Truth, Justice, and Unprecedented Achievements: Action Comics #1000

The following is my review of Action Comics #1000, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

In June 1938, the first issue of Action Comics came out, introducing the hero by which so many future heroes are still measured. Toady, it's impossible to assess the state of modern superheroes without appreciating the impact of Superman. From the early days of Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster to the modern era Geoff Johns and Dan Jurgens, the position Superman holds in the pantheon of the superhero genre is without parallel. He is very much the ideal in terms of just how great a hero can be.

It's hard to imagine how Siegel and Shuster expected their creation to evolve over the years. It's hard to imagine their reaction to the knowledge that this series that began in the latter part of the Great Depression would go on for another 1,000 issues that span eight decades, two reboots, a rebirth, multiple movie franchises, a slew of cartoons, and a never-ending supply of merchandise. Action Comics isn't just special to the brand of DC Comics. It's very much an institution, one in which the milestones carry even more weight.

That's why Action Comics #1000 is a truly momentous achievement for both Superman and the superhero era that he helped to start. It's one of those rare comics for which there is no template to draw from. No other series can offer insight into how such a milestone comic should be handled. That doesn't stopped DC Comics from assembling an all-star team of writers to pack plenty of content into a single comic with a $7.99 price tag.

With so much talent and so many reasons to celebrate, the expectations for Action Comics #1000 are almost too big to contemplate. Then again, much of Superman's entire appeal is his ability to defy the impossible, do what's right, and do it for the right reasons. He already embodies the ideal for multiple generations of superheroes. It's only fitting that he set the bar for such a milestone issue, if only to make things a little less daunting for Detective Comics and Amazing Spider-Man.

Action Comics #1000 doesn't try to reinvent Superman, push him to new extremes, or make him more up-to-date with modern audiences. More than anything else, it's a celebration of who Superman is and everything he represents. It's not just that he can fight off a fleet of alien invaders and make it back to his family in time for dinner. It's not just that he can outwit Lex Luthor, save an innocent woman being held at gun point in the blink of an eye, and even beat an army of alternate versions of himself.

These are all feats of strength and that's par for the course with Superman. There are plenty of superheroes in superhero comics, fiction, and mythology of all kinds with obscene strength. What sets Superman apart isn't in how he uses it. It's in how he inspires others with it. That's what sets Superman apart and makes him the kind of icon who can transcend decades, generations, and trends of all kinds. From upbeat and hopeful to grim and gritty, Superman finds a way to inspire. Of all the impossible things he does on a day-to-day basis, that's the most meaningful.

Celebrating that core ideal of Superman's character is difficult to do with just one story. Action Comics #1000 doesn't bother trying. Instead, it tells a series of short, concise stories that embody the best of who Superman is and why he's such an inspiration. Each story varies in terms of theme and challenge, but the message is the same. Superman doesn't just overcome the impossible. He raises the bar for everyone.

He can even do this without having to throw a single punch. In one story by Dan Jurgans, he attends a special celebration that Metropolis is holding to honor Superman. He's there as Clark Kent, but constantly worrying about other threats. Then, when he finally decides to don his iconic cape and red underwear, he finds out that he doesn't always have to be the one to right these wrongs. The people he inspires, from the heaviest hitters in the Justice League to the ordinary people on the streets, can do the right thing too when the opportunity arises.

In another story by Geoff Johns, Superman confronts the man who he hung from a telephone pole in the first issue of Action Comics in a fitting extension of that historic first issue. Whereas most other heroes are content to either let the man wallow in his humiliating defeat or just throw him in the nearest jail cell, as though that somehow is enough to make someone change their ways. Superman dares to go the extra mile

He talks to the man, but he doesn't talk down to him. Superman tries to relate to him, showing the kind of empathy and understanding that resonates with him. The fact that he can do this while being an alien from another world helps show the strength of Superman's humanity, despite the fact that he's not human. If he, an alien can embody that level of compression, then what's everyone else's excuse?

Through each story, there are insights into Superman's legacy and how he went about crafting it. They cover current and past era, referencing different timelines and iconic moments. Action Comics #1000 doesn't try to tie them all together through some elaborate sub-plot. While that renders the stories disconnected, they still convey the right message with respect to who Superman is and why his legacy matters.

Like the man himself, these insights are crafted to reflect an ideal. They show just how good a hero can be. They demonstrate that just being exceedingly powerful, able to stop a speeding train or break chains of Kryptonite, is not enough. The real power that makes Superman great is in how he uses it, doing the right thing and never hesitating to do so.

A being of his power can do so many other things, right and wrong. He's even tempted at times, both by circumstance and by men like Lex Luthor. No matter the situation or the challenge, Superman will still do what's right and he won't compromise that. He won't make excuses, either. That may make his decisions predictable, but the way he goes about making them only reinforces why he's an icon who has endured for so long.

The fact that Action Comics makes it to 1,000 issues, despite changing trends in culture and the superhero genre as a whole, is a remarkable accomplishment. Action Comics #1000 does plenty to celebrate the past and chart Superman's course for the future. There's still only so much a single issue can do to encapsulate over 80 years of heroics, even with extra content and a higher price tag. Since the stories are so short and focused, it's difficult to show the breadth of Superman's story through the ages.

For a hero like Superman, though, even a 1,000 page comic isn't be enough to tell every aspect of his story or why he's the most iconic hero of all time. It doesn't have to, though. Like the Man of Steel himself, Action Comics #1000 does plenty to raise the bar and bring hope to generations past and present. What started Siegel and Shuster nearly a century ago is still going strong today. It still seems impossible that any character could endear for so long, but that's exactly what makes him Superman.

Final Score: 9 out of 10

Twists, Turns, and Burns: Superwoman #2

The following is my review of Superwoman #2, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

We don't like to think about what happens to our beloved toys when they become outdated or obsolete. Most of the time, we're content to forget about them and enjoy our new toys. This happens a lot with characters as well, most of which are clones, time travelers, or visitors from an alternate universe. We expect their presence to become obsolete or unnecessary in most cases. Our expectations with post-Flashpoint Lois Lane are a bit harder to discern.

As with Superman, DC: Rebirth went to great lengths to put a lot of genies back in multiple bottles with Lois Lane. In addition to having another Superman replace the one that died, we also get another version of Lois Lane. She's the classic wife and baby mama of Superman and her story is now part of the overall Superman narrative. This leaves post-Flashpoint Lois Lane in a state of limbo, one she seems to fill by becoming Superwoman.

Unfortunately, her run as a superhero lasts for one issue. It ends quite abruptly. There are chess matches between the Flash and Batman that last longer. Superwoman #1 ends in a way that makes the premise of the series feel like the fine print of a bad user agreement. It gives the impression that post-Flashpoint Lois Lane is obsolete and DC Comics just threw her away the first chance they got. Superwoman #2 attempts create a story around this act, but it's a story built on a shaky, overtly fraudulent foundation.

Post-Flashpoint Lois is basically turned into a catalyst for Lana Lang to become Superwoman. It's not a classic act of "fridging" a female character. Lois Lane isn't murdered or butchered as a means to push Lana's story. She's just cut out of the dynamic, ensuring there's only one Superwoman. The fact that the Superwoman who doesn't have a counterpart from an alternate universe survives is quite telling.

By taking Lois Lane out of the narrative, the tone of Superwoman #2 takes a dramatic shift. It's either callous in that Lois' death quickly becomes a side-note or just flat in that Lana's story fails to be that compelling. To his credit, Phil Jimenez makes a concerted effort to develop that story. It certainly helps that Matt Santorelli's art creates the right tone and ambience. It just never comes off as anything more than a consolation prize.

That story still has elements of mystery and intrigue. Superwoman's first major nemesis is revealed as Lena Luthor. It's a fitting, if not overly standard dynamic. If there's going to be a female Superman operating in the DC universe, then there should be a female Lex Luthor by default. In the spirit of gender equality, it's only fair.

There's also never a sense that Lena Luthor is just a female version of Lex either. She goes out of her way to make that clear to Lex, albeit in a very uncomfortable manner. Then again, that only makes her more worthy of her role. If Superwoman #2 has a strength, it's that it doesn't try to just push female characters into male roles. It lets its female characters be female. It's one of those concepts that shouldn't feel so novel.

Even if Superwoman #2 checks all the boxes in terms of gender dynamics, it fails to check many more. The story quickly becomes choppy and bland. It's less about Superwoman and more about Lana Lang reacting to Lois' death. These reactions are lacking in emotional weight and only serve to put her in a position to fight more monsters. For a character as iconic as Lois Lane, this just comes off as crass.

Lana does get a good assist from her current lover, John "Steel" Irons. He plays the part of a supportive boyfriend, but not much else. He does little to move the story forward or add emotional depth to the situation. He may as well be Lana's personal assistant, who she just happens to be sleeping with. By and large, he just doesn't do enough to make his presence feel relevant.

In principle, there's no reason to doubt that Lana Lang can be a compelling Superwoman. She has the personal connections, the spirit, and the desire to do the job. Within the context of this story, however, her ability to be Superwoman is essentially tied to the fate of Lois Lane. She's not being Superwoman because she feels inclined to use her new powers for the greater good, as Superman would. This story gives the impression that she's embracing this role because of Lois. That excuse may work for Peter Parker, but it doesn't work for Lana Lang.

A big part of Superman's core is that he does the right thing simply because it's the right thing. He doesn't need any other reason. That is the only real reason that matters. Superwoman #1 sets up all the right dynamics to continue that legacy. Superwoman #2 just throws it away, trying to create other reasons that only undermine this ideal.

In the end, the intent of Superwoman #2 is commendable, trying to set Lana Lang up as Superwoman and establishing the necessary factors. The results, however, are shallow and stale. It also gives the impression that post-Flashpoint Lois Lane was a character that DC Comics couldn't wait to get rid of. Now that there's another Lois in place, who perfectly complies the decades-old traditions that dare not be broken, the concept of Lois Lane being Superwoman gets thrown away. It's not just a missed opportunity. It feels downright petty.

The heart and soul of what makes a Superman comic what it is just aren't there. They didn't necessarily die with post-Flashpoint Lois Lane, but there isn't much effort to salvage those elements either. Lana Lang may still develop into a viable Superwoman. She just has a lot of forces working against her and even the strength of Superman may not be enough to overcome them.

Final Score: 4 out of 10

Deriving Novelty from the Inane: Action Comics #962

The following is my review of Action Comics #962, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

When is it okay to put the proverbial genie back in the bottle? Is it even possible to accomplish without destroying the bottle and everything within a five-mile radius? That radius may be much wider when Superman is involved. It may also involve more than one bottle. It sounds confusing and it certainly is. It's a major reason why the events of DC: Rebirth are affecting Superman more than most, but not because of anything Doomsday or Lex Luthor are doing.

DC: Rebirth decides with little to no depth that the genie needs to go back in the bottle. Superman needs to go back to his pre-Flashpoint method of operation. That means every meaningful change from the New 52 has to be nullified, rendered meaningless and pointless in the grand scheme of things. It gives the impression that the narrative of Superman and Action Comics is inherently shallow. It's not that nothing really happens. It's that nothing can happen that has any lasting impact on Superman.

Dan Jurgens is tasked with crafting a meaningful story with this narrative in the first post-Rebirth arc of Action Comics. However, the meaning is often lost in the confusion of all the contrivances attempting to purge New 52 impacts and the all-too familiar clashes with Doomsday. It can't acknowledge that Superman fought Doomsday on multiple occasions during the New 52 era. It can't acknowledge any dramatic entanglements that may or may not have occurred in that era either. It doesn't just limit the story. It flat out ignores the context.

If there is a strength within this confusion, it's Jurgens' efforts to re-frame Superman's story as a husband and father. Action Comics #962 tries to use this strength to complete an arc that relies too much on contrivances and disaster porn. It isn't enough to circumvent the flaws that inevitably emerge when putting Superman back into the pre-Flashpoint bottle, but it does keep the story from falling flat.

Any battle involving Superman and Doomsday has to be destructive. It has to be epic. This is the creature that actually killed Superman at one point. It can't be ended by one punch or by some secret gadget in Batman's utility belt. There has to be destruction, danger, and desperation every step of the way. Jurgens definitely goes the extra distance in capturing these elements. Stephen Segovia's artwork goes just as far in capturing the visuals.

Things blow up. Mountains crumble. The laws of physics are strained in ways that would make Einstein cringe. The aesthetics are definitely there. They help distract from the fact that this is a battle we've seen before. It's a battle that doesn't bring anything that new to the table. Other than Superman having a wife and son, there isn't much in this battle that hasn't played out before. It feels slightly more novel than seeing Batman punch the Joker again, but not by much.

Beneath the aesthetics though, there are still flaws. There's still a sense that this story has to ignore, negate, or undermine the stories that came before it in order to function. The substance of a battle between Superman and Doomsday may check all the right boxes, but the circumstances of that battle have too many blanks and details have some distressing implications.

While the outcome of the battle is never in question, the effects it reveals along the way are telling. It basically pulls back the curtain and shows the actual process of putting Superman's various genies back in the bottle. The revelation of his secret identity is undermined. His romantic history with Wonder Woman is flat out ignored. Lex Luthor's efforts at being a superhero come into question in a way that's fairly predictable. Ignoring circumstances may work with the Joker, but it doesn't work with Superman.

There's little mystery. There's tension. The purpose and goal of this new era of Action Comics is clear even if it's stated indirectly. Superman is going back to the way he was before the Flashpoint reboot. The only difference now is that he has a kid. That may keep the story from feeling regressive, but it still comes off as contrived.

That said, Jurgens manages to make the most of Jon's presence. His personality and youthful charisma add some much-needed novelty to the story. He also creates an extra dimension of drama with Superman. Him being a family man on top of being a superhero helps add some new dynamics to battles that have played out before. He's able to make those dynamics work in Action Comics #962. Peter Parker would be wise to take note.

DC: Rebirth, as a concept, works because it doesn't try too hard to be edgy or modern anymore. After years of trying too hard to make every character more like Batman, this initiative attempts to re-focus on the basics. The approach works when it happens organically and naturally with the characters. With Action Comics and the Superman comics as a whole, there's too much force behind the effort. Superman defines himself by being careful with his vast powers. It's a lesson that DC Comics would be wise to heed.

In this case, putting the genie back in the bottle causes the bottle to crack and fracture. At the very least, Action Comics #962 keeps it from shattering completely. There are one too many predictable plot lines, but there are also new and interesting dynamics emerging within the story. It doesn't prevent some parts of that story from being inane at times, but it still finds a way capture the heart of what makes Superman so iconic.

Final Score: 6 out of 10

Disingenuously Desecrating an Icon: Superman #52

The following is my review of Superman #52, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

In the early 90s, DC Comics did the unthinkable. They killed Superman. They killed a character who can lift mountains, survive supernovas, and somehow remain relevant despite Batman getting more movies. Death of Superman remains a landmark moment for Superman and superhero comics as a whole. Now, a little over two decades later, the idea of Superman dying is officially overdone.

It seems to be the only way to significantly shift Superman's narrative, killing him off and having the rest of the DC Universe deal with the ramifications. That's the approach that Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice utilizes and, as its score on Rotten Tomatoes shows, it doesn't evoke the same passion it did in the early 90s. Now, Superman #52 attempts to utilize this approach in the soon-to-be-rebranded comics.

It's the culmination of a long, overdrawn story that begins after Superman finally got his powers and his Fortress of Solitude back. Now, he's dying and trying to prepare the world for his extended absence, not knowing how poorly his death stuck in the early 90s. However, there's no epic showdown with Doomsday, Darkseid, or Lex Luthor. There's no final journey to cross off the remaining items on his bucket list. Essentially, Superman #52 takes the opposite approach that Grant Morrison took with All-Star Superman and naturally, it shows in the results.

The story that Peter Tomasi finishes never feels complete, concise, or all that dramatic. That's not to say there isn't some level of drama surrounding Superman's pending death. It just comes off as incredibly hollow and for a story that involves the death of a major character, this is the antithesis of the emotions conveyed in the original Death of Superman. Considering that Death of Superman is an over 20-years-old, heavily retconned story, the shortcomings of this story are all the more egregious.

There's no final battle between Superman and some overwhelming evil. He's just battling some deranged copy of himself that he accidentally created with his solar flare power. That means Superman dies fixing a mistake he inadvertently made. It's about as heroic as Tony Stark destroying an evil machine that helps create. The difference with Superman here is that his battle isn't likely to inspire a billion-dollar movie.

There's very little depth to Superman's double. It lacks the menacing presence of Doomsday or the devious personality of Darkseid. He's just a deranged version of Superman who has better grammar than Bizarro. The battle attempts to be epic, but it never dares to be more visceral or violent than a Superfriends rerun. Batman and Wonder Woman are present, but they do nothing to help. They literally can't do anything. Their presence is completely wasted in this struggle. They're just there as witnesses and nothing more.

Even as witnesses though, the drama and impact of Superman's death falls distressingly flat. There's only a brief moment of between Superman and Wonder Woman where she says goodbye to him. That moment basically does the bare minimum for a relationship that developed over the course of four years of comics and not a fraction more.

There's also a moment where he says goodbye to Lois and Lana as well. This doesn't even come close to the bare minimum. There are some tears, but they're distinctly lacking in anguish. The moment is so rushed and contrived that it never has a chance to evoke any real drama. There's more drama in the first five minutes of a Smallville rerun than there is in the entirety of Superman #52. It comes off as wholly disingenuous to this version of Superman and every other version of Superman, retconned or otherwise.

This highlights one of the greatest flaws of the narrative as a whole. The impact from the original Death of Superman is iconic because for a time, it meant that the DC Universe had to function without Superman. That impact is not only completely lacking in Superman #52. It might as well be an inconvenient formality because there's already another Superman with the exact same skills, powers, and personality waiting in the wings. This Superman, a holdover from the events of Convergence, can pretty much pick up where he left off and not miss a beat.

The situation is as such where an iconic character like Superman can die and it has no major ramifications. The DC Universe still has a functioning, competent Superman. Anybody who sees him has no way of telling the difference between him and his predecessor. It's an accomplishment in the worst possible way, making Superman's death feel meaningless and forced. It doesn't just make for a poorly crafted story. It renders the very concept of Superman as something that can be copied, pasted, and pretty much discounted like a faulty battery.

Superman #52 fails at almost every level to make the end of Superman's story in the New 52 feel meaningful. At best, it's rushed and hollow. At worst, it's outright forced by shoving one version of a character aside to make way for another that is almost exactly the same. The circumstances, context, and timing for this narrative can't be worse. Superman is being killed off in multiple mediums, so much so that the shock value just isn't there anymore. By failing to add substance to this story, it feels like a waste.

There is, at the very least, some effort in Superman #52 to show that Superman's death will have some impact on the overall landscape of the DC Universe. From a conceptual standpoint, however, the impact is still very limited. In the end, the final results for the latest and not-so-greatest saga revolving around Superman dying feels downright callous towards DC's most iconic hero.

Final Score: 2 out of 10

Insincere Insecurities: Superman/Wonder Woman Annual #2

The following is my review of Superman/Wonder Woman Annual #2, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Romance in comics is often handled with the same competence as a teenager who keeps failing to pass the 10th grade. When it comes to telling stories about romance between two powerful characters, it's a two-way street with one too many traffic cops. Either a couple is in the process of hooking up or in the process of breaking up. It's will-they-or-won't-they versus how-bad-is-it-going-to-get? Like North Korean election, there is no middle ground.

The list of iconic couples that have succumbed to this narrow narrative that anyone can see in a 90120 rerun has only grown over the years. Couples like Vision and the Scarlet Witch, Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson, and Cyclops and Jean Grey have all been undermined, undone, or utterly nullified via deals with the pseudo-devil. With Reed and Sue Richards possibly joining that list after Secret Wars, there's a real chance that iconic romances could go the way of VHS and mix tapes.

Marvel's handling of romance has been flawed to say the least. That's why DC's efforts with the Superman/Wonder Woman relationship that emerged from the New 52 was so refreshing. For once, it seemed they would actually put an effort into making this a real relationship and leave sticking to tired formulas to bad Johnny Depp movies. They just had the resist the urge to slip back into familiar territory once the narrative required more effort.

The events of Darkseid War and Truth have made that temptation very strong. And the events of Superman/Wonder Woman Annual #2 attempt to give an overall perspective of the relationship, if only to explore the extent of its potential. The narrative that unfolds leaves us with more questions than answers, but it still provides solid insight into the only relationship that either Marvel or DC has put any effort into developing.

This isn't a story where Superman and Wonder Woman team up to punch Lex Luthor and Cheetah in the jaw while making out on their unconscious bodies. It's more an inner reflection told by Superman, comparing his relationship with Wonder Woman to the relationship his adopted parents had. In some ways, it's both a fair and unfair comparison. Jonathan and Martha Kent represent the gold standard for a loving couple and loving parents. Comparing any relationship to them is like comparing every man's endowment to that of Ron Jeremy.

However, it is a fair comparison in the sense that this relationship is Superman's insight into what a loving couple should be. Compared to those who get their ideas of love from Twilight books and Kanye West videos, this is as good a standard as any man could use. And throughout Superman's musings, we see how his relationship with Wonder Woman meets and does not meet that standard.

We see moments in the relationship where things are sunshine, rainbows, and Celine Dion songs. From getting frisky in the Justice League Watchtower to sharing a double date with Aquaman and Mera, these moments make clear that the love these two shared was genuine and passionate. Some of it is the kind of puppy love that made Stephanie Meyers rich. Some of it is a deeper, more meaningful love that would never made it into a Julia Roberts movie. These moments provide depth, but they also set the stage for the flaws in the narrative.

As Superman's musings continue, we get more insight into other parts of his relationship with Wonder Woman that were never explored in their respective comics. One such moment was him reacting to Wonder Woman becoming the new God of War. While it doesn't lead to an argument, it does reveal some insecurities. And these aren't the kind of insecurities that can be overcome with extra date nights and chocolates either.

The insecurities in this case eventually morph into obstacles. Wonder Woman being the God of War and Superman losing his powers become excuses for uncertainty. And this is the main weakness of the narrative. The uncertainty feels forced and somewhat petty. And when Superman and Wonder Woman start to get petty without the influence of Brainiac, then something is wrong.

Some of these issues that are explored don't need to be issues, but they're presented in such a way and that makes them feel less than genuine. The idea that Superman doesn't trust Wonder Woman to handle being the God of War or that Wonder Woman doesn't trust Superman to be who he is without his powers isn't just disingenuous. It's unreasonable. Again, unless Brainiac is influencing them, they have no excuses.

It's towards the end that these forced insecurities start to have a negative impact on the relationship. That's not to say that it makes the emotions less sincere. If anything, it reveals that Superman and Wonder Woman's relationship still lacks the maturity to make it a reasonable comparison to the Kents. Even if they're still light years ahead of any relationship Marvel has attempted in the past five years, the insecurities are inflated to a point where Superman and Wonder Woman feel out of character.

There are plenty of moments in Superman/Wonder Woman Annual #2 where the strengths and the progression of the Superman/Wonder Woman relationship are well-developed. But the conflicts that are explored in this issue feel too forced. It gives the impression that DC is succumbing to the same temptation that Marvel did when they nullified Spider-Man's marriage with Mary Jane Watson. Even if this doesn't lead to another deal with Mephisto, it feels like someone is too ready to sell their soul.

Every relationship faces conflicts and obstacles. The Superman/Wonder Woman relationship is no different. But in the same way comics rely too often on Nazis and evil scientists, they rely too much on forcing dysfunction within a relationship to make it interesting. Superman and Wonder Woman don't have to be on the verge of breaking up or making up to be meaningful. The emotions between them just have to be sincere. And with the exception of sociopaths and poorly moderated message boards, these emotions appeal to everybody.

Final Score: 6 out of 10

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 21: War and Peace and Love is LIVE!

It’s official! My first ever Superman/Wonder Woman story is complete. It took a good chunk of this year, but I did it. I told a story of DC’s ultimate power couple and completed it. I’m not going to lie. It was a uniquely challenging story. I’m not talking challenging in a way like Lost or Fight Club. I’m not even talking about the challenge that comes with capturing the passion and heart of these two characters. The sincerity of Superman and Wonder Woman’s love is never in question. It’s the world around them that presents the challenges.

Those same challenges are reflective of them being the heroes they are. They each possess so much power, both physically and personally. Superman has the power to move planets and demolish cities. Wonder Woman has the power to kill gods and destroy entire armies. However, they don’t use their power in that way. Even when they get a chance to resolve a conflict with power alone, they choose not to use it. That’s what makes them heroes and that’s what makes them such great characters.

Throughout this story, I put Superman and Wonder Woman in some very difficult situations. Superman had a chance to defend himself against the hostel Amazons. He chose not to. He endured their wrath and that of Ares. He did so because he understood that power alone is not an effective way to solve a problem. Wonder Woman understood that too. That’s why she went into the same battle, knowing the gods had turned everyone she loved against her. But she didn’t let that stop her from doing the right thing.

Now, Superman and Wonder Woman have set a powerful example for the gods and for the Amazons. They proved through their compassion and their love that there is a better way. In this final chapter, the example they set starts to take hold. That, in many ways, is their greatest power and the greatest testament to their love. It stands as an example and an ideal for others to strive towards and it marks the culmination of a story that has come so far.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 21: War and Peace and Love

When I began this story, I knew I was taking on a challenge. Superman and Wonder Woman are difficult characters to write, but that’s exactly what makes their stories worth telling. I told a story of how they came together and how their love helped them overcome overwhelming odds. The response I’ve gotten from this story has been fantastic, especially from Superman/Wonder Woman fans. With that, I hope to tell another Superman/Wonder Woman story down the line. For now, this is the end of my first attempt and I hope it’s as awesome as DC’s ultimate power couple deserves to be. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 20: Remorse and Reconciliation is LIVE!

Sometimes the hardest part of the battle is the aftermath. When the bullets stop flying and the dust starts to settle, the impact finally sinks in. For some, it’s traumatic. For some, it’s a relief. For others, it’s a chaotic mix of conflicting feelings that’ll give even the Lex Luthors of the world migraines. But in many respects, it’s the most important part of a story.

That’s the point I’m at with “Strangers In Paradise.” That’s right. My first ever Superman/Wonder Woman story is in the home stretch. It’s been quite an experience, one that has tested my abilities in ways I never expected. But I like to think I rose to the challenge. I like to think I lived up to Superman and Wonder Woman’s standard, both as characters and as a couple. The previous chapter acted as the big, climactic battle. Every conflicting force converged from the gods of Olympus to the plot by Lex Luthor. In the end, Superman and Wonder Woman triumphed. They won the day. But what about tomorrow?

This is where the true core of Superman and Wonder Woman’s relationship is at its best. These are two insanely powerful characters. At numerous points in the story, they could’ve crossed certain lines to make it easier on themselves. However, they never concerned themselves about how hard a decision was. They only ever cared about doing the right thing, both as individuals and as a couple. That, more than anything else, is the strength of their character and their love.

In any relationship, doing the right thing will always come with more obstacles than choosing an easier path. Most flawed human beings will be hindered at some point. But Superman and Wonder Woman represent an ideal. For them, there’s no debate. They don’t try to walk that fine line between right and wrong. They will do what is right for them and for others. That’s what makes them so strong as heroes and as lovers. And that’s what I intend to show as the dust settles in this story.

Strangers In Paradise
Chapter 20: Remorse and Reconciliation
There’s just one chapter left now. My first Superman/Wonder Woman story is just about complete. There are a few more loose ends to tie up. There are few more emotions I want to capture before I put the finishing touch on this story. I’ve been very pleased with the support I’ve received from Superman/Wonder Woman fans thus far. I hope it continues as this story concludes. Please remember to take the time to review or post comments. I’m always happy to chat, especially if it means making my stories more awesome. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 19: Pain and Sacrifice is LIVE!

It took me longer than I hoped. You can thank unexpected complications and the New York Comic Con for that. But I still did it. I updated Strangers In Paradise. I know. I know. I'm a sick son-of-a-bitch for making readers wait nearly a month for the next chapter. I ended Chapter 18 with such a juicy teaser that I should be locked in a public restroom at a Jets game with no air freshener for not updating sooner. But between the delays Marvel has had with Secret Wars and the delays DC had with Forever Evil and Convergence, I think I deserve some credit. It's not like I pulled a Bryan Hitch or anything.

But it's true. This chapter is the culmination of Superman and Wonder Woman's struggle in this story. First, they came together in their youth. Second, they found each other years later after so many obstacles. Third, they built a powerful, meaningful relationship despite those obstacles. Now, in the final test of their struggle together, they must trust in each other completely to overcome a threat that was born from both their worlds.

Lex Luthor has usurped the power of the gods. He willingly cooperated with Ares and Apollo in a plot to overthrow Olympus. Had he been like the many mortals of myth, they might have succeeded. But Lex Luthor is no ordinary mortal. He's the smartest, most ruthless mortal that the gods have ever dealt with. They thought they could control him. They were wrong. In the end, it was Luthor who manipulated them. Now, he has both the Annihilator Armor and the power of Erebus at his disposal. Now, he's set to unleash this power on the world and take his rightful place as the true Man of Tomorrow.

The only ones standing in his way now are Superman and Wonder Woman. They stand as the final obstacle between Lex Luthor and ultimate triumph. But if they're to stand a chance, they'll need to trust in both each other and the influence they've had on those around them. Superman and Wonder Woman dared to defy the traditions of those around them, be it the people of Metropolis or the Amazons. They dared to show that love, trust, and understanding can be more powerful than hatred, fear, and mistrust. Will those efforts pay off? That's what this final battle will reveal.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 19: Pain and Sacrifice

The final battle is here, but the impact it makes has only begun. That impact will affect more than Superman and Wonder Woman. While this is a critical test in their relationship in terms of sharing each others' burdens, it is also a major turning point for those around them. What will this mean for Wonder Woman's exile? What will this mean for Olympus? What will this mean for Clark Kent? Those are all questions that will be answered in time. But for now, the big battle is here. And it's shows Superman and Wonder Woman at their best. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 18: Blind Darkness is LIVE!

There are certain villains that are in a class all their own. They don’t just embody all the traits we associate with evil and malice. They do it with a skill and refinement akin to a world class artist. In that sense, Lex Luthor is the Leonardo Da Vinci of supervillains. In fact, Lex Luthor would probably say that compared to him, Da Vinci was a hack. And the disturbing thing is he’s probably right.

If all the villains in comics were put into an arena and ranked as a whole, then Lex Luthor would be in the uppermost tier, most likely mocking all those who think he’s on his level. He’s a special kind of villain. There’s no doubt about it. He doesn’t just think he’s superior. He knows he’s superior. And for the most part, he’s absolutely right. According to his own Wikipedia entry, he is the most intelligent human being in the DC universe and one of the most intelligent beings overall. He doesn’t have superpowers, but with genius like his he doesn’t need it.

He’s not just smart. He’s got an ego that’s second to none. He never sees himself more than a man, but he believes his genius to be equal among gods. It’s that unique ego that has put him in a unique position in Strangers In Paradise. The Amazons and the Gods of Olympus are all powerful and daunting in their own respect. However, they’ve never dealt with a man like Lex Luthor. Ares and Apollo thought they could manipulate him, as the gods have manipulated mortals for centuries. They were wrong.

It was never a matter of if Lex would outsmart Ares and Apollo. It was only ever a matter of when. And in the previous chapter, just as Ares had unlocked the Tomb of Erebus, that time came. Lex made his move. He dared to defy the will of the gods. And he succeeded where every mythological hero before him failed.

Lex’s involvement in this conflict is very much a culmination of Superman and Wonder Woman’s greatest challenge in building a relationship. They went to such great lengths just to get together. But at some point, they were going to get caught up in each others conflicts. Superman was going to get caught up with the Amazons again. And Wonder Woman was going to get in the crossfire of Superman’s enemies. Between Lex Luthor and renegade gods, this is a conflict that they can’t hope to overcome on their own. In the greatest test of their relationship to date, they must stop Lex Luthor together. And that test begins now.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 18: Blind Darkness

There aren’t a lot of forces that can match the collective power of Superman and Wonder Woman. Together, they’re two of the most powerful beings in the DC Universe. However, Lex Luthor is still the smartest. And now he’s got the power of gods with which to fight. It’s the kind of clash that will either make them stronger or break them completely. This is still my first ever Superman/Wonder Woman story and I wanted to make the final battle be sufficiently epic. Thanks to Lex Luthor, I think I’ve achieved just that. Nuff said!

Anatomy of a Betrayal: Superman #43

The following is my review of Superman #43, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

It takes many years of work and dedication to build trust. Conversely, it takes only seconds to destroy. It's akin to a wholly unfair law of physics. It takes a master artist years to craft a beautiful painting or a sculpture whereas it takes an idiot with a hammer or a blowtorch just a few seconds to destroy it. Trust is like a work of art that everyone tries to create. For Superman, however, this work of art might as well be in a museum surrounded by pyromaniacs and drunks.

Despite his dedication to helping his adopted home, Superman does not readily trust others with the intimate details of his personal life. It's how he maintains both an alien and a human persona. And for decades, this has been a big part of his identity. Being able to live both lives helps anchor him to humanity, even though he's an alien with the power to bench press a planet. Now, one of those lives is shattered and the other is severely wounded. And it hits him in way that makes a bath in liquid kryptonite seem relaxing.

Of the very few people that Superman has trusted over the years, Lois Lane is the trustworthy equivalent of the Sistine Chapel. Whether they're married or just respected co-workers, few relationships have been integral to the Man of Steel's mythos than the trust he has in Lois Lane. She's the one who helped introduce Superman to the world. She's the one who helped create the very concept of Superman. Like Steve Jobs and Apple, Lois Lane helped create the iconic brand of Superman, minus the turtleneck and jeans.

Yet in Superman #43, she's the one who does to most to undermine that concept. She betrays a trust that was once as implicit as a dog and his bone. It's this betrayal that gives weight to the, but that weight turns out to be hollow in some areas. The main purpose of this story is to put Lois Lane in a position where she has to be the one to expose Superman's identity. By that most minimum of standards, it succeeds. Anything beyond that, however, requires the story to be graded on a curve.

Even without that curve, the details of the story still warrant a passing grade. The entire first half of the story is dedicated to reaffirming the trust and bond that Superman and Lois Lane share. It's a trust and bond that circumvents the usual romantic undertones and in many respects, that helps make it more genuine. Superman and Lois trust each other in a way that isn't clouded by emotion. It's built heavily on mutual respect. When the concept of every romantic comedy and 70 percent of all sitcoms revolve around friends becoming lovers, it's a refreshing moment.

It's this moment that gives Lois' actions a sense of impact. It's also a moment that adds complications to the ongoing conflict between Superman and Hordor. It's a conflict that began with Hordor revealing that he knows Superman's identity as well and is using it to extort him. It has already put Superman in a difficult position, one of which ended up with him waking up naked in a bed next to a fully-clothed Lois. The idea that it could lead to some much more volatile situations isn't too much of a stretch, especially for someone dating Wonder Woman.

The circumstances are in place. The details of the story are present to give Lois' actions significant emotional weight. Like all the ingredients to a good turkey dinner, everything is in place. But when the time comes to put these ingredients together, the end result isn't as savory as it could've been.

The main issue with the cooking process of this story is that it was rushed. The clash that unfolds between Superman and Hordor seems to skip multiple steps, some of which might have involved pre-heating the proverbial oven. Superman basically goes from confronting Hordor to doing exactly as he says, not making a significant effort to work around it or find another way. For most heroes, that could be understandable. But this is Superman. Even if he's at half-strength, he's still more resourceful than an army of Angus McGuiver clones.

Because this process is so heavily rushed, Lois Lane essentially follows suit. She skips those same critical steps, never stopping for a moment to contemplate another way to remedy the situation. Instead of trying to find a more cunning way to stop Hordor from extorting Superman, she essentially jumps the gun and exposes his identity. And even though she told him earlier in the story that she would keep his secret, she does it in a downright callous manner. It gives the impression that Lois Lane treats her promises the same way Donald Trump treats bankruptcy.

This is the biggest shortcoming of the story. It doesn't give the sense that Lois revealing Superman's identity was the only solution to the problem. And even if those details where present, there's nothing emotional or dramatic about Lois' decision. She just assesses the situation, shrugs, and goes through with it. That is the impression she gives. It's not outright cold, but it is still callous on a level more befitting of Hillary Clinton than Lois Lane.

Even with this shortcoming, Superman #43 still accomplishes its main goal. It creates the circumstances in which Lois Lane has to be the one to expose Superman's identity to the world. Those circumstances aren't wholly unreasonable. It's just the execution of those circumstances that limits the impact of the story. It doesn't create the impact of an unavoidable tragedy. It just creates the sense that Lois Lane is a lousy friend.

There is still merit to the story in Superman #43 in that it makes an effort to establish an impact. It effectively asserts that even in a world where Superman and Lois Lane are not Shakespearean star-crossed lovers, there is still a powerful connection between these two. It's a connection that is now heavily damaged, but not completely shattered. However, it's probably going to be a while before Superman trusts Lois with anything other than his shoe size.

Final Score: 6 out of 10

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 17: Allied Hearts is LIVE!

There comes a point in every conflict where the forces of karma have a way of balancing out a massive clusterfuck that has become too lopsided. It doesn't always happen at once. Sometimes the process of biting someone else in the ass takes time and patience. The Vietnam War is proof enough of that. But when the enemy is Ares, the God of War, and a Lex Luthor, who might as well be the God of Ego and Baldness, there isn't much room for patience.

This is part of the challenge in writing a Superman/Wonder Woman story. These two characters are among the most powerful characters in the history of comics. Superman has moved planets, destroyed solar systems by sneezing, and made a sex tape with Big Barda (see Action Comics #592 and #593). Wonder Woman has battled entire armies, slain gods, and held the title of both Queen and Goddess. Even Disney would say she's pushing it. So when these two forge a relationship, who or what could possibly be strong enough to stand against them? It's a challenge, but it's one worth taking on.

At this point in my story, Superman and Wonder Woman have walked right into the trap laid by Ares and Lex Luthor. They entered the domain of the gods and they got beat. It wasn't because they were too weak either. Ares, Lex Luthor, and Apollo outsmarted and outwitted them. They put them in situations where they couldn't just fight their way out. It's the perfect tactic and one that even the strongest can't avoid. Now Superman is Ares' prisoner and Wonder Woman is in an unwinnable battle against Lex Luthor and her corrupted sisters.

However, all that cunning and treachery comes at a price. Eventually, even the gods and Lex Luthors of the world will piss off enough people that they can't avoid the backlash. And sometimes that backlash is more powerful than a romantically linked Superman and Wonder Woman. With the stakes getting higher and time running out, that backlash is set to begin. But will it be enough? That's what this latest chapter of "Strangers In Paradise" will start to reveal.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 17: Allied Hearts

The conflict is escalating to its highest point and so are the emotions. This is a conflict that Superman and Wonder Woman cannot overcome with their might as individuals. This is something that they'll have to get through together. It's a true test of strength, trust, and love. And it's only going to get harder as time runs out. But they wouldn't be much of a Power Couple if they couldn't rise to the challenge. Nuff said!

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 16: Front Lines is LIVE!

There are a number of ways for a strong relationship to stay strong, but there are always many more ways to destroy it. Sometimes, those ways that destroy a relationship are outside anyone’s control. Nobody chooses their significant other to have asshole parents, crazy ex-lovers, or enemies at the IRS. Sometimes that’s just how shit plays out. If they love each other enough and fight hard enough, a couple can overcome this. Sometimes it takes money, lawyers, and a significantly bruise ego (among other things), but it can work.

For Superman and Wonder Woman, they’re kind of used to having crazy, fucked up forces working against them. Superman tries to fight for truth, justice, and the American way in a world where Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders are serious presidential candidates. Wonder Woman tries for honor, compassion, and empathy in a world where dictators, tyrants, and reality shows undermine every one of those concepts. They’ve been able to fight those battles pretty well on their own. Then, they come together and they have to fight an entirely different set of battles to make it work. But for love, that shit is worth it.

I know it’s cheesy. I know it’s the basis for every song by every boy band in history. But no matter how cynical or jaded someone might be, they understand on some levels that love is worth fighting for. So as I’ve explored Superman and Wonder Woman’s relationship in “Strangers In Paradise,” I’ve tried give them a worthy fight. That’s not easy. These are two of the most powerful characters in the DC Universe. Superman can wipe his ass with entire planets and Wonder Woman can bust the balls of every male creature within the same galactic neighborhood. But in this story, they face a threat that no amount of brute strength and cheesy love songs can solve.

Right now, they’re facing a shit storm convergence, courtesy of familiar faces that just love stirring up shit. Lex Luthor, the gods of Olympus, and the Amazons have all coordinated to create the kind of conflict that tests more than just their relationship. Superman and Wonder Woman are basically at ground zero of a divine clusterfuck with Lex Luthor providing extra lube. Ares has subdued his father and taken over Olympus. Apollo has set up shop in the mortal realm. The Amazons are now being mind-controlled by Ares and Lex Luthor is packing divine muscle in the Annihilator Armor. Even by Superman/Wonder Woman standards, this makes for a pretty shitty day.

And it’s about to get worse. Superman and Wonder Woman have already taken the first steps into this shit storm, working together as best they can in an effort to stop it. But even with their power, they can only do so much. And they’re about to find out just how shitty it’s going to get. All I can say is they’re going to need more than a romantic getaway to recover from this one.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 16: Front Lines

This isn’t just about testing Superman and Wonder Woman’s relationship. It’s also going to test their resolve and their ideals, as any great struggle against those who stir up shit storms ought to. It’s not enough to test them physically. It’s not even enough to test their relationship. The way they go about being heroes is always being challenged and they have to find a way to rise to that challenge. But this is one challenge they can’t take on as individuals. They have to do it together.

Again, I know that sounds like a lyric from an old Brittney Spears song, but it’s true. Even two of the most powerful beings in comics can be challenged in a way that doesn’t feel bland and contrived. It’s a hard story to tell, but it’s one that’s worth telling. Nuff said!

Equals in an Unequal Struggle: Superman/Wonder Woman #19

The following is my review of Superman/Wonder Woman #19, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

When things are good, every relationship feels like the opening theme to a 90s sitcom. It’s all smiles, laughter, and terrible music from the Hootie and Blowfish type bands. Even Tina and Ike Turner probably had their good days. It’s only when things get bad that we find out which couples are the Waldens and which couple are the Bundies.

Since DC decided to do the most obvious romantic pairing since Mulder and Scully in the X-Files, the Superman/Wonder Woman relationship has evolved in an astoundingly mature way. There was no beating around the bush, Ross and Rachel style. There was no drawn out melodrama that every reality show ever has tried to capture. Superman and Wonder Woman just came together, embraced the opportunity, and actually made the effort to create a functioning relationship.

In fact, they’ve put more effort into their relationship than every couple that ever got together in 90210. They’ve gotten to a point where they truly carried themselves as equals, making complementing their strengths and confronting their weaknesses. They’re not defined by their romance, but they are better because of it.

Now, Superman and Wonder Woman’s relationship is being tested in a way that even the worst romantic comedy has never attempted. Superman’s identity has been exposed. His powers have been severely curtailed. On top of that, someone is intent on destroying the ruins of Clark Kent’s life and spitting on the ashes. If ever he needed the support of his girlfriend, it’s now. If ever there was a hardship for a relationship, this is right up there with a weekend at the in-laws.

Superman/Wonder Woman #19 puts Wonder Woman at ground zero of the ongoing effort to make her lover miserable. She doesn’t have to be part of this fight, but she chooses to be part of it because she cares about her lover just that much. In doing so, we get a story with an engaging, dramatic narrative that never feels overly dramatic. There’s no part of this situation that’s ideal for either Superman or Wonder Woman, but that’s exactly what makes the drama meaningful.

They’ve already had a decidedly bad day since showing up in Smallville. They arrived to investigate the disappearance of its people, which includes Superman’s old flame, Lana Lang. That day gets even worse when they encounter the Suicide Squad. At this point, a tornado and a string of outdated Wizard of Oz jokes would have been less frustrating. It leads to a fairly basic clash that nobody is going to mistake for a war with Darkseid, but it still creates some meaningful moments.

In any other circumstances, this is the kind of fight that Superman and Wonder Woman could brush aside in the same way Bill Gates brushes aside a check from Applebees. But with Superman’s powers being limited, the battle takes on a much more urgent tone. He can’t just cough in a way that’ll blow Black Manta, Harley Quinn, and Deadshot into the next County. He has to get his hands dirty and take a few bullets. It forces Superman to be less upstanding than usual, carrying himself like a hung over Rocky Balboa at times. But it doesn’t stop him from being Superman.

This also doesn’t stop Wonder Woman from being the warrior and lover she’s always been. She’s used to protecting those weaker than her, but she’s probably not used to Superman being among them. Even so, the battle never becomes like an inverted version of Super Mario. She doesn’t have to be his hero. She just has to keep being his lover. She fights by his side, not in his place. It may not make for a good Nintendo game, but it does reveal a mature and evolving relationship.

Beyond their relationship, there’s also a compelling story unfolding behind the scenes. During the battle against the Suicide Squad, we find out that they’re not responsible for the disappearances of the people in Smallville. That means even the Amanda Wallers in the government are clueless as well. It further deepens the mystery. It’s not as simple as Lex Luthor attempting to troll Superman in the worst possible way. There are other forces at work here.

We get some hints as to who might behind this, but not nearly enough. We can only confirm at this point that whoever is behind this, they’re not done tormenting Superman. And for some reason, they think it’s a good idea to mess with a very irritated Superman, who also happens to be Wonder Woman’s boyfriend. Ignoring the death wish behind this plot, it raises a few intriguing questions that warrant further exploration.

It’s also at this point where another important aspect of Superman and Wonder Woman’s relationship is exposed. While Wonder Woman doesn’t have to save Superman in the Princess Peach tradition, she still has to treat him when he gets wounded. She also makes it clear that his vulnerability worries her, as it probably should for any caring lover. It makes for a tender moment, but it never becomes too much like a Greys Anatomy sub-plot. Superman doesn’t let it.

Instead, he makes it clear that he doesn’t want Wonder Woman to change how she goes about being Wonder Woman. He does the exact opposite of what the majority of love stories in Disney movies do, telling his lover to not change who she is or how she lives her life. It may be jarring to those used to seeing women upend their lives for a handsome man or men doing the same for a beautiful woman, but that’s what helps set Superman and Wonder Woman apart. It is truly a relationship of equals.

That mutual trust and shared struggle is what makes Superman/Wonder Woman #19 feel like another important step in the development of this relationship. They’ve shared major battles together. They’ve shared the frustrations of being on the same team as Batman together. Now, they’re sharing each other’s personal struggles and even when one of them is weak, it still feels like a relationship among equals. That sort of thing is difficult to find in an era of radical feminism, men’s rights activists, and Kardashian marriages. But that’s exactly what makes it so meaningful.

Final Score: 8 out of 10

Scanned Thoughts: Superman/Wonder Woman #19

What is true love? My grandfather said true love is being able to throw up in a toilet while your lover holds your hair and sings to you. My ex-girlfriends would disagree, but I'm convinced that some of them don't know the difference between true love and having an neutered dog. This is a debate that has baffled philosophers, emperors, and shitty movies for ages. I sure as hell can't debate this kind of shit when I'm overly sober, but I can at least accept one argument. We know love when we see it.

And right now, anyone who doesn't have a raging hard-on for Lois Lane has to say that the Superman/Wonder Woman relationship is the kind of love that would make a guy like me quit drinking. They're a relationship of equals. Their not defined by their love for each other. They're made stronger and happier because of it. They actually go out of their way to work on their relationship to make it better. Hell, I couldn't get my last girlfriend to order a fucking pizza for me. Superman and Wonder Woman have shown what it takes to make love work.

Now, they're showing what happens when a special breed of asshole goes out of their way to make someone's life miserable. Superman's identity has been exposed. And since it's not enough that he can't live the life he worked so hard to maintain, someone has to go out of his way to desecrate his old home in Smallville. Outside Game of Thrones, there aren't many people who can claim to be that cruel. Someone wants to torment Clark Kent and Diana Prince is ready to stand by her man. That's what makes the setup for Superman/Wonder Woman #19 so intriguing. It also reminds me that true love and navigating shit storms aren't a mutually exclusive process.

I'm not sure what category shit storm that fighting the Suicide Squad in a graveyard falls under, but I imagine it's the kind that would get most people to board up their houses and stock up on duct tape. Superman and Wonder Woman have been investigating a distress call from Superman's old gal pal, Lana Lang. That distress call has revealed that someone has gone to great lengths to troll Superman in the worst possible way. Even the 4chan crowd would be impressed. Now, the Suicide Squad shows up to make Superman even more miserable. I'm not sure this counts as rubbing kryptonite laced salt in the wound, but it damn well ought to.

Under traditional circumstances, a fight between the Suicide Squad and the collective muscle of Superman and Wonder Woman wouldn't be fair. Hell, it's a fight that would be over the moment Superman and Wonder Woman got bored, tired, or horny. But Superman is not at full strength. He's vulnerable, both physically and emotionally. That makes the fight a bit more fair, but he still has Wonder Woman on his side so it's still more lopsided than a drinking contest between a Mormon and a Kennedy.

Fair or not, it still makes for a much more visceral battle. It's not as epic as a clash with Darkseid or Zod would be, but it's still pretty satisfying. Wonder Woman takes on the heavy hitters like Reverse Flash. Superman takes on the dipshits who still think shooting him will solve their problems. Even in his weakened form, he's got to be rolling his eyes. But these aren't typical Bond villain henchmen. They're the Suicide Squad. They have some personality in addition to their personality disorders. So there's plenty of entertainment value, as is often the case whenever Harley Quinn gets involved.

Entertaining aside, there's still one burning question that semi-sober minds are probably asking. Why the fuck would the Suicide Squad attack Superman in the first place? Who honestly thought it was a good idea to attack Wonder Woman's man? I don't know what kind of drugs would make someone think that shit, but even I wouldn't try them.

Wonder Woman makes sure she gets that point across, even to demented minds like Harley Quinn. But this question becomes somewhat moot while Superman is battling Black Manta. During their struggle, he reveals something intriguing. As sane as it sounds, the Suicide Squad's mission didn't involve fucking with Superman and Wonder Woman. They arrived in Smallville because others have noted some crazy shit going on. That means they didn't kick up this shit storm. They just got sent into it.

This adds another layer to the mystery and one that adds a new dimension to Superman's ongoing identity issue. Before his identity got exposed, most people probably couldn't find Smallville on a map, let alone think anything more remarkable than a pie-eating contest would occur. Now that everyone knows it's Clark Kent's hometown, it's attracting all the wrong kinds of attention and that includes the Suicide Squad. It's another testament to just how fucked Superman is in a world where he has no secret identity anymore.

Intrigue or not, the Suicide Squad isn't passing up an opportunity to rough up Superman when he's vulnerable. They might have had a chance to succeed if Wonder Woman hadn't been with him. But she is so they're more fucked than a Greek bank's credit rating. That's not to say Superman still doesn't show some grit. While Wonder Woman protects him from Deadshot's onslaught, he goes out of his way to really fuck up Black Manta. He doesn't try to be nice and friendly about it either. He's still Superman, but he's a Superman in a foul mood. He won't murder Black Manta, but he will make him wish he was dead and sometimes that's just as heroic.

The battle finally ends and as satisfying as it might be to rough up the Suicide Squad, they still need answers. And as it just so happens, Superman left Black Manta conscious. I'm sure he still wishes he were dead, but that just means it sucks even more to be him. He reiterates that the Suicide Squad had nothing to do with the disappearances. They're investigating it too and since this happens to be the hometown of Superman, sending a team of deranged villains just felt right. It still leaves Superman pretty pissed off, but it helps deepen the mystery.

For some, however, they couldn't give three tenths of a fuck about mystery. They have a chance to kick Superman when he's down and fuck, they're going to take it. That's exactly what Deadshot does, who they also left conscious. Superman and Wonder Woman probably regret being so merciful, especially Superman because he ends up getting a full-fledged bullet massage. It doesn't kill him, but just as he did with Black Manta, it makes him wish he were dead.

It's not the worst blow Superman has ever taken by a long shot. It's still probably more of an annoyance on par with a mild rectal itch. But it's a moment that once again reinforces just how vulnerable Superman is right now. He's still strong enough to take a bullet, but now they don't just bounce off him. Now they actually fucking hurt. I imagine it's a lot harder to stand for truth, justice, and the American way when you're sore as fuck, but that's why he's Superman.

And Wonder Woman is still his lover so Deadshot just ensured he'll need to be dry humping morphine for the next three weeks. She does a reverse Princess Peach and limits Superman's soreness as best she could. She also makes damn sure that Deadshot will be way more sore for the foreseeable future. It's yet another mark of genuine love. One person fucks with their lover, that person gets fucked up as a result. It's simple, genuine, romantic, and even a little violent, but in the best possible way. It's not the kind of shit that'll ever show up in a romantic comedy and that's exactly what makes it so satisfying.

What makes it even more satisfying is how Wonder Woman rushes to his aid. But she doesn't try to prop him up and baby him. She's his girlfriend, not his mother. He's sore and wounded, but at least he had someone to take it out on and Wonder Woman was there to share in the fun. I'm pretty sure this counts as a date by their twisted standards. Wonder Woman even finds a way to add some extra sentiment, giving him the old Kent family mailbox as something he can hold onto. It's not the most romantic gift she could've given him. I'm pretty sure crotchless panties would've revitalized him just as much. But it gets the point across. It's the kind of non-creepy romantic gesture that even Twilight haters can enjoy.

Beyond the romance, we get a few more hints as to who's fucking with Superman's life and thinks it's a good idea. While Wonder Woman flies him away, someone else is spying on him. He's not Lex Luthor. In fact, he looks kind of like the principal of my old high school, which means he must have choked a live puppy at some point in his day. He's also intrigued at Superman's vulnerability and probably wants to exploit the fuck out of it. And he makes it clear that he's not done fucking with him. Either he really hates Superman or getting beat up by Wonder Woman is the only thing that'll give him a boner anymore.

Wonder Woman takes Superman back to the bunker under his old house, which is probably the only part of his life as Clark Kent that wasn't hit with a TNT enema. While there, Wonder Woman plays the part of the sexy nurse girlfriend, but in a completely non-porno way. It makes for a wonderfully sweet moment that should still give some people the same boners that sexy nurse porn will. Superman is badly bruised and in a lot of pain. Wonder Woman is there to treat him. It's a beautiful moment. It's intimate without being overly sexy. For once, my heart and my penis are in agreement.

Beyond the sentiment of the moment, Superman says something important that some women only wish their lover's would say. He tells Wonder Woman that they can't go into a battle where she has to worry about protecting him all the time. Even though he's vulnerable, she has to trust him to carry his own weight. Now that might not apply in a battle against Darkseid or a coked up Lex Luthor, but they be an inverted version of Super Mario brothers. They still have to trust each other, even when one of them isn't at full strength.

What makes this moment so special is that it shows how Superman isn't going to let his girlfriend fight his battles for him. Some men might be okay with that. Some might even prefer it. But Superman still has to be Superman. It still worries Wonder Woman because like any genuine lover, she doesn't want to lose him. And some women will wrap their lovers in bubble wrap and duct tape in a very unsexy way to protect them. But she's not willing to be that obsessive. She's Wonder Woman, not some character Jennifer Anniston plays in shitty movies.

Once they make these reservations known, Superman focuses back on the conflict at hand. He's still Superman. He's still determined to save innocent people, especially those from his hometown. To do that, he'll have to do some kind of crazy shit that only Superman can get away with doing. And he has to do it without Wonder Woman. It feeds directly off the conversation they just had. He needs her to trust him to do what he needs to do and she has to believe him when he says she doesn't want to be in this part of the shit storm. It's a test that even mature relationships will fuck up every now and then. With these two, the margin for fucking up is extremely small. It's a powerful moment that conveys its power while fully clothed. That alone helps make it meaningful.

So why exactly would Superman not want Wonder Woman to tag along through this wing of the shit storm? Well, there's actually a very believable explanation for that and one most women, minus those who get reality shows on A&E, would understand. It involves Superman breaking into the White House and having a chat with the President himself. So yeah, this is shit that only Superman could do and not be the target for drone strikes for the next eight years. And bringing Wonder Woman along for this would only make it more awkward. Two of the world's most powerful heroes breaking into the White House doesn't send a very good message. One vulnerable hero who just got attacked by a government-sponsored task force is more palatable. At worst, it'll trigger a few committee hearings and some bitching from John McCain.

In reading the Superman/Wonder Woman comics, I've come to see it as the antithesis to romantic comedies and softcore porn on Cinemax. This series isn't about some quirky way a couple of attractive, model-worthy people hook up and start humping. This is about two people actually building a meaningful relationship. The fact that they're two of the most iconic heroes in the history of comics is actually secondary. Think about that for a moment. The heroics that make Superman and Wonder Woman the icons they've been since the days of FDR is superseded by a relationship. And yet, it's still awesome.

This is the kind of relationship that won't get Twilight fans horny, but it will get anyone who values honest, realistic romance excited. And yes, there are people who do appreciate that shit. They won't admit it and they'll deny it until the day they die, but it's a common theme that binds anyone who has ever been in love in any capacity. So unless you're an emo goth who never stops listening to Linken Park songs, this comic will resonate.

The battle against the Suicide Squad was nicely detailed, even if it didn't do anything overly epic. But more than anything else, it deepened the mystery and put Superman on a more dangerous path. We still don't know who has been making him miserable, but we know Wonder Woman is giving him something to fight for. And she can do it while keeping her top on. That, my friends, is true love right there. I give Superman/Wonder Woman #19 an 8 out of 10. It'll put a smile on your face, but it won't make your hearts explode. Those looking for something more intense should just stick to crack. Nuff said!

Trolling the Man of Steel: Superman #41

The following is my review of Superman #41, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

In the movie "Coming To America," Eddie Murphy plays a disillusioned prince in Akeem Joffer who kept a pretty big huge secret from the woman he loved. Granted, being the prince of a rich African nation is not the kind of secret that would upset most women, especially in the post-Jerry Springer era. However, Akeem kept this secret from his love for all the right reasons. He wanted her to fall in love with him for who he was and not just because he was a prince. As such, Superman maintained a secret identity in Clark Kent for a similar reason. He couldn't be the Superman he wanted to be without an anchor to the people he wanted to protect. So what happens when he loses that anchor and a good chunk of the ship it was attached to?

That's the premise of whole "Truth" arc that starts to unfold in Superman #41. It's an arc that has already unfolded on other books, such as Action Comics, Batman/Superman, and Superman/Wonder Woman. These books establish that Superman's identity has been revealed to the public, Lois Lane is primarily responsible for doing so, and he's lost a sizable portion of his powers. Even by Superman standards, this is the ultimate trifecta of a bad day. Even a collective attack by Darkseid, Brainiac, and Lex Luthor couldn't challenge him like this. Unlike his enemies, Superman can't punch this problem into submission or inspire it do good. He has to deal with it and he must do so in a weakened state.

It continues DC's ongoing theme of stripping Superman down to his core values, removing the powers that make him almost god-like and putting him in situation where bench pressing a small planet won't do him any good. Time and again, these situations offer compelling reminders that Superman is not just defined by his powers. He's defined by doing the right thing, even when he has the power to do otherwise. The narrative here is very different. It's not just about doing the right thing anymore. For once, Superman will have to pay a price for doing what he does. What does that do to him as a character? The answers in Superman #41 are incomplete, but it does lay the foundation for this dramatic upheaval in Superman's life.

The main conflict is fairly basic, but nicely refined in that it builds on a story that was established in previous issues. Somebody is selling some very powerful, very illegal weapons that even Ted Nugant wouldn't want to own. It's up to Superman and Jimmy Olsen to stop them and uncover the truth about where these weapons are coming from. It has many of the same themes as a typical Nicholas Cage movie, but there's one major complication that prevents this from being just another Tuesday for Superman.

There's this unknown mystery figure who happens to have footage of Clark Kent turning into Superman. We don't get a clue who he, she, it, or they might be. There's no ominous, Morpheus-like voice. There's no CSI style shadowy figure. There's just a series of text messages that attempt to blackmail Superman. It might as well be an overly ambitious internet troll. This just isn't the kind of troll that can be blocked or muted.

It feels kind of cheap on some levels, having somebody use text messages to blackmail Superman of all people. At the same time, there's something oddly fitting about it. In some respects, it's the state of the modern world catching up with Superman. This isn't the era of phone booths and goofy disguises anymore. This is an era where lives can be ruined with a single tweet. Just ask Anthony "Carlos Danger" Wiener. Superman has always been able to navigate the times and keep functioning as he has since the days of FDR. This time, even he's not powerful enough to overcome the power of internet trolls.

This isn't immediately clear to him from the beginning. Superman doesn't really take this threat very seriously at first. This is one of the biggest weaknesses of the story. The tone is almost casual in how Superman deals with this threat to his identity. He gives the impression that he can deal with it, but the very first page, which briefly flash-forwards to the future, reveals that he fails. It's somewhat of a disconnect in the path to this final outcome is unclear.

The helps feed the second major weakness of Superman #41, which is that it feels incomplete. The end result is already spoiled, both on the first page and in other associated Superman comics. In fact, this issue is way behind the curve in terms of tone and theme. It's like watching Terminator 3 before watching the first two movies. It only sets up for Superman's identity to be revealed and not in a satisfying way either. We know it's coming, but it just ends too abruptly.

It's disappointing in terms of what is promised by the reveal on the first page. There's no dramatic moment where Lois Lane gasps or Twitter explodes with the revelation that Clark Kent is Superman. This may still happen in the next issue. But at this point in Superman's narrative, it just limits the kind of dramatic impact. It obscures the perspective and undermines the substance of the story.

Without that first page reveal, there's less to obscure. But on its own merits, Superman #41 feels like only three-fourths an episode of the Wire. It has the right pieces in place. The characterization of Superman, Lois Lane, and Jimmy Olsen is spot on. Superman knows his identity is in danger of exposure, but that doesn't stop him from doing the right thing. And the plot surrounding these mysterious weapons is one that has merit as well. It just fails to connect these pieces in a way that feels like a polished product.

Future issues may help fill in the gaps and make those connections. But on its own, Superman #41 feels less like a blockbuster movie and more like a teaser trailer. And in this age of cat videos and internet celebrities, that's simply no longer sufficient.

Final Score: 6 out of 10

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 15: Heart Shaped Box is LIVE!

There comes a point in every relationship where just leaving the toilet seat down isn’t enough. Despite what every love song since 1955 might claim, it takes more than just love for a relationship to succeed. Most stories about relationships center around the will they/won’t they dynamic that Friends exploited to no end. Others revolve around love triangles or hook-ups that make every romantic comedy more predictable than GIECO commercial. With Superman and Wonder Woman, there seems to be a concerted effort to not stick to every formula that Disney has ever tried.

Getting together was the easy part for these two in the comics. In “Strangers In Paradise,” I made them work for it a little more. They had to fight just to have a chance to get together, but I never intended that to be the full story. To really make this relationship stronger, I set out to challenge them in a major way. But I didn’t want that challenge to come from another love interest. The last thing Superman/Wonder Woman needs is a fucking love triangle. Unless it’s in a porn parody of Man of Steel, it just has no appeal. For this story, the challenge goes beyond their relationship, but it’s not something they could’ve avoided.

Right now, “Strangers In Paradise” is entering a very volatile conflict. While Superman and Wonder Woman have been working on establishing their relationship and sharing their lives, their enemies have been plotting. The gods of Olympus are causing trouble again. Lex Luthor is causing trouble too, as only he can. Even the Amazons are getting in on the act. What makes this conflict so difficult is that Superman and Wonder Woman made all the right decisions for all the right reasons. Wonder Woman was right to leave her home when she did. Superman was right in not fighting the Amazons all those years ago. But despite their efforts to do the right thing, their enemies are still trying to tear them apart.

Now, as this conflict finally finds them, their relationship will face its biggest challenge to date. It’s not enough to just get through this together. They have to be stronger as individuals as well. That’s what makes a relationship solid, the ability to make each other stronger. Superman and Wonder Woman could probably fight this battle without being romantically entangled, but they would never be able to fight it with the kind of strength they give each other as lovers. The struggle is going to escalate and so are the emotions. It’s bound to get volatile, but in all the right ways.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 15: Heart Shaped Box

This story has been an interesting exercise in exploring a relationship between two iconic characters. It’s been challenging, but insightful. I believe we’re entering an era where people just aren’t satisfied with the same formula for love stories. We’ve seen enough crap with the Ross and Rachels of the world. Let’s try something different and that’s exactly what I think the Superman/Wonder Woman relationship offers. And I hope to capture it in the pages of “Strangers In Paradise.”

Since it’s still my first ever Superman/Wonder Woman story, please take the time to submit feedback. I appreciate any reviews anyone can offer, constructive or otherwise. It’s the only way people like me will be able to tell stories that are more interesting than a Hugh Grant movie. Nuff said!