All New X-men #15 Cover (Warning: Will Make You Sick)

I try not to give much stock to covers of comics. I know they're basically just a miniature billboard from companies that say, "Hey! Buy me no matter how shitty the contents may be!" But every now and then a cover comes along that is too sickening to ignore. Case and point, All New X-men #15

I just threw up through my eyes.

Yeah, that's Beast and Jean. I'm disgusted too. I've imagined many sick things while jerking off while high on blow. But this is too sick. I've got nothing against Beast. I've got nothing against Jean Grey. But them together is just wrong and that's coming from a drunk that swallowed a piece of already chewed cum that he took from a strippers snatch.

This is what the soliciation says:

ALL-NEW X-MEN #15
BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS (W) • DAVID LAFUENTE (A)
Cover by STUART IMMONEN
• Love is in the air!
• Cyclops heart and future start to fade before his eyes.
32 PGS./Rated T+ …$3.99

So basically, it amounts to Bendis torturing O5 Cyclops. All those years of him banging Emma Frost and karma has to come back to fuck with him at some point. That said, this is the kind of shit I worried about when All New X-men was announced. By fucking with the time stream, Bendis could continue the trend of writers having utter disdain for established relationships like Cyclops/Jean or Peter/Mary Jane. Throwing two characters together like this isn't just wrong. It's the kind of shit that makes you think less of people, both fictional and otherwise. Beast knows Jean is in a fucked up place and he knows outright that Cyclops loves her. Hooking up with Jean would be a dick move on par with fucking up the space time continuum. Not only that, he was the same asshole yelling at Cyclops in the first issue of All New X-men.

In addition, this issue is supposed to be the issue where O5 Jean finally confronts Rachel Grey according to Bendis. We don't know what that meeting will entail, but given how shit like this has been avoided it would be pretty fucked up if it got glossed over. However, Marvel has a talent for glossing over shit that boarders insanity so I wouldn't put anything past them.

Maybe these are just my own fucked up tastes, but this kiss along with an issue dedicated to breaking Cyclops's heart sounds like the kind of shit that would undo all the good that All New X-men has done under Bendis since it began. And that would be a fucking tragedy on the level of the Hindenburg. I can only take some comfort in the knowledge that covers can often be deceptive.

Suck it, KKK!

Yeah, this is the best recent example. That kiss is very misleading in that it didn't exactly happen the way you think. I could go into details, but I'm too drunk and I still have vomit on my shirt. But there was also this.

Suck it, Hefner!

This amounted to nothing as well. And in the long run it did jack shit. I hope this is the case with this cover and I hope Bendis won't take the One More Day approach with Jean Grey. We already saw how shitty that can turn out in the pages of X-men Forever, a series that got canceled early. For a series on the level of All New X-men, we don't need that kind of bullshit. Nuff said!