Thursday, May 15, 2014

A Not-So-Crazy Conspiracy - Uncanny X-men #21 PREVIEW

We all feel like the world is conspiring against us at some point. Most of the time that's just a product of having a really shitty day or a really shitty weed dealer. But every now and then, that sense that there's a conspiracy meant to screw over one particular person is actually pretty damn accurate. Most of the time, those people just happen to be enemies of Karl Rove or Rupert Murdock. But those who have the resources will use them if they feel like being especially huge douche-bags towards one particular person.

That's where Cyclops currently stands in the Marvel universe. Once the mutant Captain America who was leader of the entire mutant race and personal giaglo to Emma Frost, he has fallen on some really tough times. Even if he was under the influence of a cosmic force, he's still the asshole that murdered Charles Xavier. Now he's a fugitive from SHIELD, his powers are all fucked up, the X-men hate his guts, and Emma Frost won't let him see her naked anymore. But that hasn't stopped him from trying to be Cyclops in the pages of Uncanny X-men. It's just way fucking harder.

For nearly half the series now, he has been investigating a new wave of Sentinel attacks that have been targeting him, his X-men, the Jean Grey Institute, and mutant sympathizers. We haven't gotten too many clues as to who might be behind this other than they like to dress as Ultron cos-players. But one thing Cyclops is sure of now is that SHIELD has been keeping their thumbs comfortably in their asses in confronting this threat. He's also sure that Maria Hill badly wants her to fuck him, but he hasn't found a way to use that just yet. I'm sure that's part of his plan. He's just taking it one step at a time.

Right now, the first step is to learn more about these Sentinels. So at the end of Uncanny X-men #20, he paid a visit to the Jean Grey Institute to enlist help from the team that hates his guts and maybe piss Wolverine off just for shits and giggles. It not a pleasant meeting to say the least and it quickly went to shit. But a preview released by Newsarama shows just how quickly it went to shit. It also shows that the conspiracy against Cyclops might run a little deeper.

Artist Variant by TBA
• The Cyclops Revolution marches on!
• Who is the mysterious figure building Sentinels for SHIELD?
• Find out what happened to Dazzler since Mystique took her down back in UNCANNY X-MEN #9!

This preview essentially confirms what Cyclops already suspected in the previous issue. Somebody with a fuckton of resources and way too much free time is conspiring against him, seeking new ways to fuck with him. Since his powers are already broken, that's not as hard as it could be. And since his credibility with the X-men at the moment is worse than Donald Rumsfeld's credibility on planning an invasion, they're not going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Hell, even if Cyclops finds the asshole responsible and drags him or her to the front door of the Jean Grey Institute with a signed confession tattooed on their ass, it probably wouldn't do him any good.

That's the growing issue here in Uncanny X-men. I get why Marvel decided to take Cyclops down a few pegs. He was living pretty damn large for a while, being the undisputed leader of the X-men and banging Emma Frost in his spare time. The man needed to be humbled. I just get the sense they're entering overkill territory. This is a guy who was already fucked over badly in the X-men movies. Does he really need to be fucked over any worse here? I say no, but that's just a drunk's perspective. Nuff said!


  1. Storm Is Being An A$$, Like Always.

  2. I don't like this rendition of Storm , what happened ?

  3. Please please please Let Magik Fight Storm, And Let Magik Win. Storm Needs A Beating!

  4. Here's what Marvel needs to do to get me to start buying their comics again: Beast and Cyclops become best friends again, Emma and Cyclops hook up again so she can beat in him in private and call it disciplinary action, while really it's their kinky BDSM sex fetish, Abigail Brand and Beast actually have an on panel romantic relationship again, and commit crimes against nature by playing: "Alien Science Pervert."

    Oh, and kick Bendis the fuck off the X-Books.


    P.S. I don't give a fuck if it's derivative and done to death. I don't buy Marvel X-Men comics for Status Quo changing events or any other reason than indulging in the same old characters in the same team configurations I like following.

    1. In order to get Bendis off the X-Books the other X-writers really need to step their game up. The top 2 selling X-titles are the ones written by Bendis, and Marvel isn't likely to drop him unless he has a massive ego explosion in the office. As long as his titles sell the most, he will be writing them.

    2. I know, he's been their "it girl" since 2005 and dominated the comic sales charts with his rather lengthy Avengers run. Which he seems to be borrowing certain ideas for his X-Men runs. Namely a renegade Avenger street team at odds with a officially sanctioned Avengers team post Avengers: Disassembled. Then he smeared Wanda's character in order to start the schism between amongst the Avengers as well as change the mutant status quo. I feel Bendis is pulling a Scarlet Witch with Beast. Good grief, what a load.