Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Ultimate Spider-Man #160: Death of Spider-Man SPOILED

I've made no secret of it. I fucking hate Ultimate after what was done in Ultimatum. This once great series has since become a sandbox for creators to get drunk and fuck over the characters that make Marvel their money. The stories they did after Ultimatum sucked so bad that after only two years, they're fucking rebooting the damn thing again! That's a gimmick, no matter what sort of bullshit they say to justify it. Leading up to it, they decided to kill Spider-Man. Because their logic is just so fucked up. "We killed off all these characters in Ultimatum, but fans didn't like it! I know how we can fix it! Let's kill someone else! How about Spider-Man? Yeah! Let's do that!" That shit makes about as much sense as it sounds. I could rant for hours about all the crap surrounding Ultimate and the Death of Spider-Man. I'm too drunk to do so. But thankfully, the associated press already spoiled the fucking issue so now people don't have to buy it unless their masochistic. So here it is!

Newsarama: Death of Spider-Man Spoilers

Here's the big secret. Peter Parker dies. That's it.

I wish I could say that it affected me. But after Ultimatum, any death in Ultimate is a fucking joke. In this same article Marvel has the balls to say that fans will embrace a new Spider-Man just as much as they embraced Peter Parker. I'm sorry, but in what fucking universe do fans embrace anyone more than Peter Parker as Spider-Man? They tried this bullshit with the Clone Saga back in the 90s and fans hated it so damn much that Marvel ended up retconning it! So what the fuck makes them think they can get away with it a second time? What the fuck are they smoking and where can I get some? Seriously, if you have any love for Ultimate, you're fucked. This is what they've been reduced to. They just kill the characters they can't get away with killing in 616. If that's all they can come up with, then what the fuck are they doing writing comics for a living? Doesn't that job require fucking creativity? Stay tuned. I may fully review this book just to really flesh out the bullshit. I'll borrow it from a friend. I won't give Marvel my money for this shit. After what they've done to Ultimate, they deserve nothing but a broken bottle of whiskey and a million middle fingers from every Ultimate fan that ever gave a damn. Nuff said!


  1. The whole Ultimate series has pretty much crashed and burned. In the beginning the writers had this opportunity to take the characters we're already familiar with and push them into different directions. Instead, over half of the cast end up dying (many of them were pointless deaths at that). Now Spider-Man is the latest victim? WTF Marvel?

  2. I agree. Ultimate is shit. The sad part is people are going to buy into this fucking gimmick and Marvel will think that means it's actually good. It's only good in the sense that a horrible car wreck is good. People still stop by and look at it because that's what we're inclined to do when we see something horrible. That doesn't mean it's good. Death of Spider-Man is just another gimmick and one that utterly fucks a series that's already been more fucked than a Tijuana whore. If Marvel really thinks they can get people to care about a replacement Spider-Man as much as they do Peter Parker, they're full of shit.