Truth, Justice, and Unprecedented Achievements: Action Comics #1000

The following is my review of Action Comics #1000, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

In June 1938, the first issue of Action Comics came out, introducing the hero by which so many future heroes are still measured. Toady, it's impossible to assess the state of modern superheroes without appreciating the impact of Superman. From the early days of Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster to the modern era Geoff Johns and Dan Jurgens, the position Superman holds in the pantheon of the superhero genre is without parallel. He is very much the ideal in terms of just how great a hero can be.

It's hard to imagine how Siegel and Shuster expected their creation to evolve over the years. It's hard to imagine their reaction to the knowledge that this series that began in the latter part of the Great Depression would go on for another 1,000 issues that span eight decades, two reboots, a rebirth, multiple movie franchises, a slew of cartoons, and a never-ending supply of merchandise. Action Comics isn't just special to the brand of DC Comics. It's very much an institution, one in which the milestones carry even more weight.

That's why Action Comics #1000 is a truly momentous achievement for both Superman and the superhero era that he helped to start. It's one of those rare comics for which there is no template to draw from. No other series can offer insight into how such a milestone comic should be handled. That doesn't stopped DC Comics from assembling an all-star team of writers to pack plenty of content into a single comic with a $7.99 price tag.

With so much talent and so many reasons to celebrate, the expectations for Action Comics #1000 are almost too big to contemplate. Then again, much of Superman's entire appeal is his ability to defy the impossible, do what's right, and do it for the right reasons. He already embodies the ideal for multiple generations of superheroes. It's only fitting that he set the bar for such a milestone issue, if only to make things a little less daunting for Detective Comics and Amazing Spider-Man.

Action Comics #1000 doesn't try to reinvent Superman, push him to new extremes, or make him more up-to-date with modern audiences. More than anything else, it's a celebration of who Superman is and everything he represents. It's not just that he can fight off a fleet of alien invaders and make it back to his family in time for dinner. It's not just that he can outwit Lex Luthor, save an innocent woman being held at gun point in the blink of an eye, and even beat an army of alternate versions of himself.

These are all feats of strength and that's par for the course with Superman. There are plenty of superheroes in superhero comics, fiction, and mythology of all kinds with obscene strength. What sets Superman apart isn't in how he uses it. It's in how he inspires others with it. That's what sets Superman apart and makes him the kind of icon who can transcend decades, generations, and trends of all kinds. From upbeat and hopeful to grim and gritty, Superman finds a way to inspire. Of all the impossible things he does on a day-to-day basis, that's the most meaningful.

Celebrating that core ideal of Superman's character is difficult to do with just one story. Action Comics #1000 doesn't bother trying. Instead, it tells a series of short, concise stories that embody the best of who Superman is and why he's such an inspiration. Each story varies in terms of theme and challenge, but the message is the same. Superman doesn't just overcome the impossible. He raises the bar for everyone.

He can even do this without having to throw a single punch. In one story by Dan Jurgans, he attends a special celebration that Metropolis is holding to honor Superman. He's there as Clark Kent, but constantly worrying about other threats. Then, when he finally decides to don his iconic cape and red underwear, he finds out that he doesn't always have to be the one to right these wrongs. The people he inspires, from the heaviest hitters in the Justice League to the ordinary people on the streets, can do the right thing too when the opportunity arises.

In another story by Geoff Johns, Superman confronts the man who he hung from a telephone pole in the first issue of Action Comics in a fitting extension of that historic first issue. Whereas most other heroes are content to either let the man wallow in his humiliating defeat or just throw him in the nearest jail cell, as though that somehow is enough to make someone change their ways. Superman dares to go the extra mile

He talks to the man, but he doesn't talk down to him. Superman tries to relate to him, showing the kind of empathy and understanding that resonates with him. The fact that he can do this while being an alien from another world helps show the strength of Superman's humanity, despite the fact that he's not human. If he, an alien can embody that level of compression, then what's everyone else's excuse?

Through each story, there are insights into Superman's legacy and how he went about crafting it. They cover current and past era, referencing different timelines and iconic moments. Action Comics #1000 doesn't try to tie them all together through some elaborate sub-plot. While that renders the stories disconnected, they still convey the right message with respect to who Superman is and why his legacy matters.

Like the man himself, these insights are crafted to reflect an ideal. They show just how good a hero can be. They demonstrate that just being exceedingly powerful, able to stop a speeding train or break chains of Kryptonite, is not enough. The real power that makes Superman great is in how he uses it, doing the right thing and never hesitating to do so.

A being of his power can do so many other things, right and wrong. He's even tempted at times, both by circumstance and by men like Lex Luthor. No matter the situation or the challenge, Superman will still do what's right and he won't compromise that. He won't make excuses, either. That may make his decisions predictable, but the way he goes about making them only reinforces why he's an icon who has endured for so long.

The fact that Action Comics makes it to 1,000 issues, despite changing trends in culture and the superhero genre as a whole, is a remarkable accomplishment. Action Comics #1000 does plenty to celebrate the past and chart Superman's course for the future. There's still only so much a single issue can do to encapsulate over 80 years of heroics, even with extra content and a higher price tag. Since the stories are so short and focused, it's difficult to show the breadth of Superman's story through the ages.

For a hero like Superman, though, even a 1,000 page comic isn't be enough to tell every aspect of his story or why he's the most iconic hero of all time. It doesn't have to, though. Like the Man of Steel himself, Action Comics #1000 does plenty to raise the bar and bring hope to generations past and present. What started Siegel and Shuster nearly a century ago is still going strong today. It still seems impossible that any character could endear for so long, but that's exactly what makes him Superman.

Final Score: 9 out of 10

Broken Legacy Chapter 8: Scars and Bonds is LIVE!

I know it's been a long, tedious wait during sad, solemn times for Superman/Wonder Woman fans, but it's finally here. The last chapter of my second Superman/Wonder Woman story is complete. I know it's not quite as long or as epic as "Strangers In Paradise." I never intended it to be in the first place. I also didn't intend for this to focus entirely on romance. I wanted to explore other concepts along the way that I think are worth exploring. A part of me feels I didn't explore them enough, but I still made sure that this story had a satisfying ending of sorts.

Now I'm not going to lie. The recent developments between Superman and Wonder Woman in the comics with DC: Rebirth did affect this story. I started it off with the idea that I build layers on top of the core plot around Tyr-El, the Amazons, and Lex Luthor. Then, DC: Rebirth happened and I just didn't feel the same energy I felt during "Strangers In Paradise." I didn't have the will or desire to expand this story to same extent that I did with my last story. For this, I apologize.

That said, DC: Rebirth did not change the ending I had in mind for this story. I always intended it to be a story that would bring Superman and Wonder Woman together in a profound way. I made it much more personal and much more dramatic this time. They both had to fight bitter personal battles with their past and their legacies. Along the way, they connected. That connection helped carry them through the final battle against Tyr-El in the previous chapter. Now, this final chapter will complete that connection.

If you're a Superman/Wonder Woman fan, this chapter is what you've been waiting for. It's the culmination of all the personal struggles and personal dramas that have tormented these two as individuals. Finally, after all this emotional upheaval, they can come together a couple. It's a moment I've been building towards. It's a moment that I hope Superman/Wonder Woman fans will find satisfying during these difficult times.

Broken Legacy

Chapter 8: Scars and Bonds

As I've said before, this is going to be my last Superman/Wonder Woman story for the foreseeable future. I had some other ideas, but I now don't have the time, energy, or desire to pursue them. I now intend to focus my efforts on a few other projects, some of which I hope to announce soon.

That's not to say I'll never write another Superman/Wonder Woman story. If I get an idea that's just that good, I will pursue it. I don't like to leave ideas like that hanging. For now though, I'll let "Broken Legacy" and "Strangers In Paradise" be my primary contributions to Superman/Wonder Woman stories. To everyone who has supported these stories, as well as my other projects, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Deriving Novelty from the Inane: Action Comics #962

The following is my review of Action Comics #962, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

When is it okay to put the proverbial genie back in the bottle? Is it even possible to accomplish without destroying the bottle and everything within a five-mile radius? That radius may be much wider when Superman is involved. It may also involve more than one bottle. It sounds confusing and it certainly is. It's a major reason why the events of DC: Rebirth are affecting Superman more than most, but not because of anything Doomsday or Lex Luthor are doing.

DC: Rebirth decides with little to no depth that the genie needs to go back in the bottle. Superman needs to go back to his pre-Flashpoint method of operation. That means every meaningful change from the New 52 has to be nullified, rendered meaningless and pointless in the grand scheme of things. It gives the impression that the narrative of Superman and Action Comics is inherently shallow. It's not that nothing really happens. It's that nothing can happen that has any lasting impact on Superman.

Dan Jurgens is tasked with crafting a meaningful story with this narrative in the first post-Rebirth arc of Action Comics. However, the meaning is often lost in the confusion of all the contrivances attempting to purge New 52 impacts and the all-too familiar clashes with Doomsday. It can't acknowledge that Superman fought Doomsday on multiple occasions during the New 52 era. It can't acknowledge any dramatic entanglements that may or may not have occurred in that era either. It doesn't just limit the story. It flat out ignores the context.

If there is a strength within this confusion, it's Jurgens' efforts to re-frame Superman's story as a husband and father. Action Comics #962 tries to use this strength to complete an arc that relies too much on contrivances and disaster porn. It isn't enough to circumvent the flaws that inevitably emerge when putting Superman back into the pre-Flashpoint bottle, but it does keep the story from falling flat.

Any battle involving Superman and Doomsday has to be destructive. It has to be epic. This is the creature that actually killed Superman at one point. It can't be ended by one punch or by some secret gadget in Batman's utility belt. There has to be destruction, danger, and desperation every step of the way. Jurgens definitely goes the extra distance in capturing these elements. Stephen Segovia's artwork goes just as far in capturing the visuals.

Things blow up. Mountains crumble. The laws of physics are strained in ways that would make Einstein cringe. The aesthetics are definitely there. They help distract from the fact that this is a battle we've seen before. It's a battle that doesn't bring anything that new to the table. Other than Superman having a wife and son, there isn't much in this battle that hasn't played out before. It feels slightly more novel than seeing Batman punch the Joker again, but not by much.

Beneath the aesthetics though, there are still flaws. There's still a sense that this story has to ignore, negate, or undermine the stories that came before it in order to function. The substance of a battle between Superman and Doomsday may check all the right boxes, but the circumstances of that battle have too many blanks and details have some distressing implications.

While the outcome of the battle is never in question, the effects it reveals along the way are telling. It basically pulls back the curtain and shows the actual process of putting Superman's various genies back in the bottle. The revelation of his secret identity is undermined. His romantic history with Wonder Woman is flat out ignored. Lex Luthor's efforts at being a superhero come into question in a way that's fairly predictable. Ignoring circumstances may work with the Joker, but it doesn't work with Superman.

There's little mystery. There's tension. The purpose and goal of this new era of Action Comics is clear even if it's stated indirectly. Superman is going back to the way he was before the Flashpoint reboot. The only difference now is that he has a kid. That may keep the story from feeling regressive, but it still comes off as contrived.

That said, Jurgens manages to make the most of Jon's presence. His personality and youthful charisma add some much-needed novelty to the story. He also creates an extra dimension of drama with Superman. Him being a family man on top of being a superhero helps add some new dynamics to battles that have played out before. He's able to make those dynamics work in Action Comics #962. Peter Parker would be wise to take note.

DC: Rebirth, as a concept, works because it doesn't try too hard to be edgy or modern anymore. After years of trying too hard to make every character more like Batman, this initiative attempts to re-focus on the basics. The approach works when it happens organically and naturally with the characters. With Action Comics and the Superman comics as a whole, there's too much force behind the effort. Superman defines himself by being careful with his vast powers. It's a lesson that DC Comics would be wise to heed.

In this case, putting the genie back in the bottle causes the bottle to crack and fracture. At the very least, Action Comics #962 keeps it from shattering completely. There are one too many predictable plot lines, but there are also new and interesting dynamics emerging within the story. It doesn't prevent some parts of that story from being inane at times, but it still finds a way capture the heart of what makes Superman so iconic.

Final Score: 6 out of 10

Broken Legacy Chapter 7: Blind Injustice is LIVE!

Maybe it's just the romantic in me, but I believe every romance has a defining moment of sorts. Sometimes it comes before a couple gets together. Sometimes it comes after several decades of marriage. Sometimes it comes on a Sunday afternoon during a football halftime show. It's hard to really quantify, but these are the moments that make a romance powerful. So why should that be any different for DC's resident Power Couple?

DC's Rebirth event may have horribly undermined Superman/Wonder Woman in the most contrived way possible without the aid of powerful hallucinogens, but there's no question that they shared plenty of moments. From that magical moment in Justice League #12 to the end of Charles Soule's first arc in the criminally underrated Superman/Wonder Woman series, this romance had more moments than every season of Friends and Two and a Half Men combined. It gave DC's Power Couple plenty of power. Now, I hope to create a moment like that in "Broken Legacy."

As I've said before, this series is not on the same level as my first Superman/Wonder Woman story, "Strangers In Paradise." I never intended it to be. It also doesn't help that as I'm writing this story, DC Rebirth is delivering a heavy gut punch in a dozen nut shots to the Superman/Wonder Woman romance. It makes getting motivated on this story pretty difficult. As such, it will be my last Superman/Wonder Woman story for the foreseeable future. That can always change, but for now, I'm going to treat "Broken Legacy" as my last Superman/Wonder Woman story in the near-term.

That means I have to take these last two chapters and make them extra awesome. I've already set the stage for the final showdown between Superman and Tyr-El. It's a showdown that has a lot of emotional stakes. Wonder Woman is part of it now as well since Try-El got the Amazons involved. Just like in "Strangers In Paradise," this is a battle that Superman and Wonder Woman can't win on their own. They can only win it together. It sets the stage for one of those powerful moments that Superman/Wonder Woman fans sorely need at a time like this. I hope this story can provide it.

Broken Legacy

Chapter 7: Blind Injustice

The future may look bleak for Superman/Wonder Woman in the comics. This may be a romance that DC will table indefinitely as they try to make their comics line up with the themes of their upcoming movies. Despite the best efforts of Rotten Tomatoes, DC and WB will try to capture the most classic elements of their heroes. Sadly, that doesn't leave a lot of room for Superman/Wonder Woman. I hope that my contributions through this and my other stories can help fill that void. Until then, I'll focus on making the final chapter of "Broken Legacy" as awesome and heartfelt as it can be.

Broken Legacy Chapter 6: Divine Conventions is LIVE!

There’s a time to shake things up and there’s a time slow things down, but there’s never a time for outright regression. No matter how it’s packaged and no matter how it’s presented, regression is toxic to characters, relationships, story, and everything in between. This is what has me so dismayed about the current state of Superman and Wonder Woman with DC Comics right now. While some characters, like Aquaman and Batman, are allowed to progress, Superman and Wonder Woman are basically being forced back into the box they were in before Flashpoint. It’s tragic because it basically abandons all the progress that they made as characters and as lovers.

Tragedy or not, it does help give what I’m going in Broken Legacy more meaning. I’m developing this story with the idea that Superman and Wonder Woman, who they are and what they stand for, can be deconstructed without regression. I like to think I’ve taken some chances and pushed these characters into unknown domains. It has been dramatic, strenuous, and challenging. However, the payoff is just around the corner.

The stage is set. The final showdown is here. Superman is laying everything on the line to stop Tyr-El. He can’t win this fight as Superman. He can’t even win this fight as Clark Kent. He has to be Kal-El. He has to be the last surviving son of the House of El. That’s the only way he’s going to preserve what’s left of his legacy. Moreover, he needs to trust that Wonder Woman can preserve hers. Now that the Amazons are involved, she has just as much to lose and just as much to gain. It’s a battle of high emotions and high drama, one which will change both characters in a major way, but it sure as hell won’t regress them. And it all unfolds in this latest chapter.

Broken Legacy

Chapter 6: Divine Conventions

As I’ve said before, I don’t have any plans for other Superman or Wonder Woman stories after this. Plans do change though. While this story hasn’t garnered the same support as Strangers In Paradise, not that I expected it to, I am continually amazed at the passion and support by fans.

The Superman/Wonder Woman crowd are proud, passionate bunch. The support they give writers like me can’t be overstated. I know these are dark times for them and they’re bound to get darker with DC’s current policy of constant regression. I hope that changes, but for now I hope to do my part with stories like Broken Legacy. There are only a couple chapters left, but I intend to make them count. For beleaguered Superman/Wonder Woman fans out there, I hope to make it worth the wait. Nuff said!

Broken Legacy Chapter 5: Rising Bloodlust is LIVE!

Let’s face it. There are some topics that DC will just never touch with Superman. He’s too much of an icon and an ideal to ever address tough issues that make people feel too uncomfortable. There’s no question that if he wanted, Superman could fly all over the world and confront atrocities like war crimes, refugees, and mass exploitation by governments and criminals alike. It exposes the very depths of human corruption and depravity. It’s just too hard and distressing to create a story about that.

I like to think I’ve made a concerted effort to tell that story in Broken Legacy. It isn’t just a Superman/Wonder Woman story. It’s a story about them dealing with a very sensitive, very harsh issue that will never be mentioned in the comics. These aren’t just unpleasant secrets surrounding who their ancestors are or who Zeus knocked up. These are direct affronts to every concept of justice that we as a people value. It’s not Lex Luthor trying to take over the world. It’s the scars left by atrocities that cannot and will not heal.

Tyr-El is the personification of this concept. He is on a different level compared to Lex Luthor. It’s not about ego or greed for him. He just has a goal and he’s willing to torture, maim, and desecrate anyone or anything that gets in his way. In fact, he will go out of his way to do just that if it makes his goal more stable and achievable. That’s what makes him a threat unlike anything Superman, Wonder Woman, or the human race have ever faced before. It’s also what makes him so dangerous.

This story has set up and confronted all these grim concepts. Now, it’s time to set up the final clash. As I’ve said before, I have had to tweak this story at times. The recent events of the comics, especially those surrounding Superman, have made it difficult to make this story on the same level of Strangers In Paradise. It’s just hard to put that kind of energy into a story when inspiration is lacking. However, I am still committed to completing this story in as satisfying a way I can. This chapter should set the stage for a defining resolution that I hope Superman/Wonder Woman fans will enjoy during these dark times.

Broken Legacy

Chapter 5: Rising Bloodlust

I don’t yet know how many chapters this story will end up being. Again, don’t expect anything on the scale of Strangers In Paradise. I always intended this story to be more concise and focused. It may be my last Superman/Wonder Woman story for a while, but that’s just all the more reason to make it awesome as it can be.

Broken Legacy Chapter 4: Deep Wounds and Deeper Scars is LIVE!

Like many fans of DC Comics, I’ve been caught up in the universe-warping nut punch that is DC Rebirth. Once again, DC Comics is sick of Marvel hogging the market share. Once again, they’re trying to boost their share in ways that make Alan Moore want to bang his head against the wall. I’ve had mixed feelings about it, but I know that for Superman/Wonder Woman fans, DC Rebirth might as well be a knife in the heart.

There’s no way around it. DC is basically just abandoning the concept of Superman/Wonder Woman in favor of more familiar territory. They need their comics to line up with the movies and the nearly 80-year history of their comics more. Sure, that means tearing their continuity yet another asshole and pissing all over Watchmen yet again, but they’re trying to satisfy every generation of fans. As such, there are sure to be fans who miss out. In this case, it’s Superman/Wonder Woman fans.

Personally, I think it’s a heaping load of horse shit that DC killed off one version of Superman just to make room for another. They basically rendered the act of killing the most iconic hero in the history of comics utterly pointless. Think about that for a moment. They made killing fucking Superman of all characters pointless. That takes some weapons grade bullshit. I could make multiple blog posts about how fucked up this is, but I’m going to temper my opinions out of respect for ailing Superman/Wonder Woman fans.

I admit the recent developments in the DCU have undermined my passion for my Broken Legacy story. Don’t get me wrong. I’m committed to finishing it. It’s just hard to get too excited about something that DC just went out of their way to piss on. I was hoping to update sooner, but disappointment has made it hard to really get into it. In fact, I might end up shortening the story because I just don’t have the energy or passion to draw it out like I did with Strangers In Paradise. I’ll still try to make it as awesome as can be and that’ll continue with this issue.

I know there hasn’t been a lot of Superman/Wonder Woman moments in this story so far, but that’s about to change in a major way. Both characters have suffered a blow to their legacy and identity. That’s going to bring them together in a profound way, but not before they take on the daunting threats before them. That process and the drama behind it begins with this chapter.

Broken Legacy

Chapter 4: Deep Wounds and Deeper Scars

Like I said, I’m still committed to finishing this story. However, it might end up being my last Superman/Wonder Woman story for a while. I had some ideas in the works, but it’s hard to put much energy into them after the recent developments in the comics. I hope that changes, but for now I’ll try to make the most of this story.

Broken Legacy Chapter 3: Confrontation and Subjugation is LIVE!

Perfection does not come easy and it doesn't take much to taint. Just ask the 2007 New England Patriots. We, as flawed human beings, have a hard time wrapping our heads around ideals. That's a big part of why Superman and Wonder Woman are very much these larger-than-life heroes that push the concept of what it means to be a hero. They are, for all intents and purposes, embodiments of ideals. So what happens when those ideals are tainted?

That's exactly what I've been exploring here with Broken Legacy. Wonder Woman already had her ideal tainted when she found out that she was not molded out of clay and brought to life through the love of her mother. Instead, she now knows that she is a product of infidelity. She is very much effected by this change, an ideal built on a foundation of deceit. It forces her to reevaluate what it means to be Wonder Woman. Now, Superman has to deal with that as well.

Superman, for most of his history, has been as pure an ideal as can be. He is the alpha and omega of heroes. His foundation, his morals, and his legacy are crafted on an ideal foundation. So what happens when that foundation is tainted? Well, that's what Tyr-El is doing. His arrival brought with it a dark secret that will strike Superman at his core. Both he and Wonder Woman will be left wondering what it means to be heroes and what these ideals even mean. And this process is going to be a lot harder than they think.

That's what they're about to find out in the next chapter of Broken Legacy. I know it has taken a while to come out, but this is a challenging story with a challenging premise. But I hope it brings out the best in Superman and Wonder Woman. Because you don't know just how powerful an ideal is until it's tainted. But sometimes tragedy and hardship can breed a new kind of strength, as these two will soon find out. Enjoy!

Broken Legacy

Chapter 3: Confrontation and Subjugation

Expect plenty of tough, dramatic upheavals for Superman and Wonder Woman. Also expect it to bring out the best and worst in them. Sometimes that's necessary for two people to come together. And when it happens, it's a thing of beauty. Things might be bleak in the comics, but I'm hoping that beauty will help as this story unfolds. Nuff Said!

Upholding and Underscoring a Legacy: Action Comics #51

The following is my review of Action Comics #51, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Imagine for a moment that the iPhone has been around for 75 years. How many updates, reinventions, breakthroughs, and setbacks would it have gone through? How many features would it have added, dropped, or botched entirely? It's difficult to imagine because there aren't a lot of things that last 75 years these days. There aren't a lot of things that last 25 years these days, the Simspons notwithstanding.

Despite the onslaught of time, Superman finds way to endure. He's goes through transitions, relaunches, reboots, revamps, and gimmicks that would've broken a lesser character. From Superfriends to Richard Donner to Batfleck, Superman navigates these shifting eras as few characters can. Sure, he's been cloned, killed, resurrected, de-powered, and overpowered. He still endures as the heroic ideal, one who sets the standards by which all heroes not named Deadpool are measured.

With the New 52 era coming to an end to make way for Rebirth, Action Comics #51 prepares Superman for yet another transition. It's a transition that presents a unique set of challenges and not just those that involve being upstaged by Batman every now and then. Losing his powers and having his identity exposed now forces Superman to reassess his position in the DC universe. He'll always be one of its primary pillars, but even he understands there's only so much Superman can do, even if he can do obscenely more than most.

It's for that reason that Action Comics #51 builds a story around Superman preparing the world for a time when he can no longer fulfill his position as the gold standard for heroism in the DC universe. It's not him being proactive either. Once again, Superman is dying. This should carry a lot of emotional weight, but between All-Star Superman and Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, these emotions feel too familiar.

Despite this familiarity, there are important concepts at play here in terms of Superman's legacy. The issue is these concepts are underdeveloped and underplayed. Action Comics #51 puts Superman in a situation where he has to prepare Supergirl for being the last remaining non-clone, non-hybrid, non-alternate universe Kryptonian on Earth. It's a situation that has so many emotional undertones, but few of those emotions are realized.

That's not to say there aren't powerful moments at play. Peter Tomasi makes it a point to have Superman remind Supergirl why he is the pinnacle hero for every era of his 75-year history. He understands that people are afraid of exceedingly powerful aliens and they're perfectly right to be afraid. Someone who can lift mountains, fly through space, and be friends with Batman is bound to make a lot of people worry. That's why what Superman does is so important. That's why it's important that Supergirl carries on this legacy.

This moment, however, is lacking in terms of emotional impact. It's the most defining moment of the narrative in Action Comics #51, but it's a moment that feels rushed and underdeveloped. In addition, the overall setup for the story is rushed. The whole mystery of Supergirl missing is resolved in the quickest, least dramatic way possible.

The details around this mystery are explained in a throw-away flashback that barely qualify as a teaser. It's more like a skippable video ad than an actual part of the story. Nobody will miss anything by skipping it. That might be fine for video ads, but for the overall story in Action Comics #51, it's wastes ink that is better spent refining the emotional undertones of Superman's predicament. Grant Morrison already made a veritable how-to guide for these stories with All-Star Superman so any Superman story that falters with such a story has no excuse.

It's not just the overly rushed pace of the story that derails the drama. There's another side-plot involving Dr. Omen that sets up another conflict that likely can't be rushed. However, it feels entirely disjointed from the primary plot of Superman preparing Supergirl to carry on his legacy. For a story that already feels rushed, being disorganized doesn't. Anyone whose mind doesn't operate on the same wavelength of the Flash is likely to get confused.

Even if the pace is rushed and disorganized, it isn't wholly chaotic. There are still dramatic undertones at work here as Superman prepares himself for yet another death, not knowing how permanent it might be. It feels personal, him reaching out to Supergirl and preparing her for a world where she is the sole bearer of Superman's legacy. For someone whose power levels make solving daunting problems so easy most of the time, it's an important element to highlight. It just isn't highlighted enough.

In preparing for a fresh round of upheaval with the upcoming Rebirth relaunch, there are many loose ends to resolve. Leaving too many unresolved will make printing that all-important #1 on the cover feel like a hollow gimmick. As it stands, Superman has more loose ends than most. Action Comics #51 at least begins the process, but doesn't proceed very far.

Tomasi makes it a point to emphasize the importance of Superman's legacy in the incredibly broad scope that is the DC Universe and rightly so. Superman's legacy is important and passing it off to Supergirl, who has neither his level of experience nor his clout among other heroes, has numerous dramatic undertones. Absent that drama, the emphasis on that legacy feels shallow at best.

Superman dying is a big deal, even if it has been overdone and overplayed since the early 90s. Every major hero gets a death story these days and, being a 75-year-old icon, Superman gets more than most. That doesn't mean that these kinds of stories have to be overly generic. However, this latest attempt is dangerously close to that territory and not even Superman may be able to save it.

Final Score: 4 out of 10

Broken Legacy Chapter 2: Strategic Atrocity is LIVE!

Let's face it, there are just certain themes that DC, Warner Brothers, and the humorless fucks at the FCC will never explore with Superman. I can't say I blame them. It's not like the market is huge for cartoons that feature Batman burning the Joker alive or Superman ripping out someone's spine through their anus. There's a time and a place for that sort of shit and if it's not being directed by Quentin Tarantino, it's going to be of questionable quality at best.

That said, I do think there are some themes worth exploring. The legacy and history of Superman's people is one of them. Like so much else about Superman, that legacy and history is often idealized as though it came from some hippie's wet dream. I like to think there are more interesting stories to tell about an alien civilization and not all of them have to involve anal probes.

My Broken Legacy story is built around the premise of Superman's legacy. We already saw what happened to Wonder Woman when DC retconned/shit all over her Amazon legacy. She's no longer from a simple tribe of warrior women. She's from a tribe of warrior women who seduce, murder, and abandon their own children. Like finding out you're related to an axe murderer, it's not a pleasant feeling. Superman can't relate to that feeling...yet. That all changes with this new chapter of Broken Legacy.

At this stage in the New 52 canon, Superman and Wonder Woman aren't together yet. They don't have a lot of common ground either. That's something that will change very soon. Expect it to lead to some intense moments. Those moments will be fully clothed...for now. But expect a lot of tension as the story continues to unfold. That tension really starts to escalate with this chapter.

Broken Legacy

Chapter 2: Strategic Ambiguity

From here on out, the story is going to start dealing with some pretty mature themes. This is the kind of shit that would not make it past an editor at DC comics. It might get approval from a Game of Thrones producer, but we're dealing with a different context here. That context will become much clearer as the story unfolds. Enjoy!

Broken Legacy: A New Superman/Wonder Woman Story

It's an uncertain time for DC Comics. The New 52 reboot has run its course. Now, DC is gearing up for yet another major relaunch, which they're calling Rebirth. It's not being billed as a reboot on the same scale as the New 52, but it promises to bring major changes to DC Comics once more. For some, that's going to be a good thing. For others, it'll be a bad thing. As always, everyone will find something to bitch about.

But of all the developments from the New 52 that have been most memorable, I'd say the Superman/Wonder Woman relationship is definitely near the top. For the first time, DC actually put some serious effort into developing this relationship in a meaningful way and they did it without denigrating Lois Lane or resorting to Elseworlds. The result has led to some pretty damn awesome stories, which have become one of the greatest sources of romance in superhero comics. Then again, this is an era where both Marvel and DC just love fucking up iconic romances so it's not like the bar is that high. Just ask Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson.

There's no sign yet that the Superman/Wonder Woman relationship will continue after rebirth. Whatever the case, the New 52 helped establish that this relationship can work and be awesome. It helped inspire me to write my first ever Justice League story, Strangers In Paradise. Now, I feel like I'm ready to write another one.

This new story actually takes place within the New 52 continuity, specifically before Justice League #12, the now-iconic issue where Superman and Wonder Woman came together. The premise of this story is built around bring them together in a different way. It takes place at a time when Wonder Woman is learning about the dirty secrets of the Amazons and Superman's identity is still intact. That's not to say I won't take a few liberties here and there, but I'll try not to take as much as I did before.

This story won't be quite as long or as elaborate as Strangers In Paradise. It'll also be a bit more mature in terms of content, but not overly graphic. It deals with themes that are difficult even for superheroes to deal with, but in a way I hope will bring out the right kind of drama. Given the response to my previous story, I hope this one helps raise the bar.

Broke Legacy

Chapter 1: The Arrival

As always, I ask that readers take the time to leave feedback for this and all my other stories. Feedback, be it constructive or otherwise, helps inspire me to keep improving and that's exactly what I want. For Superman fans, Wonder Woman fans, and every fan in between, I want this story to be as awesome as it can be. Anything less is unacceptable. Nuff said!

Scanned Thoughts: Action Comics #37

I find it remarkable at how as we get older, the shit that used to scare the piss out of us stops being scary. Forget the monster under the bed or the psycho-killer in the hockey mask watching horny teens fuck. Odin help us if the rent check bounces, the IRS audits our income, or the doctor finds a strange lump during a routine checkup. That's real horror right there. I imagine Superman has never had to get all that scared. Hell, a hockey mask and a machete would only mildly annoy him. This is a guy who can crush diamonds with his eyelids. There can't be too much outside the IRS that scares him.

But if Superman does have one major fear, it's protecting the people who are vulnerable. That vulnerability was exploited like a corporate tax loophole during the Doomsday arc. But even after he returned and started helping his hometown, Smallville, rebuild from the damage, more horror finds a way to fuck with him. It's not exactly the most novel kind of horror. It involves zombies and evil aliens that turn people into zombies, including Lana Lang's parents. It sounds like a rejected script from the Walking Dead, but it puts Superman in a difficult situations in Action Comics #37. And seeing him overcome these difficult situations has been entertaining since 1938 so why stop now?

A big part of Superman's ability to overcome these situations is his ability to get help from his friends. And remarkably, not all his friends are super sexy female scientists, reporters, or warriors. One is actually an obscenely rich Japanese kid with a robot toy fetish. It's not as creepy as it sounds. Toymaster is actually remarkably sane, even by Japanese standards. He's also utilizing his billions of dollars and arsenal of Japanese gadgets that only a teenage boy could conjure to help him with the strange Stephen King style mist that has fallen over Smallville. The problem is he hasn't yet figured out that it's a good idea to avoid the mist. It's like a cute, big-breasted blonde avoiding an abandoned meat factory in a horror movie. It's just common sense.

Superman is able to save Toymaster before he suffers the same fate every slutty woman in every slasher movie suffers. He gets him to the other side of the cloud before the mist turns him into a Walking Dead cosplayer permanently. But, true to form, Superman does this while exposing himself to the mist again. It fucked him and his friends up in the previous issue. Not surprisingly, it fucks him up again this time. It's like a guy that's hung over getting food poisoning. It's just adding insult to injury at this point. Something is attacking him, but it's not the typical giant monkey or alien robot. This is Smallville, Kansas. Not downtown Metropolis or the Batcave. So when a couple of typical, salt-of-the-Earth Smallville types approach with Children of the Corn style eyes, it feels genuinely creepy even for Superman.

This leads into a flashback that at first seems out of place for a story about a town being taken over by an alien monster, but it actually provides some meaningful context for Superman in terms of his relationship with Smallville. It takes us to a time when Superman is still just a prepubescent Clark Kent. It's a special time, taking place before he goes through the Kryptonian equivalent of puberty and learns why X-ray vision next to the girls' locker room is the best power ever. He's just a kid, but he still has the same traits that make him Superman.

One day during recess, Clark finds a burning field across town. Being way more compassionate than a typical kid his age, who is usually reluctant to share his juice box, he rushes to the scene. There are four people in danger, but one of them is stuck in the flames. He has to find a way to save that person without turning them into a walking pot roast. He decides to employ his superbreath. It does the trick, but it doesn't exactly help the guy he's trying to save.

It's a powerful moment for a young Superman. It shows that while he still has a knack for helping people, he wasn't always that good at it. In the past, he has screwed up. Yes, Superman can screw up, especially when he's a kid. And this is in his hometown no less. It adds some emotional weight to his desire to save Smallville. This isn't just his home. This is where he learned to be Superman and fucked up a little along the way. Something about that should give the non-trolling population of fans a warm and fuzzy feeling inside.

When Superman wakes up from this flashback, the score is officially Creepy Alien Mist 1 and Superman 0. He wasn't able to fight his way through without getting excessively hung over. Steel and Lana Lang have gotten Superman to a bed where he can rest and awaken. Sure, he has a massive headache and for a guy who can bitch-slap a black hole, that's saying something. But he's still in one piece, minus a sliver of his dignity. It's actually an intriguing notion, Superman having a headache after a battle. Now he knows how Batman must feel every 15 minutes of his life.

But as intriguing it might be, the details get a little fucked up here. There's no explanation for how Steel and Lana Lang retrieved him from the migraine-inducing mist in the first place. And when Superman steps outside, he finds out that he's still in the mist and nobody else in Smallville is all that terrified. In fact, they're still going about their business as though being shrouded in an alien mist is as minor as a shaving cut. I guess in the DCU it is to some extent, but it's still creepy as fuck. It would be like a team of sexy nudist cheerleaders casually taking a stroll through a graveyard full of serial killers. And maybe that's the point. It's meant to be creepy and it succeeds a little too well.

This doesn't stop Superman from being Superman. Even though the folks of Smallville are just going about their day, assuming Superman will triumph over whatever creepy force is behind this mist, he urges them to return to their homes and wait for the punching to stop. And being such nice, polite folk despite probably having voted for Mitt Romney, they listen to him. They all seem to trust him completely. It's one of those other great superpowers that can only come from not being an occasional douche-bag. By being the kind of hero that inspires others, people are a bit more willing to listen to Superman out of choice and not fear. The Batmans and Iron Mans would do well to remember this.

With Steel and Lana at his side, Superman ventures back into the mist, assured that the people will be safe while he beats the living shit out of whatever is giving him such a headache. They eventually make their way back to the graveyard where this all began, complete with a miniature zombie attack. Along the way, Superman notes that this was where he fought Doomsday and that fight left more than a few wrinkles in the Phantom Zone, which offers at least a partial explanation of where this crazy Stephen King reject came from. But in this age of infinite Earths and inversion spells, a partial explanation is sometimes the best we can hope for.

With or without this explanation, Superman is able to find this creature, who looks like a bastardized version of Cthullu and a Power Rangers monster. That monster even managed to capture Toymaster, giving Superman even more reasons to beat it in ways that every Japanese school girl in anime porn probably wishes they could. There's just one minor complication and it has nothing to do with panties for once. Remember all those people who were so unconcerned and cooperative with Superman? Well if it sounded too good to be true, I'm sorry to say that like all emails from a Nigerian prince, it was.

The mist still has a hold on them. It hasn't turned them into zombies, but it has turned them into a group of brainwashed people capable of mind-fucking whoever this creepy alien creature finds annoying. So once again, Superman learns how much headaches suck. It's another powerful moment. This creature isn't actually the one hurting him most. It's the people he's trying to save. It's the kind of irony that would make Alanis Morissette extremely horny. They don't just attack him either. They also attack Lana and Steel. So once again, Superman is in a situation where he can't just punch his way to victory. At this point, anyone would have a headache.

This is where Superman takes those lessons he learned in that flashback and applies them. Unlike many adults I know, he actually learned from his mistakes as a kid. He's able to use the same superbreath that once ruined so many perfectly innocent birthday cakes to make the citizens of Smallville cold and uncomfortable enough to stop attacking him. He doesn't hurt them. He doesn't kill them. He just makes them as uncomfortable as someone walking outside on a cold winter day without a jacket. Let's face it, there are way worse things these people could endure. Hell, this isn't even as painful as cutting their internet connection or running out of bacon.

It's not just a display of Superman's compassion. It shows that as powerful as he is, he's actually smart when it comes to applying that power. He never applies more than necessary. Compare that to the SWAT team raids on homes that are suspected to have a couple marijuana cigarettes. The DEA could learn a lot from Superman's approach. Maybe if the anti-drug folks in the government didn't use excessive force the same way a compulsive masturbator uses lube, the pot smokers wouldn't be gaining so much support. But that's not going to happen. That might actually make sense.

By saving the people and breaking the hold the mist has on them, Superman is now able to focus on the monster. Sure, it means all the civilians no longer under its control are terrified as fuck and probably shitting themselves as they're running away. But if soiled pants is the worst they have to deal with, then they should consider themselves lucky. I'll take shit-stains over being mind-fucked any day of the week. It finally puts Superman, Steel, and Lana in a position to solve this problem with the excessive violence and punching that is so overdue at this point. It might have been tedious, but it made the end result all the more satisfying.

On paper, the concept of putting Superman in a horror movie type plot sounds as laughable as putting OJ Simpson in a family friendly Disney movie. It really shouldn't work, but it still somehow finds a way to be interesting. It puts Superman in a conflict that he can't just punch his way out of like the Hulks of the comic book world would prefer. It even attempts to humanize him, giving him a headache and to go along with this "I'm too old for this shit" type struggle. Throwing in Lana Lang and a few flashbacks and there's some emotional weight as well. It turns what could've been a story with the depth of a B-rated horror movie in the 1950s to a fairly well-balanced story. It's still not a story that has enough "Oh shit!" type moments. It's also lacking in memorable dialog in the sense that it uses the word "No" more times than an obese kid before a fitness test.

But these shortcomings aren't extreme to the point where the story descends to Adam Sandler caliber absurdity. For that reason, I give Action Comics #37 a 7 out of 10. This comic is proof that Superman can make even basic horror stories awesome. It's also further proof that the man can rock a beard like few others. I guess it was just too sexy for the women of the DCU to keep. Nuff said!

Super Anger Management: Action Comics #30

The following is my review of Action Comics #30, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Good anger management skills are vital in certain fields. Regardless of whether someone has superpowers, the impact of poor anger management skills is the same. Nobody makes rational decisions when they're angry. In an angry mind, every mental resource is dedicated to putting the perceived source of that anger into horrible pain. Sometimes it's a telemarketer, sometimes it's a traffic jam, and sometimes it's just some random person who says the wrong thing at the wrong time. This is why people who work in fields like technical support, nursing, and sales have to have good anger management skills. It's also why people who play contact sports can get away with having only mediocre anger management skills. But for Superman, he has to have the best. Since he has the power to throw the Earth into the sun if he has a bad enough day, he has to know how to control his anger.

This ability for a powerful being to control his temper is the main challenge Superman faces in Action Comics #30. For the past few issues, someone has been attacking him on multiple fronts with ghost soldiers. It's not the strangest way someone has attacked Superman, but it is definitely more effective than most. What better way to attack a man who can kill pretty much anything in any number of ways than to attack him with soldiers that are already dead? These ghost soldiers have attacked Wonder Woman, slaughtered innocent creatures from Subterranea, and put Lana Lang in the crossfire. Just one of those acts would be enough to upset Superman. But doing them all at once is like annoying someone the day after their dog got run over. It's too much, even for the Man of Steel.

As frustrating as these attacks may be, they are consistent with the most daunting challenges that Superman faces. There are very few threats in the DC Universe that threaten Superman physically. Aside from Doomsday, General Zod, and Darkseid, he can usually punch his way through most major threats. The biggest danger he faces is losing control of his power or having someone else control him. This is what happened during the events of Trinity War. Superman let himself be controlled to a point where he took a life. But controlling Superman's mind is a task that few have the means to attempt and even fewer have the means to succeed. For most people, it would be like a caveman attempting to hack the NSA. That's why making Superman angry is a much easier way to make him lose control. And it requires no powerful psychic so anyone who is sufficiently annoying or foolish can do this.

The fool in this instance is Harrow. She commands The Tower, which has been coordinating the attacks on Superman. She also has the most effective non-robot army it's possible to have. She raises the dead and uses them to do their bidding. And since they're already dead, they provide a challenge that Superman can't solve with punching or heat vision. That and they're not subject to labor laws either.

By all accounts, she has the perfect army and she uses it to frustrate Superman in ways that would test anyone's anger management skills. Even with all his power and his ideals, Superman still has the capacity to get pissed off. And that's what gives his struggle in this story meaning. In the same way it's difficult to find credible threats for Superman, it's just as difficult to find threats that push him to crossing those lines that he cannot cross. These are lines that characters like Batman, Wolverine, Green Lantern, and Iron man probably cross while sleepwalking. But Superman can't cross those lines because he's supposed to be that ideal that everyone is supposed to strive for. And that ideal shouldn't have anger management issues.

Harrow pushes Superman's anger management skills to the edge. It's painfully obvious that Superman wants to just solve this problem with a few punches and some heat vision. That's probably how most people would solve such a frustrating problem if they had Superman's power. But he manages to keep himself from crossing that line. He constantly muses on the value of taking a deep breath and counting to ten. It's one of the most basic anger management skills anyone can learn. Most teenagers learn it when they find out that hormones are a potent fuel for irrational anger. Yet it ends up working for Superman so it must have some merit.

It should mark another victory for Superman. He is able to avoid crossing that line. He can continue to be that ideal that he's supposed to be. However, Harrow turns this around on him completely and she does so in a way that's far more reasonable than anything Lex Luthor has attempted. She essentially uses his victory over her dead army to prove that Superman is more a threat to the world than anything she or his enemies can ever conjure. It may sound like the desperate musings of a defeated villain, but it's not entirely wrong.

By being an ideal and not crossing certain lines, Superman prevents himself from making difficult decisions at times. And no decision is more difficult than one that involves taking a life to save others. It's a decision that police officers, doctors, and soldiers have to make on a daily basis and they don't have the luxury of being more powerful than a locomotive. It's easy for anyone to ask who has the right to determine whether someone lives or dies. But in Superman's case, he has the power to end a threat before it hurts others. Harrow points out that he could have ended her and her attacks by simply making those hard decisions and living with the consequences. He chose not to. His actions might be ideal on paper, but in practice he basically left a festering wound untreated. He might be able to handle those wounds, but others might not.

This powerful message gives the impression that Superman lost the battle in Action Comics #30. Harrow made her point and while The Tower was destroyed, she proved to Superman that he could have avoided all these infuriating frustrations easily. But he chose not to and only made it worse. It provides a sobering message for Superman and one he'll have to consider when facing threats like Zod and Doomsday. This issue is billed as a prelude to the upcoming Doom crossover event and in many respects, it provides the perfect context for the challenge that Superman faces. But that's part of what makes him Superman.

Final Score: 8 out of 10

Idealism Becomes Compelling: "Action Comics #23"

The following is my review of Action Comics #23, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Characters that resonate with a wide audience create the most compelling stories. And more often than not, characters resonate when the audience can relate to them. People look at characters like Batman or Peter Parker and see someone who is human and flawed yet they are able to accomplish amazing feats. However, this creates a challenge for someone like Superman, who is not human and whose feats are practically god-like in their scale and impact. No matter how much Superman resonates with an audience, nobody will ever know what it feels like to fly at the speed of light, move a planet with sheer muscle, or survive being Wonder Woman’s lover.

Yet Superman still resonates with audiences because unlike Batman and Peter Parker, he represents an ideal. He personifies all that is good, moral, and just. That ideal is more powerful than any human in the same way that Superman is more powerful than any human. And upholding that ideal can make stories about Superman seem more like a morality tale than a compelling narrative. But Action #23 manages to create a narrative that shows that upholding that ideal can still be a compelling story. It also shows that as easy as it is to relate to certain less-powerful characters, there’s not much they can do when an alien monster shows up to devour the Earth. Let’s face it, Batman doesn’t have anything in his utility belt for a threat like that.

This is the threat that Superman has to face in Action #23. It’s called Lexus and instead of a luxury car, it’s a planet-sized cross between a monster truck and a demon. And the knights of Pax Galactica have been fighting this creature for 23 years. Its origins are basic, but the details are important to the story. Lexus was forged from the disembodied heart of Queen Lourdes’s brother, who apparently had an evil in his heart strong enough to forge a terrifying body out of the disembodied planets he destroyed. Essentially, he’s evil on a level that makes it so nobody will complain about Superman having to kill him so critics of Superman: Man of Steel can rest easy.

While Lexus as a threat may be somewhat basic, it serves an important role in the scope of the story. This is a threat of pure, uncompromising evil. In the same way Superman represents the pure idealism of all that is good, a creature like Lexus represents the exact opposite. Normal humans and less than upstanding heroes can’t comprehend evil on that scale in the same way they can’t comprehend Superman’s ability to be good. At the same time, nobody except someone who is as powerful and as good as Superman has the ability to take on someone like Lexus while also dealing with Queen Lourdes’s knights of Pax Galactia. Because in the same way it’s challenging for mature adults to deal with immature children, it’s difficult for someone as good as Superman to deal with creatures this arrogant.

Before Lexus even arrives, Superman clashes with the knights of Pax Galactica. They treat him the same way the the weakest kid is treated in a game of dodgeball. But as soon as Lexus arrives, the game stops and the battle begins. And Superman, understanding that any frustration or anger he feels towards these creatures won’t help, looks past their juvenile behavior so that they can battle Lexus. In a perfect world, everyone would be able to overlook such petty misgivings. But in the real world, people hold grudges. In the real world, something as trivial as being cut off in the freeway is enough for someone to be seething with rage for a two-hour drive. But Superman doesn’t have that kind of time. He overlooks it and focuses on a more important task, namely saving the world.

And his ability to succeed where Queen Lourdes’s knights have failed says something else about Superman’s persona. Since he tries to fight with a level head that is clear of arrogance, he is able to surmise the weakness of the Lexus. The details of its origin are key in that it allows him to devise a strategy to end the creature once and for all. It’s a strategy that Queen Lourdes, her knights, and no being without god-like powers could carry out. But because Superman is Superman, he is able to to do so and destroys the Lexus by destroying its heart.

It’s not just an amazing display of power. It’s a perfect demonstration of how Superman isn’t just some overpowered demigod. He’s as powerful as he needs to be to do the right thing. Using more power might be easier, but it wouldn’t be just. He demonstrates this in another way that’s almost as dramatic as destroying a planet-sized robot demon. After seeing such a feat, Queen Lourdes and the knights of Pax Galactica swear their eternal allegiance to Superman. Now most people probably wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to have completely obedient superpowered slaves in the same way they wouldn’t tear up a winning lottery ticket. But that is exactly what Superman does. He didn’t destroy the Lexus to gain favor with Pax Galactica. He did it because it was the right thing to do.

That embodies the true core of Superman. Action #23 doesn’t really break new ground in Superman’s story or do anything too novel. It establishes a powerful threat that only Superman can stop and shows him stopping it while not cutting any corners along the way. There’s no shortcuts. There’s no cut-and-paste. Superman does things the right way and that’s all there is to it. That’s what makes Action #23 a satisfying Superman story. While less durable characters like Batman still has a place in modern mythology, there will always be room for living embodiments of an ideal like Superman.

Final Score: 8 out of 10

Action Comics #1 - Action Packed Awesome

Nostalgia is overrated. I have no problem saying that and rubbing it in the faces of people who still use walk-mans and think the 80s were the greatest era of music in recorded history, going so far as to sport a mullet after they've become the official hairstyle of sex offenders. The past is nice and all, but sometimes you just gotta move forward. DC took that concept to heart, stepping on the hearts and ignoring the incessant whining that ensued when they said they were going to relaunch all their books. And not just the ones that were doing poorly on the sales charts. They did it for every book. That includes Action Comics, a series so old that my dad was still a sperm fragment in my grandfather's nutsack when the first issue came out. This is the actual comic that introduced Superman...you know, the most iconic superhero ever? Well over 60 years later, DC is turning the odometer back on this classic comic. They're not starting from scratch, but they are starting with Superman so they're still nostalgic for some shit. To that extent, it nostalgia doesn't suck quite as much.

So here's the deal. I reviewed Justice League #1. I enjoyed it. It wasn't a solid 5 out of 5 like you would want the first comic of a massive reboot to be, but it was serviceable. That was the big guns, but it's the little guns that often do the more targeted killing. That's why picking up Action Comics #1 was at the top of my to-do list just below a routine visit to a hooker and a liquor store. This comic isn't on the same scale as Justice League #1. In fact, it's not even in the same era. This comic takes place years before Justice League #1 when Superman is in his early twenties. He's not quite Mr. Red, White, and Blue yet. Hell, he still wears jeans when he's in his cape. He's not quite the finished product, but he's on his way. Much like Brett Favre's backup quarterbacks minus the sexting scandels.

Now that Smallville is off the air, there's a market for a story like this. If this is truly a reboot, then Superman as we know him had to have gotten to where he is now in a different manner. How different is it? How different can you make it and still have him be Superman? The guy tasked with telling this story is Grant Morrison, who can soak panties with his English accent and bald head. He's the kind of guy who enjoys telling stories of god like figures. This is the story of a god-like figure in training so he's got plenty to work with and plenty of reasons not to screw it up.

Action Comics #1 doesn't retell the same origins stories we've all heard a trillion times before. We know all about the doomed planet, the orphaned boy, the small town values, and the Marlon Brando voice overs. That doesn't change or at least that hasn't been revealed yet. This comic starts off with Superman doing what you would expect a young college kid who read too much Noam Chomsky to do. He uses his vast powers to terrify corrupt businessman. Fuck killer aliens. Fuck giant monsters. This young Superman swoops in, grabs rich old fucks, and holds him by his ankle over a roof while the police try not to piss themselves. Take that, Tea Party!

Unlike the Superman we know, he's not rubbing shoulders with the authorities. When you're threatening a rich white guy, cops tend to notice and they tend to point guns at you. For Superman, they might as well be throwing didoes at him. It doesn't mean shit. He's basically asking Mr. I-Love-Ayan-Rand to admit that he's a douche-bag that screws over poor people. He won't, so Superman takes him on an express ride to the surface that's sure to cure every kind of constipation known to man. This not only scares the shit out of the rich fuck. It gets him to confess that he's a dirty, corrupt politician. He's basically Mitt Romney's prison bitch. That's good enough for Superman. He doesn't tell the cops to arrest him. He just says that if he doesn't get his act together, then he'll come back for him. Beats the shit out of the Supreme Court, eh?

Now this is a pretty bold statement for the new Superman. This young, growing superhero is not on the level of kicking Darkseid's ass just yet. His ideals are still developing and right now they're at the same level as most college kids who pay way too much attention to their extreme liberal professors that think hippie communes are a great way to spend a summer. It's a very logical even if it's not very super kind of mindset for this up and coming Man of Steel. And it works in a way that only Apple engineers can masturbate to.

Even though the police have a much more pressing matter with an asshole politician just confessing to a crime, they still point their guns at Superman. So the police in Metropolis are about as efficient as Congress, ignoring the real problems and going after what's flashy. Now at this point Superman can't fly away. He can only jump over buildings. Now if that sounds a little lame, keep in mind that those were the powers Superman had way back in the day when he started off. That whole flight thing hasn't developed quite yet. A kid his age can't take on too much power. Otherwise it's just too easy for him to be an asshole to the rest of the real assholes. It's still more than enough power to outrun Metropolis's finest. Superman even has a little fun with it, treating it like a North Korean fitness exercise where he's running from guys with guns instead of just rabid pit bulls.

As you would expect in the real world when a superpowered being is making fools out of humble authority figures, the government takes notice. In particular, the assholes of the government find it necessary to unleash the shittiest parts of their ego. That's where General Lane, Lois Lane's father, and Lex Luthor, egocentric douce-bag extraordinaire, enter the picture. They've been tasked with apprehending Superman, presumably to see if his powers include magically winning elections. Luthor being Luthor, he's always jumps at a chance to stroke his ego. Plus, he gets to play with the government's credit card. Who wouldn't enjoy that?

Proving that the relaunch hasn't made him any less an asshole, Luthor lures Superman to an area full of innocent poor people that are in the process of being fucked over. An abandoned house that's scheduled for demolition gets a little pre-demolishing with a wrecking ball. As it just so happens (and Luthor makes it abundantly clear that he's aware of this), there are people inside that are likely to be crushed more than Tom Curise's Oscar chances. Superman being for the little guy at this point, does what he does best and helps get them to safety. However, rather than greet him with a metal, Luthor and the authorities greet him with a tank that doesn't even warn him when it fires on him. That's basically a metaphor for date rape and Lex Luthor.

Superman gets caught up in an electric net. It tingles a bit, but then he breaks it. Even if it doesn't even scratch him, he's a young guy. He gets pissed off when his cell phone gets no service. So he naturally does what any of us would do. He takes the wrecking ball and uses it to beat the shit out of the tank. It's a hell of a lot more effective than a hunger strike by your typical hippie. Then when they start firing back again, the people that Superman just saved come to his aid. It's a nice way to show that not everybody in this new DC world is an asshole. If you save the lives of a bunch of poor people, they'll return the favor. It's a beautiful think that shows that while Superman may be a headache for powerful white men, he's still a man of the people.

So with help from the people, Superman escapes. Somewhere out there Glenn Beck is crying over how communism is infiltrating our comic books, but for every tear he sheds a nerd loses his virginity to a supermodel so I think that's worth it. Upon escaping, Superman returns to his normal life as Clark Kent. But it's not that of a mild-mannered reporter. Remember, he's still a young guy. He's basically the equivalent of a starving college student. He doesn't use a phone booth to change. He just grabs some clothes from a laundry wire, assuming they're clean, and slips back into anonymity. It's to be expected, but it still works.

We then get a brief taste of how Clark Kent lives. He's very much a student, living a meager existence with an old land lord that isn't quite as big an asshole as most landlords. She's nice to Clark, treating him like the kind of kid she's trying to hook her grand-daughter up with. But she still bitches about the rent. Clark being the good guy that he is pays it and doesn't make excuses about staying in a strip club longer than he should have. He's got humility, but he gets along with people and he's not as clumsy.

You can argue that this Clark isn't terribly different from his predecessor. You could also argue that he's not too similar either. This is more an everyman who avoids being a dick for all the right reasons. He's not like Peter Parker or Batman or other big name heroes that make excuses for or in spite of their lifestyle. Superman seems comfortable with his world. Now we don't know how he got here or what's different about his life in this new DC universe. It's not even hinted at. That can be a little annoying, but it still works.

Now enter Lois Lane and Jimmy Olson. You can't have a Superman story without those two. That would be like having rap music without the weed. In this world Superman isn't working with Jimmy and Lois. He's actually working for a rival newspaper. Jimmy just happens to be Clark's friend. Lois wants nothing to do with him. So it's basically your standard pretty-girl-ignores-the-hero type deal. It's basically square one for Superman and some who were fans of the Superman/Lois marriage may not like that. Given how long it took for them to get together last time, my pubic hair will have turned gray before they come around this time.

But Jimmy and Lois's story is linked to Superman's story. Remember that rich fuck that Superman put the fear of God in? Well they're also trying to expose his bullshit and they're doing it without holding him over a rooftop. They're following a guy named Gus Glenmorgan, who was said rich fuck's enforcer. Like your typical college students with no regard for their lives, they try to go after him. And this is after Clark told Jimmy they shouldn't get on any trains because of his own little investigations surrounding the rich fuck. But low and behold, Lois doesn't listen. And you wonder why she constantly needs rescuing? They almost deserve to have the train go out of control as a result of sabotaged. Hell, in the DC universe, a train gets sabotaged ever other Tuesday it seems.

Lois and Jimmy try to confront Gus. When Clark hears that they completely ignored his advice and got on the train, he springs into action. It turns into a double does of "you're fucked" for Lois and Jimmy. When they confront Gus, he pulls two guns on them. If that weren't enough, the train goes out of control. Now this isn't the locomotive that Superman has constantly been compared to in terms of power. This is a fucking bullet train, meaning it's faster and stronger than those steam powered pieces of shit from the 1800s. So it's a bit tougher to stop and by a bit I mean even Superman has problems with it.

What follows next is your standard pants-shitting danger that Lois Lane will come to get used to throughout the DC universe. That's another bit that will never change no matter what universe DC is in. As the train goes out of control, it jumps the tracks and enters the streets. In the process Gus, Jimmy, Lois, and everyone else with loose bowels has to hold on for dear life as they crash through Metropolis like a Motley Crue reunion tour. It's a nice spectacle that shows Superman being Superman, regardless of how hippie-like Grant Morrison has made him.

Now wait a minute. How did that train go out of control anyways? Was it that rich fuck? Would he really be that stupid to crash a train after he just had Superman scare the shit out of him? Well rich white men in DC aren't quite that stupid. Lex Luthor on the other hand? Well his balls are almost the size of his ego. Despite putting General Lane's daughter in danger, he's perfectly fine with endangering hundreds of people. Sure, the General is pissed at him. But he could care less because it did just what they wanted him to do. It subdued Superman. Thus, the first issue of Action Comics ends with Superman being knocked out by a fucking train. That's growing pains for you!

Going back to what I said about nostalgia earlier, it's like crack. It's easy to overdose on. This comic could have been one big flashback issue. It could have been like me after one too much Bahama Mamas and just puke out old crap that has already been digested. But it wasn't. There wasn't a single flashback. There were only a few fleeting mentions of the past. Everything was very forward-focused. We start with this young, immature, hippie Superman and Grant Morrison rolls with it! This is a guy who isn't inspiring the law, but he is inspiring the little guy. It's the kind of story that wasn't told in Smallville, nor was it told in the countless origin stories in great depth. It's an untapped well of awesome that works beautifully even if it's a little thin in some areas.

The fact that it's so forward thinking is also somewhat of a shortcoming. So much of this new Superman is just imposed without context. Grant Morrison just plops him in Metropolis, has him scare the piss out of the establishment, gets some hippies to jerk each other off, and has Lex Luthor take it from there. It's a complete story with plenty of details in the middle, but not enough details in between. We don't know the circumstances of Clark's life in Metropolis. We don't know much about what makes him tick at this point besides watching too much of the Daily Show. There are a lot of blanks that weren't filled or even hinted at. This being the first issue, there's plenty of time to do so. However, it leaves the first issue feeling somewhat incomplete.

Never-the-less, this comic succeeds in more ways than Justice League #1. It's a more thorough and refined story. It stays within it's scope and does all the little things well. Everything feels coherent. Superman feels like a young Superman ought to feel. Same with Lois and Jimmy. Their characterization and dialog is spot on. There's plenty of variation to ensure that this story feels new and fresh. If it had a little more context, it would be perfect. For now, it's the next best thing! I give Action Comics #1 a 4.5 out of 5. It took over 900 issues, but this series was finally rebooted. Now after the first issue, it has a long ways to go. But even if you're not keen on following the next 900, it inspires you enough to pick up Action Comics #2. Nuff said!