Friday, November 11, 2011

X-men Supreme: Supreme Reflections - Hank McCoy is LIVE

It took a week of hard work and cost some extra sleep, but I did it! I completed the next entry of the X-men Supreme fanfiction series in a mere week. It's a lot harder than it sounds, even for Supreme Reflections. I try to put as much detail and care into X-men Supreme as possible. That's hard to do in just a week, but with the holidays coming up and continued support from my wonderful readers I was overdue. X-men Supreme is in a transition period. Supreme Reflections is a time to dig deeper into Marvel's famous X-men as they are in this fanfiction series. Cyclops and Jean Grey were a pleasure to write, especially with all the drama they endured in X-men Supreme Volume 2: War Powers. But they weren't the only ones. Hank McCoy had his share of drama as well. It led to some big moments for him and now with Supreme Reflections, the larger parts of his story can be told. Enjoy!

Supreme Reflection: Hank McCoy

In addition to a new entry into X-men Supreme: Supreme Reflection, I also proud to announce that I've collected another commission from my good friend, Brian Brinlee. Once again, he has contributed his wonderful artistic talent to the X-men Supreme fanfiction series. His latest piece takes a scene right out of Issue 24: Family and Fiends Part 3 and highlights a memorable flashback with Nightcrawler and Deadpool. Please check it out in my X-men Supreme Official Panels section. Thanks again, Brian!


As always, I strongly encourage everyong to post feedback on this and every other update for this fanfiction series. X-men Supreme thrives on feedback and it's important I know how to make this series better. Please contact me at any time if you wish to discuss this fanfiction series or just talk X-men. Thanks again to all those who have lent their support! Until next time, take care and best wishes! Excelsior!

Jack

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Uncanny X-Force #17 - Double Crossover Awesome


The are a few unflappable laws of physics in the world of Marvel comics. One law is that the killer instinct of a woman is directly proportional to a male reader's ability to masturbate to them. A second is that anything with the word "saga" in the title is setting itself up to be an epic or an epic piece of shit. For every Phoenix Saga, there's a Clone Saga. For every saga that fills us with joy, there's a saga that makes us spew diarrhea through our nose. The Dark Angel Saga has kept the noses of it's readers remarkably clean since it began. It's already lasted beyond six issues, exceeding the attention spans of most modern comic fans. However, through awesome storytelling and heart-wrenching drama this saga has managed to keep it. For this Twitterholic generation, that's quite an accomplishment.

Rick Remender hasn't held anything back. He's crossed this story over with the Age of Apocalypse world, he's taken a traditionally pussy-whipped character like Archangel and turned him into a badass demigod, and he's thrown in plenty of blood-soaked violence along the way. It couldn't be more complete without him wrapping every issue in bacon. The epic scale started to really come together in the last issue. Using the World as an incubator and the Life Seed as a cosmic equivalent to roofies, Arcangel gave Psylocke an Apocalypse-style makeover. All the while his horsemen and a few holdovers from Age of Apocalypse make it a point to bitch slap Wolverine and the rest of X-Force before they can reach them. It leads to Fantomex retreating like a pussy and to Deadpool getting shattered like an Iranian built rocket. It couldn't be more dire if they hired Herman Cain's publicist.

Uncanny X-Force #17 won't make readers any more optimistic from the beginning. At this point Marvel should be offering free Prozac samples with each issue. It starts off with a brief flashback that shows how Warren was once a nice, simple, rich guy that joined the X-men to do a little good and presumably impress the ladies. Then we go straight to the present where we see that the life seed did it's job. It turned Psylocke into another albeit much hotter Apocalypse knock-off. Remember that first law I mentioned about badass women and masturbation? I think it applies nicely here. While they swap spit, Wolverine is still getting his ass kicked by an oversized AOA Iceman.


It's really not looking good for Wolvie. Fantomex has played up his French persona and retreated, leaving only him to take on Arcangel, his homicidal bride that looks great in a thong, and a giant Iceman. That means he's completely fucked, right? Well there's one problem with that. Remember how Fantomex seemed to completely lose his balls? It turns out they only shriveled partially because he left the battlefield to get backup. What kind of backup could a secret kill squad get? How about the Age of Apocalypse crew? They'll keep their secret, kick some ass, and have plenty of incentive to fuck up Arcangel's shit before so that his romp with Psylocke is shorter than Kim Kardashian's marriage.

But wait a sec. How the fuck did the AOA crew get here? Okay, so maybe Gateway can port them, but that doesn't explain the how and why. A few issues ago, they were stuck in the AOA world staring down a Wolverine/Apocalypse threat that worked their asses over. How the hell did they pull themselves away from that shit in order to jump into this shit? It's really not clear, but seeing as how they played such a big role early in the saga it's nice that they show up again. It would just help to have additional details. Then again, there's still an issue left. That's 20 pages overpriced at $3.99 to clear this shit up.


Whatever their reason or method for showing up, they waste no time in fucking up Arcangel's plan. AOA Nightcrawler really shines here, teleporting right up in Arcangel's face and removing Genocide's helmet. That doesn't sound like much until you remember that Genocide is essentially a walking Chernobyl on steroids in a fancy suit. Even for Arcangel, that's going to be an inconvenience. At the very least it'll kill his boner just long enough for X-Force to get in and prevent another disturbing sex tape. Fantomex goes for Psylocke as you would expect. After all, he has shown an insatiable urge to bone her. But now that she's more homicidal than ever, who can blame him?


After a quick regroup, Wolverine enjoys a brief reunion with his AOA buddies and then Nightcrawler teleports him, Sabretooth, Sunfire, and Wild Child right into Arcangel's path before he could plant the Celestial life seed. Arcangel looks at this the same way most people look at a backed up toll booth. It's an inconvenience, but at least you know who to take your anger out on. There's no hesitation or reaching out to the Angel within. Wolverine and the AOA crew just rip into his Apocalyptic ass and he rips right back. It's a beautiful thing and adds to the overall epic feel.


While Wolverine and his buddies keep Arcangel busy, Fantomex goes to work on Psylocke in a disappointingly non-sexual way. Since he's French and can't resist a beautiful woman who walks around in panties, he tries to reach her and reminder that she secretly wants to jump his bone. She responds in ways that most women only fantasize about responding to snooty wannabe Europeans. She slashes his fucking throat with a psionic blade. Now this isn't the first time Fantomex has been bloodied in this story, but it keeps getting more satisfying every single time because that's how much of a douche he is. The problem is he's a very smart douche because in slashing his threat, she made Psylocke feel a smidgen of remorse. That's all a powerful psychic needs to enter her mind. What powerful psychic could pull this off? How about Jean fucking Grey? Yes, she's alive in AOA and yes this is yet another instance of Marvel throwing Jean Grey into the X-books without actually bringing her back. It's a dick move, but like Charlie Sheen at a Bangkok pharmacy he'll take what he can get.


Jean digs deeper into that kinky mind of hers, bringing up flashbacks of Psylocke's first encounter with Angel. It happens in a way I'm assuming most rich fucks meet, at an opulent social party at the Hellfire Club where the wine is so expensive it could pay for Donald Trump's hair gel for an entire week. They meet up in a way that looks like it was ripped right from a porno set. Angel and Psylocke meet wearing their traditional Hellfire outfits. They talk, they mingle, and undress each other with their eyes every step of the way. It's an interesting twist on Psylocke and Angel's relationship. It's almost as if their role playing and doing too good a job. Not sure if it's a flashback or fantasy, but it fits in nicely with the darkness they've both embraced.


There's just one problem with this flashback. It's not actually a flashback. This is Jean freakin' Grey we're dealing with so you can expect some pretty extensive mind games. She shows up as an extra and essentially breaks Psylocke and Arcangel out of their roles. It doesn't take much to convince Psylocke that the flashback isn't real, probably because Jean flashes her Phoenix potential and that's usually pretty damn convincing no matter what kind of a mind trip you're on. She's able to help Psylocke get control over her Apocalyptic persona. It frees Psylocke to get control and go after her boy toy. I kind of wish she stuck around so Remender could throw in some girl-on-girl innuendo between Jean and Psylocke, but I'm sure there will be other opportunities.


Now that Psylocke is back in control of her faculties (and not quite as hot now that she's not evil), Jean returns to the battle against Arcangel. She lends a Phoenix-guided hand to Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Sabretooth, and Wild Child while they take on Arcangel. It's really not much of a fair fight. Even with the Phoenix, Arcangel shows that he can deal with them the same way Bill Gates deals with a parking ticket. It's just no big deal for him. He even finds time to fuck with Wolverine, acting for a moment like the real Angel is trying to get through. This makes Wolverine hesitate just long enough to burn him to his metal bones (again). At this point I'm starting to wonder if Arcangel isn't just toying with them.


Having dealt with X-Force and the rest of the AOA holdovers, he returns to his less than humble abode to plant the life seed. He's taken everything that X-Force and the AOA can throw at him and he's dealt with it in ways that even Simon Cowell would admire. There really isn't much left keeping him from planting the life seed and effectively wiping the slate clean all over Earth (that entails exterminating all life in case that was too vague). However, when he arrives he finds that he has two more obstacles, Fantomex and Psylocke. Now dealing with Fantomex should be easy enough. He's the guy trying to bone his girl. But he went through a lot of trouble to make Psylocke his bride. Now she's back to normal and has a sense of humanity once more? That's a problem and there's only one issue left for her to be a big enough problem to stop. I get the feeling that no amount of relationship therapy will help them get through this shit.


The saga is almost over. The end draws near and for once that's not leading to a Michele Bachmann joke. Rick Remender has taken the Dark Angel Saga down many twists, but in many ways this issue starts to bring it full circle. The AOA cast returns and the drama starts reaching an apex. We get flashbacks, bodies being cut in half, and a little Phoenix action. These are the ingredients that make an X-men story truly epic and Rick Remender balances them masterfully. It isn't enough to just Arcangel beat the shit out of X-Force. Remender amps up the drama by playing up Psylocke's feelings for Angel and shows how Fantomex is such an unbelievable douche for taking advantage of them. Like I said, perfect balance.

The aren't many loose ends here, but some were left conspicuously open. It was a bit overly convenient for the AOA crew to show up when they did. If it was that easy to go back and retrieve them, then why the fuck didn't they do that from the beginning? When this story last left AOA, Jean Grey was staring down the twisted gaze of a Wolverine/Apocalypse problem that threatened to rip their world apart. What the hell happened there? Where the fuck is that story? There's still an issue to clear everything up, but as it stands now it's still pretty random. There weren't many hints as to what they left behind in AOA, but I can't really knock their presence too much because they played such a vital role in the events that unfolded.

With one issue left, I can only fane confidence that Rick Remender will leave no stone unturned. He's more than earned that confidence by finding so many amazing ways to make this series awesome. Uncanny X-Force #17 still stands by itself as an action-packed, heart-wrenching, ball-busting, constipation-curing thrill ride. It feels very complete, leaving everything in place for the final issue to be worthy of a true saga. For that, I give this comic a 5 out of 5. X-men Regenesis may be a big deal and DC's new 52 may be burning up sales charts and burning holes in the wallets of many comic fans. However, an awesome comic always finds a way to weave through the hype and kick the asses that need to be kicked. And X-men fans should be grateful that Remender has taken up the challenge. Nuff said!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

X-men Supreme: Supreme Reflections - Hank McCoy PREVIEW

I've been hard at work on the latest entry of Supreme Reflections for X-men Supreme. This fanfiction series has plenty of amazing stories ahead of it along with some deeper insights. I understand that waiting for it can be tortuous at times as is the case for every X-men story that comes along. Now I know that I've maintained a biweekly schedule for X-men Supreme for most of it's history. Well I would like to make those updates weekly, but as if often the case time just works against me. However, I managed to work ahead recently with this fanfiction series. As such, I'm going to try and update the next issue of Supreme Reflections sooner. The next entry is Hank McCoy, everyone's favorite ape-man X-men. I haven't had a lot of time to dig deeper into Hank's history as I have others. Well it's about time his past come to light! So I've prepared a preview that should offer a hint of what's to come.


Carl Sagan once said, “It’s better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” I wonder if he had a lost love in mind when he came up with such a profound musing. It would certainly be appropriate. Cursing the darkness is the easy part when that’s all that surrounds you. Lighting that proverbial candle and using it to find the way is much more difficult.

How could anyone regardless of their aptitude in Quantum Mechanics be so foolish? I had before me what I once thought to be a statistical impossibility. A beautiful woman full of grace and majesty had given her heart to me. Together we shared a love and intimacy that transcended the superficial. What we had was deeper than mere natural instinct. For a man such as me, that alone goes a long way. Yet it all fell apart. It fell apart because I let it.

How could I be so foolish? How could I be so asinine? I grew up in a world surrounded by reason and logic. Why is it that I can apply these skills in every other endeavor except those of a personal nature?

Hank racked his brain for answers. Usually, they came easy or at the very least he was able to go through the complicated steps that would lead him to the answer. This time he was completely at a loss. He had no clues, no variables, and no formulas to work out. He had only the burden of a foolish heart.

Holding his head low, Hank swallowed a bitter growl and grabbed a piece of chalk. He then found himself jotting down some random notes on his board. This time they were of a non-intellectual nature. They were strictly abstracts. He wrote down words such as love, heartbreak, mistake, and reasons. He circled each word and then put a big question mark next to it. This crude model represented the problem his powerful intellect faced.

I suppose personal issues have always been a fickle phenomenon in the ongoing tale that is my life. Perhaps it’s because I had so few growing up. My childhood was one of privilege and opportunity. My father, Norton McCoy, was able to provide a very comfortable life for me and my mother as a scientist at Lawrence Livermore Laboratories. Not only did he put food on the table, he opened me to a world I seemed destined to be a part of.

I remember the first day he let me visit the lab. I swear it was like a spiritual experience. Being surrounded by all that equipment, it made me feel like I was approaching a gateway into the mind of God. My father later said he knew from that look on my face that I would follow in his footsteps. I was perfectly content with that and I immersed myself in the world of science from the moment I was capable of understanding it.

Every moment of my upbringing, my parents nurtured my thirst for knowledge. They enrolled me in extra classes, sent me to private schools, and got me every book I could consume. My natural knack for reason set me apart from most children. I remember at my first science camp I asked so many questions to my teachers I practically confounded their work with the other children. At times I overwhelmed them and I probably did not make many friends in the process. It appears to be the beginning of an overall lacking of certain social skills that may very well have culminated in these recent troubles I face.

If there was a flaw in my persona my parents certainly didn’t recognize it. I gave them no clues to indicate as such because I was so immersed in science. Yet I did not become anti-social. I constantly put myself out there, asking questions to people who shared my passion for reason. In this my mother was quite helpful. She always had a silver tongue and a quick wit, something many of my less social peers lacked. It helped me move forward and excel both in school and in my activities. By the time I was seven I was making integrated circuits and skipping grade levels on a routine basis. I took an IQ test a few years later and was labeled a genius. Everyone seemed to agree. I was destined for great things. Then I got my first taste of hardship.

Hank paused for a moment before writing another string of words next to the question mark. They consisted of concepts such as hardship, coping, and understanding. He circled them as well and drew a line to the big question mark that was next to the other group of words. Stepping back a bit, he stared intently at the text and tried extrapolating the answer he so desperately needed.

Now I hope to finish in time for an update at the end of the week. If I don't, I'll be sure to post a message here along with an explanation. I don't imagine anything getting in the way of this update, but sometimes new issues come up. I'm deeply grateful of all the support I've had for the X-men Supreme fanfiction series. I really hope it continues. Such support encourages me to push this fanfiction series ahead. Please remember that active feedback and reviews help make X-men Supreme better. Please contact me with your comments at any time. I'll be happy to listen! Until then, take care and best wishes everybody! Excelsior!

Jack

Sunday, November 6, 2011

X-men #20 - New Teams of Awesome


At a time when no one seems to take a comic book seriously unless it's relaunching as a new #1, it feels kind of strange to be reviewing a book that doesn't have that magic number that every comic company uses as a sales gimmick. Then again, the latest adjectiveless X-men series already had it's #1 recently. Last year, it launched as part of a new series with the mediocre to the-fuck-is-this-shit? Curse of the Mutants arc. Since then the series has had it's ups and downs. For a while it's completely forgettable. Then somehow it manages to be relevant and gripping again with stories like Chris Yost's X-men First to Last. It's a series I've tried to forget about, but like an addiction to crack it keeps pulling you back in.

Now I still like the premise of this book. It was billed as a series that has the X-men work with other major players in the Marvel universe. I like that idea, but like a certain Texas governor might say the execution leaves much to be desired. The most recent arc had the X-men mix it up with the FF. Again, it sounded nice on paper, but it got boring fast. That and it was completely swallowed up by the events of Fear Itself and Schism. Unlike other books like X-23 or X-men Legacy, it didn't have the kind of quality or impact to overcome the competition. It might as well have been another report that the Tea Party movement has racist elements in it.

Now Schism is over and every X-book is readjusting to the new dynamics. Victor Gischler's X-men is no exception. Unlike the pre-Schism world where the X-men's heavy hitters like Cyclops, Emma Frost, and Wolverine played such a large role, the post-Schism world is built around a new team. This team is responsible for security on Utopia. They won't be the flashy heavy hitters in Uncanny. They'll be the forces waiting in the shadows that will slit your throat if you try to sneak on Utopia and threaten mutants or steal Emma Frost's panties. It has some familiar faces. Warpath and Domino are present, who haven't done jack shit since Cyclops disbanded X-Force. Storm is the leader because restricting her to Uncanny would just be an insult to her and the forces of nature as a whole. We also have Vampire Jubilee playing a role, which is to be expected since Gischler made her a vampire. As such, he's stuck with her and all the Twilight jokes I'll make from it. Psylocke will also be part of the team, but this presents a problem because she's still shown as being part of Wolverine's X-Force. How the hell could she manage that? Well since Angel looks like he'll be MIA after the Dark Angel Saga, she'll have plenty of free time on her hands. Whatever the case, it's a tough new team and X-men #20 shows their first touch of action.

The first security threat of this post-Schism X-men book comes from the same threat that triggered Schism in the first place. If those without brain damage will recall, sentinel technology was leaked all over the world and being traded like crack on the black market. As expected, giant robots hold a certain level of appeal for certain people of a certain level of douche-baggery. Domino, being the kind of woman that can't stay away from trouble or skin-tight outfits, decides to peak in on this thriving new market. Given her luck, it doesn't take long for her to find something.



It's your typical deal with shady military types, who are the comic book equivalent of Nazis in real life. They're always up to no good. They have a real, shiny sentinel that they're just itching to sell for all the cash and/or vodka some rogue nation can spare. Domino isn't doing anything fancy yet. Like the kid who hides in the locker of the women's dressing room in high school, she's playing the role of voyeur. Well that doesn't last long because just like real arms deals, this deal goes bad when some unexpected guests drop in and try to swipe the merchandise. They don't know Domino's role, but they assume that any woman wearing leather outside of a strip club is bad news. So they start shooting with her usual luck, she gets away. However, she doesn't get any closer to find out who's dealing in giant robots now.


Enter the X-men's new security team. Cyclops gives Storm her first mission. He reveals that they know about as much about these new sentinel buyers as Rick Perry knows about evolution. They're a security threat so she sends her security team which includes Psylocke, Warpath, Jubilee, and Colossus to track down Domino and get some answers. And if necessary, beat them out of the appropriate people.

It seems basic enough, but it's actually a remarkable moment for this series in a way. For the most part, Gischler's X-men has been pretty detached from the other X-books. This is the first real instance where a plot is taken directly from recent events. It was the spread of sentinel technology that triggered Schism. Now that event has created this event. It's a much needed touch of coherence to the X-books and that alone constitutes an upgrade in this new Regenesis status quo.


This basic plot takes a very unbasic twist when on their route to bust up your typical sentinel ploy, War Machine shows up. And he's not there to lend a hand or try to get access to Emma Frost's panty drawer either. He politely explains that there's a situation with couple of fictional countries in Symkaria and Latveria that involves troops along boarders that shouldn't be there. NATO is about to declare a no-fly zone and begin aggressive diplomacy. Which Storm is smart enough to understand is code for "Get the fuck outta here. We're about to start bombing shit." She doesn't argue with the guy. She's too polite for that. Keep in mind, she's Queen of Wakanda for more reasons besides T'Challa not being able to resist the power of her pussy. That means when she says politely that she'll leave, she really means she's just going to find a way to work around your bullshit. War Machine is about to find that out the hard way.


However, this little land dispute that War Machine mentioned isn't just pulled out of thin air as an excuse to put War Machine in an X-men book. It's actually related to the shit the X-men are investigating. Again, Gischler shows he's improving by making a few connections. Remember that ridiculously named country, Symkaria? Well there's also a region near that boarder that's got an even worse name, Puternicstan. In this contested area, the local governor who happens look like Hillary Clinton with bigger balls reveals that she was the one that jumped that sentinel deal. Apparently, she thinks having a giant killer robot will help in a conflict like this. I'm sure Michelle Bachmann would think the same thing once someone convinced her that praying won't make it go away.


When the X-men arrive, they find that Domino has gotten that perfect ass of hers into trouble again. She followed the sentinel and in her effort to politely ask a few difficult questions, the soldiers that went through the trouble of guarding the sentinel politely tell her to fuck off with their guns. And no, that's not a niche porn series. That really fucks up their ability to use stealth in this operation. But if they were concerned about subtlety, they probably shouldn't have sent Domino in the first place.


All this lack of subtlety and the repeated gunshots that often follow any battle involving Domino tend to attract attention. It's the kind of attention that a guy like War Machine just isn't going to ignore. So as soon as Storm's team sets foot on ground, War Machine shows up to politely remind them that they lied to his face. By that I means he throws a fucking grenade at them and picks a fight with Colossus. Now I don't know shit about politics or diplomacy, but even when someone lies to your face and defies international orders it's still probably not a good idea to attack the guy with metal skin first. I mean seriously, that's like going to a whore house and fucking the girl that looks most like a man. Unless you're looking for something fucked up, you're not going to be get far.


Even if they are defying international law, the X-men don't take kindly to anyone throwing shit that explodes at them while attacking their friend. So Colossus, who mind you still has Juggernaut power, fights back after War Machine gets in a lucky blow or two. I don't care how high tech that suit is. Against a power like Juggernaut, he might as well be wearing Lady Gaga's meat suit. Then there's Storm, a woman who can control lightning. And the guy's suit is made of metal. Seriously, it's not a fair fight and War Machine should fucking know better. It's like his machine was programmed by George W. Bush. Shoot wildly now. Figure out a strategy later.


While War Machine is still smoldering from a lightning bukkake, Storm explains to him in a very impolite way that the X-men are there to find their friend and track down the sentinel. We can expect War Machine to care as much about that as Dick Cheney cares about the Geneva Convention. There's some urgency to her tone as well. Because while War Machine is getting in their way, that sentinel the Puternicstan thugs stole became active while they were tweaking it with the finest technicians that Eastern Europe could offer. Since Domino made such a racket shooting off guns, the big bad robot came to life and did exactly what it was programmed to do. It started hunting the closet mutant, which would be Domino. This time she's not lucky enough to get out of the way. Sucks for her because now she's in the line of fire and the X-men are being held up by War Machine. It's a messy situation that demonstrates this new security team has plenty of room for improvement.


Once again, I'm a bit torn with this series. Victor Gischler's adjectiveless X-men hasn't been good enough to praise, but it hasn't been bad enough to drop either. It's been slightly above mediocre for the most part. This issue was only slightly better in most respects. Gischler did a great job setting up the new team and tying the events of this story with the recent events of Schism. It's the first time in quite a while that the adjectiveless X-men feels like it's part of the greater tapestry of the X-books. War Machine's presence along with the added gritty elements of involving the black market help give this book a unique feel compared to the other books. It's definitely worth buying and it's definitely a fitting addition to Regenesis.

Yet still, it doesn't exactly do much to really establish itself as it's own brand of awesome. The interactions between Storm and War Machine were lukewarm at best. The action was somewhat mild at times and the dialog was a little flat. The general theme is good. The story is solid. It just lacks the details to make it truly awesome. Compared to books like Uncanny X-men #1 and Wolverine and the X-men #1, X-men #20 really can't put itself in that same category. It has all the potential to be as awesome as the big two, but it just isn't there yet and I'm still willing to give Gischler a chance to get it there.

The whole post-Schism era of the X-books has raised the bar for the X-men. Marvel has really amped up their standards and for the most part, they've been met by other X-books. X-men #20 has been the odd man out for a while now. It's like the guy with 10 silver metals wanting to punch the guy with only one gold. It has the ability to compete, but it needs some refinement before it can. For a final score, I give X-men #20 a 3.5 out of 5. It's a new team, a new mission, and a new series of threats. Everything feels new, but only to a point. It won't blow your mind or make your dick hard, but it will entertain you enough to want to keep it handy if you're stuck on a toilet working off your last trip to Taco Bell. Nuff said!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

X-23 #16 - Cosmic Power + Teenage Girl = Awesome


Cosmic forces are like the herpes of the Marvel universe. They don't always show up, but they always come back and there's no cure for it. Just ask Jean Grey. At a time when the X-books are relaunching, reorganizing, and in some cases fucking up the established order of the X-men it's rare to find a book that is untouched by recent events. X-23 has been one of those books that exists in it's own small pocket within the same universe. The ripples from Schism haven't reached it yet, but that's not a bad thing. It's been like that one baseball player that hasn't taken steroids. It doesn't get the praise it deserves, but it's still awesome in it's own right and doesn't have nearly the same embarrassing side-effects. Yes, that was in reference to shriveled balls balls.

Marjorie Liu has demonstrated a diverse range for X-23. In some arcs she can be just another messed up teenage girl in need of a little TLC. In other arcs she gets involved with big time superheroes and takes on cosmic forces that could reduce her to bones and use them to pick it's teeth. What's even more remarkable is that Liu finds a way to make all this fit within the same narrative. It's helped make her X-23 series a unique gem among many that the world of X-men has been churning out lately. This latest arc has a different tone, but it's like the tone of a dinner bell to a pig in many ways. It has new elements that X-23 hasn't faced before, but Marjorie Liu finds a way to make them awesome.

By now the mysteries have been cleared up without the help of Scooby and the gang. After "borrowing" a machine that looks like an Apple TV prototype from a physics lab, X-23 met up with the FF to discover that the Enigma Force, your average Marvel cosmic entity, was in deep shit. It's old enemy, King Whirldemons, is trying to invade Earth using that same physics device. Apparently, the FF didn't read the user agreement. It led X-23, Spider-Man, and Sue Richards to go on a little cosmic quest that led to a confrontation with this cosmic king.

Just when it seemed as though X-23 had beaten it, the King Whirldemons revealed that he set up shop in Valerie Richards. As you would expect, Reed and Sue have a big fucking problem with this. He's going to use Valerie to tweak the device so he can let his frat buddies in from his own dimension. X-23, despite not getting along with Valerie from the get go, shows she's more ballsy than your typical teenage girl and tells the king to use her instead. So you go from a child genius to a child killer. This has one of those "it seemed like a good idea at the time" moments. Or maybe it's a "and then we started drinking" moment.


I don't know how much X-23 has been drinking, but she somehow managed to convince King Whirldemons to leave Valerie and enter her. It sounds like a metaphor for date rape, but it actually helps establish more connections with other parts of the story. If my drug-ravaged brain isn't mistaken, it was X-23's presence that kick-started the machine that was supposed to let King Whirldemons into this world. So it's only fitting that she be the douche-bag landlord that kicks his ass out. Plus, her being imbued with some cosmic energy makes her that much more badass.


Just as she predicted, as soon as King Whirldemons is in her in a completely non-sexual way, the device that acts as a key to the big king's world activates. Reed Richards, bless his brilliant mind, thinks he can find a way to reverse it. But this is one instance where balls beats brains and X-23 has the edge in that department. So she takes the device from Reed and uses it to open a gateway. Thing tries to stop him, but he might as well be trying to stop Twilight fans from getting in line to see another movie with Robert Pattinson not wearing a shirt. A wall of rock just ain't gonna cut it.


X-23 arrives in King Whirldemons and it's about as inviting as John Wayne Gayce's windowless shed. King Whirldemons goes onto taunt X-23 as most overly powerful male entities would do to any teenage girl. We learn there's a little method behind X-23's seemingly selfless sacrifice for Valerie. King Whirldemons isn't able to control X-23 as easily as she is Valerie. It's pure pragmatics. She has a lifetime of experience resisting the control of overly powerful douche-bags that want to use her to fuck up the world. So in many ways she's more equipped than anyone to handle an asshole like King Whirldemons. He doesn't seem to care. He still taunts her in ways only witnessed in German dungeon porn, which against X-23 is usually a bad idea.


But King Whirldemons takes it a step further. Remember that symbol on X-23's hand that was revealed way back in X-23 #3? Well King Whirldemons says he's seen that symbol before, but not for a long time. So he takes a closer look. And by closer look I mean he cuts X-23's fucking arm off. Now this sounds extreme, but it wouldn't be the first time X-23 has had her arm cut off. For her, that's akin to a papercut. This time she heals in a much more efficient way. That strange symbol that King Whirldemons was so fascinated by apparently doesn't like him. Because as he ticks it off, it starts glowing. Then when X-23 puts her arm back, she gets a full dose of cosmic power. This is the Enigma Force again and it's the kind of power that in the hands of a teenage girl can make any dimensional being shit himself.

Now X-23 and cosmic power sound great on paper, but the way it's done here still feels a little random. Majorie Liu established a connection of sorts back in #3 and clarified it a bit further in the previous issue. However, if tapping this power was so easy then why didn't she do it when she was stuck in the same limbo with Spider-Man and Sue Richards? That's never fully explained. It's usually one of those details that Marjorie Liu doesn't skip. Now maybe X-23 just wasn't in a position to use the power before, but a little clarity would certainly have helped here.


Now armed with a cosmic power in the same tradition as Dr. Manhattan from Watchman, minus the exposed dick, X-23 tears into King Whirldemons and his forces. She treats them with the same respect she treats anyone who once worked for Weapon X. King Whirldemons seems to be getting a boner from it at first, but X-23 proves that she can wield a cosmic power and still be pretty badass about it. Keep in mind she's still at an age when some girls can't even handle a fucking credit card, let alone a cosmic power. But then again with the way banks are run these days, cosmic power and credit cards aren't too distant in terms of power and danger.


We get a few nice pages of cosmic caliber ass-kicking. It's not as detailed as scenes with Cyclops and Wolverine beating the shit out of each other, but it's still pretty awesome. X-23 has never been one to let a battle drag out. So she and King Whirldemons go at it for a while. He doesn't seem all that concerned when he claws and guts him repeatedly. He tells her that in cosmic form, this shit can go on longer than a Simpsons marathon. Well X-23 doesn't have that kind of time. She didn't come here to kill King Whirldemons. She came here to make sure he stays locked in his dimension. So when a little star appears in the sky, she somehow takes this as a signal that she's ready to leave. Again, it's a bit random and it's lacking on details. But King Whirldemons is pissed off so that's proof enough that he wanted to avoid this shit.


After bidding a not-so-fond farewell to King Whirldemons, X-23 takes off into another dark void not unlike passing out drunk. The Enigma Force offers some words of encouragement. Again, it's a bit light on the details as to how this defeats King Whirldemons, but it offers some compelling hints that this won't be the last time X-23 wields cosmic power. When all is said and done, she wakes up with the FF again. She's back to her normal self, which probably feels like a real drag. But she's okay and she has the thanks of Sue Richards. She did save Valerie so she can effectively add her to her friends on Facebook. She may not know it now, but making friends with other heroes like the FF will go a long ass way in the future. That's something most teenage girls don't figure out. Being a bitch to others and shutting them out really leaves you shit outta luck when you need help down the line.


So X-23 is back to her old self and no longer sporting cosmic dreads. Gambit later shows up to lend his support, never mind that he has done absolutely nothing this whole arc except hang out with Cecilia Reyes (and presumably try to bone her). Then she pays a visit to Alex Celebi back at the physics lab where all this shit started. Keep in mind, this arc started with her wanting to confront a kid whose parents she killed back when she was still just a letter, a dash, and a number. That whole plot seemed to fall to the wayside and in the end it's somewhat glossed over because X-23 ends up not telling him what happens. She just comes off as your randomly confused teenage girl that sucks with faces.


Now this may sound like a bit of a cop-out, but this time there are some added dimensions to it. After all the shit she just went through, X-23 can't even bring herself to tell this kid the truth. Gambit, who finally contributes to the story, offers a bit of a lesson. Sometimes it's best not to burden others with the truth if they're not prepared for it. This kid, Alex, was spared the shit storm that is X-23's life. Piling it on him just wouldn't be fair. She doesn't understand that as many young teenagers don't. It's not outright lying. It's just holding back the truth for the sake of keeping the world moving forward. It's a good lesson and one that helps add some needed progression to X-23's story with this arc. Mixing it up with cosmic power is all well and good, but this series is still a personal journey for X-23 and that means she's going to learn a few tough life-lessons along the way.



Now what can we make of this arc? It certainly started off with a sense of solid progression. X-23 learned about Alex Celebi in the previous arc and spent the first part of this arc tracking him down. The whole encounter with the FF followed by a romp with the Enigma Force and King Whirldemons was entertaining in the traditions of cosmic Marvel and all, but in the end it didn't have that same sense of progression that made so the rest of Marjorie Liu's X-23 arcs so compelling. In the end she just finds Alex, who seemed completely unaffected by what happened with his twisted physics experiments, and lets him go. It seems like the whole plot with the FF was too detached, like taking the long route to a destination that isn't as scenic as you would hope. But then again, that's the risk you take when you do an arc about a cosmic power.

Yet in the end, there was still some sense of progression in X-23's journey. After leaving Alex behind and learning a lesson or two about the merits of lying, it follows the same themes that Marjorie Liu established with other arcs. Cosmic force or not, X-23 learned something about herself here and made a few friends in the FF in the process. Moreover, Marjorie Liu made it work for her. She showed X-23 battling with forces trying to control her on a new level and once again, she overcame them. She did it while establishing some interesting dynamics between her and the FF and while maintaining X-23's evolving persona. For that, this arc is still a success.

I enjoyed this issue and this arc. Granted, it was a little convoluted in the middle and a little incomplete in the end, but the last two issues helped clear everything up in a way that makes the book feel solid. Marjorie Liu shows that she can write an X-book without having to get it involved in all the melodrama of events like Fear Itself and Schism. That helps make X-23 special in it's own right. Even though this arc was a little detached plot-wise, Liu maintains the same themes and establishes some new relationships with X-23. As such, I give X-23 #16 a 4 out of 5. X-23 is moving up to the big leagues! Her draft stock is rising faster than Andrew Luck. As her world starts to intersect with the post-Schism world, Marjorie Liu has plenty to work with and when you've got a messed up teenage girl at the center of it all there are just so many ways it can be awesome. Nuff said!