Friday, March 21, 2014

Amazing X-men #6 Preview - Awkward Re-Birthday Party

I’ve been to more than my share of awkward birthday parties and I’m not just talking about the ones that end with me getting drunk and picking a fight with a clown. That happens enough whenever the circus comes to town. Some parties are just so awkward that I have to slip myself a rooffie just to get through it faster. Sure, it sometimes ends with me being tied to a playground slide with no pants and clown makeup on my face, but some awkwardness is more tolerable than others.

I imagine this is the kind of awkwardness that Nightcrawler will experience once he returns to world of the living on a full-time basis. It has already been revealed in future solicits that Nightcrawler will not be sticking around Heaven, hanging out at Jimmie Hendrick’s concerts and smoking joints with Bob Marley. He can’t stay dead if he’s getting his own series written by the patron saint of X-men comics himself, Chris Claremont. But coming back to the world of the living means being reminded just how much the world sucks. And since Nightcrawler has been dead, the amount of suck has increased considerably.

When Nightcrawler died during Second Coming, the entire mutant race could live on one tiny little island in San Francisco. The team was still united under Cyclops’s leadership, Charles Xavier was still alive, and Rachel Grey was still stuck in space with Havok and Polaris. Since then, a whole lot of crazy shit has happened. First came Schism. Then came Avengers vs. X-men. Then the O5 X-men were plucked from the past, brought to the present, and eventually alienated to the point where they joined Cyclops, who happens to be a wanted fugitive. I know Nightcrawler is a man of great faith, but even God couldn’t give him the strength to process this shit.

But he’s going to have to find that strength because in an unlettered preview released by CBR, Nightcrawler is going to have a nice little re-birthday with Wolverine at a bar. But while he might be content to just get drunk and wait to catch up on all the crazy shit that has happened since his death, Cyclops decides to crash the party. Then Mystique decides to crash it as well. So now he, Wolverine, and pretty much everyone else on the team is going to have even more reasons to drink. That usually means the party will be even more awesome or it’ll be even more of a disaster. Either way should be pretty fucking entertaining.

This April, the journey comes to its end as the blockbuster Quest for Nightcrawler arc reaches its epic conclusion in AMAZING X-MEN #6. From critically acclaimed creators Jason Aaron and Cameron Stewart – they have battled the very forces of hell to return Kurt to his rightful place beside the X-Men, and his resurrection is within reach. But to defeat Azazel and his demonic hordes – Kurt will have to sacrifice everything! Plus – don’t miss the confrontation that will have everyone talking: Nightcrawler vs. Mystique on the grounds of the Jean Grey School. You do not want to miss the epic conclusion when AMAZING X-MEN #6 hits comic shops this April!

This is once instance where it doesn’t really matter if the preview is unlettered. It’s easy to tell that Cyclops showing up is going to be more awkward than Rush Limbaugh at a mosque during Ramadan. But what the hell can he possibly say to Nightcrawler? I don’t think either of them have forgotten that Nightcrawler died because of Cyclops’s efforts to rescue Hope fucking Summers from Bastion. In hindsight, I don’t think that was a fair trade in the slightest. Now Nightcrawler is probably the second most forgiving person who ever lived after Jesus. But how is he going to forgive Cyclops for that shit? Let alone what happened to the Professor. It’s already clear that Nightcrawler sides with Wolverine in the current schism. Is there any hope that this won’t end with a bar fight? I say it’s a 50-50 shot at this point.

Then there’s Mystique. Fuck me with a habanero pepper, there’s Mystique. Maybe 10 years ago, this encounter might be a bit more interesting. But for the past several years, Mystique has firmly established herself as an unrepentant psychopath who just enjoys tormenting her enemies and that’s about it. She has none of the depth or the charisma she used to have. She might as well be a fucking Terminator at this point. She’s still sexy as hell, but she has done nothing to show that she’s anything more than a psychopath. Now she has a chance to see her son again who she thought had died. And from the looks of it, this doesn’t change jack shit.

Now maybe it’s because I had a hell of a crush on Mystique during my awkward youth before I discovered internet porn, but I fucking hate what has been done to her. Now here’s an opportunity to change that and maybe make Mystique a little more than just some crazy psycho bitch. But instead, she’s going to just keep being that crazy psycho bitch. It’s probably not going to change Nightcrawler in the slightest. Hell, I think he’s used to having psycho parents at this point. But it’s a missed opportunity to actually do something better with Mystique and like my last drug test, any opportunity of it turning out well is all pissed away.

I still love that Nightcrawler is coming back. He gives some badly needed heart to the X-books at a time when the shit storm from Avengers vs. X-men still hasn’t settled. He’s one of the best parts of the X-men’s future and hopefully the O5 X-men get to experience that. There are so many awesome things that could come from Nightcrawler’s return and it all begins in a celebration full of beer and awkwardness. That couldn’t be more appropriate without strippers, but since Emma Frost is showing up as well I think they’ll have that covered. Nuff said!

1 comment:

  1. It's been years but at least Mystique was interested, emotionally, in Kurt during the Wolverine goes to hell arc. She said that the only reason she decided to help Logan was because of his relationship with Kurt. Kurt might be here to help redeem her ( she's been ridiculously cynical since Xavier died). It'd be doper if Kurt got to be a little cynical though. I'd love to see him struggle with the world he left behind and his faith.