Generation Hope #3 - A New Generation of Awesome

Whenever a story about a new generation emerges, it's only natural for the previous generation to bitch about it. Generation Hope marks a new generation of mutants, the first since M-day. As such the Generation Hope series is being scrutinized by X-men fans the same way anyone born before the year 1950 scrutinizes how devious and decadent today's youth is. Those old-timer traditionalists get their panties and adult diapers in a bunch when they see such bizarre things like rap music, the internet, pants cut so low you can tell whether or not someone has gotten the Brazilian treatment at a waxing spa. By the same token, X-men fans are inherently skeptical about a new generation of mutants to make up for what was lost on M-Day. In their whiny cerebral cotex, nothing short of giving every mutant their powers back will do. To hell with trying something new! They want to live continuously in the one year of comics where they first got interested in it. Back then everything was exciting and new. It's sort of like your first hit of crack. Now that hit doesn't get you as high anymore and you think smoking more crack will do it. Well any comic fan or drug user knows that it doesn't work that way.

Generation Hope has taken the events of Second Coming and used it to tell a new story surrounding Jean Gre-I mean Hope Summers (sorry, for some reason I still can't tell those two apart). It bears a lot of the same elements from the very early X-men comics. Jean-I mean Hope travels around the world finding new mutants who are struggling to understand their new powers. Using her messiah touch (which involves a little something called the Phoenix Force that Jean Grey fans know all too well), she not only helps stabilize their powers. She makes them believers in a cultish sort of way. Now four teenage mutants follow her like the apostles follow Christ, except they do a lot more than your typical sermon on the mount.

The past two issues have had Jea-I mean Hope and her four new mutants (the lights as they're now called) struggle to stop the fifth new light. Kenji, a Japanese artist who saw Akira one too many times, has developed powers that turn him into the kind of monster you only see in tentacle rape porn. Je-Hope has been trying to stabilize him and hasn't been too successful to this point. Even with help from Cyclops and Wolverine, Kenji managed to go Godzilla on them and throw a hissy fit on Tokyo. The other lights aren't exactly getting their heads in the game. Remember, they're teenagers. A few days ago their sole concern was updating their Facebook page, going to school, and finding creative and secretive ways to masterbate. So they're certainly not X-men and they'll have to be if they're to stop Kenji from doing to Tokyo what tentacle monsters do to underaged Japanese school girls.

Now as some of you have noticed, I've documented my inability and frustration with distinguishing Hope Summers from Jean Grey-Summers. They look alike, they dress alike, they act alike (particular when comparing Hope to Grant Morrison's take on Jean in New X-men), and they wield the Phoenix Force. Even Rachel had some shit to set her apart. Hope/Jean is really pushing it and the first pages of Generation Hope #3 push it even further. It starts off with the Phoenix again. This cosmic plot point that Marvel can't resist milking has been associated with Jean Grey for years and now she's guiding Hope. She says she's "her child", which is not unlike what the Phoenix told Jean. She also calls the lights "our children" so it appears the Phoenix has a larger hand in this new generation than was already blatantly indicated. Yet writers like Gillen and Marvel's new Editor-in-Chief, Axel Alonso, are allergic to clearing this up. Is there a Hope/Jean connection? If so what is it? Nobody is saying anything, but the imagery couldn't be more obvious if Gillen walked door-to-door to every X-men fan and hit them upside the head with a lead pipe.

This ominous (and blatant) hint lasts for only one page. The Phoenix wakes Jea-I mean Hope up like a double-shot espresso from Starbucks. Her four lights/disciples explain to her that Kenji is about to tentacle rape Tokyo. In response she channels her inner Cable and rallies these recently mutated and completely untrained teenagers to help her stop him. She blames herself for not getting to Kenji sooner. It is a somewhat ominous sign that if she hadn't stabilized the powers of the others, they could have ended up like him. So even though she's still young enough to qualify as jailbait in most states, she has balls that even Ron Jeremy would admire.

That's not to say the lights follow her blindly. Remember, these are teenagers who have had about as much X-men training as Andy Dick. They're still new to this world. They're following Jean-I mean Hope, but they're not all up for what she's asking of them. Laurie, the blue-skinned yet surprisingly doable flying mutant, expresses this reservation. She's probably the most mature of the group so of course she overthinks. Kieron Gillen offers some great insight into how these new mutants are reacting to this new life of theirs. It's still sinking in and they're still a long ways away from being X-men, which means Je-I mean Hope has to be a bit harsh with them.

While some of the lights are busy whining, the real X-men are trying to stop Kenji and doing a piss poor job of it. It's also worth noting they're not trying to save Kenji. They're trying to save him in the same way Jack Kavorkian tried to save his patients. As far as Cyclops has concerned, Kenji has become too big a threat. He's still in war-time mode, which was actually brought up back on Uncanny. Anti-Cyclops fans will have plenty of ways to scream "See! Cyclops is a dick now!" But to be fair, Wolverine doesn't even try to argue with him. So for once he and Cyclops are on the same page and that's saying something.

Jean Gr-I mean Hope (sorry, it's taking longer this time) doesn't see it that way. She still wants to save Kenji so that means taking her untrained and shell shocked lights and leading them into battle. It would be like pee-wee football team trying to beat the 2007 New England Patriots. But this is the Mutant Messiah we're talking about here. She can always pull an Eli Manning.

It starts with Teon tackling Wolverine before he can give Kenji the adamantium special. Then Idie, the African girl with fire and ice powers who doesn't really talk much, uses some fire to to slow Kenji down. She makes a case for her being separated at birth from Storm and allows Gabriel to run J-Hope (so close!) up Kenji's Akira-style body so she can go in for another Phoenix treatment. It's nicely coordinated, considering the manpower she's working with. It puts Je-I mean Hope in a position to make Kenji a little less annoying and the Akira producers a little less inclined to sue.

Gabriel can't take his messiah the whole way. Remember, this kid is no Quicksilver. He ends up falling, but lucky for him Laurie grew a pair and flew in to save him. Oddly enough, she's naked. She's not wearing the pink dress she wore earlier. If she can only fly naked then that may very well make her one of the strangest (or most awesome) mutant girls in the X-books. Wherever that dress went, it's besides the point because now the onus is on Hope-Jean (damn it, it's still too hard!) to take on Kenji. She uses some of her mimic powers to beat Kenji at his own game. In the process she throws a little twist into her attack.

While she's holding off Kenji, she sends a little message to Cyclops and by message I don't mean she texted the guy. She uses a similar trick Kenji played on her in the previous issue, taking him to a surreal mind-scape of the Golden Gate Bridge that some have reported experiencing when they smoke the pot sold in San Francisco pot dispensaries. It's not one of those meeting of the mind type deals where characters have a psychic conversation, or a psychic romp as Emma Frost has been known to indulge in. Jean Grey-or Hope because the line really gets blurry here, essentially urges Cyclops to stop protecting her like the battle against Bastion is still going on. Her message is simple. Let her be the messiah she's supposed to be.

Cyclops gets the message and starts making up for his dickish behavior earlier. He, Wolverine, and the rest of the X-men start backing Je-I mean Hope (sorry, it's really hard this time) up while she battles Kenji. Her tactic is simple. What's the best way to destroy a giant city-crushing monster? Become a monster yourself! While she's battling Kenji, she's also confronting him in his mind. It's an interesting way to show their struggle, but Kieron Gillen organizes it wonderfully so it's not as confusing as it sounds.

Kenji is still wacked out like an escaped mental patient who just spent a weekend at Gary Busey's house. J-Hope (getting closer!) essentially gives Kenji the silent treatment and lets her knack for ass-kicking honed by an upbringing with Cable do the talking. It does the trick as Jope-I mean Hope's monster beats out Kenji's. It's like those old battles between the Power Rangers and giant monsters, except instead of exploding Kenji withers when he takes one too many punches. He's a Japanese artists, remember? He's not exactly trained ninjitsu expert.

When he falls, Hope (there, I finally got it!) moves in for the finishing blow. That means after three full issues, she finally gives Kenji her special touch to stabilize his powers. Compared to the other four, this kid was about as cooperative as Axel Rose when he's hung over. But the mutant messiah lived up to her name. She reached the last of the five lights.

Seems like a solid ending. All is well. The five lights have come together and everything should be fine and dandy. Anyone who has been following comic books for more than three days knows that bullshit doesn't fly. However, this time it ends with something that should leave many readers scratching their heads. When Kenji is subdued and Hope emerges, she confronts Cyclops. She gives him the expected I-told-you-so. Just like Alfred in the Dark Knight, she seems to love saying that. Then she faints. There's no warning, no flash, no nothing. She just faints. There isn't even a hint at what caused this. The issue just ends.

Now I'm all for ominous endings and cliff-hangers, but this definitely crosses the line into WTF territory. Isn't this how the last issue ended? Hope went unconsciousness and that got everybody worried? I know recycling old ideas is necessary sometimes, but after one issue? I know Axel Alonso isn't the X-editor anymore, but someone should have picked up on that or at least told Gillen "give it a few more issues before you start using that old trick again." It's a less than dramatic ending to a book that was otherwise solid on all fronts.

Regardless of the Hope/Jean mess that Marvel is trying desperately to ignore and a weak ending, it's hard to get around just how awesome this issue was. Kieron Gillen has taken Generation Hope and turned it into a strong, viable series in a mere three issues. I admit the first issue left me somewhat skeptical, but this one along with issue 2 sent a clear message. Hope Summers and the Five Lights can deliver a solid shot of awesome directly into the awesomeness receptors of your brain. Kieron Gillen really has captured the deepest essence of X-men in this book. It takes young teenagers and gives them mutant powers they didn't ask for and don't understand. It's up to characters like Hope and Cyclops to show these young mutants how to use those powers and how to be X-men. The whole young mutants trying to digest everything that's happening to them really has been captured here. This along with the solid characterization, dialog, and art make Generation Hope one of the strongest X-books on the shelves.

Generation Hope #3 was by far the strongest issue thus far, but the two noteworthy flaws I mentioned prevent me from giving it a perfect score. While Gillen has done a good job with the finer details of this issue and this series thus far, the 900 pound meth-addicted gorilla with a massive hard-on in the room remains. In this issue more than any other, Hope carries herself as Jean Grey. It's been teased so much that it's getting OLD. There were times in this issue, especially with the first page, where Hope might as well have been Jean Grey. The Phoenix calling Hope "her child" and her reaching out to Cyclops are the kind of ploys that made Jean Grey famous. Hope in this issue could have easily been replaced with Grant Morrison's Jean Grey from New X-men and she would be the same character. I know I keep pounding the drum hard enough for my arms to fall off, but it's an issue that has been going on since Messiah Complex. The Hope/Jean connection remains ambiguous and purposefully so it seems. The more Hope carries herself like Jean, the more eye-rolling these stories are going to induce. If 2011 passes without at least some clarification, then the creative forces at Marvel will cross the line between being and ambiguous and just being douche-bags.

The Hope/Jean issue looks to plague Generation Hope for the foreseeable future. Never-the-less, Kieron Gillen's strong writing in every other field help make this series as awesome as it can be. This issue suffered from a weak ending, but otherwise it was the strongest issue to date. So as a final score I give Generation Hope #3 a 4.5 out of 5. It would be great if I could one day read this series without constantly confusing Hope and Jean Grey. Since Marvel insists on keeping Jean out of the picture while putting her in so many others (she's now in Marvel vs. Capcom 3 in case you fell of the planet for a few days) I'm stuck getting lightly mind-fucked by this series with every issue. Never-the-less, it's still pretty damn awesome so if a good mind-fucking is necessary to enjoy it then so be it! Nuff said!

X-men Supreme Update - New Pic For Issue 9: Off Night Part 2

I know I just updated yesterday. Sometimes I just can't stay away from the world of X-men Supreme. This fanfiction series is a big part of my life and I'm always trying to make it more awesome. And as it just so happens, that overall awesome has been enhanced thanks to new artwork from X-men Supreme's old friend, Brian Brinlee. Once again he has graced us with a new piece straight from the pages of X-men Supreme Volume 1: Mutant Revolution. I know it's been a while since the first volume ended, but I'm always looking for ways to enhance X-men Supreme and that includes parts already completed.

This latest masterpiece comes from Issue 9: Off Night Part 2 and features the likes of Lorna, Angel, and the Scarlet Witch. It brings to life one of the most action-packed scenes in the issue and is a worthy addition to the X-men Supreme Panels section! As always I deeply appreciate Mr. Brinlee's wonderful work. Please don't think he's the only one I allow to post art on this site. If anyone else out there would like to see their work posted and praised, please send it to me! Contact me and I'll be happy to post it if I feel it adds to the overall awesome of X-men Supreme. This fanfiction series has so much to offer and words aren't always enough to convey it. So please all you artists out there, share your talent with X-men Supreme!

As stated in the last post, I'm on schedule to finish the last arc of the Family and Fiends saga. The next step in X-men Supreme will arrive soon and I also hope to update other parts of the pics section as well. Thanks to everyone who has continued to support the X-men Supreme fanfiction series and I hope it continues through 2011. Excelsior!

Jack

X-men Supreme Issue 24: Family and Fiends Part 3 PREVIEW

It's officially 2011 and the X-men Supreme fanfiction series has already begun anew with Volume 2: War Powers. The first two issues have set the tone nicely, indroducing the likes of Nightcrawler and Black Tom Cassidy. They're just some of the characters that will find their way into the world of X-men Supreme throughout this volume. The next issue should introduce some other famous (or possibly infamous) faces. This fanfiction series has a long ways to go and many stories to tell. It continues with the final issue of the Family and Fiends arc. As always, I've prepared an extensive preview with a fan favorite face!

“Yee-haw! Keep portin’, Tex!” proclaimed Deadpool obnoxiously as he fired wildly with his guns, “This is more fun than a sack of rabid squirrels!”

Then Kurt appeared behind him and knocked the guns out of his hands. He then drop kicked him and grabbed him by the neck.

“Enough games! Vhere are zhey? Vhere are zhe ones responsible for my father’s death?!” he demanded.

“Damn! What the heck are you smoking and where can I get some?” taunted Deadpool.

“I’m not toying vith you, Deadpool!”

“And here I was hoping you were going to drag this out!” laughed the obnoxious mercenary, “Too bad I can’t egg you on! I really have no clue what the hell you’re talking about!”

“You’re lying!”

“Come on, do I look like the kind of guy who can keep a secret?” scoffed Deadpool, “I’m just here on a nice Sunday picnic with my buddies from the Hand! You’re wasting your time and a lot of your buddies for that matter!”

Kurt tensed at the mouthy merc’s words. He was definitely a few sandwiches shy of a picnic to say the least, but had a point. If he and the Hand did know something, they wouldn’t be secretive about it. They would be boasting about it. Whatever intel his mother gathered, it must have been faulty. It made no sense for his father’s murderers to be this oblivious. It was a harsh realization that may already be too late.

As he looked around, Kurt saw his Azazel brethren falling left and right. His ill-planned assault was catching up to them. The Hand was too well organized and his people were too outmanned. The Azazel had been devastated enough after the loss of his father. Now he was leading them to their ultimate demise. It left the young mutant dazed and at a loss for words. It was a distant state of mind that Deadpool took advantage off.

Breaking free from Kurt’s choke hold, Deadpool slugged the young mutant in the gut and knocked him back against a confessional booth. He then retrieved his guns and turned towards his allies in the Hand.

“Well that was fun!” he casually proclaimed, “Only one logical thing left to do.”

In a paradoxical gesture, he took out a small remote control and hit a large red button. As soon as he did, a series of sharp explosions ripped through the old building, causing fire and smoke to engulf the area. By now much of the Azazel were either dead or mortally wounded. The Hand had few losses to speak of. When they saw Deadpool’s actions, they instinctively regrouped and prepared to make their escape.

“Oh the irony!” he said in an overly dramatic tone, “Now it’s not going to be the Hand that’s responsible for destroying a church and killing the hostages! It’ll be the Azazel! I love it! Come on boys! Uncle Wade’s got some bills to pay and some beautiful ladies to put through college!”

Now that this arc is nearing it's end, I'll try to make some long overdue additions to the bios section. There are also a few new additions coming to the pics section as well so stay tuned for more updates! There's a lot I want to do with the X-men Supreme fanfiction series and I'm trying to make it the best it can possibly be. However, the feedback I've been getting has stalled. X-men Supreme is an extensive series so it's really important that all you fanfiction fans out there provide feedback. I haven't gotton much more comments with Volume 2 as I have with Volume 1. If anybody out there wants to talk comics, X-men, or fanfiction I'm more than happy to listen! Please contact me at any time. It's very important that I get plenty of feedback for this fanfiction series. It takes a lot of hard work to make it possible and it can only be truly awesome with feedback from the wonderful people who take the time to enjoy it. Thanks again and here's to a X-men Supreme caliber 2011! Excelsior!

Jack

X-23 #4 - Sinister Awesome (With Boobs)

Since X-23 was introduced as a character, she's been like the Eli Manning of comics. She doesn't have the stats of her predecessor (Wolverine/Peyton Manning), but she's found a way to earn respectability in the X-books unlike others (Daken, I'm looking at you're tattooed covered ass and not in a sexual way). She's had to escape the burden of being a Wolverine knock-off, which she's actually able to do quite nicely since she's a teenage girl and carries herself with a Carrie-esque type persona that really does set her apart. She could have easily been some random plot-thread on X-men Evolution that Craig Kyle and Chris Yost threw together while on the crapper. She's since had her story expanded with two origin series and a stint in X-Force. Now Marjorie Liu is doing the equivalent of Eli Manning's superbowl run in 2007 with her new series.

The first three issues were awesome. There's little way around that. However, they were somewhat limited. They were tied into the ongoing Wolverine Goes to Hell arc that's been going on in Wolverine's solo title. While it's nice to see a little extra continuity, the whole Hellverine story as it's come to be called has somewhat fizzled in the same way Vanilla Ice fizzled from the rap world. X-23's involvement lasted for three issues and that was just enough. Her getting caught up in Wolverine's shit felt like being stuck in line at airport security and having to get felt up by some undertrained TSA agents who may or may not be listed sex offenders. It did have purpose though.

By the end X-23 made a decision that she was going to leave the X-men despite Cyclops, Emma Frost, and Storm thinking she should stay and have some structure in her life (I seem to remember that being a policy of shitty public schools where they label kids drug dealers for bringing bottles of aspirin to class). Now X-23 is off on a journey of self-discovery. It's not quite like the spirit quest of a good LSD trip while running naked through the forest, but for a character that's in a transition period it opens plenty of possibilities.

X-23 #4 begins in a way many porno movies begin. An attractive teenage girl is walking down a long stretch of road looking to hitch a ride. It's not clear on how the hell she got from San Francisco out to the desert. If this is where her journey of self-discovery is taking her she could probably use a GPS or at least a compass. She does get picked up though, but not by some overly muscled douche-bag who has had six shots of viagra like in those porno movies I mentioned earlier. Laura just gets picked up by some random trucker who looks sort of like the guy who hauls fertilizer at Home Depot. It's probably the highlight of his life, picking up a pretty teenage girl. He doesn't do anything too creepy, but even he can see that X-23 is running. And when some random trucker can see you're journey isn't going anywhere, you're treading dangerously close to the shores of shits creek without your paddles.

This oh so wise trucker drives Laura to a diner (which if I recall is also a premise of certain porno movies) where she stops off for a bite. Along the way she passes a troubled girl hanging out with a guy who you can tell is modeled after every douche-bag jock from 80s teen movies. The girl's name is Alice and she's clearly troubled. Being a former prostitute herself from her NYX days, Laura offers to help her. She sees the signs and figures out said douche-bag is Alice's pimp. Already bearing a black eye, she tells Laura to stay out of it. Since Laura hasn't quite developed a Wolverine-like sense of duty, she listens. It's the kind of response that can only end in a certain level of disaster.

As the Zen masters often say to their pupils, the journey of self-discovery requires one to fall on their ass a few times. Or maybe that's what bumper stickers at a Grateful Dead concert say. Either way, Laura ends up learning this lesson because when she leaves the diner she ends up getting followed. Again, it's another plot often found in porno movies. I'm starting to see a trend here. If this is how Marvel gets their ideas then I may be inclined to respect Joe Quesada more.

The guy who followed her turns out to be Alice's pimp. He's in the process of giving Alice what pimps refer to as 'discipline lessons.' This involves beating the living shit out of Alice until she's dead. That doesn't go over well with X-23 for obvious reasons. So when the pimp isn't satisfied with killing one pretty girl, he sets his sights on Laura. She doesn't hesitate to embrace her inner Wolverine and take him out. Even though she's supposed to be on a new path, it's entirely forgivable that she rid the world of a guy who looks at women the same way Michael Vick looks at dogs.

Laura is left feeling pretty rotten. She smelled danger like Wolverine would usually do with Alice. Unlike Wolverine though, she wasn't proactive enough to save her. So Alice ended up dead. It's a nice way of showing that Laura really isn't at the same maturity level as the rest of the X-men. Sure, she took part in X-Force. But she's still a teenage girl. She's not going to make the right decisions experienced heroes can usually make. This time it cost her and she's got yet another burden to bear as if she didn't already have enough.

So it should be painfully clear at this point that X-23 seriously needs some guidance. Otherwise the douche bags of the world will keep robbing us of nice girls in need of a little love. This is where Gambit comes in. In the last issue of X-23, he was the one who dissented from Storm, Emma, and Cyclops. He believed Laura needed to leave. As a guy who ran away himself (from more than just his home) he does have insight. Granted, Gambit has been a bit of a douche lately in the comics. He still hasn't made up for the shit he did with Apocalypse and he hasn't even attempted to redeem himself since. Now he has a chance with Laura and for once he's portrayed as more than a chronic douche-bag.

Gambit helps her bury Alice and offers her a ride. They get away from the desert and to a wooded area. Honestly, I don't know how long it takes to go from desert to a place with trees. Either Gambit's motorcycle is rigged with ET style mojo or they're following a map from the Twilight zone. Whatever the scene, Gambit does a few quick card tricks with Laura that aren't quite as interesting as Chris Angel, but they do tell a story. Since he uses cards for damn near everything it makes sense he would use them to dig a little deeper into Laura's psyche because it's painfully clear even she doesn't know herself that well. He surmises that she's afraid despite being capable of killing a man without a second of hesitation or an ounce of remorse. She's afraid of imprisonment and there's a very uncontrolled element to her personality. It's no Dr. Phil, but it is an interesting take from a guy who has never taken a normal approach to damn near anything.

Laura seems sure of herself while being uncertain. It's as baffling as it sounds. Unless you have Dr.Phil's qualifications, you'll probably be scratching your head. But I get the sense that's what Marjorie Liu is aiming for. Laura is a work-in-progress as most teenagers are. Although one could argue that she's still pretty balanced compared to your typical teenage girl.

They hit the road again, on their way to Flagstaff. Apparently Arizona is a great place to find yourself so long as you're not a Mexican. Laura and Gambit end up getting treated like Mexicans though because they run into a police barricade. They don't get searched for drugs or smuggling migrants across the boarder, but Laura does get quite a shock when she sees Alice alive and well. And by alive and well I mean in the creepy sense of those two girls at the end of the hall in the Shining.

In her current state Laura would be inclined to stick around and get some answers. Remy on the other hand is experienced enough to understand that when a dead girl shows up like this it's usually better to run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Alice throws a nasty trick into the mix though. She brings up Laura's mother, who for all those who know the history of X-23 was killed by X-23 herself. That's enough to draw Laura in like free lines of cocaine at Robert Downy Jr.'s birthday party.

Now it's not entirely clear what happens after this. Remy seems to follow 'Alice' on his motorcycle and all the cop cars follow them as well. There's no mention of what these cop cars are even for or even if they're real. It's also not clear how they get to a new setting so fast. It's confused, like there's a missing page or something. I had to go back and forth a few times and make sure I hadn't smoked too much weed (or not enough). However it happened Laura and Gambit end up in some old west style Ghost town. 'Alice' goes onto explain that she's the real Alice, whatever that means. The guy Laura thought was her pimp wasn't her pimp. She was her handler (as if that's all that different from a pimp?). Her job was to lure Laura out to this place that looks like a set from a John Wayne movie. She failed the first time. She succeeded this time.

Now that Alice has Laura where she wants her, Laura wants answers. When someone mentions her mother it's a big deal and not in a yo-mamma's-so-fat-joke kind of way. She gets her answers pretty damn quickly and it's not pretty (but it is sexy as hell). Remember the end of the last issue? The one where Miss Sinister made a brief appearance? Well Marjorie Liu wasn't fucking with the readers. As it turns out it's Miss Sinister who wanted to lure Laura in. And she did it while wearing a sexy cowgirls uniform that looks like it was purchased for a strip club. She claims to have answers in addition to a great rack. This is where the book ends and for most male readers, it ends on a hell of a high note! When in doubt, a good ending is always made awesome when boobs are included.

So I think it's safe to say that Laura's personal journey is off to a rocky start. Who would have thought that hitch-hiking through the desert would lead to so much trouble? Oh wait, I forgot that horror movies as well as porno movies start out that way. It's a fitting environment for X-23 in a ways because she's drawn to trouble and trouble is drawn to her. Marjorie Liu does another fine job of taking X-23 through this trouble in a way that's believable and compelling for a teenage girl with a long list of issues. Gambit's inclusion is also nicely done. It helps tie this book into the greater realm of X-books and gives Gambit something to do other than mess things up with Rogue. Bringing Miss Sinister into the picture at the end was a great way to build up the next conflict. You just can't go wrong with adding boobs to Sinister.

While Marjorie Liu has been pitching a shutout with this series thus far, this issue did have some flaws. The whole pacing and scene transitions were somewhat sloppy. There was a poor sense of time flow. It went from the desert to the woods to the desert again. It's confusing not to mention distracting. It's like blacking out through few episodes of Lost. It's difficult to catch up and you still end up confused when you do. While this was the only issue among solid art, character development, dialogue, and everything else. It is still a pretty significant issue that's hard to ignore.

I still love this series. Marjorie Liu is making a strong case for her being THE visionary for X-23. She's made X-23 so compelling and a real joy to follow. She's also setting the stage for a new plot involving Miss Sinister and that definitely earns her a spot near the top of Mount Awesome. When scoring this issue I can't give it a perfect score due to the whole pacing thing. However, I can't give it too low a score either because Liu does plenty to make this book engaging. So for X-23 #4 I give it a 4 out of 5. It's an awesome book that should leave X-23 fans squealing like pre-teen girls at a Justin Biebier concert. There's so much potential for this title and so long as Marjorie Liu continues to utilize it, X-23 will remain at the top of my pull list. Nuff said!

X-men #6 - Lifting the Curse

A new year is upon us! Fuck 2010! Fuck that extra zero! 2011 is a new year full of new hope. At least that's what everybody likes to think after that oversized bowling ball with Snooki curled up inside would like to think. The shift in one digit only changes so much. Your dick doesn't get bigger. Your shit still stinks. And the comics that sucked in 2010 still suck in 2011. That's where the latest incarnation of the adjectiveless X-men series comes in.

2010 spawned many X-books, but it was the one with the least imaginative title that drew some of the harshest scrutiny. This is the book that's supposed to tie the X-men into the greater Marvel universe. It emerged from the ashes of Second Coming. The X-men are no longer the morticians sharpening their tools for the final autopsy of the mutant race. They're part of a race that's actually got a chance to survive thanks to some cute redhead with the Phoenix Force who looks suspiciously like Jean Grey. The new X-men series started in the midst of the vampire craze where every other gay joke was coupled with a Twilight reference. Curse of the Mutants took Marvel's vampires, who must have been trying to wait out the whole Twilight craze, and brought them back into the fold. It was billed as an old school monster movie, mutants vs. vampires. It even got Blade involved, who has had less screen time Jackie Chan's stunt double in recent years. What could go wrong?

It started off so strong. Curse of the Mutants brought Jubilee back into the picture, turning her into a vampire and making her more badass than she's ever been (and more doable now that she's okay with wearing skin-tight leather). It also brought Xarus, the son of Dracula, into the fold. He's very much a derivation of Dracula, but he has a level of charisma that sets him apart. He pitted himself against the X-men and the potential for awesome was vast. However, that awesome was never realized. In X-men #5 the two armies clashed and it was about as epic as watching a caterpillar wrestle a meal-worm. It ended up being horribly contrived. One minute the vampires were winning. Then the next Cyclops cures Wolverine from his vampire-ism. Then the mutants start winning. It's about as interesting as it sounds. There's no depth or detail. It's the equivalent of copying and pasting one glob of shit to another. It doesn't make it stink any less.

All that build-up really fizzled and now there's not much to improve on for X-men #6. Never-the-less, the story needs completing in the same way you can't leave a wad of shit hanging from your ass. Xarus is still left pondering the collapse of his scrotum. Then Dracula enters the scene (who, mind you, pretty much vanished as a plot point after issue 2) and confronts his son. He must have been waiting for his son to get his ass handed to him because when Xarus orders his vampire minions to kill his father they look at him the same way deers look at an oncoming minivan.

On top of this the X-men are on their way so Xarus is cornered worse than Mark Foley in an elementary school shower. Since none of his vampire cronies are going to risk taking sides, they let Xarus do his own dirty work. He certainly takes a stab at it. He has daddy issues, remember? Anyone who ever tried to go up against their old man before they had any hair on their balls knows what dumb move that can be. To make matters worse the X-men arrive in full force and tear through the vampires as if they were manikins in a Jackass movie. It's a fairly bland fight with no intricate details to set it apart. You won't see too much that catches your eye. The scene with Xarus and Dracula is drawn out much better which may be the same as saying it's the less smellier wad of shit.

Eventually, dear old dad gives his little boy a spanking of a kind that Catholic Nuns can only dream of. Despite Xarus lashing out like a toddler in the cereal isle of a supermarket, he gets beaten hard by Dracula. How hard you may ask? Dracula sends the right fatherly message by ripping his son's head off. That bears repeating. Dracula rips his son's head off. That's the kind of extreme parenting that even MTV wouldn't show for it's Teen Mom series (yet).

Extreme or not, it does put an end to the vampire attack. Dracula makes it clear that he's the boss again. Ripping your son's head off is gruesome, but it does make clear that you're not dicking around. So now he's the top dog of the vampires again and just in time too. The X-men arrive, coming in without a scratch from their battle with the vampire hoards. Again, it's lacking on details and such. It's like a Michael Bay movie without the explosions.

Dracula is actually welcoming. He hasn't forgotten that the X-men brought him back to life. So he doesn't fight them. However, Blade being Blade can't resist a shot at taking out the Lord of the Vampires and the one that inspired the creation of Edward Cullen. While Cyclops tries to be diplomatic, Blade goes in for the kill. Then in a dick move that won't win Cyclops any new members to his fanclub, he shoots Blade in the back to knock him out. There are people out there who since Messiah Complex have jumped at the chance to hate Cyclops in the same way Hugh Hefner jumps at the chance to marry another blond with big tits. Even if the rest of the book sucks, they'll love this.

What the Cyclops-hating crowd won't like is the way he negotiates a cease-fire with Dracula. Remember, they're kind of at war with vampires and the X-men are war with enough people at the moment. Dracula can't seem to resist taking advantage of the situation. Even though he beheaded his son, he pretty much steals his idea like a Nigerian hacker and offers the same partnership between mutants and vampires. It does make sense and Darcula would be an idiot not to see it, but Cyclops isn't buying it.

This is where the Cyclops does show that if he ever made it onto celebrity poker, he would kick everyone's asses. He implies to Dracula that when they brought him back, they made sure there was a contingency plan as he put it in case he screwed them over. He was purposefully vague. It could be anything from his head exploding to him having to wipe Stephine Meyers' ass for all eternity. Now Dracula could have called his bluff, but he doesn't. Either he's smarter than his son or he lacks the balls. Either way, it's an unceremonious yet fitting way to end the conflict between mutants and vampires.

So that's it. The vampires leave San Francisco in the care of mutants and radical left-wing hippie liberals while the mutants go back to Utopia (so who actually won?). Dracula is even nice enough to let them take Jubilee, who got pimp slapped when she tried to defend Xarus. Since she's still a vampire, she's confined to a cell. She's not weak and puny anymore, but she's not her perky self again either. She's potentially dangerous, much more so than she was as a mutant. That opens the door to all sorts of other conflicts.

Blade certainly sees the danger. He goes back with the X-men, but he's not looking to pick up a uniform along the way. He still is of the mind that the only good vampire is a dead vampire. He's basically one of the radical anti-Twilight fans. He believes she's gotta be staked to end it. Wolverine won't have it though. He makes it clear that Blade has worn out his welcome and needs to go back to raising money to paying Wesley Snipes's back taxes.

It ends the whole Blade/X-men team-up on a sour note. It shows that not all the Marvel heroes are not the Superfriends. They don't always get along or like each other. But Blade's departure pretty much ends the series where it began. However, the Mutants vs. Vampires story does end with a major change to the world of X. Jubilation Lee is no longer just another teenage girl who hangs out with strange people (who doesn't become a groupie for a traveling punk band). She has powers again and she's dangerous. She tricked Wolverine earlier. That's enough to earn respect in any corner of the Marvel universe. So her story takes a radical turn and opens the door for new possibilities. It's a shitty path to get to where she is now, but for Jubilee fans it certainly is satisfying to see her being relevant again.

The final issue of Curse of the Mutants comes as a relief. This series started strong, but it stumbled hard. It was like one of those ideas where a writer comes in drunk to a meeting and blurts out the first thing on his mind. Mutants vs. Vampires...it practically writes itself! Well if it were that easy everybody would be qualified to write for Marvel. The problem is depth. To Victor Gischler's credit, he tried to add interesting details to the story. They just didn't pan out in the end. The way the fight between mutants and vampires was put together was glossed over. It was like someone just said to throw some pretty pictures on the page and that would be enough. It wasn't. For a comic to be awesome, it needs more than something a trained monkey can pull off. It needs the little things to make a big difference. Curse of the Mutants lacked those little things in too many ways.

Now maybe I am being overly harsh out of bitterness over the last issue. I'll grant that this issue was an improvement, but after the last issue that improvement only goes so far. It didn't overwrite the flaws in the previous issue. It even borrowed a few. Never-the-less, it effectively tied up the loose ends. The vampires are gone. The X-men are victories. All is well, but not completely. Jubilee's current state definitely changes things. It opens the door to new stories and actually does something that could affect the other X-books. For that, the book deserves a pat on the back in addition to a kick in the balls.

When scoring this issue it's hard to ignore the inherent flaws in the overall arc. It can't make up for how lousy some other parts of the story were, but since it does make for a fairly clean ending I can't give it the same low score I gave the previous issue. So in the end I give X-men #6 a 2.5 out of 5. It's not much of an improvement, but it doesn't completely destroy the premise of the book. It's still a good idea, having a book dedicated to working the X-men into the greater Marvel Universe. The name is still horribly unoriginal, but it still has potential. It's the little things that Marvel needs to take care of if this book is to live up to it's title. 2011 has just begun. There's plenty of time to make it awesome. Nuff said!