X-Factor Forever #5 - A Celestial Monument to Awesome

Today is a sad and euphoric day for X-fans like myself. For the past few months we have been graced by return of one of X-men's most celebrated scribes, Louise Simonson. For a mere five issues, Mrs. Simonson has demonstrated once again that she knows how to handle the Original Five in a way that Stan Lee and Jack Kirby (may he rest in peace) can be proud of. She did it in the late 80s during he memorable X-Factor run that helped forge the path for X-men for decades to come. She did it once again with her modern incarnation, X-Factor Forever.

Now as I've said before, I approached these Forever series with a healthy bit of skepticism because Chris Claremont's take on his Forever series was so fucked up you could pass it around like a joint and end up hung over as if you chugged a gallon of two parts tequila and one part battery acid. But Simonson took that concept and did something amazing with it. She didn't just show it could work. She showed it could be awesome. X-Factor Forever has only been five issues long, but she's made each issue count so that they can do in five issues what Chris Claremont couldn't do in 24 (26 if you count the Giant Size and Annual). With the final issue coming out today, X-Factor Forever #5, Louise Simonson makes her case and the prosecution rests. I won't be coy this time. This comic fucking rocks! It is the best mini to come along in decades and it almost makes me wish this book came in pill form so I could save money on my Prozac perscription.

The final issue does not waste an ounce of ink. The very first pages jump right into the action that began at the end of the previous issue. X-Factor was on a mission to attack Sinister, who had unleashed an army of clones bent on either killing everything in their path or making everybody that saw them barf through their nose. Add to that he can command them and you don't just have an uphill battle. You have the fucking Great Wall of China if the wall were made out of adamantium.

Aside from being creepy as fuck about it, his leads his clone army in an all out assault against X-Factor. He's not subtle about it. He's not nice about it. It's hard to tell if he's just fucking with them to prove that he can. A dog licks his own ball for the same reason. X-Factor are forced to take on their own clones as well as clones of their friends and loved ones, some of which actually look pretty awesome so you feel somewhat bad when Cyclops blows them to hell. But sympathy aside, the battle is still working against them and they need a miracle. But since lady luck is riding the red tide at the moment, they get Apocalypse instead. Yeah, Lady Luck is that much a bitch in this issue.

Now not only does Apocalypse show up, he has Nathan. Cyclops and Jean are understandably pissed. They instinctively go after him because heavens knows Nathan doesn't need to grow up with nightmares of Poccy's ugly mug. If this were any other comic, you would think X-Factor is fucked. But if you've been following this book, you know that this isn't your daddy's batshit crazy if not somewhat bland super-villain. He's a bit more complex for once and he has an agenda of his own. Only this time, that agenda requires him to actually save X-Factor and oppose Sinister. Seriously, where else besides X-Factor Forever would you get something like that?

So Apocalypse for once decides not to be a douche-bag and tips the balance in X-Factor's favor. He's even nice enough to give Cyclops his son back. I know using nice and Apocalypse in the same sentence is tantamount to a Jewish Nazi, but Simonson makes it work. Now that X-Factor has Nathan in hand, Apocalypse instructs them to give Nathan to the Celestials that have decended on New York. Somehow that's supposed to make this shit all better. X-Factor is understandably skeptical, but Apocalypse continues his non-douche-bag run by teleporting X-Factor out of Sinister's lab and then blowing it to kingdom come.

At this point some fans may be rubbing their eyes and checking their blood pressure. Did Apocalypse just do something noble? Did he just play hero for once? It may seem that way, but come on! The comic isn't even half over yet. If you're making those kinds of assumptions now then you're just being a dipshit. Luckily, the scene is awesome enough for anyone to enjoy no matter how many flawed brain cells they may have. For a guy like me, that's like Christmas at the Playboy Mansion.

So X-Factor is free and now they can turn their attention to the Celestials, who in issue two descended onto New York with the intent on judging the world in their own special way and by judging I mean flat out destroying. Since these are fucking space gods they're dealing with, X-Factor knows they can't fight them. All they have to go on is what Apocalypse told them. He said that if they gave them baby Nathan, then this shit would somehow all work out. That may be like getting sobriety advice from Amy Whinehouse, but they give it a try. Needless to say, it doesn't seem to pan out.

Now this could have been a grossly macabre moment. A space god takes a baby and crushes it in his palm? Seriously, unless you're pro-infanticide then it should make you cringe on some levels. But before the comics code authority completely loses their shit, the Celestials reveal that all is well. They give Cyclops and X-Factor a cosmic thumbs up. Whatever judging they did, Nathan passed the test and they returned him to the team without a scratch on him. But judging by the look on his face he's going to need a fresh diaper.

So is that it? Is that the end? Well remember how this little advice came from Apocalypse? Thing is, he left out one minor detail that reminds the reader that he's still a devious douche-bag. Once Nathan is judged and deemed fit, the two judges teleport to Genosha and start attacking. And when the Celestials attack, it's not just one-sided. It's like the Harlem Globe Trotters vs. the Washington Generals. It's a slaughter.They judged Genosha and Genosha has to go. That's where X-Factor has to come in once again and save the day.

It looks like all the mutants on Genosha are fucked. But once again, Apocalypse shows that he can still do good by being the cunning son-of-a-bitch he is at heart. As has been revealed through the Apocalypse journal's at the end of each issue, he's been messing with the Celestials for ages. He knows he's on their shit list and he knows that intervening with mutant evolution will earn their wrath. Since he doesn't want all his hard work to go up in cosmic dust, he does the next best thing. He tricks them. See? Still a douche-bag. While there's no way to save the island, he did drop a brief hint to the mutants so they would know enough to get the fuck out of the way when the Celestials showed up.

A quick round of teleportation and X-Factor does the rest. Genosha is in ruin, but the mutants are saved. Ship becomes a much more awesome version of Noah's Ark and once the island is gone, the Celestials finally leave. They've done enough judging it seems and they don't need to become giant space dicks looking to fuck any planet they come across. So Apocalypse came through in his own unique way and X-Factor came through. It's a perfect heroic triumph with a few interesting twists with an A-list bad guy. For a five issue mini, you can't ask for much more other than having it tattooed on the breasts of Pamela Anderson.

So the day is saved. X-Factor has once again triumphed in a big way. Simonson could have ended it right here and I still would have had every reason to give the book a perfect score. But she swings for the stratosphere with this one and throws in one last nice shot of our heroes. She's even nice enough to have a little family moment with Scott, Jean, and Nathan. If you're an Original Five fan or a Cyclops/Jean Grey fan, this ending will bring tears to your eyes that you probably haven't shed since Bill Clinton was president. That alone should make this issue worth it's weight in gold-encrusted diamonds woven into the thong of Carmen Electra. Considering how 616 insists on fucking up these classic characters by doing little things like killing Jean Grey and also considering how offshoots like Ultimate and Forever can't resist fucking up their characterization beyond all recognition, this is more than refreshing. It's like a hit from the bong of the gods.

Yet Simonson still isn't done. She goes onto add one more entry to the Apocalypse journals that have been bonus stories for each issue. This one isn't so much a bonus as it is an epilogue. It essentially retells what happened with the X-men to this point in the continuity and clears up why Apocalypse did what he did. It's heroic in some ways and a bit of dick move in others. He wasn't being all that altruistic. He was basically trying to save his own skin and all his hard work. It didn't bother him that his buffoonery was earning the wrath of the space gods and that everybody on the planet could pay the price. But at least he managed to put that cunning to good use and weasel his way out of ultimate judgment.

He's not going to get a monument to commemorate his sacrifice, but he at least deserves some street cred. This little extra helps make him a far more complex and interesting character than he is in any other incarnation. From here on out, it's probably going to be a lot harder to read Apocalypse and other books and not reflect on how much more awesome Simonson's version is and how awesome he could have been had she been allowed to stay on.

So now it's over. X-Factor Forever has come to an end and oh what an ending it is. There's no downer here. There's no sudden urge to self-mutilate or go on stronger meds. It's a nice, clean, complete ending in an era where every fucking book has to have some dark ominous sub-plot meant to draw the reader in for future issues. It's like finding a unicorn that shits chocolate. It's too awesome for words.

Now does that mean this series and this issue are without flaws? Even I'm not that generous. There are some shortcomings. This issue was a little melodramatic at times with Cyclops having the same crazy "NOOOOO!" reaction on more than one occasion. There also weren't as many memorable lines as there were in previous issues. But what it lacked in dialogue it more than made up for with story. There are far greater flaws with other comics of this nature and they don't come close to bringing down the overall awesome. Plus, Simonson is nice enough to once again include a letters page. You can't get much nicer than that.

For the final issue of X-Factor Forever, I give it a perfect 5 out of 5. It simply has too many awesome elements to give it anything less. While I loved this issue and this series to death, I'm also somewhat saddened because once again I'm left without an outlet series of X-men I can indulge in when I'm disappointed by the others. Now only 616, Ultimate, and Forever are left. 616 will always be the main universe, but Ultimate and Forever have sucked horribly and are almost beyond saving. So without X-Factor Forever, what more is there? I suppose that makes it all the more precious. Hopefully one day Simonson will be given another shot at the X-men and she'll further prove her legacy to the X-men saga. Until that day comes, X-Factor Forever will continue to shine with a special kind of awesome. Excelsior!

X-men Forever Season 2 Issue #2 - Bland With a Touch of Awesome

In recent months the Forever titles have become the anomaly in my comic collection. When Chris Claremont (you know, the guy who probably did more for X-men than any other writer in history) said he was launching his own title called X-men Forever, I was as giddy as a school girl who just took a hit of crystal meth. Then I actually read the first few issues and that meth turned into poor quality heroine that was so watered down it was like shooting up a trip to the DMV into my veins. The title actually did what I thought was impossible and tainted Chris Claremont's legacy. Between piss poor characterization, outlandish character depths, turning Jean Grey into a lying whore, making Kitty a lamer X-23, retconning events and not explaining them, and doing some of the shittiest romance sub-plots in history (Scott/Jean/Logan/Beast still ranks as one of the most disgusting developments in X-comic history) it actually came to vindicate Claremont being kicked off the book back in 1991. I take no joy in saying that either, but being a die-hard Claremont fan that I am I can't help but take a peak and every so often he does make Forever readable. Hell, the man had Storm kill Black Panther instead of marrying him. That has to count for something, right?

Now after the first 25 issues (plus an annual), Claremont has begun what he calls season 2 with a bang both literally and figuratively. This time that's not just a cute euphemism. Seriously, in the first issue of the new series he had the Avengers attack the X-men and the result of the fight was the entire fucking X-mansion blowing up! Again, it doesn't make up for all the shortcomings of this series, but damn it if it isn't awesome. That prompted me to take a look at issue #2 in hopes of some equally awesome follow-up. The results, unfortunately, were a mixed bag.

By and large, this issue doesn't do much to move the plot forward. It's one big reaction issue. The whole Forever universe is basically reacting to the X-mansion blowing up. Hell, have the issue is taken from the perspective of a news report and last I checked it's pretty damn hard to make the news awesome (unless of course your last name is Stewart or Colbert).


The report is pretty predictable to anyone who has had to sit through the news (poor souls). They say what happens, act all serious and emotional about it, and try to twist it in their own away. During this bombardment of media mayhem that can only come from sources like Fox News, SHIELD and the authorities are scouring the remains for signs of the X-men. They find absolutely dick. And by dick I mean no bodies. That more or less affirms what happened. The X-men are still alive thanks to the universal law of comics section 1, subsection 45, line 15 and I quote, "no body means no death."


Not only do they find no trace of the X-men. They find no trace of Nick Fury either. That adds a new wrinkle to the garment. If he's gone, who runs SHIELD in the Forever universe? Well following the logic that if there's a crisis then Congress will find a way to fuck it up even more, they appoint Ziggy Trask to the job. Who is Ziggy Trask you ask? She's the bitch related to Bolivar Trask, the asshole who made the sentinels. She's also the bitch who ran rough-shot at the Consortium, the assholes who spent much of Season 1 trying to kill the X-men. I would add a few more political undertones as to how fucked up this is, but the sad truth remains that this is a pretty accurate representation of Congress. Nobody can say that Chris Claremont doesn't inject some sense of realism in his books, even if it's the kind of realism that only registered republicans appreciate.


While Congress is fucking things up with the giant dick of government, the Avengers are still scratching their heads. Yet they do show some remorse, which is pretty appropriate given that this is before the whole Civil War mess. It's a nice moment to show that this really is an alternate take because the Avengers still come off as heroes, taking responsibility in a way that politicians never will. Unlike the news, they seem equally convinced that the X-men are still alive and well.


While they're reeling, others are overreacting with a shit storm of douche-baggery. Enter Perfect Storm, the bitch who usurped power in Wakanda and killed Black Panther (okay, bitch probably isn't the right word because anybody who was pissed by her being married probably got a boner seeing this). Needless to say, she's pretty pissed. But it isn't because the X-men are supposedly dead. It's because she didn't kill them. What's fucked up is that those around her thinks it's out of grief when she flat out says it's because this denies her the vengeance she craves. It's not a thought bubble. It's not an inner musing either. She fucking says it and these people don't hear? It's a small detail, but it's among many Claremont has made in this series.


The affair eventually reverberates to other parts of the X-men, which in the Forever universe include X-Force. At the time it was being run by Warren and his deep pockets. With those same deep pockets, he promises to protect the rest of the team knowing they may be on the front lines now that the regulars are MIA. Now one would expect them to be as skeptical as the Avengers about them being dead, but Warren does talk as though the X-men are really gone. You would think he would show a bit more emotion. Same with the rest of the team. But no, the scene is painfully bland. It's like Claremont just copied and pasted it in there and it's essentially filler, a waste of precious ink.


Next up the media blitz continues, but thankfully it's finally cut off despite taking up half the book at this point. It ends at the Daily Bugle with Peter Parker and J. Jonah Jameson. This is by far the biggest draw of the comic and the main reason why I thought it was worth picking up and reviewing. Chris Claremont is bringing in a pre-One More Day Spider-Man. For anyone still pissed from that bullshit retcon that has tainted every Spider-Man comic since, this makes this issue worth it's weight in pure Wakandan Vibrainium.


Since the news isn't going to get the full story, Jameson sends Peter to the scene to get what he hopes will be a scoop he can rub in the faces of every other media outlet. Peter, having crossed paths with the X-men plenty of times within the pre-1991 continuity, jumps at the chance because like the Avengers he is not convinced the X-men are gone. So he ventures to the ruins of the mansion and investigates. Here Claremont goes a wee bit overboard with the thought bubbles as he so often does, but that's sort of a mainstay of X-men Forever. It's still annoying as fuck sometimes, but it's still a pre-OMD Spider-Man. That's worth overlooking, isn't it?


While Peter is looking for some answers, more filler finds it's way into the plot. There's a brief shot at a Senator's office where it appears Mystique is entering the picture again, albeit with not even an ominous hint at what that means for this plot. It also comes in the form of an orphanage in Nebraska, the same where Scott Summers grew up. Here a little boy is talking with Dr. Hanover about Cyclops and his son. The hint here is pretty obvious too. Old man Sinister is about to enter the picture. It looks like they're going to attempt to kidnap Scott's son...again. Seriously, was this even necessary in a book like this? It not only seems out of place, but a total rehashing of a plot that has already been used before 1991.


Back to the non-Mephisto Spider-Man and the most awesome part of this book. Spidy found nothing at the site of the Xavier Institute and continues with his endless thought bubble droning as he swings through New York on his nightly patrol. Then he gets his first action of the night, which also happens to be the first and only bit of action in this book. Some thugs are getting their butts kicked in an alley and for once Spider-Man isn't doing it. He swings in to investigate. To his surprise he finds exactly what he didn't find in the ruins of the mansion. He finds a very alive X-man, but probably not the one he was expecting. Keep in mind, Spidy probably hasn't been keeping up with what's been going on in X-men Forever so imagine his surprise when he sees Nightcrawler Rogue in a sexy new uniform. If I were in Spider-Man's shoes I would be confused yet strangely aroused because blue skin, a tail, and cleavage is still pretty damn hot.


Before anything else comes of this, the comic ends. No more action. No more revelations either. The book just ends. It's not quite a cliffhanger and it's not quite a resolution either. It's just an end to an issue that was bland most of the way through, but still had some elements of awesome that made it worth picking up. Much of those elements were provided by Spider-Man who wasn't carrying the One More Day curse. Everything else was painfully bland and came off as complete filler for an issue that you could probably skip and not miss much. For a series that's supposed to be it's own line, that's a terrible waste of ink.

I get the basic concept of what Chris Claremont was trying to do. The X-mansion blowing up would have huge repercussions throughout the greater Marvel universe. It's great that he wanted to show everybody's reaction, but it still came off as filler and lacked the kind of impact that makes such a premise work. Every facial expression was essentially the same and nobody really said or thought anything that stood out. There was only a tiny bit of action to boot and it wasn't nearly enough to make up for the many other shortcomings of this issue.

Never-the-less, it's still worth picking up just for the Spider-Man elements. If the next issue has more action and less news, that will be worth picking up as well. But the fact remains that X-men Forever has a shit tone of plot holes and a pile of diarrhea worth of characterization flaws. For what it's worth, this issue doesn't do any more damage to the Forever series that others have and does have some note-worthy aspects worth making note of. Because of this, I can't in good conscious give this comic an Ultimate X caliber score. I give it a 2.5 out of 5 for at least trying to tie Forever into the greater Marvel Universe and for giving readers a non-One More Day Spider-Man. This series has a long way to go to make up for many other shortcomings, but it's Chris Claremont so it's not impossible. At the very least we still have the nearly flawless awesome of Louise Simonson's X-Factor Forever so all is not lost in the Forever concept. Flaws aside, the hearts of the writers are still in the right place and who can blame them for that?

X-Factor Forever #4 Review - Awesome in Any Era

Usually, I'm not one for nostalgia. When people reflect about how great things were in the past I tend to roll my eye and fight the urge to point out the past always seems better because the damn present involves so much more work. So when these X-men Forever titles have come out, I've been just as cynical. Not that I don't have a fondness for the past, but when I read Chris Claremont's X-men Forever I actually felt for the first time the editors were important because if this was the direction he was going to take then the comics I've known and loved would have been fucked like a five dollar whore long ago. Then Louise Simonson came along with X-Factor Forever, taking the concept Chris Claremont established and running with it to the very peak of Mount Awesome.

X-Factor Forever has been a blast from the very first issue and X-Factor Forever #4 doesn't just continue that tradition. It raises and overshoots the bar into the exosphere, telling an awesome story while doing justice to these awesome characters. Simonson proves once and for all that she knows these characters and every other writer of this and other eras can suck it. There's no lull in the awesome from the very beginning. At the end of the last issue Apocalypse showed up and stole Scott's son, Nathan Christopher Summers, while they were battling a Celestial. As if that wasn't bad enough, another Celestial showed up and looks to have a hard on for exacting a heavy judgment on Earth. Think every crazy death cult only with god like powers and you'll get a feel for how bad that is.


Apocalypse, being the sneaky bastard he is, teleported away before X-Factor could even try and wrestle Nathan from him. But this isn't your normal made-for-TV movie style kidnapping. Apocalypse does state there is a purpose behind this. In fact, he seems to imply this child is the key to saving the mutant race. It's a different take on a guy who usually has a ten foot hard-on for destruction, but in a good way.


To add yet another twist to the plot he doesn't even take his right-hand man, Caliban, along for the ride. He just leaves him with X-Factor, who are understandably pissed. Now normally when this happen it's the bad guy just trying to save his own skin. It's a classic way to make the big villain look like an even bigger douche bag than he already is. Leaving his loyal henchmen behind? You really can't get much more douchy than that. At first it seems this way because X-Factor are about as hospitable to Caliban as North Korea is to the rest of the world.


But there's a reason for it and surprisingly, the reason is pretty darn interesting. Caliban may be a minion, but he's not the mindless type. He does have some sense of what's going on and he demonstrates this by asking some profound questions. Why is it that so few mutants have healthy children? Why is it that most of the mutants that are born are either barren, require some extra help, or are utterly fucked up? He mentions mutants like Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch, who had a powerful witch for a mother. He also mentions David Heller, Xavier's son, who's as nutty as a fruitcake and twice as ugly. The one that sticks out most is Madelyn Pryor, Jean Grey's clone who bore a healthy Nathan Summers. This is the one X-Factor is most familiar with and the one that leads them to some answers.

Now at this point readers who followed Chris Claremont's X-men Forever series will get a sense of "Wait...haven't we seen this shit before?" It's true. Chris Claremont originally came up with a very novel and powerful concept in his series. Mutants as a species have a serious flaw. They burn out in a sense and rarely live past their twenties. It's radical idea that really sets the story apart, but Louise Simonson takes it several steps further. In her world mutants don't necessarily burn out. They just have a hard time making viable offspring. And a number of those that do occur require the aid of cosmic forces or an off-his-rocker mad scientist type. It's that last notion that leads X-Factor to go after the only guy they have more reason to disembowel than Apocalypse, and that's Mr. Sinister.


The real kicker is that when they arrive at his base they find out he's been a busy little mad scientist. In the X-Factor series prior to this one, Sinister made his mark on the X-books by creating Madelyn Pryor from Jean Grey's DNA. Following the philosophy of "if it's worth doing it's worth overdoing" he didn't stop there. He made a whole army of clones. He made clones of every shape, size, and age. Now all of X-Factor get the same mindfuck Jean Grey had when she found out about Madelyn. If the looks on their faces are any indication, their eyes are ready to shoot out of their sockets.


This fucked up setting provides the perfect setting for pasty faced Sinister to make his big entrance and fuck them up even more for good measure. He adds to the fucking that he's been acquiring genetic material for these clones for some time now. Apparently, he doesn't have too many hobbies and nobody showed him the joys of internet porn. He used this material to not just make clones, but make entirely viable mutants with their own personalities and identities intact. The man didn't go for the traditional zombie army. He went for full fledged duplicates and even threw in some variations.


To make him seem just a bit less like a mad scientist and a hell of a lot more like a control freak, he goes onto explain that he's not doing this just for kicks. He believes he has the key to immortality. He can forge any mutant with any variation he wants. He shows a clone of Angel without his Apocalypse treatment. He shows Storm in her classic mohawk version. He even shows a blond haired Wolverine with bone claws. It sounds pretty lame, but Sinny makes it work. To him this is his answer to the poor mutant birth rate. His clones aren't just for show. They are meant to propagate the mutant species. It's sort of like fixing a problem by taking a shit ton of LSD and mushrooms and giving a lot of advanced alien technology to a guy with a messiah complex who took the same drugs. It makes for a pretty mind-blowing revelation.

But Sinister is just part of the equation. Apocalypse is still heading up this crazy plan and for now Sinister is just the distraction. Granted, this distraction is tantamount to throwing weapons grade plutonium at a charging terrorist group, but he makes it work. Using Sinister's own madness against him, Apocalypse sneaks in to learn about the secrets to Nathan's biology. For whatever reason, this kid that still shits his own pants is the key. Not too comforting when there are space gods looking to destroy damn near everything just because someone took one too many extracurricular in the field of mutant menacing biology.


As distractions come, though, this one should be patented and sold to Johnson and Johnson. Sinister goes one further than boasting about his clone army. He unleashes it on X-Factor. It's a strange way for other famous X-men faces to show up, but it makes for an awesome fight scene that puts X-Factor up against some unexpected and very rough competition. For an issue that's heavy on mind-blowing revelations, it's a nice turn.


The fight goes downhill fast. X-Factor is outnumbered and outgunned by powers they're all too familiar with and Sinister can't stop boasting like he has the biggest dick in the room. It earns him a healthy blast from Cyclops, which doesn't stop him but has to be pretty damn satisfying. But there is still a shit ton of obstacles ahead of them at the X-leader pretty much burns himself out trying to fight it. Here, Simonson adds yet another layer of icing on top of a cake that has plenty of awesome to spare. Jean Grey comes to him and shares a loving moment that is plenty worthy of the longest tenured X-men couple in the history of X-men. It's a moment many romantics will squeal with joy over because it brings together a lot of the romantic issues that go back even before X-Factor Forever takes place. Jean seemed to be struggling from the beginning with memories of Madelyn and the Phoenix still fresh in her mind. But here she's not struggling anymore. She shoves all that aside as any tough-nosed woman who survived life and death would and shows Scott she loves him. And with him, they're going to bitch slap Sinister and Apocalypse to death and get to their son. It's a sweet moment that fans of Cyclops and Jean Grey have been denied for far too long.


Now this would have been an awesome place to end the comic, but Simonson just can't seem to resist throwing more awesome into the mix. As with every issue thus far, the next part of the Apocalypse background story shows up and this time it's Sinister who takes center stage. In this it is shown how Sinister was to Apocalypse what Anakin Skywalker was to Obi Wan Kanobi had Obi Wan gotten his Force training from Darth Maul. He showed Sinister everything there was to know about mutant DNA, but Sinister wasn't content with the little stuff. He wanted to manipulate mutants on a larger scale, one Apocalypse didn't want him to. Like a three-year-old kicking and screaming at the supermarket, Sinister did it anyways and a lot of it ended up affecting the past, present, and future of mutants in a big way. It not only shows Sinister in a new more badass form. It shows that Apocalypse isn't the only one who can shine unexpectedly in X-Factor Forever.


So between this and the rest of the supremely awesome story, this is a great place to end it right? Well Simonson still isn't satisfied. She has to throw one last bit of awesome that for once vindicates nostalgia. She includes yet another letters-to-the-editor page and wouldn't you know it? My letter got published again! It's like a trifecta of pure X-men awesome.


Between the mind-blowing story, the kick-ass bonuses, and spot on characterization that ties past and present continuity together there really isn't a whole lot to criticize about this issue. Very few comics outside Blackest Night caliber ever attain this status and Louise Simonson does it masterfully. Even though there is a long list of X-men comics sucking up the competition, this one stands out as by far the most awesome. For that reason X-Factor Forever #4 gets a perfect 5 out of 5 and all the accolades a self-respecting X-men fan can dish out.

The only tragedy here is that this is just a mini. This comic has some of the best characterizations of any X-men comic and a damn nice plot to boot yet it only has one issue left. I suppose this is a case of amazing quality over quantity and for what it is, X-Factor Forever works wonderfully. Still, it leaves many readers wishing that Simonson would stay on and turn this into an ongoing or that another mini of this nature would continue. Something like this is needed to balance out the bullshit the other X-men comics have been throwing out, even if they have gotten better in recent years. It's a great series and that makes the last issue all the more precious. X-Factor Forever kicks every kind of ass in comics and it's definitely a series for the ages. Nuff said!

X-Factor Forever #3 Review - Apocalyptic Awesome

As excited as I am about the next chapter to Second Coming, I've been much more giddy by the new issue of X-Factor Forever. It has me more stoked than a sadist in a Medieval torture museum. Louise Simonson has rekindled my love for old-school X-Factor except when I read this book it doesn't feel too old school. It feels as fresh as a baby's scrotum. X-Factor Forever #3 continues that freshness, picking up right where the last issue left off and being pretty damn awesome in the process.

It literally continues from the final page of the previous issue. A Celestial has landed right in the middle of New York City and even for New Yorkers, a giant space god is cause for concern. His presence causes a hell of a lot of destruction and confusion. X-Factor knows it's coming from the Celestial ship and are prompted to return to it. They hesitate to go because this Celesital being is so huge that the mere act of scratching itself is enough to cause widespread damage. Lucky for them and for the readers, some of the other major Marvel heroes make an appearance and offer to help out.


You get to see Spider-Man, Thor, Captain America, Hulk, Luke Cage, and the Fantastic Four. It's an embarrassment of riches that Simonson is all too willing to share. While the Marvel heroes are keeping the city from crumbling, X-Factor heads into the ship to find out what's been going on. It makes for a fun Scooby-Doo moment as they make their way down the dark bowls of the Celestial ship. The art here really shines and you can't help but admire the ambiance at times. It's enough to make the Queer Eye for the Straight Guys squeal with joy.


The mystery unfolds pretty quickly. They had no idea that Apocalypse snuck in and used the ship to uncover the secrets to the Celestials. This was all covered in the previous issue. Apocalypse has been caught up in the Celestial's agenda for a while now and he's not too happy about it. In some ways it's a little strange because usually Apocalypse is the one with the agenda. He can dish it out, but he can't seem to take it so he's out to find an edge. It seems like he has one and when X-Factor catches up with him, he's all too willing to share because it just so happens they're a part of it too in more ways than one.


This is where the action really picks up. Warren doesn't care for an explanation and goes right in for the kill. This is where Caliban shows his worth and fights back, putting on a pretty impressive display to hold X-Factor off while Apocalypse makes his case. This is where he shows some unusual depth. Apocalypse has historically been this overly evil bad guy who just wants to destroy. That's not so here. He has a logical agenda here. He sees X-Factor as being caught up in something they don't understand. They see his ways of promoting war and strength as barbaric, but there is a reason for it. He sees this as a means to fight back against the Celestials, who he resents for making him their pawn. He actually comes off as giving a damn for humanity. For some that's like seeing the softer side of Joseph Stalin, but Simonson makes it work here. This leads to one of the most memorable lines in the series.


Apocalypse boldly states that "What passes for truth is less about what is said, than about what people choose to believe." This is a provocative statement because what Apocalypse says is easy to make out. He talks about destruction, evolution, and survival of the fittest. Anybody with a general understanding of cops and robbers can make sense of that. But when it comes to belief, it's a bit more complicated. It's not just what he says, it's why he says it.

This leads to some interesting revelations. Apocalypse talks about how the Celestials interfered with human development for the longest time using him as their pawn. Even when they left, he continued to push humanity into the direction he thought it would go. Technology that emerged from war was just part of the equation. It was the act of human mutation that seemed to hold the most promise. On this, he says that mutants are like a barren tree. He cites how few mutants have children, even though Scott's son Nathan is right there with them. All this still seems lost on X-Factor. They keep on fighting him and Caliban, throwing in a few classic moves like a fastball special while they're at it.


This is mind-blowingly cool on it's own. Then Apocalypse makes his move that leads to the most dramatic moment in the issue. He reveals that Nathan may be something more than a mere child for Scott Summers. If Madelyn is a construct of Sinister, could Nathan not be the same? It's a potentially powerful revelation. But before the truth is revealed, Simonson goes into cliff-hanger mode. Apocalypse steals baby Nathan and flies out to meet the Celestial that arrived earlier. This Celestial is here to judge humanity and somehow Nathan holds the key to that judgment. Apocalypse is willing to sacrifice this child and all Scott can do is watch in horror. It leads to a powerful image at the end that seems to be taken from Scott's point of view as he reaches out desperately for his son.


This alone would be an awesome way to end a comic, but Simonson isn't content to just give us one kick ass moment like this. She throws in yet another installment of the mini-story that tells of Apocalypse's history. Just as she did with the last issue, she reveals more about how Apocalypse played a part in human civilization over the centuries. He is shown taking part in war, using it to spur development in humanity in the form of technology and culture. Even after the Celestials leave, he continues to push the human race to new limits. That's when mutation enters the picture and he picks out someone to help him.

Who could possibly fill this role? Well Simonson doesn't stray too far from the source material here. She brings Sinister into the picture, giving him a different background in this and revealing he was a low life in 19th century England who had little humanity. This was perfect for Apocalypse so he sought him out, making him a deal that would eventually lead him to becoming the Sinister figure X-men fans know and love.


Between this story and the Apocalypse story, there's enough to go around to leave any fanboy satisfied and gasping for air. It's like an orgy of awesome and all the supermodels on South Beach are invited. But Simonson STILL isn't done. She goes onto make an old-fashioned letters to the editor page, which hasn't been seen in comics for nearly half a decade. She replies generously to the letters and wouldn't you know it? One of the letters I wrote got posted.


Need I say more? Simonson has hit the trifecta of awesome here. A great story is coupled with a great series of bonuses that make this comic one of the most enjoyable pieces of work to come out of Marvel in a long time. That's not to say it's without it's faults. Throughout this comic, there's a lot of action and Apocalypse has himself some powerful moments, but at times X-Factor themselves seem to be negated. A lot of the major relationship issues like with Scott and Jean or Bobby and Opal weren't really touched on in this. Nobody shares any personal words or inner thoughts. It's all business and in that sense it feels a little bland for the characters. However, that's not nearly enough to bring this comic down. That would be like saying the Mona Lisa has a smudge and that in no way takes away form the book's overall brilliance.

X-Factor Forever #3 is ball-busthingly awesome. There's no other way to say it. I can give it nothing less than a perfect 5 out of 5, and A-plus, a golden star, and whatever other title perfection can display. Now with Mr. Sinister poised to make an appearance in the next issue, my excitement for this series grows. My only remorse is that it's still just a mini. Simonson does everything right while Chris Claremont does so many things wrong with X-men Forever, yet he gets a biweekly series. It's completely unfair and bogus, but for what it's worth. X-Factor Forever kicks the ass of every major X-title and deserves nothing but the highest of praise. Simonson has done it again. X-Factor Forever kicks ass! Nuff said.

X-Position: Louise Simonson - My Question Posted!

This week CBR did an X-position on Louise Simonson, writer of X-Factor Forever. That in of itself is awesome enough, but what really has me giddy is that they actually asked a question I posed and Simonson answered it!

X-Position: Louise Simonson

This is big for me because I've been sending questions to X-Position for a long time and my questions were never posted. This is the first and it was well worth the wait! X-Factor Forever is one of my favorite books to come out in a long while and I hope Simonson decides to write more.

So anyways, here's my question.

And now back to all things "X" with this query from MarvelMaster616:

Mrs. Simonson, I've been loving every moment of "X-Factor Forever" thus far. Your portrayal of the original five is spot on! I especially like how you've used Cyclops and Jean Grey. Nobody has done justice to those two in years. But are you really going to end it after just five issues? Is there any chance you'll continue the series in some other form? Keep up the good work!

Thanks. It's a five issue miniseries, and so far, I haven't heard differently. Maybe, if it sells well enough, they'll give me a chance to do a "Twelve" miniseries some day. That would be fun.

It's a shame it's going to stop at five issues. They'll give Chris Claremont an ongoing, but not Louise Simonson. It hardly seems fair. This was the highlight of my week and part of my life. I can die a little happier now.

X-Factor Forever: How X-Factor SHOULD Be

Nearly a year ago when Chris Claremont announced X-men Forever, a novel concept was born. Give a writer who left a certain series the option of coming back and continuing that series as if they never left. Chris Claremont left X-men in 1991 after well-publicized disputes with the editorial staff at the time. Now with X-men Forever, he got to come back and finish what he started. It sounded like a good idea on paper, giving a legendary writer the opportunity to tell the story they want to tell without the editors getting in the way. Unfortunately, the series unfolded as a testament to the importance of editors. Claremont butchered the characters he so carefully crafted in his seminal run, turning Jean into a cheating skank, Ororo into a murdering thug, Logan into too much of an emo, Kitty into an X-23 wannabe, and Cyclops into a dismissive shell.

You would think the idea would have no credibility after X-men Forever, which has declined in sales nearly every week since it started. But the Forever concept has been given a reprieve. Where Chris Claremont failed miserably, Louise Simonson has succeeded. Just this past week, X-Factor Forever 1 was released and Chris Claremont should take notice. While not as extensive as Claremont's run, Louise Simonson brought to life the world of X-Factor. She reunited the Original Five and set them apart from the main X-men, making them more like a mutant version of the Avengers or the Fantastic Four. Cyclops, Jean Grey, Beast, Iceman, and Archangel weren't so much a team as they were a family. That kind of sentiment is difficult in the other titles since the lineup keeps changing. Simonson was able to recapture that feeling in X-Factor Forever, bringing readers back to a time in X-men where there was less doom and gloom and more cosmic threats afoot.

It isn't all peaches and cream. This issue brings the likes of Apocalypse and Cameron Hodge into the fold, two big time villains from the pages of X-Factor that were known to do heavy damage. They utilize the technology of the Celestials, god-like beings who greatly influenced the development of mutants and mankind. Apocalypse is showing his old-school style villainy, getting Hodge under his wing and setting the stage for his trademark badassery. For any self-respecting X-fan, it's a wet dream wrapped in a fantasy.

It all feels like a wonderful extension of Simonson's X-Factor run while also being set up for those not familiar with the series. Even someone just getting into X-men comics could pick this issue up, understand what's going on, and enjoy it. You won't find yourself scratching your head and scheduling a brain biopsy like many found themselves doing after reading issue one of X-men Forever. Nothing is forced and nothing is done out of context. Claremont's series fails due to a lack of balance where his ideas aren't necessarily too much, they just happen too fast and they feel too forced. Simonson takes a more conservative approach with X-Factor. She forces nothing, keeping each character in line with how they developed over the course of X-Factor. While it doesn't feel too bold and the reader is left wanting more in some areas, there's just enough to keep you hooked. Claremont overshot by a mile whereas Simonson undershot by a few feet. Neither title is perfect, but by comparison you have a toxic waste dump next to a half-completed structure with only minor dents in it. Some parts can still be buffed out, but a toxic waste dump is much harder to clean up.

When taken together, the Forever titles leave us with two major conclusions. It was a shame that Louise Simonson left when she did and it was a good thing Chris Claremont left when he did. Simonson still had plenty of stories to tell while the editors that chased Claremont away from X-men were more than vindicated. If Claremont had his way, Wolverine would have been killed and many characters would have been skewed beyond repair. Even though Claremont gave us some of the most memorable moments in X-men history, his vision for the X-men simply wasn't palatable. He had to go. X-men Forever shows that when it comes to the essence of these characters, he's essentially forgotten the very nature of what made them great. Simonson shows she hasn't forgotten and she can still tell great stories that speak to both old school fans and new readers.

So in the bout between Simonson and Claremont, Simonson wins with a KO in X-Factor Forever and Claremont's X-men Forever remains the ugly step-child with a cleft lip, a deformed skull, and bent spine that makes people vomit when it tries to speak. X-Factor Forever #1 is a must-have for anyone fond old school X-Factor or just a less dreary take on these classic characters. For great story, great art, and great characters I deem X-Factor Forever a title worthy of true awesome.