Once the Novelty Wears Off: "X-Men #3"

The following is my review of X-men #3, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

When Brian Wood’s new X-Men series was announced, it was groundbreaking. For the first time, it looked like Marvel was putting some genuine effort into an all-female superhero team that would do more than titillate the coveted young male demographic. It sounds like such a novel concept, but it shouldn’t. Marvel has a long list of strong female characters and many of those characters are affiliated with the X-Men. It’s as if Marvel was one of those would-have-been investors with a chance to buy a stake in Google and they just ignored it.

When X-Men #1 was released, it worked in a ways that felt both overdue and satisfying. It succeeded in bringing together a team of X-women to confront a new threat while stirring up good character drama with Jubilee, who is now the adoptive mother of an orphaned baby. But what made the novelty so compelling is that it didn’t feel like a “female” X-Men book. It felt like a regular X-Men book where the characters happened to be female. The challenge for X-Men #3 was how to keep this series compelling once the novelty of its cast wears off? Can it truly thrive without being the X-Men version of the Spice Girls?

Consumers tend towards having a wide range of tastes and this often frustrates marketing departments. However, X-Men #3 doesn’t attempt to push the novelty any further than it needs to go. The same compelling themes that were established in the first issue carry over nicely to this issue, which caps off the end of the first arc beautifully. The details aren’t too dense and there aren’t any major plot twists that will make the readers gasp. It simply tells the story of the X-Men hunting down John Sublime’s vengeful sister, Arkea, and stopping her before she can do more damage than she has already done.

It’s not a fast-paced Arnold Schwarzenegger movie or a cerebral thriller with Morgan Freeman. It has a healthy bit of action and a healthy bit of drama, but it doesn’t go overboard with either. It establishes a solid balance while effectively tying up loose ends. Kitty Pryde and a group of under-used C-list characters confront the damage that Arkea did to the Jean Grey Institute’s computers, albeit in a way that involves a hefty repair bill and higher insurance premiums. The rest of the team follows John Sublime back to Budapest where the story actually began in the first issue. And he leads them to a final battle against Arkea that effectively ends the conflict.

However, this battle is somewhat subdued and involves a few too many horror clichés. Since most of it takes place in a creepy old hospital, there are times it feels like it’s devolving into a World War Z rip-off. Then there’s Arkea herself. Her being John Sublime’s twin sister of sorts was good in concept. Throughout the arc, she attacked the X-Men in unique and elaborate ways. But in this issue, it was somewhat simplified and not necessarily for the best.

At one point in the battle, Arkea delivers a menacing speech to the X-Men that might as well have been plagiarized from every other X-Men villain that ever called mutants “freaks”. Without the novelty of the series as a distraction, it’s much more apparent that Arkea really is a generic villain that lacks the charisma of John Sublime, the Hellfire Club, or Bastion. She really doesn’t say anything to set her apart. She’s just another evil creature intent on wiping out inferior life while getting back at her brother for kicking her off the planet a billion years ago. It basically amounts to Nazi-type evil mixed with a Jerry Springer kind of family feud.

While Arkea may not be getting her own fan club anytime soon, fans of strong female superheroes should be satisfied with how the X-Men handle themselves in this issue. At one point, they have to hold back their attack against Akrea because she hijacked the formerly comatose Karima Shapandar, also known as Omega Sentinel. They have to decide whether or not their friend is beyond saving before they risk delivering the final blow to Arkea. In the end, they don’t have to make that decision. Karima makes it for them. It’s a difficult decision that has been made by X-Men before, going all the way back to Chris Claremont’s original Dark Phoenix Saga. It doesn’t have quite that level of emotional weight, but it adds heart to the story in a way that feels distinctly feminine while not coming off as such.

The novelty may have worn off in X-Men #3, but the end of this first arc successfully laid a foundation for the future of this series. When Jubilee gives the orphaned baby that started this whole story a name, Shogo, it gives the impression that this is the overarching theme of X-Men. It isn’t just about an all-female X-Men team. It’s about a certain group of X-Men dealing with a unique set of issues. And Jubilee being a teenage mother who also happens to be a vampire is something that can’t be found in any other X-Men book. It’s actually somewhat ironic that the X-Men series with the most generic name has something so unique.

Brian Wood’s approach to this book is akin to someone trying to be a good overall athlete and not just good at a particular sport. While a professional sumo wrestler’s athletic skills may be somewhat narrow, a professional athlete can do more and branch out when necessary. X-Men as a series could go in many different directions, but X-Men #3 nicely demonstrates the skills of the characters and the overall theme. Some parts may have been overly generic, but it had a level of refinement that makes this book worth reading and bodes well for the future of this series

Final Score: 7 out of 10

Scanned Thoughts: X-men #3

I have two great passions in life, getting wasted, and comics. And when those passions converge, it's a truly beautiful thing. That's why I love gathering whatever illicit substances I can get my hands on and a fresh batch of comics to see what sort of beauty I can conjure. It's crude, it's incoherent, and at times it's downright fucked up. But I believe a certain level of truth emerges from the mind of every drunk and by that logic, I believe I can properly assess a comic. So with that in mind, the following intoxicated rants consist of my assessment of X-men #3. Your brain may say no, but your heart says yes so follow your heart and read on.

The battle against Arkea has taken many fucked up forms in a mere two issues, starting from the body of a baby and transferring to the body of Omega Sentinel, who happens to be a cute teenage girl. So yeah, it’s that fucked up. Now the X-women are going back to where this shit started in Budapest where in the first issue we found out that a meteor struck the area. So I guess it makes sense to start investigating here because freaky shit like this never happens on a beach in Maui. Also, John Sublime is still with them. He was the one that sought the X-women out for help in the first place because Arkea happens to be his pissed off sister with a billion year grudge. He hasn’t screwed them over yet, but that doesn’t mean that every X-woman won’t be on their guard or make sure their panties contain adamantium locks.

This doesn’t mean that Kitty Pryde is lucky for having been left behind. The last issue ended on a rather ominous cliffhanger when some of the other students at the Jean Grey Institute were sifting through the rubble and found a ticking clock. In comic that usually mean some shit is about to blow up. This time, however, it was something a little more subtle. Arkea had access to the whole Jean Grey Institute during the fight in the last issue so she opted to hijack the air vents and try to suffocate them. All I can say is that for a billion-year-old pissed off sister, she seriously does not appreciate the efficacy of blowing shit up.

It’s ineffective because Bling is able to break them free from the area with only the cost of another door. Since Arkea already blew up so much shit in the previous issue, I think that’s a hell of a bargain. But I guess Arkea learned at least something during her billion year pwnage. The phony bomb was just a prelude. Once Kitty and the students break free, she uses the Danger Room to form an army of drones. I admit that’s definitely a more effective means of causing destruction. And it definitely helps that the drones come in the form of a cute teenage girl. It’s a little creepy as well, but nothing that probably can’t be found in a Japanese novelty shop. It makes for some flashy action from some lesser known X-men characters and that’s always a plus. These young mutants have to get their X-men experience somewhere and it can’t just be from the Danger Room.

Since the systems at the Jean Grey Institute are still fucked up, the X-women’s best bet is to track Arkea to the source. This is where John Sublime proves to be more useful than the obligatory creepy guy in a group of women. He points out that the hospital where Jubilee found her baby was a hospital that he (or the poor schmuck he took over) funded for research in biotechnology. That essentially made it the juicy steak while Akrea was the hungry grizzly. It seems trivial, but it actually helps explain why Akrea crashed in fucking Budapest of all places and how she hijacked that baby. Those details may not seem like much, but they make comics a lot easier to read when you’re stoned and that means a lot to some people.

With this knowledge in mind, the Sublime and the X-women stake out the hospital and make their way inside. It already has that creepy abandoned feel, which is the theme of a great many horror movies and plenty of porno movies. So there’s definitely some tension. And probably because of that, Jubilee and the baby stay behind to monitor things from the outside. It’s an inglorious task, but it’s memorable in that it leads to an emotional scene with Jubilee and the baby. She literally just found this baby two issues ago and already she has become attached to it in a way that could make a standard made-for-TV movie on Lifetime. Keeping in mind that she’s still a fucking vampire, it’s a pretty powerful moment. And she does it while chewing gum, ensuring that this is still the Jubilee we know and love.

Back at the Jean Grey Institute, the situation isn’t quite as heartwarming. Kitty Pryde and a team of C-list X-men are attacking an army of Omega Sentinel rip-offs. Hellion, Bling, and Primal continue to shine while Kitty Pryde focuses on shutting down the system and praying to Odin that their insurance will cover the damages. I imagine that any insurance company stupid enough to ensure the X-men’s base of operations charges some fucked up premiums, but given the damage that Arkea does I think this is the one instance where we can’t fault insurance companies. It’s still flashy action and great to read while stoned.

The rest of the X-men finally get a shot at flashy action as well. Like so many other horror movies/pornos that take place in old hospitals, they’re eventually confronted by an army of zombie-like patients that Arkea hijacked. They look as creepy as anyone would expect. Arkea also gives a little speech about how she is superior and mutants are just freaks as anyone would expect. I’m pretty sure other characters like Reverend Stryker, Mr. Sinister, and Bastion could sue her for plagiarism. I imagine they have shitty lawyers so they don’t bother. And probably for that very reason the rest of the X-women look more bored than threatened.

The battle that follows might not be all that flashy, but it’s still fairly satisfying. Akrea is not like Stryker, Sinister, or Bastion in that there’s no one person to punch. So the X-women have to fight their way through hoards of innocent and already sick people to get to her. They focus on fighting Omega Sentinel, who is pretty much an innocent victim in this whole deal. She might as well be that unlucky guy who got stuffed in the trunk of a car because the mob got bad directions on Google maps. The only concern is whether or not Omega Sentinel is really dead and Arkea is the only one they have to worry about hurting. It’s a legitimate concern that adds some drama that doesn’t involve a baby for once.

The battles on both ends eventually converge beautifully. Kitty Pryde manages to shut down the Jean Grey Institute’s systems to stop the Omega Sentinel Danger Room attack. And the X-women find out that Omega Sentinel is still alive in her body, making it somewhat more difficult for Psylocke to stab her with her psionic blades. That’s somewhat surprising given the shit she did in Uncanny X-Force. But it still leads to a nice dramatic moment when Omega Sentinel basically saves Psylocke the guilt and stabs herself to destroy, or at least subdue, Arkea.

It may not be the most satisfying way to end the conflict and it’s certainly not going to make readers shit themselves. But it works. It fits all the proper X-men themes of having compassion for teammates and having to deal with enemies that aren’t always as easy to destroy as killer robots. And the kind of convergence shown here really makes the comic feel refined, as if Marvel is actually paying attention to detail. And after bullshit like Avengers vs. X-men where I’m convinced someone mixed their meds with magic mushrooms, that’s very refreshing. I guess that means they got a better dealer or a worse one. I’m not sure which.

It’s a victory for the X-women and their first in this young series. I suppose there’s a benefit to getting the first time out of the way. There are a lot of dirty jokes I could make with that, but I think I’ve pissed off the Catholic Church enough on this blog. And to top it off, Jubilee gives her new baby a name, Shogo. It’s a lot less generic than George and a lot less ridiculous than North so I think it works. At least it will work until a politician uses it as an alias to tweet pictures of his dick. For now, Shogo can take comfort in that he’s now in a comic with five beautiful X-women. I’m pretty sure that’s a win for any man, boy, or infant.

Arkea may have been a bit generic, but she provided a nice inaugural bang for the first arc of X-men. She brought a new team of X-women together and brought Jubilee back into the mix. I’m still increasingly frustrated that Jubilee’s vampire powers haven’t been addressed in the slightest, but that may just be because I’m low on weed. X-men #3 demonstrated a solid story that was attentive to detail in a way that is easy to overlook. It won’t blow anyone’s mind, but it’ll make everyone’s collective dick hard enough to get the job done. X-men #3 gets an 8 out of 10. That makes this book of all X-women a winner and for once it wasn’t just because of boobs. Nuff said!

All New X-men #1 Cover Update - Mystery of the (non-Jean) Redhead

A while back a did a quick post on the recent release of the cover for All New X-men #1. There wasn't much to say about it. Okay, I may have been a little high and there's only so much shit we can derive from a cover, but it was definitely newsworthy because it offered a brief glimpse into the return of the Original Five. In addition, it was the first cover with Jean Grey that we can at least be somewhat sure isn't a fucking cock tease.

They still look pissed.

While my dick did thank Brian Bendis and Stuart Immonen, there has been a new twist to this story. A few days later, Marvel released a variant cover for All New X-men #1. It wasn't too surprising. In the original article it already hinted at this cover might be one of those comic jigsaw puzzles that fit together with other comics to make some big uber cover that later becomes a poster that fans like me put in the corner of their room so as not to obstruct the playboy pinups. I didn't do another blog post because it seemed pretty innocuous.

They also look pretty damn pissed and/or constipated.

It's a pretty basic team. It's the X-men's heavy hitters in Wolverine, Storm, Kitty Pryde, Iceman, Beast, and Rachel Grey. For a book like All New X-men where Brian Michael Bendis said outright that the Original Five would be interacting heavily with X-men's regulars it's to be expected. But then a few days later, Bendis threw in a twist that adds another piece to a puzzle that should be pretty basic.

See that redhead in the corner? The one that most normal, sober people would say is Rachel Grey sporting a mini-skirt that's a few inches too high? That's NOT Rachel Grey. Bendis actually confirmed this on his message board. That's not to say Rachel Grey isn't a major player. It's already been revealed that she's going to survive Avengers vs. X-men and remain a major player at the Jean Grey Institute. However, that girl on the cover isn't her.

Now when I heard this, my first logical conclusion was to assume I either had too much to drink or not enough. Once I ruled that possibility out, the synapses in my brain started working overtime. Who the fuck could that be? Some speculated it's Jessica Jones or Tabitha Smith. But Bendis has already said that's not the case. But how many other redheads associated with the X-men that dress in mini-skirts are there?

We don't know yet because Marvel isn't spilling the details this soon no matter how drunk the fans get or how fucked up their theories may be. But right now, the brain cells I haven't managed to kill have concluded that this may be a new version of Hope Summers. I've made my utter hatred of this character clear before. I'll go on record as saying that if she dies in Avengers vs. X-men, I'll be the first one to take a shit on her grave. But there's also a chance that old Jean rip-off may undergo a transformation in the final act of Avengers vs. X-men. There's an even more remote chance that the transformation will make her a character you don'[t feel the urge to punch in the face. But I learned long ago not to get my hopes up for shit like that. For all I know, this could be someone else entirely. Hell, maybe Emma Frost lost AvX and now has to walk around as a redhead as punishment. Or maybe Kid Omega had a sex change. In comics, pretty much all options are on the table.

So I'm opening up this den of drunken comic book fans to crazy theories and wild accusations. Who is this mysterious redhead and what are the chances she's somewhat less annoying than Hope Summers? Bendis has fans by the balls at the moment and it's only a matter of time before he starts squeezing. So why don't we all save our balls and our future children the trouble and figure it out before infertility sets in? Nuff said!

X-men Legacy #260 - The End of a Legacy

Whenever a great era in anything ends there's some sort of fanfare. In the old days people would celebrate with drinking, parades, and orgies whichever came first. Comics have their share of eras. There was the golden age, the silver age, the guilded age, the fuck-comics-will-make-us-rich age, and the fuck-we're-going-bankrupt age. They all had their moments and the X-men were often part of those moments. As Marvel's biggest and often most overblown series, it's not uncommon for writers to make their mark on the books. It's just uncoming that they make that mark for so long. Chris Claremont did it for nearly two decades. The closest second...Mike Carey's run on X-men Legacy, which officially came to an end with issue 260.

The issues leading up to this final arc have been some of Mike Carey's best. He was able to tell a story that not only got Rachel, Havok, and Polaris back in the picture, but also utilized aliens. It's like the hot sauce of comics. A dash of aliens can spice up any story. But with two issues left, Mike Carey's next challenge was a bit more daunting. He had to catch X-men Legacy up with the events of Regenesis. He also had to have Havok, Rachel, and Polaris adjust to the new status quo of the X-men because before they were MIA, the team was still operating out of San Francisco and there wasn't another red haired, green eyed mutant messiah that looked like Jean Grey with Phoenix powers running around. While it was disappointing that we never saw just how far their jaws fell to the floor, it did open up another conflict involving another character that is supposed to be dead. That would be Ariel. Apparently, there was more demand to bring her back after her death in Second Coming (not more than two fucking years ago mind you) than Jean Grey. Now I have no idea where that demand is or how Marvel surmised it. I've been trying to smoke enough weed to help me wrap my head around it. So far no luck and my sperm count is now at 0. Thanks Marvel!

X-men Legacy #259 set up the last big moment for Mike Carey and as anyone that has followed his run to some degree would expect, it involves Rogue. It follows her as she makes her decision on who to follow after the big Schism. While we already know she goes with Wolverine, Carey is telling a story that shows she didn't just flip a fucking coin to figure this out. She's one of the few X-men that are respected in nearly every circle so she has incentive NOT to fuck this up. But while she was deciding, she discovered that they encountered a guest of sort when she made her way back to Earth with Rachel, Havok, and Polaris. Apparently, Ariel wasn't dead. She just got trapped in between dimensions. It's sort of like being lost on the Jersey Turnpike, but not quite as hazardous.

X-men Legacy #260 starts out by explaining just how Ariel ended up in this mess. Rogue fills in the blanks, flashing back to the events of Second Coming for those whose attention span with comics doesn't go back more than a few years. She was looking for Hope along with Wolverine and X-23. Then Bastion showed up and hit them with a missile. Being a teleporter, Ariel did what any normal human being would do that doesn't involve shitting her pants. She tried to teleport away. Like the knee-jerk reaction to zip up your pants when your mother catches you masturbating, it does not turn out well. Except instead of a scarred scrotum, you end up stuck between dimensions.

After Rogue tells her story to Cyclops and the science team, they put it on her shoulders to find a way to get Ariel back in one piece. Since she's the key to getting to this dimensional back alley, she has to be responsible. While she's musing over how she's going to handle this shit, she catches up with Rachel. We still never see her reaction to all the changes that have taken place since she's been gone or her opinion on Hope Summers if she has one. If it doesn't bother her that someone with the Phoenix Force (something she used to possess at least in part) that also looks like her dead mother is running around, then space fucked her up more than all the liquor in Las Vegas. She seems more concerned about Korvus, the alien she engaged in a little inter-species fetish play for a while. Rachel laments how Korvus isn't getting along well with the others. Losing his connection to the Phoenix Force just fucked him up. While it's nice they mention the Phoenix Force, they really don't seem to touch on the simple fact that the potential source is right on the island.

This is yet another missed opportunity. I was hoping that at some point Mike Carey would take some time to show Rachel, Havok, and Polaris reacting to Hope Summers. There's a very good reason to bring it up. During their adventure in space, Rachel and Korvus lost their connection to the Phoenix Force. Yet they don't even bother to mention Hope Summer? That's not just a missed opportunity. That's a ass ugly oversight of cosmic proportions. Even if Cyclops just told them off hand to not mention the Phoenix around Hope, it would have been enough. But it's flat out ignored here. For Mike Carey, that's enormously disappointing because he usually doesn't let plots like this dangle. This is a 900 pound gorilla fucking a giant squid and he's able to ignore it. Go figure.

The story quickly goes back to rescuing Ariel, a character that pretty much nobody mentioned or seemed to give three tenths of a shit about until this arc. Rogue manages to catch up with Hellion, who in an early X-men Legacy arc amped up his douche-factor to 11 when he nearly killed someone. She convinces him to help in this rescue effort. Frenzy even loans her some invulnerability like she did in the last arc. Cyclops and Dr. Nemesis express as much confidence as they probably would in Rick Santorum's presidential campaign. But they give Rogue a chance to do what she does best aside from wearing uniforms that show almost as much cleavage as Emma Frost.

The dimension they enter isn't very elaborate or detailed for that matter. In fact, it's pretty basic. Ariel is still a disembodied mess like she was at the end of the previous issue. Only a minor struggle ensues. Again, there's more missed potential for story here. It could have been much more of a spectacle. However, it isn't a walk down South Beach with a bag of cocaine and couple of half-naked supermodels. Hellion has to step it up here and actually save a life rather than recklessly endanger one. Yeah, he's still a douche after what he did in Legacy and in X-23. But he actually is able to step up in a way that's actually heroic.

Now if you read X-23 #19 (and you totally should), you may come off thinking that Hellion is a complete asshole. Well he is to some degree, but this comic shows he's capable of being a decent human being. He's able to take Ariel in her disembodied form and put her back together cell by cell. That's like trying to paint a mural with the head of a fucking pin blindfolded. And he pulls it off. Ariel is back in one piece and Dr. Nemesis has to say he was wrong to underestimate Rogue. Ah, who am I kidding. Dr. Nemesis never says he's wrong! He just concedes that Ariel is alive and starts treating her. So Marvel brings her back and keeps Jean Grey dead? I honestly don't know what to make of it.

That notion alone is mind-boggling enough. But what happens next is so fucked up that I can't describe it without shooting high-grade moonshine into my brain stem. After Rogue succeeds in rescuing Ariel, the scene shifts to that night and for reasons that aren't explained in any great detail she's naked in bed with Magneto. No, this isn't some poorly done piece of NC-17 fanfiction. No I'm not so high that I'm hallucinating my own comics again. This actually happens. Rogue is in bed with Magneto, they've presumably just swapped body fluids, and they're cuddling up in ways that give Twilight fans pussy boners. This after only a few issues back Rogue tells Magneto that she owes him nothing and doesn't see past all the bullshit he's inflicted. Yet she still bones him? After nothing was resolved with her and Gambit? I expect this shit from bad fanfiction writers that didn't complete 7th grade English, but not from Mike Carey. He's been very careful with the Rogue/Magneto relationship at times, but this is just a complete overfuck of the situation that I can't make sense of this with a sober or drunk mind.

This is worse than a missed opportunity. This is Mike Carey screwing up something that he was once the best at NOT screwing up. Other less talented writers are supposed to do shitty transitions that are random and completely out of character. Mike Carey is supposed to be more talented than that and for most of his run, he has been. So why the lapse? Why now of all times does he just throw Rogue and Magneto in bed together with no rhyme or reason? It does absolutely nothing to further the story in this issue. All it does is take a big steaming shit on an incredible legacy that Mike Carey spent years building.

After waking up from a hangover and cleaning up the vomit stains from this scene, we get another hastily glossed over plot that was also a missed opportunity. Korvus, still fucked up from not having the Phoenix Force anymore, is sent to meet up with the space thugs that the X-men crossed paths with during the last major arc. Apparently the whole relationship he built up with Rachel means jack shit now because he's sent to be the captain of this band of degenerates. Remember, their last captain screwed them over. Pretty much anyone aside from a drunk would be an upgrade. It's a decision that you would expect would have more drama, but it just seems like a way to get Korvus out of the picture because he wasn't message boards excited enough.

The whole issue is in a tailspin at this point, but in the end Mike Carey does manage to get his shit back on track before the stench becomes too overpowering. After all this random shit that pretty much destroys the issue, it finally gets back to the central theme of Rogue deciding on which side to join. She confronts Cyclops and basically tells him in a well-thought out and well-reasoned way that he's changed. It used to be that he had all these doubts and insecurities. Then he started boning Emma Frost and united the X-men and suddenly his balls are too big for the universe to handle. Well that worries Rogue and she actually tells Cyclops that he needs those insecurities. With that criticism, she decides to go with Wolverine and her role in the X-men Regenesis status quo is cemented. Then with Ariel, she travels to the ruins of the Xavier Institute to begin the rebuilding process with Wolverine. If only she had time to rebuild the damage to her credibility in this issue, but even the physics of comic books have limits.

Now I can't take anything away from Mike Carey. His run was a success by pretty much every measure. You don't have one of the longest tenures in the history of X-men without being successful on some levels. Mike Carey has delivered some amazing X-men stories, some of which I've reviewed and gone out of my way to praise in ceremonies that involve animal sacrifice. However, this was a shitty way to end such a wonderful run. So much wasted potential and some inexcusable WTF with Rogue and Magneto makes this issue a real disappointment. Mike Carey made his run special by focusing on character-based stories. He was great at scrutinizing the little things and avoiding the random WTF moments that you see in comics with more flash than flare. Reading this issue, you would never know that these were his strengths. They rescue Ariel. That's all find and dandy, but it really doesn't fit into what Rogue and the others were dealing with regarding Schism. That and her boning Magneto just destroyed the credibility that Carey spent half a decade building up.

While it was a disappointing issue, there were some strong elements that deserve praise. The final scene with Rogue and Scott was definitely the highlight. She actually addressed an important issue that has played out in other books like Schism and Uncanny X-men. She tells Cyclops that those doubts and insecurities he used to have are now a strength. His current attitude just doesn't work for her and pretty much everyone else that decided to go with Wolverine. She spoke for the entire Legacy crew minus Magneto. In addition, Ariel's little foray into other dimensions was resolved. Yes, it came at the expense of other conflicts involving Rachel, the Shi'ar, and other characters that people give more fucks about. But it was resolved.

So now that Mike Carey's run is over, I'm left with mixed feelings. I feel as though he should have ended with the arc that brought Havok, Rachel, and Polaris back because that would have ended everything on a high note. Instead, he had to do this one two-issue arc that leaves fans scratching their heads and vomiting uncontrollably from the thought of Rogue giving head to a guy that's probably three times her age. It really is a disappointment, but it doesn't take away from all the other great stories that Mike Carey has told. His legacy with X-men Legacy is solid if not somewhat cracked by these final two issues. I give X-men Legacy #260 a 2 out of 5, but Mike Carey's run in general is beyond scoring. He's done more for the X-books than most writers or fans could ever hope to do without blowing every top executive at Marvel and Disney several times over. So the bullshit in this issue not withstanding, I thank Mike Carey from the bottom of my heart for his work. May his legacy live on in the wet dreams of every Rogue fan from here until the end of time! Nuff said.