Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Scanned Thoughts: Uncanny X-men #20


In my experience, personal vendettas can be more intoxicating than any drug. Even the most hopelessly addicted crackhead has nothing on some pissed off ex-cop father who makes it his life mission to torment the guy who slept with his daughter and convinced her to get a tattoo of Eminem on her ass. It’s an addiction for which there is no overdose or hangover. Succeeding in exacting the desired revenge brings a high that all the blow in Colombia can’t match. And that’s exactly the high that Maria Hill has been seeking in Uncanny X-men. She has convinced herself that arresting Cyclops and throwing him back in jail will somehow give her unlimited orgasms and she has spent much of the relaunched Uncanny X-men chasing his ass, ignoring other global threats and a looming Sentinel conspiracy. I would say she’s obsessed, but I’m a drunk. I’m in no position to judge. But I won’t shy away from criticism as I review Uncanny X-men #20. She has already been wiping her ass with the constitution. The Ron Paul in me just can’t let that go.

And I think it’s safe to say that Ron Paul would be pretty pissed off at the way Maria Hill is flat out ignoring Hijack’s constitutional rights. To be fair, Hijack deserves to have his balls busted to some extent. This is a guy who clearly didn’t listen to Edward Snowden when he flat out told the world that the government listened to every fucking phone call that everyone made, from telemarketers to phone sex. So when he made a call to Cyclops begging to come back, he might as well have invited Maria Hill to storm his room and interrogate his ass. At least this time she didn’t detain him like she did Goldballs. She just barks orders and bitches at him in an effort to extract Cyclops’s location, which he clearly doesn’t know. It doesn’t work, but lucky for him that Sentinel attack from the previous issue gets SHIELD’s attention. So they leave Hijack in peace, alone in his room. It’s not much of an improvement from what they did to Goldballs, but for a government operation I’ll take it. If only Congress were this efficient at improvement.


Maria Hill returns to the Hellicarrier, practically foaming at the mouth over the possibility of arresting Cyclops. She’s probably even hoping that the Sentinel attack softened them up. If she’s expecting that, then clearly she’s being overly optimistic. Cyclops is capable of being destroyed by many things. A killer robot isn’t one of them. A pissed off psychic ex-girlfriend? Maybe. But certainly not a killer robot. She talks about how Cyclops is a brilliant strategist who thinks 10 steps ahead of everyone else. And she’s right. Cyclops is that good. He led the entire mutant race for a while, beat Norman Osborn, and found time to satisfy Emma Frost in between. He’s pretty damn formidable and Maria Hill knows it. She thinks she can get the jump on him this time. I also once thought I could get out of a speeding ticket by doing a striptease to a female cop. It sounds like a good idea on paper, but not so much in practice.


Maria Hill doesn’t even get a chance to get one step ahead of Cyclops. Hell, she doesn’t even get half a step. Cyclops hits her with a psychic attack, courtesy of the Stepford Cuckoos. They effectively cut her off from her rage boner and give them a chance to have a little chat where she’s not in a position to do some Dick Cheney style interrogations. Cyclops just wants to know if SHIELD is responsible for the Sentinel attacks. The Cuckoos reveal that Maria Hill isn’t the one pulling the trigger. But Cyclops still considers her responsible because this shit is happening on her watch. She has all of SHIELD’s resources at her disposal and she’s not doing jack shit to stop innocent mutants from being attacked. That makes her at least partially responsible in Cyclops’s book. Plus, there’s still that issue of all those Sentinels that SHIELD had been hiding during X-men Battle of the Atom. Kind of hard to give her the benefit of the doubt.

But that’s not the only thing that the Stepford Cuckoos revealed. It would have been enough to just confirm that Maria Hill wasn’t the one behind the Sentinel attacks and that she’s still not entirely sure what the fuck is going on in her bloated government organization. The Cuckoos also reveal that Maria Hill is actually attracted to Cyclops. I honestly thought I was too stoned when I read this. But it’s really there. Maria Hill actually gets all warm and tingly between her legs when she thinks of this outlaw fugitive revolutionary. I don’t know why, but something about that makes me smile and gives me a boner. I don’t think I should be too surprised though. Cyclops is a man who has successfully satisfied both Jean Grey and Emma Frost. The power of his penis is undeniable. Why shouldn’t Maria Hill be drawn to it? I’m not a woman so I can’t offer a valid reason. I can only hope that when she gets him alone in a room with handcuffs and no cameras, some wonderfully pornographic things happen.


Cyclops, to his credit, doesn’t immediately resort to the power of his penis to get what he wants. He’s not without manners I guess, which after dating Emma Frost is saying something. He remains only partially convinced that Maria Hill isn’t involved. He works under the assumption that SHIELD is sophisticated enough to equip sensitive minds with psychic shielding and false thoughts. It’s not as paranoid as it sounds. But he leaves Maria Hill another step or so behind them by having the Stepford Cuckoos make everyone on the deck take a quick psychic nap. It’s not a terrible dick move. There are way worse things he could have done. But it does work. And it’s probably for the better too. Her panties are probably soaked at this point.


As nice as it is seeing Cyclops pwn Maria Hill and make her horny at the same time, there are other forces involved in this conflict that have fallen to the wayside in recent issues. A while back, Magneto took a brief trip to Madripoor and learned that Mystique and Sabretooth had set up shop. They essentially turned this outpost of decadence and vice into an all-mutant community, even using MGH to turn the resident humans into mutants. Magneto didn’t buy into it. In fact, he nearly blew their asses up. But that incident, which helped launch Magneto’s solo series, also revealed what happened to Dazzler after Mystique took her place. It would have been effective enough to just put her in a coma and lock her in a cell. But unlike Cyclops, Mystique has to go the extra mile when it comes to dick moves.

Magneto may have bailed, but Madripoor is still thriving under Mystique’s “mutants only” rule. We also find out that Blob, who was one of the many mutants who lost his powers after House of M, only got his powers back through MGH. And when he goes to get more, he finds out that the source of MGH is coming directly from Dazzler. By Mystique’s logic, this bitch betrayed mutant kind by rubbing shoulders with SHIELD. Putting her in a coma and using her to make MGH is probably the most merciful thing she could do. But Blob doesn’t just seem interested in getting more MGH and his eyes look like Bob Marley’s after spending three days in Amsterdam. It’s hard to really make out what’s going on in this scene. Maybe it’s just because I’m not sober, but he doesn’t seem entirely okay with keeping a pretty blond in a coma. I’m pretty sure this is how some illegal German pornos begin. Not much is revealed or hinted at, which makes this scene even more confusing. It leaves perverse minds like mine to make some pretty fucked up conclusions. I want to say I know where this will lead. I’m just afraid my dick will hate me if I’m wrong.


Beyond catching up with the Madripoor story that’s unfolding, Mystique rejoins SHIELD as Dazzler. It’s the first time in a while that this plot and the Sentinel plot are coming together. Those connections help make Uncanny X-men feel cohesive again, which is refreshing since recent issues gave the impression that it was like a drunk stumbling through a dark room covered in Legos while barefoot. I get that there are a lot of different themes to cover, but bringing the Madripoor story and the Sentinel story into the same narrative is more overdue than Wesley Snipes’ back taxes.

That new cohesion doesn’t mean that SHIELD is gaining any credibility. While Maria Hill might not be the ones orchestrating the Sentinel attacks, she is hoarding Sentinel hardware the same way Hugh Hefner hoards hot blondes. That doesn’t really lend much to her credibility. It also doesn’t help that she looks at these attacks the same way Oliver Stone looks at the JFK assassination. She thinks it’s a conspiracy by Magneto to start a mutant war. It’s only slightly more reasonable than the theory that lizard people conspired to kill JFK. But at least she’s trying.


For Cyclops, he hasn’t resorted to seducing Maria Hill just yet, although I’m sure it’s one of his backup plans. Once back at the New Xavier School, he breaks down the Sentinel attacks and comes to a very important conclusion. They’re not just attacks. They’re reconnaissance, attempting to break them down and uncover their weaknesses. Why else would they send killer robots that the X-men have spent years destroying? It’s way too smart and competent for a government organization like SHIELD. He also suspects that they’re using something akin to Cerebro to attract them. It’s the only way they could stay a step ahead of them.

It’s perfectly logical. It also has the benefit of narrowing down the assholes involved considerably. The amount of people who know how to build, let alone utilize, a device like Cerebro is shorter than the list of those who’ve seen Queen Elizabeth naked. Charles Xavier and Magneto worked together to build it. Guys like Tony Stark have the hardware to put it together. But since he’s easily distracted by naked alien women (and who can blame him?) they cross him off the list. That leaves the big furry douche himself, Hank McCoy. After reviewing All New X-men #25, I did so much Beast bashing that I don’t think I have the energy to restate all the reasons why he’s a total fucking asshole. I’ll only say that I can definitely see him unleashing Sentinels and putting innocent mutants at risk just to piss off Cyclops.


Cyclops has no problem envisioning this too so he takes Magik and teleports to the Jean Grey Institute for a little chat. Again, Cyclops is about as welcome as a bed bug infestation. He doesn’t attack them or anything. He just demands to speak with Beast. It’s understandably tense, but this is shit we’ve seen on multiple occasions now. Cyclops shows up, everyone at the Jean Grey Institute gets pissed, and Cyclops leaves with his balls a little bigger. It’s starting to get old, but there is more than just pwnage to address this time. Both schools have an interest in finding out who the hell is throwing Sentinels at them like spam emails for cheap Viagra. And since Beast has shown he’s more than capable of fucking up the timeline, Cyclops just needs to make sure he’s not fucking up more than that.


That’s when another plot that has been abandoned for the past few issues comes into play. This time it’s Cyclops’s broken powers. Unlike the Dazzler plot, it hasn’t been explained or been made interesting for that matter. Readers only have so many fucks to give about plots that began 20 issues ago and this is one of them that’s running dangerously low. But it does have quite an impact when Cyclops’s powers flare up and start going off in a way I’m sure the Jean Grey Institute is used to by now. In addition, it also alerts Maria Hill and SHIELD that he’s out in the open again. So once again, he’s basically fucked himself over. He’ll need to find a way to make his balls even bigger to get himself out of this shit.


Whatever hole Edward Snowden is hiding, I hope he manages to slip out long enough to read this comic. I think it would put a smile on his face. On the day after tax day when the government conducts its annual fiscal sodomy on its citizens, I can’t think of a more appropriate comic to enjoy. I know that SHIELD is not the IRS, but I suspect SHIELD is what the IRS wishes it could be in their dirtiest of dreams that don’t involve a Kardashian. So when Cyclops still finds a way to piss off Maria Hill while making her wet in the panties, I just can’t help but love it. I don’t mean to sound too anti-government. I know I’m probably pissing off everyone in the NSA. But after dutifully paying my taxes, I think I’ve earned right to tell them to fuck off, at least for one day and Uncanny X-men #20 just makes it more satisfying. That’s why I give it a 9 out of 10. If only Cyclops’s randomly volatile optic blasts were pointed at IRS or the Federal Reserve. It might not undo his crimes, but it’ll probably make Maria Hill want to bone him even more. Nuff said!

49 comments:

  1. Cyclops seems pretty paranoid and that's probably what the guy in the helmet wants. He wants Cyclops to see enemies everywhere and probably devised a device that can detect mutants, but wants the world to take them down for him, while Cyclops underestimates the world when it come to technology development as he gets manipulated while thinking he serves a higher purpose of creating a mutant promise land and expecting all mutants to want it which makes him the perfect choice to be used.

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  2. Possibly Jean Grey? Nah, it's never Jean Grey.

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    1. Nah, i dont think she is bubblehead, is simply not her style; although whoever (or whatever ?) is inside that helmet (?) maybe is working for her.

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  3. Jack, only the 9th scan can be viewed... i really want to see the 4th one where the Cuckoos revealed Hill has a crush on Scott... :)

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  4. "Successfully satisfied Jean Grey and Emma Frost?" Established Canon says otherwise. Jean Grey was so unsatisfied with Cyclops in bed that she willingly had a psychic affair with Jason Wyngard during the Dark Phoenix saga, had her first vaginal orgasm from causing a sun to supernova (Claremont himself has confirmed this), and then proceeded to have several intimate heavy petting sessions with Wolverine.

    Jean and Cyclops' marriage ended because Cyclops was impotent and frigid at the same time. He had not had sex with Jean since the Twelve story ended, and Jean was completely disgusted by his weakness. Emma slept with Namor, King of Atlantis, both before hooking up with Cyclops and during Kieron Gillen's Uncanny X-Men. Hell, she even made out with Namor in front of Cyclops when UNIT "forced suggested" she and Namor should make out.

    Then he couldn't even save his marriage to Madelyne Pryor, or even be a good father to his son. Cyclops is quite thick headed and very concrete. He relied on Beast to act as the brains of the operation.

    The fact that Cyclops is this paranoid he has three of his students violate the mind of an innocent government agent based on his own paranoid delusions and then accuse his oldest friend of trying to kill him is pure schizophrenic paranoia. Cyclops needs to be sectioned to the nearest mental ward for the criminally insane.

    Fod_xp

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    1. I get it. You hate Cyclops. You're just distorting the "facts".

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    2. No, just comprehending the material with a sharp critical eye. Cyclops is also implicating Rachel Summers as a co-conspirator with Beast in his rant. A Cerebro machine needs a skilled telepath to operate the device. Without a telepath the Cerebro/Cerebra machines are completely and utterly useless. Cyclops is so paranoid he wants to invade the others privacy, like the NSA or SHIELD, and also imply his own daughter is working against him.

      That is a sad pitiful creature. What is worse is Cyclops used to be in my top five favorite X-Men. My top Five were: Beast, Emma Frost, Abigail Brand, Cyclops, Armor. Now I despise what Bendis has twisted Cyclops into. He isn't a hero or revolutionary, he is a terrorist, just like Magneto.

      I fact check the sources and information in my posts. It's called being a serious long term comic book fan and living in denial. The material is out there; it's not my fault you choose to be willfully ignorant of X-Men continuity.

      Fod_xp

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    3. It's called being a serious long term comic book fan and living in denial.

      Should read: It's called being a serious long term comic book fan, as opposed to living in denial. God how embarrassing.

      Fod_xp

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    4. You are wrong

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  5. @Fod_xp, your eye is not critical but stupid... it's either you're a die-hard Wolverine fanboy or a weird Beast fan... stop pretending...

    maybe you're frustrated that neither Beast nor Wolverine can't get Jean, whether the adult or young version... while Scott is basically sleeping with her every single night in their relationship... even Logan admits Jean is scared of him and loves Scott... pairing off Jean with Logan is just a fan service for stupid people who has fetish of girls having relationship with 40-year-old hairy midgets...

    Scott and Jean were brought to a timeline where they proved to be good parents for Nathan, read Cyclops and Phoenix adventures...

    Rachel is also Scott's daughter in alternate timeline... Scott had a relationship with Frenzy in Age of X... Psylocke, Domino and Tempus were attracted to him at some time, and now Maria Hill... sure, Logan slept with many women, Scott is not a man-whore like him or Namor... both of whom epically failed to steal Jean and Emma from Scott...

    Scott might be paranoid but who wouldn't if you're in his situation? stop defending the obvious hypocrisy of Beast, Wolverine and Storm... Jean murdered billions as Dark Phoenix yet a school was named after her by her pervert admirer Logan... Logan killed many, two of them were X-men if i recall correctly yet still an Avenger and an X-man headmaster... and Wanda, do i have to go on? but Scott killed one man, his father figure, under the influence of Phoenix, and he cannot get the same freakin' luxury of Jean, Logan and Wanda...

    spit all crap you want, your logic sucks... Cyclops rules!!! deal with it...

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  6. all you wolverine fan boys need to realize hugh jackman only plays him in the movies,not in the comics.in the comics wolverine comes across as an old creepy,hairy midget.not as a tortured handsome loner like the movies.scott summers has always been the Bradley cooper of the marvel comic universe.thats why he gets all the hot mutant and human ass served up on a silver platter.CYCLOPS WAS RIGHT.deal with it....

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  7. Bedding women does not mean you are a good leader. Contrary to your rantings, both anons, Cyclops has had a terrible string of past relationships that he has destroyed. Also, Emma Frost used to sleep with him, she doesn't anymore. Cyclops and Emma Frost are single and no longer have sex. So, that's one clear example that neither of you anons can be objective, and you lack reading comprehension.

    Read Grant Morrison's New X-Men, Jean Grey-Summers was openly disgusted with Cyclops' sexual impotence. He had taken an oath of celibacy since the Twelve story arc concluded. That means he wasn't have sex at all. That is until Emma Frost duped Cyclops into have Telepathic sex behind his wife's back.

    The Phoenix doesn't control those it possesses; rather it brings out the strongest traits of its host. Back in the beginning of the Dark Phoenix Saga is was out right stated by Jean that she found many "filthy and perverted thoughts attractive" and wished for sexual independence. That is what the Phoenix gave her. The Hellfire Club only stripped away her inhibitions about expressing her true desires for sexual extroversion. The Dark Phoenix Saga doesn't even hid Jean's desires behind vague metaphor either, she is open about it. In fact while the X-Men are captured by the Hellfire Club, Black Queen Jean whips Storm and calls her a slave.

    The last time Someone killed Xavier, that *one* man, it started the Age of Apocalypse time line. You, know, just throwing that out there for you. Namor is a man whore, but he at least can run a Kingdom that still exists. Utopia didn't even last an entire year.

    Chris Claremont wanted to end X-Men with Wolverine and Kitty playing chess at the end of the universe until Jean as the Phoenix appeared to collect Kitty and Wolverine. Then Jean and Wolverine would hook up and share the ultimate intimacy. So, yes, Claremont is a Jean/Wolverine 'shipper, and he wrote 17 consecutive years of Uncanny X-Men, as well as long runs on New Mutants and Excalibre.

    You realize your argument has no factual or intellectual basis to stand on? It essentially is "lalalallalalallalalala I can't hear you." You need to grow up kid and spend more time paying attention in school and less time reading funny books.

    Fod_xp

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    1. Calm down. It's just a comic book man. No need to get your panties in a bunch.

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    2. he can't calm down because he's a fanboy and a hater

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  8. bedding women does not mean a good leader... which completely destroys your "Cyclops is impotent" argument... what an idiot... lol

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  9. Emma frowning when she heard that Tempus is attracted to Cyclops proves that she still has feelings for the guy, eventhough they are not in a relationship anymore... read comics, dude and stop pretending that Cyke is one of your top 5 faves... and stop making yourself a comic-genius because obviously you're not... you're just a fanboy and a Cyclops-hater...

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  10. why would Emma - a self-proclaimed sex therapist - seduce an impotent man? you're stupid... you're just angry because hot women goes to Scott and not to your REAL favorite character... how young are you by the way? 8? 12? it figures... only those you passed puberty can understand comic. more...

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  11. obvoiusly a Wolverine fanboy

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  12. Wow, the maturity level in this response forum is non existent. Emma Frost started sleeping with Cyclops to screw around with Jean Grey by manipulating Cyclops. Read Grant Morrison's New X-Men. She ended up falling in love with him because of his "patented boyscout chivalry" not his sexual prowess.

    Cyclops' first wife was Madelyne Pryor and he had a son, Cable, with her. He ended up ditching both of them immediately when he heard Jean Grey was alive again. This was the start of X-Factor (1986) when the Original five were reunited. This was the real reason Jean Grey was resurrected and Beast got his old human body back. Cyclops ignored Madelyne and his child in favor of Jean to the point where Jean was a complete bitch and Madelyne punched Cyclops in his face for cheating on her.

    Cyclops is impotent emotionally, and it's canon, because he is self destructive and chronically depressed. He is a basket case, and he has finally snapped. His own personal demons are his own worst enemy because his overwhelming self doubt and fear of losing control created the uptight, boyscout persona he exhibited for most of his life.

    Emma frowned at Tempus because Emma was very possessive of Cyclops, it is a signature character trait. Emma Frost was the White Queen of the Hellfire Inner Circle and contributed to Jean's Dark Phoenix situation, which ended with Jean almost killing Emma. Emma claimed a lot of things; being only 27 years old, being a sex therapist, and being an X-Men.

    She likes to play mind games and get revenge on those she hates. Cyclops was a means to get back at Jean. Until Emma found some things about Cyclops attractive. Mostly his dopy, boyscout naivete. Even still, Emma was the dominant partner behind the scenes. She's an alpha female that leads from behind, while Cyclops is out in the field.

    I am knowledgeable in comics because I research comic book history and diversify my comic book reading. I have never once claimed to like Wolverine, but I find it amusing that is in someway supposed to discredit my facts. I myself haven't once defended Wolverine or Beast's actions, simply stated things they have done or things comic book writers intended them to do in planned stories.

    As for which comics I read, it wouldn't matter because you wouldn't know the writers, characters, or companies and you wouldn't even bother to do a simple google search to learn either. My age is 25, if you really must know.

    As for my top REAL favorite characters in comics well: one of the top 3 is Lord Fanny- the flirtatious fashionista transvestite death shaman from Grant Morrison's The Invisibles.

    Fod_xp

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    1. When you open up with 'loser at sex' comments and wrap up with claiming others wouldn't know about the stuff you read (comments right out of hipster 101) you put yourself right into the 'lack of maturity' grouping you claim to despise. There are plenty of comic characters I don't like, and do you know how 'I' handle that? By not reading about them, not watching films about them, and not talking about them. I'd much rather spend that time dealing with things I enjoy instead.

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  13. get a life Fod_xp

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  14. after destroying his "Cyclops is impotent" argument, he revised it now to --- "Cyclops is EMOTIONALLY impotent" argument... what an idiot... lol...

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  15. Yep, still not actually addressing any of my points, but instead continuing to stoop to ad hominem attacks. You all have no credible arguments to make, and only prove me correct. You haven't "destroyed" anything, simply proven me correct on all accounts. It's so nice to know I am right in all things. I couldn't be more smug and content with my intellectual victory over you unwashed, plebeian masses.

    Fod_xp

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    1. So you don't have anything to say other than trollollollol. Got it.

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  16. cyclops was right.just deal with it.

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    1. Spoken like a true neckbeard. Man, you guys nerdrage worse than those dorky man-children who play those trading card games or squeakers losing while playing Call of Duty.

      Fod_xp♥

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    2. Can you please let us be? We don't need anymore conflict.

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    3. Wow Fod_xp♥ you can make babies cry.
      Conflict? I only see simple conversations. This Man. This Child. MAN-CHLID!
      What is the tree so is the fruit. It seems funny Cycho's impotency bears the same.
      You say that Fod_xp♥ is a hater look at those molts they're piling up.
      Again Jean didn't blew up the broccoli planet it is the Phoenix itself hello Jamaica Bay retcon . And you say you are comic bool fans are you Marvel Co.?
      Wolverine killed -- yes but didn't he indirectly made Oya kill? Yes! Boom Boom apparently died coz of him? Yes!
      Don't point fingers on Jean and the others we're talking about him and him only.
      Please stop moma papa bohooohoo! CRAYCRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      (Nuffer!)

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    4. lol... how pathetic... funny how Wolverine fanboys divert issues... since when did indirect killing became a bigger crime than direct killing itself? Logan even killed his own children for goodness' sake...

      it's funny that when Jean killed billions, it was the Phoenix, but when Cyclops killed Xavier, it was Cyclops and not the Phoenix...

      boohoo, Wolverine fanboys, BOOHOOOOO!!! lol...

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  17. yeah, Fod_xp proved he is a Cyclops hater and a Wolverine fanboy... claiming you're knowledgeable and how mature you are proves the exact opposite... also, Emma loves Scott bloody Summers, if you really read comics, so stop distorting the storyline... nice trolling, by the way...

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  18. wow! look how this flooded! not only Scott was right, he is also innocent. if someone will claim Jean and Wanda are innocent, then the same should be treated for Scott!

    read the comics, people esp. Fod_xp because Cyclops will never ever kill Xavier if he is nit influenced by the Phoenix. deep down inside, you know that is true, you just hate Scott, you haters! lol!

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  19. Wolverine fanbabies cry every so often, please have patience hahaha

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  20. how i wish Jack Fisher himself would comment. if he's not drunk, you'll see him rant about how hypocrisy is the food of Logan and Steve Rogers.

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  21. So, is Fod STILL doing his Black Knight impression? You aren't winning, but you have lost both your arms. How about we call it a draw?

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  22. bah! Wolverine fanboys and their "Cyclops is boyscout" argument, Fod_xp just changed it to "Cyclops is impotent"

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  23. someone's being an idiot too...

    Jean did not blow up a planet, but the Phoenix itself? by that same logic, Cyclops did not kill Xavier... yet, Scott is man enough to take the responsibility and go to jail...

    Scott made Oya kill indirectly? sure... but that's the most stupid reason to use to defend someone like Wolverine who kills DIRECTLY...

    Boom Boom was killed because of Scott? read comics, dude! Boom Boom was also saved because of him...

    don't point fingers? why? because you cannot handle the argument? you're favorite character was being put to bad light? you are the one who's crying, so DEAL WITH IT...

    as for the stupid Fod_xp who claims he was mr.know-it-all... there are many reasons Emma fell inlove with Scott and why other telepaths are attracted to him... it's because of his mind... and he explains that to Shanna... i hope you read the particular comic, mr.genius...

    of course you should know that Scott should have been happily married to Madelyne and Jean staying dead, had not been the writers wanted to start X-Factor showcasing the Original Five... that's the reason why the writers made Scott leave Madelyne... and he did come back for her, but she was kidnapped by Sinister...

    and yes, by saying "bedding women does not make a good leader" officially destroys you're idiotic "Cyclops is impotent" argument... and that's the reason why you revised it to "Cyclops is EMOTIONALLY impotent"... please... you're idiocy is obvious...

    you are even discrediting Scott's obvious charisma by saying that Emma just claims a lot of things... the point is, Emma is a hot woman and she was attracted to Scott... so is Psylocke, Tempus, Lee Forrester, Colleen Wing, Domino, Frenzy and even Storm from an alternate reality... DEAL WITH IT...

    and you made me laugh on that "unwashed, plebeian masses" remark, dude... yeah, clearly you really are a 25-year-old...

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  24. Is anyone actually reading and comprehending my posts? At no point did I ever say I liked Wolverine. In fact the only time I ever enjoyed Wolverine was when Joss Whedon took the piss out of the character in Torn by reducing him to a Percy Doventails caricature, where he ran around like Pip from South Park. That shit was hilarious! As for Cyclops, I liked him best when Grant Morrison, Joss Whedon, and Warren Ellis wrote him.

    The X-Men isn't about Cyclops' revolution or Wolverine's mad hard on for Cyclops. It's about team work, tolerance, and peaceful co-existence despite hostile intolerance from other factions. Doing this "revolutionary war" shit is Magneto's shtick. Xavier's dream was tolerance and co-existence with humans, despite the fact that mutants could quite clearly wipe humans off the face of the planet easily, even though part of Xavier despised lowly humans.

    That was the difference between Xavier and Magneto; Magneto couldn't keep his shit together and went genocidal, while Xavier controlled his inner rage because he realize nothing productive would come from killing 7 billion humans. Cyclops, sadly, seems to have list that perspective, and decided the ends of safeguarding mutants justify any means no matter how extreme.

    As for Wolverine's political views, I think Warren Ellis' Astonishing X-Men: Xenogensis arc summed it up best: he's an ignorant, hypocritical murdering bastard that talks shit about everyone because his motivation is either money or bloody vengeance, no matter the body count. Hell, in Warren Ellis' Astonishing X-Men: Ghost Box, he took down an enemy and then fatally gutted the guy with his claw as an interrogation tactic right in front of Armor, and it really scared her. Armor did get to make fat jokes about Wolverine in every Ellis Astonishing X-Men arc though, hilarious!

    So, the Cyclops I've been reading since 2006, again including material from the 70s and 80s as well as material from 2001-2010, is far different than the Cyclops I was introduced to and grew to admire. He made tough choices, was emotionally impotent, depressed, self-destructive, hidden behind an uptight self controlled boyscout, but still listened to his friends and managed to come off as pretty badass.

    The Cylcops I empathized with was deeply flawed and emotionally impotent, but heroic. I was invested in Cyclops' journey to over come his self inflicted emotional wounds, waiting for him to eventually triumph over them because of his trust in his friends. However, all I get from Bendis' Cyclops is a murdering, paranoid mad terrorist jumping at shadows, and being a giant dick.

    It's rather heartbreaking personally because I loved the Cyclops and Beast friendship, and I loved the Cyclops, Emma Frost, and Beast trio. I remember when I was the sole defender of Whedon and Ellis' respective Astonishing X-Men runs on CBR and constantly defending and promoting Cyclops, Emma Frost, Beast, and the rest of the Astonishing X-Men roster as perfect examples of a balanced team in both power dynamics and interpersonal drama.

    When Grant Morrison wrote Beast in New X-Men he wrote him as having Bi-polar tendencies because it actually adhered to long term Beast character canon and explained his tendencies to cycle from manic, jovial behavior to depression. I don't get the feeling Bendis knows that little fact.

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  25. Yeah, sorry about the essay long comments.

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  26. then you should've attacked Bendis and not Cyclops

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    1. Bendis lives vicariously through Cyclops, which makes it so much more unbearable. Cyclops has his harem not because the character has an undeniable charm, but Bendis has to have certain male lead character(s) surrounded by attractive women.

      He did the same thing with Hawkguy and Luke Cage when he wrote the Avengers. It really hurt both characters' credibility and likeability. Thank god, Matt Fraction is now writing Hawkeye, even if Matt Fraction is a pretentious hipster.

      Bendis was the writer who wrote Avengers: Disassembled and House of M, so he is the writer most responsible for the Scarlet Witch going nuts and Decimation, all because Bendis wanted to break up the Avengers into an "Unsanctioned Street Team" and "Government Backed Official Team." Sound familiar?

      He used the Scarlet Witch for that, and then Quesada decided why not use the Scarlet Witch to severely reduce the mutant population. Quesada is was an outspoken fan of Luke Cage and meta-humans as a kid. So many of his polices and mandates were pro Avengers, Luke Cage, Ms. Marvel and other superheroes that were not mutants.

      I bitch because I still care about Cyclops, and I wasn't attacking him, just stating the situation, and don't get started on Beast. Whatever is happening with him I don't even care. Send him to the Peak with Abby so they can play "Alien Science Pervert" with each other all day and night. It's a thing they do, re: Warren Ellis' Astonishing X-Men: Ghost Box. That way he's in indefinite character limbo with his girlfriend and can't fuck up more shit.

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  27. you did attack Cyclops, dude... you can review your earlier posts... but none of that...

    what would you want Cyclops should be? if he's a boyscout like before, you bitch... if he's a revolutionary like today, you bitch...

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    1. I wasn't bitching about Cyclops being the emotionally impotent boyscout. That's his character, and I liked that. Because when he manned up it usually coincided with a badass feat display and him saying really fucking cool one liners. I was bitching about his character has been co-opted into everything he isn't and has never stood for, and that Bendis and AvX are the main culprits. So things like "Cyclops' harem" and "Cyclops is right" spit in the face of his character. When Cyclops becomes a meme, you've ruined the character. He is the definitive anti-meme.

      Similarly, Beast is a slightly unhinged, dry witted, bi-polar mad scientist with an alien girlfriend. Again like with Emma Frost: a manipulative, murdering, dominatrix who's morally and ethically compromised, and tends to resort to unsavory methods to solve her problems. Or Abigail Brand: she nuked Wundagore Mountain from orbit...JUST TO BE SURE!

      She even would have nuked it if the Astonishing X-Men team was still inside Wundagore Mountain if too many invading alternate reality mutant created Sentinels breached the open Ghost Box portal. Then Abby was apart of resurrecting Colossus and subsequently torturing him....and she kills people, aliens, threatens to kill alien diplomats, and so on.

      I like these characters because of their deeply flawed and deranged personalities and characters because despite their idiosyncrasies, they are, for the most part, superheroes, and that was one thing Grant Morrison, Warren Ellis, Kieron Gillen, and Joss Whedon retained in their respective X-Men runs. However, Bendis seems to eschew any superhero-type themes or mythology that were intertwined with the X-Men comics and instead goes for some half-baked "revolution" and "ethnic war" bullshit instead.

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  28. with regard to differing philosophies of Xavier and Magneto, Cyclops took both accounts and moved on for the better... he still tried to keep peace with humans and provide home for all mutants... that's the reason why Magneto kneeled in front of "Caesar" and begged to be part of his X-men, remember? what frustrates me is the slow progress of his revolution and Magneto leaving the team, because some people wants him to do something and to have a solo series...

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    1. IKR?! His current character arc seems in permanent limbo. He's gone through three different writers on Uncanny X-Men alone, (Fraction, Gillen, and Bendis) and that doesn't include his other appearances in other X-Men comics or Avengers books, such as Children's Crusade.

      Editorial can't decide to commit to a direction for Magneto's character. It's the Hope Summers Editorial procrastination debacle all over again.

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    2. you might have that conclusion as permanent limbo... but given the circumstances, i still think it's the best path to go, Bendis seems doing a god job...

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  29. Holy shit snacks, I missed out on a big fucking debate. Here, on my humble blog. Where are my manners? Sorry I missed the party guys. I would have loved to contribute. I'll just say that for the past decade, characters and teams have been shaken up basically for the purpose of shaking them up and making them interesting in new ways. Some of those ways suck. But like it or not, it has gotten people talking about it. And it's gotten enough people to buy into this shit. People forget that Marvel was bankrupt at one point. They kind of had to do something different and that's what has led us to today. I don't know what the end result is. I don't think Marvel operates with one in mind. They just do what they think is going to sell and get fans excited, for better or for worse. It pisses us off and makes us gush with joy. It's frustrating at times, but like a good bottle of hard liquor it's worth the hangover.

    Jack

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    1. What's your poison?

      Mine's Silver Tequila and Gin.

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  30. imo, what ruined first Cyclops and the X-men itself is Schism... everything seems perfect when writers decided to split the team and make Logan the leader of the other faction, then came AvX, which sealed the coffin... with all the sh!t that other stupid writers made, i still give thumbs up to Gillen and surprisingly to Bendis, it's just the slow pace that's what's killing me...

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    1. Pretty accurate assessment of the situation, in my opinion. From 2001 to 2008 it was a great time to be an X-Men comic book fan. There were some really compelling storytelling, experimental plot directions (even if they weren't commercially successful), and filled with team books with varied casts and differing mission statements for the most part. Now that's gone by the wayside for some half baked "Game of Thrones" meets hero vs. hero. It's actually quite boring and not entertaining.

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