X-men Legacy #263 - Making A Point (of Awesome)

Whenever I review X-men Legacy, I tend to be too harsh or too easy. I can be harsh because Mike Carey set such a high bar of excellence. It's like trying to go out drinking with Homer Simpson. There's a certain expectation of quality. The quality of a drunk is not unlike the quality of a comic, minus the hangovers and blackouts. It can leave an indelible impact and not just on your liver. X-men Legacy is an X-book with some pretty heavy hitters with characters like Rogue, Rachel Grey, Gambit, and Frenzy. It has no excuses for not meeting that level of quality and at times it does skew my perspective when I assess an issue, but I always try to be honest...honesty being proportional to my booze intake of course.

X-men Legacy is still settling after the events of X-men Regenesis. Rogue, Gambit, Frenzy and the rest of the Legacy crew minus Magneto are adjusting to their roles as the main staff/security guards for the Jean Grey Institute. They've already had to fight off a demon invasion, which in most jobs would have a pretty high turnover. But that's just another day at the office for the Jean Grey institute. In this arc, the Jean Grey Institute has to content with an overly motivated Exodus. In addition to being a mutant with a ridiculous amount of power, Exodus also had way too much free time on his hands. In that time he determined that the mutant race was rowing downstream off a waterfall into an ocean of pure shit. The whole schism that divided the X-men has left the entire mutant race vulnerable and since he's got so much power to go along with his oversized balls, he's going to fix that. First, he tried forcing the Jean Grey Institute to make amends with Cyclops's team. He might as well have tried to get Pat Robertson and Richard Dawkins to get along. When that failed, he figured in his less than infinite wisdom that he was going to kill Cyclops. This forced Wolverine, Rogue, and the rest of the institute staff to chase him down. It only ended up with Exodus kicking their asses again. It looked to be a pretty bloody brawl. Then Hope Summers, the Lights, and some New Mutants showed up and ass fucked the circumstances to a new bloody level.

Now why is this a big fucking deal? Well if you read Schism (and you damn well ought to if you're going to call yourself an X-men fan) you'll know that one of the many things that Cyclops did to piss Wolverine off was to use young mutants in the field of battle. It's not quite as egregious as getting to bone Jean Grey, but it was right up there. The way he saw it, kids shouldn't be in battles against assholes like Exodus. And he has a valid point. Kids should be worrying about school, getting laid, and avoiding negative influences from guys like me. But in the first few pages of X-men Legacy #263, Hope Summers shows that being a mutant and being a kid sort of fucks up that which seems logical. Seeing as how Wolverine's side was getting their asses handed to them by Exodus, a little humility was in order from the fucking mutant messiah.

While Wolverine is pissed once again at Cyclops for reasons that don't involve him sticking it to Jean Grey, it doesn't stop the little mutant messiah that looks like Jean Grey from making a difference early on in the fight against Exodus. It's not clear if she taps a bit of that Phoenix power that's threatening to pit the Avengers against the X-men, but given the level of douche-baggery that Exodus has unleashed it's more than appropriate. But beyond the flare, there's still a debate going on between punches. Wolverine and even Rogue are trying to tell Hope and the kids to pull back, but neither Hope nor her comrades are willing to do so. Hope says that Cyclops and the Extinction team were busy with another extinction event and couldn't bother to be distracted by some wannabe unifier whose last name isn't Obama. So they're stuck working with kids. And while it clearly pisses Wolverine off in ways that only a whiskey shortage could come close to, he and the rest of the Legacy crew have to accept that.

Armed with Hope's messiah-level firepower, they finally start roughing Exodus up in a way that effectively silences him from more shitty preaching. If only Kirk Cameron was so easy to silence. The entire Legacy crew gets involved. Wolverine gets in some stabs. Rogue throws in a some Cannonball fueled body shots. Everyone else surround him like the kid in the playground with the most lunch money and the least amount of muscle mass. What follows is a bombardment of ass-kicking of many different varieties from many different angles. It's a glorious sight and immensely satisfying given how big a douche-bag Exodus has been over the course of the past few issues. The combined efforts of the Legacy crew and Hope's crew effectively shut his ass up like one of Vladamir Putin's political rivals.

As satisfying as this scene is, there is a problem with it. It's too damn short. Don't get me wrong, it has all the flash and flare you want in a big ass fight scene. The problem is that while it looks big, it doesn't feel big. What I mean by that is while characters like Hope, Rogue, and Wolverine all contribute, everyone else does pretty much nothing. Some don't even talk. I get that it's hard to squeeze everyone into the mix, but it really doesn't feel like over half of the characters involved really contributed. The scene could have been drawn out longer. It could have had a few more glorious details, but it didn't. It just ended too quickly before the awesome could be milked from every character. It's a tragedy almost on par with running out of ketchup at a Five Guys.

When the end comes in an all too quick manner, Exodus looks more fucked up than Tom Hanks at the end of Saving Private Ryan. Yet he's still smiling and for good reason. He essentially proved his point to Wolverine and the rest of the X-men. He demonstrated that they couldn't handle him while they were divided. They still needed to go whining to Cyclops's team like a little girl whose brother just rubbed boogers in her face. It's not your typical boasting from a bad guy that just got his ass kicked. Exodus technically won by losing here. He proved his point and the X-men don't really have much ground with which to debate him. It's one of those deeper moments that result from a battle that is so distinctive in X-men Legacy. Mike Carey did a damn good job with it time and again. Now Christos Gage has done his share.

After Exodus is done waving his dick in the face of his enemies, Pixie and the rest of the Utopia crew teleport him back to Utopia where he can be safely imprisoned in the brig. Yes, it's the same brig from which Sebastian Shaw escaped, but it's not like the Jean Grey Institute is big on keeping prisoners outside of a math class. But before they go, Rogue and Wolverine do make one last impassioned plea to the kids of Utopia that they don't have to be soldiers. They can be normal kids. But in another compelling exchange, they make clear that they're okay with being soldiers. They understand that they can't be normal and if it means they end up as fucked up as Wolverine or Rogue, they're okay with that. While Schism ended quite a while ago, the scars from that event still linger and this moment serves as a compelling reminder of just how deep this divide runs.

Even though the Legacy crew effectively beat Exodus, they return to the Jean Grey Institute with their heads hung low and their balls partially deflated. It's especially bad for Rogue because in the last issue she was the one that stayed behind to call Utopia for backup. Wolverine told her specifically not to do that for reasons that were completely vindicated when kids showed up to save their asses. Whether it's because he's exceedingly pissed or just bitter about having to be saved by a bunch of kids, Wolverine effectively demotes Rogue on the spot. If he can't trust her to not go whining to Cyclops's side, then he can't trust her. It's the second time in recent years that Rogue has pissed on the trust given to her by her leaders. Even when she tries to do the right thing, the girl just can't win for losing.

If that weren't bad enough, her clam is still wet for Magneto. After being effectively dressed down in a way that doesn't make for good porno, Rogue mopes around a bit with Rachel. They have a brief chat about her, Magneto, and how she's not over her throbbing need to snorkel his chud. Rachel points out that she went to Utopia for backup with the hidden desire to see him again. She rightly points out how unhealthy and fucked up that is. She doesn't point out how unhealthy and fucked up it is to want to bang Magneto in the first place when she's got guys like Gambit around who want to also want to bang her. It essentially leaves the disgusting Rogue/Magneto plot exactly where it began with this arc, which is probably a good thing because the last thing this series needs is more scenes with Rogue shacking up with men four times her age.

While the victory is bittersweet, the rest of the students at the Jean Grey Institute emerge from lockdown to return to their semi-normal lives. Among them is blindfold, who was the first to sense Exodus at the beginning of this arc. It was her vision that set this brawl into motion and before the issue ends, we get another vision of just how fucked up everything still is. It serves as a reminder of sorts that while Exodus was defeated, Wolverine and his crew didn't win. They only proved Exodus right and Blindfold seems to agree with his sentiment that by not standing together, they're in for a world of shit. It may or may not be a prelude to Avengers vs. X-men, but it's hard to deny that if they had this much trouble with Exodus then they might as well start cooking their asses to serve as orderves for the Avengers when that conflict comes rolling around.

It's a pretty tense state of affairs for X-men Legacy crew. It's not enough that they were upstaged by a bunch of kids who in another reality were just learning to masturbate effectively and sneak into R-rated movies. They showed that the whole basis of the schism was not as solid as they once thought. The lines aren't as exact as they seemed. The younger mutants still had something to contribute and moreover, they needed to contribute. They proved Exodus right on some levels. By dividing the mutant race, they were all vulnerable as fuck. With Avengers vs. X-men on the horizon, that's not a nice state to be in. So in many ways this comic sort of acts as a warning to the other X-books. Their division may end up fucking them over in ways that'll leave them pretty vulnerable when the Phoenix Force comes knocking.

This issue sent a powerful message. It also had plenty of action and brawling to finish what the previous issue began. It was entertaining, but it fell flat in a few areas. The presence of Hope Summers, the Lights, and the New Mutants promised to be a major game-changer. But not much of it was realized. Hope Summers shined. Pixie shined as only a pink-haired elf-eared teenage girl could. But everyone else didn't do three quarters of a wet fart. The battle against Exodus was a spectacle that unfolded over the course of two issues. It didn't end with a whimper, but it left a bit too much potential on the table. While more dramatic elements like Rogue getting demoted and Blindfold's ominous vision helped add a few additional elements, in the end this issue just didn't feel as awesome as it could have been.

I still enjoyed this issue. Christos Gage has handled the many differing plots throughout X-men Legacy with skills that should make Mike Carey proud and relieved. That high level of quality that I mentioned earlier is still being met. X-men Legacy has it's own unique feel like Uncanny X-men and Wolverine and the X-men. That feel and tone was definitely flaunted in this issue in a way not unlike Jennifer Lopez flaunts her ass. It's a great book, but it leaves too much awesome on the table. It's too much JaMarcuss Russel and not enough Peyton Manning. But this comic still had nearly all the top tier elements of awesome that make it worthy of being a top tier book. With that in mind I give X-men Legacy #263 a 4.5 out of 5. You've got kids upstaging adults, religious nuts on a crusade, and Rogue's panties still getting wet over a man old enough to be her grandfather. It's either X-men Legacy or my last family reunion, but only one involves six kegs of booze. Nuff said!

X-men Legacy #262 - Biblical Awesome

Usually when a character is grossly overpowered in a comic, they come off as more boring or bland than a speech by Al Gore when he's had several hits of Valium. Overpowered characters went out of style when people started realizing that the stories surrounding such characters were more predictable than Mitt Romey's hair style. There are only so many stories you can tell with a character than can literally punch his way out of anything whether it's an exploding planet or a parking ticket. So when an overpowered character like Exodus comes along, it usually means there's going to be a lot of fighting and a lot of trash talk. But you usually don't expect any existential elements that will make you question the inherent mysteries of the multiverse.

Yet Christos Gage managed to avoid that pitfall. In his previous issue of X-men Legacy, he brought Exodus back into the picture after being MIA for the last few years (presumably spending his free time fucking with Pat Robertson as I'm assuming that shit never gets old). Even though he's one of Magneto's former acolytes, he didn't show up at the Jean Grey Institute looking to bust their heads for not making him the school's official panty inspector. He showed up because he in his infinite wisdom had determined that the schism that divided the entire mutant race was going to destroy them all and he couldn't allow it. He was going to just ask Wolverine to work out his differences with Cyclops. He was telling him in the same way the IRS tells us that the income tax if voluntary. This led to a pretty elaborate and pretty awesome battle that ended with Exodus finding out the major details of what happened in Schism. He then determined that Wolverine's team wasn't the one he should be beating up. It was Cyclops that needed his ass kicked.

Now under less fucked up circumstances, I assume Wolverine would have no problem letting someone like Exodus slap Cyclops around a bit. If for no other reason than to wound him in a way that make-up sex with Emma Frost can't heal. However, Utopia is still full of kids that didn't join the Jean Grey Institute. While he still resents Cyclops, he and his team still have an obligation to stop Exodus. It's something that Rogue and Wolverine actually argue about in the first pages of X-men Legacy #262. It actually revisits the whole premise of what led the two teams to schis in the first place. Rogue wants to stay behind to warn Utopia. Wolverine wants to just go after Exodus since he lost his teleportation powers, once again due to Rogue. He just doesn't want Cyclops sending kids to take on someone like Exodus. But Rogue sees it differently. They both have very valid concerns and that's part of what makes the tension so very real. You usually don't get shit that real when a guy like Exodus is dicking around.

In an effort to avoid a very awkward reunion with Cyclops, Wolverine loads his team up in the Blackbird and flies them out in pursuit of Exodus before he can reach Utopia. Rogue later catches up with them via teleportation and right before they're about to crash into him no less. Makes me wonder if she was just holding back so she didn't have to listen to Wolverine bitch and moan about how much he hates the guy that married Jean Grey. Whatever her reason, she returns and even borrows Cannonball's powers to get the ball rolling on the battle. Even though Exodus was lightly drained in the previous issue, it still requires an all out assault just to stop him before he reaches his destination.

Some elements from other X-books were incorporated here, much to Gage's credit. He mentions the Jean Grey Institute's precarious financial situation, which makes crashing the jet into Exodus a financially unviable tactic. It's subtle, but it's one of those little things that goes a long ways in a book. Besides, it just means that Rogue has to teleport Wolverine and the others out into mid air where they wrestle Exodus out of the sky until he hits the ground in a meteor-like strike that would make Michael Bay cum in his pants. It's a nice way to get the ball rolling while showing everyone that there are more economically practical ways to take down an overpowered enemy without crashing expensive shit. The GOP candidates would do well to take notice.

Like Brett Favre after he breaks his ankle in the middle of a championship game, Exodus gets up and shakes off the impact. Wolverine and his team take not chances with this guy. They attack in full force, laying into him before he can get his second wind. Seeing as how he roughed them up pretty good in the last issue, they're due for a little payback. And this time it isn't just Rogue that shines. Others like Iceman demonstrate that he can use his powers for more than making nude ice sculptures of Jessica Alba, taking on a hulking ice form to help add a little force to his attacks. All the while Rachel has to hold back and use her telepathy to keep Exodus from mind-raping them into thinking their bodies had been anally probed to the point of paralysis. Again, it's one of those little elements that Gage hasn't really demonstrated to this point, but damn it if he makes it work.

That doesn't mean Exodus doesn't start hitting back at one point. He's on a holy mission damn it and like most religiously motivated crusades, he's not going to let a little thing like reason hold him back. He manages to hit Wolverine with a blast that burns most of the flesh from his bones. Granted, that probably happens to him at least once a week, but it does show that Exodus can hit back and look badass while doing it. But it isn't just the hitting that makes the battle engaging. There's actually some character development in the mix of it all if you can believe that.

Since it wasn't until recently that Frenzy became a major player in the X-books, it's easy to forget that she and Exodus were once on the same team. They were once professional douche-bags as Magneto's acolytes, doing his bidding and finding ways to screw over the X-men and the human race. But then Frenzy was converted due to the power of Cyclops's penis in Age of X. Exodus readily points out that such an experience made her soft and he wasn't just referring to her cooch. Frenzy responds both with a punch to the face and a reminder that right or wrong, Cyclops didn't bail on everybody. It's nice way of showing where Frenzy is as a character and how she's come to accept her new role with the X-men. It's a great moment even if it is subtle. But if you can't appreciate it, then I'm sorry but you need better weed.

Since Exodus doesn't know or care about the power of Cyclops's penis, he has little issue with roughing up his old teammate. But to his credit, Exodus doesn't just do it because he's annoyed by her changing sides. He actually does a little preaching Billy Graham style, only not as insane. He admits he failed the Acolytes and in order to make up for his failure, he wants to reunite the mutant race. He genuinely believes that their lack of unity will destroy them. It's not your typical I'm-a-badass-so-I'm-gonna-beat-the-shit-out-of-people-who-annoy-me type babble and that's a good thing. Even if his efforts have some merit, the X-men don't buy it. Since Gambit has shown a desire to tap Frenzy's ass, he uses his powers to blow up Exodus's cape. It may not slow Exodus down, but it may increase his chances of getting laid and that's just as important.

Despite this onslaught and eccentric preaching, Exodus once again proves he's as overpowered as Pat Robertson wishes he were. He's able to beat back the X-men and shatter Rachel's psychic defenses. This allows him to use his own psychic powers to paralyze the team. It's not unlike the last issue where Exodus demonstrated too much power and too much insanity, even for a guy with a biblically inspired name. At this point readers may once again be frustrated by how overpowered this guy is. I share your frustration, but I have booze to help me with that. If there's been one flaw in this eventful arc, it's that everything the X-men do pretty much amounts to dick because Exodus is just that strong.

However, this is where Gage throws in yet another twist. Remember that argument Wolverine and Rogue had at the beginning of the book? The one where Wolverine would rather take down Exodus before Cyclops could throw kids into the battle? Well it turns out he wasn't drunk or just dwelling on the fact that he never got to lick Jean Grey's tits. Before Exodus can kill the X-men with his rants about salvation for the mutant race, Utopia's backup arrives. However, it isn't the Extinction Team. It isn't the security team either. It's Generation Hope and a couple of the New Mutants. Yep, they're all kids who in another world would be obsessing over SATs. It's a twist that may or may not vindicate Wolverine's concern, but they may be their best hope against Exodus so it makes for a very volatile situation with which to end the comic.

An arc based entirely around the premise of fighting one overpowered character still seems like it shouldn't work. It's something most of us can get in the real world by watching a boxing match with Manny Pacio against some wannabe lightweight that's 40 pounds lighter than him. But Christos Gage once again manages to take this premise and turn it into a damn good story. It's a story that involves more than just Exodus whipping out his dick and showing everyone that dares question it's prowess how much it hurts to fuck with him. He's on a biblical quest, misguided it may be, to reunite the mutant race whether they like it or not. Being reasonable just doesn't work for him. Diplomacy is for pussies. It may make him friends with Iran, but not with the X-men. It led to some great dramatic moments and a surprise twist with the appearance of Generation Hope. It's definitely the kind of overpowered brawl that actually measures up in ways that go beyond who punches harder.

I usually have some criticisms with X-men Legacy regarding how Rogue is often over-utilized as a cure-all for everything that ails the X-men. I still think it's a problem with other arcs involving her, but in this instance that sort of overuse actually has a valid purpose. She needs to be that flexible power-draining babe that shows off her cleavage in order to measure up against Exodus. And she doesn't take on every aspect of the fighting. Other characters like Frenzy and Gambit and even Iceman manage to shine. However, Gage still hasn't filled in some of the plot holes from the last issue. We still don't know what led Exodus to take this crazy stance about mutant unity. He was just thrown into the mix. That and some of the other dramatic elements that were discussed in the last issue like with Rogue, Gambit, and Frenzy were pretty much forgotten. But most readers probably won't give a shit since the drawn out battle is so damn entertaining.

X-men Legacy has been in a transitional state for the past few issues. The end of Mike Carey's legendary run and the beginning of Christos Gage's run has been a volatile time for this series. For the most part, Gage has measured up respectfully. However, this is the first issue to date where he's really set himself apart. With this issue, he's delivered the kind of awesome for X-men Legacy that I thought would take a while to match after Mike Carey's departure. As such, his accomplishments with this issue are all the more respectable. That's why I give X-men Legacy #262 a 5 out of 5. It feels good to be this thrilled by an issue of X-men Legacy again. So long as it doesn't throw in too many scenes with Rogue shacking up with men four times her age, I think the future of this series is bright. Nuff said!

X-men Legacy #261 - Reflections of Past Awesome

I've taken some heat for my assessment of X-men Legacy lately. Some complain I make too big a deal out of the Magneto/Rogue shit. Granted, it makes for great jokes about senility and Anna Nichole Smith, but I do admit it gets old. While I still feel it's worth belaboring, I haven't let it completely destroy my outlook on X-men Legacy. I still enjoy many aspects of this book, even though Mike Carey has left. The torch has already been passed to Christos Gage, who is best known for his work on Avengers Academy. He already showed us what he can do with X-men Legacy #260.1. Overall, it was a decent comic. But let's face it, he's trying to follow Mike Carey's legacy. That's like trying to fuck a beautiful woman after she's been ravaged by Brad Pitt for two straight hours. You've got your work cut out for you.

Christos Gage began his run by having the Legacy crew establish themselves at the Jean Grey Institute for Higher Learning. They're basically the senior staff that hasn't gotten tenure yet, assuming of course they start bribing the teachers union. So when something like a demon hoard arrives to attack the school, they're on the front lines. X-men Legacy #260.1 demonstrated that they can handle this role nicely and just as with Mike Carey, Rogue takes center stage with her ability to use a massive cocktail of powers and beat down anything that keeps students from their daily does of torture in an algebra class. Boy, what I wouldn't have given for a demon attack in high school. But I guess that's besides the point. In addition to being the unofficial patrols, they also have their share of high school drama. Rogue is still lamenting that Magneto is no longer slipping her the high hard one and Frenzy is still reeling from the influence of Cyclops's penis in Age of X. It leads her and Gambit to end Gage's first issue in a spit-swapping contest. So at least Gage has captured Mike Carey's spirit of having equal battles between sinister forces and the characters' own genitals.

X-men Legacy #261 marks Christos Gage's first issue that doesn't remind readers of how much math sucked back in school. It doesn't start off with a demon attack or any shit like that. It focuses on drama while showing the Legacy crew as they teach some of the students at the Jean Grey Institute, presumably for shitty pay and little recognition like most teachers. Rogue is still dwelling on Magneto's wrinkly scrotum banging against her ass while Frenzy and Gambit have an awkward moment. They're quick to label that kiss in the last issue a mistake. Gambit still seems hung up on Rogue. I assume his scrotum is still collapsed due to the knowledge that she preferred getting her clam filled by Magneto. Frenzy seems to acknowledge this, which is kind of fucked up because that kiss at the end of the last issue could have started something new. Here, it's just glossed over. It's almost as bad as the Cyclops/Emma relationship, minus the porno elements.

And then there's the Rogue/Magneto plot that hasn't been resolved (or effectively set up for that matter). I know I'll get a few comments whining about how I belabor this point, but it's worth belaboring when someone like Rogue that's so competent in so many other fields is stupid enough to spread her legs for a guy that has a history of wanting to extinguish the human race. But I'll try and taper my drunken rage for the moment. Gage actually takes some time here to explore that plot that seemed to be pulled out of one too many different asses. It's nothing elaborate. It's just Rogue chatting with Rachel Grey, the other red-hared green-eyed mutant that doesn't have the Phoenix Force anymore. The drama here is basically taken right out of a High Grant movie. Rogue never really cleared the air with Magneto, but doesn't want to call him to give the impression that she thinks she's wrong for coming to Westchester. Throw in Jennifer Love Hewitt and cheesy dialog and you've got a shitty romantic comedy.

Thankfully, drama only takes up a few pages of this issue. A much bigger issue emerges when Blindfold, a mutant with the power to spoil every movie and football game, shows up and lets them know they have a visitor and it's not Jehovahs Witnesses, but it's just as unwelcome. Early on in Mike Carey's run, he involved Exodus in a plot with Charles Xavier. Then after Messiah Complex, Exodus has been MIA. Presumably, he's just as disgusted with Rogue boning Magneto as well. But he shows up at the front door of the Jean Grey Institute looking all red and douchy. Rogue calls Wolverine and the rest of the Institute staff to meet at the front door to beat this asshole to a pulp before he threatens to level the school. Yet that's not his goal if you can believe that. He says he's there to save mutant-kind.

No really. That's why he says he's there. Not to kidnap someone or kill anyone. That's his stated mission. He says that the schism between mutants is dangerous. Like his name implies, he's going Old Testament on them minus the genocide and misogyny. He says that abandoning Utopia was a bad decision and one that will doom the mutant race. It's not an unreasonable assessment because they've already done the divide part in their enemies' divide and conquer strategy. Now he says they need to resolve their differences with Cyclops. But here's the catch. He's not asking them. He's telling them, which sounds like my old baseball coach only without the threat of throwing baseball bats at my head.

The X-men respond to this as you would expect. They don't like being told what to do even if the asshole doing it does have some valid point. So Rogue leads the assault with Cannonball, Wolverine, Rachel, Gambit, Frenzy, and even Iceman present. That sounds like a pretty tough team until you remember that Exodus is one of those overpowered villains that in a real world setting would human skin to wipe his ass. The battle here is pretty well-organized. The X-men put up a decent fight, but Exodus is just too damn resourceful. So how do they beat him? Well why not take a page right out of...the last issue. Okay, that's not very original, but that's what happens here.

In the first issue when the battle got tough, Rogue just called timeout to go grab some powers from the students at the Jean Grey Institute to tip the balance. She does the exact same thing here. And I mean almost beat for beat. It's one thing to do this in the same series, but doing it after it was already done in the last issue? At least give me some time to kill the necessary brain cells to forget! At least Gage makes it somewhat comedic this time. Rogue swipes some of Exodus's teleportation powers and makes her way to the lower levels of the institute where she meets up with Kid Gladiator, who was introduced as another overpowered douche-bag in Wolverine and the X-men. She asks to borrow his powers. He responds by saying he'll only do it if she joins his harem and presumably participates in an orgy. I admit, if I was in his position I would probably do the same. But Rogue isn't without her charm. She swipes his powers with a kiss before leaving. While this pisses off Kid Gladiator's guardian, he does look quite smitten. It's a cute way of showing that even alien teenagers get awkward boners.

Armed with Kid Gladiator's powers, Rogue returns to the battle and tips the balance. She arrives just as Exodus is reminding Frenzy that they used to be on the same team and she used to believe in their cause until she was corrupted by Cyclops's penis. He threatens to remove her memories of his overpowering dong, which could have made for a very powerful moment. But Rogue comes in just in time and beats the shit out of Exodus. It's a great spectacle, but at the same time it seems like a missed opportunity because it could have fleshed out the conflict with Frenzy. She's clearly in a vulnerable position as most women are after banging Cyclops. The fact that she didn't want her memories changed says something, but it isn't explored and that's just disappointing. So you're stuck watching Rogue beat up Exodus. I concede that's a decent consolation prize.

But despite this ass-kicking, Exodus refuses to back down. You almost have to admire the guy because he believes he's saving the mutant race and not just being a raging douche. The X-men belabor their case that they couldn't stay on Utopia. Exodus just can't wrap his head around why they would willingly divide their species. Then out of frustration, Rogue opens her mind to let him see for himself. What we get as a result is a quick flashback that shows the events of Second Coming and Schism all on one page. It's a nice little recap. It seems out of place since this is usually the kind of shit that the .1 issues are supposed to address, but it offers yet another reminder of what led to Schism. Again, I haven't killed enough brain cells to forget so for most readers this is wasted ink. For me, it just means I need stronger weed.

Nevertheless, it gets the job done. Exodus sees this and understands. And in a very non-douche way, he stops fighting. He actually says that Wolverine and his crew are completely justified in their actions. He even makes it a point to list Hope as a really fucked up part of the equation that for some ungodly reason is the key to the mutant race's salvation. He seems to see her as a threat so he must be an angry Jean Grey fan as well. He leaves the institute saying he's going to fix this, but that has some rather fucked up implications. It doesn't take long for Rogue and the rest of her crew to realize that they may have just sent Exodus to Utopia to fuck things up more than they already are. It's a rather ironic twist, but one that puts a nice twist on this conflict and could potentially lead to a very awkward confrontation with Team Cyclops.

It's amazing how it seems like so much shit happens in an issue, but it's just as long as every other book that's overpriced at $3.99. A lot happens in this book and most of it is pretty awesome. Christos Gage has had two issues so far to set a new tone for X-men Legacy and with this issue, I'm not afraid to say he's succeeding. He's not taking this series down a radically different path. Like so many of the other X-men Regenesis books, the fallout from Schism is still affecting many of the characters. The plot here is sound. Exodus, despite his history of being an asshole, actually arrives with some valid concerns for mutant kind. Even he understands that being divided makes them vulnerable. It leads to a fight with some very interesting undertones and one Gage handles nicely. The prospect of this battle extending over to Utopia adds even more potential that unified coherence that has made the X-books a new kind of awesome.

There's a lot to like about this issue, but there are still some elements that hold it back. I've pointed out how fucked up the Rogue/Magneto plot is and how it should be taken out back to a dark alley, shot in the head, and pissed on before being burned. So I won't repeat myself. But the fight in this issue followed the same formula as the last issue almost to the letter. Everyone starts getting their ass kicked, Rogue steps out for a moment to borrow some powers from students, and then she returns to beat the shit out of whatever threat they were facing. It's nice the first time around, but the sheer lack of variation between two issues just makes it seem cliched. If this is how every issue is going to pan out, then it's going to be akin to being the weatherman in Death Valley. It just gets too fucking predictable.

Even if there was some copying and pasting going on, this is still a quality comic. There's plenty of drama and some elaborate fighting that makes for quite a spectacle. The prospect of taking that spectacle to Utopia offers plenty of appeal for the story. I like that Gage isn't just continuing the themes that Mike Carey set up and mixing them nicely with the general post-Schism status quo. There are a few shortcomings, but it's still an above average comic with the potential to be much better depending on how the next issue pans out. I give X-men Legacy #261 a 3.5 out of 5. I want to give it something higher, but the missed opportunities along with the recycled plot make it difficult to give it too high a mark. But if Gage can work his magic with the next few issues, I'll make a conscious effort to stop mentioning Mike Carey so often in my X-men Legacy reviews. Keep in mind I made a conscious effort to quit drinking before, so try and taper your expectations. Nuff said!