Wolverine and the X-men #8 - Beastile Awesome

I tend to be harsh on certain characters, but I try to make sure my drunken anger is reserved only for those who deserve it. Characters like Dr. Doom, Sinister, and Rick Santorum deserve it because they're inherently evil. But for the characters that are supposedly heroes, like say Hank McCoy, the standards are a little higher and the drunken anger is that much more drunk. And as I've pointed out on many previous reviews, Beast is more than deserving of the kind of drunken rage reserved for underpaid Irish dock workers. He's been a supreme douche-bag going all the way back to the Utopia arc. He pissed and moaned about Cyclops crossing too many lines. Never mind that doing so yielded mutants their own country and helped them beat Bastion. Never mind that Beast offered no fucking alternatives aside from "I don't approve and I'm just going to be mad at you because I can!" He claims to be smart, but he's not smart enough to do anything but whine. And all he's done since joining Wolverine's side at the Jean Grey Institute is play the role of a glorified handy man.

Now some of my drunken rage may or may not be warranted, but I'm always willing to give a character like Beast a chance to redeem himself. In fact, I welcome it. He's one of the Original Five. He's got more brains in his pinkie finger than I have in ten different heads. I'd love it if somehow he could get a story where he's at least somewhat redeemed. Well he finally has a chance in the pages of Wolverine and the X-men. This series has been a top notch provider of awesome so pure that if you injected it into your arm you would die of an overdoes, but die with a raging hard-on and a big fucking smile. It has told the story of the Jean Grey Institute and how it is trying to survive in a post-Schism world where a bunch of homicidal kids are intent on killing them. So far, they've had to contend with phony pregnancies, alien infections, financial problems, killer islands, and alien casinos. If ever there was a more appropriate, albeit fucked up, medium for Beast to redeem himself it's this.

At the end of the first arc for Wolverine and the X-men, there was a brief shot of the Hellfire Kids after they were unceremoniously beaten after trying to throw an army of monsters at the institute. Since kids like to whine and moan when they don't get their way, they decided to do what's logical in the mind of a pre-teen. They make friends with a homicidal killer in Sabretooth. That's right! The guy who got fucking decapitated in the pages of Wolverine came back before Jean Grey came back and without the fucking Phoenix Force no less. There isn't a universe big enough to list all the ways that shit is fucked up. However, he has been making trouble in the Wolverine comics lately and shacking up with Mystique (who can blame him?). Now he's back in the pages of Wolverine and the X-men, giving the Hellfire Kids a quick lesson on how to ruthlessly torment their enemies. Now I'm inclined to believe that kids don't need to be told how to be monsters these days, but Sabretooth is one of those guys who can add a personal touch to being a villain. He encourages them to go for the heart and not just throw monsters at the problem. And you know what? He's right! It's refreshing to see a man like Sabretooth assist the youth of the world in becoming accomplished sociopaths.

Sabretooth's desire to maim Wolverine and his school couldn't have come at a better time. The dust from the previous arc has yet to settle. part of said dust involved Wolverine getting his fucking legs broken for trying to cheat an alien casino. That doesn't sound like much until you remember that Wolverine has adamantium bones. Joe Pesci on a meth high armed with a light sabre couldn't have broken his bones, but somehow these aliens did. Beast is understandably perplexed/curious. He says he needs some sort of matter transmutator to help heal his bones. But until then, Wolverine will have to do his best Charles Xavier impression and wheel around in a wheelchair with legs that look like pretzels. Fuck, what is it with the headmasters of mutant institutes that has them end up in wheelchairs? What happened to the good old days when being an administrator only meant the occasional piss in your coffee?

In order to get the necessary tech he needs, Beast decides to pay a visit to SWORD. They deal with aliens all the time and it's a given that they probably confiscate some kick-ass alien tech the same way cops confiscate some blow from drug dealers and share it with some hookers they arrested. Since Beast is currently boning the head of SWORD, Abigail Brand, he gets in the institute's handy space shuttle and takes off while Wolverine is stuck in a wheelchair. All the while Sabretooth is plotting to take advantage of this. During this interval, it's revealed that the conversation with Sabretooth and the Hellfire Kids took place in the recent past. Now it's easy to miss and a little confusing if you're not paying attention or just high (or both). But it is there. It's just way more choppy than it needs to be.

But a plot about Beast making a booty call to his space-faring girlfriend would be too boring for Wolverine and the X-men. The heart of the book is still the students. And like any young students in a school, they find ways to get into trouble. Most settle for just riding around with paintball guns and knocking over mail-boxes. For this round of trouble, Angel decides to start some shit. Why Angel? Who by all accounts has been utterly mind-fucked by the events of the Dark Angel Saga? Well he's going through a bit of a Rick Santorum phase where he thinks he's a real angel meant to carry out the will of god. He's been randomly healing people and acting like every character in a romantic comedy played by Matthew McConaughey. Then when he couldn't heal Wolverine he took it personally and decides to play the role of Angel of Vengeance by traveling to the alien casino planet. It's a very fucked up method of thinking, but then again reason rarely follows religiously motivated vengeance. He doesn't have to go it alone either. Kid Omega and a group of others that include Idie, Broo, Genesis, Kid Gladiator, and Warbird demand to go with him. Kid Gladiator is especially insistent. He's just not happy if he doesn't beat the shit out of someone every day. He's almost like a young Mike Tyson, minus the pigeon obsession.

The kids go off in their twisted space adventure. Meanwhile, Beast prepares to make what should be a simple space booty call to his girlfriend. But when he arrives, he finds out that Sabretooth made himself right at home at SWORD. He started by slaughtering a few hapless SWORD agents and turning them into smears on his spacecraft. He also shows that he has Abigail Brand in a headlock and outside in the vacuum of space no less. He basically dares Beast to take him on in the most hostile environment imaginable. Usually, a man of Hank's IQ would be able to conclude that fighting a sociopath in space that can heal is not a good idea. But the man has his girl. IQ quotients mean dick. So like a good pussy-whipped boyfriend, Beast ventures out into space to take on Sabretooth.

This is the kind of action that Beast hasn't been a part of in nearly a decade. He's been either imprisoned, side-lined, or just fodder in other battles. He's rarely had a personal stake like this, making him seem as relevant as Kathy Griffin in the annuls of X-men. Here, he gets to channel the kind of heroism that made him a member of the Original Five. Now it's still choppy as to how Sabretooth got up into space and overpowered Abigail Brand, but Beast still looks pretty badass for once. So for the first time in my brain damaged memory, I can't come up with a justifiable way to call him a douche-bag.

But even with his girlfriend under threat, he doesn't fare all that well against Sabretooth. He may have the body of a half-man, half-oversized cat but Sabretooth has Weapon X training and routinely practiced kicking ass with Wolverine. Being more brains than balls just doesn't cut it here. Their fight goes from space and crashes through into the SWORD space station, allowing for some gravity assisted ass-kicking. However, Sabretooth has the advantage here and makes good use of it. He not only roughs up Beast. He destroys any nearby space helmets so he can't go after Sabretooth when he leaves him behind to go torture his girl. It's cruel, it's mean, and it's brazen. But it's Sabretooth. Fuck, I didn't realize how much I missed his ugly ass until just now.

While the battle against Sabretooth and Beast is rife with heart-wrenching anger, the battle at the alien casino isn't quite as spectacular. Angel and his fellow students arrive and start randomly picking fights. It's not nearly as well-thought out or well-depicted either. I may just be too drunk, but didn't Angel just want to come to this casino to pay back the guys who broke Wolverine's legs? Or is this just how they decided to skip class? That's not very clear. It would have been okay if the battles were nicely depicted, but they aren't. The only decent moment is when Genesis shows some of his apocalyptic potential and roughs up some of the alien casino thugs. It actually makes for a nice moment between him and Angel, who each reflect on the knowledge that they've had their lives erased and fucked up. Considering their connection, it's ridiculously ironic. It would just be more awesome if the action here was halfway fleshed out.

The battle for Beast's fuck buddy is much more defined. Despite being stuck on the SWORD base with no space helmet, he prepares to go after Sabretooth before he can do a little zero-gravity dissection on Agent Brand. Again, he shows that he has the scrotal strength to go along with his brains. With blatant disregard for his own safety or well-being, he leaps out into the vacuum of space with the understanding that his head may explode and knocks Sabretooth away from his girl. And being a grateful/vindictive woman she is, Brand retrieves Beast and her gun that she had dropped earlier to do a little target practice on Sabretooth. The furball is bloodied, wounded, and blown all the way to the moon. For anyone else, you would consider that excessive. Seeing as how this guy survived getting his head chopped off, it's more than appropriate.

It ends up being a very clean resolution for the X-men, relatively speaking of course. Beast has his girl back and plenty of reasons to guilt her into mountains of makeup sex. The students arrive back at the Jean Grey Institute where Angel reveals that he didn't just go to the casino to rough some people up. He went there to retrieve that transmutator that Beast said he needed to heal Wolverine. It adds some purpose to their little trip, but the poor organization of the fight still made it utterly forgettable. 

What's not as forgettable is the lesson Sabretooth taught the Hellfire kids. Even though he ended up getting his ass blown to the fucking moon, he still proved his point. He showed that the best way to attack an X-man is to hit him in the heart. Now the Hellfire kids are ready to prepare their next attack (after retrieving Sabretooth from orbit of course). With the events of Avengers vs. X-men looking to take hold in the pages of Wolverine and the X-men, they'll have plenty of opportunities and Jason Aaron has a twisted enough imagination to make it awesome!

I've been waiting for a story like this. No, I don't mean a story where Sabretooth gets horribly maimed in an excessively brutal way, although that is plenty appealing in it's own right. I mean a story where Beast actually comes off as someone you don't want to kick repeatedly in the balls with steel-toed boots. This story doesn't completely make up for him being such a massive tool in previous stories, but it does help make him more likable. He braved the icy vacuum of space to save his girlfriend from the clutches of a madman. There are guys in this world won't pick their girlfriends up from the airport if it conflicts with a baseball game. You have to respect that. You also have to respect any story that ends with Sabretooth getting his ass shot to the fucking moon.

It was a satisfying issue for anyone looking for Hank McCoy to finally shine in ways that don't involve him being a wise ass. It wasn't quite as satisfying in the way it dealt with the side-plot involving the impromtu field trip by the students. I get the intent. The plot on the alien casino was a lot of fun in the previous arc. Why not return to it and see what other kinds of awesome you can milk from it? It just could have been a bit less random. It still had some nice moments. Seeing Angel and Genesis reflect on the somewhat fucked up nature of their situation was pretty interesting. Since these two were so strongly linked during the Dark Angel Saga, it's makes sense that they would be linked now and there's definitely some potential for story there. That potential is just lost when there's so little purpose behind returning to the casino other than to pick a fight with the pit bosses that threw their asses out.

This issue wasn't terribly epic, but it made for a nice one-shot that offered some nice character moments for Beast, Genesis, and Angel. It also offered a nice opportunity to bloody up Sabretooth, which can make any comic entertaining. It wasn't a story that needed to be told in the form of an arc, but it still worked and worked well. The lack of rhythm in some areas keep it from being as awesome as it could be. However, it accomplished an important feat in making Beast more likable again. For that in conjunction with Jason Aaron's colorful brand of storytelling, I give Wolverine and the X-men #8 a 4 out of 5. Beast is still an asshole until he walks up to Cyclops and admits that it's bullshit to criticize him for making hard decisions without offering viable alternatives that would have turned out better. However, this arc makes him a little less douchy and worthy of not being the butt of every hairy pussy joke. Nuff said!

X-men Supreme Issue 51: Stirring Outrage PREVIEW

For much of Marvel's history, the X-men have represented a social commentary aspect of their mythos. The X-men have always been seen as a metaphor for minorities and persecuted groups while still being the costumed heroes we comic book fans know and love. I've made some effort to capture that social commentary aspect in the X-men Supreme fanfiction series, but I've avoided getting too political until the events of X-men Supreme Volume 3: Ashes of Hope. Fittingly enough, during this election season I'm telling a story of how the struggles of the X-men and mutants have become a key issue in a presidential election. Senator Robert Kelly is trying to ride the fear and hatred stirred by mutants from the events of X-men Supreme Volumes 1 and 2 right into the White House. The previous landmark 50th issue of X-men Supreme set the stage for a conflict that is as dangerous as it is political. Now a new kind of battle is ready to unfold and it begins in the pages of Issue 51: Stirring Outrage. I've prepared a quick preview to show what can be expected.

“Leave me alone! What do you asshats want from me?!” a desperate teenage girl cried out into a dreary night.


“You’re already an abomination, mutant! You’re not doing yourself any favors by running from human justice!”


They were words of sheer hatred. Megan Gwynn, or Pixie as some called her, had been hearing it for much of her life going back to her days in Wales, England. The bigotry she faced back home was bad, but she never faced anything like this before. These people were operating on a whole new level of hatred. She didn’t know who they were or where they came from, but they were all wearing the same uniforms with the emblems ‘Friends of Humanity’ embroider on their shirts. Despite the name, they hardly seemed friendly.


Running desperately through the dirty alleys of East Harlem, she struggled to remember how this all started. She wasn’t in a friendly area to begin with. This was a shady part of town, but one in which mutants tended to congregate. They had to with all the prejudice they had been facing. It had been especially hard for her. She recently lost her father in a mining accident and had been living off the inheritance with a few other mutants in a shelter. It was a rough life, especially when it was hard to hide her mutation. They were nothing fancy. She had insect-like butterfly wings on her back that she could use to fly and elf-like ears. It seemed like a benign power, but these guys didn’t seem to care.


She had just left a small restaurant frequented by mutants and was heading back to the shelter. Along the way she noticed these strange men following her. The next thing she knew she was surrounded. They started pushing her and intimidating her, knowing full well she was a mutant trying to hide her mutancy. When they ripped off her jacket and revealed her wings, it was the excuse they needed to start chasing her. Why they singled her was beyond her. She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.


“Over here! She’s heading around the back!” one of the men chasing her said.


“Good! That means she’s got nowhere left to hide!”


Pixie was in dire need of a breather. She had been running for her life for a full fifteen minutes. There were just too many of these guys. They were swift and coordinated, setting them apart from other anti-mutant hecklers. They were trying to corner her, leading her down an ally that had no escape. It was going from bad to worse and the young mutant was really starting to panic.


‘Who the hell are these guys? I know it’s been bad for mutants lately, but these guys…they take hatred and mix in an extra dose of crazy! And here I was thinking Americans were friendly to mutants and the Welsh!’


Pixie saw more of these men down towards the end of the alley. Now she was being chased from behind and from up ahead. She had no choice but to run into a smaller, adjacent alley where garbage had piled up. It led her straight into a dead end. Now she was facing a hoard of anti-mutant zealots on one end and a brick wall on the other.


Leaning against the wall and gasping for air, Pixie knew they officially had her trapped. Fear and frustration took over as she turned around to face her attackers. They were closing in, their eyes full of hate and disgust. Some of them were armed with baseball bats, metal pipes, and brass knuckles. She wasn’t sure if they were going to kill her or just beat her to a pulp. Whatever their intent, she had to get away.


“End of the line, mutant scum!” said one of the men, “Time to face the pure hand of humanity!”


“Why?! What did I ever do to you blokes?!” Pixie cried desperately


“You were born!”


It was hatred of the worst kind. There was no reason behind it. They just hated what she was. It was a hate Pixie knew she could not get around.


“Brace yourself, mutant bitch! Cooperate and we’ll make this quick!” said the same man.


“Says you!” Pixie spat angrily, “These wings aren’t just for show, you know! Although they could be!”


Gathering what strength she had left, Pixie flexed her wings and took to the air. Up above she saw clear, open sky. They would not be able to follow her here. Or so she thought.


“See you later you mutant hating jerks!” she taunted, “You don’t like mutants? Take it up with Charles Darwin!”


“She’s getting away!” said one of them.


“Not for long, she isn’t!”


Pixie was just about to clear the building. Then one of the armed men stepped forth from the crowd a pointed a specially made hunting rifle up at her. She was tired so she wasn’t flying very fast. Before she could get too far, he got off three well-aimed shots. The first two missed, but the third one hit her right in the upper part of her wings. As soon as Pixie felt this, she went tumbling back towards the ground below in a world of pain.


“Ahhhhhhhhhh!” she cried out.


Her wing was bleeding. She could feel the blood drip down onto her shirt. She tried to grab onto the ledge of the building to keep herself from falling back into the ally. But her fingertips barely grazed it, leaving her nowhere to go but down.


She struck the hard pavement below with a hard thud. She landed on her side, feeling a sharp snap in her left leg as she landed. She definitely broke a few bones. She could even feel one protruding from her skin. It was painful in a terrible way. But the pain was secondary to her fear. Only half-conscious and unable to move, she watched as the angry men surrounded her on all sides.


“Please… don’t,” Pixie begged, blood now dripping from her mouth.


“Save your breath. The Friends of Humanity show mercy only to our fellow humans. And you are most certainly not human!”

In addition, I've done a quick update to the Goblin Queen section of my pics section. I've noticed that Madelyne Pryor is a pretty popular character in the annuls of X-men. I promise I'll do my best to fill her section as I have the other X-women!

While I strive to make the X-men Supreme fanfiction series the highest of quality, I also try to make it relevant as the real comics so often are. Part of what makes Marvel awesome is their willingness to tackle real-world issues. X-men Supreme will address those issues in many unique ways that you won't find outside this fanfiction series. If you have any feedback or commentary of your own for how I'm handling this or any other element of the X-men Supreme fanfiction series, please contact me and I'll be happy to discss this with you! Thank you everybody for your kind support. Until next time, take care and best wishes!

Jack

Avengers vs. X-men #1 - It's Here!

Quit counting to veins on your penis or the strands of hair on your cooch! The wait is finally over! Avengers vs. X-men is here! The beginning of a big comic event is like the emergence of a new strain of potent weed. That first bong it is the most important. If after you take a whiff of that sweet, succulent holy smoke your mind is awash in the kind of awesome that would make a speech by Al Gore entertaining, you know you've got something. That's not to say the first hit will determine how awesome the strain ends up being. Sometimes after a while, the strain loses it's potency or has some unpleasant side-effects. I liken certain strains to Fear Itself, an event that started off so well but fell flat at the end and fucked up my short term memory to the point where I went to the grocery store and forgot to put on my pants. Okay, so Fear Itself wasn't bad enough to make me do anything like that, but you get what I'm saying.

Avengers vs. X-men has been build up to a point where the hype almost becomes inane. This issue has had so many preludes that it Doc Brown himself would think the time-space continuum was unraveling a la Back to the Future 2. Some of them have been awesome, like X-Sanction. Others have been painfully lame, like Avengers vs. X-men #0. Some have been just so-so, like Children's Crusade and Point One. But they've all had their role. They've helped put the right pieces in place and granted, there are a lot of fucking pieces to this story. This shit goes all the way back to House of M, a story at a time when only one state allowed gays to get married. Fuck, has it really been that long? Or am I just high? Well whatever the reason, that event is what made mutants and endangered species and led to the emergence of Hope Summers (aka the most blatant Jean Grey ripoff since Madelyne Pryor and she was a fucking clone). Like other redheads with green eyes, Hope has shown the flares of the Phoenix Force. Now Avengers vs. X-men promises to finally pour rocket fuel on that flame and light a fire under the asses of every Marvel fan on the planet.

Officially, the event began with Avengers vs. X-men #0. As I made abundantly clear in my review, it was a shitty beginning. All it did was remind us of shit that was already established in other stories. It had some redeeming qualities and it probably will tie in with shit in later issues, but on it's own it wasn't very good. It was just another prelude on top of many. Well now we can finally ditch the fucking prelude title and get to the real meat of the story! It's like having to sit through the shitty plot in a porno before getting to the action. I think the collective dicks of every Marvel fan are ready for this and I'm ready to get hammered and review it!

Avengers vs. X-men #1 begins with yet another reminder that the Phoenix is on it's way. We've already known that shit since Point One, but just to emphasize that it's not fucking around it torches yet another hapless alien planet. Why? It's the fucking Phoenix Force! It doesn't need a reason other than maybe it's become just as pissed off about shitty replacement characters like Hope Summers.

 
While the cosmic parrot is on it's way, things on Earth are as oblivious as always. Then in a scene that's sure to get Fox News riled up in the post 9/11 world, Nova comes crashing down and doing some pretty amazing damage in the process. It forces the Avengers to assemble in their trademark catch phrase to control the damage. It's done in a pretty elaborate way as well. In a superhero comic, it seems pretty menial to do shit like prevent skyscrapers from collapsing and planes from crashing, but putting in that extra detail definitely helps even if some of it is needless.

Even if such details are needless on some levels, the destructive arrival of Nova helps give emphasis to the level of urgency. At this point, the Avengers don't know the Phoenix is coming. They're still not completely aware on some levels because Nova is so roughed up from his impact that he can only repeat what he said in Point One, which is "It's coming." That could mean a lot of things. It could mean a killer cosmic entity is on it's way. It could mean a horse is about to splooge on an illegal animal porn set. But the sheer destruction he caused with his arrival helps make clear to the Avengers that some cosmic level shit is about to go down. It also effectively ties in the events of Point One with this issue, which makes for the kind of seamless coherence that makes babies smile and Planned Parenthood workers cry.

This ominous warning for the Avengers wouldn't be so ominous for the X-men, who have been seeing signs of the Phoenix for quite some time thanks to a red-haired, green-eyed girl NOT named Jean Grey. That girls is Hope Summers, who the Avengers haven't really paid much attention to despite supposedly being the messiah an entire species. But she definitely has the attention of the X-men. After Avengers vs. X-men #0 when she claimed she was ready for the Phoenix, Cyclops decided it was time to start training her one-on-one. By training I mean he pretty much beats the crap out of her. It comes off as abuse that would get most teachers fired (except in Catholic schools). He keeps demanding that she train and dishes out punishment, some of which is pretty fucking unfair. At one point he says she can't use her powers, but he can and he takes full advantage of it. I'm not sure if this is training or just pent up frustration for seeing too many redheads get pussy boners for Wolverine.

Now this is a pretty fucked up scene that the anti-Cyclops crowd will probably jump on like Fox News jumps on every story about a cute blonde girl getting kidnapped. And they aren't entirely wrong. Cyclops is being a dick here. He's beating up a teenage girl that's supposed to be the mutant messiah and not being very nice about it. I'm tempted to do a little Cyclops bashing myself, but then a couple of brain cells that I haven't yet killed kick in and remind me of recent events. Both X-Sanction and Avengers vs. X-men #0 link to this moment. In X-Sanction, Cyclops saw for himself that Hope could manifest the Phoenix and use it to cure Cable of the techno-organic virus. Then in Avengers vs. X-men #0 she fucking blasted him when he was trying to be civil with her AND stole his jet pack! I'm sorry, but when a teenage girl steals your jet pack I'm pretty sure there's a special exception to the Geneva Convention's provisions on disciplining arrogant teenagers. In addition, this girl doesn't know shit about the Phoenix. Yet she thinks she's ready. Since she's someone Cyclops has put all his faith in, it's understandable that he wants to push her to make prove it. He's still a dick, but he's a dick with reason. There's a porno joke somewhere, but I'm enjoying seeing Hope get her ass kicked way too much to put it in writing.

Cyclops keeps attacking, demanding that she do better. She manages to land a few lucky blows, but like any arrogant teenager with only a miniscule willingness to learn she loses her cool and flares another round of Phoenix fire. Now perhaps this was by design. Perhaps this is what Cyclops was trying to do just to see if he could get Hope to show that flare that gave him such a boner when Jean Grey was still alive. Whatever his reason, it worked. Hope is doesn't just flash some Phoenix bling. She knocks Cyclops back and roughs him up in a way that helps balance out the excessive punishment he gave to her. See anti-Cyclops fans? There is a sense of justice in the Marvel universe. Now please keep the bitching and moaning to a minimum.

That flare, however, doesn't go ignored this time (and that's saying a lot since this shit has been flaring up since Second Coming). While Cyclops is testing everyone's stance on capital punishment to teenage girls, Captain America and Iron Man are informing the President of why he should issue an executive order for everyone to shit themselves. They give a brief overview of the Phoenix, explaining the bare basics of what it is. They were able to pick up the energy signature from Nova, who is now in a coma and out cold. Somehow, the presence of a teenage girl that looked and dressed just like Jean Grey wasn't enough. But while they're explaining why this cosmic entity is bad news, their sensors go off and they detect Hope's little temper tantrum on Utopia. So the Avengers leave the president to ponder the collapse of his sphincter while they recruit Wolverine from the Jean Grey Institute for help. Since the events of Schism leave him with little bromance with Cyclops, he joins with his Avengers buddies as they prepare to take on this cosmic parrot.

Now it's worth noting here that the overview of the Phoenix presented by the Avengers was extremely basic. It doesn't even begin to cover all the crazy stories surrounding the Phoenix. They skipped the clones, the Xorn/Magneto imposter, the fixing shit that doesn't work, the part about a fake Jean killing herself on the moon while the real Jean was in a cocoon in Jamaica Bay, and the events of Phoenix Endsong and Warsong. I get that it's more fucked up than Jenna Jameson shooting a porno at a circus, but it's too simple an explanation. I get they don't want to overwhelm the president, but they need to at least try to convey how fucked up this cosmic turkey is.

Whereas the Avengers are intent on stopping it, the X-men have other ideas. After they're done letting Hope cool off, Cyclops has a little chat with Magneto, Emma, Namor, and Colossus. The presence of the Phoenix Force is not to be taken lightly and it's fucked them up in so many ways every time it's come into their lives. However, Cyclops still feels like it's worth taking a risk to assume that the Phoenix is key to undoing the shit done by M-Day. He would be in a position to know. He married the last vessel for the Phoenix so he damn well better know her power as well as he knows Jean's pussy. Yet the notion of using the Phoenix to fix a reality-warping event doesn't sit well even with Magneto, who's usually all for flexing mutant powers like a giant dick. Some may see this as another example of Cyclops being a douche. I think he's not wrong to see the Phoenix as a potential source for rebirth rather than destruction. It's just what the mutant race needs, yet knowing what it did to his wife he should at least have some reservations. Especially if it means Emma reminding him about how she doesn't like redheads that attract cosmic forces because they have a tendency to want to kill her.

They don't get to argue for very long about how their method for using the Phoenix to kick start the mutant race. Captain America arrives on Utopia to confront Cyclops. It starts off civil at first, but it doesn't stay civil. Captain America makes clear that they need to protect the world from the Phoenix and to do that they need to take Hope into custody. Cyclops makes clear that he's not having it. Hope belongs on Utopia. Moreover, the Phoenix may need her to be the savior to the mutant race. Cap is being reasonable. Cyclops is reaffirming that he believes without question that Hope will save mutant kind. Granted, blind faith rarely leads to much good. Just ask any woman that lived under the Taliban. But he makes another good point in saying that the Avengers haven't really done shit for mutants since they became endangered. It's only now when they want to take away their best hope for salvation that they're actually giving a damn.

The tension is apparent. These are both men who are as dedicated as their are ballsy. They have to be when one of them is fucking Emma Frost. It reminds me somewhat of the argument between Cyclops and Wolverine during Schism. They didn't just start beating each other up. There was an honest debate that led to the divide. That debate wasn't as drawn out here, but given how many preludes this series had they can't say much more than they've already said. So when Captain America tells Cyclops that the Avengers taking Hope into custody wasn't a friendly request it happens. Cyclops fires the first shot in the battle between the Avengers vs. the X-men. NOW shit can start to get heavy!

Again, the anti-Cyclops crowd may use this scene to call him a dick again. They could argue he's jumped the gun and just went ape-shit on the Avengers when there was probably a chance that they could have worked together. Well, that might be valid if the shit in X-Sanction didn't happen. Remember that story that only ended a few weeks ago? In that story, Cable revealed to Cyclops that it was because the Avengers took Hope into custody that the whole fucking world got burnt to a crisp. So in addition to not wanting to give up the mutant messiah, he has an entire future to prevent. I know I'm just an impartial drunk here, but that shit is worth striking the first blow against Captain freakin' America.

But Captain America isn't naive enough to come without backup. He shows that he can be a dick as well. He didn't just bring some of his buddies to Utopia to make Cyclops a Godfather style offer. He brought the entire SHIELD Helicarrier with him, fully stocked with the Avengers. That's like showing up at a diplomatic meeting in a nuclear powered tank with a million man army behind you. It sends the wrong message and the X-men receive that message loud and clear. The battle between the X-men and the Avengers is set to begin. The battle lines have been drawn and the shit can finally go down. Unfortunately, we have to wait until the next issue to see some blood. Oh well! That's nothing a few shots of potent heroin can't fix!

So it's here, it's coming, and it's going to be messier than Peter North's bedspread. I admit I was pretty worried after the disappointed showing in Avengers vs. X-men #0. That small part of me that often tells me I can fly off bridges while stoned was also telling me that this event was going to fall flat on it's face like Ryan Leaf's NFL career. But that didn't happen. This issue didn't attempt to just jump right into the Avengers vs. X-men brawl, which is a good thing even if you were hoping to see four pages of Captain America and Cyclops beating the shit out of each other. This issue took time to tie in the events of Point One and establish the threat. Even readers that don't know shit about the Phoenix Force (although let's face it, if you know anything about Marvel or have an internet connection you have no excuse not to know why this cosmic parrot is bad news) can follow along.

The problem I see this issue creating, however, has to do with the rampant anti-Cyclops crowd out there. You know who you are. Don't bother whining at me. I can't help it if you hate somebody who is leader of his own country and is regularly sticking it to Emma Frost. He was portrayed as too much of a dick at times, but if you know what happened in X-Sanction or Avengers vs. X-men #0 you understand why he's being this harsh. The same can be said for his willingness to blast Captain America when he kindly yet menacingly asks him to hand over the mutant messiah that is supposed to be the last salvation for the mutant race. Is Cyclops still a dick? Yeah, he is to a point. However, there's a context here and I don't think that context was adequately revealed.

Perhaps that's part of what makes this issue extra special. It actually makes those preludes I complained about earlier more relevant. If you hadn't read about the events Cyclops and Hope were involved in during Avengers vs. X-men #0 or X-Sanction then you probably would just think Cyclops is being a massive dick towards Hope. If you haven't been following Hope's story since Second Coming, you wouldn't know what a volatile and immature brat she's been. This issue showed how all those events have led to a boiling point of sorts. Now it doesn't excuse for the poor quality of Avengers vs. X-men #0, but it does add some very important context that I know will be lost on some people. It actually gives a reason for Cyclops to do what he did with Hope and Captain America. It also gives Captain America a reason to do what he did in being about as diplomatic as a North Korean envoy. Those reasons are important and if some readers use this as an excuse to bitch and moan, then they have no excuse and I have no sympathy for them.

Avengers vs. X-men #1 brought for me equal amounts of thrills and relief. My heart could finally stop pounding in my chest out of worry that the poor showing in Avengers vs. X-men #0 was going to hurt Avengers vs. X-men #1 (or maybe that's just the meth). Marvel has overhyped big events before and this is by far the biggest event they've had since Civil War. This shit is going to unfold over the course of six months, 12 issues, and a fuck-ton of tie-ins. You couldn't get much bigger if you fueled it entirely with Donald Trump's ego. One issue in and everything is smooth so far. This issue was coherent, setting up both the Avengers and the X-men as adversaries while also showing that the threat posed by the Phoenix is something worth shitting your pants over. As far as first issue goes, this is a good template on how to do it right. Only minor characterization issues keep it from being perfect. That's why I give Avengers vs. X-men #1 a 4.5 out of 5. So the Phoenix is on it's way and the X-men and Avengers are going to beat the living shit out of each other in a desperate effort to do what they think will prevent them from becoming a giant cosmic bar-be-que. I've got my popcorn, my weed, and several bags of Doritos. I'm ready, motherfucker! Let's get ready to rumble and fight over a bratty redhead! Nuff said.

Ultimate Spider-Man and Avengers Earth's Mightiest Heroes - First Impressions

For times in the year when there's no football on Sunday's, I consider that akin to going into a strip club where the girls don't wear thongs. You just can't have one without the other and still have it be awesome. I try to fill the void, but there's only so much blow I can snort. Thankfully, I'm not too brain damaged to get no pleasure out of watching cartoons. Sometimes I don't even need weed to enjoy them. It's true. I do watch cartoons and I'm damn proud of it! Marvel cartoons have always been near and dear to my heart. I still remember the golden years of the 90s when the Soviet Union fell, ecstasy was still readily available, and Marvel was pumping out awesome shit with the Spider-Man and X-men cartoon. Since then, we elected Bush twice and shit's been pretty inconsistent. There have been a few gems like Wolverine and the X-men and X-men Evolution. Other than that, DC has been kicking Marvel's ass with Justice League, The Batman, and most recently Young Justice. I've been waiting eagerly with my best weed at hand for Marvel to finally churn out some quality toons. They finally delivered last year with the premier of Avengers Earth's Mightiest Heroes. But that was in the same mold as the X-men cartoons in that they were limited, singular, and potentially forgettable. What made the 90s so awesome was that it was an entire fucking universe. One show just isn't enough. Avengers needed a complementary show to feel complete. That's where Ultimate Spider-Man comes in. And no, I'm not talking about that shitty comic with Miles fucking Morales. I'm talking about a real fucking cartoon with Peter fucking Parker behind the mask and Stan fucking Lee doing guest shots. That's a lot of fucking awesome and it's taken a long ass time to get here, but it's finally here and I can offer my drunken assessment!

Stan "the fucking Man" Lee. Nuff said!

Ultimate Spider-Man debuted on Sunday, April Fools Day, and it was no fucking joke...at first. It was part of Disney's new animation block. They spent many a coin purchasing Marvel. Now they're ready to start mixing and matching the same way Snooki does with various body fluids. Only with Ultimate Spider-Man, the resulting offspring isn't the potential anti-Christ. The show takes various elements of the comics and mashes them together in hopes of creating the ultimate Spider-Man experience. It's not like Spectacular, a show based more on the shitty premise that everyone has fucking huge pupils and lawyers prevent any other Marvel properties from showing up. The very first scene of Ultimate Spider-Man shows that this Spider-Man is part of a bigger Marvel Universe. After taking down Trapster (and making a big fucking mess in the process), Spidy is confronted by Nick Fury (the Sam Jackson type and not the David Hasselhoff type) and is told he's a punk renegade who doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. And you know what? He's right. This show begins with Peter having been Spider-Man for a whole year and he's still making a mess every time he takes down a bad guy. So Fury offers to train him to be the "Ultimate" Spider-Man. Doesn't that just fit as perfectly as a bag of weed in Snoop Dogg's couch cushion?

Look at the mess you made! Russian rock bands are cleaner than you!

The first two episodes are really sort of an initiation for Peter Parker. One year in and his inexperience finally catches up with him. He has to contend with villains who tracked him to where he goes to school and assholes like Norman Osborne who are intent on copyrighting his powers and making it into a private army for neo-conservatives. Can you think of anything more evil? So Nick Fury doesn't just set him up with SHIELD training and some kick-ass gadgets that include a fucking motorcycle. He also puts him on a team of other young heroes that include White Tiger, Nova, Power Man (Luke Cage), and Iron Fist. All are also teenage heroes and Fury seems to think that Peter can lead them. Because putting a kid who knows the value of responsibility in charge of teenagers who are inherently responsible makes as much sense in the Marvel universe as it does any.

It's a great premise and one that opens the door to so many possibilities. This isn't that lame ass Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends crap. This is Peter Parker being thrust into a role he hasn't been in for pretty much every other cartoon. That, and his pupils are normal sized. Sorry Spectacular Spider-Man fans, but I just can't reinforce that point enough. It isn't just him that's taking on a larger role. Other Marvel characters like Nick Fury and Agent Coulson (yes, that Agent Coulson) play a part.

Agent Coulson. So awesome he needs to be real AND animated.

Ultimate Spider-Man's debut was pretty awesome...to a point. There was one aspect of the new cartoon that kept it from being the kind of cartoon that blow testicles out of scrotums. It has to do with the shitty 4th wall breaking gimmick that is done throughout the show. It's not like in past Spider-Man cartoons where Peter has all these internal monologues or narrates. This is Family Guy style 4th wall breaking that's twisted, incoherent, and is about as funny as pissing on a dumpster. It takes away from the more serious themes of the show. I get that it's a kids show, but so are all the Spider-Man cartoons and they didn't need this 4th wall breaking shit to be funny. They actually told decent jokes and memorable stories. I'm sorry, but random flashbacks to a Mexcian hat wearing Spider-Man just makes this shit too hard to take seriously. And this comes from a guy who can get stoned and laugh at C-SPAN.

Now I get what Marvel is trying to do. They want Ultimate Spider-Man to be light-hearted and funny. But this 4th wall breaking shit is just distracting. It makes for a great episode of Family Guy where plots can revolve entirely around fat men fighting giant chickens. For a show about great power and great responsibility, it really doesn't work quite as well. It's better than Spectacular, but it shoots itself in the foot for trying too hard to be funny. Ask Andy Dick how that's working out and then tell me that shit's a good idea.

This isn't even funny in Mexico.

In addition to Ultimate Spider-Man, the new season of Avengers Earth Mightiest heroes debuted. Now this is a cartoon that was already established and didn't need any 4th wall breaking bullshit to be awesome. It's a show that already set a high standard of awesome last year and now that it has some Marvel competition, it has to step up it's game. And like Paris Hilton at a dick sucking contest, it succeeds!

The second season of Avengers sets up shortly after the events of the last season. The Avengers saved the world, thwarted Loki, and earned the right to claim their dicks are bigger than everyone else's. However, the last scene ended on a cliffhanger of sorts. The Skrulls showed up and hinted at the beginnings of a Secret Invasion style infiltration. Well the first episode doesn't really get into that...at first. It starts by exploring the larger corners of the Marvel animated universe by bringing the Fantastic Four into the mix. And for once it's not for an elaborate mission to save the world. It's for a simple game of poker.

If only they had invited Black Widow and Emma Frost to play strip poker. Maybe for Season 3?

It quickly becomes a typical super-hero mash-up when Dr. Doom decides to launch a simultaneous attack on the Avengers mansion and the Baxter Building. Why? He's fucking Dr. Doom! He doesn't need a reason. He manages to abduct Wasp and Sue Storm, forcing the Avengers and the Fantastic Four to venture to Castle Doom to rescue them. It ends up being a one-sided battle with Doom beating their asses with the kind of ease reserved for Peyton Manning when he plays the Cleveland Browns. He could have easily killed them all, but he doesn't. Why? Well remember that whole Skrull issue? Well it turns out he abducted Sue and Wasp to check and see if they were Skrulls. Was he right? For once, I'm not drunk enough to spill the details! See for yourself! The show really is that awesome.

So in the end, Avengers still maintains the high bar of awesome. Despite all the hype surrounding Ultimate Spider-Man, it still falls short because it insists on being cooky with the 4th wall breaking rather than focus on actually telling awesome stories. Even so, the two shows make for the kind of awesome Marvel animation block that we haven't seen since Clinton was getting blowjobs by cute interns. This is just what Sundays need to not be boring again until football season starts up! For that, Marvel has my gratitude and even more of my money! Thank you, Marvel! I owe all you guys a round of drinks, but I have to warn you. I know a guy who mixes a drink called the Ultimate (Liver) Nullifier. Not for the faint of heart!

Dr. Doom says your Sunday mornings belong to Marvel!

Uncanny X-Force #23 - Time Twisting Awesome

Ever since Uncanny X-Force came out, it has set itself apart by not being afraid to do the kind of twisted shit you wouldn't think to put in a story before your forth shot of tequila. This isn't the kind of series where the X-men make public service announcements on the importance of staying in school, wearing a condom, and not mixing booze and cocaine. This is the kind of series where the X-men's less reputable characters ban together and do the shit that the other X-men aren't willing to do, either because of personal objections or a weak stomach. It has led them to fight battles in Tabula Rasa, the moon, and the World. It's made for some pretty amazing scenery right out of the mind of someone on a kick-ass acid trip. The scenery in the latest Otherworld arc has been no less mind-bending.

The first arc since the Dark Angel Saga has had a lot to live up to. After an event so awesome, it's like trying to fuck a supermodel that just got double teamed by George Clooney and Brad Pitt. The Otherworld arc has taken so many twisted turns that it could qualify as a contortionist in the next London Olympics. It has brought Psylocke's family including Captain Britain into the fold. It has introduced an army of fanciful creatures that would give Lord of the Ring fans more than their share of boners. It started as a recruitment effort for Captain Britain to get Psylocke involved while also putting Fantomex on trial for killing kid Apocalypse. It quickly turned into an epic war of mystical mayhem led by a guy named Goat Head. Want to guess what he looks like?

The battle has reached a fevered pitch. Wolverine, Deadpool, and AOA Nightcrawler have joined the fight in their efforts to rescue Fantomex and Psylocke. This was complicated when Fantomex's old buddy, Weapon III, showed up and fucked his shit up by ripping off his face. No, I haven't taken one too many shrooms. That shit actually happened. Something's gotta give and Uncanny X-Force #23 marks the last issue of this acid-tripping arc. It starts with a few flashbacks (which I suppose can happen on acid) that show Psylocke and her brother in the early days before they started running around in spandex. The complications become readily apparent when the present struggle with Goat Head continues to unfold. He demonstrates plenty of firepower in taking down Wolverine and Deadpool. It may sound like a shoddy transition that I've been known to criticize in the past, but be patient grasshopper. You'll see why it makes sense later on.

Goat Head is giving Wolverine and Deadpool many additional reasons to hate Otherworld and place this on their do-not-travel-to-unless-piss-faced-drunk list. However, AOA Nightcrawler is finding other reasons to make this his new vacation spot. In the last issue he met up with Meggan Braddock, who 616 Kurt used to team up with and occasionally flirt with during his Excalibur days. Meggan makes it clear during their battle against Goat Head's armies that her panties never quite dried up for him. This leads AOA Nightcrawler to attempt to cop a feel. Captain Britain certainly doesn't appreciate this. You may consider it a dick move, but be honest. If you ventured to an alternate reality where Jessica Alba was your wife you would want to take advantage of that, wouldn't you?

The battles with Goat Head are as bloody and elaborate as we've come to expect from Rick Remender's blood-soaked imagination. They're entertaining and all, but what about the extra bloody scene from the end of the previous issue? By that I mean the scene where Weapon III ripped Fantomex's fucking face off. Even by Uncanny X-Force standards, that's a pretty fucked up manifestation of Uncanny X-Force's violent themes. But damn it if it isn't sickeningly awesome! Weapon III still has Fantomex and Psylocke in his grasp and like any good sadist, he's not content with just ripping off faces. He wants to torture Fantomex in ways that would require Dick Cheney to get another heart transplant. It's pretty gruesome, but Psylocke has a weak stomach so she's able to put a stop to it. She has to pull a little trick that isn't entirely clear or flashy, but it works.

Now usually Remender is more elaborate when someone pulls a stunt like this. Unless you read the previous issues, it's really not too clear what Psylocke does to subdue Weapon III. Even if it was clear, nothing really happens aside from him letting Fantomex go and falling to the ground like he took one too many hits from some bad weed. In a series that has faces being ripped off, there's no excuse for being that underhanded. Granted, Fantomex gets his face back and the opportunity to appropriately maim his old Weapon X buddy. It just lacks the usual details that make Uncanny X-Force so brutally awesome.

The details are much more apparent as the battle escalates with Captain Britain in the Tower Omniverse. By this point, Goat Head's forces have broken through and are pushing Captain Britain back into the special place that links up all those juicy universes with so many versions of Jessica Alba to hook up with (assuming that's part of Goat Head's plan). Psylocke also discovers (finally) that X-Force has come to rescue them, but they arrived under-equipped and ridiculously outgunned. Goat Head has all the trappings of an overpowered Harry Potter on PCP with all the lovability of brain damaged skunk. It's one of those missions in Uncanny X-Force where you can't be too ethical, not when someone is about to stick their massive goat-dick into multiple universes.

Since Goat Head's power is not going to be matched without paying Dr. Strange overtime, X-Force must do what lazy people do and work smarter instead of harder. Once again, Rick Remender throws in a few bits of deception to keep the readers on their toes or require that they get better weed. Goat Head's power trip is abruptly halted when two high-powered lords of Otherworld, Merlyn and Roma, show up. Apparently in Otherworld, flexing too much power is like walking down the streets naked and randomly waving your dick in everyone's faces. It's frowned up on and it'll get your ass arrested and pepper sprayed. Goat Head finally trembles a bit, but being the determined tyrant he is he quickly finds out that Merlyn and Roma aren't real. They're actually Psylocke and Fantomex, courtesy of Fantomex's deceptive powers. This only pisses Goat Head off even more, as if he wasn't pissed enough for having a goat head that won't get him laid outside of a Furry convention. He decides to take a more hands-on approach to fucking up the universe, but in breaking Fantomex's deception he made his mind vulnerable just long enough for Psylocke to uncover a few secrets. From these secrets, Rick Remender throws in another twist that not only fills in a few major blanks but sets the stage for another intensely emotional climax that doesn't require a full box of tissues.

To this point we don't know much about Goat Head other than he's ugly as hell and thinks he has a right to fuck up the omniverse. You can just easily assume he's one of those inhuman monsters that comics love to use as a metaphor for Nazis, communists, and republicans. But it's not quite that simple. In scanning Goat Head's mind, Psylocke finds out that Goat Head is actually Jamie Braddock from the future. It turns out Jamie tried to take a few too many shortcuts on the path to enlightenment and decided to make a deal with Horoam'ce, a Mephisto-like creature that loves to screw people over when they're desperate. And the only way to stop Goat Head from infecting other universes like a bad case of the clap, he needs to kill Jamie.

This is the kind of emotional twist that has made Uncanny X-Force so gripping. It's not enough to just throw in enemies that need to be killed. Rick Remender has done a great job of giving it a personal touch. The Dark Angel Saga was so compelling because it required X-Force to take on a friend that turned evil. This time they have to turn on someone who is going to become evil. And once again, it's one of Psylocke's loved ones. The girl just can't catch a break! First she loses her lover and now she's gotta sacrifice a family member to prevent the universe from getting gang banged. This girl needs to get laid and a long vacation.

In a moment that had much of the same emotional depth as the end of the Dark Angel Saga, Psylocke tries to convince her brother to kill Jamie. He refuses to do so, but in refusing he allows millions within countless universes to perish because of Goat Head's bullshit. When it's clear he won't do the deed, Psylocke does what X-Force does best and gets their hands dirty. Using her telepathy, she takes control of her brother's mind and has him snap Jamie Braddock's neck. This effectively ends Goat Head's bullshit while demonstrating the most brutal form of the stop-hitting-yourself trick that every sibling has endured at some point in their lives. For any of us that has a love/hate relationship with their siblings, this moment should hit you in all the right ways without making your balls hurt.

The battle is over in a flash. Goat Head doesn't exist and neither does his threat. Psylocke meets up with X-Force who in turn meet up with Captain Britain. It's more than just an awkward moment. Psylocke takes full responsibility, just as she did in the Dark Angel Saga. She effectively ensures she'll never have a place by her brother's side and probably won't get invited back for the holidays anytime soon. It's a very tough sacrifice, but one that was necessary in order to keep the omniverse intact. It's definitely one of those morally ambiguous moments that would prompt Dr. House to swallow another helping of Vicodin and one that leaves Psylocke in a very difficult position.

Like other arcs before it, this ends on somewhat of a down note. The first arc ended with a kid getting shot in the head. The last arc ended with Angel effectively dying and having no memory of who he was. Now this arc ends with a similar sacrifice. It's the kind of moment that strikes to the heart of Uncanny X-Force. These are the kinds of decisions that the regular X-men can't and probably shouldn't make. A lot of fanciful shit had to happen to get to this point, yet Rick Remender found a way for it to all come together. By the end my head was spinning in more wonderful ways than it was the last time I passed out in a Tijuana brothel.

As someone who has had his share of fanciful hallucinations, I have a strong appreciation for stories of a fanciful nature. Otherworld has been a confusing arc at times that has brought X-Force into a world that is more difficult to follow than Mitt Romney's campaign platform. Rick Remender has always done a good job of putting X-Force into some pretty fucked up environments and having it remain coherent as blood starts flowing and bones start breaking. This was one instance where such a feat simply cannot be accomplished without breaking a few laws of physics. At times it's not clear what's going on or even where this shit is going down. However, Remender still managed to tie it together in the end with this issue. It's yet another reminder that he knows his shit and he'll use it to blow your mind while pleasuring your girl behind your back.

This issue didn't just play up the fanciful elements. It put a very emotional twist on the action, especially with Psylocke. It's this added emotion that makes this comic more meaningful than a simple series about X-men that aren't afraid to kill. It further reinforces the need for a team like X-Force that is capable of doing shit like this when it needs to be done. The potential for an emotional struggle was already there in the beginning when Psylocke confronted her brother. This issue fully realized it in a way that was immensely satisfying. Even if you were lost with all the mystical shit surrounding Otherworld, you still felt the emotional impact at the end and that's what makes this issue and this arc awesome.

When scoring this issue and this arc, it's hard not to hold it up to the same standards set by the Dark Angel Saga. Now I admit that's not entirely fair. Otherworld wasn't billed as nearly as big an event as Dark Angel Saga, but it's hard not to have that in mind when assessing the merits of this story. I don't like grading on a curve and I do my best to judge each issue on it's own merits. Thankfully, this is one issue where I don't need to set a curve. Otherworld may not be on the same scale as the Dark Angel Saga, but it definitely meets the high standards set by Uncanny X-Force. Aside from the fight against Weapon III, this issue was as top notch as one could hope for. That's why I give Uncanny X-Force #23 a 4.5 out of 5. Once again, Rick Remender has made his point clear. If you want an X-men series that will tug at your heart strings while making you want to throw up at times, this is the comic for you! Nuff said!