saves them again by shielding them from the blast. The creature is gone, but some creepy alien gizmo is left behind. Batman and Green Lantern look at it the same way kids today look at a Walkman made in the 80s. They determine that it's an alien computer. They immediately link it with the only other alien that is well known to them, which happens to be Superman. To DC fans it sounds stupid, connecting an alien monster to Mr. Truth, Justice, and Sarah Palin's masturbatory fantasies. But again, this is a new DC. They don't know each other and they don't know Superman. For all they know Superman is a threat. So instead of going after Darkseid, they go after Superman. It's about as efficient as it sounds.

As they being their search for Superman, we're introduced to a Vic Stone. For all you non DC folk, that's Cyborg but since this is 5 years ago he's not a Cyborg. He's just your typical star high school athlete that's so good and so popular that he has USC and Ohio State throwing illegal benefits at him and cheerleaders throwing pussy at him in all directions. It's a bit unnecessary. It comes off as filler. It seems like a lousy way to introduce a character, but there is some effort to tie Vic into the story. His dad appears to work with superhero folk or at least guys with too much power for the government to tax. But still, it comes off as filler.

Now this scene does make the book drag somewhat. This being Justice League, there isn't that large scale that you would expect of a book like this. Even though it's an introduction arc, it feels like Geoff Johns and Jim Lee are taking their sweet time getting to the juicy bits. I'm glad they're being detailed and all, but for fans too ADD to appreciate those details it may feel like it's dragging ab it.

After Vic is done being distracted from being a star athlete with all the poon he could ever want, Green Lantern and Superman arrive in Metropolis aboard Green Lantern's glowing green jet. No, it's not an acid trip. That's actually how he travels. It's like riding in a pink pinto with a flashing billboard of Natlie Portman riding a bull naked on the back. It's the kind of shit that attracts attention and Batman reminds him (again) that it's a bad idea. But Green Lantern keeps playing the part of arrogant asshole and he plays it well, most likely a secret homage to Ryan Reynolds. And like Ryan Reynolds, readers want to punch him in the balls at this point.

Unfortunately for them, he's beaten to it by a familiar face. That would be Superman who with all his powers is more than capable of noticing a big ass green jet flying over his city. Now will Green Lantern admit that Batman was right? Probably not, but he has to stop shitting himself first because Superman has shown up and he makes sure Green Lantern's balls are sufficiently shriveled before he's an asshole again. It's a great moment and a great scene with Superman showing the kind of poise and ballisness that makes him history's most recognizable superhero.

Say what you will about all the shit between the beginning and the end. This whole comic is worth picking up just for that final page. These guys aren't the Superfriends yet. They don't know that they need to work together to stop an asshole like Darkseid yet. They're like a bunch of free agent athletes with over-bloated egos that were brought in on one team and can't get along. In other words they're like the Philadelphia Eagles and the Dallas Cowboys combined. You don't know how they're going to come together in the end. You just know that it's going to make for some awesome moments.

There's a lot to hope for in terms of the future for this comic. However, focusing on the present, the hype surrounding this book was just impossible to live up to. Geoff Johns and Jim Lee did something smart. They didn't rush the story. They didn't try to squeeze every character into one issue. They started by establishing the comic and introducing a few characters. These characters just happen to be very different from one another and get along about as well as Michelle Bachmann gets along with gay voters. It makes for a great exchange, but it doesn't make for an overall great story. It seems long-winded and tedious. Now it's great how they're taking it slow, but when a comic like this is overhyped it just comes off as underwhelming. I get it. It's hard NOT to make a big deal out of a comic like this, but setting the bar that high does cause problems that even the brilliance of Geoff Johns and Jim Lee can't solve.

This is still a worthy comic to relaunch a series. It could have been better, but it could have been a lot worse. It works. It leaves readers with the feeling that the best is just ahead. It succeeds in making the reader want to pick up the next issue, which for DC is really all they want. They got kids to feed and hookers to fuck. They need our money and with books like this, I'm more than happy to give it to them! That's why I give Justice League #1 a 4 out of 5. There's room for improvement and I'm confident that Johns and Lee can become the new Burt and Ernie of DC comics minus the gay innuendos. Nuff said!

Uncanny X-Force #14 - Arcangelic Awesome

How's this for a week in comic books? On the same day DC is turning themselves inside out from the asshole to the eye-socket, Marvel releases the second issue in a week of Uncanny X-Force. That's like banging Pamela Anderson one night and Carmen Electra the next. The whole comic world has their panties riding up their ass crack over DC's new material, but no matter how much noise they make the awesome of a series like Uncanny X-Force always finds a way through. It's a law of physics that I'm sure Stephen Hawkings would prove if he wasn't busy making computerized voices so awesome. No matter how much bullshit is swirling within the shit storm of the comic book world, an awesome series will find a way through and still smell like roses from Martha Stewart's garden.

Last week, Uncanny X-Force unleashed one of it's best issues yet. It had everything you could possibly want in a comic. It had action, drama, romance, heartbreak, gratuitous violence, death, and fake French accents. Short of wrapping it in bacon slapping a pair of tits on it, you couldn't ask for more. X-Force continued their search in the Age of Apocalypse for the life seed that would stop Arcangel from taking on Apocalypse's mantle. In the process they met up with AOA Wolverine, who had taken on Apocalypse's role in his world. He proved that doing so made him a complete asshole, so much so that AOA Jean Grey (you know, that redheaded green-eyed woman that Marvel loves to use as a gimmick every chance they get?) tried to kill him. It turned into an epic battle against Wolverine/Apocalypse that ended with AOA Jean sending X-Force back to their world with the life seed. Wolverine was understandably pissed, seeing as how in 616 he's dedicated much of his existence to tapping Jean Grey's ass. Now he's back in his own world and guess what? Finding the life seed didn't do jack shit because Arcangel is already Apocalypse and he was there waiting for them when they arrived.

Say what you will about crossovers in comics. Yes, they are gimmicks. But there's a fine line between a gimmick and a legitimate story. Rick Remender could have tattooed ads on his ass proclaiming that this was a crossover for the ages. It's X-men and Age of Apocalypse. It practically writes itself! Well until machines become smart enough to write our comics for us, these things don't write themselves and way too many writers act like they do. Thankfully, Rick Remender wasn't one of them. This story that has spanned and alternate universe still feels like it's progression logically, or at least as logical as a story involving guys with metal wings and women who wear purple thong uniforms in public. That in and of itself is a remarkable feat, but the story isn't over yet! Now that the team is back from the Age of Apocalypse, their battle takes a new twist.

Now to keep the story smooth, Remender does something that's usually annoying as hell for some stories. He does a flashback to show how that final page on Uncanny X-Force #13 came together. What the fuck happened with Arcangel? Did he just have all his horsemen goons on speed-dial, tell them to meet at X-Force's base, and promise there would be hookers and booze to ensure they would show up? That would probably work, but no. There's more to it. Remember, Dark Beast basically left X-Force hanging. When he came back to 616 he didn't just hit a strip joint and go on a bender. He met up with Arcangel, who has since become the new Apocalypse. With him they return to one of Apocalypse's many bases. Because when you're that powerful you can buy up property like Donald Trump. The sad part is he probably still gets a great tax write off for it. Thanks Bush Tax Cuts! You're helping Apocalypse!

Arcangel returns with all sorts of mindless minions waiting for him. In a sense he's like Steve Jobs, the brains behind the operation with countless blindly loyal devotees. But what's interesting here is Arcangel tries to set himself apart from Apocalypse. He doesn't demand the same blind praise. He doesn't care for the whole ritual shit that comes with being a mutant god. It sounds like fake humility and he still comes off as a douche-bag, but it's an important moment because it establishes that Arcangel isn't just a vessel for Apocalypse. He's something else entirely that now wields the power that Apocalypse once wielded. It would have been a lot easier to just make Arcangel a new Apocalypse 2.0, but that would have been boring as fuck so I applaud Rick Remender for showing a little creativity.

But he didn't just drop by his new crib to enjoy the bitches and the fine dining that comes with being the new Apocalypse. He comes to retrieve one of his many overly powerful weapons. He has the four horsemen that were revealed in the first arc of Uncanny X-Force. Now he has someone else to add to the mix. He looks like the cover of an 80s metal album. He's Genocide, the kind of villain that neo-Nazi's jerk off to. And he's the kind of guy that would make even the tougher superheroes at least partially shit their pants.

The flashback ends. We get right back to the present and move this shit along. Remember, Arcangel was there waiting for X-Force to return with the life seed. Since Celestial technology is like Warren Buffet's credit card in Marvel, he kind of wants it badly. X-Force isn't inclined to give it up, but they're a bit reluctant to attack the guy they went to a post-apocalyptic AU to save. They still end up attacking him when he proves that he's lost his fucking mind and blew the rest of it out with a shotgun, but Arcangel is about as relaxed as Bill Gates in a Wal Mart. Remember Genocide? His newest toy? Well he wastes no time in putting him to good use. By good use I mean he fucking burns half of Wolverine's body off. Seriously. Where else other than Uncanny X-Force can you see shit like that?

This time there's no Fantomex misdirection either. Remender has already used that trick to death. So there's no hiding when the rest of the horsemen attack. Famine moves in and takes out Deadpool and Fantomex. It's a nice moment for Deadpool to make a few quips about Kate Moss. Even gratuitous violence needs a little off-beat humor here and there. Not content with just making them feel like the Olson twins in an anorexia relapse, Arcangel proceeds to beat the shit out of Fantomex. Not only did this guy try to bone his girlfriend, but he also has the life seed. In other words, he really has no problem with making the guy suffer.

This leaves only Psylocke to take on her boyfriend. Fittingly enough, she actually kicks more ass than any woman with an ass like her should be able to kick. Obviously pissed that her boyfriend is now Apocalypse's meat puppet, she vents her frustration on some of Arcangel's horsemen. She takes down Wrath and Dark Beast with the same ease as the Afghan air force. Then to show her boyfriend that she's not pleased with his choice in career, she fucking stabs him with one of her swords. That's right. The wrath of a pissed off girlfriend is enough to wound fucking Apocalypse. If you're a man and your balls shrivel up upon reading this, don't worry. That just means you're normal. And most likely straight.

Now this is more than just Psylocke being awesome, which always makes for a great plot. Keep in mind, she was helping Warren deal with his Arcangel persona at the very beginning of this series. This plot didn't come from the ass of some random writer. Remender actually uses elements from older stories to tie into newer stories. That adds some much needed progression and salience to the story. That way when Psylocke fights Arcangel, it has a much greater impact because this is what she worked so hard to avoid. It's not unlike the emotional strain with Wolverine in the last issue over AOA Jean Grey. It worked wonderfully there and it works wonderfully here.

But for all her badassery, Psylocke's attack doesn't stop Arcangel from getting the life seed. He still wrestles it away from Fantomex and again, there's none of that misdirection bullshit. With Arcangel fucking them up that badly, the only reasonable option at this point is to get their sorry asses out of there. So with the help of a good old fashioned smoke grenade, X-Force makes a break for it. Even Deathlok joins the show (remember, he was crashing at X-Force's base and probably using their computers to download Japanese cybernetic porn, which is a growing market in the Marvel Universe I imagine). However, before they leave, Psylocke jumps out and stays behind. Again, she's not the kind of hot chick that leaves her man behind when he's gone into a tyrannical rage. The feminazis of the world will hate that, but then again they lost their credibility when they lobbied to have the word dictionary changed to pussycionary.

Even though Psylocke beat the shit out of the other horsemen, Arcangel orders that Psylocke isn't harmed. So yeah, her pussy is powerful enough to placate an Arcangel/Apocalypse. That kind of power is right up there with Cyclops's penis, which turned Emma Frost from a villain to the X-men's official barbie doll. Arcangel takes Psylocke with him back to his base while X-Force licks their wounds and presumably tries not to throw up while Wolverine is healing. Here, Arcangel gives her a similar speech that AOA Wolverine gave in the previous issue. He's evolved to some higher purpose or shit like that. But in this world, he explains that evolution was stunted thanks to Wanda Maximoff PMSing during House of M. In order to kick start it again, he has to reset it. Psylocke still doesn't like what that entails, but even her pussy has it's limits.

Again, this is a great moment because it shows that this isn't just Apocalypse acting through Arcangel. This is Arcangel doing his own thing. He has Apocalypse's mindset, but he chooses to go about it differently. It really helps set him apart as an entirely new badass. For a pampered rich man, that's saying something. It hurts Psylocke, but that only adds to the drama. Between this in the gratuitous violence it's enough to make you cry and throw up at the same time. It's a beautiful achievement! It's nothing a little bleach doesn't clean.

So Arcangel is unconvinced by Psylocke or her pussy. So she basically is imprisoned in Arcangel's base while he takes Genocide out to begin this new plan of his. For some reason, it involves showing up in some small town in the middle of nowhere. It's basically the kind of place where you would expect to find no fewer than three meth labs. The locals are understandably confused by their present. There's even this little boy who probably just stopped shitting his own pants a few years ago and asked if he was a superhero of sorts. Arcangel doesn't really answer. He just tells him to go to his mother and say he loves her. It sounds so sweet, but what he does next turns it into a dick move.

Without any boasting or taunting, he has Genocide blow up the whole freakin' town. There's no subtlety. There's no secrecy. He just blows up the whole fucking thing. Now how is this supposed to reset evolution? Well, Apocalypse has never been known for being all that efficient with his plans. So it makes sense that Arcangel wouldn't be that efficient either. It's like John Hinkley. He reasoned that if he killed the president, Jodie Foster would fall in love with him. It makes no sense, but it's sure to make the papers! It's a moment that puts X-Force in an uncomfortable position. Because being a secret black ops, it's pretty tough to keep that secret when a whole fucking town blows up. It shows just what Arcangel is capable of and what they'll have to overcome in the next issue. I'll be in crack withdraw waiting, but it's usually worth it!

It's a beautiful "Oh shit!" moment. Those are great moments with which to end a comic. This isn't some shadowy plot that X-Force solves under the radar. This is on the kind of scale that a black ops group would typically go out of their way to avoid unless they wanted Fox News jamming cameras up their asses like they were Michael Moore's personal personal business. Arcangel has become the new Apocalypse, but he's still Arcangel. He's not just Angel in Apocalypse's clothing. That offers a unique distinction, one that adds a compelling element to a book filled with explosive awesome. In many ways this whole issue was Arcangel setting himself up as a new kind of Apocalypse. If that was the goal I'd say it was accomplished with a cherry on top!

There were many similar elements with this issue that the previous issue did so well. It had the same dramatic elements to compliment the violence that led to Wolverine's body being partially blown off in graphic detail. However, some readers will be left wanting because there was no mention of what happened in the Age of Apocalypse universe. We see Jean Grey confronting Wolverocalypse and that's it? We don't see anything else? Granted, that's not X-Force's major concern anymore, but that feels like a story we would like to have resolved. Does Jean Grey save her Wolverine? Is her pussy really that powerful? Sadly, those questions go unanswered and unhinted at. But the story with Arcangel continues to go forward and like Wolverine and Jean in AOA, Psylocke is trying to reach the man she loves before he becomes too entrenched in Apocalypse's douche-baggery.

Never-the-less, I can't bitch about a story that wasn't told. Considering only the story within the pages of this book, I can safely say that it's awesome. It continues the Dark Angel Saga in a powerful, satisfying manner. We finally see the descent of Arcangel into this Apocalyptic power. The action, the drama, the dialog, and the art all work together in perfect harmony. It's Uncanny X-Force at it's best! That's why I give Uncanny X-Force #14 a perfect 5 out of 5. The Dark Angel Saga kicking every kind of ass you could ever want. Even with Schism and Fear Itself going on, this comic finds a way to be awesome in it's own right. That in many ways only supplements the awesome that's already there. Nuff said!

X-men Supreme Issue 41: Overlord Part 4 PREVIEW

We're past the halfway point for the biggest event yet in the X-men Supreme fanfiction series. Everything is shaping up for a big finish. I'm not exaggerating when I say that this event will shape the course of all future stories for X-men Supreme. Just like a real Marvel event, there will be an aftermath and there will be stories that stem from that aftermath. I'm very excited to see it come together and I've been honored by all the support I've received from my wonderful readers. I hope that support continues as X-men Supreme continues to evolve into it's own world. The next few issues of this fanfiction series are vital and as such I've prepared an extended preview.

While the Brotherhood was catching their breath, Magneto was still going strong. Just he, Forge, and Exodus were working on the machine now. The master of magnetism was stoic, but there was still anticipation brimming from his demeanor. Every second they drew closer to completing this machine, it was a second closer to the new age he promised his mutant brethren. Being imprisoned and humiliated by humanity left him angry and resolute. He was willing to show mercy last time with the uprising, restricting his targets only to the corrupt human governments. Now all of humanity was going to pay for their crimes against homo superior.

This anger may have been silent, but Professor Charles Xavier sensed it even without his telepathy. Still bound with Hank near the back of the throne room, he watched anxiously as his old friend slipped further into madness. Over the years he saw Erik lose himself in his hatred many times before. This was by far the worst. His feelings towards humanity were strong, but he refused to believe the man behind those emotions would go so far.

“You can’t keep ignoring me, Erik. I will not stay silent while I watch you do this,” said Charles.

”Don’t waste your breath, old friend. There’s nothing left to say,” said Magneto stoically as he used his powers to set the amplifiers in place.

“I refuse to believe that. You’re still the same man who once believed in giving people a chance. Don’t act as if you’ve forgotten because I know you haven’t,” said Xavier strongly, “For years we were a team, using our powers for good to save innocent lives.”

“Innocent?” scoffed Magneto, “Mankind has no innocence. It took me years to realize that. You and your X-men are still deluded into thinking otherwise.”

“That’s anger and bitterness talking. I refuse to believe the man behind those emotions would believe in such madness. Have you forgotten the good you’ve seen in humanity? Have you forgotten those like your wife, Magda, who…”

But as soon as Xavier said that name, Magneto turned to his old friend in a rage and used his powers to choke him mercilessly with the metal shackles.

“Don’t you EVER utter that name, Charles!” he yelled, “Or so help me I will end you!”

“Charles!” exclaimed Hank, “Magneto, stop this!”

“No!” spat the master of magnetism, “Nobody is to ever mention my wife! Ever! I will not let you use her to try and distract me!”

“I’m not…using her!” coughed Xavier, “You need…to remember!”


As X-men Supreme continues to unfold and diversify, the feedback I get becomes all the more vital. I know I say that a lot, but I mean every word of it! I love getting feedback, constructive or otherwise from my readers. It helps me become a better writer and it ensures that the X-men Supreme fanfiction series continues to improve. So if you're following this series, please take some time to review each issue in the review section or contact me at any time and I'll be happy to talk X-men with you. In the meantime, I'll continue updating other sections of the site. I know it's been a while since I updated the bios section, but I plan on creating new entires once the Overlord arc is over. I also hope to update the pics section soon. Stay tuned for more updates. Until next time, take care and best wishes! Excelsior!

Jack

Brightest Day Aftermath #3 - A Legacy of Awesome

Twas the night before the DC relaunch and all the crack house, not a creature was stirring except strung out comic fan with half a bottle of whiskey and worn out crack pipe. There are only so many drugs in the world that can make you forget that DC Comics is about to undergo the biggest shift since Power Girl's boobs. If there are such drugs I've yet to take enough of them. It's hard to contemplate what will come of DC and comics and general as the new 52 hits the shelves. Some are already eager to leave the old DCU behind. But before this amazing world is relegated to the quarter bin of history, there is one series that I must complete before I'm too hung over to give a proper send off.

Brightest Day has been one of DC's shining gems. I reviewed every issue and at the end of each review I had a six-foot boner with fresh joint on the end of it. Reviewing Brightest Day Aftermath: The Search for Swamp thing has been different. It hasn't been on the same scale or scope as Brightest Day. Like cheap blow from Brazil, it offers only a mild rush. That's not to say it's worth ignoring. There is a story to be told here. John Constantine is back in the DC universe, stinking it up with his cigarette smoke and snooty British accent. He's off to resolve a little issue regarding Swamp Thing and his alter ego, Alec Holland. It hasn't been on nearly the same level as the original Brightest Day. The last issue was a bit of a let-down. But with one issue left, I feel obligated to cap off my Brightest Day review log. Then I can dive head first with only mild brain damage into the new DCU.

In the last issue of Brightest Day Aftermath, Constantine enlisted help from Superman to track down Alec Holland. In between cartons of cigarettes, it was revealed that Swamp Thing and Alec Holland weren't exactly in sync and that was dangerous on new fewer than 28402948502982 different levels. Why is this? Well Swamp Thing currently thinks Alec Holland is driving it. And if it finds out that's not the case, well that tends to fuck up an overly powerful monster. A monster that needs a human driver and for some reason John Constantine is at the top of the list. Now anyone who knows John Constantine from the comics knows putting him in the driver's seat of a monster like Swamp Thing is like making Robert Downy Jr. the head of a Bankok pharmacy. Nothing good can come of it and if that weren't enough, Lexcorp has somehow found Alec Holland and is fucking with him in a way that only Lex Luthor can. So that leaves John Constantine relying on DC's finest to put a stop to it.

First, Constantine had to find Holland and the Lexcorp assholes that took a break from blowing the head of Goldman Sachs to fuck up the world. For this, he got help from Madame Xanadu. Aside from staring at her cleavage, she helped Constantine go on a spirit quest that didn't involve ingesting a fuckton of magic mushrooms. Here he gets help from our old Brightest Day pal Deadman, who at the end of Brightest Day ended up dead...again. But he still is nice enough to lend a hand. He's the one that informed Constantine that Alec Holland isn't playing poker with Einstein, Jimmy Hendrix, and Jesus in the afterlife. He's alive, well, and running with a rough crowd in Lexcorp's many secret labs. Seriously, with all the labs Lexcorp has to fuck with people you would think BP would have bought them out by now.

Back in the swamp we revisit Alec Holland and his Lexcorpt captors. The masked Lexcorp scientist, who looks like Dick Cheney fucked him up after getting fired from Halliburton, finally confronts Alec. Since Swamp Thing is an elemental and Lex Luthor just can't resist god-like power of any kind, they recreated Swamp Thing with some trademark DC technobabble. But in order to make it work and not kill everything that looks at it cross-eyed, they need to map Alec's consciousness to the creature. Because remember the creature thinks it's Alec Holland. Alec of course has a problem with that, but seriously when has moral outrage ever stopped Lexcorp?

While Alec is most likely getting the Lexcorp equivalent of a rectal probe, Constantine is in the swamp trying to get to Holland. Now I'm a little high right now so it didn't dawn on me until I was sober that there was some shitty transition along the way. Not only does Lexcorp's mysterious mad scientist not break out the waterboarding to convince Alec, but Constantine goes from Xandu's sweet bosom to the swamp. Now if you didn't read the last two issues, you could have assumed it was a flashback of sorts. But it's really hard to tell. In fact, without a few hits of LSD you probably wouldn't notice it. It's something that has been a nuisance since Brightest Day Aftermath began. It just hasn't flowed as nicely as it's predecessor.

Lousy transitions aside, Constantine's visit into the swamp is short lived. Like all Lexcorp facilities, trespassers are dealt with in the same way James Dobson and Pat Robertson would deal with homosexuals. They hit him over the head with the butt of the gun and threaten to fuck him up in ways that no amount of cigarettes can help.

Unfortunately for Lexcorp's hired guns, Batman shows up. And as anyone knows, he dines on the bones and souls of hired thugs for breakfast in between eating cake off of Catwoman's ass. He saves Constantine from a world of hurt, but he doesn't take much satisfaction in doing so. Who would? Constantine was a dick when he last crossed paths with Batman, but then again he's a dick to everyone. When Constantine says he needs to kill Alec Holland, Batman has a problem with that. For some reason he just can't get around the idea of killing a man to save John Constantine's ass. He's weird like that.

Well Batman doesn't have to enjoy it. He doesn't get to argue with Constantine all that much either because while he's lighting another cigarette, that quaint little lab where Lexcorp is committing their latest crimes against humanity erupts. Their bastardized version of Swamp Thing has been let loose and it's a big ass problem. Again, we don't get to see how that scientist convinced Alec Holland to lend his mind to this creature. We can only assume it involved threats of castration or being locked in a room with Andy Dick. Either way, Swamp Thing is on the loose and they're kind of fucked.

This isn't something Batman can just beat the shit out of like a hired gun. This is an elemental swamp creature that saved the world during Brightest Day. He can't exactly stop it by throwing money at it like most rich men would do. However, Superman stands a fighting chance. Even though he didn't care much for Constantine in the last issue, he does care when guys from Lexcorp fuck up the environment. Now this had the potential to be a really epic battle against Superman and Swamp Thing. Sadly, it's nothing of the sort. There's no two-page spread or anything. It quickly becomes a story where magic becomes a bland ass way to resolve a plot.

Again, the transitions suck. At some point Constantine transports Superman to some crazy mystical dimension where they can get to the very core of Swamp Thing sort of like how Dr. Phil gets paid millions of dollars to do so on a per-screened TV show. There's not a whole lot of action here. Superman just restrains Swamp Thing without much of a fight and then John Constantine casts a spell that's about as amazing as watching ants run around in circles. It's a pretty underhanded way to end the conflict even if it does end it effectively.

From here we get a few more scenes to tie up loose ends. They go into the lab and beat the shit out of the scientist that used Alec Holland. He ends up being some kind of mummy knock-off. I'm sure that's just Lex Luthor's way of hiring cheap labor. Then Constantine confronts Alec about the whole having to kill him to stop Swamp Thing ordeal. Once again, it's glossed over. There isn't a fight or even much of a debate. Alec Holland wants to live again and John Constantine just shrugs his shoulders and accepts it. Yeah, it's as interesting as it sounds. But he's still insists on being a dick about it.

So he and Alec Holland part ways. Superman and Batman leave with only slight damage to their lungs from Constantine's second hand smoke. It's not the happiest of endings. There's still a hint that Swamp Thing still has a hard-on for Constantine. But not much else comes of it. Alec goes on his merry way while Constantine goes back to filling his lung with tobacco smoke. Overall, it's as happy an ending you can get with John Constantine and you still feel the urge to binge drink. That says a lot about what a miserable asshole he is.

So in the end, John Constantine is still a selfish prick. But seriously, was that ever supposed to change? This was a story about Swamp Thing and for the most part, it was told and completed. Is it worth reading? Does it live up to standard set by Brightest Day? Well yes and no. For one, it's a decent story. But decent by Brightest Day standards is like a 10-6 season for the New England Patriots. For some teams it's great. But for their standards it's a bit of a let-down. This was a story that you could skip and it really wouldn't change how Brightest Day one bit. It doesn't come off as a necessary part of the story. It's just...there.

This issue did succeed in tying up many of the plots surrounding Constantine, Alec Holland, and Swamp Thing. It got other heroes like Batman, Superman, and Madam Xanadu involved in a believable way. However, the battle against Swamp Thing was underwhelming. For a story that has "Search for Swamp Thing" in the title, Swamp Thing really didn't seem to play much of a role. There was plenty of struggle, but not much fighting in between. It lacked the impact that Brightest Day set up. A few cheesy bits of dialog here and there didn't help, but John Constantine's wit along with fairly coherent narrative made for a solid finish.

I'm still a bit torn by the end of this story. It was a slight improvement over the last issue, but it still underwhelming in way too many ways. The first two issues built up a conflict and the third issue resolved that conflict with a whimper and not a bang. You may find yourself yawning through the end and no one would blame you. Maybe it's just because this series has been glossed over by Flashpoint and the new 52. But Brightest Day Aftermath remains only a slightly above average title. As a final score, I give it a 3 out of 5. It's not bad by most standards, but it had the potential to be so much more. It's a shame. Then again, I don't think DC gives one tenth a damn because it's ready to start from scratch and establish a new kind of awesome. No matter what the new 52 may bring, the legacy left by Brightest Day shall live. Nuff said!