Showing posts with label Bryan Singer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bryan Singer. Show all posts

Friday, June 3, 2016

X-men: Apocalypse - A Strong and Fitting Finale

The following is my review of X-men: Apocalypse, which was posted on PopMatters.com.


Within the ever-evolving standards by which superhero movies are gauged, the X-men franchise has been on every end of the spectrum in terms of quality and relevance. This is fitting since, in many ways, the X-men launched the modern era of superhero movies in 2000. That first X-men movie acts as a bridge from the era of excessive camp in Batman and Robin to era of unshakable charm in Iron Man. For that reason, the X-men franchise will always have an important role in the history of superhero movies and cinema in general.

However, the standard that X-men sets in 2000 is not a standard that can apply to X-men: Apocalypse in 2016. Over a decade-and-a-half of maturation, evolution, and even regression at times makes a movie like this difficult to assess. On its own, it’s the capstone to a trilogy that began with X-men: First Class. In terms of the bigger picture, which encompasses the superhero genre as a whole, X-men: Apocalypse enters an era of cinema where the deck is stacked and the standards are exceedingly unfair. However, even within these circumstances, X-men: Apocalypse finds a way to succeed.

X-men: Apocalypse doesn’t attempt to reinvent the superhero movie. It doesn’t attempt to radically alter the formula for making a movie that entertains, inspires, and delights. It simply takes the formula, follows it to the letter, and lets the results speak for itself. Those results, even in a crowded market of heroes fighting heroes and villains acting as heroes, show in both the quality of the movie and the foundation it lays for the future.

Those who saw Captain America: Civil War and Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice will have a very different cinematic experience in X-men: Apocalypse. In 2016, it might be jarring because there are no heroes fighting each other and no Deadpool poking fun at overplayed superhero themes. In nearly any other year, going back to the Richard Donner era, this movie would check all the right boxes for a superhero movie and wouldn’t need to be graded on a curve. Even with such unreasonable standards, X-men: Apocalypse doesn’t shy away from the challenge.

It starts with a daunting threat in En Sabah Nur, the titular villain played by Oscar Isaac. On paper, he’s not a very complex villain. He doesn’t have the charisma of Tom Hiddleston’s Loki or Heath Ledger’s Joker. He’s basically the personification of Social Darwinism, the belief that the strong will survive and the weak must perish. It’s a simple personification and one that leaves precious little room for Isaac’s charisma, but it’s also perfectly consistent with every single iteration of Apocalypse, from the classic X-men comics to the ‘90s cartoon that inspired generations of X-men fans.


What X-men: Apocalypse does with its primary villain is the template for how the rest of this movie unfolds. It doesn’t try to reinvent Charles Xavier, Cyclops, or Jean Grey. At times, as is the case with Hugh Jackman’s brief cameo as Wolverine, it takes iconic moments right from the comics and brings them to life. These are moments presented in a way that has a distinct impact, even for those who have never read an X-men comic in their life.

It’s the complete opposite approach that Josh Trank used in the latest iteration of Fantastic Four. For X-men: Apocalypse, Director Bryan Singer and Producer Simon Kinberg focus on the elements of X-men that make it so iconic. It shows in everything from Apocalypse’s over-the-top personality to Jubilee’s sunglasses and yellow jacket. At times, X-men: Apocalypse feels like several episodes of the old ‘90s cartoon come to life. However, it manages to avoid falling into the same trap of excessive camp that destroyed Batman movies for a decade.


That’s not to say everything in X-men: Apocalypse stays true to the source material. Certain elements are entirely disconnected from the comics and have been since X-men: First Class. Jennifer Lawrence’s Mystique and Evan Peters’ Quicksilver are nothing like their comic or cartoon counterparts. In fact, they’re so different that they might as well be different characters altogether. Remarkably though, this actually improves the tone and themes of the movie.

The past 16 years of superhero movies are fraught with instances where following the comics storylines doesn’t always work. Technically, Roger Corman’s maligned and unreleased Fantastic Four movie is quite true to the source material. However, there are just as many instances, if not more, where ignoring the source material is detrimental, as every Deadpool fan who saw Wolverine: Origins can attest. The key is knowing when to deviate and X-men: Apocalypse follows the same deviations that the previous two movies established.

This means that Mystique is a complex character with motivations that don’t involve tormenting the X-men for reasons she never even tries to justify. This means that Quicksilver is a fun, entertaining, and likable character without a false accent. This means that Quicksilver can follow up follow up his show-stealing, speed scene from X-men: Days of Future Past with another show-stopping spectacle in this movie. These are elements that are entirely absent from the source material, but they work in X-men: Apocalypse because they provide something that the X-men mythos needs, but isn’t present in other mediums.

Singer and Kinberg pick and choose the elements of the source material to highlight and the elements to reject and overall, they choose wisely. The cast in X-men: Apocalypse is much richer than previous X-men movies. It doesn’t rely heavily on more obscure characters like Azazel, Darwin, or Angel Salvador. It reintroduces the X-men’s heavy hitters in Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Nightcrawler, who are given fresh life thanks to the acting talents of Tye Sherriden, Sophie Turner, and Kodi Smit-McPhee.

These are core characters to the X-men mythos. Without them, the X-men are missing a vital piece of their soul. Their presence and their portrayal help give X-men: Apocalypse the sense that it’s a complete X-men movie, not lacking in necessary elements nor trying to make up for them in other ways. It has all the ingredients and it makes use of them.

These ingredients include the continued dichotomy between Charles Xavier and Magneto, which retains the same complexity and constantly-shifting depth that began with Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen back in 2000. Both men have a vision for the mutant race. Both get opportunities to realize parts of that vision with Apocalypse acting as a catalyst. The clash of those visions, which forms the core of nearly every X-men movie that doesn’t involve Deadpool, brings out the core of what makes X-men work.


This core, along with the characters and themes around it, comprise only half the ingredients, though. The rest of X-men: Apocalypse succeeds or fails based on how those ingredients mesh in a plot. In this respect, the movie succeeds in every necessary way, but those looking for more advanced forms of success are just setting unreasonable expectations for a movie that doesn’t try to be more complex than it needs to be.

Apocalypse is the very antithesis of cunning and subtle. He doesn’t try to infiltrate or subvert his enemies. He’s the oldest, most powerful mutant who ever lived. He doesn’t have to resort to the tactics utilized by Hydra, Loki, or the Joker. He only has to use his power to influence and manipulate on a terrifying level that manifests in a massive spectacle that simply cannot be matched by civil wars or superhero brawls.

There is destruction. There is devastation. There is a conflict that consumes the entire planet, not just some airport in Germany or one generic American city. It’s over-the-top and excessive at times, but it’s also entirely appropriate for Apocalypse. What makes it work are the details behind the destruction. The way the young X-men get caught up in this conflict, the way Charles Xavier and Magneto’s visions clash, and the way the final confrontation unfolds all forge a plot that is concise, quick-paced, and coherent.

Not a frame is wasted. Every scene has a purpose. Every moment aids in the progression of the story. While that progression is rushed at times, the plot never gets derailed or chaotic. It never becomes overly elaborate or excessively dense. In a superhero movie built around destruction and spectacle, this is both an accomplishment and a necessity.

That’s not to say there aren’t some elements that slip through the cracks. X-men: Apocalypse employs a long list of iconic X-men characters. Not all of them get a chance to shine, but even those who don’t, such as Psylocke and Angel, don’t have their potential wasted or nullified. For these characters, X-men: Apocalypse is a teaser of sorts, showing off what they can do. For the brief moments they have, they do it well and leave the door open for future opportunities in other X-men movies.

It’s because of these elements that X-men: Apocalypse is unique in that it will confirm the bias of anyone who sees it with a specific intent. Those who are eager to hate it or are burned out on superhero movies can find a reason to not enjoy it. Those who are eager to embrace its excessive fan service and over-the-top spectacle will be able to do so. However, to hate X-men: Apocalypse requires a certain amount of short-sightedness.

What makes X-men: Apocalypse a landmark accomplishment for the X-men franchise has little to do with how it puts together a story and more to do with avoiding mistakes. When assessing the movie in this respect, there’s a certain context to consider when comparing it to other movies in the franchise. Those considerations include the following:

  • Does this movie callously kill off major characters off-panel and never mention them again? No, it doesn’t.
  • Does this movie include plot details that are wholly inconsistent with the timeline established by other movies? No, it doesn’t.
  • Does this movie make egregious changes to a character, such as sewing Deadpool’s mouth shut? No, it doesn’t.
  • Does this movie completely undermine iconic moments in the X-men mythos, such as Rogue choosing to cure her mutation or Jean Grey forcing someone to kill her instead of making a heroic sacrifice? No, it doesn’t.
  • Does this movie attempt to hide the more colorful visuals of the mythos by making things more real and gritty? No, it doesn’t.
While the lack of flaws don’t necessarily make a movie great, they certainly give a movie a level of polish when seen in the context of its predecessors. X-men: Apocalypse has a level of polish that no X-men movie has achieved to date. It tells a concise, complete story with beloved, iconic characters through a cast of talented, charismatic actors. It checks all the right boxes and even includes a few bonuses, despite leaving a few holes for the cynical to exploit.

Even without the context of other X-men movies, X-men: Apocalypse stands as a complete, concise superhero movie. Singer and Kinberg finally assemble all the right ingredients and cook them in all the right ways. It’s fitting that a franchise built on the concept of mutation must undergo the chaotic and unforgiving process of natural selection to find something that works. X-men: Apocalypse, both as a superhero movie and a cinematic spectacle, works in ways that even the most ardent Social Darwinist cannot deny.

Final Score: 8 out of 10

Monday, April 25, 2016

X-Men: Apocalypse Final Trailer [HD] - Snikt Motherfucker!

Just one month left! One month until we find out once and for all whether Fox can make an X-men movie that doesn't suck and doesn't rely on Ryan Reynolds' insane dedication to making a Deadpool movie. There are a lot of ways Fox can fuck this up. They've done it in the past and it's unreasonable to think they won't do it again. But I'm feeling a bit more upbeat and maybe a bit high. I'm willing to give any movie a chance that has Jennifer Lawrence, Sophie Turner, Alexandra Shipp, and Oscar Issac a chance to be awesome. The final trailer came out today and it even offers something that might give it some extra awesome to compete with Disney, aliens, and ninja turtles. One word people. Snikt!


Oh Hugh, I'm going to miss you. I think I speak for a lot of X-men fans and horny housewives when I say we are so going to miss you. Nuff said!

Saturday, December 12, 2015

X-MEN: APOCALYPSE Official Trailer: Apocalyptic Odds

In the old X-men Animated Series, also known as the GREATEST CARTOON EVER, Apocalypse had one line that best summed up what an evil badass he was. He said this:

"There is no freedom from me. There is only freedom through me!"

THAT'S Apocalypse. That's who he is. Of all the complex villains in X-men history, he's probably the most basic. He's a mutant with god-like power, a god-like ego, and a god-like grudge against the weak. Surely, Fox is incapable of fucking up a movie with a character like this. I want to believe it. But time and again, Fox has proven that they're capable of fucking up any character. Just ask Dr. Doom.

That said, I do concede that Fox has done a better job minimizing their fuck-ups with X-men than it has Fantastic Four. I think Bryan Singer is a douche, but he's WAY better than Josh Trank. Pretty sure that shit is beyond dispute.

Singer indirectly admitted he let shit get really fucked up in the X-men movies when he left to make Superman a deadbeat dad when he rebooted the entire X-men canon in X-men: Days of Future Past. Pretty much everything from that movies is now as meaningful as David Hasselhoff's music career. It's probably for the best. Aside from Mystique running around naked, those movies were basically an elaborate circle jerk of stories centered around Wolverine whining about a woman he never got to fuck.

Fox now has a clean slate to work with. They shit all over the clean slate they had with Fantastic Four. Now, this might be their last chance to prove they can't fuck it up. And the trailer finally came out this past week, minus Ivan Ooze. So will it work? Will Singer avoid Trank's mistakes? I don't know. All I know is that Sophie Turner looks fucking gorgeous.


Even if this movie finds a way NOT to suck, the cards are already stacked against it. X-men Apocalypse isn't just battling other Marvel movies next summer. It also has to deal with Batman v. Superman and Independence Day as competition. And Marvel has proven time and again that even their sub-par movies beat the shit out of Fox's best. This is a movie destined to get swallowed up by the collective efforts of the Justice League, the Avengers, and Jeff Goldbloom. So put on some adamantium-coated underwear, X-men fans. It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Deadpool Official Sneak Peek #1 (2016) - Ryan Reynolds Movie HD

Ryan Reynolds was once on top of the world. He was an A-list star, a Hollywood hot guy, and married to Scarlett Johanssan. Then, shit just started going wrong in so many ways. And I'm not just talking about the Green Lantern movie. Reynolds has a lot of crap in his career that he may never live down. Barakapool will be one of those things is one of them. But with an R-rated Deadpool movie set to come out in 2016, I like to think he's on the road to recovery. Today, that road begins with the teaser trailer to the Deadpool movie that we've all wanted, but Wolverine Origins denied us.


Will it make Wolverine Origins suck any less? No. But will it help make up for it? If it's awesome, fuck yes. Nuff said!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

X-men Days of Futures Past Trailer - Needless Hope

I don't claim to be without flaws. I know my flaws are long enough to earn me a spot on the Jerry Springer All-Pro team, but I don't minimize my major flaws or trivialize my numerous minor flaws. I like to think that I'm an honest drunk. And because of that, I get pissed off at people who think their biggest flaw is some contrived bullshit that can't be used to beat them over the head. So naturally, I'm extremely pissed off at the X-men movies.

I've already made my sentiment about these movies painfully clear on this blog. I despise them on a scale that would make Uatu the Watcher shit himself in awe. I could do several blogs listing all the ways the X-men movies suck worse than anything Joel Shumacher could ever produce. There's the bullshit characterization, the shitty character deaths, the piss poor pacing, the horribly underdeveloped relationships, bad acting on the part of otherwise awesome actors, and stories that take a big steaming shit on some of the most iconic comics of all time. The X-men movies actually did something that I thought was impossible. They turned Wolverine into a total fucking pussy despite Hugh Jackman doing everything he could to look badass enough for the part. And any X-men story turns the one of the most badass characters in all of fiction into a whiney pussy who gets all weepy over a woman he barely fucking knows for a few days deserves to be treated with the same contempt as that asshole kid in grade school who likes to take a shit in other kids' backpacks. That guy knows who he is and we know why we should hate him.

But it's not enough that the X-men movies took a massive shit on the Phoenix Saga, also known as the greatest X-men story ever told. Now Bryan Singer is back and may potentially take an equally massive shit on Days of Futures Past, also known as the second greatest X-men story ever told. He's already given the finger to the source material, once again making fucking Wolverine the central character that goes back in time instead of Kitty Pryde. I guess Singer forgot how badly that worked out when X3 tried to shove Wolverine into Cyclops's role with the Phoenix Saga. He probably thinks that he can thrust Wolverine into more places than a lesbian sex addict ina dildo factory and past movies have shown that the results are more fucked than a used condom at Ron Jeremy's house. While this movie is being billed as a soft reboot of sorts in an effort to fix X3 while not admitting that anyone fucked up, I have very little hope for it.

None the less, a trailer has finally come out. And in this trailer, "hope" is billed as the most important component to the X-men movies. "We need you to hope again" is somehow supposed to be all it takes to make the X-men movies not suck. I say that adding hope to these movies is like trying to take a piss to put out a forest fire. It just isn't enough.


This trailer doesn't change my conclusion. It's basically a bunch of flat characters with iconic names being thrust into a story that is going to be centered around making Wolverine the focus of fucking everything with Charles Xavier and Magneto playing minor supporting roles. But that's just the sentiment of a drunken lifelong comic book fan. I'm sure this shit will make a fuckton of money and it'll be declared a success, no matter how many people it pisses off. That's by far the biggest flaw. I'm sorry young burned out 70s Charles Xavier, but hope just isn't going to cut it. Nuff said!

Friday, June 14, 2013

Superman: Man of Steel REVIEW - A Bold (and Awesome) New Superman


For the past 25 years, the world of comics and movies have given a giant middle finger to heroes in favor of the constantly lactating tit that is the anti-hero. The ideals and morals of true heroes like Superman have been deemed "uncool" by the Illuminati or some cynical shit like that and now people love Batman, Wolverine, Iron Man, X-men, and Watchmen. These anti-heroes are not the kind of people that we would want to associate with in real life. These are not the kind of people that we teach our kids to be like. Yeah, they may save the day, but they also drink heavily, lust after married women, break the law, kill people, and generally act like complete assholes.

In fact, it's gotten to the point where I can count all the true heroes on one hand. There's Superman. There's Goku. There's Optimus Prime from Transformers. But that's it. I would include Captain America in that group, but after events like Avengers vs. X-men and Civil War he doesn't deserve to be in that category anymore. Hell, he doesn't even deserve to buff the dings out of Optimus Prime's ass. That's why I was so excited to see a new Superman movie. It's not that I'm burned out on anti-heroes. But I think there's still a place for real heroes in this world where being good, upstanding, and moral is now "uncool" for some reason and being a fucking asshole is a virtue. And if the S on Superman's chest is supposed to stand for hope, then this movie does a great job of reminding people of that hope.

Let me get this out of the way first. Superman: Man of Steel is awesome. It is by far the most awesome movie I have seen this year. It's better than Iron Man 3. Hell, it's better than the first two Iron Man movies, the Green Lantern movie, the Captain America movie, the Thor movie, and every single X-men movie (although that may not be saying much since all those movies sucked). The only movie that is on the same level is Avengers and this movie is awesome for the same reasons that Avengers is awesome.

Superman: Man of Steel doesn't try to reinvent Superman's 75-year-old story. Watching this movie, you will see the same story that people have known for nearly a century. But this movie has a number of changes. The reason Krypton failed is somewhat different, but similar. The life of Clark Kent growing up in Smallville is somewhat different, but similar. The big threat posed by General Zod is somewhat different, but similar. Seeing a pattern here? Director Zack Snyder walked a fine line between changing Superman and respecting the source material. Some of those changes are really trivial. Perry White is black, played by Morpheus himself, Lawrence Fishburne. Jimmy Olson had a sex change and is now Jenny Olson. But some changes are a lot more substantive.

SPOILER ALERT


SPOILER ALERT

The biggest change has to do with Lois Lane. She's not just Superman's love interest if you can believe that. She's not just his human foil either. Lois Lane in this movie has more balls than Wolverine had in any of the X-men movies (again, not saying much). She also figures out who Superman is very early on. He never had to keep his identity from her. She knows because...well, she's a damn good reporter. And good reporters figure this sort of shit out. In fact, it makes you think that Lois Lane was completely inept at her job for not figuring it out sooner. But this shows that she's both resourceful and skilled, someone who you actually feel is worthy of Superman's love. No one else reaches out to him the way Lois does. Also, he didn't knock her up and leave the planet. Sorry, I just had to throw in another big fuck you to Bryan Singer.

Go back to blowing Joel Shumacher.

Beyond Lois, another big change is Krypton itself. Superman isn't exactly the last of his kind in this movie. We already knew from the trailers that General Zod was the big bad guy and not Lex fucking Luthor this time (although Lexcorp is mentioned in an easter egg). But Zod also had an army of fellow Kryptonian exiles that were all loyal to him and dedicated to beating Superman to a pulp. It was actually the first time in a Superman movie where he looked truly overwhelmed. And he was. He actually couldn't defeat them without help from the human race.

And this is the biggest and best change to the Superman mythos. Superman himself is not all power. He's not the one that comes in and saves the day in this movie. He actually teams up with the human race. Hell, even the military folks help him. Yeah, they act like assholes at first, but without them the world becomes Zod's personal toilet. Both the military and Lois Lane are instrumental in saving the world. And the point isn't just that Superman is powerful enough to save the day. The point is that Superman will always make the right decision, even when it's the hard decision. And that's who Superman is supposed to be.

This was still a dick move, but Superman didn't hold it against them.
Beyond just the changes, this movie is very nicely detailed. The motivations and emotions are thoroughly vetted of not just Superman, but all the characters. General Zod is not just a tyrannical douche in this movie. He wants to restore the home he lost. He's a proud Kryptonian. That's not inherently evil unless you bring Nazi metaphors into the mix. And the reason why Krypton as a planet failed is thoroughly vetted too. It's not the same as it was in previous movies or in the comics, but it shows an attention to detail that you don't always see in a comic book movie. And yes, I'm looking at YOU the Dark Knight Rises.

There details extend to some flashbacks of Superman's childhood. It's not exactly like Smallville, but it once again shows that the Kent's are the reason why Superman is who he is. There were some truly emotional moments where Superman learned from his parents the importance of doing the right thing and making hard choices. That all played out later in the story and later in his life in a perfectly harmonious way. It makes this movie somewhat long at times, but every minute is gripping and it fits into a coherent whole. In the same way that I value comics that take the time to make sense, I put this movie on a higher pedestal because it makes sense.

Now I get there are criticisms to this movie. Rotten Tomatoes actually rated this movie lower than Superman Returns. But I say fuck you Rotten Tomatoes! Too much CGI? Who gives a shit! Too much Michael Bay style action? Who gives a shit? It's entertaining! It tells a coherent story! Yes, it's a story we're all familiar with. And yes, it's not as campy as previous Superman movies. And why should it be? It's not grim and gritty. The whole movie is centered around hope and doing the right thing. And it succeeds. If you somehow have a problem with that, then you're not being an intelligent critic. You're just being a douche-bag.

Please take this to heart, motherfucker.
Superman: Man of Steel isn't just a reboot. It's a bold new Superman for a new era. This isn't the same world from which Superman was created. It's not 1938. But this movie shows that there is still a place for the ideals that Superman represents. He, like the symbol on his chest, represents hope. Now Jor-El himself said in the movie that humanity would stumble behind that ideal, but in time we would join Superman in achieving wonderful things. That's a very real message that is a lot better than messages from other movies like Batman can get away with anything, Iron Man can built a suit to make up for the fact that he's an asshole, and Wolverine can be a cold-blooded killer yet still be a hero. None of those movies convey that ideal that Superman represents. When you see this movie, you see the hope that is that ideal for which we should all strive. Not all of us can reach it, but its mere presence is like a beacon of hope that is every bit as powerful as Superman himself.

When this movie was over, I walked out of the theater feeling every bit as satisfied as I felt when I walked out of the Avengers movie. Superman: Man of Steel is more than just another superhero movie. It takes a classic story that we all know and love and reminds us of why we love it. Superman: Man of Steel gets a 5 out of 5 and my highest recommendation. I may be an X-men fan and a lifelong Marvel fan, but I'm not afraid to admit that this movie touched me as both a comic book fan and just a fan in general. Superman is and will always be the standard by which all other heroes and anti-heroes are measured. And if you don't like, then you can go kiss his Kryptonian ass. Nuff said!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

The Wolverine Trailer (And Why Movie Wolverine Is A Total Pussy)

It happened again today. Another trailer for another upcoming X-men movie came out. For me, that means one of two things. First, it means the executives at Fox are low on money for blow and hookers. Second, it means I need to stock up on hard liquor, weed, and Valium because every bit of news regarding X-men movies has made me want to shove C4 up my urethra, swallow several sticks of dynamite, and jump into a live volcano. But this is a blog about X-men and I wouldn't be a very responsible drunk of I didn't do a post about it.

First off, we already know what to expect with The Wolverine. If you've seen Batman Begins, you're not missing anything. Wolverine has suffered a huge loss, he's gone emo, he ditches the world he knows to find meaning, and ends up getting help from some stereotypical Asian guys. But unlike Batman, Wolverine does it in a way that somehow makes one of the most badass characters in the history of Marvel comics into a total pussy.

Let me start off by saying that I know I'm in the minority here. I am among those few X-men fans who absolutely hates the X-men movies. And I'm not just talking about Brett fucking Ratner or fucking Barakapool. I fucking hate Bryan Singer's movies. Yes, I know his movies paved the way for comic book movies everywhere. I know he's regularly praised for his brilliance and I do concede that he's done some great shit. I will gladly kiss his ass for the rest of my days for The Usual Suspects and House. But he's a fucking dipshit when it comes to comic book movies and he took X-men and butt-fucked it to a a point where the only good X-men movie we can get is X-men First Class, a movie that he was never involved in and didn't use his precious Wolverine.

This trailer in many ways highlights why Singer's X-men movies suck donkey balls and why there's no reason to hope that Days of Futures Past will be any better. First off, let's look at movie Wolverine and compare him to his comic counterpart. In the movies Wolverine meets up with the X-men, makes friends with Rogue, flirts with Jean, but then ditches the team at the end of the first movie. He comes back in the second movie, basically does jack shit aside from throw temper tantrums, tries to bone Jean Grey again, and basically distracts from every single side-plot. And in X3, he's supposed to now be teaching the team. He tries to bone Jean Grey again, but only ends up having to murder her ass and fails to keep Cyclops and Xavier from getting killed. And what does he do after all this tragedy? Well according to this trailer and the other trailer, he fucking leaves!

That's right. At a time when the X-men have lost Charles Xavier and two of the most capable X-men, he fucking up and leaves! And why? Because he's still pining for Jean Grey? Well here's one major detail that separates his boner for Jean in the movies compared to the comics. He knew Jean Grey for only a few days. I need to emphasize this. HE KNEW JEAN GREY FOR ONLY A FEW FUCKING DAYS! He left at the end of X1. She died at the end of X2 shortly after he returned. And she returned in X3 just so he could kill her. Yet somehow she's now the love of his fucking life? Never mind that they never got to hook up in the comics outside of AUs and never mind that she fucking married Cyclops, who was basically killed off to make room for Wolverine. How the fuck is Jean suddenly this epic love affair with Wolverine when he didn't even know the first thing about her? I mean look at X1 and X2. He had more screen time with Rogue than he did with Jean and now in this trailer he's having a vision of her? That's the kind of shit we expect from Edward Cullen. Not Wolverine.

On top of that, I need to reiterate something else. He fucking ditched the X-men at the end of X3! They are probably hurting a great deal after so many deaths, but he doesn't see fit to stick around and help? He just goes all emo and runs off to Japan? Since when the fuck did Wolverine, the badass hero who was supposed to have a sense of honor, get so sensitive that he just ditches a bunch of young mutants who need him badly because of some woman he barely fucking knew?! That's not badass. That's not just a dick move either. That's just being a flat out pissant little bitch!

Compare that with recent events in the comics. Professor Charles Xavier and Jean Grey died too. But in the comics, Wolverine actually stuck around and developed a close personal relationship with both. And when they did die with Jean in Planet X and Xavier in Avengers vs. X-men, he didn't fucking leave. He stayed with the X-men and became a leader even though he knows he's not good at it. Just read his fucking speech in Uncanny Avengers #1. That's fucking Wolverine. If that Wolverine met his movie version and found out that he just ditched the X-men, he wouldn't just murder his ass. He would piss on the remains.

Don't get me wrong. I love Hugh Jackman. I love Femke Jenssen. But the characters they played were fucked. Wolverine was a total fucking pussy. And Jean Grey in the movies was nothing more than a walking dick warmer for Wolverine that he never got to try out. And yet we're somehow supposed to respect him as this badass? I would respect a fucking Kardashian before I respect someone like that!

And I do blame Bryan Singer. He's the one who got the ball rolling on this shitty incarnation of Wolverine. He's the one who basically turned the X-men movies into glorified Wolverine movies and nothing more. And now he's the one trying to turn another epic X-men story, Days of Futures Past, into a movie. I have absolutely no confidence in him, nor do I have confidence in the future of X-men movies. I believe the only way this could ever be fixed is if Days of Futures Past becomes to X-men what Batman and Robin was to Batman movies. Bryan Singer needs to become the new Joel Shumacher so that he will never be allowed to touch another X-men movie, or comic book movie, until the end of time. He's already bombed on Jack the Giant Killer. Just one more bomb and he can be done with this shit so someone else can take over. At this point, I would give Joel Shumacher another shot at directing a comic book movie than I would Bryan Singer.

I get that this drunken rant is just that. A rant. I also know that Byran Singer is never going to read this shit and neither is Hugh Jackman or anyone at Fox. But I'm just putting it out there. Singer's X-men movies suck! His Wolverine sucks! His Jean Grey sucks! And this movie and Days of Futures Past is destined to suck if he keeps doing the same shit. And until that changes, I have no hope that we can ever have a decent X-men movie in the way. Instead, we're only going to be stuck with shit like this.

Nuff said!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Wolverine Trailer - Blood, Babes, and Ninjas

I have a love-hate relationship with the X-men movies and by that I mean I love it when I'm not reminded of how much I hated how these movies were butchered. Of all the comic book movies and yes, I'm including the Dolph Lungern Punisher and Nicholas Cage's Ghost Rider, I found the X-men movies to be the most disappointing. It's one thing to be underwhelmed by a movie. It's quite another to feel like you just had a quart of molten iron shoved up your ass. That's how I feel about the X-men movies.

And I'm not just talking about X3 and Wolverine "Who the fuck came up with Barakapool?" Origins. It's blasphemy among some fans, but I think Singer fucked the dead donkey with his approach to X1 and X2. His approach was basically fuck the comics. Just make use the characters and try to leech off the inherent awesome of Patrick Stewart and Hugh Jackman. As much as I love those two, that shit only goes so far in a movie. You actually have to have a fucking story and unless your Michael Bay, that story has to have some sort of meaning to it. The X-men movies didn't really have that. Wolverine just falls in love with some chick he knows for less than a few days, Nightcrawler completely fucking disappears after one movie, and Rogue proves that you can solve all your problems with drugs. Real fucking genuine, Singer! Maybe you should piss off Spider-Man fans by having Doc Ock take over Peter's body! Oh wait...bad example.

But like a guy who keeps waking up hung over at an S&M club in Amsterdam, I keep coming back for more. Matthew Vaughn's X-men First Class actually proved that an X-men movie can still work. It took a novel approach of actually telling a story that the comics never even bothered to tell until recently, namely the history of the friendship between Xavier and Magneto. It still had some pretty fucked up twists on certain characters, but it also had Emma Frost and a naked Mystique so that's a win in my book. Now Fox hopes to capture that same magic with The Wolverine.

Granted, the bar is NOT that high. You could just have two hours of Hugh Jackman taking a shit and eating a burger and it would still be better than fucking Barakapool. It's based on one of the best eras of Wolverine comics, namely the Chis Claremont and Frank Miller run in the 80s that had Wolverine in Japan. It's a defining story for Wolverine and one that has everything you could want in a movie. There's ninjas, hot chicks, and more violence than a drunk Chris Brown at a strip club. It also has Hugh fucking Jackman. This movie has no excuse not to be awesome and this trailer shows that if Fox fucks this up somehow, then they're beyond redemption. Nuff said!


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Newsarama Update: What We Know About "X-men Days of Futures Past"


It's been a while since I talked about anything related to the X-men movies. I sort of have to because anytime I start talking about X-men movies I black out and wake up face down on my kitchen floor with all my booze gone and a stabbing pain in my ass. That's what happens when Fox and Marvel collectively gangbang the movies into oblivion with shit like X3 and Wolverine Origins. I mean what the fuck were they on when they came up with fucking Barakapool? There are some drugs that even I won't touch and that would be one of them.

But whether this shit kills my liver or not, it doesn't change the fact that these movies make a fuckton of money and Odin knows that the big wigs at Fox and Marvel can never have enough imported blow. While X-men First Class was an upgrade purely because it didn't follow any of the shit storms kicked up by the previous movies, Bryan Singer is looking to take it a step further with X-men First Class: Days of Futures Past. He's looking to do the exact opposite of what Brett Ratner did and NOT fuck up one of the most beloved stories in the history of X-men. That shouldn't sound too hard on paper, but given how Singer himself says he hated X3 he knows he's got a lot of unfucking to do.

Nope. Still not enough to undo X3. Nice try though.
Thankfully, Singer appears to be pulling out all the stops. He's not just bringing the X-men First Class crew back into the fold. He's bringing in other X-men veterans like Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian "Gandalf" McKellen. Apparently, the X-men alumni are just as eager to put X3 behind them as the rest of the universe. It's making for a crowded movie with a ton of star power who will likely be fighting for screen time, bonuses, and Eastern European hookers. As such, Newsarama recently did a nice article compiling everything we know so far about this movie. And after reading it, I've concluded we still don't know jack shit.

Newsarama: What We Know About X-men: Days of Futures Past

X-Men: Days of Future Past is a little under 18 months away, and director Bryan Singer is announcing casting news via his Twitter account on a regular basis, with what feels like everyone who showed up for a frame in the first few X-Men movies returning for this one.
So let's take a look at what we know so far, along with a little bit of speculation as to what could be next. 

WHO'S IN

A lot of people.

No, seriously: Days of Future Past is effectively of a direct sequel to 2011's X-Men: First Class, so it's not a shock that much of the main cast from the '60s-set film — Michael Fassbender (Magneto), James McAvoy (Charles Xavier), Jennifer Lawrence (Mystique) and Nicholas Hoult (Beast) — are all back. 

But the time traveling nature of Days of Future Past means that a lot of the contemporary X-Men from the original three films — the first two directed by Singer, and the third by Brett Ratner — are also returning. Hugh Jackman will play Wolverine for the seventh time (counting his memorable First Class cameo), and Ian McKellen (modern-day Magneto) and Patrick Stewart (modern-day Xavier) are also on board, according to Singer.

This past weekend, three more X-alumni were added to the already large Days of Future Past cast: Anna Paquin (Rogue), Shawn Ashmore (Iceman) and Ellen Page (Kitty Pryde). The latter's inclusion seems especially notable, given the important part that Kitty Pryde played in the "Days of Future Past" comic book story that serves as inspiration to the film.

Though that's already a lot of X-Men, there's no indication that Singer is stopping here. Someone like James Marsden (Cyclops), who's playing a big role in the 30 Rock wrap-up, sure seems like a possibility given his importance to the franchise, but there's been no word yet on his involvement. (And yeah, his character died in The Last Stand, but a) time travel, and b) X-Men characters have been known to come back from the dead once or twice.) 

Halle Berry (Storm) may seem like a long-shot to return for what is likely a small part, but she is one of the many big names in Movie 43, so really anything is possible. Rebecca Romijn — the original movie Mystique — had a quick First Class appearance, so no reason to count her out, either.

There's even been word that Alan Cumming, who appeared in 2003's X2: X-Men United as Nightcrawler but did not return for The Last Stand, is interested in returning.

"Enough time has elapsed that I would like to go back to it," Cumming was quoted by NME via ComingSoon.net. "I haven't gotten the call. Someone told me that Nightcrawler doesn't appear in the story but I don't know, I think they would have called by now."

Also in the "no word either way" category: Kelsey Grammer, The Last Stand's Beast (but with younger Beast confirmed to be playing a role, maybe?); and plenty of First Class cast members like Caleb Landy Jones (Banshee), Lucas Till (Havok) and Zoë Kravitz (Angel Salvadore)

Also, hey: Along with the bonanza of returning characters, it's likely that the movie will introduce a couple of new-to-movie characters, right? Purely speculating here, but given the nature of the story, might noted time-travelers Cable or Bishop be a possibility? Or maybe Rachel Summers — a product of the "Days of Future Past" comic book story?

WHO'S OUT

Inevitably, a few X-Men wont be in Days of Future Past (as unlikely as that may seem right now). It's looking at this point that Famke Janssen, who played Jean Grey in the first three movies, is not planned to return. In a recent interview with Collider promoting Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Janssen said, "If you run into Bryan Singer, just tell him I’ve been sitting by the phone, I’ve been hearing rumors of all these people getting cast; what about me? I’m waiting." 

Yet there have been multiple reports that Janssen will cameo as Jean Grey in this year's The Wolverine, so don't count her out yet. (Yes, she also died in The Last Stand. It's Jean Grey we're talking about.) 

January Jones also doesn't seem optimistic about a Days of Future Past role — quoted by MovieWeb as saying "I don't think Emma [Frost]'s in this one" — news likely to please the many fans less than enthused by her performance in First Class.

WHAT'S THE STORY?

Days of Future Past is one of the most famous X-Men stories of all time, originally appearing in 1981's Uncanny X-Men #141-#142. It presents a bleak alternate future where most of the X-Men are dead, and mutants are hunted even worse than they are in the mainstream Marvel timeline. 

It's all because the X-Men failed to stop the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, led by Mystique, from killing the anti-mutant Senator Robert Kelly. That caused all sorts of major problems for homo superior, and prompted the adult "Kate" Pryde to transports her mind back in time into her younger body to warn the X-Men about the consequences of the assassination. The story also served as the introduction of Rachel Summers, the alternate future daughter of Cyclops and Jean Grey that remains an important part of current X-Men comics.

In a newly published interview with Empire, Singer made it clear that time travel is an important part of his story, and that he even consulted with James Cameron. 

"You have to create your rules and stick with them," Singer told the UK film magazine. "That's why Terminator and Back To The Future work so well. And there are certain mechanisms in X-Men, certain powers, perceptions and characters, that make this possible."

Singer also made clear that the movie will indeed take cues from the comic, albeit in a way that makes sense for the format.

"It has a lot of aspects of the comic," Singer said. "The actual comic of Days Of Future Past had a whole ton of stuff going on, so it’s like any of these things; you have to distill it. But I think the fans will be pleased that some of the most exciting parts of Days Of Future Past are going to be connected to this movie."

Comic book superstar Mark Millar is a creative consultant on Fox's Marvel movies, and a few months back implied that the movie will have something important to the "Days of Future Past" comic book story but not yet really seen in the movies: Sentinels, the giant mutant-hunting robots long a part of X-Men lore.

“You've got robots, you've got time travel, you've got superheroes," Millar said in an interview with SFX. "It's got everything in one film."

At the time, Matthew Vaughn — the director of First Class — was still scheduled to direct Days of Future Past, so any or all of that may no longer apply. Speaking of Vaughn, back in 2011, he spoke with HitFix about his speculative plans for a First Class sequel. (Keep in mind that First Class took place in 1962 during the Cuban Missile Crisis, 13 months before John F. Kennedy was assassinated.)

"I've got some ideas for the opening for the next film," Vaughn said. "I thought it would be fun to open with the Kennedy Assassination, and we reveal that the magic bullet was controlled by Magneto.  That would explain the physics of it, and we see that he's pissed off because Kennedy took all the credit for saving the world and mutants weren't even mentioned."

Though Vaughn is no longer directing the film, now that we know Days of Future Past is the inspiration of the film, could it be that it's not Robert Kelly's assassination that the X-Men are trying to foil, but rather a much less fictional politician?

It's just speculation for now, but at the rate things are going, we'll likely learn a lot more about Days of Future Past between now and its scheduled July 18, 2014 release date. 
So what are we to make of this information? Fuck if I know. I still abide by the drunken logic that the only way X-men movies can ever be made palpable again is if X3 and Wolverine Origins is completely rebooted and denied like the moon landings for the rest of eternity. Days of Futures Past might be a way to actually accomplish that, but doing so might just make too much sense. The X-men movies are notorious for giving the source material a big middle finger. X2 was the only time they actually managed to get away with it partially, but more often than not Fox and Marvel eventually fuck it up. And I'm going to keep assuming they'll do that with Days of Futures Past until proven otherwise. Nuff said!

Friday, February 11, 2011

X-men First Class Trailer - Just Because

I know I've been among the most cynical when it comes to X-men movies. My eyes still haven't recovered from the cocaine fueled gang-rape that was X3. I've been completely repulsed by the every concept of an X-men movie ever since. But seeing as how people still go to see them, Marvel and Fox are naturally going to keep making them. Now a while back I went on a long rant over the news that X-men First Class wouldn't actually contain the First Class. Maybe I'm weird, but when you call something X-men First Class why not actually follow it? There's a term for calling a movie a name just to evoke a certain response. That term is being a dick.

Whatever the bullshit surrounding the premise of a movie titled X-men First Class, Marvel and Fox are actually going through with it. They have to. They need to keep making X-men movies or they lose the rights. That means they don't have to worry about quality. So long as people see them it doesn't mean shit. That's Hollywood for you. But rather than go on another rant, I'll leave it up to the viewers to decide. If you can watch the X-men First Class trailer without being reminded of the horrors of X3, I envy you.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Official: Jon Favreau Drops Out of Iron Man 3

I know it's been a while since I posted movie news of any kind. It's not like there's nude oil wrestling going on in the comic movie department. It's all been standard. Marvel Studios is doing well, the stage is set for the Avengers movie, and the cast and supporting films are coming together. Then yesterday someone dropped a bomb that will make some fans shit their pants. Jon Favreau, the guy who brought Iron Man to life on the big screen in a way that was fifteen different kinds of awesome, has dropped out of directing Iron Man 3.

CBR: CONFIRMED - Jon Favreau Passes on Iron Man 3

This is big news because many comic fans have been down this road before. A director comes on board and brings an iconic comic series to life in an awesome way. The first two movies are epic, wetting the appetites of all those who seek comic book awesome. Then when the time comes around to commit to a third movie, the director pulls out faster than a high school football star from an under-aged cheerleader when her homicidal dad starts banging on the bedroom door. The result is a third movie that isn't just sub-par. It sucks elephant balls and gargles rhinoceros jizz.

Case and point, the movie that dare not speak it's name to X-men fans (X3). Bryan Singer was so generous. He gave us two fantastic movies that brought the X-men to life in a new way. Then he jumps ship on X3 so he can make a shitty Superman movie that turns the world's most iconic hero into a deadbeat dad. And we're left with Brett fucking Ratner, a guy about as qualified to do a comic book movie as he is fly the space shuttle. The result was a movie that pissed off comic fans so much that effigies of Ratner are still being burned. His name is now so tainted that if he comes within 50 feet of an X-men property comic fans are legally entitled to throw rocks at his balls. This guy destroyed the X-men series. The films that followed X3 have declined in quality faster than a Tuna sandwich kept near a radiator in the basement. So what's that say about Iron Man 3?

It's been a long standing rule since the Godfather trilogy. When the first two movies are good, chances are the third will be terrible. There are very few exceptions and usually the chances are better when the same director stays aboard. Spider-Man 3 wasn't a masterpiece, but it sucked way less compared to X3. Now Iron Man has a tough mountain to climb. History is working against it. Fate is not on the side of awesome. It will take some time to see how it comes together, but comic fans everywhere have reason to worry. Nuff said.

Monday, August 23, 2010

X-men First Class Details - Officially Shit

Well after months of speculation, some details about the upcoming X-men First Class movie have finally emerged. It's been a fucked up couple of weeks with new cast members being used that seem like someone opened up a Marvel Dictionary, got a secretary piss faced drunk, spun her around on a chair, and then had her randomly point out characters to use. That list now includes C and D-listers like Darwin, Banshee, Havok, Angel Salvador, and Azazel (Nightcrawlers father) along with more established names like Magneto, Mystique, and Professor Xavier. All the while there has been intense speculation on who will play Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Storm. Because seriously, you can't have a movie called X-men First Class with the characters most associated with the First Class right?

WRONG SHITHEAD!

Those are Singer's (implied) words, not mine. With filming set to begin next month, Singer finally spilled on the details and some of them may disgust fans about half as much as X3 while requiring the others who actually see this movie to have a blood-alcohol content of no less than .15 in order to make it through. Here are some tidbits from an interview by Screenrant.


  • X-Men: First Class is not like the “X-Men: First Class” comics, hence the significant character differences.
  • It takes place in the 1960s where Kennedy is still president.
  • Equality and racism are key issues with Martin Luther King and Malcolm X dominating mainstream media with the Civil Rights movement (foreshadowing (even mirroring) the mutant situation to come).
  • Director Matthew Vaughn is very interested in the setting and what Singer describes as the “James Bond tech of the time”, as Harry puts it.
  • Shooting will begin with Charles Xavier attending Oxford University.
  • We’ll get to see classic X-Men costumes, much more similar to the comics than we’ve seen in previous movies.
  • The movie will be the franchise’s most international yet, with shooting taking place in the U.S. and England, and the story also involving at least The Soviet Union as well.
  • We’ll get a first look at some X-Men: First Class costumes within a month.
  • Cyclops and Jean Grey are NOT in the movie. Havok definitely is and Lucas Till will be playing him.
  • January Jones is Emma Frost and there’s no truth to Rosamund Pike’s involvement.
  • Singer is excited about them getting Nicholas Hoult as Beast because of a fortunate delay in start date for Mad Max: Fury Road.
  • Kevin Bacon’s villain is in fact, Sebastian Shaw. Yes, that means Hellfire Club is in X-Men: First Class.
  • Singer explains the 1960s setting is perfect for the Hellfire Club, from the characters to costumes.
  • There are other characters that will be in the film that they’re keeping secret. Could it be more mutant X-Men or more likely, other members of the Hellfire Club?
So here are a few highlights. This movie takes place in the sixties and Emma Frost is part of the Hellfire Club with Sebastian Shaw. Yet as some will recall, Emma showed up in the Wolverine Origins movie as one of the prisoners. And that movie took place in the 70s or 80s (it's hard to tell because the movie was so fucked up). Also, anybody who knows anything about the X-men characters knows that Havok, Alex Summers, is the younger brother of Cyclops, Scott Summers. Unless someone does a retcon of the Wolverine movie (which nobody will really give a shit if they do), something's gotta get fucked up here.

It's not that these ideas are inherently bad, but why the fuck would anyone call this movie First Class if it's an Origins movie? First Class implies that the story involves the First Class. That's Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Angel, Beast, and Iceman. No way around it. There was a whole fucking comic series about it for over a year! I get that movies take a lot of liberties from books, but you don't call the Godfather books Willy Wonka and get away with telling a completely different story.

Bryan Singer set his comic movies apart by essentially not paying much attention to the source material. This worked to some extent with the first two movies because he set it up to make it novel and fresh for both comic fans and non-comic fans alike. However, that kind of shit has a very low margin for error. It takes only one X3 to render this entire movie universe completely fucked. Add Wolverine Origins into the mix and it's essentially super-fucked if that were an appropriate term. What's the point of another origins story if every movie that comes after it is basically going to end up sucking anyways? Add to that, the assholes making it have the audacity to call it First Class when they could have just as easily called it X-men Origins and nobody would be bitching about it the way I am right now.

Even without Cyclops and Jean Grey in it, there's still a big problem with telling the story of Charles Xavier's origin with Magneto. In X3 Xavier is going to get fucking killed! So again, everything he does in this movie or whatever other prequels Fox shits out mean precisely dick. Because in the end, he's going to get killed by Jean Grey in a way that has no drama, no punch, no impact, and no redeeming qualities. It's not like the death of Darth Vader in Star Wars in that at least his death was a major turning point in the Star Wars movies. Xavier's death, like that of Cyclops and Jean Grey, is muddled in the fucked up horrors that is X3. Until that movie is expunged from existence, all subsequent X-men movies are shit.

There are only a few faint glimmers of hope with this movie. Director, Matthew Vaughn, stated a while back that this movie could draw parallels to the Star Trek movie that came out last year. That movie was not a reboot. It was in continuity with the other films, but the time line was essentially reset because characters from the future came back and essentially altered the past forever in what some call a quasi-reboot. If First Class has something similar then that may open the door for X3 at least being partially forgotten, but the fact it will still have happened requires that this and every subsequent movie be awesome on such great levels that it may have to date rape the forces of the impossible to stand a chance.

Perhaps I'm still overly bitter about X3, but as an X-men fan it's seriously disheartening when the X-men movie franchise feels like the most fucked franchise in all of comic movies. Hulk got a reboot after only one movie and now Superman and Spider-Man are getting reboots without the studios trying to salvage the shitty movies that came before them with prequels. Why is it that the X-men franchise has to go through four movies that imploded with two more in the pipeline (X-men First Class and Wolverine Origins II) to endure? It's like trying to cut your losses at a blackjack table by continuing to bet more and more despite losing with every possible hand.

The only hope for the X-men movies at this point is a reboot, but so long as the studio is obsessed with making prequels it may be years if not decades until that finally happens. By then I'll probably be dead from alcohol poisoning or I'll have long since been committed. And any fans who were hoping for redemption after X3 would have long since stopped giving a fuck. So I think it's safe to say that there's a 95 percent chance that the X-men movie franchise is completely and utterly fucked for the next decade. Nuff said.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

X-men Supreme Bios Update and X-men First Class Movie News


It's been a while since I updated the bios section of my website. It's not may fault either. These new characters take time to introduce in a series and X-men Supreme is no exception. For those of you who missed the last issue titled Pryde and Prejudice, I finally got around to bringing Kitty Pryde into the mix. She's a longtime favorite of mine and she looks to bring her own unique edge to the X-men Supreme fanfiction series. Now as I've done with every character I've introduced thus far, I've put a unique twist on Kitty's background. She doesn't have the same history or tendencies in X-men Supreme that she does in the comics or cartoons. Those who were awesome enough to read the issue understand this, but if you would rather have the cliff notes version I've prepared a bio for her explaining who she is and how she got to the point she's at now within X-men Supreme.

Kitty "Shadowcat" Pryde Bio

You'll definitely want to keep up because Kitty will be playing a big role in the final arc that is set to begin with the next issue! The first volume of X-men Supreme has been building towards a big event soon and it's all coming together. The end of Volume 1: Mutant Revolution will bring a major change to the world of X-men Supreme and set the stage for the next volume. You won't want to miss it so if you're looking for a time to jump into the action, there's no time like the present!

As much as I would like to end this post on that note, there's one more tidbit that needs to be brought up. I haven't really posted a lot of news on the upcoming X-men First Class movie lately and for good reason. I've yet to regain any confidence whatsoever in Fox's X-men movies since the travesty that was Brett Ratner's X3. Yet so far Fox and director Matthew Vaughn have put together a sizable cast. This cast includes the following lineup thus far according to IMDB:

Alice Eve - Emma Frost

James McAvoy - Professor Xavier

Michael Fassbender - Magneto

Nicholas Hoult - Beast

Rosamund Pike - Moria MacTaggart (not confirmed officially)

Jennifer Lawrence - Mystique

Kevin Bacon - Sebastian Shaw (not confirmed officially)

Edi Gathegi - Darwin

Lucas Till - Havok

Caleb Jones - Banshee

There is still no word on who is playing Cyclops, Jean Grey, or Storm. If this movie is called First Class it damn well better have...you know, the first class of X-men. However, the biggest question has been whether or not this movie is a prequel or a reboot. If it's a reboot, that's great. A fresh start and a clean slate is just what the movie X-men need. But if it's a prequel, it's a complete waste of film because it doesn't matter what happens in it. Everything is going to get fucked up in X3. That's like trying to make shit that doesn't stink from the same materials. Nobody has been able to clear up just what the hell this movie is.

Well a recent interview from MTV news seems to offer some confirmation and it isn't all that great. Director Matthew Vaughn when asked if First Class will fit into the continuity of the previous X-films, his answer was clear:

"Yeah, I would say absolutely so," Vaughn responded when asked if "First Class" would be an official, in-continuity prequel to the "X-Men" movies that came before it.

So there you have it. This movie just lost all hope of expunging the piss poor shit stain that is X3. He tries to make it out as some compelling tale that tells the audience where these characters came from. Well I say to that who gives a fuck if they're all going to be screwed over in X3!  It doesn't matter how fun or engaging the history of Charles Xavier is in the past, he's going to get screwed over in X3 and so is Cyclops, Jean Grey, Rogue, and Mystique! It's not like the Star Wars prequels in the sense that we know the ending is good and everything does work out in the end. We know how this piece of shit story turns out and anything that leads up to it might as well be toilet paper. It doesn't mean shit!

There may still be some faint sliver of hope. In another story done by Screenrant, the X-men First Class movie was stated to be in continuity the same way the J. J. Abrams Star Trek movie was in continuity.

ScreenRant: X-men First Class is But Isn't a Reboot

Now that's an important distinction because while Star Trek wasn't a reboot, it did completely change the Star Trek continuity as it stood because the movie ventured into the past and redid the time line. If X-men First Class does something similar, then perhaps X3 can be overwritten. It would be a hell of a stretch, but many fans who still have Brett Ratner on their shit list would be very happy. Then again, that's assuming the powers that be are smarter than they've proven themselves over the past few years.

Time will tell, but if nothing is done to address the bullshit ending that X3 did to the series then Vaughn and Fox might as well be pissing into the oncoming wind of a hurricane. Unless they're okay with that, there's no hope for the X-men movie franchise. The sooner it gets rebooted the better. Nuff said.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

X-men Movie News (Sort Of)

In 2006 when X3: The Last Stand came out, a case study in how NOT to end a trilogy was born. Some call it the Godfather 3 syndrome. When a trilogy starts, the first two are usually good with the second one being a big improvement. Then the third movie comes out and it flat out sucks in a way that makes fans of the first two want to go back in time, strangle themselves, and make sure they stay in a coma for the duration of the movie's existence.

The X-men franchise didn't follow this trend exactly. The first X-men movie was revolutionary for it's time, but not well-praised by critics and fans. It wasn't terrible though. It did tell an interesting story and it did set a new tone for superhero movies. Then X2: X-men United came along and the bar was raised. This is one of the few times when both critics and fans were on the same page. This was a movie that finished where the first one fell short. It told a compelling story while doing justice to the characters and giving some much needed depth both emotionally and plot-wise. In a sense this may have been a bad thing because it made expectations for X3 so high. Then someone dropped a bomb.

Bryan Singer, the director who brought the X-men movies to life, left the project to do Superman. Who got the job instead? A guy named Brett Ratner, whose very name now evokes a nauseous feeling that induces more suicidal thoughts than the come-down from a hit of ecstasy. This guy was the anti-Singer. He had about as much subtlety as a kick in the balls. Where Singer provided both plot depth and character depth, Ratner was all about the shock-and-awe. It was all about big wars, big fights, and big moments like the death of some beloved characters and a script tailor made to satisfy Halle Berry and Hugh Jackman's publicist. This would have been fine if the characters were actually shown the least bit of respect and if the plot was remotely engaging.

X3 was a travesty. You don't kill off Charles Xavier, Cyclops, and Jean Grey while thoroughly disrespecting the Phoenix Saga (also known as the best X-men story EVER) and make fans happy. Maybe this was an alien concept to Ratner, but people don't like seeing characters they love being casually killed off. What made the death of Jean Grey so powerful in X2 was that it was built up and given an emotionally powerful story that was in many ways tied to her first death in the comics. I don't know what comics Ratner was reading, but he must have got them from the ass of some schizophrenic hobo hanging outside a comic shop in Tijuana. That's the only possible explanation that could make any sense of his bullshit.

Since X3 ended, nobody seems interested in making a sequel (who can blame them?), but that didn't stop Fox from making a Wolverine movie. While nowhere near the travesty that was X3, it certainly didn't wow fans back onto the movie bandwagon. Many simply cannot forgive the stupidity that is "Barakapool." Never-the-less, it still made money and that's all Fox needs to keep making these movies.

So when X-men First Class was announced, fans returned to the world of hope. When Laura Donner, the producer of the X-men films, announced it as an origins story that told of Magneto and Xavier's original split, the appeal was self-evident. Fans were even more giddy when they heard Bryan Singer was coming back to direct. It seemed if anyone can recapture the magic, it would be him. Turns out, however, that excitement was premature.

Fused Film: Bryan Singer will only Produce X-men First Class

That's right. Singer, already contracted to do "Jack the Giant Killer," won't be returning to X-men in the same capacity. He'll only be producing, leaving yet another director gap. Since Brett Ratner was tarred and feathered and banished from the X-men Universe, someone new will have to take his place. Will they make the same mistake Ratner did or will Singer's involvement be enough? Only time will tell, but there is one aspect fans are not going to forget.

If this is a prequel then it really doesn't matter what the hell the movie does because everybody will know how it ends. Any character development with Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Xavier will be completely moot because they're just going to die in X3 anyways. So who cares? That makes fans of the franchise a little iffy about enjoying it. Perhaps it would be best if X-men did the same thing Spider-Man has done and reboot the whole franchise. It would give the studios a clean slate to work with. Of course, that may make too much sense. X3 has permanently tainted the current movie series and if Marvel and Fox want any hope of capturing the same excitement they did with X2, then they need to get back to basics. Spider-Man is doing it. Superman is doing it. Why can't the X-men do it?