Friday, July 22, 2011

SDCC X-men Panel - Hints, Teases, and More Reasons to Get Drunk

Well I've been waiting for and dreading it all week! I made sure I was good and drunk before it happened. I got naked just in case. Sometimes I get excited and it helps to be naked, especially when these comic panels are such a mixed bag. There have been years where I've come away needing a good kick in balls and a thorough shower to wipe off the stench. There have also been years where I need to inject beta blockers into the base of my spine because the awesome is just so intense that my heart would explode if I allowed it to overwhelm me. I'm never sure which it will be. This year we've had Schism, Fear Itself tie-ins, a new Uncanny writer, more Jean Grey teases, Age of X, X-23, and Children's Crusade. So the guys at Marvel that actually get paid to blow our minds have a lot to work with. CBR posted a full report and I think I can say with confidence that there is plenty of promise for the X-books.

CBR: CCI X-men Panel

Schism was the main topic and understandably so. It's a big deal when the X-men's most epic bromance crumbles like Larry King's last three marriages. It's going to change a lot of shit. Uncanny is getting relaunched alongside a new book unoriginally entitled Wolverine and the X-men. Gee, I wonder what it's about? Titles aside, we don't know who will be on which team. Team Cyclops and Team Wolverine are more divided than hoards of Twilight fans fighting over pubic hairs from Robert Pattinson. The only confirmation revealed was Emma Frost. She was on the cover of Uncanny X-men, which pretty much affirms who she sides with. But seriously, how is that shocking? Wherever Cyclops and his penis go, she goes. So any prospects of the Cyclops/Emma relationship ever being shaken up by this shit can be shot in the head and buried with the Pope's gay porno stash. But there were some other strange hints by Axel Alonso that indicated that Cyclops might not be around after Schism. Now he could just be blowing hot air, but if Cyclops is not involved in the X-books then that's a big fucking deal. The X-books have been the Cyclops and Friends show for quite some time. If Schism is really that bad, then maybe everyone's favorite psychic-loving leader may be on the out. If that's the case, it could be a shift on par with Pat Robertson wearing assless chaps to a Lady Gaga concert.

As always, there was a Jean Grey question. As always, Marvel brushes it off. And even though Nick Lowe confirmed that Hope and Jean aren't linked, Axel saw fit to be coy about it. All I can ask is why? Marvel still has a strict "No Jean Grey in 616" policy. They brought up her Age of Apocalypse version, but for some fans there can be no substitutes. It's not a matter of coke vs. pepsi. It's a matter of Rolex watch and a shitty replica.

Overall, there are some intriguing prospects to be gained from this panel. There's nothing too disgusting, but nothing that warrants breaking out a mountain of blow. It definitely heightens the potential for Schism. I'll definitely be keeping track of that series here on this blog so stay tuned for more assessments as they come in as well as more tips on how to mix booze and comics. 2011 has been a decent year so far. Before the Mayan Apocalypse sets in, Marvel has plenty more to offer! Nuff said.


  1. Still no Jean coming in the distant future? Was expecting it but it would be nice if Marvel didn't treat her like she's just been thrown away.

    I was kinda hoping Emma would be off with Wolverine so she could develop more but the after effects of Schism are still very interesting to think about.

  2. You're right, Kuki. It WOULD be nice. But this is Marvel. They have a fuck-with-Jean-at-every-turn policy that won't be abandoned as long as the current order is in place. Now I want to believe that these teases are leading to something, but until I see otherwise I'm taking every one of these hints about Jean Grey with a kick in the balls.

    And Emma being on the opposite side of Wolverine pretty much confirms that nothing is really going to happen with her. She will still be Cyclops's arm candy by the end of this. I hope Marvel does something to mix it up, but I'm not getting my hopes up. But that's just me. I've been wrong before.