X-Men: Apocalypse Final Trailer [HD] - Snikt Motherfucker!

Just one month left! One month until we find out once and for all whether Fox can make an X-men movie that doesn't suck and doesn't rely on Ryan Reynolds' insane dedication to making a Deadpool movie. There are a lot of ways Fox can fuck this up. They've done it in the past and it's unreasonable to think they won't do it again. But I'm feeling a bit more upbeat and maybe a bit high. I'm willing to give any movie a chance that has Jennifer Lawrence, Sophie Turner, Alexandra Shipp, and Oscar Issac a chance to be awesome. The final trailer came out today and it even offers something that might give it some extra awesome to compete with Disney, aliens, and ninja turtles. One word people. Snikt!


Oh Hugh, I'm going to miss you. I think I speak for a lot of X-men fans and horny housewives when I say we are so going to miss you. Nuff said!

The Wolverine Trailer (And Why Movie Wolverine Is A Total Pussy)

It happened again today. Another trailer for another upcoming X-men movie came out. For me, that means one of two things. First, it means the executives at Fox are low on money for blow and hookers. Second, it means I need to stock up on hard liquor, weed, and Valium because every bit of news regarding X-men movies has made me want to shove C4 up my urethra, swallow several sticks of dynamite, and jump into a live volcano. But this is a blog about X-men and I wouldn't be a very responsible drunk of I didn't do a post about it.

First off, we already know what to expect with The Wolverine. If you've seen Batman Begins, you're not missing anything. Wolverine has suffered a huge loss, he's gone emo, he ditches the world he knows to find meaning, and ends up getting help from some stereotypical Asian guys. But unlike Batman, Wolverine does it in a way that somehow makes one of the most badass characters in the history of Marvel comics into a total pussy.

Let me start off by saying that I know I'm in the minority here. I am among those few X-men fans who absolutely hates the X-men movies. And I'm not just talking about Brett fucking Ratner or fucking Barakapool. I fucking hate Bryan Singer's movies. Yes, I know his movies paved the way for comic book movies everywhere. I know he's regularly praised for his brilliance and I do concede that he's done some great shit. I will gladly kiss his ass for the rest of my days for The Usual Suspects and House. But he's a fucking dipshit when it comes to comic book movies and he took X-men and butt-fucked it to a a point where the only good X-men movie we can get is X-men First Class, a movie that he was never involved in and didn't use his precious Wolverine.

This trailer in many ways highlights why Singer's X-men movies suck donkey balls and why there's no reason to hope that Days of Futures Past will be any better. First off, let's look at movie Wolverine and compare him to his comic counterpart. In the movies Wolverine meets up with the X-men, makes friends with Rogue, flirts with Jean, but then ditches the team at the end of the first movie. He comes back in the second movie, basically does jack shit aside from throw temper tantrums, tries to bone Jean Grey again, and basically distracts from every single side-plot. And in X3, he's supposed to now be teaching the team. He tries to bone Jean Grey again, but only ends up having to murder her ass and fails to keep Cyclops and Xavier from getting killed. And what does he do after all this tragedy? Well according to this trailer and the other trailer, he fucking leaves!

That's right. At a time when the X-men have lost Charles Xavier and two of the most capable X-men, he fucking up and leaves! And why? Because he's still pining for Jean Grey? Well here's one major detail that separates his boner for Jean in the movies compared to the comics. He knew Jean Grey for only a few days. I need to emphasize this. HE KNEW JEAN GREY FOR ONLY A FEW FUCKING DAYS! He left at the end of X1. She died at the end of X2 shortly after he returned. And she returned in X3 just so he could kill her. Yet somehow she's now the love of his fucking life? Never mind that they never got to hook up in the comics outside of AUs and never mind that she fucking married Cyclops, who was basically killed off to make room for Wolverine. How the fuck is Jean suddenly this epic love affair with Wolverine when he didn't even know the first thing about her? I mean look at X1 and X2. He had more screen time with Rogue than he did with Jean and now in this trailer he's having a vision of her? That's the kind of shit we expect from Edward Cullen. Not Wolverine.

On top of that, I need to reiterate something else. He fucking ditched the X-men at the end of X3! They are probably hurting a great deal after so many deaths, but he doesn't see fit to stick around and help? He just goes all emo and runs off to Japan? Since when the fuck did Wolverine, the badass hero who was supposed to have a sense of honor, get so sensitive that he just ditches a bunch of young mutants who need him badly because of some woman he barely fucking knew?! That's not badass. That's not just a dick move either. That's just being a flat out pissant little bitch!

Compare that with recent events in the comics. Professor Charles Xavier and Jean Grey died too. But in the comics, Wolverine actually stuck around and developed a close personal relationship with both. And when they did die with Jean in Planet X and Xavier in Avengers vs. X-men, he didn't fucking leave. He stayed with the X-men and became a leader even though he knows he's not good at it. Just read his fucking speech in Uncanny Avengers #1. That's fucking Wolverine. If that Wolverine met his movie version and found out that he just ditched the X-men, he wouldn't just murder his ass. He would piss on the remains.

Don't get me wrong. I love Hugh Jackman. I love Femke Jenssen. But the characters they played were fucked. Wolverine was a total fucking pussy. And Jean Grey in the movies was nothing more than a walking dick warmer for Wolverine that he never got to try out. And yet we're somehow supposed to respect him as this badass? I would respect a fucking Kardashian before I respect someone like that!

And I do blame Bryan Singer. He's the one who got the ball rolling on this shitty incarnation of Wolverine. He's the one who basically turned the X-men movies into glorified Wolverine movies and nothing more. And now he's the one trying to turn another epic X-men story, Days of Futures Past, into a movie. I have absolutely no confidence in him, nor do I have confidence in the future of X-men movies. I believe the only way this could ever be fixed is if Days of Futures Past becomes to X-men what Batman and Robin was to Batman movies. Bryan Singer needs to become the new Joel Shumacher so that he will never be allowed to touch another X-men movie, or comic book movie, until the end of time. He's already bombed on Jack the Giant Killer. Just one more bomb and he can be done with this shit so someone else can take over. At this point, I would give Joel Shumacher another shot at directing a comic book movie than I would Bryan Singer.

I get that this drunken rant is just that. A rant. I also know that Byran Singer is never going to read this shit and neither is Hugh Jackman or anyone at Fox. But I'm just putting it out there. Singer's X-men movies suck! His Wolverine sucks! His Jean Grey sucks! And this movie and Days of Futures Past is destined to suck if he keeps doing the same shit. And until that changes, I have no hope that we can ever have a decent X-men movie in the way. Instead, we're only going to be stuck with shit like this.

Nuff said!

X-men First Class Movie News - Emma Frost Casted?

So every now and then I take a peak into the workings of the X-men movie business. To me, it's like going in for rectal surgery on the same day I have root canals. It's not my fault that X3 hurt so damn much and that any mention of X-men movies evokes an anger that would make the Hulk squeamish. But I'm trying to be optimistic about X-men First Class. It still isn't clear if this is a reboot or something different, but with Bryan Singer on board there's enough promise to risk another soul-crushing disappointment again.

This week more casting rumors have been flying around like herpes at Flava Flav's house. Rumors of Magneto being casted have been popping up. Professor Xavier is already in the fold with James McAvoy. Now it appears Michael Fassbender may be up for the Magneto role.

Screenrant: Is Michael Fassbender the new Magneto?

It wouldn't be new territory for him. He's done comic movies before such as 300 and Jonah Hex. But he's a little on the young side to be playing a holocaust survivor. Even if this goes back to the early days when Xavier and Magneto were working together, it may only work if it's a flashback. I know makeup artists can do all sorts of amazing things with age, but depending on which time frame the movie will be in it's going to be a factor.

But while the Magneto casting is typical fodder, more are probably excited about the news regarding Emma Frost. Because seriously, what guy wouldn't be more intrigued by the X-men's hot blonde vixen who flaunts her sexuality more than a pre-Karballa Madonna? Whoever plays her role will have to have with her a very special kind of hotness that will send fanboys everywhere into boner-inducing seizures. It seems they may have that in Rosamund Pike.

Screenrant: Rosemund Pike as Emma Frost in X-men First Class?

Now she's not going to be the first one to play Emma. In the last craptastic X-flick, Wolverine Origins, Emma did make a brief appearance in the final moments of the movie. She appeared to be just a teenager at the time. If Pike is going to take the role, that may be a bit trickier because in real life she's 31. I know it's taboo to talk about a woman's age, but when she's smoking hot age is just a gauge between the youthful free spirit stage and the full blown cougar stage. Pike seems to be a bit in between.

This brings up another issue. If Emma is older in this then it won't be nearly as believable as a direct continuation from Wolverine Origins. If this is supposed to be the X-men as teenagers, then an older Emma could mean her role is different. Perhaps she's the X-men's official sex ed teacher? Or maybe she plays the role of teacher for the Academy of Tomorrow (a rival for the institute and possibly a source of inspiration)? Or they could just do what they're doing with Magneto and make her look like a teenager.

My only problem with this is if Emma is going to be a teenager and Cyclops and Jean Grey are already confirmed as being in the movie, then it's almost a certainty that the Scott/Jean/Emma love triangle from the comics will be utilized. While this isn't a bad plot point, it's worth pointing out that it's been fucking done already! Seriously, the first three X-men movies went out of their way to flesh out a ridiculously lame incarnation of the Scott/Jean/Logan triangle. It was one of the worst parts of the film due to sheer logistics. Logan had the hots for Jean in X1, but left at the end of the movie. He arrived in X2 and still had the hots, but only got to flirt a little before she died. Then in X3 somehow she's the love of his life? Bullshit! They barely knew each other for a few days at the most! Yet somehow that's supposed to be deeper than the relationship she's had with Scott, which almost certainly spanned more than just a few days? If that's how the movies handle love triangles, I have no hope for the Scott/Jean/Emma triangle. Seriously, how hard would it be to just let Scott/Jean develop without the need of a fucking love triangle? Hasn't that been brought enough shame to the world of X-men movies?

Whatever they choose as a plot, Emma's presence can only add more sex appeal. That's never a bad thing, but if it leads them down that same road of cliched plots it could be. At the very least it looks like Pike is on the fast track to making X-men First Class more appealing. It'll all depend on how other characters are cast. There's only a year left to put this movie together and if they start rushing it then the X-men movie franchise is in even deeper shit than before.

But movies aside, doesn't Pike have a good Emma Frost feel to her? You be the judge.


On a less serious note, I just added some new pics to my X-men Supreme website. Don't worry, it's the good kind of pics. Specifically, they're sexy pics for the Jean Grey section. For anyone who despised the movies or what happened to her in the comics, this should ease the pain. Nuff said.

X-men First Class May Have Their Director

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X-men Movie News (Sort Of)

In 2006 when X3: The Last Stand came out, a case study in how NOT to end a trilogy was born. Some call it the Godfather 3 syndrome. When a trilogy starts, the first two are usually good with the second one being a big improvement. Then the third movie comes out and it flat out sucks in a way that makes fans of the first two want to go back in time, strangle themselves, and make sure they stay in a coma for the duration of the movie's existence.

The X-men franchise didn't follow this trend exactly. The first X-men movie was revolutionary for it's time, but not well-praised by critics and fans. It wasn't terrible though. It did tell an interesting story and it did set a new tone for superhero movies. Then X2: X-men United came along and the bar was raised. This is one of the few times when both critics and fans were on the same page. This was a movie that finished where the first one fell short. It told a compelling story while doing justice to the characters and giving some much needed depth both emotionally and plot-wise. In a sense this may have been a bad thing because it made expectations for X3 so high. Then someone dropped a bomb.

Bryan Singer, the director who brought the X-men movies to life, left the project to do Superman. Who got the job instead? A guy named Brett Ratner, whose very name now evokes a nauseous feeling that induces more suicidal thoughts than the come-down from a hit of ecstasy. This guy was the anti-Singer. He had about as much subtlety as a kick in the balls. Where Singer provided both plot depth and character depth, Ratner was all about the shock-and-awe. It was all about big wars, big fights, and big moments like the death of some beloved characters and a script tailor made to satisfy Halle Berry and Hugh Jackman's publicist. This would have been fine if the characters were actually shown the least bit of respect and if the plot was remotely engaging.

X3 was a travesty. You don't kill off Charles Xavier, Cyclops, and Jean Grey while thoroughly disrespecting the Phoenix Saga (also known as the best X-men story EVER) and make fans happy. Maybe this was an alien concept to Ratner, but people don't like seeing characters they love being casually killed off. What made the death of Jean Grey so powerful in X2 was that it was built up and given an emotionally powerful story that was in many ways tied to her first death in the comics. I don't know what comics Ratner was reading, but he must have got them from the ass of some schizophrenic hobo hanging outside a comic shop in Tijuana. That's the only possible explanation that could make any sense of his bullshit.

Since X3 ended, nobody seems interested in making a sequel (who can blame them?), but that didn't stop Fox from making a Wolverine movie. While nowhere near the travesty that was X3, it certainly didn't wow fans back onto the movie bandwagon. Many simply cannot forgive the stupidity that is "Barakapool." Never-the-less, it still made money and that's all Fox needs to keep making these movies.

So when X-men First Class was announced, fans returned to the world of hope. When Laura Donner, the producer of the X-men films, announced it as an origins story that told of Magneto and Xavier's original split, the appeal was self-evident. Fans were even more giddy when they heard Bryan Singer was coming back to direct. It seemed if anyone can recapture the magic, it would be him. Turns out, however, that excitement was premature.

Fused Film: Bryan Singer will only Produce X-men First Class

That's right. Singer, already contracted to do "Jack the Giant Killer," won't be returning to X-men in the same capacity. He'll only be producing, leaving yet another director gap. Since Brett Ratner was tarred and feathered and banished from the X-men Universe, someone new will have to take his place. Will they make the same mistake Ratner did or will Singer's involvement be enough? Only time will tell, but there is one aspect fans are not going to forget.

If this is a prequel then it really doesn't matter what the hell the movie does because everybody will know how it ends. Any character development with Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Xavier will be completely moot because they're just going to die in X3 anyways. So who cares? That makes fans of the franchise a little iffy about enjoying it. Perhaps it would be best if X-men did the same thing Spider-Man has done and reboot the whole franchise. It would give the studios a clean slate to work with. Of course, that may make too much sense. X3 has permanently tainted the current movie series and if Marvel and Fox want any hope of capturing the same excitement they did with X2, then they need to get back to basics. Spider-Man is doing it. Superman is doing it. Why can't the X-men do it?