Thursday, July 3, 2014

All New X-men #29 Preview - Cunning Brutality

I know the whole concept of bloodlust is really disturbing to some people. I imagine those people have never been cut off on the freeway on a road trip in a car with no air conditioning and a busted radio. But I like to think that bloodlust has its place in the landscape of human evolution. I imagine there were plenty of assholes back during our caveman days. We needed that kind of bloodlust to either beat them to death with clubs or use them as bait for mammoths. In modern, civilized society, that kind of bloodlust had given way to less messy forms of outrage. Most involve lawyers, petty and unevenly applied drug laws, and crazy glue. I won’t say they’re better, but they’re effective in their own right.

But some people are assholes of such an epic caliber that the caveman approach is really the only approach that’s warranted. And if that level of asshole were a corporation, Xavier Jr. would be its CEO. As leader of the future Brotherhood of Mutants, this guy seems intent on dumping every kind of shit from every animal on his father’s (or grandfather depending on how fucked up the narrative is willing to be) legacy. He failed in his first attempt to kill the X-men back in X-men: Battle of the Atom. Thanks to more time travel bullshit, he has another shot in All New X-men. And in the previous issue, it looked like he had learned from his mistakes. Then he somehow forgot that stabbing a teenage girl who happens to be a clone of Wolverine and hoping she stays dead is the dumbest move since New Coke, Crystal Pepsi, or light beer.

Xavier Jr. went to great lengths to put O5 Jean Grey and the rest of the New Xavier School on the ropes. He struck at just the right time. O5 Jean Grey just manifested a new set of psychic powers, which she used to kick Gladiator’s ass. She’s not sure on the extent of these powers and hasn’t started training to use them. So if he’s going to get around the hostile mind of a teenage girl, he needs to make this shit count. But as we saw at the end of All New X-men #28, teenage girls can be deviously cunning, even when they’re not wearing mini-skirts and thongs. Now a lettered preview released by Comicsvine shows that this cunning is going to really fucking hurt for Xavier Jr. However, it’s still nowhere near the level of hurt this asshole deserves.

(W) Brian Michael Bendis (A/CA) Stuart Immonen
• Past, present and future collide as the Future Brotherhood exacts their final judgment on the All-New X-Men.
• Plus, Angel takes control!

I try not to let my bloodlust get to me outside of a traffic jam, but there’s so much about this I find satisfying. Seeing X-23, who didn’t get to participate in X-men: Battle of the Atom, stab Xavier Jr. the same way I stab a plate of bacon just put a smile on my face that I don’t usually get outside a strip club in Las Vegas. Many of the details that have been revealed about Xavier Jr. and his future Brotherhood may be fucked up and unrefined, but they do send a clear message. He’s a total asshole and badly in need of a dose of adamantium to the base of his spine.

Beyond the satisfying sight of seeing Xavier Jr. in agony, it also represents what could be a nice turning point for X-23 and O5 Jean Grey. Not long ago, there was some conflict between the two because X-23 became a bit too fond of hugging O5 Cyclops. O5 Jean had a bit of a problem with that, even though she had been busting his balls instead of hugging him for most of this series. But now, with O5 Cyclops running off to spend time with his dad and O5 Angel looking to swoop in for some sympathy pussy, X-23 and O5 Jean have less to disagree about. And aside from Kitty Pryde, O5 Jean doesn’t have a lot of female friends. She sure as hell could use a few, especially if she’s going to be mentored by Emma Frost. I’m not saying they’ll end up doing lesbian porn together, but maybe this will help establish some new ties for them to develop. Nothing bonds two people together than tormenting some sadistic asshole who deserves it. It’s messier than cocaine and weed, but almost every bit as satisfying. Nuff said!


  1. Laura's "backstab" is delicious. Can't wait to see what Jean does to Xavier now that his hold has been broken.

    Very curious to see what Angel gets to do (finally).

  2. Go Laura go :-D , i missing her footclaws but Xavier Jr. gets what he deserves.
    And well, lets see how this "Angel thing" will turn out...