X-men Legacy #236 - Continued Legacy of Awesome

As strong as X-men Second Coming has been, it hasn't been perfectly consistent. My last two reviews of Uncanny X-men #524 and New Mutants #13 both had a healthy dose of cynicism as well as praise. But that's nothing to bang your head against the wall over. Even the best titles can't be consistent. However, there are a few that regardless of the circumstances still managed to shine with a consistent level of awesome. In the scope of Second Coming, Mike Carey's X-men Legacy is one of those rare titles and this issue shows it.

There's no subtle build-up this time. The very first few pages are like a slap across the face, a splash of liquid nitrogen, and sledge hammer to the balls. Mike Carey gets right into the action, picking up with the investigation into these mysterious oil rigs that Bastion has been tweaking lately. They don't have to investigate for very long. Before the big brains of the X-men can channel their inner Einstein, the damn thing literally blows up in their face.


The result is something that will generate one big "oh fuck" among everyone in the X-men in addition to pretty much everybody in the greater San Francisco area. These devices employ some classic comic book physics and by physics I mean the kind of impossible manifestations that you can only visualize with the aid of weapons grade LSD and hallucination mushrooms. A giant red shell of unbreakable energy forms over the entire city and traps the X-men inside. Keep in mind that they lost all their teleporters like Vanisher, Nightcrawler, Pixie, and Ariel. They even lost their X-jet. So they really are trapped. Bastion has them cornered and isn't going to let them get away. Cyclops described his strategy the best. He cut off their communications and their escape routes. Now he's free to deliver the killing blow.


Their initial response is expected. Is there any way out of this thing? Most readers will naturally scoff and say "why don't you just go underneath it?" as if it were the easiest thing int he world. Well if your average fanboy can figure that out, so can Bastion and the X-men. Cyclops wasted no time in contacting Namor to see if this barrier extends underground. Guess what? It does. It's not a dome. It's a sphere. That's Bastion 1, know-it-all fanboys 0. When he's looking to trap his enemies, Bastion takes no chances.


From this point on, Bastion has the mutants right where he wants them. So naturally he's going to get a little cocky. He basically tells his friends in the Sapien League they can put their feet up, take five, and chill back home with a tub of ice cream and some movies because the mutants are doomed. They have nowhere to hide and he's got everything he needs to take them out. He's essentially telling everyone he's got the biggest dick in the city before anybody can take off their pants and start measuring. It's more a classic kind of villainy and one that shows a great deal of confidence, if not overly so. It seems cliched, but any experienced comic leader wouldn't expect anything less.


Now something this bad is going to gain a lot of attention. It's at this point that Mike Carey does something that hasn't been done yet in the crossover. He incorporates it into the greater Marvel universe by having the Avengers show up. From the looks of it, they've already gotten a head start on the Heroic Age. It almost seems as though Carey lifted them from Avengers #1 that came out this past week as well. They basically arrive on the scene and try to break through the barrier. Thor takes a whack at it with his hammer and it doesn't even make a dent. As the science geeks explained it, this barrier is part matter and part energy. It can't be broken in the same way a slab of mud can't be broken. So the Avengers are helpless to assist the mutants and the X-men are on their own.


Now some may say that this is kind of a waste. Remember, this is an X-men comic. What the hell are the Avengers doing soaking up precious ink that could otherwise be used for X-men? Well it's another one of those little things that the insufferable douche-bags of the world often overlook. For an event this big, it would be pretty stupid for it to go unnoticed by the rest of the Marvel Universe. This brief entry not only shows that the Avengers know about it, but they try to do something and are unsuccessful. Maybe Carey had another scene in mind, but this helps clear out that hole and makes Second Coming an event that is truly a Marvel event. In that sense it's more than worth the extra ink.

While the big guns are going at it, there is still room for those important character moments that make these titles so special. In the last issue of the crossover Hope Summers admitted that she lied when she said she was ready to come back to the present. This leads to a powerful scene with Cable where he discusses the importance of the mission. At the same time he never forgets her role as guardian. He says that if she wants they can make one last time jump into the future and leave this all behind. It would mean the death of the X-men, but if she wants this then he can make it happen. Hope is left with a very difficult decision because at this point it still hasn't been revealed what's so special about her and why she's supposed to save all mutants. Even so, she makes her decision. She decides to stay.


It's an important moment for her character. Hope Summers shows that she isn't some tool. She's a real character who has very human flaws. Like all messiahs, they have doubts along the way. She's seen so much destruction happen in her name and it's only natural to have that affect her. So here she is trembling for a bit, but then sucking it up and moving forward. Fate is trying to press her down and she's kicking it in the balls. It's a very admirable act. Kind of reminds me of another certain redhead, but that's another story.

It's a great mix between character development and action. However, Mike Carey doesn't make every drop of ink count. In a very rare shift this issue had very little Rogue in it and most Carey comics give at least some screen time to demonstrate her awesomeness. She does show up here, but only in a limited capacity. All she does is have a conversation with Toad and that's about it. For someone who has given Rogue some amazing moments in this crossover thus far, it seemed a little half-assed. It was like Carey had to arm wrestle the editors or something to put Rogue on at least a few pages and it feels a little out-of-place. If he's going to use Rogue, he might as well make it meaningful and it just wasn't that meaningful here.


Meaning aside, Mike Carey saves the best moments for last as Cyclops and a team of X-men fly into the city in an effort to contain this unfolding disaster. Along the way they see a glowing ball of light that appears to have been lifted right from the Terminator movies. Seeing as how the X-men don't keep up with the movies, they go to investigate it. And guess what pops out? If you've seen Terminator you won't be at all surprised. It's a fleet of Nimrod Sentinels. For those of you who don't know their X-men history, the Nimrod Sentinels are the Terminator equivalent of the T-1000 that has spawned a bastard child with the T-X from Terminator 3. It's mean, it's nasty, and it's indestructible. One alone would be a hassle. An army would require an entire new wardrobe of underwear because you would have shit every one of them.


This sets things up perfectly for Craig Kyle and Chris Yost, who take on the next chapter in X-Force. This is right up their alley, taking on a bunch of killer robots under Bastion's control. It's the kind of over-the-top battle that sprays napalm into your skull and dumps gasoline on it. For an issue that started off with a bang, it's the perfect way to cap it off.

Mike Carey has once again proven to be the most consistent X-men writer of the Second Coming crowd. His stories and handling of the characters remains the standard by which all others are measured. He is able to get deeper both into the light and dark aspects of the X-men, making for a balance that just isn't shown in other comics. It should make writers feel secure because he's staying on board after the crossover is over while Kyle and Yost are jumping ship. In addition to his writing the art by Greg Land is a perfect compliment. It isn't the best art in the series and it is a little inconsistent at times. But it definitely works and works pretty damn well.

The whole package is sound. The last two issues may have been bumps in the road, but they're officially a thing of the past. Mike Carey has brought Second Coming back to prominence. This issue gets a stellarly awesome 5 out of 5 and an A-plus. The stage has been set for X-Force and the awesome is just screaming to be let out. X-fans everywhere would be wise to listen.

Iron Man 2 Review - Solid Awesome

Well I went to a late night showing of Iron Man 2 amidst a crowded theater and a line that stretched out the doors. But this was one of those movie events you just have to see because it radiates awesome on so many levels. Now it's a common theme for movie sequels to be a big deal, especially ones coming off the heels of a first movie that was so successful. Many times they can fizzle out, coming off as so contrived it feels like the producers just took some bums off the street, gave them a case of tequila laced with LSD, and had them hammer out a plot that the studio could slap together with some flashy gimmicks to make more money. Iron Man 2 doesn't have that problem. It feels like someone put more work into it than your standard sequel. It was going to make money no matter how good it was, but it's comforting when it's good enough to warrant this title as an awesome successor.

Iron Man 2 picks up about six months from where the first movie left off. In that time Tony Stark has revealed to the world that he is Iron Man and since then, he's been using his suit to trot around the world blowing shit up and making peace with an iron fist. Most people know this line from the previews.

"I have successfully privatized world peace."

That's not an bullshit statement. He's effectively cut out the middle man when it comes to peace making, namely the government. As such, he's got no bureaucrats up his ass telling him where and when he can kick ass. Of course, the government doesn't like that. Congress led by Senator Gary Shandling accuse him of making them look bad (as if that's hard for anyone who has ever had to go to the DMV) and demands he give the Iron Man suit to the military. Of course he says no and this opens up one of the major themes to the movies.

From the beginning Robert Downy Jr. plays up all of Tony Stark's charming personality and by charming that also implies his douchebag tenancies. He really gives a sense that Tony Stark may not be privatizing peace just because it's the right thing to do. It often comes off as an ego trip, a guy trying to carve a legacy for himself because he didn't like the one he had in the last movie. It does come off as selfish and altruistic at the same time and few actors could pull that kind of thing off. Downy does it as easily as a line of cocaine and it makes for great movie magic.

Downy's brilliance is well complimented by the awesome sexiness that is Scarlett Johansson. She takes on the role of a "Legal Assistant" who helps Tony in transferring the role of CEO to Pepper Pots. Of course, she's too hot for that shit. She's really a badass secret agent named Natasha Romanov, aka the Black Widow, working for Nick Fury (played by the super cool Sam Jackson) and SHIELD. Her job, other than looking hot, seems to be tempting Tony Stark's piss poor will-power and giving him some lousy advice about what to do if he's dying. She also analyzes him for his potential role in the Avengers initiative (hinting at yet another movie down the road), which is less than stellar. She eventually joins in the ass-kicking, looking super skilled and super hot in the process. Some of the things she can do with her legs are deadly, but seriously you might just envy the men who died like that because what better place to leave this world than between Scarlet Johansson's thighs? Not a bad way to go out.

This is also where Ivan Danko, aka Whiplash, comes in. Ivan, who is wonderfully portrayed by Mickey Rourke, sees through Tony's charm. He's one of those villains who naive viewers think he's just an asshole looking to make trouble, but if you watch for more than two seconds you'll see there's some truth behind the madness. Danko has the resources to prove his point. His father worked for Tony's father, Howard Stark, and was essentially shafted. He was like a stray dog someone would bring into their home because he looked lost and abused, but the second he took a shit on the rug they kicked him to the curb. The general idea here is that dog had a puppy and it grew up to be a vicious little mutt that went back to bite the previous owner in the balls. That vicious mutt is Danko.

He showed everybody that Iron Man isn't invincible and made his own suit using technology left to him by his father. He ended up using it quite well at that, taking on Tony and messing him up in broad daylight in front of a global audience. It was the superhero equivalent of pulling down his pants and showing the world he had hemorrhoids. From here, Danko gets the attention of Justin Hammer, the other big villain of the movie who Tony Stark has gone out of his way to discredit and humiliate as an incompetent, dim-witted competitor in the world of weapons manufacturing. He's such a jackass to this guy you almost want him to get Danko's help because nobody deserves that kind of lampooning, even if they are a rich bastard.

While Hammer and Danko start working together, Stark is going down a path of self-destruction that Keith Richards himself might step back from. In the last movie his love of decadence was well-demonstrated, but it's different this time around. This time, Tony is suffering from blood toxicity caused by the chest plate that's keeping him alive. So he doesn't believe he's going to be alive much longer. What's the most logical thing to do in that respect? What else? Get pissed faced drunk, throw a party, destroy your house, and completely alienate your friends in the process. This is where the guy who always defends him, James Rhodes, basically strikes out and takes one of Tony's suits to the military where they make it into War Machine.

It all comes to ahead at the end when Danko once again makes Hammer look like an incompetent tool, hijacking his new Iron Man knock-offs and attacking Stark's expo. It makes for some great explosions, some kick-ass fighting, and general over-the-top action that one would expect from a film taken from the annuls of Marvel Comics.

So what does the final product come to? Well it definitely rides the tidal wave of hype and manages not to fizzle out, so there's that. But compared to the first film, there wasn't much of an improvement. In fact, in some ways it felt a lot more disjointed. The action, dialogue, and plot didn't flow nearly as well or as naturally as it did in the first movie. At times the cinematography reads like it was edited by a 15-year-old crack addict with carpel tunnel syndrome. The dialogue was also pretty off at times. It sounded nowhere near as conversational as the last movie or most movies for that matter. When the characters talked, it sounded like they were reading it from a teleprompter and not trying to add a personal touch. I get that this is a movie of big explosions and pretty technology, but that alone an awesome movie does not make.

Then there were the little things. Gwenth Paltrow's portrayal of Pepper Pots didn't change much from the last movie and that in and of itself isn't a bad thing, but you expect a wee bit more progress in the character than this. She sounded downright whiny and bitchy at times, like a spoiled rich girl complaining that her daddy was having fun without her. Granted, she still had great chemistry with Downy, but she lacked the maturity she had in the first movie. Mickey Rourke's performance was solid too, but at times his character came off as flat. When he spoke, it didn't have much personality behind it. He sounded as though he was overacting at times, like he was not really into the character and trying too hard to be like the comic book. There's a limit to that because his lines were limited and when he did speak, it was short and contrived. You get the sense there was depth to Danko's character, but Rouke never got to flesh it out. Now while Scarlet Johansson's portrayal of Black Widow was sheer hotness, it takes more than boner-inducing looks to pull off a character. She came off as flat as Rouke at times. Plus, she didn't even have an accent! How can you do Black Widow and not have that distinct Russian accent? Rouke made it work well. Why couldn't Johansson?

Take all these peeves, throw them into a blender with the rest of the movie, mix it all up, and you'll get something you won't chug every day like chocolate milkshake laced with crack. But you'll get something that's bearable and tasteful, enough to make you glad you indulged and enough to make you want to indulge again. But it's nowhere near the sheer ecstasy of other kick-ass sequels like The Dark Night, X2, or Spider-Man 2. It is still awesome in it's own light. It stands on it's own as a worthy successor to the first Iron Man. And wouldn't you know it? There was one last scene after the credits that hinted at the next big Marvel movie. I'll give you a hint. It involves a guy with a hammer who talks like he's spent one day too many at a Renaissance fair. Nuff said.

So what's the final verdict? For all it's faults and successes, Iron Man 2 gets a 3.5 out of 5. It has plenty of charm, but not the revolutionary imagining that the first one did. It keeps the appetite hungry for more, building further to the eventual Avengers movie set to come out in a few years. There's a lot to love and it's perfectly acceptable to say that Iron Man 2 is kick-ass awesome and one of the best movies of the year so far.

Who or what is Ultimate X? Who cares!

Since the destruction of the Ultimate Universe in the nearly universally despised event, Ultimatum, much has been made of what Marvel is doing with their Ultiamte division. Rarely has there ever been an event comic that was hated by so many readers and so poorly received by critics of all kinds. The stated intent of Ultimatum was to shake up and revitalize the Ultimate line. It definitely succeeded in shaking things up, but it certainly doesn't appear to have revitalized anything.

So far only two Ultimate books have come out. Ultimate Avengers and Ultimate Spider-Man. So far both books have been well-received critically and by fans for the most part. But in terms of sales they're a far cry from their earlier incarnations. Ultimate Avengers was the best selling Ultimate book in November 2009 with 59,023 sold. Compare that to sales of Ultimates 3, a book that also suffered from horrible critical reviews and fan response, which pulled in over 90,000 with the first three issues.

Comic sales in November

Comic Sale trends: Ultimates

As for Ultimate Spider-Man, which has been by far one of the most successful Ultimate titles, sales of issue four were steady around 49,106. That's saying something considering this book has historically sold at least 50,000 with each printing.

Now there could be a number of reasons for this. Competition with the other titles could be a factor. Events like Dark Reign and Seige coupled with events like Blackest Night from DC could definitely cut into major comic sales. But good comics, competition or not, are able to compete. So far, Ultimate Comics appears to be failing. Already, the delays that have plagued the title are setting in with Ultimate Avengers being pushed back. Ultimates 4 has been pushed back as well, which was supposed to be a January release. Yet now, the Ultimate series is hoping for another shot in the arm with a title called Ultimate X. It's supposedly going to follow the story of what happens to the mutants of the world after Ultimatum. It's being hyped as something entirely new, based around the question "What is Ultimate X?"

But the bigger question is who really cares? Ultimatum's greatest pitfall was that it brutally and callously killed a whole host of characters that fans deeply love. Characters like Professor Xavier, Cyclops (you think they would have learned from X3), Wolverine, Dr. Strange, Wasp, Giant Man, Ultimate Dazzler (who had her own little following), and many others weren't just killed. They were slaughtered with no heart, no emotional impact, and no depth. It was as if the writer was just lining them up and executing them in cold blood. Even in mediocre comics, deaths are handled with some degree of dignity and impact. This had none of that. It was all shock value, doing something they knew they could never get away with in 616. But even though they could it didn't seem to dawn on them whether or not they should. Now they think the novelty of a post-apocalyptic Ultimate world can sell without the beloved marvel characters that made it great. That's not just a fools bet. That's damn near delusional.

By killing so many characters, Marvel has killed of any chance they had to flesh them out with new stories. Characters that were underdeveloped like Ultimate Psylocke, Ultimate Emma Frost, and Ultimate Toad will never be given a chance to grow because they were callously tossed aside. It's a real tragedy because the void of these deaths cannot easily be filled. We're talking about characters that are so recognizable in nearly every medium. Fan of characters will often buy a comic solely based on whether or not their favorite character appears in it. Now that Ultimate has butchered so many of those characters, those same fans are not even going to give titles like Ultimate X a chance even if the story is well-written and well-reviewed.

I used to be excited for every major Ultimate event, even as 616 started catching up. This is the first time I find myself so completely apathetic about the Ultimate series. I stopped collecting the trades and I barely keep up with the spoilers. It's sad for me to see the Ultimate universe that I so deeply loved just die like this, but that's out of my hands. Unless Marvel starts bringing some of these characters back (which they've publically stated they won't), Ultimate Comics is going to be a hard sell. It's a tragedy of Clone Saga proportions. Ultimate was born on the eve of a new decade and now it dies at the beginning of another. It seems that obsurity is only a matter of time if something major isn't done. I suppose we'll all have to wait and see, but given how Ultimatum panned out I'm not getting my hopes up.