Generation Hope #15 - Tense Awesome

I don't claim to be completely level-headed in my reviews. I don't claim to be sober either. I understand that I have a number of pet peeves in comics that rub me in ways that you don't want an Asian transvestite masseuse to do while blindfolded. But despite these personal grudges, I try to be objective with every book I review. A little brutal honesty helps as well. When a book has minor flaws, I'm willing to take an extra shot of bourbon and overlook it. But when that flaw is major, an entire mountain of cocaine isn't enough to make me ignore it. Consider this a disclaimer of sorts because I've ranted on certain flaws in the X-books before. Some of you may be sick to death of them. To those people I would say you need to drink more. For everyone else, I ask that you keep this in mind as I review Generation Hope #15.

Generation Hope is a series that has had some wild variations. From Kieron Gillen to James Asmus, this book has been cock-bustingly awesome at times and ass-clenchingly horrible at others. In between there have been WTF moments on top of "Holy shit, this is so amazing that I need to inject this book into my veins!" This series is built around some pretty novel concepts that have helped give this book a truly unique feel. The events of Schism helped shape that feel into something even more compelling. James Asmus, taking over for Kieron Gillen, did a great job with his first arc. He had Jean-I mean Hope (you really expect me to still tell them apart?) and her realigned team of Lights venture to Pakistan where they rescued an amnesic Sebastian Shaw. They don't know the man's history or that Emma Frost basically lied to everyone about what he did to him in the Quarentine arc. So when they brought him back to Utopia, the reaction from Cyclops was as overblown as expected. It made Generation Hope #15 all the more intriguing so of course I had a number of pre-rolled joints made up for this issue.

It begins right where the previous book ended, making for the kind of perfect continuity that makes comic fans all warm and fuzzy inside. First, there's a backstory page for readers who don't know the kind of douche-bag that Sebastian Shaw is. Then when the next scene involves Cyclops blasting him and getting Psylocke and Danger to contain him, you don't feel too bad about it. This is, after all, the asshole that made Cyclops's wife go Dark Phoenix and trigger decades of frustration for Jean Grey fans. In that sense Shaw is lucky that Cyclops doesn't order that Shaw's testicles are ripped out through his eye sockets.

Jean Gr-I mean Hope (shit, this is hard) and her Lights are understandably confused and so is Shaw. If you'll recall, Shaw has no memory and the Lights are still new to the game. They don't know what a douche-bag Shaw has been. So Je-I mean Hope (almost had it!) storms off with Cyclops and Emma for a badly needed explanation, leaving the Lights to scratch their heads in frustration at what they just experienced. It can't be too uplifting. They go out of their way to save someone they thought was in trouble and they return only to find out they brought back someone that the X-men hoped was lying dead in a ditch. It leads to some pretty tense moments. Velocidad reminds his teammates that every time he uses his powers, he ages a bit. And when he uses them just to save some guy the X-men hate, that's kind of a big waste. It shows that the Lights may or may not be on board with the X-men's plan. The only one who seems content with this situation is Kenji and Martha Johannsen, who he gave a new body in the last issue. They're already coddling with the kind of creepy chemistry that makes for great anime porn. It may sound disturbing, but it has the kind of charm that will make you smile and throw up at the same time.

We go from one tense moment to one that should be a million times worse. Sebastian Shaw shouldn't be alive. He shouldn't even be on Utopia. It was Emma Frost who mind-wiped him and dumped him in the middle of nowhere. It was also Emma Frost who flat out lied to Cyclops in the Quarantine arc about what she was doing with this. This in and of itself wouldn't be too egregious. She's been known to lie before, but this came after the whole Confession bullshit during Utopia where they agreed to have no more secrets. Well here's a big fucking secret that is a serious threat to both Hope and their partnership with Namor, who is working under the assumption that Emma killed Shaw for him. But what does Cyclops do? He just says "All right." No really, that's it. That's all he fucking says when his big-breasted girlfriend tells him that she lied to him and went behind his back.

Here's where those pet peeves I mentioned earlier come in. I've always cried bullshit when Cyclops and Emma's relationship basically gets a free pass when this shit would have been overblown for any other couple. Emma Frost flat out lied to Cyclops after promising she wouldn't. This usually causes strain in a relationship, both fictional and in real life. But it doesn't amount to jack shit here. They just brush it off and go back to being a walking porno. And I say that's fucking bullshit. If this happened with Cyclops and Jean Grey, every writer at Marvel would use it as a way to fuck up their relationship. But Cyclops and Emma? A couple that has the depth of an episode of Two and a Half Men? Fuck no! There's having a double standard and then there's just being an arrogant dick about it. Guess which one Asmus and Marvel uses here? I'll give you a hint. Paris Hilton loves to suck it when a night-vision camera is rolling.

The potential for drama in Cyclops and Emma's relationship is completely forgotten so they can argue with Hope (happy now?). As far as she's concerned, they just rescued someone who had their mind wiped. Whoever he was before isn't who he is now. It's not an unreasonable assumption, if of course you're an arrogant teenage girl that doesn't know why she shouldn't trust creepy men that claim to have no memory. Cyclops tries to calmly explain to Hope that Shaw is an asshole, but despite that or perhaps because of it Hope says she trusts the man. She even calls Cyclops out for having a shitty standard because this guy boned his girlfriend. It's a real dick move and Emma Frosts responds by smacking her. It's by far the best thing Emma Frost did since getting a boob job. Given how much of a bitch Hope has become lately, she more than deserved it.

While the bullshit surrounding Cyclops, Emma, and Hope is unfolding, another almost equally shitty situation is arising with the Lights. They're still standing around confused at why everyone is so pissed that they brought Sebastian freakin' Shaw to their shores. Then out of nowhere and for no reason they're confronted by some Utopia residents that used to be part of the Mutant Liberation Front. They really don't think highly of the Lights and why should they? They're a bunch of teenagers who just got their powers and because of their connection to Hope Summers, they get all of Cyclops's attention. It's not totally unreasonable, but the fact they're doing this now is really fucked up timing. Too fucked up for it not to be contrived. Laurie doesn't help by being a bitch herself so in addition to contrived timing we get a contrive fight.

It's every bit as random as it sounds. A fight breaks out between the Lights and the MLF for no other reason than to throw some action into this book. To Asmus's credit, the fight is well-organized. It has some pretty nice moments like Kenji using that Akira knock-off form of his along with Martha to show the MLF what a Japanese school girl feels like in tentacle porn. It's not just punching, kicking, and shooting. It is what it is, a mindless spectacle that helps distract from the bullshit happening in another scene. Unfortunately, it isn't distracting enough.

When Emma senses this, she interrupts their little conversation that involves heavy bitch-slapping to inform Hope that her ability to manage others has more room for improvement than downtown Detroit. So how can she really hope to manage an asshole like Sebastian fucking Shaw? Well being the arrogant bitch that she is, Hope reminds Cyclops and her Lights that she has a very strong hold on them. This hold has been hinted at before, but Hope has never flexed it like this. Not only is it a dick move, it has a very Dark Phoenix feel to it. She essentially uses this hold to remind the Lights that she's the pimp and they're her hoes and if they fall out of line, she is well within her right to fuck with them.

This is one moment that is actually really compelling in this comic. To this point, the mysterious influence Hope has over her Lights really hasn't been explored. Moreover, it hasn't taken a dark turn like this yet. When it happens here, you can't help but wonder why this didn't happen sooner. Then again, the timing may be perfect. Hope is becoming more of a brat just in time for Avengers vs. X-men as it looms over the horizon. If she's this much an asshole by the time the Phoenix arrives, then the X-men and Avengers have that much more to fight about.

Hope's little demonstration ends up making her point. Her Lights tuck their tails between their legs and run off to ponder the collapse of their collective scrotum. In addition, Cyclops caves to her wishes. Most likely because he doesn't want to upset the "City in Arizona" as he calls it. He agrees to let Hope work with Sebastian Shaw. He makes sure she reads up on his history of being a dick beforehand, but given the arrogance Hope showed earlier I doubt that'll change her mind. In addition, she has other concerns within her own team. Apparently, they don't like this influence she has over them. Kenji, being the one who almost destroyed a whole fucking city in the first arc of this series, is especially pissed and makes it clear that he's more than a little inclined to fuck up in ways that will make Emma give him all her panties.

This issue had a lot of promise. After the end of the last issue, Generation Hope #15 had a chance to really impact the dynamics of other X-books like Uncanny X-men. Sadly, that promise was never fully realized. It's like a porn star that couldn't get the boob job she wanted. It's tragic and frustrating. It's not enough that this issue once again showed that Marvel is all too willing to gloss over glaring inconsistencies in the Cyclops/Emma relationship. But meaningless fights with characters that haven't so much as taken a minor shit in other comics just make too much of this issue feel like an excuse of sorts. Hope Summers and Emma Frost get a pass while Shaw suddenly becomes a major player for reasons that even a damaged teenage girl should understand are fucked up. This is the first X-men Regenesis book that has left me very disappointed and there's no reason it had to be this way.

I won't go so far as to say it's all terrible. James Asmus did utilize other elements in this issue that helped make up for some of the flaws (to a point). The new dynamic with Kenji and Martha was disturbingly charming. And seeing Emma Frost slap Hope Summers like the bratty bitch she's become was more than enough reason to justify purchasing this comic. Moreover, Hope's hold on her Lights as she demonstrated in a very Phoenix-ish sort of way added more hints as to what may be coming with Avengers vs. X-men. So this comic did contribute to the larger themes of the X-books that are developing in other titles. It's just unfortunate that it didn't do more with what it had to work with. It's like having a boner and no lube.

This issue wasn't the worst installment of Generation Hope to date. It certainly wasn't the best either. It has some elements that make it annoyingly asinine. It has others that make it undeniably appealing. The balance between the two is hard to really define. I can't really say that one makes up for the other. It's like one part is a shot of meth while the other is a shot of heroin. They each have the opposite effects, but it's balanced out in a way that leaves you confused and your brain pretty fucked up. So in light of this split I'm giving Generation Hope #15 a 2.5 out of 5. It could have been so awesome. Instead, the chocolate is mixed in with the shit to a point where it's hard to make sense of either. Nuff said!

X-men Supreme Issue 45: Hearts and Minds is LIVE!

It's time to shake things up in the X-men Supreme fanfiction series and today a new issue will turn the corner on this unique Marvel universe. This website is nearing 17,000 hits and I'm very excited about where this fanfiction series is heading! Part of what has made the X-men compelling since their inception has been their involvement in social issues. It's not enough for them to just be superheroes. There are others like the Avengers and Spider-Man to carry out that role. The X-men have always stood for far more fundemental issues of being different as outcasts of society. My X-men Supreme special Issue 0: Revelation X showed when the X-men accepted this role in X-men Supreme. The first issue of X-men Supreme Volume 3: Ashes of Hope showed just how hostile the world has become to mutants. It's fueling not just tension on Genosha with Magneto. It's also fueling a presidential campaign for Senator Robert Kelly. That campaign takes center stage in this new issue of the X-men Supreme fanfiction series. Hope you enjoy it!

Issue 45: Hearts and Minds

The larger conflicts throughout the world of X-men Supreme will continue to expand. X-men has always involved a wide array of conflicts. They can be the more social aspect of mutants or far more elaborate threats that go beyond mutants. Rest assure, there will be many such threats as this series continues to unfold. For now, it's important that readers provide feedback for this and every other issue of X-men Supreme. Please post it in the comments section for each issue or contact me with your comments. Any feedback is welcome and I'm always happy to discuss the world of X-men. Until next time, take care and best wishes!

Jack

Uncanny X-men #5 - Synergetic Awesome

Anyone who has ever had a job in a soul crushing office with a supervisor/asshole/tyrant that's underworked and overpaid has probably heard them give these bullshit speeches about synergy. Usually, it's just code for making people do more shit without getting paid as much and those that can't do said shit get fired. But enough about Goldman Sachs. This blog reviews comics. And in the world of comics, the concept of synergy actually has some merit. The idea that certain comics take what other related comics do and integrate them into the larger comic world makes for the kind of coherence that makes comics worth following. Sometimes writers and editors try to damn hard to make everything connected. It get so confusing at times that it's akin to watching Lost while on a bad LSD trip. Other times they don't even try. Shit just happens and it's never mentioned again. Both these extremes have a way of butt-fucking awesome comics before they can be awesome. There has to be a happy balance for this shit to work and it helps if the writer is actually competent.

Enter Kieron Gillen's Uncanny X-men. Gillen has already made it painfully apparent that he's a competent writer. He's shown the ability to both take over Uncanny X-men, end it after 544 issues, relaunch it, and make it pretty damn awesome in the process. That's like performing brain surgery, winning every gold metal in the Olympics, and banging Jessica Alba at once. But in terms of synergy, he tends to beat his own drum and lead his own parade. His first four issues established Cyclops's overpowered Extinction Team, setting them up as X-men that both save the world and make clear that mutants are not to be fucked with. But he hasn't really synergized the awesome in the new Uncanny with the other X-books yet. It's still early, but that doesn't mean he can't take a stab at it. It also helps when the events he chooses to synergize are just as awesome.

Enter Rick Remender's Uncanny X-Force. This book is the other Uncanny book that's been regularly assaulting the cerebellum of it's readers with regular awesome. It takes Wolverine's secret kill squad and has them duke it out against forces that just need killing. In the biggest story to date in that series, the Dark Angel Saga created some pretty big ass bangs. One of which was the entire fucking world that Arcangel created using the life seed, destroying an entire town in the process. This new world didn't just disappear David Copperfield style after the Dark Angel Saga. Shit like that is going to get noticed and when it's a whole fucking world, you need someone like the Extinction team to deal with it.

This is where Uncanny X-men #5 picks up. We get a brief recap of what happened with the Dark Angel Saga. If you haven't read this arc and you're a comic fan, take a moment to dip your head in a vat of acid before reading on. If not, this should give a good reminder. The facts are pretty basic. A town blew up. A giant 10-mile dome now surrounds the area. And some curious locals decided to pick up their shotguns and investigate. As one would expect of any redneck adventure, some disappear and need rescuing. That and a blow to the head with a piece of heavy mining equipment for being so fucking stupid.

A little authors note (which there really aren't enough of in comics these days), points out that this takes place after Uncanny X-men #14. As such, it's only appropriate that Psylocke be the one to bring it to their attention. And by bring it to their attention I mean she flat out lies about this thing having turned up too late for her to bring it to anyone's attention. It wasn't too late. She was there when this shit went down, but Uncanny X-Force is still a secret at this point. And since Emma Frost lost an arm in the last arc and is learning how to give left-handed happy endings, she's not there to call bullshit. So when Cyclops decides to send the Extinction team to investigate, he asks Psylocke to take her place. It's fitting not just because Psylocke is the one with the secret. It's fitting because she knows she's lying and has to go along with it to protect that lie. So either way, she's screwed and she still has an amnesic boyfriend.

Before the team leaves, Cyclops also sends a message to Captain America. When there's a nuclear sized explosion in bumfuck Montana of all places, the Avengers take notice. But Cyclops gets in touch with Cap to let him know that his Extinction team is taking care of this. Cap agrees, albeit reluctantly. It's another one of those little things that Gillen has done so well lately, covering angles that would be easier to just flat out ignore. In addition, it drops some hints of tension between the X-men and the Avengers. A prelude to Avengers vs. X-men? It damn well ought to be!

The Extinction team arrives and it's as fucked as a five-dollar whore at a Motley Crue concert. The creatures inside Tabula Rasa as Psylocke dubbed it don't take kindly to the curious humans wielding shotguns. Some of those creatures have wings and look like something that crawled out of Betty White's vagina. These are the creatures that evolved during the Dark Angel Saga when Arcangel decided to do evolution his way and kick start a new ecosystem. I guess these creatures answers the age old bar question of what happens when a mosquito fucks a seagull. Or maybe I just go to better bars.

With help from Danger, the team analyzes this hoard of creatures and makes a rather mundane yet helpful discovery. These creatures navigate by the stars and since time inside the dome is more skewed than sitting through midnight mass on Christmas Eve with your constipated grandfather, they're pretty fucked up. What's the solution to this shit? Block out the stars. That gives Storm yet another opportunity to demonstrate why she's the most awesomely elegant X-woman ever. As if she needed to reinforce her point, but more importantly it clears shit up so that the team can explore Tabula Rasa and find the dumb fucks who thought it would be fun to get lost inside.

Like Scooby Doo in a haunted house, the team splits up. They're setting themselves up to be extras in a slasher movie, but this is the extinction team. A killer in a hockey mask would be a vacation for them. They each branch off to teams. Magik sticks with her brother, who is essentially her pet since he took on the Juggernaut mantle. Hope goes with Namor, who she actually flirted with earlier in a way that would make a great episode of To Catch a Predator. Danger plays the role of air support while Magneto volunteers to go with Psylocke. With Rogue gone, that old plumbing of his needs a new hole to fill and since Betsy lost her boyfriend recently why not? I honestly can't fault the old man for picking the hot Asian chick that likes wearing thongs. It leaves Cyclops and Storm to cover the rest. They have a whole ecosystem to explore and Rick Remender didn't have a lot of time to explore it during the Dark Angel Saga so who knows what they'll find?

Not all of it is full of monsters, if you can believe that. I know nature is a scary place for the fanboys who don't know the world outside their parents basement, but it would be lazy writing to make Tabula Rasa this Pandora-like death trap. And Kieron Gillen shows once again that he's more motivated than the average stoner. He takes a moment to show Illyana and Colossus having a moment in a more scenic setting. To this point Illyana has been a bit of a bitch for putting her brother in a position to be the new Juggernaut with her playing Dog Whisperer to his destructive tendencies (minus the poop). But here she actually does remind her brother that if he doesn't want to end up being as big an asshole as Cain Marko, he needs to remember that he's still human and he needs to feel. So her way of doing this is putting her in a beautiful setting that triggers the stoner that first saw aluminum foil in all of us. It's so precious without being incestuous.

But that's the only rosy side to Tabula Rasa we'll see. The others run head first into Tabula Rasa's less picturesque side. It starts off innocent enough for Cyclops and Storm. They're just strolling along, admiring the fauna. Storm is even nice enough to remind Cyclops that Beast probably would have loved this place. By nice I mean utterly cruel because she knows Beast hates Cyclops's guts at the moment. However, it's worth reminding because him alienating Beast is a big part of what led to Schism. Storm is probably the only one who could get away with doing this and look so elegantly sexy in the process. But it has to be restated, especially if Cyclops is going to have to call on old friends in Avengers vs. X-men.

But if getting belittled by Storm wasn't bad enough, Cyclops stumbles into what at first looks like quick sand. He falls in, disappears, and is shat out three miles away from where he was. I wonder if this is some sort of metaphor for what he's become since he turned the X-men into this army of not to be fucked with. Or maybe it's a hint of what's to come with Avengers vs. X-men. Since I haven't smoked enough pot to make predictions, I'll leave it up to the reader to decide.

Not all of Tabula Rasa's secrets are deadly animals or mounts that poop out mutants though. Sure, Hope and Namor end up taking on a monstrous eel, but Magneto and Psylocke stumble onto something more fucked up if you can believe that. Before they find out, Magneto takes a few too many panels to remind Psylocke that he knows about Uncanny X-Force. There was actually an entire issue of Uncanny X-Force that showed Magneto taking advantage of this knowledge. He probably kills his chances at ever getting into Psylocke's panties by bringing up Angel and reminding her that she paid a high price to save him (again, for the love of Odin go read Dark Angel Saga). It's a conversation that drags a bit, but it has a purpose. It leads to Magneto pointing out that X-Force's activities may have left a few clues behind for Cyclops and the others to find. They end up walking right into one of those clues.

As it turns out 130 million years of evolution does produce some intelligent life of sorts. And that intelligent life took notice of the shit that happened in the Dark Angel Saga and documented it in their art. When these creatures see Magneto and Psylocke, they don't attack like so many of the other creatures in this world. They bow and worship them. It's definitely a perk, but it comes with a bit of a catch. The artwork they depicted of Arcangel and Fantomex is new. 130 million years is a long fucking time. Surely some crazy shit happened before then.

Psylocke begans scanning the minds of these creatures and sure enough, she makes a discovery that they missed during the course of the Dark Angel Saga. Before they started worshiping Arcangel and his Apocalyptic douche-baggery, there was another god that demanded they massage his divine ego. Except like all those other pansy ass gods of the ancients, this one had a metal suit and a big ass gun. It was basically War Machine if War Machine wasn't such a pussy. This being apparently didn't take kindly to getting usurped by the likes of Arcangel. So when Magneto and Psylocke show up, it's ready to start collecting prayers. And by prayers, I mean asses. Hopefully, Psylocke's ass gets priority because most gods seem obsessed with woman's asses on some level. I figure it's only a matter of time before this wannabe god demands that Psylocke either be his bride or be subordinate to man. I think the feminist crowd knows how she'll handle that kind of unholy bullshit.

Gods, god machines, dark secrets, and synergy. It sounds like the kind of thing Michael Bay dreams about when he's taken one too many shrooms, but that's what Uncanny X-men #5 delivers. It takes the ashes from the Dark Angel Saga and uses them to reignite a new story that's awesome enough to cook bacon with. Kieron Gillen and pretty much every other writer at Marvel didn't need to deal with the remnants of the Dark Angel Saga. They probably could have just ignored it and fans wouldn't have given half an ounce of squirrel shit. But they didn't. Gillen actually made an effort to connect elements from one story and build something else from it. And so far he's done a damn good job.

There's a lot of setup and backstory squeezed in. A number of scenes in this issue act only as extended reminders of shit that happened in the Dark Angel Saga or in other parts of Uncanny X-Force. The breakdown at the beginning of the issue was probably enough, but it kept getting revisited and that made the comic drag at times. Yet it didn't get in the way of the action and it established some new twists on what Remender began in his arc. It opens the door for some potentially volatile revelations or even more secrets if and when X-Force comes to light. Whatever the case, Kieron Gillen has established another large-scale threat that only the Extinction Team is equipped to handle. He could have done without Hope flirting with Namor, but he did more than his part to honor the high-caliber awesome that Rick Remender established.

Kieron Gillen has definitely done plenty to establish this series as his own. He's given it his own unique touch and it's by far the best thing to happen to Uncanny X-men since Emma Frost's cleavage. This new arc deals with the kind of fragile conflicts that go beyond simply finding the bad guy and beating the shit out of him. There's potential for a much more complex kind of awesome. It's the kind of story that Gillen has done so well to this point and if you've come to love his work on any level, you shouldn't have much to bitch about with this issue. I give Uncanny X-men #5 a 4.5 out of 5. So the next time your boss starts droning on about this synergy bullshit, just throw Uncanny X-men #5 in his face and say "This is how it's done, asshole!" It may get you fired, but you'll prove your point. Nuff said!

CBR X-POSITION: Kieron Gillen - My Questions and Uncanny Hints

I know it's been a while since I've mentioned CBR's weekly X-POSITION column. I imagine the fine folks at Comic Book Resources are having just as tough a time working off the holiday eggnog as I am. It was only yesterday that I could shit without evoking several deities for strength. But 2011 is over. 2012 is in full swing and while we're not obsessing over the Maya Doomsday Prophecy, we'll have plenty of awesome comics to read. The big story that's going to have everybody's dick hard enough to club baby seals with is definitely Avengers vs. X-men. Marvel has already been releasing teaser after teaser for this thing. I get it. It's going to be big, insane, and involve the Phoenix Force. I don't need to be reminded that I'm going to buy it.

It also helps that the current X-books have been pretty damn awesome without having to beat the shit out of the Avengers. Uncanny X-men is one of those gems. Ever since Kieron Gillen took over, the series has reached new heights of awesome that would leave weaker fanboys lightheaded and with a nasty case of vertigo. His first arc introduced Sinister and the Celestials to Cyclops's new Extinction Team, while blowing Emma Frost's arm off in the process. He followed that up with a one-shot issue about the Phalanx that was awesome in a way that didn't need a big ass event to leave an impact. The man is definitely firing on all cylinders so CBR has every reason to give him an X-POSITION.

CBR: X-POSITION - Kieron Gillen

As usual, I make sure I'm sober enough to ask a few questions. Between Avengers vs. X-men and the recent events in Uncanny, I have more than my share. And being the generous folk they are, CBR and Kieron Gillen were nice enough to answer a few.

MarvelMaster616 would probably like the previous answer, but he'd also like to hear about motivations...


1) First off, great job on "Uncanny X-Men" #4. It was a deep, heartfelt issue that also connected with Sinister's plans. Can you talk a bit about what he's doing and why he may be doing it?


Thank you. Regarding what Sinister is up to -- the main theme of him previously has been the Pokemon-catching-them-all-esque-ness of gene hunting. He basically is someone who viewed the world as lab material. By showing him get his hive mind from the Phalanx I make it clear that he viewed everything -- not just mutants -- like this. It's just how he rolls. He sees the world as a Petri dish, a butcher's window or a dissection table. He's perhaps the most entitled man in the Marvel Universe.


What's he doing now? Well, the clues are there to speculate what he's doing now. He's talked about upping his game to match the X-Men's new Extinction team. It's clear that he has a specific interest in Hope -- and having him be the person to finally drop the "P" word at her is probably problematic. And... oh, that's all you're getting. Except that you'll get more in Uncanny's "AvX" issues.


As I said earlier, Sinister's a schemer. Part of my first arc was both tying off his previous schemes and giving an answer... and then starting another one. It wouldn't be a Sinister plot if you weren't wondering "What is he up to?" for half of it.


2) It's been argued on message boards that Cyclops has become a lot like Magneto. His Extinction team evokes both fear and respect for mutants. How close would you say Cyclops is to being like Magneto? At what point would you say the similarities become too egregious?


I think his current position is that he's willing to pretend to be more like Magneto to get what he wants -- which is no one to fight and kill each other. It's a specific tactic for a specific situation for a specific timeframe. From Cyclops' position, it's a case of keeping mutants alive until Hope does whatever Messiah-y things she's born to do -- if embracing the fact they are feared is a short-term compromise he thinks is the best solution. Cyclops is synthesizing various philosophies. There may be more Magneto in there than previous, but it's not the dominant strand by any means.


And to state the obvious: Magneto never formed a super-team to protect the world.


3) I'm sure you've been keeping up with James Asmus' "Generation Hope." In a recent issue, Hope and the Lights "rescued" Sebastian Shaw and brought him back to Utopia. Cyclops certainly wasn't happy about this. Can you clarify when this takes place in the timeline with Uncanny X-Men? How will it affect events and character relationships?


I think you should wait until that story's over to really discuss those kind of elements. Until James has resolved stuff, I fear I'll step on his story.


4) While on the same subject, Emma kept Shaw a secret from Cyclops despite their promise in "X-Men: The Confession" to have no more secrets. Now that she seems to have gone back on this promise, how will that affect her relationship with Cyclops?


Once again, I'll nod at the previous answer. But, yes, this is clearly a tricky one. And there's things shaking up Scott and Emma's relationships soon enough over in 'Uncanny' anyway.

Many X-men writers handle these columns differently. I'm not convinced that some don't answer these questions sober. But Kieron Gillen always displays class in interviews. It's refreshing to know that a writer of a big time comic takes his shit seriously. I know that may not sound like much, but it goes a long way in ensuring that comics stay awesome.

His explanation about Cyclops being too Magneto-like actually adds some needed context because a lot of people on message boards have been bitching lately that he's become too much of a dictator. The sad part is they're not entirely wrong in their bitching. He certainly has taken on the mold of a Magneto type character with his willingness to make humanity shit themselves whenever they walk down the street. But there is purpose behind it. There are circumstances involved and like anyone whose memory has been bombed by booze and weed, those circumstances are easy to forget.

But on more pressing issues, I'm glad someone finally mantioned the P-word in the comics. Normally the P-word to me is an impromtu prostate exam. But Phoenix is just as bad on some levels (but not all if you know my doctor). It makes sense that someone as twisted as Sinister would bring it up and he seems to be preparing for it. Gillen has given Sinister some added charm to his already twisted persona and now that he's his own army, that's something that even the Extinction team should have problems with. If that little girl with red hair, green eyes, and a fiery disposition that isn't Jean Grey gets too moody, that'll only make it worse.

And I know I frequently rant about Marvel's apparant unwillingness to do anything with the Cyclops/Emma relationship, but I feel a strange sense of hope when Gillen says that it will be addressed soon enough. I hope he does more with it than Matt Fraction, who only used conflict to get these two in bed. It was less a relationship and more an extended episode of Two and a Half Men (the pre-Kutcher saga). Gillen has already shown a willingness to dig deeper with the characters than most writers who have graced the pages of Uncanny. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt in handling the ever frustrating relatinship issues of Cyclops and Emma Frost.

Overall, Gillen has done more than enough to earn the confidence of every Uncanny X-men fan that ever lived. Sure, it's a book that set the bar impossibly high with talent like Chris Claremont. But that doesn't mean guys like Gillen can't still kick ass with it and after just four issues into the relaunch, my ass is as tender as an overmarinated flank steak. Nuff said!

X-men Legacy #260.1 - A New Legacy of Awesome

I tend to catch my share of flack for my drunken rantings on this blog. Sometimes it help that I'm too drunk to even remember the shit I wrote at times. My review for X-men Legacy #260 wasn't one of those reviews. I admit it was a bittersweet and disappointing moment in my history of drunken rants. I was genuinely dismayed at how Mike Carey chose to end his run on X-men Legacy, a book that he spent years turning into one of the most consistently awesome X-books on the racks. Between a seemingly needless plot with a needless character revival and needless scenes that show Magneto and Rogue swapping body fluids, there was too much for even my robust liver to process. But that doesn't mean I've given up on X-men Legacy and that doesn't mean my view on these characters is tainted, although the same can't be said for Rogue's pussy anymore.

The final issue of X-men Legacy (after the bullshit plot with Ariel was over), showed Rogue and most of her Legacy crew heading to Westchester to help Wolverine build the Jean Grey Institute for Higher Learning. It ended one era of X-men comics and entered another. So to set the stage for what this new era will entail, X-men Legacy released another one of Marvel's .1 issues under a new writer, Christos Gage. Aside from reminding me that I suck at math, this book also reminds readers that Mike Carey is gone. His legacy has been established and now it's Gage's turn to build on it. Despite the last issue, he has a daunting challenge ahead of him. He's like Peyton Manning's backup, sheltered behind a star and given very little chance. But Gage can still show that he's more Aaron Rogers than Curtis Painter. To do that, he'll have to show how the Legacy crew functions at the Jean Grey Institute and make it awesome.

He begins X-men Legacy #260.1 with the basics. Those football metaphors weren't just because I get extra drunk for the NFL playoffs every year. It was actually a prelude. Gage's first act for the legacy crew is for them to play a friendly game of mutant football on the grounds of the newly constructed institute. I never like to get too excited by just one panel, but I'm already liking the way Gage is thinking. It's what you would expect of a game of football if someone gave the Oakland Raiders steroids. It's full of superpowers, trash talk, and Rockslide gets obliterated worse than Joe Theisman's leg. Sure, he heals, but it's a nice light-hearted moment for the Legacy crew. Definitely a step up from Rogue boning Magneto.

The game ends in a way that was only slightly less exciting than the way the Broncos/Steelers Wild Card game ended where Tim Tebow cost me fifty bucks. Rockslide gets obliterated while Rogue shows off the control she has of her powers by not only pulling his sorry ass together, but making him more badass. It doesn't go unnoticed by Gambit, who has had a boner for her since Clinton was getting head from Monica. But this demonstration of control has a much larger message that Gambit and Frenzy realize. Rogue is moving forward with her newfound control and Gambit really is the same douche-bag he was back on Utopia, constantly looking for ways to bone her. Frenzy points this out to him, who still has wet panties for Cyclops. But neither are in a position to really bust each others balls so they agree to leave it in the past. They probably should have also agreed to check out a mysterious portal that opened not far from where Rockslide got the Ray Lewis treatment, but boners and wet panties come first I suppose.

That portal quickly turns into yet another crisis for the Jean Grey Institute. Fresh off the attack by Karoka, a sudden invasion of demons from another realm seems less daunting. Now some may be asking where the fuck these demons came from and how can they not be contrived? Well they actually serve a purpose here. While the Legacy crew and some of the Wolverine and the X-men crew get ready for battle, Beast actually uses this as an opportunity to lecture younger mutants on the finer points of demons. He assures everyone and the execs at Marvel that they're not ripoffs of the Alien movies. They're the N'garai, who hang out with the elder god, Cthon. I slept through my class on Marvel universe mythology so I won't begin to get into that, but makes this compelling is that Beast uses this lecture to essentially narrate what the X-men are up against. This way the reader doesn't have to sour wikipedia or get high to make their own conclusions. It's still a cliched demon invasion, but at least Christos Gage tries to make it feel logical.

And as true logic dictates, when demons come knocking on your door you treat them the same way you would treat a Jehovah's Witness. You fight back and if necessary, beat the everloving shit out of them. Like in previous Legacy books, Rogue leads the charge with Frenzy, Gambit, and Rachel Grey providing support. Even other non Legacy members like Iceman and Cannonball get involved, which helps make this book really feel like it's part of Team Wolverine now. In the background, Beast keeps lecturing as to how these creatures were sealed before and how they got out. It amounts to magic being an inexact (and horribly inefficient) science.

What really makes a .1 issue stand out in addition to reminding readers that math sucks is that it's organized as a much more coherent, self-contained story. Beast's lecture along with the battle between the Legacy crew and the N'garai help give this book the coherent feel that's so important to these titles. They could easily cut that shit out and make this just another issue of X-men Legacy. But then we wouldn't find out that all those little demons that the Legacy crew were slaying were the equivalent of worker ants. If you kill enough of them, the queen is going to take notice and as nature dictates the queen (or Mabdhara as Beast describes it) is always bigger and meaner than any of the other creatures. Except this one actually talks and threatens to use the bodies of the X-men to make the portal into her realm wider, presumably so she can move more of her shit into their domain. Sounds a lot like my ex-girlfriend, but not quite as cruel.

The battle quickly turns against the Legacy crew. The Mabdhara, also like my ex-girlfriend, is much meaner and more aggressive than her warrior drones. She quickly surrounds the Legacy crew and begins to overwhelm them. Then in true Legacy fashion, Rogue takes charge and comes up with a plan. She leaves the others to hold their own for a while, which sounds like a dick move until you find out what she's doing. First, she gets Cannonball's volatile sister, Paige, to take care of the demons that snuck past the X-men. Then she borrows powers from a couple of students. She doesn't even make them feel woozy either like she used to. She just reassures them that all the loud banging noises are nothing to be worried about. That's what my landlord told me about the neighbors/S&M club in my old apartment building. You know it's bullshit, but you just learn to accept it.

Armed with these new powers, Rogue storms out like an elemental titan. She has the size and grandeur of Kaorka, who joined the institute at the end of the first arc of Wolverine and the X-men. She also has Idie's powers. So the Mabdhara and her N'garai thugs really don't stand a chance. Rogue looks as badass as you would expect in an X-men Legacy book, stomping out the demon hoards in the same way 11th grade English class stomps out a student's will to live. Gambit, Frenzy, and the others get a few shots in, but it's Rogue who sends the demons packing. They eventually realize that they stand no chance and tuck whatever qualifies as their dicks between their legs and runs off.

It's a visually stunning way to end a fight that was nicely drawn out and perfectly orchestrated. These were all marks of Mike Carey's run and Christos Gage continues that theme nicely. Moreover, he continues the progress that Rogue made throughout Carey's run. Before Carey, Rogue really couldn't control her powers and she didn't have much authority with the X-men. This scene sends a clear message. Rogue not only has control. She has the credibility and respect of the other X-men. She's seen as a leader, a role that Cyclops took from her after Second Coming. It not only builds on what Mike Carey established, but it takes it to a new level under Gage.

The demons are gone and the inevitable clean-up begins. We're left to assume that the Jean Grey Institute either has significant emergency funds or the most understanding insurance company in the history of the universe. But while they're cleaning, Rogue and Gambit have a chat. But it's not the kind of chat you would expect from two characters that have been undressing each other with their eyes for nearly two decades. She just reminds Gambit that she has more control over herself than she did before, which probably means she's not going to be letting him in her panties anytime soon. Gambit really doesn't push either. It seems pretty pointless in some ways because most X-men readers know of their history. It seems utterly lost on them. It just reinforces what Rogue's huge display of power already made apparent. She's determined to protect the kids of the school from the kind of bullshit that fucked her up for years. It's a nice way of setting up the theme for X-men Legacy, but utterly ignores the underlying drama between these characters.

Not content to deal with old drama, Gage throws in a twist at the end to set up a new kind of drama. Since Rogue doesn't seem keen on inviting Gambit for a post-victory fuck, he meets up with Frenzy. It's understandable too since they're both struggling with dramas that involve love interests that won't fuck them. Gambit reflects on how Rogue doesn't depend on anybody anymore, therefore making her less inclined to sleep with him. Frenzy still belittles him, but that doesn't stop them from sharing a nice kiss at the end. It sounds random, but given all the sexual frustration these two endure it's amazing they haven't humped the first thing with a pulse.

I'm not against Gambit/Frenzy becoming a new couple. Let's face it, it's nowhere near as fucked up as some of the other pairings Marvel has thrown together over the years. This is one I'm sure some fans won't mind jerking off to, but others might be a bit put off by how Gambit and Rogue just seem completely uninterested in one another. Granted, Gambit's still probably emasculated after Rogue boned Magneto, but his relationship with her has never been overtly addressed. It feels like this relationship is being set up before the details surrounding Gambit and Rogue are filled in. Seeing as how Gambit/Rogue has some pretty rabid fans out there, I imagine this is going to piss them off worse than Tim Tebow pisses off atheists.

Whenever a comic goes through a transitional period, it's expected to be a little rough at times. It's not unlike taking a really big shit after having binged on tacos after getting drunk at two in the morning. It's a painful, yet necessary part of the process of life. The transition from Mike Carey to Christos Gage wasn't quite as messy. At times it was hard to notice a real change since so many of Mike Carey's stories are so deeply entrenched. But Gage definitely established a different tone. Now it's really not clear if this is just because the team is now at the Jean Grey Institute, in which case it wouldn't have mattered if Mike Carey stayed. But this issue really came off as Gage's attempt to show that he could write an X-men comic. At times it seems like he tries too hard, but he still succeeds.

Gage was very basic here. He had the Legacy crew interacting with a number of other Team Wolverine characters and each other. Not a whole lot was revealed from this. Rogue is still an aspiring leader and visionary, but her interactions with the others really didn't show much drama. She still looked pretty badass with how she used her powers, which she did daily in Carey's run so it's nice to see that Gage has kept that tradition. The final scene with Frenzy and Gambit seemed only somewhat random, but it didn't feel nearly as contrived as it could have been. Gambit and Rogue haven't been shown as being into each other since George W. Bush was still president. It's long overdue that something else come along and establish a new sense of drama.

Overall, this was a solid first issue for Gage. It had everything one could want in an X-men Legacy comic. It does a great job of taking the tone established by Jason Aaron in Wolverine and the X-men and integrating it into the style of storytelling of X-men Legacy. It's definitely a transition book and these books are always difficult to grade. Like my old algebra class, you have to use a curve or else you'll just skew the results. So with that in mind I'm giving X-men Legacy #260.1 a 4 out of 5. Part of me wants it to be lower. Part of me wants it a bit higher. But Gage really didn't make too many egregious mistakes here and he did utilize some compelling plots. So for that, I'll leave this score as tentative. Whether or not it sticks depends on how future issues are developed. For now, this is a solid X-men Legacy title. I'm sure I'll still catch shit for my assessment of this and previous X-men Legacy issues. That only means I have more excuses to get drunk. Thanks haters! Nuff said.