Revealing Strengths and Vulnerabilities: Superman #39

The following is my review of Superman #39, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

The concept of a secret identity is a lot harder to contemplate in an era where identities are only as secretive as a botched instagram post. It was probably a lot easier decades ago when only the CIA, the DEA, and George Lucas utilized elaborate camera tricks. So someone like Clark Kent could get away with having a secret identity, especially with all the skills and powers that come along with being Superman. Over his history, he’s had to elaborate and creative. He’s not like Batman, who has enough money and gadgets to make most of his identity issues go away. But in this era, elaborate and creative just isn’t enough.

This creates a logistical problem of sorts for Superman. He lives in an era where phone booths are as extinct as eight-track tapes and everyone has a camera in their pocket. Yet somehow he’s still able to keep his identity secret from his friends, his family, the NSA, and Fox News. It’s one of those issues that’s easy to shrug off because it’s been part of Superman’s mythos since the 1940s, a time when a camera cost a mortgage payment. But after discovering a new power and keeping all his secrets solely amongst the Justice League, he’s taken a chance and revealed his identity to someone.

It’s overdue and it lacks impact, but it’s still an important development. Superman #39 explores that development in wake of the conflict surrounding Ulysses. It’s a development that didn’t have much of a transition, but it still counts as a pivotal moment for Superman. It even ends up being more than pivotal. It offers a refreshing insight into what makes Superman the ideal by which all heroes are measured.

The revelation itself isn’t the center of the story. It essentially starts a conversation that ends up going way beyond the merits of a secret identity in the 21^st century. Jimmy Olson’s reaction is fairly predictable. It’s not overdone or overly dramatic. For a character like Jimmy Olson, that’s appropriate. He’s still this wide-eyed kid who sees the world from the perspective of someone whose spirit hasn’t been crushed by mortgages, bills, and the IRS.

To Jimmy Olson, his best friend being Superman is like finding out his best friend just bought a Ferrari. It’s shocking, but in a good way. Nobody faints. Nobody gets mad. He doesn’t whine about his friend lying to him all these years. He just accepts it and embraces this revelation. It might come off as bland, but it’s not callous. He doesn’t shrug it off or get overly worked up. And it’s because Jimmy’s reaction is so healthy that Superman can offer some perspective about what he’s going through.

In addition to revealing his identity, Superman is also dealing with not having his powers for a day. It’s one of the unfortunate side-effects of his latest Dragonball Z derived ability to generate a solar flare. But not having his powers doesn’t cripple him. He doesn’t tremble with fear and he doesn’t carry himself like he’s not Superman anymore. He actually embraces the opportunity to be fully human and having someone like Jimmy Olson to share the experience with makes it meaningful.

It’s probably the most mature way anyone has ever responded to a loss. Most people have a nervous breakdown whenever they drop their cell phone in the toilet. Superman lost the power that makes him Superman. That’s a lot more serious than simply not being able to Tweet from an elevator. But this loss doesn’t cause Superman to curl up into a fetal position and pray to Rao for the strength. It doesn’t even stop him from being Superman and this is where the true impact of the story shows.

Even though he’s fully human and completely vulnerable, Superman still doesn’t hesitate to help people in need. When a girl falls out of a tree, he helps her. When a crazed gunman takes a hostage, he does something about it. He does it when he’s just Clark Kent in normal street clothes. He also does it while he’s wearing his Superman armor. Not having his powers doesn’t change that in the slightest. He’s still Superman. He can still be the hero everyone needs him to be without his powers. In that sense, even other heroes who might complain about not being able to lift a freight train have no excuse.

The story doesn’t contain much in the form of style, nor does it offer anything decidedly epic like Superman’s final battle against Ulysses. But it does offer a beautiful reminder of why Superman is so iconic. It shows that Superman doesn’t do what he does because of his powers. In fact, his powers wouldn’t even rank in top five in terms of reasons why he’s the ideal by which all heroes are measured. He does the right thing, regardless of whatever power he may or may not have. That ideal is and always has been Superman’s greatest power.

This underlying theme is the greatest strength of the story. It’s a theme worth reinforcing. It’s easy to forget in between clashes with Lex Luthor and battles against alien warlords that Superman is more than the breadth of his powers. There will always be some satisfaction to the stories where he decks Lex Luthor and flies off with Lois Lane into the sunset. But there’s a different kind of satisfaction in stories that show why Superman embodies the ideals of so many heroes before and since his creation. It could be argued that him punching out Lex Luthor is more satisfying, but reinforcing those ideals is definitely more meaningful.

The story in Superman #39 isn’t overly epic. Revealing his identity to Jimmy Olsen doesn’t make for an overwhelming narrative, but it still does so in a meaningful way. It just ends up becoming secondary once Superman gets a chance to be Superman without his powers. It’s easy to be inspired by a man who isn’t afraid to do the right thing even when he can’t punch through a brick wall. But with or without Superman’s powers, it still doesn’t make glasses a viable disguise.

Final Score: 8 out of 10

Strangers In Paradise Chapter 11: Broken Dreams is LIVE!

I've noticed that for the most part, comics put a lot of effort into the story that hooks two characters up and only ever gives half the amount of fucks necessary to develop that relationship. It's like once two characters get together, everyone just shrugs and leaves it at that. Because that's exactly how it works in the real world apparently. That's all there is to this romance and love shit.

I wish there was a font for sarcasm because that would have made that last paragraph so much more meaningful. Instead, I'll just come out and say until recently, comics have sucked donkey balls at developing meaningful romance. That's why I've found the way DC has developed the Superman/Wonder Woman relationship so refreshing. They didn't just put them together. They've actually shown a little progression. Granted, that progression has been slow. But it's still world's better than some of the shit I've seen with other relationships. That's exactly what I'm trying to capture with my own Superman/Wonder Woman story.

I went to great lengths to make getting Superman and Wonder Woman together in a meaningful way. But that's not even half the story. That's an important part, but there's a lot more shit to deal with that I want to explore. Now that Clark and Diana are together, how are they going to progress? Can their relationship deal with the challenges that come? That's exactly what I'll be exploring moving forward and this latest chapter starts that process.

Strangers In Paradise

Chapter 11: Broken Dreams

Not every epic romance has to be built on the same misguided principles that made Twilight way more successful than it deserved to be. Good romance can emerge in a way that's balanced and compelling. It can both soak panties and evoke boners. It shouldn't be restricted to one gender or one kind of underwear. And that's what I hope to develop here with Strangers In Paradise. If I can make both genders equally horny by the end, then I'll know I've succeeded. Nuff said!

X-men Supreme Issue 117: Fate and Uncertainty PREVIEW!

The X-men have always fought for progress in the face of constant destruction. There are a lot of enemies working against them, human and mutant alike. I've utilized more than a few of those enemies in the X-men Supreme fanfiction series. Each enemy has done more than their share of destruction. Magneto overthrew an island government and turned it into a mutant nation. Sinister and Selene attempted to usurp the power of Mount Anton in Nova Roma. Graydon Creed attempted to turn a man into a living Sentinel named Bastion to destory all mutants. In each conflict, the X-men stopped the crisis. However, it still left plenty of damage. That damage has changed the course of this fanfiction series at times and the end of the Fantomex conflict will be no exception.

Once again, the X-men had to take on a very cunning enemy. Colonel Wraith, Reverend Stryker, and Graydon Creed aren't like Magneto or Sinister. They don't carry themselves with a larger-than-life persona. They don't try to overthrow the established order either. They try to take it over. Colonel Wraith and Reverend Stryker tried to do just that by creating Weapon Plus. The X-men naturally got caught in the crossfire and not just because of their history with Weapon X either. They made this conflict personal for the X-men because of Fantomex's connection to Sage, Wolverine, and X-23. Old scars were opened. New wounds were created. Some finally began to heal. However, the impact to the world of X-men Supreme will go far beyond personal.

Fantomex did damage on a scale that threatens to disrupt the already-fragile environment within this fanfiction series. One of the major themes in X-men Supreme Volume 5: Dark Truths is built around the fragile peace that was created after Magneto's disappearance at the end of the Time Bomb arc. The X-men, President Kelly, and General Grimshaw tried to coordinate with Wanda Maximoff and the Brotherhood of Mutants to forge a new peace between Genosha and the rest of the world. Fantomex completely undermined that peace when he got Genosha involved when for once, Genosha had nothing to do with this conflict.

It's the kind of collatoral damage that will cause more than a few upheavals in the X-men Supreme fanfiction series. That damage has to be confronted on both a personal level and in terms of the bigger picture. How will the X-men and General Grimshaw maintain peace when they just gave Genosha a very good reason not to trust them? That's going to be their next challenge as they pick up the pieces from Weapon Plus in the next issue. Once again, I’ve prepared a preview on this blog to offer a glimpse at what Weapon X's latest failure will bring.

“Colonel Jonathan Wraith built his career on living weapons,” mused General Nathan Grimshaw, “He caused so much pain and ruined so many lives, but when the time comes to hold him accountable…he dies.”

“I’m not sure if you’re disappointed or relieved, General,” said President Robert Kelly.

“I’m guilty of both, sir. Although personally, I’m a lot more disappointed.”

It was not every day that crime scene investigators arrived at the White House to document a murder. The local authorities joined with the FBI, the CIA, the Defense Department, and Secret Service to investigate the death of Colonel John Wraith. It came as a surprise to many, even President Kelly. Colonel Wraith had escaped justice many times before. He tried to do so again after failing to activate a failsafe on Fantomex. But this time he failed. When he tried to escape, the President put the White House on lockdown. It lasted only 30 minutes, ending after the Secret Service found his dead body.

Colonel Wraith’s devious endeavors were over. A number of Secret Service agents and soldiers from the Pentagon cordoned off the room while a team of investigators documented the scene. Wraith’s body was covered in a white sheet, but his mangled neck could still be seen. Whoever killed him had done so with their bare hands. It was an inglorious yet fitting end. Even in death, John Wraith left quite a mess.

“I won’t say this is a tragedy, but it sure does complicate things,” said President Kelly, “Wraith’s work on living weapons is highly classified. We can’t put out a report that he died because he was involved with some secret (not to mention illegal) program.”

“I hope that means you won’t give him a full military burial, complete with flowers and a twenty gun salute,” said General Grimshaw.

“Hell no! But we can’t just dump his body in the Potomac. We’ll have to fudge the details a bit. Make it sound like a long-festering illness finally caught up with him.”

“That’s not entirely false, Mr. President,” said the General.

“Half-truths to be far more tenable than outright lies. Although in this instance, I don’t think it makes a difference. The damage has been done.”

President Kelly bowed his head and turned away from the body. He couldn’t stand to look at it anymore. He couldn’t even watch as the EMT’s placed Wraith in a body bag so that he could be shipped off to the nearest morgue. Instead, he turned his attention to a nearby window. As President of the United States, there weren’t enough half-truths to make this incident more bearable.

“Mr. President, if I may…” began General Grimshaw.

“I’d rather you not, General. I’ve got enough on my mind,” sighed President Kelly, “Captain Freeman sent a report from Genosha ten minutes ago. All it said was the X-men and the Maximoff Twins were able to stop Fantomex. They didn’t kill him or bring him in. They just stopped him.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“It should be. Who knows what kind of horrors he would have unleashed? But it doesn’t just relate to Fantomex. The MSA in District X also informed me that Wraith was working with Graydon Creed, who was supposed to be in federal prison. Hell, Wraith probably helped him escape!”

“At least we’ll have someone alive that we can hold responsible,” made Grimshaw.

“Even so, it adds a darker taint to something that was tainted to begin with. Between Weapon Plus and Graydon Creed’s involvement, Wanda Maximoff has a long list of reasons to be upset with us. And this time, we’re the ones who brought danger to them. Not the other way around.”

“Considering the stunts Magneto has pulled, I wouldn’t say we’re even just yet,” the General pointed out.

“People have a short memory, General. Circumstances are always changing. Genosha is a vital ally. It still has the technology the rest of the world has come to depend on. Now every mutant on that island has more reason to re-think that deal.”

“I doubt they’ll abandon it. This is a case of stepping in a pile of political cow-pies. It will require we show some humility, but in my experience shit is easier to clean than blood.”

“It’s not humility that concerns me. I’m willing to apologize for giving men like Wraith a forum for his sadistic vision,” said President Kelly distantly as he gazed over the Washington DC cityscape, “The part of this that will keep me up at night is why I allowed it to happen.”

“It wasn’t just you, Mr. President,” the General pointed out, “You were as upset as I was after the prison break at Fort Leavenworth. We were so upset that we questioned our ability. So like lazy Americans, we looked for a quick fix.”

“Don’t try to dilute the blame, General. The buck still stops with me. I still gave a chance to a man who should have been court marshaled decades ago. What’s that say about me? What does that say about the precedent I’m setting? I wanted to confront this threat before it blew up in our faces. Now it just seems adding more fuel to the fire.”

General Grimshaw was silent. President Kelly had always distinguished himself as a politician by speaking more truth than his colleagues. This was one of those cases where the truth was harsher than any lie. But he as a general was as guilty as everyone else. He was so upset with the X-men and his inability to carry out his duties for the MSA that he actually gave credence to Weapon Plus. He sought an easy solution when he should have been working harder on the current solution.

This rare taste of humility was bittersweet, but it had the right impact on both men. They were in positions of great influence. The decisions they made had great impact. It wasn’t as easy as expecting the sheer weight of their authority to get the job done. Everything they did had consequences and at this level, those consequences could be severe.

“So how do we move forward, Mr. President?” asked General Grimshaw, breaking the silence.

“That’s a question that doesn’t have a clear answer, General,” said President Kelly, “We have to mend things with Genosha, clean up in District X, and reclaim confidence within the MSA. We have to work a little bit harder to show we don’t need something like Weapon Plus to solve our problems.”

“Sounds like a tough sell. And this from someone who’s always up for a challenge.”

“We’ll have to rise to the occasion. This is one of those incidents that cast doubt along with a new perspective. For once, it wasn’t some mutant zealot like Magneto who brought this on. It was entirely on our shoulders.”

“You think maybe humanity might be as big a problem as mutants in the grand scheme of things?”

“I wouldn’t go quite that far, but we should always be open to the possibility,” the President sighed, “History is never on the side of the aggressors. Fate tends to draw us down the easier path. But nine times out of ten, the harder path tends to be the right one.”

The damage done by the Weapon Plus arc brings X-men Supreme Volume 5: Dark Truths closer to its defining moment. That moment has been building for quite some time now, going back to some of the earliest issues of this fanfiction series. I go to great lengths to create a rich, compelling narrative for the X-men. And with arcs like Weapon Plus, it's important I know that work is bearing fruit. So please take the time to provide feedback for X-men Supreme as it unfolds. either contact me directly or post your feedback in the issues. Either way is fine. I'm always happy to chat. Until next time, take care and best wishes. Excelsior!

Jack

Inversions and Humility: Uncanny X-men #32 PREVIEW!

Remember when the idea of inverted heroes and villains sounded interesting without the aid of weed? Yeah, me neither. It seems so long ago that AXIS was a big fucking deal. Maybe it's because Marvel began hyping up Secret Wars and Star Wars before the corpse on AXIS began to decompose. But AXIS did have some pretty significant consequences, some of which haven't been addressed. And when some comic book fans have attention spans only as long as their next joint, that can be a problem.

One of those consequences that I'm sure most people forgot about was Havok staying inverted and joining Cyclops' New Xavier School. Now I don't deny that I've given Havok a lot of shit since he became a central character on Uncanny Avengers. To be fair, he earned every scrap of that fecal-fueled criticism. He had his moments later on, but he was a dick in some pretty big moments. Now that he's inverted like Sabretooth and Iron man, he has the potential to be way worse or way better. Like a young Jenna Jameson, he could go either way.

But in addition to Havok being inverted, he's coming at a time when Cyclops is closing the New Xavier School. He just rejected Charles Xavier's generous inheritance that would've given him enough money to pay every person on the planet to tell Hank McCoy to go fuck himself. And after some time travel shenanigans with Tempus, he's no longer confident in his ability to lead a mutant revolution. And now he has to do it with an inverted brother. I'm low on weed, but I think that helps make things interesting again and a preview from Newsarama shows just that.

Newsarama: Uncanny X-men #32 PREVIEW

So Havok is now stuck being an ass while Cyclops is in an overdue state of humility. I'm not sure that balances anything out, but I'm pretty sure it's going to fuck a few things up. In some ways, it regresses Cyclops. He started the New Xavier School to start rebuilding his reputation after Avengers vs. X-men. He took a big shit on that reputation during the Last Will and Testament of Charles Xavier. So what's he going to do now? If he ditches his school, is he just going to keep hiding from the Avengers and occasionally funnel a few unfortunate mutants to the Jean Grey Institute? It's hard to say. It sounds more poorly planned than the screenplay for Battlefield Earth. But even if it ends up being a total clusterfuck, it could still be entertaining. Nuff said!

Scanned Thoughts: Cyclops #11

We all tell crazy lies at some point in our lives. Sometimes we do it to get ahead. Sometimes we do it to get laid. Sometimes we do it because we work at Fox News and lying is the only way Rupert Murdoch can get an erection anymore. Contrary to what the hippies may say, most lies are harmless. But certain lies can do a fuckton of damage if they come out the wrong way. Most of us learn that lesson in our youth, especially during our teen years. O5 Cyclops is learning that lesson in the hardest way possible.

For once, Cyclops did everything right. He did the right thing for the right reason. He saved his father from Captain Malafect. He even went out of his way to save Captain Malafect’s crew when he didn’t have to. Even the assholes who still bust his balls for what happened with Madelyne Pryor have to admit he’s done all the right things. But that just wasn’t enough for Vileena, the hot alien girl who wanted to show him her inter-species mating rituals. Even alien teenage girls don’t give a shit about the circumstances. He lied to her and that pisses her off in a way that justifies ball busting torture. It’s a tough lesson that men have to learn at some point in their lives and O5 Cyclops gets to learn it in Cyclops #11. But it’s going to be an important lesson, especially if he’s going to survive dating Emma Frost.

First, he has to survive being the latest of Vileena’s unfortunate love interests. As it turns out, she has a bit of a history with cute young pirates. And it’s not unlike the same history a hungry piranha has with a wounded duck. It’s revealed through some flashbacks that O5 Cyclops isn’t the first hormonal male who has been smitten with Vileena’s charms. And like the Hilton kids, she never hesitates to exploit her family’s resources.

She wants her father to torture O5 Cyclops in every horrible way imaginable and a teenage girl can imagine some pretty fucked up shit. And I’m sure under most circumstances Captain Malafect wouldn’t hesitate to listen to his precious little girl’s whining the same way Paris Hilton’s family entertained her failed music career. There’s just one big fucking problem. They’re in a busted ship and the big fancy weapon they hoped to sell for a fuckton of money is broken. And since badass pirates can’t afford to be broke, they have to work smart. Money does indeed trump whiney teenage girls. It’s one of the few forces that can.

This takes the conflict to a special little hell hole called Tjaro-6. It’s basically an even shittier version of Mos Eisleys in Star Wars. It’s basically a pirate’s den, but it doesn’t just trade in weapons, ships, and Wookie furs. It also trades in slaves. It’s basically what sweatshop owners wish existed. And this is where Malafect wants to take O5 Cyclops and Corsair. I think on some levels Vileena would be okay with that.

But it’s not just Corsair and O5 Cyclops who have to enjoy this colorful speck of hell in the galaxy. The rest of the Starjammers were lucky enough to be rescued by slave traders. And where do slave traders go to take their cargo? I guess Tjaro-6 is the Wal-Mart of slaves. Now this also makes for a galactic level coincidence. The Starjammers just happened to be picked up by slave traders and they just happen to end up in the same place as Corsair and O5 Cyclops. Even if Tjaro-6 is the Wal-Mart of slaves, it’s still quite a coincidence. I won’t say it’s overly contrived. They’re pirates. I imagine they cross paths with slave traders at least once a week. So it does fit in that context. It just feels too convenient in a galaxy large enough to have more than one slave post.

Convenience or not, it still makes for a less-than-pleasant reunion between Corsair and his crew. They arrive shortly after Hepzibah and the others are thrown into cells. So if he and O5 Cyclops were hoping the rest of the Starjammers would rescue them, he can pretty much flush that down the toilet along with his dignity. They don’t even give him the courtesy of a conjugal visit. These are slave traders, not medium security prisons, not discount motels along the Jersey Turnpike. However, I imagine the beds are just as comfortable.

Before Corsair and O5 Cyclops get thrown into a cell, O5 Cyclops attempts to reason with Kratyr. He’s the big yellow Thing rip-off who O5 Cyclops went out of his way to save during their battle against the Shi’ar. He’s not Captain Malafect and he’s not Vileena. O5 Cyclops never broke his heart or made him horny. He has a reason to help O5 Cyclops. He’s the one who directly benefited from O5 Cyclops’ annoying tendency to be a boy scout. But it wasn’t enough. He still throws them in a slave cell, knowing they’ll probably get sold into an alien plantation or an alien zoo, whoever has deeper pockets pays better.

However, the torture and indignation that O5 Cyclops and Corsair would endure as slaves still isn’t enough for Vileena. Like a spoiled rich girl who is upset over having one less Bentley than her neighbor, she demands that O5 Cyclops die. It’s a perfectly irrational demand for any teenage girl to make, alien or otherwise. The problem is that few badass space pirates succeed by listening to the whims of teenage girls and Captain Malafect understands this.

He calmly explains to her that killing O5 Cyclops and Corsair will just make things harder for them in the long run. Their ship already got fucked up after their battle with the Shi’ar. They need money in order to fix it. Since the starcracker is trashed, they need to sell O5 Cyclops and Corsair as slaves. That way they have the money to fix their ship and get the fuck away from the Shi’ar before they can come looking for their missing starcracker. It’s a perfectly reasonable explanation. It makes good sense from a pragmatic and logistical level. But since when has that ever been enough to satisfy a pissed off teenager? Being reasonable and pragmatic just doesn’t compute for an immature teenage mind. Captain Malafect might as well be trying to convince a dog not to lick its balls.

This puts O5 Cyclops and Corsair in a very bad position. They’re about to be sold off as slaves. They even watch as the rest of the Starjammers get sold off and hauled away. This is usually the time where most people just start shitting themselves and not bother to ask for a change of underwear. Corsair certainly seems ready to take a knee, but O5 Cyclops remains convinced that they have to fight. Like I said, teenage minds simply can’t compute logistics sometimes. Corsair says they need a miracle, but they end up getting the next best thing.

Remember O5 Cyclops’ annoying tendency to be a boy scout and how that ended up screwing them over by helping Malafect? Well, it also ended up saving their miserable asses because the shackles on them just suddenly unlock. It’s not a miracle. O5 Cyclops figures out it comes courtesy of Kratyr, the Thing rip-off he went out of his way to save earlier. He set their shackles to unlock themselves. That way they can save themselves and he doesn’t screw himself over. It’s not just a perfect crime. It’s wonderfully befitting.

This is the kind of shit that the adult Cyclops forgot. Being the boy scout and doing the right thing may cause some nasty complications, some of which include pissing off vindictive ex-girlfriends. But it does pay off in the long run. Karma can screw people over, but it can deliver a much needed shot in the arm when shit starts to get heavy. It shows that there’s genuine merit to O5 Cyclops’ tactics. Even vehement Wolverine fans have to concede that this was much more effective than trying to solve every problem with claws and whiskey.

Once O5 Cyclops and Corsair escape, they race to get the fuck out of this slave pit. But their escape does not go unnoticed. And of course Vileena is the first one to make them wish they could live the rest of their lives as slaves. She manages to hunt them down and she brings a big fucking gun with her. She may not dress in the overtly sexual outfits of the Goblin Queen, but a big fucking gun is just as effective as an army of goblins. And she’s able to do what I’m sure Madelyne Pryor dreams of doing when she jerks off, punching O5 Cyclops right across the face after he tries to apologize. Considering what she could’ve done, I still think he got off easy.

This is where the pacing gets a little choppy and rushed. I get shit is starting to hit the fan, but it happens a little quickly. Vileena and Captain Malafect find O5 Cyclops and Corsair pretty damn quickly. That’s perfectly understandable. They want them to suffer. Why wouldn’t they keep a close eye on them? It just doesn’t flow as well as other recent shit storms in this series. I’m sure that still won’t stop the anti-Cyclops fans from enjoying the sight of Vileena decking him in ways that would get her suspended from the NFL.

But she does more than just punch him. She makes it clear that she really did care about O5 Cyclops. She’s not just some crazed teenage girl who enjoys getting pissed off at her love interests, although she doesn’t seem to mind. She really did care about O5 Cyclops. And his betrayal really did hurt her. It makes her cosmic hissy fit a bit more meaningful. That’s more than can be said for Madelyne Pryor. She tries making O5 Cyclops pay by shooting his father. I guess that basically ruins any possibility of break-up sex.

This is when Captain Malafect also gets in on the fun. Being a good father who spends time with his daughter and shares her passions, she decides to help her maim O5 Cyclops and Corsair. He goes after Corsair specifically, making a point at how much he hates it when hormonal boys hurt her daughter. He also takes plenty of that frustration out on Corsair. But for Corsair, his son’s ability to be a pain in Captain Malafect’s ass is a compliment. I guess that’s two things they both have in common. They’re very proud of their children and they’re willing to help them kick ass when it needs to be kicked. It’s the joys of fatherhood, minus the complications caused by Maury Pouvich.

The battle between the two sides is intense and visceral. That’s what makes it satisfying. This is a battle between two rival space pirates and two hormonal teenagers. It’s like Pirates of the Caribbean meets the Jersey Shore, taking two things that suck and making something awesome out of it. The emotions help make it an awesome battle. But it also ensures that it ends tragically.

Because she’s in a pissed off, overly emotional state, Vileena makes another poor decision. She attempts to throw a knife at Corsair and O5 Cyclops saves him. But in her anger, she fails to notice her father right behind him and the blade ends up killing him instead. It makes for another emotional moment. In her anger over a boy, she ends up killing her father. But being a teenage girl, chances are she’s not going to learn from that mistake. It’s a powerful moment that also gives O5 Cyclops and Corsair a chance to escape. O5 Cyclops offers his condolences, but he might as well offer her cupcakes laced with meth because there’s nothing that’s going to fix this situation for her.

The pacing gets a little rushed and choppy again, but it still helps tie up the remaining loose ends. Once free, O5 Cyclops and Corsair take out the slave traders who took the Starjammers. They then get the fuck out of this slave pit and back into the cold darkness of space, which at this point is like a beach in Maui.

But for Vileena, it’s not nearly as pleasant. She and the crew of the Desolation have a funeral for her father that they clearly ripped off from Star Trek. The crew then names her the captain because making a pissed off teenager a leader has always turned out well, as Game of Thrones has shown. I guess pirates should watch more HBO because Vileena makes it clear she’s now on Madelyne Pryor’s team. She wants to make O5 Cyclops suffer, even though she’s the one responsible for her father’s death. Why? She’s a teenage girl. It doesn’t need to be logical.

When all is said and done, the Starjammers are finally back home. They make their way back to their ship and start repairing it. They can finally focus on being badass space pirates again. They’ve more than earned it. It also gives them a chance to catch up with some of the events in the galaxy they missed, namely the shit storm being caused by the Black Vortex. They were already aware of it. Now they’re set up for the perfect transition that’ll put them in the crossfire of more cosmic power and more emotional teenagers, talking trees, and Hank McCoy. Because why not? They’ve just handled a ruthless pirate and his vindictive daughter. They’re more than equipped to handle a cosmic power not named the Phoenix Force.

This series has had more than its share of defining moments for O5 Cyclops. These were the kinds of moments that would’ve sent his older self farther down that darker path he’s been following ever since Apocalypse mind-fucked him and Emma Frost gave him a repeated dose of sloppy seconds. But O5 Cyclops didn’t fall into that same trap. He resisted the urge to become a Wolverine-lite anti-hero. He remained the lovable boy scout who kept trying to do the right thing, even when it screwed him over. And more than anything else, this issue showed how being that boy scout can pay off.

It was because O5 Cyclops showed mercy and compassion to even his enemies that he escaped Captain Malafect. Sure, Vileena still hates his guts. Sure, she blames him for her father’s death even though she’s the one who threw the fucking knife. But mercy and compassion just aren’t enough for teenage girls. However, it is enough to save him and his father in the most fitting and satisfying way possible. He didn’t have to compromise. He didn’t have to lose his fucking mind or sell his soul. He just had to keep fighting and doing the right thing. Even Madelyne Pryor fans have to respect that.

This issue did so many things right. It wrapped up plenty of loose ends. And while it did get a little choppy in some areas, it provided a perfect transition into the Black Vortex crossover. There was emotion, drama, tragedy, and badass space pirates kicking ass. Anyone who is not satisfied with that needs to lay off the valium. Cyclops #11 gets a 8 out of 10. It also deserves to be added to the list of reasons why Cyclops is an awesome character. It’s not just that he can hook up with hot telepaths and cute alien girls. He can do so while being a nice, honest boy scout. In other words, Hank McCoy can go fuck himself. Nuff said!