Thursday, May 8, 2014

All New X-men #27 Preview - Next Level WTF

The concept of WTF gets thrown around pretty liberally these days. It’s just so hard to surprise people without going on some racist, sexist, homophobic rant on a hidden camera. But every now and then, something does come along that is genuinely shocking in the most fucked up kind of way. Sometimes it’s overly random. Sometimes it’s overly illogical. Sometimes it just looks like the powers that be did way too much blow when they thought of it. But it does happen even in this day of desensitized violence and overused gimmicks.

We already knew from the ending in All New X-men #26 that the future Brotherhood of Mutants from X-men: Battle of the Atom was back. They even took some time to rough up X-23. But their return also offers the opportunity to answer some of the many unanswered questions from Battle of the Atom. Even though it was a big ass event, it left some big ass plot holes behind. On top of that, the future Brotherhood of Mutants stuck around to continue fucking up the past. Now they’re finally getting around to it.

But one of the less pressing questions had to do with Charles Xavier Jr. He revealed himself as Xavier’s grandson. Nobody really thought much of it. I know I didn’t, but I was stoned. I have an excuse. However, how the fuck did he end up going the complete opposite direction as his pacifist grandfather? Was he really just born with a “fuck the X-men” mentality? Well Newsarama released a preview of All New X-men #27 and it has in it a WTF revelation that could leave the most sober among us dazed.



So Mystique is the one that shat out Xavier Jr. Fuck, I’ve got nothing here. Even I can’t get stoned enough to make sense of this shit. For one, how the fuck does Mystique even let herself get knocked up? Given how badly shit turns out with Nightcralwer and Rogue, shouldn’t she have gotten her tubes tied? Plus, how can she even find time to get knocked up when she’s so busy being an unrepentant sociopath? I’m struggling to wrap my head around it and I just fought off a hangover.

But as fucked up as it is, it does answer one question. This is why Xavier Jr. is such an asshole compared to his grandfather. Mystique gave birth to him and ditched him. Unlike Nightcrawler, he didn’t get to join the circus or find religion to make him not be an asshole. Maybe this will come up in future issues. But right now, my head is still spinning and I’m going to need a shit tone of blow between now and next week when the issue comes out. I just hope that on the morning I get my comics, I wake up with my pants on and my kidneys still in place. Nuff said!

9 comments:

  1. Wow...they did not think that through. It made more sense before Legion erased himself from existence, so I'm guessing they had to pull this one out of their asses and thought it would be better if Raze and Xavier Jr are brothers?

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  2. Mystique has another asshole mutant hating kid. Maybe this one is along the same lines? Although I have the feeling this isn't actually Charles' kid. I'm thinking it's Raze (back during house of M Mystique and Wolverine were a couple until they snapped out of it plus she mimicked one of Wolverines gfs to mess with him). Comics time is a mess. It's possible that they'd have her pop out a kid 5 years later.

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    1. Graydon Creed notwithstanding, I'm sort of tired of them using Mystique as the womb of all plot lines.

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  3. Wait... is Xavier his father or grandfather?

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    1. Honestly, I think he's neither. I'm willing to bet that, somehow, Mystique got knocked up by some other telepath and "Charles Xavier Jr." inherited both Mystiques shape-shfiting and that person's telepathy, then shape-shifted to make himself look like Xavier...

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  4. Wait I'm so confused so .... is J.r. and Raze brothers ? And how is he related to Xavier ? How is Xavier a grandfather ? Smh .......

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  5. I think, mystique's son is actually future Xavier father, everyone asumed that his father was legion, but we never got confirmation.

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  6. And SHE's the one calling Dazzler a whore....

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  7. I would freaking love it if this was Mystique and Xavier's love child. I'm so serious.

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