Personal Connections and Alien Invaders: X-men: Gold Annual #1

The following is my review of X-men: Gold Annual #1, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

The greatness of a character is often proportional to the amount of connections they make over the course of their history. No character ever becomes great just by hanging out with a handful of people and never really interacting with anyone else. Even The Three Stooges make an effort to connect with others in between slap-stick humor and casual violence. In the Marvel universe, connections are hard to keep up with, but some find ways to create their own elaborate web of friends, enemies, and frenemies over the course of their narrative.

While some, namely Wolverine and Spider-Man, end up sleeping with too large a portion of their connections, others manage to expand their web in a variety of ways. With respect to the X-men, few characters network better than Kitty Pryde. Even though she isn't among the original five X-men and had a lot of catching up to do after her debut during Chris Claremont's iconic run, she somehow finds a way to establish herself in every superhero social circle she's in.

Some of it comes from her natural charisma. Some of it comes from her tough, yet likable attitude. Having a pet dragon probably doesn't hurt either. Since taking on a leadership role in X-men: Gold, Kitty Pryde is often in a position to reconnect with old friends and forge new ones. It has already helped her rekindle things with Colossus, a relationship that is still a developing part of the narrative in X-men: Gold. It also gives her more opportunities to reach out to older connections, which she does in X-men: Gold Annual #1.

Marc Guggenheim and Leah Williams work together in an singular, extra-sized story that puts Kitty and her gold team back in touch with the likes of Captain Britain and the Braddock family. It's a connection that she hasn't explored in quite some time, but the story makes clear that the connection remains as strong as ever. Like old friends getting together after life gets in the way, the reunion feels real and genuine. The only difference with the X-men is that life getting in the way often takes the form of superhero civil wars.

The circumstances surrounding the reunion aren't elaborate or contrived. In fact, it adds to the overall realness of the reunion because it involves Brian and Meggan announcing that they've had a baby. Even though the circumstances with such major life events take on some twisted quirks, which is all too common with the X-men, it's still one of those unique moments that feels personal. It only becomes more fanciful when aliens attack.

While that may seem contrived in most other narratives, it's downright inane in an X-men comic. The only way to make it seem meaningful is to give an alien attack some context and that's what Guggenheim and Williams attempt to do in X-men: Gold Annual #1. The attack isn't entirely random, nor is it impersonal either. It actually involves the D'Bari, an alien race with strong, albeit antagonistic, personal connection with Rachel Grey and the entire Grey bloodline. Those familiar with the events of the original Phoenix Saga don't need much context as to why that animosity exists.

Even those unfamiliar with such classic moments in X-men lore won't be too lost because the story makes it a point to establish some emotional stakes, alongside the connections. The angry D'Bari involved, Starhammer, has a valid reason and an understandable motivation for dropping in on Rachel, the X-men, and the Braddock family. That motivation gives the conflict that unfolds some dramatic weight. It's not overly elaborate, but there are personal undertones, which is critical in making any generic alien attack more interesting.

While the connections and the context are there, the depth is somewhat lacking. There's actually more story built into Kitty Pryde, Rachel, and Nightcrawler catching up with Meggan and Brian than there is with the fight against Starhammer. This isn't necessarily a bad thing because those moments make for some of the most meaningful interactions in the story. They're cute, they're heartfelt, and they're even pretty funny at times, which is entirely appropriate when adults gush over a new baby.

However, those moments aren't necessarily balanced or complemented by the conflict that unfolds with Starhammer. If anything, it comes off as detached. It just interrupts Kitty, Rachel, and Nightcrawler's efforts to catch up with old friends and nothing more than that. Even with the personal connections there, the narrative does little to expand or enhance on them. It doesn't undermine them either, but that still results in a great deal of untapped potential.

Some of that lost potential is a byproduct of the pace. While there is plenty of time allotted to exploring the newly-expanded Braddock family, the battle against Starhammer comes off as rushed or condensed. It never gets a chance to be dramatic or epic. For conflict built around a very personal moment that spun out of a very iconic X-men story, it feels like a missed opportunity.

That doesn't stop the resolution from being fitting. Rushed or not, the way in which the X-men and the Braddock family resolve the conflict is very much in keeping with the traditions of both the X-men and Excalibur. The story doesn't try to reinvent or subvert these themes. It just doesn't provide enough depth to make the resolution more memorable.

Despite this, X-men: Gold Annual #1 never feels like an incomplete or empty story. True to the tradition of annuals, it offers a simple, self-contained narrative that leaves no loose ends or unanswered questions. It doesn't attempt to be bigger than it needs to be. It just offers a simple narrative built around strong personal connections. The fact that it somehow manages to squeeze in an alien attack is almost secondary.


Final Score: 6 out of 10

Uncanny X-Force #23 - Time Twisting Awesome

Ever since Uncanny X-Force came out, it has set itself apart by not being afraid to do the kind of twisted shit you wouldn't think to put in a story before your forth shot of tequila. This isn't the kind of series where the X-men make public service announcements on the importance of staying in school, wearing a condom, and not mixing booze and cocaine. This is the kind of series where the X-men's less reputable characters ban together and do the shit that the other X-men aren't willing to do, either because of personal objections or a weak stomach. It has led them to fight battles in Tabula Rasa, the moon, and the World. It's made for some pretty amazing scenery right out of the mind of someone on a kick-ass acid trip. The scenery in the latest Otherworld arc has been no less mind-bending.

The first arc since the Dark Angel Saga has had a lot to live up to. After an event so awesome, it's like trying to fuck a supermodel that just got double teamed by George Clooney and Brad Pitt. The Otherworld arc has taken so many twisted turns that it could qualify as a contortionist in the next London Olympics. It has brought Psylocke's family including Captain Britain into the fold. It has introduced an army of fanciful creatures that would give Lord of the Ring fans more than their share of boners. It started as a recruitment effort for Captain Britain to get Psylocke involved while also putting Fantomex on trial for killing kid Apocalypse. It quickly turned into an epic war of mystical mayhem led by a guy named Goat Head. Want to guess what he looks like?

The battle has reached a fevered pitch. Wolverine, Deadpool, and AOA Nightcrawler have joined the fight in their efforts to rescue Fantomex and Psylocke. This was complicated when Fantomex's old buddy, Weapon III, showed up and fucked his shit up by ripping off his face. No, I haven't taken one too many shrooms. That shit actually happened. Something's gotta give and Uncanny X-Force #23 marks the last issue of this acid-tripping arc. It starts with a few flashbacks (which I suppose can happen on acid) that show Psylocke and her brother in the early days before they started running around in spandex. The complications become readily apparent when the present struggle with Goat Head continues to unfold. He demonstrates plenty of firepower in taking down Wolverine and Deadpool. It may sound like a shoddy transition that I've been known to criticize in the past, but be patient grasshopper. You'll see why it makes sense later on.

Goat Head is giving Wolverine and Deadpool many additional reasons to hate Otherworld and place this on their do-not-travel-to-unless-piss-faced-drunk list. However, AOA Nightcrawler is finding other reasons to make this his new vacation spot. In the last issue he met up with Meggan Braddock, who 616 Kurt used to team up with and occasionally flirt with during his Excalibur days. Meggan makes it clear during their battle against Goat Head's armies that her panties never quite dried up for him. This leads AOA Nightcrawler to attempt to cop a feel. Captain Britain certainly doesn't appreciate this. You may consider it a dick move, but be honest. If you ventured to an alternate reality where Jessica Alba was your wife you would want to take advantage of that, wouldn't you?

The battles with Goat Head are as bloody and elaborate as we've come to expect from Rick Remender's blood-soaked imagination. They're entertaining and all, but what about the extra bloody scene from the end of the previous issue? By that I mean the scene where Weapon III ripped Fantomex's fucking face off. Even by Uncanny X-Force standards, that's a pretty fucked up manifestation of Uncanny X-Force's violent themes. But damn it if it isn't sickeningly awesome! Weapon III still has Fantomex and Psylocke in his grasp and like any good sadist, he's not content with just ripping off faces. He wants to torture Fantomex in ways that would require Dick Cheney to get another heart transplant. It's pretty gruesome, but Psylocke has a weak stomach so she's able to put a stop to it. She has to pull a little trick that isn't entirely clear or flashy, but it works.

Now usually Remender is more elaborate when someone pulls a stunt like this. Unless you read the previous issues, it's really not too clear what Psylocke does to subdue Weapon III. Even if it was clear, nothing really happens aside from him letting Fantomex go and falling to the ground like he took one too many hits from some bad weed. In a series that has faces being ripped off, there's no excuse for being that underhanded. Granted, Fantomex gets his face back and the opportunity to appropriately maim his old Weapon X buddy. It just lacks the usual details that make Uncanny X-Force so brutally awesome.

The details are much more apparent as the battle escalates with Captain Britain in the Tower Omniverse. By this point, Goat Head's forces have broken through and are pushing Captain Britain back into the special place that links up all those juicy universes with so many versions of Jessica Alba to hook up with (assuming that's part of Goat Head's plan). Psylocke also discovers (finally) that X-Force has come to rescue them, but they arrived under-equipped and ridiculously outgunned. Goat Head has all the trappings of an overpowered Harry Potter on PCP with all the lovability of brain damaged skunk. It's one of those missions in Uncanny X-Force where you can't be too ethical, not when someone is about to stick their massive goat-dick into multiple universes.

Since Goat Head's power is not going to be matched without paying Dr. Strange overtime, X-Force must do what lazy people do and work smarter instead of harder. Once again, Rick Remender throws in a few bits of deception to keep the readers on their toes or require that they get better weed. Goat Head's power trip is abruptly halted when two high-powered lords of Otherworld, Merlyn and Roma, show up. Apparently in Otherworld, flexing too much power is like walking down the streets naked and randomly waving your dick in everyone's faces. It's frowned up on and it'll get your ass arrested and pepper sprayed. Goat Head finally trembles a bit, but being the determined tyrant he is he quickly finds out that Merlyn and Roma aren't real. They're actually Psylocke and Fantomex, courtesy of Fantomex's deceptive powers. This only pisses Goat Head off even more, as if he wasn't pissed enough for having a goat head that won't get him laid outside of a Furry convention. He decides to take a more hands-on approach to fucking up the universe, but in breaking Fantomex's deception he made his mind vulnerable just long enough for Psylocke to uncover a few secrets. From these secrets, Rick Remender throws in another twist that not only fills in a few major blanks but sets the stage for another intensely emotional climax that doesn't require a full box of tissues.

To this point we don't know much about Goat Head other than he's ugly as hell and thinks he has a right to fuck up the omniverse. You can just easily assume he's one of those inhuman monsters that comics love to use as a metaphor for Nazis, communists, and republicans. But it's not quite that simple. In scanning Goat Head's mind, Psylocke finds out that Goat Head is actually Jamie Braddock from the future. It turns out Jamie tried to take a few too many shortcuts on the path to enlightenment and decided to make a deal with Horoam'ce, a Mephisto-like creature that loves to screw people over when they're desperate. And the only way to stop Goat Head from infecting other universes like a bad case of the clap, he needs to kill Jamie.

This is the kind of emotional twist that has made Uncanny X-Force so gripping. It's not enough to just throw in enemies that need to be killed. Rick Remender has done a great job of giving it a personal touch. The Dark Angel Saga was so compelling because it required X-Force to take on a friend that turned evil. This time they have to turn on someone who is going to become evil. And once again, it's one of Psylocke's loved ones. The girl just can't catch a break! First she loses her lover and now she's gotta sacrifice a family member to prevent the universe from getting gang banged. This girl needs to get laid and a long vacation.

In a moment that had much of the same emotional depth as the end of the Dark Angel Saga, Psylocke tries to convince her brother to kill Jamie. He refuses to do so, but in refusing he allows millions within countless universes to perish because of Goat Head's bullshit. When it's clear he won't do the deed, Psylocke does what X-Force does best and gets their hands dirty. Using her telepathy, she takes control of her brother's mind and has him snap Jamie Braddock's neck. This effectively ends Goat Head's bullshit while demonstrating the most brutal form of the stop-hitting-yourself trick that every sibling has endured at some point in their lives. For any of us that has a love/hate relationship with their siblings, this moment should hit you in all the right ways without making your balls hurt.

The battle is over in a flash. Goat Head doesn't exist and neither does his threat. Psylocke meets up with X-Force who in turn meet up with Captain Britain. It's more than just an awkward moment. Psylocke takes full responsibility, just as she did in the Dark Angel Saga. She effectively ensures she'll never have a place by her brother's side and probably won't get invited back for the holidays anytime soon. It's a very tough sacrifice, but one that was necessary in order to keep the omniverse intact. It's definitely one of those morally ambiguous moments that would prompt Dr. House to swallow another helping of Vicodin and one that leaves Psylocke in a very difficult position.

Like other arcs before it, this ends on somewhat of a down note. The first arc ended with a kid getting shot in the head. The last arc ended with Angel effectively dying and having no memory of who he was. Now this arc ends with a similar sacrifice. It's the kind of moment that strikes to the heart of Uncanny X-Force. These are the kinds of decisions that the regular X-men can't and probably shouldn't make. A lot of fanciful shit had to happen to get to this point, yet Rick Remender found a way for it to all come together. By the end my head was spinning in more wonderful ways than it was the last time I passed out in a Tijuana brothel.

As someone who has had his share of fanciful hallucinations, I have a strong appreciation for stories of a fanciful nature. Otherworld has been a confusing arc at times that has brought X-Force into a world that is more difficult to follow than Mitt Romney's campaign platform. Rick Remender has always done a good job of putting X-Force into some pretty fucked up environments and having it remain coherent as blood starts flowing and bones start breaking. This was one instance where such a feat simply cannot be accomplished without breaking a few laws of physics. At times it's not clear what's going on or even where this shit is going down. However, Remender still managed to tie it together in the end with this issue. It's yet another reminder that he knows his shit and he'll use it to blow your mind while pleasuring your girl behind your back.

This issue didn't just play up the fanciful elements. It put a very emotional twist on the action, especially with Psylocke. It's this added emotion that makes this comic more meaningful than a simple series about X-men that aren't afraid to kill. It further reinforces the need for a team like X-Force that is capable of doing shit like this when it needs to be done. The potential for an emotional struggle was already there in the beginning when Psylocke confronted her brother. This issue fully realized it in a way that was immensely satisfying. Even if you were lost with all the mystical shit surrounding Otherworld, you still felt the emotional impact at the end and that's what makes this issue and this arc awesome.

When scoring this issue and this arc, it's hard not to hold it up to the same standards set by the Dark Angel Saga. Now I admit that's not entirely fair. Otherworld wasn't billed as nearly as big an event as Dark Angel Saga, but it's hard not to have that in mind when assessing the merits of this story. I don't like grading on a curve and I do my best to judge each issue on it's own merits. Thankfully, this is one issue where I don't need to set a curve. Otherworld may not be on the same scale as the Dark Angel Saga, but it definitely meets the high standards set by Uncanny X-Force. Aside from the fight against Weapon III, this issue was as top notch as one could hope for. That's why I give Uncanny X-Force #23 a 4.5 out of 5. Once again, Rick Remender has made his point clear. If you want an X-men series that will tug at your heart strings while making you want to throw up at times, this is the comic for you! Nuff said!

Uncanny X-Force #21 - Wonderland of Awesome

Few things that aren't laced with blow or weed make me happier than seeing a douche-bag get punished. It's the kind of justice that you just don't see in the real world because said douche-bags are CEOs of bangs and reality TV stars. Uncanny X-Force has done a lot of amazing things since Rick Remender birthed it from the entrails of Second Coming. One of those things involve demonstrated just how big a douche-bag Fantomex can be when he's put on a team of killers, one of which is a hot Asian chick that likes to run around in thongs. He's shot a kid in the head, forced a kiss from a woman trying to save her boyfriend, and has generally acted like a snooty French stereotype that could very well cut off all imports of wine and fancy cheese. That's not to say he hasn't had his moments. Despite shooting a kid in the head, he was also behind the creation of Genesis and he was instrumental in stopping Arcangel. But still, some of this douche-baggery can't go unchecked.

This is the story Rick Remender is telling in wake of the Dark Angel Saga. Fantomex has had questionable ethics, even for a team of secret assassins, since the series began. This is what led Psylocke's brother, Brian Braddock, to abduct her and Fantomex into his exotic domain known as Otherworld. I'm sure Charlie Sheen calls the inside of his pants the same thing. But in addition to having an overdue family reunion to discuss the ethics of Psylocke joining a kill squad, Captain Britain puts Fantomex on trial for his crimes. Since Fantomex has the legal skills of stoned rabbit, he gets convicted and doesn't even apologize for his crimes. Hell, he even says he would do it again. As someone who is on a first name basis with a number of district judges, I can say without reservation that being a douche and not apologizing will not make you any less vulnerable to prison rape.

Uncanny X-Force #21 picks up right after this sentence has been handed down. Fantomex is in a cell where he's about to get a series of injections into his brain that will render him more brain dead than a Sarah Palin miscarriage. He's still a defiant douche, showing no remorse even as he narrates how the injections start damaging his brains (yes, he has more than one). He gets to a point where he has the mental capacity of that kid in first grade that ate paint chips and snorted paste. He could be reduced to bed-wetting, but luckily for him Psylocke still has a sense of compassion and/or a pussy boner for him. At the end of the last issue she was given a choice to either see this justice through or go against her own family. Since her family is being a bigger douche than Fantomex at the moment, she chooses the lesser of two douches.

While Psylocke has to choose between the worst of two worlds, the rest of X-Force is stuck fighting their way through an army of Lord of the Rings rejects trying to rescue her. They're making less progress than Newt Gingrich did in Florida. Wolverine ends up clashing with a mage-like creature with a goat head armed with something called the orb of Metallum. It may sound like a shitty name for an 80s hair metal band, but it's actually a potent piece of hardware in the sense that it controls metal (ie: Wolverine's adamantium skeleton). This puts him a world of hurt that Uncanny X-Force always tends to make extra gruesome.

Since Deadpool is currently dealing with his latest bout of Severed Head Syndrome, it's up to AOA Nightcrawler to save his sorry ass. That's not as simple a choice as it sounds because if you'll recall, AOA Nightcrawler comes from a world where his Wolverine took on the mantel of Apocalypse and started sodomizing the world with his douche-baggery. So seeing another version of Wolverine suffer is satisfying in the same way it is to see someone from the Jersey Shore get arrested. But he doesn't take too much pleasure from it. He still plays the part of a hero and saves Wolverine, looking pretty damn badass while doing it. He may not be the same Nightcrawler, but fuck if he isn't awesome in his own right.

AOA Nightcrawler's exploits ensure that X-Force remains intact, but they're still on the run. That means they're not in a position to help Psylocke, who is still trying to escape her brother's domain with a brain damaged Fantomex in her grasp. She makes her way towards the dimensional door back to good old 616 Marvel, but then her other douche-bag brother, Jamie Braddock, catches up with her and uses his reality warping powers to stop her. He's understandably confused why she would choose to save this confessed child killer rather than rub elbows with her own family. It's not an unreasonable question even for a comic book, but Psylocke makes clear that they don't know Fantomex and aren't in a position to judge him. Because isn't that what the X-men are about? Not judging people? That and spandex uniforms? Apparently, Jamie doesn't agree and Psylocke has to make a run for it again. All the while Fantomex is still dribbling on like a little boy that just had his sippy cup taken away from him. It's somewhat pathetic, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I enjoyed seeing Fantomex like this after some of the shit he's done.

The situation is worse for the Braddocks than just having a rebellious sister that can't keep her legs closed around dangerous men. Their entire Otherworld realm is still under siege and Psylocke isn't providing the added muscle they hoped. Not only could they not carry out Fantomex's punishment, but they lost Psylocke and the Lord of the Ring reject forces are hot on their trail. Whatever they did to piss them off is so bad that they're willing to cause a reality-warping storm to get back at them. I can be as vindictive as the next drunk, but even I have my limits. If that weren't bad enough, this enemy of theirs has more orbs like the one that sent Wolverine's insides through a blender. It's like giving Kim Jong Ill's son an entire country and nuclear weapons. Wait...okay, bad example.

While the Captain Britain Corps are busy shitting their pants, X-Force continues their trek through this deranged world in search of Psylocke and Fantomex. Plus, they have to keep carrying a headless Deadpool that still won't shut up. I'm pretty sure that qualifies Otherworld as a new circle of Hell. But they actually luck out along the way. They run into Meggan, another one of Captain Britain's cohorts who used to run around with Nightcrawler in her Excalibur days. They must have done plenty of running because she kisses him when she sees him. I'm not sure how AOA Nightcrawler feels about taking advantage of pretty girls that kiss him, but I get the sense he's all for it. She also is in a position to give X-Force some badly needed answers and someone other than Deadpool to listen to.

So let's review for a second. AOA Nightcrawler not only saved Wolverine's sorry ass, but also got a quick smooch from a hot British woman. Regardless of how you feel about using an AU version of a character, it's hard to deny that he's making quite a mark in this issue. He spent most of last issue making it clear he wasn't the same Nightcrawler that Wolverine was friends with. He came off as a bit of a douche at times. But here, still a douche yet still distinctly Nightcrawler. Since he's still new to the team, I'd say this is a damn good first impression.

While they're getting answers, other parts of the story are getting more fucked up. Psylocke escaped with Fantomex, but is in no position to do much since her way home has been cut off by Jamie. So in a somewhat spotty transition she makes her way to some odd temple. How she knows about this place is beyond me and not really explained, but it contains some creature named Krockwel. Now maybe I'm just high right now, but I don't know who the hell Krockwel is or how he can be of much help to Psylocke. She reveals that he was once a servant of Otherworld and she wants his help in healing Fantomex. He doesn't really have much incentive to do so since her family threw his ass out of the Captain Britain Corps. He refuses to help, but Psylocke insists as if failing means she can never wear a thong again. So he makes her a deal. She has to do something big in return if he's to help her. Because nothing bad has ever happened when someone makes a deal with an all powerful creature. Just ask Spider-Man and Mary Jane.

If this sounds a little fucked up, it is. Rick Remender usually doesn't slap random shit together without there being some rhyme to the rhythm. He's not making British punk music here. But while he does make an effort to explain Krockwel, it still feels like it's pieced together with scotch tape at the last second. Between this and the less than smooth transitions between scenes, it's easy to get a little lost at this point in the book. It's one book where you kind of have to lay off the weed in order to follow what's going on. For some, that may defeat the purpose of reading comics, but for Uncanny X-Force it's usually worth it.

We don't even get to see what sort of horrible trade Psylocke has to make in order to save Fantomex. She doesn't have a marriage with Peter Parker to sacrifice so what could it be? Well while she figures that out, more random shit happens back at Captain Britain's stronghold. That same Goat-headed creature that X-Force faced earlier has arrived and brought an army of the undead along with him. Where did the army come from? How is this shit happening so quickly? Probably for the same reason that Psylocke caught up with Krockwel. There is an effort to explain it with Captain Britain identifying the creature as Horoam'ce, but it still feels like Remender is using too much duct tape. Plus, he's using an army of undead warriors to attack. I think we have enough zombie movies to cover shit like that. They seem pretty screwed, but as this is happening Meggan is leading X-Force into the battle. So there's still a chance it won't be completely lopsided.

Cue another spotty transition and we meet up with this Horoam'ce. He's essentially a less ugly form of Jabba the Hut, living it up in a palace/harem of sorts. As this battle is going on, he gets an update about his attack and Psylock's dealings with Krockwel. He seems to be taking it seriously, which makes him slightly smarter than Jabba the Hut. He figures he needs help from someone who has enough burning hatred of the X-men to want to tear reality a few new assholes to hurt them. So he finds it in the form of someone who looks like a much less badass version of Hellboy. I honestly can't determine who it is at the moment. It's another one of those details that was overlooked in this issue. While I'm sure it'll be explained in the next issue as is often the case with Remender, it still leaves this issue feeling incomplete.

As someone who has taken many an acid trip to many exotic locations, I find this world that X-Force has found themselves in to be no worse than the fourth most exotic locale short of the isles of strippers that I visited when I mixed mushrooms with imported Turkish weed. It's so exotic it's easy to get lost at times. That more than anything is the flaw in this issue. It has all the usual Uncanny X-Force elements. There's a big ass fight, some heartfelt drama, and a few severed heads within a dangerous world you won't find outside of Tim Burton's imagination. It just doesn't fit together as well as it usually does. It lacks the usual coherence that Rick Remender adds to most of his quality books. It's hard to follow the plot with Psylocke saving Fantomex from her brother and the rest of X-Force fighting against Mr. Goat Head. There's still a good chance that it'll fit together in the next issue, but as it stands this issue still lacks that feel.

It's still a quality book. This issue had some nice moments on top of the usual high-caliber awesome that Rick Remender has so frequently provided on this title. Most notable is AOA Nightcrawler's contribution to the carnage. In the last issue he made clear that he was not the same holy-man-in-a-demon's-body Nightcrawler that the X-men know and love. In this issue he made clear that despite the differences, he's still every bit the skilled fighter his 616 counterpart was if not more so. He's really establishing himself as a new presence in X-Force, not just relegated to carrying around Deadpool's severed head. Plus, he even got a kiss from a hot chick out of it. I'd call that a win on any level.

Overall, this book is incoherent as a whole, but still solid on all the usual levels. You may be confused by the politics of Otherworld and the subtext of Fantomex's juvenile musings, but you'll still get to enjoy plenty of action and bloodshed. There's magic, talking heads, and family fueds. It's like a family reunion if someone spiked the punch with peyote. It's not filler, but it doesn't feel complete. So while by most standards it's still awesome, by the lofty Uncanny X-Force standards it's a bit sub-par. So with that in mind I give Uncanny X-Force #21 a 4 out of 5. We're right in the middle of that acid trip I mentioned earlier. All the pretty images and talking ink blots are overwhelming at the moment, but eventually they usually mesh together before you start throwing up. If you have a weak stomach, I encourage you to tough it out! Uncanny X-Force is usually worth it. Nuff said!

Uncanny X-Force #20 - With Liberty and Awesome for All

I have a mixed history with the law and justice in general. For the most part, I'm for it. I get a warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of my colon whenever I see a murderer, a child molester, or the head of an investment bank get sentenced to consecutive life terms in prison with the assumption that he'll be someone's bitch. On the flip side, I erupt into uncontrolled rage when policemen with nothing better to do bust me or a buddy for having a bag of weed or stumbling down a street at two in the morning after getting shit faced drunk. I like to think that there's a healthy balance. Superhero comics have always utilized justice as a theme of sorts, righteous or otherwise. Nobody will cough up a lung when a villain gets busted and sent to jail. But when someone that's supposed to be a hero is on trail, that's when shit gets heavy.

Justice is kind of a moot point in a series like Uncanny X-Force. By definition, these guys are breaking the law, no more than two of the Ten Commandments, and probaby making baby Jesus cry at some point. They're lying to their friends, their enemies, and their allies about what they do. They go out in dark uniforms and take care of threats in a way that they can't be very heroic about, which usually involves bloodshed and poop jokes from Deadpool. Justice was hardly an issue during the Dark Angel Saga. When the world is about to go to hell, laying down the law just seems stupid. While this event may be over, the circumstances surrounding it have not been resolved. Since Rick Remender's brain is supercharged by ten nuclear reactors, he continues to explore this theme in the pages of Uncanny X-Force #20.

It's the first issue since the Dark Angel Saga ended and the first issue that's officially part of X-men Regenesis. Forget for a moment that Remender has to follow up a story as awesome as the Dark Angel Saga. Before that story even began, there were still issues. Things like Fantomex killing kid Apocalypse can't exactly be glossed over. There are other outside issues that haven't even come up yet. Issues like how Psylocke can be part of a secret kill squad while her brother, Brian Braddock aka Captain Britain, is a nationally known hero. As is often the case, you can't keep secrets from nosy siblings. They'll find ways to get dirt on you even if they have to hire the CIA. When this comic begins, Psylocke wakes up in her brother's hero pad. It turns out that when Psylocke's powers were expanded in the Dark Angel Saga, that re-established a link to her brother and exposed all her dirty X-Force secrets. Probably exposed what she likes to have done to her with a strap-on too so Brain is probably fucked up enough. In addition, he flat out admits that he abducted her in her sleep so they could address this whole being part of a kill squad ordeal. He argues that her place is with her family and Wolverine and his gang of secret thugs. It sounds almost as unpleasant as when my sister explained to me why I needed to buy her tampons at three in the morning.

But Captain Britain isn't just abducting his sister from some bad influences for her own good. No, that would make too much sense for an overbearing sibling. He brought her to his headquarters because he needs her help. Like a sibling that buys you dinner only so they can ask to borrow your car for the weekend, she lures her into his domain known as the Tower Omniverse. It's dangerously close to being a Green Lantern ripoff, but it doesn't involve tacky jewelry or cliched oaths. Regardless, Captain Britain and his corp of of justice-loving comrades have good reason for getting a high powered telepath. Their corp has been under attack by an army overpowered sociopaths from various realities. It's sort of like a vacation spot for every movie villain in history so while Brian may have good reason for wanting his sister back, it's still a dick move. He somewhat makes up for it by revealing some special tech that would give her back her old body. But that wouldn't mean she wouldn't be a hot Asian chick anymore. That should serve to make Captain Britain worse than Hitler in the eyes of every X-men fan.

While Betsy is having an impromptu family reunion, Wolverine and his X-Force buddies are welcoming their newest member with a Danger Room exercise. One of the other aftermaths of the Dark Angel Saga was that AOA Nightcrawler decided to stay. Not because his world is a shitty wasteland that a super powered tyrant anally raped into desolation, but because some of his AOA buddies decided to set up shop in 616 as well. So he figures it's only proper that he hunt them down and kill them. What better team to help him than X-Force?

However, it's not as bittersweet as you might think. During the course of the training, AOA Nightcrawler demonstrates in a number of gruesome ways that he is NOT the same god-loving Nightcrawler that Wolverine and every other 616 fan knows and loves. This guy is cruel, ruthless, cold, and makes lame James Bond puns. He says outright that he's not there to replace their dead Nightcrawler. He's in 616 to get revenge. It definitely rubs some like Wolverine the wrong way, who on some levels I think is trying to replace Nightcrawler. He even gets on Deadpool's nerves. You know you're a special kind of asshole when you annoy someone like Deadpool.

Despite AOA Nightcrawler's apt for taking a shit on the memory of their fallen friend, he's there to stay. He makes that clear to X-Force and they're not in a position to say no. They need someone to pick up the slack left by Angel being mind-fucked in the Dark Angel Saga. They may end up being down even more because after the Danger Room session, Fantomex's old friend the Ultimaton shows up to inform them that not only has Psylocke been abducted. Fantomex has been abducted as well.

Now why would Captain Britain and his corps go through the trouble of abducting a wannabe French douche-bag in addition to his smoking hot telepathic sister? Well while Psylocke is musing over her brother's offer to get her old body back and join a team that doesn't involve being on a secret kill squad, he also reveals that they took Fantomex to put him on trial. What's his crime? I mean aside from being a douche? He shot a kid in the head in the first arc of Uncanny X-Force. There are a lot of crimes that comics are willing to overlook. Even making a deal with the devil to absolve your marriage seems acceptable. But killing a kid? That just can't go unpunished. So with questionable jurisdiction, Psylocke finds out that her brother's people have put Fantomex in shackles and brought him up to this overblown courtroom that looks like something Judge Judy masturbates to.

If you're a little confused, you're in good company. And it isn't just because we may know the same pot dealer. Rick Remender is usually very good about not pulling shit out of his ass that doesn't stink. This whole bit with Captain Britain and his corps suddenly feeling the need to try Fantomex seems a bit contrived. And even if it's just something he learned about through picking at his sister's thoughts, why use it when he's trying to convince her to join him? It just seems too random on some levels.

On others, however, Rick Remender still shows his usual attention to detail. The trial isn't exactly the OJ Simpson trial. It's actually pretty detailed, going over what happened with the first arc of Uncanny X-Force and digging a little deeper into why Fantomex did what he did. There's actually a bit of commentary here if you're not too high to notice. Fantomex argued that he killed kid Apocalypse because the Akaba Clan had corrupted him. If he hadn't killed him, he would have become the tyrant that enjoys jerking off to images of mass genocide. But this was still a kid. He hadn't done any of that yet. His accusers argue that he was in no position to sentence this boy for shit that he could have done. It's an old legal issue. At what point does prevention clash with logistics? Both sides have a point, but only one side has the authority to determine whose guilty and since Fantomex acts like a dick when discussing his decision, it comes as no surprise when they hand down a guilty verdict. Maybe he should have hired Johnny Cochran.

While justice isn't being served, the rest of X-Force head off to find their missing friends. They use Gateway, a teleporting mutant from Age of Apocalypse, to lock down on Psylocke and Fantomex's signature with help from Ultimaton. It seems simple enough, but they end up running head first and balls out into that swarm of deranged sociopaths that Captain Britain showed Psylocke earlier. They take one step in and Deadpool gets his head chopped off...again. Another bloody X-Force battle ensues. All the while, Fantomex is about to get the kind of justice that's probably only reserved for gay Jewish men in Saudi Arabia. At some point Psylocke has to decide whether her brother's brand of bullshit is worth tolerating. It's something she'll have to decide in the next issue, but as someone who had to deal with siblings who thought they were superheroes by right I can say with confidence that Psylocke is screwed no matter what she chooses.

I always try to have sympathy for writers that have to follow up amazing arcs. Rick Remender is no exception. He put together one of the best X-men arcs in a decade with the Dark Angel Saga. No one should expect him to follow a story like that with something that's on the same level. If you do, then you're an asshole. This issue is not like the issues that made up the Dark Angel Saga. It's not even like the issues that led up to it. Uncanny X-men #20 is built as a shift in the conflict, but it maintains the strong coherence that Remender has set up. Using Fantomex's past douche-baggery and framing it as something that couldn't go unaddressed makes sense. The only problem is that it seems to be ill-timed.

At times, it felt like this issue should have happened before the Dark Angel Saga. That was before X-Force found out that Fantomex was cloning a new Apocalypse and trying to make him somewhat less of a genocidal tyrant. So it doesn't make as much sense to put him on trail now unless they're going to also try him for being a general tool all throughout the Dark Angel Saga. Unfortunately, there's no law against just being a douche-bag in comics.

Never-the-less, this setup does open the door for other compelling plots that also connect to the recent events surrounding the Dark Angel Saga. Wolverine and his X-Force crew learn first hand that AOA Nightcrawler is nothing like the Nightcrawler they know. He makes it clear that he's not in this world to dick around. He wants revenge. He doesn't care for God's love or forgiveness. That shit was the first thing that died in the Age of Apocalypse. In addition, the family dynamics between Psylocke and Captain Britain work well. What brother wouldn't be disturbed if he found out his sister had joined a kill squad and is falling in with the wrong people? Although in my experience, trying to get your sister to join your cause by kidnapping her is just begging for sustained testicular trauma.

Uncanny X-Force #20 is not a bad comic by any stretch. It still has Rick Remender's quality writing and organization. However, in the context of the Dark Angel Saga, it feels like a downgrade. If this issue was released before the events of the Dark Angel Saga, I probably would be inclined to give it a perfect score. But since no X-men comic exists in a vacuum anymore (except bullshit gimmicks like Xenogenesis), it's hard to ignore the circumstances. With this in mind, I give Uncanny X-Force #20 a 4 out of 5. It's still the above average, top grade X-book that X-men fans have come to know, love, and be painfully addicted to. It won't blow your mind like the Dark Angel Saga did, but it should leave you with a mild concussion at the very least. Nuff said!