X-Men: Apocalypse Final Trailer [HD] - Snikt Motherfucker!

Just one month left! One month until we find out once and for all whether Fox can make an X-men movie that doesn't suck and doesn't rely on Ryan Reynolds' insane dedication to making a Deadpool movie. There are a lot of ways Fox can fuck this up. They've done it in the past and it's unreasonable to think they won't do it again. But I'm feeling a bit more upbeat and maybe a bit high. I'm willing to give any movie a chance that has Jennifer Lawrence, Sophie Turner, Alexandra Shipp, and Oscar Issac a chance to be awesome. The final trailer came out today and it even offers something that might give it some extra awesome to compete with Disney, aliens, and ninja turtles. One word people. Snikt!


Oh Hugh, I'm going to miss you. I think I speak for a lot of X-men fans and horny housewives when I say we are so going to miss you. Nuff said!

X-MEN: APOCALYPSE Official Trailer: Apocalyptic Odds

In the old X-men Animated Series, also known as the GREATEST CARTOON EVER, Apocalypse had one line that best summed up what an evil badass he was. He said this:

"There is no freedom from me. There is only freedom through me!"

THAT'S Apocalypse. That's who he is. Of all the complex villains in X-men history, he's probably the most basic. He's a mutant with god-like power, a god-like ego, and a god-like grudge against the weak. Surely, Fox is incapable of fucking up a movie with a character like this. I want to believe it. But time and again, Fox has proven that they're capable of fucking up any character. Just ask Dr. Doom.

That said, I do concede that Fox has done a better job minimizing their fuck-ups with X-men than it has Fantastic Four. I think Bryan Singer is a douche, but he's WAY better than Josh Trank. Pretty sure that shit is beyond dispute.

Singer indirectly admitted he let shit get really fucked up in the X-men movies when he left to make Superman a deadbeat dad when he rebooted the entire X-men canon in X-men: Days of Future Past. Pretty much everything from that movies is now as meaningful as David Hasselhoff's music career. It's probably for the best. Aside from Mystique running around naked, those movies were basically an elaborate circle jerk of stories centered around Wolverine whining about a woman he never got to fuck.

Fox now has a clean slate to work with. They shit all over the clean slate they had with Fantastic Four. Now, this might be their last chance to prove they can't fuck it up. And the trailer finally came out this past week, minus Ivan Ooze. So will it work? Will Singer avoid Trank's mistakes? I don't know. All I know is that Sophie Turner looks fucking gorgeous.


Even if this movie finds a way NOT to suck, the cards are already stacked against it. X-men Apocalypse isn't just battling other Marvel movies next summer. It also has to deal with Batman v. Superman and Independence Day as competition. And Marvel has proven time and again that even their sub-par movies beat the shit out of Fox's best. This is a movie destined to get swallowed up by the collective efforts of the Justice League, the Avengers, and Jeff Goldbloom. So put on some adamantium-coated underwear, X-men fans. It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

Wolverine: Days of Futures Past Trailer - Guest Starring The X-men

I can't make any jokes about certain issues. Genocide, racism, and rape are all touchy subjects and I'm no Danial Tosh. For me, the X-men movies are right up there. I've already made my sentiment clear in plenty of previous posts. I fucking hate every fucking X-men movie that Fox has shat out of their diseased twat. Bryan Singer took a big steaming piss on the concept with his first two movies. Brett Ratner took a massive shit that made it completely irredeemable. Brian K. Vaughn had a chance to reboot the whole thing and substantially unfuck it. But now Singer has come back and is intent on ensuring it remains fucked.

I could go on and on about why these movies are so fucked. I could talk about how James Marsden turned Cyclops into the same fucking character he plays in every movie where he's just the pretty boy who loses out to some other guy who steals his girl, his livelihood, and his life. I could talk about how Jean Grey was given the personality of a comatose chimp. I could talk about how Rogue became the exact opposite of everything that made her awesome in every other X-men medium. I could talk about how every movie turned Wolverine from the ultimate badass to a walking vagina that disgust even Edward Cullen. But I won't. I don't have the strength or the liver capacity to review the long list of reasons these X-men movies suck. It usually just comes down to Bryan Singer not giving enough fucks about characters not named Wolverine. And even when he does care, his only method seems to be making Wolverine into a fucking pussy. But I digress.

Fox and Singer still aren't done fucking the X-men up beyond all recognition. They've got this movie coming out called Wolverine: Days of Futures Past. Actually, they claim it's called "X-men" Days of Futures Past. But we all know that's bullshit on a stick. This is not an X-men movie. It's just Wolverine with the X-men playing a supporting role. Because Singer knows that all worked SO fucking well in X3 where they took the greatest X-men story of all time, the Phoenix Saga, and made it all about fucking Wolverine. Now they're going to take the second greatest X-men story of all time, Days of Futures Past, and make it about fucking Wolverine. That's like someone who just shot themselves in the foot choosing to shoot their other foot just because they want to finish the job. It's like snorting anthrax and then getting an small pox enema. There's no fucking excuse. And the latest trailer basically confirms that this piece of shit movie is going to be another X3. It's not an X-men movie. It's just another bullshit Wolverine movie.



I don't think I need to say anything else. I know this movie is going to make a metric fuckton of money that it doesn't deserve. Even if every fucking person who sees it hates it, Fox will turn a profit and that's all the excuse they need to make another one. They don't own these characters. They just own the rights. That is the extent of the amount of fucks they give. And short of a total fucking reboot, every X-men movie is destined to be completely and utterly fucked. Nuff said.

X-men First Class Movie News - Emma Frost Casted?

So every now and then I take a peak into the workings of the X-men movie business. To me, it's like going in for rectal surgery on the same day I have root canals. It's not my fault that X3 hurt so damn much and that any mention of X-men movies evokes an anger that would make the Hulk squeamish. But I'm trying to be optimistic about X-men First Class. It still isn't clear if this is a reboot or something different, but with Bryan Singer on board there's enough promise to risk another soul-crushing disappointment again.

This week more casting rumors have been flying around like herpes at Flava Flav's house. Rumors of Magneto being casted have been popping up. Professor Xavier is already in the fold with James McAvoy. Now it appears Michael Fassbender may be up for the Magneto role.

Screenrant: Is Michael Fassbender the new Magneto?

It wouldn't be new territory for him. He's done comic movies before such as 300 and Jonah Hex. But he's a little on the young side to be playing a holocaust survivor. Even if this goes back to the early days when Xavier and Magneto were working together, it may only work if it's a flashback. I know makeup artists can do all sorts of amazing things with age, but depending on which time frame the movie will be in it's going to be a factor.

But while the Magneto casting is typical fodder, more are probably excited about the news regarding Emma Frost. Because seriously, what guy wouldn't be more intrigued by the X-men's hot blonde vixen who flaunts her sexuality more than a pre-Karballa Madonna? Whoever plays her role will have to have with her a very special kind of hotness that will send fanboys everywhere into boner-inducing seizures. It seems they may have that in Rosamund Pike.

Screenrant: Rosemund Pike as Emma Frost in X-men First Class?

Now she's not going to be the first one to play Emma. In the last craptastic X-flick, Wolverine Origins, Emma did make a brief appearance in the final moments of the movie. She appeared to be just a teenager at the time. If Pike is going to take the role, that may be a bit trickier because in real life she's 31. I know it's taboo to talk about a woman's age, but when she's smoking hot age is just a gauge between the youthful free spirit stage and the full blown cougar stage. Pike seems to be a bit in between.

This brings up another issue. If Emma is older in this then it won't be nearly as believable as a direct continuation from Wolverine Origins. If this is supposed to be the X-men as teenagers, then an older Emma could mean her role is different. Perhaps she's the X-men's official sex ed teacher? Or maybe she plays the role of teacher for the Academy of Tomorrow (a rival for the institute and possibly a source of inspiration)? Or they could just do what they're doing with Magneto and make her look like a teenager.

My only problem with this is if Emma is going to be a teenager and Cyclops and Jean Grey are already confirmed as being in the movie, then it's almost a certainty that the Scott/Jean/Emma love triangle from the comics will be utilized. While this isn't a bad plot point, it's worth pointing out that it's been fucking done already! Seriously, the first three X-men movies went out of their way to flesh out a ridiculously lame incarnation of the Scott/Jean/Logan triangle. It was one of the worst parts of the film due to sheer logistics. Logan had the hots for Jean in X1, but left at the end of the movie. He arrived in X2 and still had the hots, but only got to flirt a little before she died. Then in X3 somehow she's the love of his life? Bullshit! They barely knew each other for a few days at the most! Yet somehow that's supposed to be deeper than the relationship she's had with Scott, which almost certainly spanned more than just a few days? If that's how the movies handle love triangles, I have no hope for the Scott/Jean/Emma triangle. Seriously, how hard would it be to just let Scott/Jean develop without the need of a fucking love triangle? Hasn't that been brought enough shame to the world of X-men movies?

Whatever they choose as a plot, Emma's presence can only add more sex appeal. That's never a bad thing, but if it leads them down that same road of cliched plots it could be. At the very least it looks like Pike is on the fast track to making X-men First Class more appealing. It'll all depend on how other characters are cast. There's only a year left to put this movie together and if they start rushing it then the X-men movie franchise is in even deeper shit than before.

But movies aside, doesn't Pike have a good Emma Frost feel to her? You be the judge.


On a less serious note, I just added some new pics to my X-men Supreme website. Don't worry, it's the good kind of pics. Specifically, they're sexy pics for the Jean Grey section. For anyone who despised the movies or what happened to her in the comics, this should ease the pain. Nuff said.

X-men Supreme: Revenge of Weapon X Part 3 PREVIEW and Movie News

X-men Supreme is rolling along and the next issue is set to release in one week. The end of the Revenge of Weapon X arc is at hand and some major twists are in the works! Like I said from the beginning, I want to treat this series less like fanfiction and more like a series that Marvel would actually hire me to write. That means keeping it interesting and fresh. I feel this chapter helps do that and sets the stage for some much bigger twists down the line.

But before I get to the preview, some other news came up recently on the X-men First Class front. It seems the movie has it's first confirmed cast member. All the major movie news outlets are reporting that Professor Charles Xavier has a new lead in James McAvoy.

James McAvoy Signs onto X-men First Class

He's Scottish so he has some of the Xavier's background down and he's been in some decent movies such as Wanted and Atonement. The presence of a confirmed cast member helps lend credence that they're serious about this movie, which is a big plus considering how the past few movies have been handled with the equivalent of a drunken retard with carpel tunnel syndrome. What still isn't clear is whether this movie is a full reboot or a prequel. They're still calling it "X-men First Class" and not "X-men Origins: First Class." Either they'll keeping it under wraps or they have no fucking clue themselves. Whatever the case, Xavier has a new face and reports are that Magneto's actor will soon follow. I'll be sure to report that as soon as the information emerges.

For now, enjoy the preview of Revenge of Weapon X Part 3. Check back on June 4th to see the thrilling conclusion!

“No!” he cursed, “Not now! Not when I’m so close!”

“Doctor, what’s going on?!” exclaimed one of his fellow scientists.

“I don’t know! But stay at your posts! Get the backup systems online!” he ordered.

“Are you kidding?!” exclaimed another scientist, “I’m reading total grid failure and nearly all the servers are being shorted out by some magnetic interference! There’s no way we can continue like this!”

But Dr. Cornelius wouldn’t have it. He grabbed the nearest scientists and held him by the throat.

“I will not accept such cowardice! We’ve come too far to stop now!”

“With all due respect sir, you didn’t hire us for our bravery,” retorted the scientist.

He then broke free and ran off along with many of his other co-workers. Dr. Cornelius was forced to hold onto a nearby console to stay upright from the shaking. He watched as nearly every technician and scientist ran for the emergency exits. With them, he saw his last hope at completing this project leave as well. As he cursed their cowardice he looked back over at the screen to his console and saw something even more infuriating. The electronic locks keeping Logan restrained were starting to fail.

“Errrrrrrrrrrrrahhhhhhhhhh!” roared Logan as he thrashed more violently.

“No…not again!” exclaimed Dr. Cornelius, “Wolverine! You will not escape this time! You hear me?! You are mine! You are Weapon X!”

“I don’t think he’s listening doc,” growled Sabretooth, who emerged from behind the console, “And I’d step back if I were you.”

Dr. Cornelius refused to leave his specimen, but he had no choice. Another violent tremor sent him tumbling to the hard ground. He bumped his head in the process, nearly knocking him out. While he was dazed, the restraints on Wolverine failed. Sparks burst out from the metal shackles as he thrashed more violently. The veins in his neck and muscles bulged as growls of pure rage fueled his push for freedom. Then with a distinct snikt of his claws, the shackles broke and Wolverine burst free from his confines.

“RRRRAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” he howled in a rage.

“He’s out again! Shoot him! Take him down!” yelled the remaining guards.

“Here we go again,” snarled Sabretooth.

But with the tremors still going strong, the guards didn’t stand much of a chance. Logan pounced on the first armed guard he saw and tore into him with his adamantium claws. Pained cries quickly followed along with splatters of blood and mutilated flesh. He was in full berserker rage. Even as bullets ripped through his body, he raged on with merciless fury. Some guards wisely fled while others tried to defend themselves. One tried to shoot him in the face, blowing a good chunk of his skin off. Logan barely flinched, the bullet bouncing right off his forehead. Growling even louder, he literally decapitated the man where he stood. When two more tried to shoot him again, he ducked so they shot each other instead and finished them off by impaling them with his claws.

It was a bloody display. With feral rage and inhuman agility, he ripped through every guard in sight. He stabbed, slashed, and pummeled his way to vengeance. This wasn’t just about getting free. This was about making them pay. With the blood still dripping from his burly flesh, he set his sights on Dr. Cornelius, who lay helpless on the floor. This was the man who stole his life and tried to turn him into his personal meat puppet. For that he would be the focus of all his fury.

“YOU!!!” roared the Wolverine.