Adolescence Is Everybody's Kryptonite: Spider-Man #1

The following is my review of Spider-Man #1, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Creating an iconic character is like trying to create another Mona Lisa. There's no formula to it. Nobody truly knows whether a character will become an icon any more than Da Vinci knew that his paintings would be the subject of a Dan Brown novel. It's these iconic characters that make up the backbone of the comic book industry and if modern comics has a Mona Lisa, then it is best manifested in the character of Peter Parker.

He's not just a character that Marvel and Disney milk for billions. He's a proverbial everyman who readers can relate to more than aliens from Krypton, warriors from Paradise Island, or talking raccoons with machine guns. Peter Parker embodies that uniquely close connection with readers wherein his heroics and his persona aren't larger than life. The strength and success of Peter Parker helped make him an icon. He turned Toby McGuire a Hollywood superstar. He turned Andrew Garfield into someone other than that guy who once dated Emma Stone. Peter's influence is beyond dispute.

In the same way the music industry looks for the next Elvis Presley, Marvel keeps trying to create another Peter Parker. The success of such efforts are varied at best. For every Kamala Khan, there's are multiple Ben Rileys. By most measures, the biggest success to date is Miles Morales. He may have been born from the defunct pile of ashes that was the Ultimate Universe, but the strength of his character has made him an icon in his own right and he managed to do it without resorting to clones.

With the end of Secret Wars, Miles Morales has now set up shop in the prime Marvel Universe. Now, absent of the baggage that made the Ultimate Universe the ultimate afterthought, he's free to develop on a new path in Spider-Man #1. That path follows a similar route to Peter Parker with a few unique twists along the way. While the destination is the same, the route might be a bit too familiar at times.

Miles Morales is in a very different place compared to Peter Parker. It's not just because he's a teenager, he's still in high school, and he hasn't been cloned yet either. He's still trying to establish himself in this world of female Thors, talking trees, and time-displaced X-men. On top of all that, he has to do that while trying to navigate high school, grades, and teenage hormones. The responsibilities placed on him couldn't be more unreasonable without demanding he master origami in the process.

This is the sort of balancing act that Superman, Batman, and Captain America never have to deal with. They're adults dealing with adult problems. What Miles deals with, and what Peter Parker once dealt with as well, are problems that actual people face as teenagers. Give any teenager superpowers and they'll still struggle being a teenager. Adolescences is everybody's kryptonite to some degree. This is what made Peter Parker relatable in his youth. This is what makes Miles Morales relatable in Spider-Man #1.

Brian Michael Bendis goes out of his way to emphasize Miles' struggles as a teenage boy over his struggles as Spider-Man. He spends most of the issue out of his costume, dealing with the frustrations and complications that come with being a teenager. This includes struggling with grades, dealing with irate teenage girls, and discussing midterms with parents. For countless teenagers, this is every bit as daunting as a battle against Galactus.

It's a typical part of a teenager's life and a part that most adults try to forget. Spider-Man #1 goes out of its way to capture that and for good reasons. It's one of the most important elements of Spider-Man's formula. While this keeps Miles grounded, as prescribed by the classic Peter Parker formula, it does have some shortcomings.

At times, the narrative tries too hard to make Miles Morales into a younger, non-clone version of Peter Parker. In the same way it's impossible to recreate the Beatles without John Lennon, it's not possible to make Miles exactly like Peter. It's one thing to have him struggle with school, grades, and women. This has been the basis of every Spider-Man movie and cartoon for nearly two decades. However, Miles Morales has a few key elements that set him apart and these elements are poorly developed in Spider-Man #1.

Miles doesn't life with his Aunt and Uncle. Miles' best friend doesn't have a rich father who occasionally puts on goblin masks and throws pumpkin bombs. Most notably, Miles isn't the nerdy white boy that shows like The Big Bang Theory have been glorifying for a decade. He's a half-black, half-latino kid in an urban area. Expecting his experiences to be the same as Peter Parker requires a certain ignorance of 100 years of American race relations or a complete rejection of every rant Bill O'Riley has ever made on the subject.

That's not to say that these differences are outright ignored. Miles' friendship with Genke, as well as his dealings with his parents, do help establish that Miles is not a Peter Parker clone. In any Spider-Man story, that counts for a lot. However, the failure to explore the elements that make Miles a different kind of Spider-Man is a significant shortcoming for the story.

Despite such shortcomings, Spider-Man #1 still sticks close enough to the formula to work. It still shows Miles functioning as both a teenager and as Spider-Man. When he finally does put on his costume, he confronts a threat that doesn't feel like it was pasted from old Steve Ditko art. There is sufficient intrigue to make Miles Morales' story worth following.

Brian Michael Bendis and Sara Pichelli follow the necessary formula to make Miles Morales feel like Spider-Man, but the finished product feels incomplete. It lacks the kinds of egregious flaws that would make that formula volatile. There's never a sense in Spider-Man #1 that Miles Morales is ready to make a deal with Mephisto. Miles is still a long way from Peter Parker in terms of iconic status and movie appearances, but with this issue, he takes another important step.

Final Score: 7 out of 10

Growth and Regression: Amazing Spider-Man #1

The following is my review of Amazing Spider-Man #1, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Certain characters have certain characteristics that make them iconic, lovable, or at the very least acceptable. On the surface, characters like Batman or the Punisher would be diagnosed with serious personality disorders in the real world. But within their respective narratives, they're portrayed in a way that makes them respectable despite whatever disorder they might have. Whereas they would need serious counseling and medication in the real world, they're able to channel their problems into a personal journey. And in some respects, that might be healthier, given the side-effects of certain medications.

The personal journey of Peter Parker isn't nearly as dark or distressing as Batman or the Punisher. It's not all rainbows and ponies either, given how he's lost loved ones and endured trauma that few therapists are equipped to treat. But his journey has always been conveyed in a way that feels more relatable than most characters. He's not an alien from a distant world. He's not an ex-marine or eccentric billionaire. He's a kid from Queens. If he were in a high school yearbook, he'd be voted the most likely to be completely forgotten the day after graduation.

But over the past few years, that reliability has been undermined and this time it's not because he married a supermodel. He's gone from a no-name kid from Queens to an aspiring Tony Stark wannabe. He has his own company. He has a doctorate. The amount of people who can make that claim these days could probably fill Yankee's Stadium and still have enough room left for an open bar and buffet.

Now, in Amazing Spider-Man #1, the journey of Peter Parker goes in a bold new direction. But does this direction remain true to the narrative that makes Peter Parker respectable? The answer isn't a clear yes or no. However, there are clear undertones that attempt to keep this new direction from being too bold. And in some respects, this is a major crack in the foundation of Spider-Man. It hasn't caused the whole building to crumble, but it does give the impression that it bribed the building code inspector.

That's not to say the foundation doesn't support an engaging story. It's a story that involves an oversized car that can climb walls. And if the success of the Fast and the Furious movies has taught us anything, it's that obscenely overpowered cars are awesome. Peter Parker might not Vin Disel, but he does finally put that genius IQ to work for him and he's able to do it without losing any hair. That alone is an accomplishment.

It feels like one of those stories that shouldn't have taken this long to develop. Like a state that only recently revoked laws that banned short skirts, it feels like Peter should've done something like this earlier. A big part of his character is that he's a nerd with an above-average IQ. It's because of that IQ that he was able to make the kind of artificial webbing that DARPA probably spent $10 billion trying to develop. That kind of resourcefulness gives him all the traits he needs to be a successful businessman. Elon Musk is proof enough of that.

But however long it took, Peter never gives the impression that he's all that comfortable with this role. His definitely not Tony Stark in that he carries himself with the kind of Kanye West swagger that would lead him to spend six figures on a toilet seat. He does still come off as the kind of humble everyman that makes Spider-Man so iconic. While this is admirable, it's also the greatest flaw in the narrative.

A good chunk of the story is spent showing how Peter runs his company. He basically tries to run it in the way Bernie Sanders thinks all companies should be run. He doesn't pay himself an obscene salary. He tries to put himself on the same levels as his workers. And he tries to be charitable in a way that the Bill Gates of the world would approve of. But it's the Bruce Waynes and Tony Starks of the world who would sense something amiss.

The readers already know what's amiss and they don't need Bruce Wayne's detective skills to figure it out. Peter Parker, for all his brilliance and humility, doesn't give the impression that he knows what he's doing. In the same way he basically fell into his powers, he fell into this company as well. He didn't create it out of a garage like Steve Jobs. Otto Octavious created it. He just inherited it when the whole mind-swap story finally regressed. And because of this, there's this underlying sentiment that Peter will regress.

This is what makes it hard to get overly excited about the bold new direction of Peter Parker in Amazing Spider-Man #1. There's this sense that because Peter doesn't know what he's doing, he's going to screw it up somehow and regress back to the guy who lives with his Aunt and works a lousy job for J. Jonah Jameson. He calls it Parker Luck, but it's really a flaw in system that makes it hard to get attached to any of these new developments.

It's played out many times throughout Spider-Man's history. Gets a really nice job that pulls him out of poverty? He screws it up. Gets a really nice girl? He screws that up too. Gets his own company that somebody else created for him? He hasn't screwed that up yet, but there's a distinct sense that he will. The ending already lays the foundation in that a familiar enemy re-emerges who is bound to make screwing up that much easier.

For the moment, Peter Parker is in a new position with a new narrative. There are elements in Amazing Spider-Man #1 that give that narrative plenty of promise. At the same time, it feels more like a gimmick in the same mold of Superior Spider-Man. There's still a sense that at some point, Peter Parker will snap back to being that everyman who hasn't progressed beyond the stage of an indebted college student. And as relatable as that is, there comes a point where someone stuck in that stage isn't all that amazing.

Final Score: 5 out of 10

A True Second Life: Spider-Gwen #1

The following is my review of Spider-Gwen #1, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

For better or for worse, some characters are defined by a singular moment. Batman is defined by the murder of his parents. Peter Parker is defined by the irresponsibility that led to the death of his uncle. And Jason Biggs is defined by his intimate dealings with baked goods in American Pie. These defining moments are both memorable and compelling for their iconic impact. But sometimes these moments can weight down a character and limit their development. This is what happened to Gwen Stacy.

For decades now, Gwen Stacy has been defined by her death. Even after her history was obscenely twisted by an affair with Norman Osborn, her death remains the most notable aspect of her character. Her personality, motivations, and potential were all shackled by this moment. That’s why a new world with a new path feels so jarring. That’s what the events of Spider-Verse offered when it introduced Spider-Gwen.

In this world, Gwen Stacy was no longer the girl who died or got knocked up by Norman Osborn. She was the one who got bit by the spider and became a new incarnation of Spider-Man. For a character that’s been around since the disco era, it’s a novelty that shouldn’t feel like one on paper. She’s a cute, pretty blonde who gets Spider-Powers. If she didn’t have any history and tried to come out in an era of female Thors and Kamala Khans, she probably wouldn’t make the cut. But she does have that history and Spider-Gwen #1 shows that this history helps make this new path special.

The context of Spider-Man’s history is what gives Gwen’s status as Spider-Woman weight in the story. There are familiar names all around her from Ben Grimm to Foggy Nelson. Some of these characters are very different. Some aren’t different at all. Kingpin is still a criminal mastermind, Vulture is still a C-list villain, and J. Jonah Jameson is still a cantankerous blow-hard. It’s a world that feels like Spider-Man. But through the eyes of Gwen Stacy, it takes on a bold new meaning.

In many respects, Gwen Stacy’s struggles are very similar to a young Peter Parker. She’s trying to do the right thing and be a hero. However, everyone else in the world thinks she’s a villain. At one point, her own father was Spider-Woman’s harshest critic. And in a world where people J. Jonah Jameson seriously, that’s saying something. Her defining moment to this point was her revealing her identity to her father and saving him. While that moment made her a hero in the same way catching his uncle’s killer made him a hero, it also complicated her life in ways befitting of any Spider-Man story.

Gwen Stacy is really at rock bottom in terms of her reputation as a superhero. In some ways, she has it even worse than Peter Parker. At least Peter Parker didn’t get blamed for the death of his uncle. Since J. Jonah Jameson loves to outdo himself in any universe, he’s made it so Spider-Woman is the reason for Peter Parker’s death in this world. And since her father is still a captain with the NYPD, she doesn’t even have a home to go to. Even on his worst days, Peter could count on a nice home-cooked meal from his Aunt May. Gwen doesn’t have that luxury.

Most of the story revolves around Gwen coming to grips with all the forces that are working against her. But in the tradition of all the Spider-Men and Spider-Women that came before her, she doesn’t let that stop her from being responsible. In fact, she conveys more responsibility than Peter Parker did as a teenager in some ways. She doesn’t blame anyone else for her situation. She doesn’t get overly bitter. She doesn’t even whine about it. She just takes it all in until she sees an opportunity to make Spider-Woman a hero again. And she hasn’t even thrown her costume in a garbage can yet. Compared to Peter Parker and Miles Morales, she’s way ahead of schedule.

The strength of this story is built around Gwen Stacy trying to re-establish herself in a world that is trying desperately to reject her. It’s a world that’s conveyed through her eyes and from her perspective. It feels very personal while capturing all the right elements that make Spider-Man stories great. But beyond this strength, there isn’t much in terms of bonuses.

There are other parts of the story that tie into Gwen’s, but they’re only marginally developed. There’s nothing about this version of Vulture that anyone is going to find novel or intriguing. The same can be said for Kingpin and J. Jonah Jameson. That’s not to say there aren’t other stories worth following. The band Gwen belongs to, the Mary Janes, are one of the more novel aspects of her world. Their story does continue, but not by much. They’re basically the equivalent of Youtube celebrities now. And that can only last as long as the next cat video.

There was a lot to love about Gwen Stacy before she ever got spider-powers. Spider-Gwen #1 reveals a world has a very different Gwen Stacy, but she still has all the same characteristics that make her so lovable. She’s still that sweet girl next door that boys are afraid to talk to since her father is a cop. She just happens to have spider-powers in this world and she’s had the same rotten luck as Peter Parker in terms of using them responsibility. But considering how she ended up dead in Peter’s world, it still counts as an upgrade.

Final Score: 8 out of 10

Weaving A New Web: Silk #1

The following is my review of Silk #1, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Not too long ago, strong female characters were like unicorns. Everybody had a concept of them, but nobody could honestly say they had seen one. It feels like comics, movies, and TV shows have only recently figured out the successful formula for making good female characters. They don’t have to be overtly sexual like Catwoman. They don’t have to be overly tough like Michelle Rodriguez in every movie she’s ever been in. They just have to be interesting in their own unique way. That really shouldn’t be such an alien concept. And yet, successful female characters still feel like an anomaly.

Characters like Kamala Khan, Princess Elsa, and whatever character Scarlett Johannsen plays in a movie have finally set the bar for what a successful female character should be. In that context, the jury is still out on Cindy Moon. She was one of the best concepts to come out of Original Sin. So far, she hasn’t been revealed to be a clone so she still has the potential to be in the same league as Kamala Khan.

Since her story began, she’s been a supporting character for Spider-Man and Spider-Woman. At times, she’s been a lost soul trying to find her place in a world she missed out on. Then there are times when she exists to make Peter Parker’s life more awkward, as only a cute young woman can. She’s not exactly a feminist icon, nor is she a character ripped from one of Hugh Hefner’s fantasies. Now she has her own solo series to show that she can be more than cuter version of Joe Pesci. And the results in Silk #1 show that Cindy Moon is still a work-in-progress.

In terms of being a hero, Silk is still a toddler who can’t stop spilling her juice cup. She has a hard time holding her own in a battle against a C-list villain like Dragonclaw. She still needs an assist from Spider-Man to keep herself from falling too hard on her face. She’s not a damsel, but she’s no She-Hulk either. She essentially a late-round draft pick in a class that has already produced some incredible talent. She’s not Tom Brady, but she has earned herself a starter role.

What makes Silk’s story so compelling is that it’s very different from Peter Parker’s. She didn’t fail to save or uncle or witness the murder of her parents. She was a victim of deception and fear. She was sequestered for a good chunk of her life because someone convinced her that she was a target and she did what might have sounded like a good idea to a scared teenager. Now, years later, she’s trying to rebuild her life without fear. She’s like one of those paranoid families in the 1950s that built bomb shelters because they thought nuclear war was imminent. Now they have to adjust to a life where the biggest threat comes from shoe bombers and kids who aren’t vaccinated against the measles.

The adjustment for Silk is what gives this story its unique flavor. Cindy Moon doesn’t just discover her powers and struggle over how to use them. That’s actually the easiest part of being sequestered for the better part of a decade. The real challenge is trying to adapting her life to a world where N’sync is no longer together and Carson Daily is no longer a relevant celebrity.

It’s a challenge that Cindy struggles with both in and out of costume. At times, she falters in a painfully human way. It doesn’t involve clones or mutant spiders. It involves a young woman trying to find her place in an unfamiliar world. She still struggles in ways that a young Peter Parker often struggled. She has a hard time with her new job. She has to learn to resist the urge to roll her eyes every time J. Jonah Jameson twists the facts to denigrate Spider-Man. It’s familiar, but there are some key differences.

There are still parts of Cindy Moon’s developing history that haven’t been resolved. The most pressing issue involves her family. They disappeared shortly after she went into the bunker and she’s made it her mission to find them. It’s a mission where she makes only limited progress, but it’s made compelling through recollections of Silk’s family life. This helps give some emotional weight to Silk’s motivations and it’s the kind of weight that further sets her apart from Peter Parker. So long as she doesn’t get cloned, this counts for a lot.

It also helps that her home life was different from Peter Parker’s. Her family wouldn’t exactly be guest stars on Jerry Springer, but they do establish that Cindy Moon had a home life that’s worth protecting. The problem is that fighting C-list villains like Dragonclaw and getting limited advice from Peter Parker don’t help her make much progress. In terms of the overall development of her story, she doesn’t get beyond the exposition. However, it does mean that there won’t be much excitement for those not entertained by Silk fighting Dragonclaw.

The scope of Silk’s story might not be at an epic scale, but Silk #1 does successfully establish why Cindy Moon is worth caring about. She’s dealing with issues that are decidedly different than the ones Peter Parker has been dealing with since the Nixon Administration. She’s adjusting to a world that’s overwhelming even for those who haven’t been locked in a bunker for a decade. She’s also trying to save her family in a way Peter Parker never got a chance to. And she has to do this while establishing herself as an inexperienced superhero.

Cindy Moon is definitely one of those characters who could have her own legion of cos-players at some point. She hasn’t achieved that status just yet, but she’s on her way to earning it. If she can tolerate working for J. Jonah Jameson, then she’s capable of standing with the rest of Marvel’s growing pantheon of powerful female heroes.

Final Score: 7 out of 10

A Step Back From Amazing: Amazing Spider-Man #1

The following is my review of Amazing Spider-Man #1, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

What is it that makes Spider-Man amazing? It's a question with many answers and that range of answers is a big reason why Spider-Man has had such vast appeal over many decades. This is a hero who doesn't carry himself as traditional heroes and not just because he got his powers at as a teenager. Peter Parker, as a character, resonates with people in a way characters like Superman, Batman, and Captain America can never hope to do. Few people outside Donald Trump and Peyton Manning know what its like to have superhuman ability or billions of dollars in resources. But Peter Parker, despite having superhuman abilities, is defined by the everyday struggles that so many can relate to. This is what makes him amazing.

However, it's because of those qualities that Amazing Spider-Man #1 has a distinctly unamazing impact. That's not to say it doesn't present Spider-Man in a way that embodies all those qualities that fans have come to know and love. It's the circumstances that have been established as a result of Superior Spider-Man that make these qualities akin to the wrong ingredients in a cake. The premise itself isn't the problem. Peter Parker is back, having regained control over his body from Doctor Octopus. Now he's trying to rebuild his life in a way he's never had to do before. But in doing so, he takes a step back from being amazing and several steps forward to regression.

This gets back to those qualities about Spider-Man that makes him so amazing. He struggles to balance his responsibilities with the real-world problems of his life. But anyone who has ever made it past their teen years intact and only slightly traumatized is still able to make some kind of progress with their lives. They seek higher education, greater training, new jobs, and new opportunities. Sometimes they slip up, but even in those instances most competent people move forward. Well in his first issue back from limbo, Peter Parker gives the impression that he has made little progress as an adult or a hero for that matter. If he were a real person, he would be the kind of guy who habitually crashes on the couches of willing friends and never sees the flaws in his methods.

This is best demonstrated in the battle against a colorful team of thieves that call themselves the Menagerie. They're basically a team of cos-players with fancy gadgets and humanoid hippo for muscle. They're the kind of ridiculously tacky villains that Spider-Man faces all the time. While it was refreshing to see Spider-Man with a sense of humor again, his incompetence was anything but humorous. If anything, it was an ominous sign that Peter Parker is falling back into old habits. This would be tragic and compelling if he were a drug addict. But as a superhero, it's like a grown man trading a motorcycle for a tricycle.

It wasn't that the Menagerie getting the better of him. It's a matter of him going back to his old methods, abandoning the infrastructure and resources that Doctor Octopus acquired as the Superior Spider-Man. He ditched the new suits and all the fancy gadgets and went back to basics. This might be good from a conceptual standpoint for the issue, but from a pragmatic standpoint he might as well be a cop exchanging his gun for a musket. The Menagerie reveal why using just a normal uniform made out of the same threads that make up discount apparel at Wal-Mart is a bad idea. Peter Parker is literally and figuratively exposed in a way that Doctor Octopus never was.

But it isn't just losing his uniform and web-swinging in his underwear that demonstrates his regression. He carries himself around Parker Industries, the company that Doctor Octopus founded under his name, like an unpaid intern pretending to be his boss for a day. He tries to save face around his co-workers and investors. Yet even he admits to himself that he has as much business savvy as kid running a lemonade stand.

It doesn't bode well for him building on the foundation that the Superior Spider-Man laid out for him. In fact, it already shows cracks in the foundation. When Peter had a chance to pick out one of the many costumes Doctor Octopus created, he picked the one that had the least amount of utility in helping him carry out his responsibilities. And he picked it for no other reason than because it felt familiar. He might as well have been wearing his favorite pair of pants long after a hole formed in the back.

This isn't just a matter of classic "Parker luck" as it's often called. It's a matter of not learning from mistakes. The old uniform may look iconic, but even Batman is smart enough to use new gadgets every now and then. And unlike before, Peter has the resources of his own company to help him. He has these options and he doesn't use them. That isn't just incompetent. It's blatantly irresponsible, which makes it hard to root for him even against a team of villains as ridiculous as the Menagerie.

That irresponsibility sets the stage for an uncomfortable confrontation with Anna, the woman Doctor Octopus dated while he was in Peter's body. It also sets the stage for an all too familiar conflict between Spider-Man and J. Jonah Jameson. A bonus story even sets up the return of a very upset Black Cat who is intent on torturing Spider-Man the same way every villain he's ever encounter has fantasized about. These are all classic themes about Spider-Man that fans have come to expect over the years. And the way they unfold in this issue is not the problem. The problem is that Peter Parker insists on using the same approach he's always used, even though the Menagerie just proved its flaws. Jameson and Black Cat have excuses, but Peter Parker does not. It's an instant where reverting back to classic themes make for a choppy and somewhat predictable narrative.

In its efforts to recapture all those amazing qualities that make Spider-Man who he is, Amazing Spider-Man #1 sends Peter Parker down the road to regression. The humor is back, the classic themes have returned, and the tone is much more upbeat than it was during Superior Spider-Man. But bringing Spider-Man back to basics in the context of the story paints a less-than-amazing picture. Every character not named Peter Parker comes off as compelling while Peter Parker just comes off as a guy who refuses to be the superior Spider-Man that Doctor Octopus told him he could be.

Final Score: 5 out of 10

Marvel Adventures Spider-Man #2 - Awesome for All Ages

It's been quite a while since I've followed a Spider-Man comic. Despite being one of my favorite comic series after X-men, I've found little awesome to celebrate in the pages of Marvel's latest releases. I'm among those disgruntled fans who saw One More Day and was so disgusted that I can't even look at a 616 Spider-Man comic without going into convulsions. Maybe I'm weird, but when the writers and editors completely undo 20 years of continuity because they ran out of ideas for a married Spider-Man I get a little pissed. It seemed the only viable Spider-Man comic after that was Ultimate, but then another One More Day caliber shit storm hit the fan called Ultimatum and that fucked everything up just as bad. It's not that Ultimate Spider-Man makes me sick to my stomach. It's the fact that the art is so fucked up it's like a manga comic fucked a stick figure and shit out a bunch of deformed images. Compared to the iconic imagery of Mark Bagley, it's a hell of a downgrade and it's also hard to take a comic book seriously when you can't look at the art without rolling your eyes at how lame it is.

But all is not lost for a comic book Spider-Man. Recently, the Marvel Adventures line launched an ongoing series of Spider-Man and the Avengers (but the comic is titled Super Heroes) that take place in a fresh continuity that caters to all ages. Under the pen of Paul Tobin it's basically like Ultimate, just not on a bigger scale. While that may seem like a turn-off for some, it doesn't stop the books from being awesome and Marvel Adventures Spider-Man #2 demonstrates that in a way that an 8-year-old and an 80-year-old can relate to and not in an Ancient Greek kind of way.

The issue starts off innocently enough. Teenage Peter Parker is carrying some groceries when he get the attention of a dog that looks strikingly similar to Lockjaw, the adorable pet of the Inhumans. The dogs name Attila an even greater clue, but that doesn't come into play. What does come into play is that the dog is snatched by some thugs riding on a motor scooter. It sounds pretty lame and it is. I mean seriously, who steals a fucking dog? Where's the money and street cred in that? It's contrived, no doubt about it. But it serves a purpose. It gets Spider-Man in costume and into hero mode.


Naturally, Peter helps the pretty lady owner of the dog (who looks like Crystal of the Inhumans by the way) and beats the thugs to a pulp. It's hardly surprising and anything but an epic battle, but then again this is an all ages comic. You can't exactly have the guys gang up on the woman and try to rape her. That's more in line with the MAX series. But the conflict isn't without danger. During the fight, a little girl gets caught in the crossfire and Spidy has to be the hero and save her. This being a kid comic, he does just that and the girl is nice and cute about it. If this were Ultimate she would probably be a scantily dressed teenage skank and while I have nothing against those kind of women, this actually does work better.


At least they maintain the theme of Spider-Man being on the shit list of the police. They still treat him like a criminal so that's one theme they maintain despite the age appeal. That's one less reason for the older readers to roll their eyes and bitch. At least the little girl is grateful, showing once again that kids can have far better manners than adults in uniform. Thanks to the kid Spider-Man is free to return the dog to it's owner, but wouldn't you know it? The owner is gone? Either she is part of the Inhumans or she's just a very shitty owner.

So to find her, Peter enlists the help of his current girlfriend, Sofia. For those of you wondering "Wait...who the fuck is Sofia?" That's one of the unique twists to this series. Gwen Stacy is alive in this, but there are other characters like Sofia who is a friend of a teenage Emma Frost that revealed to her Peter's identity. In the comics that led up to this, she grew close to Peter and they became boyfriend and girlfriend. It helps that Sofia is a mutant that can talk to animals so she understands Peter in a way other lovers haven't. She's not the most interesting character thus far, but she has some depth and she's got good chemistry with Peter to make this kiddy universe that much more unique.


So Sofia (who also goes by the codename Chat), tries to help Peter by talking to the dog and locating the owner. It's not successful. Apparently dogs don't have very good communication skills. They think in terms of which scents smell good and which trees are fun to pee on. They're practically on the same level as stoned college students. So they're basically stuck and have to go to school with this animal, hoping the owner will turn up.

While this plot is unfolding, another story develops involving the Torino crime family. Like Sophia, the Torinos are a unique manifestation in this all ages continuity. They're a crime family that Spider-Man has been harassing to no end and like most mobs, they don't like that. So they're putting out increasingly bigger bounties on the guy and one of them is a familiar looking guy with a bald head who boasts he never misses. If you think that sounds like Bullseye, give yourself a gold star and a hit of ecstasy. There's no subtlety here. Tobin has to make this comic have broad appeal and that means no complex character plots. It kind of kills any sense of mystery, but it's pulling some rehashed old plot out of old comics and trying to make it seem new. As the old saying goes, you can't make shit shine.


But Bullseye is just half the story. The other half involves a teenage boy named Carter Torino. As the name implies, he's an heir to the Torino family. Despite that name, he's remarkably well-adjusted. Anybody whose watched the Sopranos knows that kids in mob families tend to get fucked up pretty extensively. This guy looks painfully normal and not in a good way. It does make for a potentially interesting plot though because when he joins Peter's school, Peter is the lucky guy who has to show him the ropes. Seriously, they couldn't draw this up any better if they had pain mixed with flakes of gold and silver.


To make matters even more awkward for Peter, Carter hits it off with Gwen Stacy. Mob kids just can't seem to resist pretty blonds and Gwen just can't resist attracting psychopaths and having their demon babies. Carter puts on the charm and Gwen seems to fall for it as you would expect any ditzy blond. It's a far cry from the sweet girl of the 616 comics or the edgy girl of the Ultimate comics. It seems like something that's just thrown in there to make Peter bang his head against the wall. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but a little subtlety wouldn't make this comic X-rated. Tobin seems too cautious for his own good here.


So there's a missing dog that looks like Lockjaw and a kid from the Torino mob family going to Peter's school. It sounds like quite a plot that could lead to a very interesting conflict. Halfway through the comic you're left wondering what this is going to lead to. Well unfortunately, this is where the comic once again takes another turn that leaves those two little plots on the back burner. The story that basically overtakes the rest of the issue involves a visit from Shang-Chi, also known as Iron Fist. Apparently he does high school assemblies now and he just happens to be giving one in Peter's school when all this is going. Not that I have anything against getting the greater Marvel universe involved, but this is just another contrived plot. I know I say the world contrived a lot, but until I find something that works better this is what I'll keep on saying.


What happens next is fairly predictable, but that doesn't make the action any less enjoyable. Shang-Chi gets some unexpected visitors during his assembly. As is often the case, Ironfist is on the shit list of a lot of ninjas. Perhaps they don't like him wearing such bright colors, but whatever the reason they want to kick his ass and once again they do their best to try. Not to be outdone, Spider-Man gets in on the action and the fight that follows is classic beat-em-up.


It's not over too quickly and it doesn't drag either. For the students in the assembly, they watch on as if it's a staged event. I admit I would probably do the same. How many chances do you get to watch ninjas getting their asses kicked in a high school assembly? It sure would have made high school a lot less boring, that's for sure. Peter channels his inner Karate Kid and earns some praise from Shang-Chi in the process. It makes for a satisfying fight that kids and adults alike can appreciate it.


The problem is the comic runs out of ink at this point. There's no further development with the dog or Carter Torino or Bullseye. Spider-Man just fights the ninjas with Ironfist and that's it. Even though the fight was fun, it essentially cock-blocks the story. Whoever was interested in seeing where the first two plots set up in the beginning were going they end up being disappointed. Apparently, they weren't as interesting as ninjas. It's not entirely flawed logic. It has been scientifically proven time and again that ninjas make a comic more awesome. It's not without it's charms here either, but just doesn't fit the plot. If only the Torino crime family was a family of ninjas then Tobin would have something. Unfortunately, the issue ends on an incomplete note and basically leads readers onto follow the next issue. It's not really a cliffhanger, but it's still a semi-effective tease.


Now it bears repeating that this is a kids comic. It is drawn like a kids comic and it carries itself as such. Despite this, there is plenty of appeal here and the art is worlds above the migraine inducing work of Ultimate Spider-Man. Tobin's dialogue is also pretty crisp here as well. He has a solid feel for these characters and is able to give them a decent voice that doesn't feel bland or boring. Even so, the plot is spotty and the contrived aspects of the story keep it from being truly special. It says a lot about the other Spider-Man comics that this is probably the most well-crafted and the least painful to follow. That takes away nothing of what Tobin has done here and ensures the series has the pull it needs to keep readers interested.

For what Marvel Adventures Spider-Man #2 brings to the table, it earns a respectable 3 out of 5. It has it's flaws and it suffers from messy storytelling. But it's a solid title and demonstrates the great potential in the Marvel Adventures line. Since Ultimate has been utterly ruined, it leaves readers like me hoping that this line gets expanded to include other facets of the Marvel universe like X-men, the Defenders, the Fantastic Four, and SHIELD. There's a great deal of potential here and there's also a solid market for an alternative from 616. Ultimate once filled that void, but thanks to Ultimatum it's about as meaningful as Paris Hilton's views on foreign policy. Paul Tobin is on the verge of doing something special here and this series is definitely worth following, if for no other reason than to have a Spider-Man universe that is fun, entertaining, and not soul-crushingly lame. Nuff said.