Twists, Turns, and Burns: Superwoman #2

The following is my review of Superwoman #2, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

We don't like to think about what happens to our beloved toys when they become outdated or obsolete. Most of the time, we're content to forget about them and enjoy our new toys. This happens a lot with characters as well, most of which are clones, time travelers, or visitors from an alternate universe. We expect their presence to become obsolete or unnecessary in most cases. Our expectations with post-Flashpoint Lois Lane are a bit harder to discern.

As with Superman, DC: Rebirth went to great lengths to put a lot of genies back in multiple bottles with Lois Lane. In addition to having another Superman replace the one that died, we also get another version of Lois Lane. She's the classic wife and baby mama of Superman and her story is now part of the overall Superman narrative. This leaves post-Flashpoint Lois Lane in a state of limbo, one she seems to fill by becoming Superwoman.

Unfortunately, her run as a superhero lasts for one issue. It ends quite abruptly. There are chess matches between the Flash and Batman that last longer. Superwoman #1 ends in a way that makes the premise of the series feel like the fine print of a bad user agreement. It gives the impression that post-Flashpoint Lois Lane is obsolete and DC Comics just threw her away the first chance they got. Superwoman #2 attempts create a story around this act, but it's a story built on a shaky, overtly fraudulent foundation.

Post-Flashpoint Lois is basically turned into a catalyst for Lana Lang to become Superwoman. It's not a classic act of "fridging" a female character. Lois Lane isn't murdered or butchered as a means to push Lana's story. She's just cut out of the dynamic, ensuring there's only one Superwoman. The fact that the Superwoman who doesn't have a counterpart from an alternate universe survives is quite telling.

By taking Lois Lane out of the narrative, the tone of Superwoman #2 takes a dramatic shift. It's either callous in that Lois' death quickly becomes a side-note or just flat in that Lana's story fails to be that compelling. To his credit, Phil Jimenez makes a concerted effort to develop that story. It certainly helps that Matt Santorelli's art creates the right tone and ambience. It just never comes off as anything more than a consolation prize.

That story still has elements of mystery and intrigue. Superwoman's first major nemesis is revealed as Lena Luthor. It's a fitting, if not overly standard dynamic. If there's going to be a female Superman operating in the DC universe, then there should be a female Lex Luthor by default. In the spirit of gender equality, it's only fair.

There's also never a sense that Lena Luthor is just a female version of Lex either. She goes out of her way to make that clear to Lex, albeit in a very uncomfortable manner. Then again, that only makes her more worthy of her role. If Superwoman #2 has a strength, it's that it doesn't try to just push female characters into male roles. It lets its female characters be female. It's one of those concepts that shouldn't feel so novel.

Even if Superwoman #2 checks all the boxes in terms of gender dynamics, it fails to check many more. The story quickly becomes choppy and bland. It's less about Superwoman and more about Lana Lang reacting to Lois' death. These reactions are lacking in emotional weight and only serve to put her in a position to fight more monsters. For a character as iconic as Lois Lane, this just comes off as crass.

Lana does get a good assist from her current lover, John "Steel" Irons. He plays the part of a supportive boyfriend, but not much else. He does little to move the story forward or add emotional depth to the situation. He may as well be Lana's personal assistant, who she just happens to be sleeping with. By and large, he just doesn't do enough to make his presence feel relevant.

In principle, there's no reason to doubt that Lana Lang can be a compelling Superwoman. She has the personal connections, the spirit, and the desire to do the job. Within the context of this story, however, her ability to be Superwoman is essentially tied to the fate of Lois Lane. She's not being Superwoman because she feels inclined to use her new powers for the greater good, as Superman would. This story gives the impression that she's embracing this role because of Lois. That excuse may work for Peter Parker, but it doesn't work for Lana Lang.

A big part of Superman's core is that he does the right thing simply because it's the right thing. He doesn't need any other reason. That is the only real reason that matters. Superwoman #1 sets up all the right dynamics to continue that legacy. Superwoman #2 just throws it away, trying to create other reasons that only undermine this ideal.

In the end, the intent of Superwoman #2 is commendable, trying to set Lana Lang up as Superwoman and establishing the necessary factors. The results, however, are shallow and stale. It also gives the impression that post-Flashpoint Lois Lane was a character that DC Comics couldn't wait to get rid of. Now that there's another Lois in place, who perfectly complies the decades-old traditions that dare not be broken, the concept of Lois Lane being Superwoman gets thrown away. It's not just a missed opportunity. It feels downright petty.

The heart and soul of what makes a Superman comic what it is just aren't there. They didn't necessarily die with post-Flashpoint Lois Lane, but there isn't much effort to salvage those elements either. Lana Lang may still develop into a viable Superwoman. She just has a lot of forces working against her and even the strength of Superman may not be enough to overcome them.

Final Score: 4 out of 10

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 21: War and Peace and Love is LIVE!

It’s official! My first ever Superman/Wonder Woman story is complete. It took a good chunk of this year, but I did it. I told a story of DC’s ultimate power couple and completed it. I’m not going to lie. It was a uniquely challenging story. I’m not talking challenging in a way like Lost or Fight Club. I’m not even talking about the challenge that comes with capturing the passion and heart of these two characters. The sincerity of Superman and Wonder Woman’s love is never in question. It’s the world around them that presents the challenges.

Those same challenges are reflective of them being the heroes they are. They each possess so much power, both physically and personally. Superman has the power to move planets and demolish cities. Wonder Woman has the power to kill gods and destroy entire armies. However, they don’t use their power in that way. Even when they get a chance to resolve a conflict with power alone, they choose not to use it. That’s what makes them heroes and that’s what makes them such great characters.

Throughout this story, I put Superman and Wonder Woman in some very difficult situations. Superman had a chance to defend himself against the hostel Amazons. He chose not to. He endured their wrath and that of Ares. He did so because he understood that power alone is not an effective way to solve a problem. Wonder Woman understood that too. That’s why she went into the same battle, knowing the gods had turned everyone she loved against her. But she didn’t let that stop her from doing the right thing.

Now, Superman and Wonder Woman have set a powerful example for the gods and for the Amazons. They proved through their compassion and their love that there is a better way. In this final chapter, the example they set starts to take hold. That, in many ways, is their greatest power and the greatest testament to their love. It stands as an example and an ideal for others to strive towards and it marks the culmination of a story that has come so far.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 21: War and Peace and Love

When I began this story, I knew I was taking on a challenge. Superman and Wonder Woman are difficult characters to write, but that’s exactly what makes their stories worth telling. I told a story of how they came together and how their love helped them overcome overwhelming odds. The response I’ve gotten from this story has been fantastic, especially from Superman/Wonder Woman fans. With that, I hope to tell another Superman/Wonder Woman story down the line. For now, this is the end of my first attempt and I hope it’s as awesome as DC’s ultimate power couple deserves to be. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 20: Remorse and Reconciliation is LIVE!

Sometimes the hardest part of the battle is the aftermath. When the bullets stop flying and the dust starts to settle, the impact finally sinks in. For some, it’s traumatic. For some, it’s a relief. For others, it’s a chaotic mix of conflicting feelings that’ll give even the Lex Luthors of the world migraines. But in many respects, it’s the most important part of a story.

That’s the point I’m at with “Strangers In Paradise.” That’s right. My first ever Superman/Wonder Woman story is in the home stretch. It’s been quite an experience, one that has tested my abilities in ways I never expected. But I like to think I rose to the challenge. I like to think I lived up to Superman and Wonder Woman’s standard, both as characters and as a couple. The previous chapter acted as the big, climactic battle. Every conflicting force converged from the gods of Olympus to the plot by Lex Luthor. In the end, Superman and Wonder Woman triumphed. They won the day. But what about tomorrow?

This is where the true core of Superman and Wonder Woman’s relationship is at its best. These are two insanely powerful characters. At numerous points in the story, they could’ve crossed certain lines to make it easier on themselves. However, they never concerned themselves about how hard a decision was. They only ever cared about doing the right thing, both as individuals and as a couple. That, more than anything else, is the strength of their character and their love.

In any relationship, doing the right thing will always come with more obstacles than choosing an easier path. Most flawed human beings will be hindered at some point. But Superman and Wonder Woman represent an ideal. For them, there’s no debate. They don’t try to walk that fine line between right and wrong. They will do what is right for them and for others. That’s what makes them so strong as heroes and as lovers. And that’s what I intend to show as the dust settles in this story.

Strangers In Paradise
Chapter 20: Remorse and Reconciliation
There’s just one chapter left now. My first Superman/Wonder Woman story is just about complete. There are a few more loose ends to tie up. There are few more emotions I want to capture before I put the finishing touch on this story. I’ve been very pleased with the support I’ve received from Superman/Wonder Woman fans thus far. I hope it continues as this story concludes. Please remember to take the time to review or post comments. I’m always happy to chat, especially if it means making my stories more awesome. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 19: Pain and Sacrifice is LIVE!

It took me longer than I hoped. You can thank unexpected complications and the New York Comic Con for that. But I still did it. I updated Strangers In Paradise. I know. I know. I'm a sick son-of-a-bitch for making readers wait nearly a month for the next chapter. I ended Chapter 18 with such a juicy teaser that I should be locked in a public restroom at a Jets game with no air freshener for not updating sooner. But between the delays Marvel has had with Secret Wars and the delays DC had with Forever Evil and Convergence, I think I deserve some credit. It's not like I pulled a Bryan Hitch or anything.

But it's true. This chapter is the culmination of Superman and Wonder Woman's struggle in this story. First, they came together in their youth. Second, they found each other years later after so many obstacles. Third, they built a powerful, meaningful relationship despite those obstacles. Now, in the final test of their struggle together, they must trust in each other completely to overcome a threat that was born from both their worlds.

Lex Luthor has usurped the power of the gods. He willingly cooperated with Ares and Apollo in a plot to overthrow Olympus. Had he been like the many mortals of myth, they might have succeeded. But Lex Luthor is no ordinary mortal. He's the smartest, most ruthless mortal that the gods have ever dealt with. They thought they could control him. They were wrong. In the end, it was Luthor who manipulated them. Now, he has both the Annihilator Armor and the power of Erebus at his disposal. Now, he's set to unleash this power on the world and take his rightful place as the true Man of Tomorrow.

The only ones standing in his way now are Superman and Wonder Woman. They stand as the final obstacle between Lex Luthor and ultimate triumph. But if they're to stand a chance, they'll need to trust in both each other and the influence they've had on those around them. Superman and Wonder Woman dared to defy the traditions of those around them, be it the people of Metropolis or the Amazons. They dared to show that love, trust, and understanding can be more powerful than hatred, fear, and mistrust. Will those efforts pay off? That's what this final battle will reveal.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 19: Pain and Sacrifice

The final battle is here, but the impact it makes has only begun. That impact will affect more than Superman and Wonder Woman. While this is a critical test in their relationship in terms of sharing each others' burdens, it is also a major turning point for those around them. What will this mean for Wonder Woman's exile? What will this mean for Olympus? What will this mean for Clark Kent? Those are all questions that will be answered in time. But for now, the big battle is here. And it's shows Superman and Wonder Woman at their best. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 18: Blind Darkness is LIVE!

There are certain villains that are in a class all their own. They don’t just embody all the traits we associate with evil and malice. They do it with a skill and refinement akin to a world class artist. In that sense, Lex Luthor is the Leonardo Da Vinci of supervillains. In fact, Lex Luthor would probably say that compared to him, Da Vinci was a hack. And the disturbing thing is he’s probably right.

If all the villains in comics were put into an arena and ranked as a whole, then Lex Luthor would be in the uppermost tier, most likely mocking all those who think he’s on his level. He’s a special kind of villain. There’s no doubt about it. He doesn’t just think he’s superior. He knows he’s superior. And for the most part, he’s absolutely right. According to his own Wikipedia entry, he is the most intelligent human being in the DC universe and one of the most intelligent beings overall. He doesn’t have superpowers, but with genius like his he doesn’t need it.

He’s not just smart. He’s got an ego that’s second to none. He never sees himself more than a man, but he believes his genius to be equal among gods. It’s that unique ego that has put him in a unique position in Strangers In Paradise. The Amazons and the Gods of Olympus are all powerful and daunting in their own respect. However, they’ve never dealt with a man like Lex Luthor. Ares and Apollo thought they could manipulate him, as the gods have manipulated mortals for centuries. They were wrong.

It was never a matter of if Lex would outsmart Ares and Apollo. It was only ever a matter of when. And in the previous chapter, just as Ares had unlocked the Tomb of Erebus, that time came. Lex made his move. He dared to defy the will of the gods. And he succeeded where every mythological hero before him failed.

Lex’s involvement in this conflict is very much a culmination of Superman and Wonder Woman’s greatest challenge in building a relationship. They went to such great lengths just to get together. But at some point, they were going to get caught up in each others conflicts. Superman was going to get caught up with the Amazons again. And Wonder Woman was going to get in the crossfire of Superman’s enemies. Between Lex Luthor and renegade gods, this is a conflict that they can’t hope to overcome on their own. In the greatest test of their relationship to date, they must stop Lex Luthor together. And that test begins now.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 18: Blind Darkness

There aren’t a lot of forces that can match the collective power of Superman and Wonder Woman. Together, they’re two of the most powerful beings in the DC Universe. However, Lex Luthor is still the smartest. And now he’s got the power of gods with which to fight. It’s the kind of clash that will either make them stronger or break them completely. This is still my first ever Superman/Wonder Woman story and I wanted to make the final battle be sufficiently epic. Thanks to Lex Luthor, I think I’ve achieved just that. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 17: Allied Hearts is LIVE!

There comes a point in every conflict where the forces of karma have a way of balancing out a massive clusterfuck that has become too lopsided. It doesn't always happen at once. Sometimes the process of biting someone else in the ass takes time and patience. The Vietnam War is proof enough of that. But when the enemy is Ares, the God of War, and a Lex Luthor, who might as well be the God of Ego and Baldness, there isn't much room for patience.

This is part of the challenge in writing a Superman/Wonder Woman story. These two characters are among the most powerful characters in the history of comics. Superman has moved planets, destroyed solar systems by sneezing, and made a sex tape with Big Barda (see Action Comics #592 and #593). Wonder Woman has battled entire armies, slain gods, and held the title of both Queen and Goddess. Even Disney would say she's pushing it. So when these two forge a relationship, who or what could possibly be strong enough to stand against them? It's a challenge, but it's one worth taking on.

At this point in my story, Superman and Wonder Woman have walked right into the trap laid by Ares and Lex Luthor. They entered the domain of the gods and they got beat. It wasn't because they were too weak either. Ares, Lex Luthor, and Apollo outsmarted and outwitted them. They put them in situations where they couldn't just fight their way out. It's the perfect tactic and one that even the strongest can't avoid. Now Superman is Ares' prisoner and Wonder Woman is in an unwinnable battle against Lex Luthor and her corrupted sisters.

However, all that cunning and treachery comes at a price. Eventually, even the gods and Lex Luthors of the world will piss off enough people that they can't avoid the backlash. And sometimes that backlash is more powerful than a romantically linked Superman and Wonder Woman. With the stakes getting higher and time running out, that backlash is set to begin. But will it be enough? That's what this latest chapter of "Strangers In Paradise" will start to reveal.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 17: Allied Hearts

The conflict is escalating to its highest point and so are the emotions. This is a conflict that Superman and Wonder Woman cannot overcome with their might as individuals. This is something that they'll have to get through together. It's a true test of strength, trust, and love. And it's only going to get harder as time runs out. But they wouldn't be much of a Power Couple if they couldn't rise to the challenge. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 16: Front Lines is LIVE!

There are a number of ways for a strong relationship to stay strong, but there are always many more ways to destroy it. Sometimes, those ways that destroy a relationship are outside anyone’s control. Nobody chooses their significant other to have asshole parents, crazy ex-lovers, or enemies at the IRS. Sometimes that’s just how shit plays out. If they love each other enough and fight hard enough, a couple can overcome this. Sometimes it takes money, lawyers, and a significantly bruise ego (among other things), but it can work.

For Superman and Wonder Woman, they’re kind of used to having crazy, fucked up forces working against them. Superman tries to fight for truth, justice, and the American way in a world where Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders are serious presidential candidates. Wonder Woman tries for honor, compassion, and empathy in a world where dictators, tyrants, and reality shows undermine every one of those concepts. They’ve been able to fight those battles pretty well on their own. Then, they come together and they have to fight an entirely different set of battles to make it work. But for love, that shit is worth it.

I know it’s cheesy. I know it’s the basis for every song by every boy band in history. But no matter how cynical or jaded someone might be, they understand on some levels that love is worth fighting for. So as I’ve explored Superman and Wonder Woman’s relationship in “Strangers In Paradise,” I’ve tried give them a worthy fight. That’s not easy. These are two of the most powerful characters in the DC Universe. Superman can wipe his ass with entire planets and Wonder Woman can bust the balls of every male creature within the same galactic neighborhood. But in this story, they face a threat that no amount of brute strength and cheesy love songs can solve.

Right now, they’re facing a shit storm convergence, courtesy of familiar faces that just love stirring up shit. Lex Luthor, the gods of Olympus, and the Amazons have all coordinated to create the kind of conflict that tests more than just their relationship. Superman and Wonder Woman are basically at ground zero of a divine clusterfuck with Lex Luthor providing extra lube. Ares has subdued his father and taken over Olympus. Apollo has set up shop in the mortal realm. The Amazons are now being mind-controlled by Ares and Lex Luthor is packing divine muscle in the Annihilator Armor. Even by Superman/Wonder Woman standards, this makes for a pretty shitty day.

And it’s about to get worse. Superman and Wonder Woman have already taken the first steps into this shit storm, working together as best they can in an effort to stop it. But even with their power, they can only do so much. And they’re about to find out just how shitty it’s going to get. All I can say is they’re going to need more than a romantic getaway to recover from this one.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 16: Front Lines

This isn’t just about testing Superman and Wonder Woman’s relationship. It’s also going to test their resolve and their ideals, as any great struggle against those who stir up shit storms ought to. It’s not enough to test them physically. It’s not even enough to test their relationship. The way they go about being heroes is always being challenged and they have to find a way to rise to that challenge. But this is one challenge they can’t take on as individuals. They have to do it together.

Again, I know that sounds like a lyric from an old Brittney Spears song, but it’s true. Even two of the most powerful beings in comics can be challenged in a way that doesn’t feel bland and contrived. It’s a hard story to tell, but it’s one that’s worth telling. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 15: Heart Shaped Box is LIVE!

There comes a point in every relationship where just leaving the toilet seat down isn’t enough. Despite what every love song since 1955 might claim, it takes more than just love for a relationship to succeed. Most stories about relationships center around the will they/won’t they dynamic that Friends exploited to no end. Others revolve around love triangles or hook-ups that make every romantic comedy more predictable than GIECO commercial. With Superman and Wonder Woman, there seems to be a concerted effort to not stick to every formula that Disney has ever tried.

Getting together was the easy part for these two in the comics. In “Strangers In Paradise,” I made them work for it a little more. They had to fight just to have a chance to get together, but I never intended that to be the full story. To really make this relationship stronger, I set out to challenge them in a major way. But I didn’t want that challenge to come from another love interest. The last thing Superman/Wonder Woman needs is a fucking love triangle. Unless it’s in a porn parody of Man of Steel, it just has no appeal. For this story, the challenge goes beyond their relationship, but it’s not something they could’ve avoided.

Right now, “Strangers In Paradise” is entering a very volatile conflict. While Superman and Wonder Woman have been working on establishing their relationship and sharing their lives, their enemies have been plotting. The gods of Olympus are causing trouble again. Lex Luthor is causing trouble too, as only he can. Even the Amazons are getting in on the act. What makes this conflict so difficult is that Superman and Wonder Woman made all the right decisions for all the right reasons. Wonder Woman was right to leave her home when she did. Superman was right in not fighting the Amazons all those years ago. But despite their efforts to do the right thing, their enemies are still trying to tear them apart.

Now, as this conflict finally finds them, their relationship will face its biggest challenge to date. It’s not enough to just get through this together. They have to be stronger as individuals as well. That’s what makes a relationship solid, the ability to make each other stronger. Superman and Wonder Woman could probably fight this battle without being romantically entangled, but they would never be able to fight it with the kind of strength they give each other as lovers. The struggle is going to escalate and so are the emotions. It’s bound to get volatile, but in all the right ways.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 15: Heart Shaped Box

This story has been an interesting exercise in exploring a relationship between two iconic characters. It’s been challenging, but insightful. I believe we’re entering an era where people just aren’t satisfied with the same formula for love stories. We’ve seen enough crap with the Ross and Rachels of the world. Let’s try something different and that’s exactly what I think the Superman/Wonder Woman relationship offers. And I hope to capture it in the pages of “Strangers In Paradise.”

Since it’s still my first ever Superman/Wonder Woman story, please take the time to submit feedback. I appreciate any reviews anyone can offer, constructive or otherwise. It’s the only way people like me will be able to tell stories that are more interesting than a Hugh Grant movie. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 14: Homeward Bound is LIVE!

The gods of mythology often represent the best and worst of humanity. Some of the stories surrounding these mythical figures are pretty fucked up. I imagine some of them weren't told while in a completely sober state of mind. That's not entirely wrong. An entirely sober mind is not a full human mind in my opinion. That said, there are a number of themes that have played out in these mythological tales that have found their way into stories about Superman and Wonder Woman.

Part of what makes these two so compelling as characters and as lovers is how they represent the ideals they espouse. Superman is the epitome of a male hero. Wonder Woman is the epitome of a female hero. They are the standard by which their peers are measured. And some of the greatest stories about them occur when their peers fail miserably to measure up.

That's what's happening in Strangers In Paradise right now. Superman and Wonder Woman have been trying to build a strong, lasting relationship. They came together after being torn apart by forces beyond their control. Now some of those forces are trying to destroy them. With Superman, it's Lex Luthor trying to prove himself again. For Wonder Woman, it's her sisters and the gods she once served abandoning the ideals that she championed. Neither one of them did anything wrong in making the decisions that brought them together. But to those around them, doing the right thing just isn't enough.

Now they have to pay the price for being in love and making the right decisions. That's exactly as unfair as it sounds, but you won't hear Superman or Wonder Woman complain about it. They will still do the right thing, even if it means testing their relationship and confronting those who gave a big middle finger to the values they champion. The price of doing the right thing is about to get very high for them, but they won't be without hope. It's part of what makes their relationship so compelling. And it's going to be the key to overcoming the challenges before them.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 14: Homeward Bound

Being the embodiment of an ideal and being in love is supposed to be a challenge. However, in the same way real relationships encounter problems that can't be foreseen, Superman and Wonder Woman will have to do the same. And these are problems that they might not be able to overcome on their own. If they're to have any hope at all, they need to rely on each other and trust each other. That's what makes them true embodiments of modern legend. It also makes them even sexier on so many levels. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 13: Crown of Thorns is LIVE!

There comes a point in every relationship where one partner's problems become the other's by default. The good relationships are able to share in the burdens. The bad relationships usually end up on Jerry Springer. As much as I love Jerry Springer, that's not the kind of story that I've been telling in Strangers In Paradise. That said, not even Jerry Springer could deal with the kind of conflicts that Superman and Wonder Woman are dealing with it. Springer can deal with fat strippers and hillbilly incest all day long. But problems that involve Lex Luthor and a pissed off God of War are way beyond him.

I spent the first part of this story just establishing the circumstances in which Clark and Diana had to come together. They faced a lot of challenges, but they were able to overcome them. However, getting together was just the first big challenge. Now they're trying to share each others' lives and shoulder each others' burdens. With Lex Luthor rubbing elbows with the Olympians, that's an unholy clusterfuck if there ever was one. But like I said, it's what helps distinguish some strong relationships from all the others.

Clark and Diana have had six months to establish the basics of their relationship. Now they need to jump a few levels to the advanced shit because Lex Luthor and Ares are about to make their move. It's going to affect them in a big way and it's going to force them to trust each other in ways that usually doesn't happen without a pre-nup or an overpriced diamond ring. Superman and Wonder Woman can take on damn near anything with their strength and abilities, but this is something that requires more than that. It's a test of their wills, their hearts, and everything in between. And they can't rely on Jerry Springer to mediate the conflict.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 13: Crown of Thorns

The line between good relationships and bad relationships isn't nearly as thin as we think. Some couples put in a real, genuine effort. Others expect everyone else to put in the effort for them. In the same way Superman and Wonder Woman represent the ideals of masculinity and femininity, they also represent the ideals of functioning relationships as well. And the strength of that relationship is going to be tested in a huge way in this story. In the post-Jerry Springer era, it's rare to see functioning relationships being celebrated. But I think for these two, it's worth making an exception. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 12: Family Ties is LIVE!

I know I've probably said it before on this blog. I might have even gone on a couple of drunken rants that I can't remember. But I'm fucking sick of love triangles. I'd like to publicly state to every TV show, comic book publisher, and movie that love triangles have been done to death, so much so that they might as well fuck the corpse. There have been so many bullshit love triangles in comics that I'd prefer a bad hangover to reading about another one at this point. It already ruined the X-men movies and nearly every 90s sitcom. We don't need it ruining anything else.

I say this because when I started writing "Strangers In Paradise," I committed to avoiding having a love triangle between Superman, Lois Lane, and Wonder Woman. A story like that is like a carwash that runs on elephant piss. Nobody can go through it without smelling afterwards. That's why I made sure that there would be no love triangle here. Lois Lane has someone else she's in love with. This means Clark and Diana can pursue their relationship in peace and focus on more pressing issues, like planning romantic nights on the surface of the moon or testing the bed springs at the Fortress of Solitude. Their relationship has already started to mature and I don't need a damn love triangle to set it back. They're about to have enough problems on their hands.

This is how the second part of "Strangers In Paradise" will unfold. It took six years for Clark and Diana to come together again. Now their relationship is going to be tested in a big way. They've got the Olympians, the Amazons, and Lex Luthor working against them, plotting all sorts of ways to screw them over. It's going to test their love and their trust for one another in ways no love triangle ever could. And it begins with this chapter.

Part of that process involves Lois Lane taking on a different role. She's not going to be Superman's love interest. She's not going to be Wonder Woman's rival either. She's going to be something else entirely. Lois doesn't need to be Superman's love interest/damsel to be interesting. I'm a firm believer that she can be awesome on her own accord and that's exactly what I hope to accomplish with this chapter and future chapters, among other things.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 12: Family Ties

So if you're reading this story hoping to see Diana clash with Lois, I'm sorry to disappoint. You'll have to look elsewhere for that shit. There's a time and a place for Wonder Woman and Lois Lane to clash, but it's not going to be in this story. This story is going to focus mostly on Superman and Wonder Woman building a relationship in the midst of a fuckton of new challenges. If you're interested in that, then I think you'll have a smile on your face and a boner in your pants. Nuff said!

Revealing Strengths and Vulnerabilities: Superman #39

The following is my review of Superman #39, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

The concept of a secret identity is a lot harder to contemplate in an era where identities are only as secretive as a botched instagram post. It was probably a lot easier decades ago when only the CIA, the DEA, and George Lucas utilized elaborate camera tricks. So someone like Clark Kent could get away with having a secret identity, especially with all the skills and powers that come along with being Superman. Over his history, he’s had to elaborate and creative. He’s not like Batman, who has enough money and gadgets to make most of his identity issues go away. But in this era, elaborate and creative just isn’t enough.

This creates a logistical problem of sorts for Superman. He lives in an era where phone booths are as extinct as eight-track tapes and everyone has a camera in their pocket. Yet somehow he’s still able to keep his identity secret from his friends, his family, the NSA, and Fox News. It’s one of those issues that’s easy to shrug off because it’s been part of Superman’s mythos since the 1940s, a time when a camera cost a mortgage payment. But after discovering a new power and keeping all his secrets solely amongst the Justice League, he’s taken a chance and revealed his identity to someone.

It’s overdue and it lacks impact, but it’s still an important development. Superman #39 explores that development in wake of the conflict surrounding Ulysses. It’s a development that didn’t have much of a transition, but it still counts as a pivotal moment for Superman. It even ends up being more than pivotal. It offers a refreshing insight into what makes Superman the ideal by which all heroes are measured.

The revelation itself isn’t the center of the story. It essentially starts a conversation that ends up going way beyond the merits of a secret identity in the 21^st century. Jimmy Olson’s reaction is fairly predictable. It’s not overdone or overly dramatic. For a character like Jimmy Olson, that’s appropriate. He’s still this wide-eyed kid who sees the world from the perspective of someone whose spirit hasn’t been crushed by mortgages, bills, and the IRS.

To Jimmy Olson, his best friend being Superman is like finding out his best friend just bought a Ferrari. It’s shocking, but in a good way. Nobody faints. Nobody gets mad. He doesn’t whine about his friend lying to him all these years. He just accepts it and embraces this revelation. It might come off as bland, but it’s not callous. He doesn’t shrug it off or get overly worked up. And it’s because Jimmy’s reaction is so healthy that Superman can offer some perspective about what he’s going through.

In addition to revealing his identity, Superman is also dealing with not having his powers for a day. It’s one of the unfortunate side-effects of his latest Dragonball Z derived ability to generate a solar flare. But not having his powers doesn’t cripple him. He doesn’t tremble with fear and he doesn’t carry himself like he’s not Superman anymore. He actually embraces the opportunity to be fully human and having someone like Jimmy Olson to share the experience with makes it meaningful.

It’s probably the most mature way anyone has ever responded to a loss. Most people have a nervous breakdown whenever they drop their cell phone in the toilet. Superman lost the power that makes him Superman. That’s a lot more serious than simply not being able to Tweet from an elevator. But this loss doesn’t cause Superman to curl up into a fetal position and pray to Rao for the strength. It doesn’t even stop him from being Superman and this is where the true impact of the story shows.

Even though he’s fully human and completely vulnerable, Superman still doesn’t hesitate to help people in need. When a girl falls out of a tree, he helps her. When a crazed gunman takes a hostage, he does something about it. He does it when he’s just Clark Kent in normal street clothes. He also does it while he’s wearing his Superman armor. Not having his powers doesn’t change that in the slightest. He’s still Superman. He can still be the hero everyone needs him to be without his powers. In that sense, even other heroes who might complain about not being able to lift a freight train have no excuse.

The story doesn’t contain much in the form of style, nor does it offer anything decidedly epic like Superman’s final battle against Ulysses. But it does offer a beautiful reminder of why Superman is so iconic. It shows that Superman doesn’t do what he does because of his powers. In fact, his powers wouldn’t even rank in top five in terms of reasons why he’s the ideal by which all heroes are measured. He does the right thing, regardless of whatever power he may or may not have. That ideal is and always has been Superman’s greatest power.

This underlying theme is the greatest strength of the story. It’s a theme worth reinforcing. It’s easy to forget in between clashes with Lex Luthor and battles against alien warlords that Superman is more than the breadth of his powers. There will always be some satisfaction to the stories where he decks Lex Luthor and flies off with Lois Lane into the sunset. But there’s a different kind of satisfaction in stories that show why Superman embodies the ideals of so many heroes before and since his creation. It could be argued that him punching out Lex Luthor is more satisfying, but reinforcing those ideals is definitely more meaningful.

The story in Superman #39 isn’t overly epic. Revealing his identity to Jimmy Olsen doesn’t make for an overwhelming narrative, but it still does so in a meaningful way. It just ends up becoming secondary once Superman gets a chance to be Superman without his powers. It’s easy to be inspired by a man who isn’t afraid to do the right thing even when he can’t punch through a brick wall. But with or without Superman’s powers, it still doesn’t make glasses a viable disguise.

Final Score: 8 out of 10

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 11: Broken Dreams is LIVE!

I've noticed that for the most part, comics put a lot of effort into the story that hooks two characters up and only ever gives half the amount of fucks necessary to develop that relationship. It's like once two characters get together, everyone just shrugs and leaves it at that. Because that's exactly how it works in the real world apparently. That's all there is to this romance and love shit.

I wish there was a font for sarcasm because that would have made that last paragraph so much more meaningful. Instead, I'll just come out and say until recently, comics have sucked donkey balls at developing meaningful romance. That's why I've found the way DC has developed the Superman/Wonder Woman relationship so refreshing. They didn't just put them together. They've actually shown a little progression. Granted, that progression has been slow. But it's still world's better than some of the shit I've seen with other relationships. That's exactly what I'm trying to capture with my own Superman/Wonder Woman story.

I went to great lengths to make getting Superman and Wonder Woman together in a meaningful way. But that's not even half the story. That's an important part, but there's a lot more shit to deal with that I want to explore. Now that Clark and Diana are together, how are they going to progress? Can their relationship deal with the challenges that come? That's exactly what I'll be exploring moving forward and this latest chapter starts that process.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 11: Broken Dreams

Not every epic romance has to be built on the same misguided principles that made Twilight way more successful than it deserved to be. Good romance can emerge in a way that's balanced and compelling. It can both soak panties and evoke boners. It shouldn't be restricted to one gender or one kind of underwear. And that's what I hope to develop here with Strangers In Paradise. If I can make both genders equally horny by the end, then I'll know I've succeeded. Nuff said!

The (Lost) Promise of Paradise: Superman #36

The following is my review of Superman #36, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Many people, at some point in their lives, have been stuck living somewhere they would rather not be. Sometimes it's a bad neighborhood. Sometimes it's a bad roommate. Sometimes it's the girlfriend of a roommate that makes an otherwise bearable living situation into a test Job himself would fail miserably. In many of these situations, the best recourse is to leave and find someplace else. But what if that wasn't an option?

For many people, Earth itself is akin to living in a dilapidated housing project in downtown Detroit with a crack house on one floor and a team of insomniac tap-dancers on the other. It is estimated that there are approximately one billion people living in extreme poverty. If these people were offered an easy escape for themselves and their families, most would take it without a second thought. It's perfectly logical for any rational human to escape from a bad situation. But being logical and rational in a world where Duck Dynasty is a hit show is not always enough. This is the dilemma Superman faces in Superman #36.

It's no secret that Superman, with his limitless powers and access to technology that makes the iPhone look like it runs on vacuum tubes, could fix a lot of the world's problems. However, he doesn't do that for the same reason we wouldn't give cavemen an atomic bomb. It would create more problems than it solved. He wants to make the world better in a more noble, albeit tedious way. His new ally, Ulysses, has a different approach and it doesn't involve the typical General Zod approach either.

Ulysses is a lot like Superman in many ways, so much so in some respects that Superman could probably sue him for identity theft and win with the right legal team. His desperate parents tried to save him from a catastrophe, he grew up on another world, and he became imbued with great power. The main difference is that he is fully human and he returned to Earth thinking that it had been destroyed, much like Krypton had been destroyed. It put him in a position to be another hero on Superman's level, capable of inspiring mankind to be better while making the Lex Luthor's of the world cry themselves to sleep at night. But this is where the two characters diverge in a way that no legal team could argue around.

Whereas Superman sees hope in mankind's future, Ulysses came to a very different conclusion. He sees all the racism, poverty, bigotry, and reality TV shows as a sign that mankind is beyond hope. No amount of inspiration can save them. Ulysses says outright that he could help mankind cure all disease, end all war, and even help them create an iPhone uses Adobe Flash, but it wouldn't be enough. Mankind would still find a reason to be miserable, like some self-immolating goth kid in high school. So he offers them a different solution that Superman has never dared to offer.

He makes what is essentially a limited time offer on an infomercial. For six million lucky humans, he will transport them in his ship to his former home in the Fourth Dimension. He claims that this is a place where humanity can have a brighter future, one free poverty, fear, and internet video ads that can't be skipped or muted. It's an enticing offer that's very different from the usual, "I'm strong enough to bench press a planet so do as I say," type deal. Naturally, it's an offer many people embrace like a Black Friday sale.

It's a powerful concept and one that puts Ulysses at odds with Superman in a way that goes beyond a typical Zod-style clash. These two men are very similar in terms of their powers and their desire to help humanity. The primary difference is that Superman believes mankind has a future worth saving. Ulysses does not. Maybe Superman missed the recent uproar over Kim Kardashian, but it's a profound difference that tests Superman's entire purpose.

Initially, Superman comes off as the unreasonable one. He doesn't think Ulysses is right to just broadcast this glorified infomercial to the whole world, offering them a planetary get-out-of-jail-free card. There might be some merit to that argument, but Ulysses resists the urge to channel his inner Lex Luthor. He makes clear that he's not forcing this on anyone. He's not threatening anyone. He's just giving people a choice. And for anyone who's behind on their mortgage or just happens to be a New York Jets fan, that's a pretty enticing choice.

It's the kind of struggle that could test Superman's underlying philosophy of how and why he does what he does. There's so much merit to what Ulysses is doing. He's almost more heroic than Superman on some levels. Unfortunately, this is not the struggle that unfolds. While he doesn't become another Zod or Lex Luthor overtly, he does imply that he's interested in their fan club.

This is where the struggle becomes vague yet predictable. When Superman confronts Ulysses and his parents, he essentially just Hulks out. There's no real debate. There's no test. There is a super-powered fight, but it's nothing that hasn't already been seen in the Man of Steel movie. But what makes it too predictable is Ulysses himself, going from someone who just has a different approach to saving humanity to someone whose willing to throw people in a meat grinder if it serves his goal.

There are still aspects to Ulysses' plan that haven't been revealed, but his quick reversion to a proto-Zod takes away from what was such a compelling concept. Superman #36 put Superman in an uncomfortable position where he had to confront some uncomfortable truths about his principles. Then, like a kid getting a snow day before mid-terms, he ends up not having to confront anything. It turns into just another struggle against a Superman wannabe gone bad. Ulysses' offer is still a viable concept, but now somebody else will have to steal it to see if it could work.

Final Score: 6 out of 10

Inspiration of an Ideal: Superman Unchained #9

The following is my review of Superman Unchained #9, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

For most of his history, Superman has faced many challenges. Most of them follow a pretty simple formula. Superman is the personification of all that is good and anyone who opposes superman is inherently evil. Therefore, the one opposing Superman is the bad guy and it's up to Superman to stop the bad guy and rescue a pretty girl, if necessary. It's a formula so simple that it's right up there with the basic addition that most kids learn in grade school. It's so basic that it can difficult at times to create meaningful challenges. It's like trying to find a way to make chocolate taste better. There's only so much that can be done.

Superman Unchained dared to take up that challenge. It didn't try to subvert that basic formula. It tried to expand it and despite delays second only to Half-Life 3, it succeeded. It didn't just present Superman with a worthy adversary in Wraith, who has the intimidating presence of Doomsday in addition to a real personality. It deconstructed his entire approach to being Superman, but not in the traditional "noble hero beats up evil villain" sort of way.

This in and of itself is a creative risk. To criticize Superman's commitment to being a hero is like criticizing the Dali Llama, but it still found a way to be meaningful. It helped create a complex narrative that (for those willing to endure the frustrating delays) told a story that highlights everything that makes Superman awesome. But the complexity of that narrative has created a lot of loose ends to resolve and Superman Unchained #9 attempts to do this and thereby make all those delays feel worth it. The results are as close to perfection as it can get without creating a whole new formula. It might not make chocolate taste better, but it still feels just as sweet.

The complex narrative that was so difficult to follow through the delays came together in as meaningful way as possible. There was no M. Night Shyamalan style twist. There were no shocking revelations either. They weren't necessary. It just took all the elements that were established at the beginning of the story and brought them together in a concise, coherent way. Nobody will be left scratching their head. None of the familiar characters involved do anything that will shock anybody. But it will still be satisfying. It's like vanilla ice cream, but with just the right blend of toppings to make it delicious.

That's not to say the story is wholly predictable. This is where Wraith, who entered the story as a Superman wannabe minus the perfect jawline, makes his impact felt. His growth as a character is one of the main driving forces of the conflict. He represented a completely different approach to being Superman. He didn't just fly around in a cape, beating up bad guys and flirting with pretty brunettes. He actually joined forces with the government and helped them shape world affairs. It is a direct violation of Superman's values, but it is presented in a way that has merit.

For a time, it feels as though Wraith's approach might actually be more valid than Superman's. Then, in his most defining moment, Wraith himself reveals why the formula that Superman follows works as well as any basic equation. It comes on the heels of another revelation about who Wraith is and what his people intended to do to Earth by sending him there. This is where the convergence of so many different elements becomes so satisfying. Thanks to Lex Luthor, Wraith now knows that he helped make Earth vulnerable to an invasion from his people. It's an invasion that Superman is in a position to stop. And he does, but not with the same power he usually uses against the Brainiacs of the universe.

It goes back to that basic formula of what makes Superman who he is. A big part of that formula is his power. This is a guy who can bench press a moon, fly to Pluto in the time it takes to cook a hot pocket, and brush off a nuclear explosion the same way most people brush off a light breeze. But his greatest power, by far, is his ability to inspire others to do the right thing. It's an inspiration immortalized by Grant Morrison in All-Star Superman and Russell Crow Superman: Man of Steel when Jor-El told Superman to be a beacon of hope for others. And Wraith, despite the kind of indoctrination that Fox News can only dream of, embraced that hope.

In the end Superman demonstrated the true strength of his principles. He was able to take someone in Wraith, who went out of his way to spit on Superman's values, and inspire him to do the right thing. What makes it all the more satisfying is that it came at Lex Luthor's expense. In the same way Wraith's nature was explored, Lex Luthor's disdain for Superman is given a depth far greater than that of a prototypical villain. He still comes off as the kind of guy who treats his ego like a rocket-powered Lamborghini, but he at least makes an effort to sound reasonable.

Lex doesn't try to come up with new excuses. He doesn't blame Superman for his hair loss or anything quite that petty. He makes clear that he believes Superman is holding humanity back and he attempted to put an end to that by forcing him to make a sacrifice. He just didn't expect Superman's ability to inspire others like Wraith to be so strong. It's the best possible rebuke Superman could've made without throwing in a bald joke.

The culmination of so many diverse elements make Superman Unchained #9 as satisfying a conclusion as anyone could hope for without enduring more delays. It makes all the right personal and emotional connections without getting too melodramatic. It's only real shortcoming is that the aftermath of this beautifully crafted conclusion is somewhat lacking. We don't get to see how Lex Luthor or General Lane react to Superman's thorough rebuke of their criticism. We're just left to assume they're all banging their heads against the wall in frustration. It might not be the most poetic ending, but it will still feel as sweet and satisfying as any piece of chocolate.

Final Score: 9 out of 10