Clear Skies and Clearer Understanding: Storm #11

The following is my review of Storm #11, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

There are certain characters whose appeal we'll never understand. Can anyone truly claim they know why Andy Dick had his own show or why Rebecca Black had a hit single? On the other end of the spectrum are characters like Storm, whose appeal goes beyond any viral video or Twitter trend. She's as much an icon for the X-men as Wonder Woman is for the Justice League. It's gotten to the point where we can accept a world where the X-men can function without Wolverine, settling instead for clones or inverted enemies. But we can't accept a world where the X-men can function without Storm. Just ask Black Panther.

In many respects, Greg Pak's has done for Storm what Grant Morrison did for Superman in his All-Star Superman series. He makes concepts like killing giant robots or humiliating the Lex Luthors of the world secondary. Instead, he focuses on fleshing out the defining traits that make us love Ororo Munroe.

Throughout this series, he's touched on many core aspects of her character. There's Storm, the dedicated teacher. There's Storm, the dedicated humanitarian. And there's Storm, the woman who just lost her lover. But no matter which Storm she is, she's a character that commands love and respect. And she does it while looking sexier than Superman ever could. She doesn't even need an obscenely revealing costume designed by Rob Liefeld either. It's one of the many testaments to Storm's character.

So before Secret Wars blinds everyone to the simpler pleasures of refined, likable characters, Pak explores one more core trait to Storm's character in Storm #11. And it's a trait that truly epitomizes the concept of the X-men as a whole. The imagery of Charles Xavier's bald head or Wolverine's chest hair might be more defining to some. But for Storm, the act of reaching out to a scared and unstable young mutant is what defines the X-men.

It's this act that Storm has raised to an art form that Pablo Picasso himself would admire. And she has to push her skills in this craft to their very limit because she has to deal with the kind of unstable mutant that wouldn't even be welcome on the set of Jerry Springer. Kenji Uedo, once the least unstable member of Generation Hope, has returned and he's still as unstable as ever. And since nobody has cared about Hope Summers since Andrew Luck's rookie season, he's taking his anger out on Storm.

In this respect, he chose the perfect target. Storm is the very antithesis of who he is. In addition to being a blatant Akira rip-off, Kenji is the ugliest manifestation of mutants. He's obscenely disfigured, exceedingly unstable, and can't be controlled. On the other end of the spectrum, Storm embodies beauty that even Hallie Berry couldn't sufficiently capture and power so balanced that it can end famine and bring joy. They're still similar in the sense that they both have the power to unleash untold destruction. The main difference is that Storm chooses to use that power to bring peace while Kenji chooses to use that power to make the world his personal toilet bowl.

Beyond just the physical and personal struggles, Kenji attempts to break Storm's spirit down by touching on all those she has interacted with throughout this series. Every struggle that has helped emphasize why she's the most iconic and beloved X-man in history is brought into the fold. It's a perfectly structured act of convergence that DC Comics should take note of. It effectively raises the emotional and personal stakes for Storm. And true to the goddess we know and love, she rises to the occasion in ways that even an army of Hallie Berry's couldn't capture.

Storm exercises every level of her strengths. First, she shows off the kind of power she has over the elements. Kenji, being an immature mutant who hasn't destroyed enough killer robots to call himself an X-man, tries to break Storm by attacking all the friends and allies she reconnected with over the course of the series. Instead of breaking, she gives Kenji a lesson that he won't get outside of an old Catholic school. In an act that would make Spinal Tap proud, she turns the volume up on her powers to 11 and creates a dazzling weather display that effectively purges Kenji's Akira-inspired attacks off the world. However, it's her second attack that is truly defining.

She was still in a position to give Kenji the kind of discipline that even the most sadistic nun wouldn't condone. She has more than enough power to make him wish he was born without skin. However, she chooses not to fight him. Instead, she and the friends she made in this series connect with Kenji. In doing so, she shows him that she too has an ugly side. She has a history of making bad mistakes and not just because of her choice in haircuts. She may carry herself with a beauty and grace that would inspire countless Sir-Mix-A-Lot songs, but she is still as flawed as he is. She just chooses to be something greater.

This is what ends up winning the battle. She doesn't have to kill or even hurt Kenji. She just has to inspire him. This is what makes Storm who she is. This is why she embodies the best of what the X-men have to offer. Cyclops may have the love of hot telepathic women. Wolverine may have the chest hair and bad boy appeal. Charles Xavier may have wisdom and likeness of Patrick Stewart. But Storm has the heart.

It is the best possible conclusion for a series. Storm #11 effectively links all the elements that have been explored throughout this series into one, concise narrative that acts as a love letter to Storm fans of every era. She is the last remaining anchor in the world of X-men that champions their ideals. She has the kind of spirit and heart that the Inhumans will never be able to match, although they'll certainly try. There are so many traits that make Storm the ultimate X-man. It's impossible for any issue or series to cover them all, but this one made a truly worthy effort.

Final Score: 10 out of 10

Scanned Thoughts: Storm #10

There are some characters that find a way to be relatable, yet still have the kind of obscene power that makes gods, goddesses, and congressmen shit themselves. And I’m not talking about the kind of bullshit relatability that Spider-Man claims to have. Nobody not named Tom Brady can be a young, attractive white guy who bangs supermodels and still be relatable. And even though Peter Parker is the kind of guy who the Ted Cruzes and Hillary Clintons of the world would pander to in an election year, I find Storm to be much more relatable.

I know. That sounds like one of those things I say when I’ve had a few too many bong hits or lost a fight with a lawn gnome. But think about it. She’s an outsider who had to fight to survive under circumstances way more shitty than just making a mortgage payment. She’s very different in that she stands out in a crowd, but not to the point where the NYPD would subject her to a stop and frisk for reasons that don’t involve copping a feel. Yet still, she finds a way to be so loving and compassionate to all those around her, even when she’s surrounded by injustice and annoying teenagers.

Compared to that, her weather control powers are her second greatest abilities at best. Her solo series had given everybody so many reminders as to why she’s the most lovable and relatable X-men character in the Marvel Universe that nobody who isn’t in a coma has an excuse at this point. But Storm #10 still tries to reinforce it because damn it, it’s a point worth reinforcing.

It’s also a point that everyone in the Jean Grey Institute seems to understand. They know that when Storm arrives on the scene, everyone needs to step up their game. For a good chunk of this series, she’s gone on more than a few not-so-enjoyable excursions. One of them involved her getting wrongfully arrested. Luckily, she let the authorities off with a warning. So when she returns to the Jean Grey Institute, everybody stands up a little straighter because the bar for being a good X-man has once again been raised.

What follows is a brief, but meaningful exploration into the kind of life Ororo Munroe lives at the Jean Grey Institute when she’s not fighting Sentinels or inspiring others to worship her like the goddess she is at heart. That includes duties like teaching classes, answering emails, and sitting in on disciplinary hearings. It’s the kind of shit that goes on in real schools that don’t have a front yard that happens to be alive. It many sound menial, but it’s not beneath her. She never treats it as such.

That’s what makes her so much more lovable than most of the other heroes that get solo series and major movies. She’s willing to do these menial things and she finds a way to do them in a way that’s both graceful and awesome. That includes something as simple as clearing up a mold problem in the sewers and watering her plants. Storm doesn’t just accomplish these tasks with stunning efficiency. She does it with a grace and humility that makes her more worthy of worship than most every other god or goddess. How many other gods will take time out of their day to clean mold?

But the menial aspects of Storm’s duties at the Jean Grey Institute don’t last. They never do. After establishing that Storm is capable of handling her day-to-day duties with the divine beauty that we’ve come to expect, she faces a more typical X-men style problem. For once, this one doesn’t involve killer robots or corrupt mutant-hating diplomats. It involves some creepy, anime-porn inspired monster that shoots up from the sewer system that she just cleaned. I guess at a place like the Jean Grey Institute, this counts as a fairly typical Thursday afternoon.

Storm makes quick work of it. She’s not some cute anime school girl. She’s Ororo fucking Munroe. But in doing so, she also reveals that this creepy anime wannabe is actually a familiar face. It’s Kenji Uedo, also known as the most butt-ugly batshit character from the Generation Hope days. He’s been listed as dead for a while. But in a universe occupied by Jean Grey, he should know by now that’s no excuse. It turns out he’s back and the only way he could get the X-men’s attention was attacking them. That or his email was going too damn slow. He might still be using Yahoo.

Being the kind and understanding woman she is, Storm resists the urge to finish Kenji off again and rushes him to the infirmary. It’s there where she reveals in the most polite manner possible that he’s supposed to be dead. He died back on Utopia after he went ape shit and tried to kill everybody in ways that even tentacle porn doesn’t depict. As a result, he’s wearing a strait jacket. For what this asshole deserves, he should consider himself lucky.

This doesn’t stop Storm from being kind and comforting to Kenji. She gives him a chance to explain himself and he comes off as sincere. He’s weak, scared, and nothing at all like the Akira rip-off who fell in love with a brain in a jar (not a joke, by the way). It’s almost believable. He even has a reason for how he came back to life.

This asshole named Harmon, who Storm clashed with earlier in this series, used his exotic body to give his busted up physiology an upgrade. It’s pretty sick in a way that probably gives Sinister a boner. But it’s both believable and consistent with the recent events of the series. It’s not overly forced or contrived. It works. Compared to most resurrections that involve clones or shape-shifting aliens, it’s a huge plus. That doesn’t mean Storm is going to be his Oprah and hug him like a sick puppy. He’s still going to be on lockdown while a couple of telepaths monitor his mind. As kind and compassionate as Storm is, she understands it’s never wise to trust creepy teenage boys with a history of homicidal douche-baggery.

Other elements from previous issues in this series come into play as well. A few issues back, Storm met up with Callisto and a group of run-aways living in the sewers. It turns out they’re also having a nasty mold problem and they don’t have Storm’s powers to clear it up while looking sexy as hell in the process. So they either have to pick up a sponge or learn to live with it. There’s some nice quips about how shit was easier in the sewer when they had Morlock powers to rely on. It’s still the sewers though. Mutant powers can only go so far. Not having them also really sucks with scary shit starts attacking, as Callisto learns the hard way.

In addition to Callisto, another one of Storm’s friends from earlier in this series calls up and says shit is starting to stink. Forge, who actually had the privlidge of seeing Storm naked at one point, reveals that he also had a mold problem while working in Kenya. But windex and paper towels can’t clear this shit up because apparently, it’s not ordinary mold. It’s the kind that fuels a legion of Kenji Uedo style monsters.

It started with mold in the Jean Grey Institute, which Storm easily took care of. Now that shit has found its way to some of Storm’s other recent hangouts. It’s a nice bit of convergence for a series that has been remarkably concise in making Storm awesome in so many different ways. She’s had to battle her share of assholes along the way, but none quite like this. Any army of monsters that originated from an unstable teenage boy is bound to be disturbing than any killer robots.

When Storm hears about this, she quickly connects the dots. She knows Kenji Uedo has to be the source and she doesn’t need a Batcave, a Fortress of Solitude, or a Cerebro to figure that shit out. She understands that the best way to help her friends and allies is to go to the source. So she’s not just awesome and lovable. She’s also competent. That not as common as it should be. Look at Peter Parker’s long list of fuck-ups for proof of that.

She eventually does arrive at the source, but it’s a bit too late to unfuck the situation. More Akira-inspired monstrosities emerge and they’ve already got Rachel Grey and Beast. Kenji Uedo is still coming off as innocent. He’s trying to fight it off and doing a pretty shitty job. A metal chair might be marginally effective in a WWE match. It’s not nearly as effective is a big fucking tentacle monster. Still, I give the kid points for at least giving the impression he’s not the same asshole.

He loses those points pretty damn fast when he eventually gets sucked up into the monster and not like a cute school girl in a short skirt. As it absorbs him, he starts to talk like his old self again. That means he’s channeling his inner douche-bag again, sounding like a deranged artist who would make a statue of Paulie Shore out of dead baby seals if he could. Now it’s not clear if he’s still somewhat innocent in all this. That lack of clarity is somewhat confusing. The line between where Kenji Uedo ends and this oversized Akira rip-off begins is not easily defined. Maybe that’s on purpose, but it’s still overly obscure and lacks emotional impact.

Even so, Storm tries to be the kind and loving person she is at heart and reaches out to Kenji. She’s way more merciful and kind that Kenji deserves, but that only helps reinforce the traits that make her so awesome. This kid has already gone on multiple Godzilla-style rampages. He’s already carried himself with the kind of douche-baggery that would’ve made him a perfect cast member on the Jersey Shore. But she’s still willing to give him a chance. In an era where being caught with a tiny bag of weed means jail time for most people, that says a lot about Storm.

It also says a lot about Kenji when he basically spits in the face of Storm’s compassion. This is both a dick move and incredibly stupid. She’s a fucking weather goddess. She can use a tornado to do root canal on him if she wants. Even so, he’s got batshit insanity on his side so the battle feels more even than it is on paper. He wants to re-establish his douche-baggery in a story that re-established all the less obvious traits that make Storm awesome. In both instances, they succeed.

It would be easy at times to accuse Storm of being too competent and kind. Then again, that would be like saying a certain Playboy model is too beautiful. It’s not a valid complaint. But this issue does something besides give Storm a new challenge to overcome with the kind of grace and swag that she wields. It showed how she conducts herself as headmaster of the Jean Grey Institute. It also shows that for all the respect and authority she wields, she earns every fucking bit of it.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Kenji Uedo has done everything possible to be unworthy of such respect. He was the chief asshole prior to Avengers vs. X-men and since he was on a team with Hope fucking Summers, that’s saying something. He makes a concerted effort to be sympathetic in this issue. He even ties it into some of the recent conflicts Storm has been dealing with. But given his history and his personality, it’s just hard to give his words any credibility. So it was hard to be surprised to see him go full tentacle porn in the end.

It was still nice to see Storm give him a chance. Granted, he pissed that chance away like a bad cup of coffee, but it once again demonstrated the kind of character Storm is. It also nicely tied in a few other stories that had been explored in previous issues. This sense of cohesion and the many respectable moments Storm brought make this series special. It’s special because she’s a special character that Marvel will never be able to replace with some bullshit Inhuman rip-off. I give Storm #10 an 8 out of 10. Kenji Uedo is a dick an a total Akira rip-off. Ororo Munroe is a loving, compassionate goddess that combines the heart of an angel with the badassery of an army of Amazon warriors. Nuff said!

Scanned Thoughts: Wolverine and the X-men #12

Some people have multiple personalities that change as often as Lady Gaga’s dress sense. One day they’re loving and caring. The next they’re angry and hostile to the point of wanting to snap the neck of puppies. These people are usually not the kind of people who should be in positions of power where their authority is wielded on the whim of whatever meds they are or aren’t taking. That’s part of what makes someone like Storm such a perfect headmaster for the Jean Grey Institute. More than any other X-man, she has been the emotional and spiritual rock for generations of mutants. Her loving, compassionate grace is more consistent than Peyton Manning on game day.

But what happens when that rock of stability turns into a badly hung over Wolverine? That’s exactly what the inversion has done to Storm in the events of Avengers and X-men: AXIS. Thanks to yet another case of the Scarlet Witch’s bullshit, she and some of the other X-men have gone evil. Now she’s about as compassionate as a hungry grizzly that shits typhoons. And she is still the head of the Jean Grey Institute. May Odin and every other god in the Marvel universe have mercy on the poor souls of the students.

Almost as jarring as Storm going evil is Kid Omega suddenly not being the insufferable douche-bag he’s been for the last decade. He certainly went out of his way to exercise his douche-baggery in the events leading up to Wolverine’s death. He took over the Phoenix Corporation, quit the Jean Grey Institute, and generally shrugged off Wolverine’s death the same way Chuck Norris shrugs off a hangover. Now he’s partying it up at the Hellfire Club. It’s basically like an orgy at the Playboy mansion and cocaine bender with Charlie Sheen. An douche-bag teen should be in heaven, but that’s not how Kid Omega feels anymore.

He’s at this party, surrounded by the kind of rich assholes he would love to mind-fuck just to give himself a boner. Yet he doesn’t feel inclined to do any of that shit. His inner monologue details the extent of his inversion, something that has been explored in other tie-ins. It’s been explored better because all it really shows here is that Kid Omega is no longer exercising his douce-bag tendencies, but it’s still nice to see the nuts and bolts of the inversion.

What isn’t nearly as nice is seeing the Hellfire Brats again. Yes, the pre-pubescent asshats who turned the entire concept of the Hellfire Club into an exercise in absurdity/pedophilia are still alive and I’m still pissed off about it. And no, they haven’t changed at all. They’re still the same insufferable assholes. But they do at least remind Kid Omega that he tends to cause a lot more property damage at these parties. Hell, he did just that a few issues ago on his own birthday. But now he might as well be the bathroom attendant cleaning vomit off the floor from guys who can’t handle their blow. It does help reinforce the extent of Kid Omega’s inversion, but it doesn’t make seeing the Hellfire Brats again any less infuriating.

At this point, no more reinforcement is needed to show that Kid Omega is not his usual asshole self. But we get it anyways, even though most of us are starting to get sick of it and looking for more potent weed. After rubbing elbows with the Hellfire Brats, Kid Omega meets up with some old friends from the Jean Grey Institute, including Idie and Broo. For some reason, they actually accepted his invitation to a party at the Hellfire Club. That would be like Reed Richards agreeing to go to a strip club with Dr. Doom. It should raise more than a few red flags, but that’s besides the point.

Their reactions to Kid Omega’s invitation and attitude are funny. I’d be shocked too if I met my old algebra teacher and found out he became peaceful, non-violent hippie who didn’t hide a bottle of whiskey under his desk in between classes. It just falls too flat. Kid Omega attempts to paint it as something Wolverine would’ve wanted. But given how he’s gone out of his way to piss all over Wolverine’s grave in recent issues, it really has no impact. It’s not terrible. It’s not egregious, given the inverted circumstances. It’s just not all that interesting without the aid of LSD.

But guess what is more interesting? How about Storm doing whatever the fuck she wants to do, even if it means swapping spit with some guy she doesn’t know who happens to be at the party with another woman? That’s the sort of shit we would expect from Emma Frost or Mystique, but not Storm. Even if her lover did just die, this is now how she usually copes. Hell, if I recall, she was still at the stage where she was sleeping with Wolverine’s jacket and his empty bottles of whiskey. Now she’s already at that stage where she’s getting over a tragedy by getting under whoever moistens her panties. I’m shocked and incredibly turned on.

She doesn’t just kiss the guy either. She actually kisses the woman too. So yes, Storm has now basically become her own porno fantasy and my penis couldn’t be happier. There doesn’t need to be any monolog for this shit. Her actions are more than enough to reveal the extent of her inversion. This is not the same loving, compassionate Storm that so many people love and respect. This is a Storm who operates by the, “I’ll do and fuck whatever and whoever I want in that order.” It’s shocking, but sexy as fuck.

This surprises Kid Omega and probably gives him a hell of a boner. He doesn’t really do much. To be fair, he’s not in a position to do much either. This is Storm. This is one woman even Kid Omega doesn’t fuck with outside his darkest masturbatory fantasies. She makes it clear that she’s here to do whatever the fuck she wants to do and if he doesn’t like it, he can go suck a tornado’s dick. And when a couple of bouncers show up to try and kick her out, she kindly turns them away by kicking their asses.

Again, no monologue is needed for this shit. Storm’s actions do plenty to send the right message. This is an inverted Storm. She doesn’t give a flying fuck anymore. And anyone who dares fuck with her buzz can expect a concussion and a full-blown monsoon up their ass. It’s jarring, especially after all the grace and elegance she demonstrated in recent issues. And maybe this reveals some of the flaws within AXIS itself because it flips these characters so severely that it really doesn’t feel genuine anymore. This Storm might as well be an evil clone. But seeing as how there are enough Madelyne Pryors in the Marvel universe, I’m not going to say the concept is completely without merit.

Kid Omega is pretty shell shocked, but even in his inverted form, nobody really gives a shit about his opinion. It’s when the other students from the Jean Grey Institute that shit really gets serious. They calmly ask Storm if she’s okay. She responds by hitting them with a fucking hurricane. Now even for an inverted Storm, that’s pretty extreme. That’s like fighting an ant hill with napalm. There’s no discussion or debate either. She just tells them to fuck off and then helps herself to money in one of the cash registers. It’s another instance where the inversion becomes so extreme that it fails to have the same impact. We get it. She’s not herself. But there’s a fine line between being inverted and an evil clone. This story is basically dry-humping that line. It still gives me a boner, but only to an extent.

Finally, Kid Omega decided to do something. Unfortunately, doing something for him usually means doing something that ends up pissing everybody off. Even in his inverted form, Kid Omega finds a way. He uses a little telekinetic gun-slinging, along with some traditional mind-fuck to calm Storm the fuck down before she goes Hurricane Katrina on all of them. It works, but only to the extent that it pisses off the Hellfire Club’s insurance company. It doesn’t snap Storm out of her inversion. In fact, she decides to thank him for stopping her by punching him in the jaw. And even if it’s misguided in these circumstances, nobody would argue that Kid Omega hasn’t done plenty to earn 100 punches just like it.

It’s this moment that’s really the most telling. By having Storm and Kid Omega clash, it establishes a clear dichotomy with this inversion. Basically, an inverted Storm is way more powerful than an inverted Kid Omega. An inverted Storm is also way sexier and way easier to jerk off to. Anybody who denies that is lying through their teeth. And it’s this moment where Storm stands over an emasculated Kid Omega where we see just how strong these inversions truly are. It should make everybody a lot less inclined to piss Storm off, regardless of whether she’s inverted.

After Storm successfully shrinks Kid Omega’s balls the size of a peanut, she ditches him. This leaves Kid Omega behind with a very irritated group of Hellfire Brats. They told him to not fuck up another one of their parties. And even though this wasn’t his fault, he’s the one that gets the blame. It’s not fair, but nobody is going to feel too sorry for this kid. Let’s face it. Even if this party had gone as well as any traditional Hellfire orgy, he would have found a way to fuck up another one. As far as I’m concerned, Storm just saved them all and the insurance company a lot of frustration.

Even if nobody feels sorry for Kid Omega, it does put him in a position to better-understand what’s going on. He seems to know that something is very fucked up with him and Storm, but he still hasn’t connected the dots. And he’s supposed to be an omega level telepath, even though that label has become about as meaningless as an honorary degree from Arizona State. But even without the knowledge of Dr. Doom and the Scarlet Witch’s spell, he has a better idea of what’s going on here. He basically know knows what we all knew several issues ago. He’s way behind the curve and he’s really not in a position to do much else about it. So in that sense, not much gets accomplished other than ruining another perfectly good orgy.

I look at this story the same way I look at a dog that accidentally ate a bag of weed. It’s a spectacle, but not in the same sense that clown car crashing into a bakery is a spectacle. The strength of this story is its ability to make the concept of an evil Storm and a non-douchey Kid Omega entertaining. It works, but only in the sense that a firecracker works. It has its moments. It’s fun from a very shallow standpoint. It’s just not much more than that.

There’s no real impact on the ongoing events of AXIS. There’s nothing profound revealed about Storm, Kid Omega, the Hellfire Club, or the recent death of Wolverine. It’s just highlighting the fucked up nature of an evil Storm and a non-douchy Kid Omega. In this, Wolverine and the X-men #12 succeeds. It doesn’t make that concept feel fucked up to the point that no amount of bong hits can make it entertaining. It’s not going to leave anybody’s jaw on the floor either. Those who fantasize about Storm being a dominatrix might have something to work with here, but I imagine those fantasies have no place outside seedy European clubs. I give this comic a 6 out of 10. It’s good. It neither induces vomiting nor inspires multiple nerdgasms. For those who don’t have access to a clown car or know a good bakery, this comic will do the job. Nuff said!

Scanned Thoughts: Wolverine and the X-men #11

Mourning the loss of a loved one is like the antithesis of masturbation in that there’s no wrong way to do it and nobody really enjoys it. I imagine it doesn’t suck quite as much in the Marvel universe because death is such a revolving door that for some characters, their loved ones might as well treat it as one of Brett Favre’s temporary retirements. Some may argue this limits the emotional impact of death. I think it’s refreshing because death sucks enough in real life. We don’t need it to suck as much in comics. That doesn’t mean it still won’t suck for Wolverine’s loved ones. His death has just started to reverberate throughout the X-men comics like letter from the IRS at Willie Nelson’s house.

Wolverine and the X-men #11 continues to follow Melita Gardner, one of Wolverine’s ex-girlfriends that didn’t wind up dead somehow, as she compiles stories and pictures for a book she’s writing to celebrate Wolverine’s life and the fact she got to bone him without dying. She’s already interacted with the students and staff of the school he helped found and they’ve recounted some fun stories, many of which ignore certain unflattering details like Wolverine’s whiskey stash, his temper, and his tendency for hitting on married women out of respect. Hopefully that means they don’t forget those shortcomings when he eventually returns, most likely in time for his next shitty solo movie at Fox. And hopefully, Melita doesn’t let that stop her from doing her job. That would make her more dedicated than half the people at CNN.

Much of Melita’s story and the work she’s been doing on this book has been built on flashbacks. Lots and lots of flashbacks. While flashbacks are usually a good way to make a comic difficult to read while stoned, the nature of the story here makes it work. Melita has triggered many in interviewing the folks at the Jean Grey Institute. But there’s still room for her own flashbacks. It’s hard to believe, but she did actually date Wolverine for a while and she actually survived. I know I said that already, but I think it’s worth repeating. Melita dated Wolverine, survived, and didn’t swear revenge on him. That makes her one of the most mature relationships he’s had in recent years. It also makes a flashback of her and Wolverine when they were together feel fitting. It even shows that in terms of ex-girlfriends, she’s a freakin’ unicorn in terms of ending things on good terms.

In the present, Melita is still seeking out stories about Wolverine from those who knew him best. She spent all of last issue exploring the Jean Grey institute. Now she seeks out others he worked with. In the same way Wolverine gets around every bar and Japanese whore house, he’s also had quite a few crossovers. Spider-Man is by far one of the characters he’s worked with the most and Melita makes it a point to get in touch with him (through Peter Parker, of course). While Wolverine’s reputation among the X-men is solid, his reputation with Spider-Man is slightly more complicated and not just because they’re both so fond of sexy redheads.

But the meeting doesn’t just lead to another flashback. It actually gets even more emotional than Melita’s flashback. It’s easy to forget in this era when we know celebrities die every time they start trending on Twitter that word doesn’t always travel as fast. The news of Wolverine’s death hasn’t exactly leaked out. It’s not like a reporter found him lying dead in a tub of whiskey. So that means those not in the X-men, like Spider-Man, wouldn’t know about his death. And when Melita reveals it, this makes for another emotional moment that hits all the right chords.

But it doesn’t get too depressing. This is where can do more than just confuse the hell out of stoners and drunks. Spider-Man recounts to Melita one of his many crossovers with Wolverine, but he singled out a battle against an army of Doombots as the story most worth telling. I can’t say I blame him. Any memory that involves busting up Doombots with Wolverine is a memory worth cherishing. But it’s a memory that does more than just mix in some action. It actually involves a meaningful conversation between Spider-Man and Wolverine about the merits of him starting the Jean Grey Institute and what kind of example a hard-drinking, temperamental Canadian would set. It’s not just fitting. It’s downright relevant and shows that even when he’s in the middle of fighting armies of Doombots, Wolverine can inspire more than just violence and redhead fetishes.

It’s a good flashback during an emotional moment. That’s exactly why it’s somewhat jarring when it skips right ahead to Melita and Spider-Man confronting Kid Omega. I won’t say that’s completely random. Kid Omega is someone who was heavily influenced by Wolverine and not always in a good way. In fact, they both influenced one another in way too many bad ways, but it was part of what made them both better as characters so I’m not going to get too picky about the details. I’m too drunk for that.

Regardless of what those details might be, Kid Omega is still an omega-level prick. While others are reacting to the death of Wolverine, Kid Omega threw a big ass party. And even after everybody passed out, he decided to deal with it by sitting on his ass and watching movies. Laziness is a good reaction to many things. The death of a friend isn’t one of them.

Needless to say, Meltia and Spider-Man don’t take kindly to him. At the same time, Kid Omega does offer a very different take on Wolverine. Whereas others share fond memories and relevant flashbacks, Kid Omega offers none of that shit. He basically spits on Wolverine’s fresh corpse, saying he was just a killer at heart who pretended to be a school headmaster. And that school he ran might as well have been a training ground for kids destined to scare the shit out of ordinary people. It leads to Melita and Spider-Man each taking turns shutting him up, but that doesn’t make what he says less relevant.

Kid Omega is a dick so what he says about Wolverine shouldn’t be taken with the same credibility as Bill Maher’s last drug test. But what he says is somewhat valid. Wolverine was, at his core, a killer. He always reverted to his killer instincts in some form or another. Even when he tried being a peaceful headmaster, he still went out on missions that involved him stabbing people. It is a disconnect, but Spider-Man rightly points out how full of shit Kid Omega is in using it as the sole basis for judging Wolverine. Part of what made Wolverine such a hero was that he fought so others wouldn’t have to. That makes him awesome in ways that most asshole teenagers can never understand.

So meeting with Kid Omega didn’t lead to a flashback or give Melita a balanced perspective for her book, but it did offer some insight. She and Spider-Man leave in what I imagine to be a pretty pissed off state of mind. They end up parting ways, agreeing that Kid Omega is full of shit and deserves more than a few spankings. But that only makes getting a better perspective more important.

And who better to give that perspective than Storm? It’s a moment that has been building since the previous issue, two of Wolverine’s ex-lovers meeting and recounting the life of a man they one loved. This isn’t like Jerry Springer when two angry ex-girlfriends to at one another in a way college students can cheer for and/or jerk off to. These two women both loved Wolverine dearly and Storm happened to be the one Wolverine was actively dating when he died. It sounds crazier than anything Kid Omega could say, but it is possible for two women who dated the same man to bond and Storm gives her the best possible perspective Wolverine could hope for that doesn’t involve a bartender.

It leads to another flashback. This one is a lot less complicated than the one Spider-Man recounted. It’s as basic a recollection as anyone can have with Wolverine. Storm goes on a trip to Japan with Wolverine, they get attacked by ninjas, and they kick the asses of said ninjas. It’s practically a dinner date for Wolverine and the women he loves. Hell, it might even count as foreplay. It doesn’t come off as overly romantic, but it shows that Wolverine and Storm could kick a lot of ass together. They could battle an army of ninjas, still catch a movie, and then make sweet love on top of Mount Fuji. It’s as romantic and as awesome as it sounds. It is also by far the most meaningful flashback in this whole arc.

Beyond the flashback, Storm makes a very powerful point that effectively tells Melita all she needs to know about Wolverine. This is a man who will fight, stab, and swear his way through any battle. But he’s also willing to trust others to be just as awesome. He trusted Storm to hold her own against an army of ninjas, just as he trusted her give horny every time they were behind closed doors. It’s a special kind of trust that most killers and stab-happy drunks don’t give, but he gave it to those he cared about. It’s a powerful message and one that could only be delivered by Storm. It gives Melita just the right perspective she needs to make her book work. As the woman whose love for Wolverine was probably the most genuine, it makes for such a satisfying moment.

Leave it Kid Omega to cheapen that moment. Melita and Spider-Man must have made a couple of brain cells semi-functional because Kid Omega finally decided to deal with Wolverine’s death in a somewhat less-douchy way. For him, that means traveling to the Savage Land and leaving a monument for him. Sure, it’s a shitty monument. A rocking chair is hardly a monument to Wolverine. If he really gave a damn, he would leave a giant case of whiskey. But still, it’s better than nothing and probably the most Wolverine could’ve expected from Kid Omega.

The main theme of this story isn’t built around funerals, vengeance, or killer robots. For once, the death of a major character is explored in a way that feels genuine. The X-men aren’t setting out on some mission to turn Sabretooth into a rug. They’re just recounting how he affected their lives and Melita Gardner provides a perfect perspective for that mission. Some of the stories she explores are cheesy, but they all hit the right emotional chords. Even Kid Omega’s brief sliver of emotion felt genuine. That alone gives this story the depth it needs to be awesome. It’s still lacking in some areas and the constant flashbacks are somewhat jarring. But it feels like a much healthier way to deal with the death of a character. That’s why I give Wolverine and the X-men #11 an 8 out of 10. In a comic book world where every great loss seems to require more therapy than anyone could reasonably provide, this is probably as healthy and competent a recourse as we’ll get. And it didn’t even require Oprah or Dr. Phil. Nuff said!

Scanned Thoughts: Storm #3

I know I give ex-girlfriends a lot of shit on this blog. To be fair, some do plenty to earn it. But I understand there are some that are actually civil when it comes to breakups. These women might as well be on the endangered species list with the tiger and the spotted owl. That’s what makes them so precious. In terms of ex-girlfriends, having someone like Storm could either be really good or really bad. Most people who get on Storm’s bad side live every waking moment terrified that a lightning bolt will get shoved up their ass at any given moment. But unlike most gods, she’s merciful and understanding. She’s had her share of love interests in the past. She’s done a lot in recent times to make Wolverine her most passionate interest, which is fitting since he’s about to die. But of all the lovers Storm has had, few have been more complicated and confusing as Forge. For a time, they had the kind of chemistry that would’ve made them the tabloid equivalent to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Then they had to become Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. It’s been a long time since they’ve interacted. Hell, Storm has been married and divorced in that period. Now in Storm #3, their paths are set to cross again. I don’t expect Storm to be the kind of vindictive ex-girlfriend who dedicates her every breath to emasculating all men around her. But even if she did, who would I be to question a goddess like her?

By this standard, I would say Beast counts as an infidel because he keeps busting Storm’s balls for some of the exceedingly noble shit she’s been doing lately. First, she dared to help a village that had been under the thumb of a ruthless dictator. Then, she located a bunch of missing teenagers that Callisto had been looking after and decided to leave them in her hands. This all seems too Cyclops-like to Beast so he complains, but as always nothing comes of it. He just reminds her that doing the right thing and being awesome sometimes has consequences and his balls are too fragile to take some of those consequences. But that’s his problem.

Beyond being a douche, he does give her something of substance beyond his constant whining. Someone wants Storm to visit Kenya to oversee the deployment of a new technology that will combat drought. It’s pretty exciting because if it works, it means her homeland would be free of famine and U2 fundraisers forever. Having once been worshipped as a goddess back in Kenya, she has plenty of reasons to go and getting away from Beast’s bitching is definitely top five.

She returns to Kenya, recounting all the ways it’s near and dear to her along the way. Anyone not familiar with her history won’t have to rely entirely on Wikipedia for once, which might be jarring for some readers. She’s then greeted by an elder named Esther Shira, who was among those who worshipped her. It’s not every day someone gets to actually meet the goddess they worshipped without the aid of potent hallucinogens. Usually, that takes the fun out of it, but Storm’s beauty and grace more than makes up for it. Esther provides a kind and welcoming face for Storm and the villagers, who I imagine wouldn’t hesitate to worship her again if she could ensure they never had to listen to another U2 concert again.

At first, it’s shaping up to be a nice, pleasant visit to her homeland. Then Storm meet’s Esther’s son, Noah, who’s kind of an asshole. He’s not an Iceman-caliber asshole, but at least he has an excuse. He’s helping with the new irrigation system, which apparently had its water cut off three years ago because someone didn’t get their bribe or someone just felt like being a dick. Not going to start accusing Iceman or Beast, but I’m not removing them from my list of top suspects. Whatever the reason, it provides a decent context as to why this town wants this new technology to work. It would help them sleep easier at night knowing their likelihood of going hungry isn’t contingent on how much of a dick someone is willing to be.

Then Storm’s trip home gets even less pleasant because Esther reveals who is responsible for providing this technology. It’s not the Gates foundation or Warren Buffet. It’s her old flame, Forge. I’m sure Storm was hoping that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were the ones behind this, but that might have been asking for a bit too much. It makes for an awkward, yet somewhat hollow moment. But it’s a moment that has been a long time in the making.

I say it’s hollow because as awkward as it was, it didn’t really have much of an emotional impact. It was basically, “Oh…my ex is here. Okay then, now I want to kick Beast’s ass.” It undermines the history between these two characters. Granted, that history is somewhat buried and hasn’t really been a factor since the Reagan administration. But for a time, Storm and Forge were a pretty serious relationship. Now their paths finally cross again after she’s been married, a queen, and re-adopted her Mohawk hair style.

It’s not completely random either. Forge actually decided to test this technology in this village because Storm told him about it back when they were together. And he specifically didn’t mention his name when he sent Storm the invitation. I don’t want to say that’s a dick move because he’s trying to feed starving people here. I’ll just say that he’s lucky Storm is so understanding because inviting an ex is usually like inviting a hungry pit bull to bacon factory.

Despite the minimal emotional impact, Forge gets right down to business. He starts demonstrating his technology, which is capable of creating a small storm cloud over a field. It’s basically the kind of shit Storm can do in her sleep. The problem is when he tries to turn it up, he triggers the kind of shit she would conjure if she found Sinister choking a baby kitten. There’s very little balance in between. It’s like my shower, which has only two settings: arctic blast and devil piss. He says it needs calibrating, but the blessings of a goddess certainly couldn’t hurt. Storm tells him that nature is all about balance and by fucking with that balance, he’s going to get way worse than a few lightning bolts up his ass. Most people probably pray for that whenever they need to call tech support for Verizon.

But making this technology work isn’t the only conflict here. Some, namely that prick Noah, aren’t too keen about getting this kind of help, even if it’s from a goddess. I would say that’s a dick move, but he and Forge do make some valid points. With the exception of stoners and S&M enthusiasts, nobody likes having to rely on outsiders to survive. Noah thinks relying on this technology could make them the equivalent of crack heads. Forge makes clear that he intends to let the village control this technology, not some poorly-managed foundation run by rock bands looking for good PR. There’s not a lot of trust and given Forge’s history, that’s not entirely unreasonable. It still feels like a shitty excuse to refuse a way to combat famine. There are many legitimate complaints about not accepting handouts, but even the Koch brothers would agree that preventing famine deserves an exception.

Whatever their reservations, Storm still decides to help. Preventing famine in her home country is kind of important to her. She starts helping Forge out, but this is where she starts recalling all the reasons why trusting her ex-boyfriend might not be the best way to aid her people. She starts reminding him of some of the shit he pulled back in the day and she doesn’t just focus on the nasty stuff that probably made it into Penthouse. It makes for a much more volatile test and volatile by Storm standards means hiding in the basement like doomsday preppers for those of us with less divine standards.

She starts listing more instances where Forge fucked up. He tries to make the same excuses that so many others made, saying he wasn’t in his right state of mind. If that excuse doesn’t work for Cyclops, it sure as hell doesn’t work for Forge. Storm then makes clear that if for any moment she suspects his asshole inclinations factor into this technology of his, she’ll make sure it fails before it can screw over the innocent people it’s supposed to help. And being her ex, he can expect her to be extra careful when judging him. That means Forge better have an adamantium cup protecting his balls.

To his credit, Forge keeps up his end of the bargain. He’s able to calibrate the machine and makes sure it works in a way that won’t punch Mother Nature in the jaw. The problem is that Noah, the second biggest asshole in this series after Beast, isn’t satisfied with that. He wants Forge to make it so they still have the option to fuck with the weather if they’re so inclined. Maybe they think a gentle rain just isn’t enough. Maybe they’ll just get bored one day and decide to unleash a hurricane at some neighboring village that gave them a dirty look. Forge doesn’t like it, but he’s not in a position to oppose him. For Storm, however, Noah can safely assume he’s more fucked than a wounded deer in front of Ted Nugant’s house.

Storm doesn’t wait for anyone to reason with Noah. She lives with Beast and Iceman. She knows when douchebags can’t be reasoned with. So she does what she has to do and destroys the machine before Noah can claim it. This rightly upsets Forge and Esther, but Storm rightly points out that nobody trusts each other enough with this gear. She then lists all the ways it could be horribly misused and after Noah expressed an interest in having that option, she’s perfectly justified in destroying it. The threat of famine sucks, but the threat of fucking up the weather sucks even worse and for way more people. It’s a difficult decision that even gods struggle to make, but it’s one Storm makes and she does it with a grace worthy of a goddess. I know I should be used to that by now in this series. I really should. But like a cold beer on a hot summer day, it never gets old.

Storm leaves Forge to continue working with Noah in hopes they’ll rebuild the machine and the trust they’ll need to run it. It’ll also give Esther plenty of time to punish Noah for being such an asshat. It makes for one last nice moment between Storm and Forge. They don’t go so far as to have any makeup sex, although I’m sure the thought crossed Forge’s mind. Storm isn’t even ready to have the, “Let’s just be friends,” talk either. But she makes clear that she doesn’t hold grudges and she’s willing to give friendship a chance. Whereas most goddesses would smite infidels and laugh while they suffer, Storm is willing to be friends with them. I’m pretty sure that puts her several rungs above every other god ever worshipped, but that really shouldn’t surprise anyone at this point.

Having a good ex-girlfriend is like having an inoperable but benign tumor. It can be horribly uncomfortable and unsightly, but it’s better than the alternative. Now Storm certainly has reasons to be a lousy ex-girlfriend to Forge. Their history has been troubled at times, albeit not to the degree that Tom Cruise’s last marriage, but she’s not one to hold a grudge. For any ex-girlfriend to say that is like hearing a cop say, “Meh, don’t worry about all those unpaid parking tickets.” It’s both liberating for forge and symbolic for Storm. It once again shows that she’s a goddess worthy of worship. She’ll take the moral high ground and look dead sexy doing it.

And like previous issues, she’s willing to go out of her way to take on heroic tasks that don’t involve killer robots. Helping a poor African village create a better irrigation system to avert famine might not be as impressive as hitting a Sentinel with a few dozen bolts of lightning, but it’s every bit as heroic. It’s the kind of shit Bono fights for when he’s not pissing off ITunes users. This issue didn’t hit the same emotional chords as the first two, but it’s still a quality story about Storm being awesome. Storm #3 gets an 8 out of 10. Forge is in an elite club of men, having dated a beautiful woman and not been subject to their bitter wrath. His balls should thank him every day for that because there are too many men in this world, especially those who have never heard of a pre-nup, who can’t say the same. Nuff said!

Scanned Thoughts: Wolverine and the X-men #8

There are a number of things on my bucket list that I know I probably won't have a chance to fulfill before my liver shuts down. I'm not saying it's impossible that I'll get to go on a date with Jennifer Lawrence and Megan Fox that ends with us naked in a tub full of whiskey. I'm just saying I'm keeping my expectations realistic. We all know we're going to die. It's one of those disconcerting things we like to forget about with religion, drinking, or a mixture of both. Wolverine has been lucky in that he hasn't really had to worry about that shit, but he still drinks anyways. That all changed when he lost his healing factor. Now he drinks for an entirely different reason, but he also has more urgency to complete his bucket list. There is at least one thing he knows he can cross over. He can die knowing that he got to love an actual goddess of a woman in Storm. And in Wolverine and the X-men #8, he gets to go on what might be his last date with her. I don't care how he dies. He could die a terrible death and have Sabretooth shit out his remains. He'll still be able to say he died happy on some levels because he got to date Storm.

To make sure this doesn't end up as one of those dates that gets interrupted by a Sentinel attack or an invasion from the future, Wolverine and Storm set their date up in a place where they can work around the constant threat of the institute being blown up. They decide to share a little romance within The World, the cozy little pocket dimension that Fantomex keeps in his back pocket next to naked pictures of Psylocke. In this place, time flows differently. A few minutes to us is a lifetime in the World. That means they could go on multiple dates, complete with heavy petting and foreplay, in the time it takes to heat up a hot pocket. Part of me wants to call it another bullshit time travel gimmick, but I prefer to call it a time exploit. It's not bullshit if it's the equivalent to a cheat code in in a video game.

And Storm and Wolverine take full advantage of it, treating it the same way any adults would treat a date night. Except for them, a date in the World means a romantic dinner atop some giant rock tower with flying dinosaur-like creatures flying around overhead. It's not as fucked up as it sounds. In fact, Storm finds it romantic. She might even be turned on by it. Plus, it's probably way cheaper than getting reservations at some overpriced restaurant on Yelp.

While time is flowing differently for them, life at the Jean Grey Institute continues as normal. It's still the same place where young mutants learn to deal with their new powers while living under the constant threat of the school getting blown up every other week. And after the recent battle with Faithful John and the Phoenix Corporation, the mood is still somewhat tense. It's like the day after a drug raid from the cops and nobody has any weed. Some, like Armor, are still struggling to cope without the aid of weed. There's not much to be gained from this, other than acting as a reminder that Storm and Wolverine are very much the heart of the Jean Grey Institute and these students still need them. And as much as they care for their students, they need a break from their teenage angsty bullshit and they'll hide in a pocket dimension to get it.

Storm and Wolverine spend the equivalent of seven days in the World, which amounts to multiple dates and plenty of make-up sex. There's no ambiguity or teasing here. Storm is shown topless and quite cozy with a shirtless Wolverine. Were this a show on HBO, there would definitely be some tits, bush, beans, and franks being served. My penis is already at full throttle, contemplating all the ways Storm and Wolverine spent seven days alone together. It's the kind of romantic getaway that few heroes ever get, even when they try to cheat time. It's a beautiful thing that'll bring tears and boners for everyone.

Unfortunately, even pocket dimensions are prone to cock-blocking. Seven days of peace, quiet, and lovemaking were just too much for Storm and Wolverine to enjoy. Something had to come along to ruin it all. A bunch of Skrull-lite aliens attack them in this private moment, effectively killing any chance at another romp. But they don't let it completely kill the romance. There's only so much excitement they can get on a date without something trying to kill them.

It still becomes an annoyance because Wolverine gets knocked out at one point, as he often does. When he wakes up, he and Storm are now somehow leaders of a resistance army to overthrow some upstart tyrant named War King who's trying to take over The World. It couldn't be more generic if it were a side-quest in an Elder Scrolls game. They even have a new friend, Azuth the Elder, who has incredibly poor English skills and way too much enthusiasm for when it comes to fighting oppressive tyrants. But Storm is already fully into it, treating this the same way most couples would treat a romantic walk in the park. Wolverine is frustrated, having had enough people try to kill him since he lost his healing factor. But Storm is already wearing a sexy resistance uniform so he's not in a position to argue.

It only takes them 11 days to stage a final showdown with War King. There's not much detail given on how Wolverine and Storm set up this showdown or how they led some massive resistance effort. There's no epic build-up to the battle. There's no elaborate backstory. It just cuts straight to Wolverine taking on War King and annoys him long enough for Storm to finish him off. It's no Lord of the Rings trilogy. And for once, I'm okay with there being few details.

The main point here isn't to make Storm and Wolverine the head of some rebellion. Hell, that in and of itself could be it's own series if Marvel were inclined to do something so awesome. The point of this issue is for Wolverine and Storm to go on a date. For them, a successful date sometimes involves overthrowing a repressive tyrant. It's like an extreme form of role playing, minus the goofy costumes and bad acting.

Three months later and Storm is already being worshiped as a goddess and a noble ruler, as she should be. They've already got statues of her likeness and they probably pamper her and Wolverine the same way a spa pampers one of the Kardashian sisters. It sounds like a pretty sweet deal, being ruler of their own little world while the world outside them is always intent on blowing them up. But it's still not why they came to The World in the first place. Sure, overthrowing a tyrannical leader is nice and all, but they get that shit as X-men. Because of that, they start having doubts that they can ever get a little peace and quiet where they can just be two people in love enjoying each other's company. It's like living in a world where people take the Catholic Church seriously. They never have a moment to just enjoy themselves.

This leads them to get away from the chaos yet again. More months pass within the World while the rest of the world is basically in the middle of a commercial break in a baseball game. The events start to drag here. First, Wolverine has a chat with Azuth on why he's not the one running things. There's some insight into how he ended up on the wrong side of a tyrannical clusterfuck, but it's still poorly detailed and basically a distraction from more important shit, like Wolverine and Storm making better use of all this time.

Somehow that leads to Wolverine playing survivor in some fucked up version of the Amazon. He's now got a full beard, no doubt a desire to turn his manliness up to 11 for Storm. He still ends up having to be rescued by her when he gets chased by a T-rex sized mammoth, but he doesn't seem to mind. More time passes and now they're building something together for reasons that aren't explained. I get that the passage of time in the World is different, but it gets pretty fucking confusing at times. It's hard to tell whether this still counts as a date. But nobody has tried to skip out on the check so I'm assuming it's still on.

It finally starts making sense again after a year in the World, which I guess is as long as a re-run of Robot Chicken in the real world. In that year, Storm and Wolverine have spent enough time to appreciate their romance. It leads to a very honest, very heartfelt conversation that should give Oprah fans a pussy boner. Wolverine basically tells Storm how much she means to him. She's not this unattainable piece of ass he could never tap like Jean Grey. She's not decadent one night stand like Domino. He makes it clear to her that she has a special place in his heart. And for once, there are no conflicting emotions. There's no shitty love triangle. There's just an honest, sincere showing of emotion from a man whose emotions are usually limited to being pissed off and drunk.

For Storm/Wolverine fans, this is the kind of scene that usually only exists in wet dreams and poorly written fan fiction. Ever since Storm and Wolverine got together, I've been frustrated by the utter lack of development they've gotten. After putting so much effort into failed relationships like Cyclops/Emma and Storm/Black Panther, it felt like gross negligence to not give Storm/Wolverine that kind of treatment. But waiting in line to get a kiss from Jennifer Lawrence, some things are worth the wait. And this powerful moment was definitely worth the wait, no matter what pocket dimension it was in.

Eventually, Storm and Wolverine return to the regular world where they go back to helping young mutants like Armor and preparing for the next attempt to blow up the institute. But the don't leave the World completely unaffected. Before they left, they reveal that they actually built a version of the Jean Grey Institute in the world for Azuth to run. It's a fitting way for them to leave their mark. They overthrow a tyrant, start a school, and squeeze in a little sweet loving along the way. Overall, it makes for the perfect date. It's just sad that it'll probably the be last one Wolverine ever goes on. Even so, the fact he went on it with Storm means he can still die happy.

This issue accomplished one thing more than anything else. It made sure that when Wolverine dies, it it'll have a devastating impact on Storm. This is issue is a case study in what Marvel should've done if they wanted to make Storm and Black Panther a romance that people would actually give a shit about. Thanks to a different kind of time travel that I didn't find infuriating for once, Storm and Wolverine got to spend a year together learning to love, cherish, and relate to one another. There are celebrity engagements that don't last that long. And while their date got side-tracked along the way, they still found a way to make it feel meaningful and deep. This issue highlighted all the ways in which Storm and Wolverine are so good for one another. Fuck retcons, royalty, and contrived marriages. This is how to make a romantic story awesome. And with Wolverine's death coming soon, this is just going to give it way more impact. Wolverine and the X-men #8 gets an 8 out of 10. But for fans of the Storm/Wolverine relationship, this issue should be encased in adamantium and preserved until the end times. Nuff said!