X-men Supreme Reflections: Wanda Maximoff PREVIEW!

When I began the X-men Supreme fanfiction series, I knew I would be taking certain characters and making them very different from their comic book counterparts. In order to tell the story I want to tell with X-men Supreme, I had to sigificantly change the background and circumstances of these characters in order for them to fit into the narrative. This was especially difficult for the Scarlet Witch. She was a character who, until recently, had lost a great deal of cedibility as a hero. In Marvel's main universe, she went crazy and nearly wiped out the entire mutant race during the events of House of M. It is a crime that still haunts the Scarlet Witch to this day in the comic and one that has come to define her character. But in the X-men Supreme, she has no such burden. She also doesn't have her legacy as an Avenger in her background. So within the context of this fanfiction series, she is very much tied to the struggle of the X-men and Brotherhood of Mutants.

This has created a Wanda Maximoff that is quite different from the character that emerged in the comics. But like every character I've brought into X-men Supreme, I wanted to make sure I maintained her core persona. Unlike Quicksilver and Magneto, the Scarlet Witch is not blind with hatred. She takes a more balanced approach to the human/mutant conflict. She does not agree with Professor Charles Xavier. She does not think that peaceful coexistence between humans and mutants is possible. She is not afraid to defend her fellow mutants from aggression and she will fight with her father to accomplish this goal. But unlike her father, the Scarlet Witch does not seek to wipe out humanity or rule over them. She just wants mutants to prosper on their own without having to live under the constent threat of violence. In many ways, this makes her the balanced character in the human/mutant conflict.

But what drove the Scarlet Witch to become this unique view that exists somewhere within the divide between Charles Xavier and Magneto? What is it that makes her the kind of person that will stand by her father, but also step up to act as a ruler and a leader when she is needed? Her story is one of my proudest accomplishments in X-men Supreme. Given the recent events of the comics, I believe the strength of Wanda Maximoff's character are best displayed when she has to act as the balance between Charles Xavier and Magneto. She has so much to deal with, yet she still finds the strength to keep fighting, even after the events of the Cambrian Explosion. Because of the many recent upheavals in her life in both the comics and in this fanfiction series, I couldn't think of a better character to round out the final entry of X-men Supreme Reflections Volume 4. Once again, I've prepared an extended preview to offer a brief insight into the world of Wanda Maximoff.

After years of acquiring resources, father’s plans were finally coming together. We had our core of mutants with which to launch our uprising. For years Magneto talked about establishing a battlefront with which to begin the war against humanity. It had to start somewhere. They had to have a place where the mutants of the world could gather and stand as one against their oppressors. That’s how all great revolutions began and for this act, he chose Genosha.

I couldn’t think of a better location. This cursed island has been the scene of many wars and uprisings. For most of the century it was run by brutal dictators and Cameron Hodge was no exception. What set him apart from the others was that he used mutants as the scapegoat to rally his supporters. To my father he was the equivalent of another Hitler, looking to inflict a second holocaust on our kind. We weren’t about to let that happen. We were ready to oppose him. However, the revolution he hoped to launch did not have the outcome he or anyone for that matter expected.

Once again, the X-men intervened. Their participation changed everything. They stopped Magneto from inciting the war. They stopped what could have been an outright slaughter between our forces and Genosha’s. On top of it all, Pietro had been wounded in the crossfire and in that instant those slivers of doubt became full fledged cracks. Then after I found out that Cameron Hodge was just using our cause to further his own, which had nothing to do with mutants, that revealed to me an uncomfortable truth.

This wasn’t working. Father’s plan was not going to help our cause. He was wrong. We weren’t going to help our brethren by starting a war that was founded in lies. I was left to make the ultimate decision. I had the power to stop the fighting before it got out of hand. So I made the decision that put me in the position I’m in now. I listened to the X-men. I made my own plan for my father’s cause. I’m not sure if it was entirely right, but I know it wasn’t entirely wrong.

We all paid a high price. We all had to realize that Hodge used us and we were doing nothing more than serving the interests of the anti-mutant bigots who were just looking for more reasons to hate us. We had to be better. We had to be stronger. That’s why I was so enamored by the idea of turning Genosha into a mutant haven. It seemed more fitting. Instead of making it the front lines for a war, why not make it a homeland for mutant kind? I thought on some levels this is what my father wanted. I was willing to sacrifice and make compromises to accomplish it.

Part of the price I had to pay was watching my father get hauled off to Guantanamo Bay for his supposed war crimes. Charles Xavier promised to make sure he was taken care of. I decided to trust him because he did help save Pietro and he did prevent the militaries of the world from outright killing my father. He even exposed Hodge’s plot and helped give our new nation on Genosha some legitimacy. I still didn’t like the man, but I was willing to work with him if he could help me do what was best for our kind. Perhaps I put too much faith in him as well because like my father, he couldn’t completely deliver.

Xavier only ended up setting the stage for father’s next plan, which not surprisingly he didn’t share with me. This one turned out to be even more questionable than the uprising. The idea of using an asteroid to threaten humanity with mass extinction seems excessive even within circumstances we had to deal with. I honestly didn’t think Magneto was going to let that rock hit. Then I saw him lose his mind to the power of that machine. It was not a pleasant sight. It showed that for all my father’s vision, he still had a certain element of madness that made him no better than a tyrant.

That was the worst realization of them all. It affirmed what I had started to fear since the uprising. My father’s blind hatred was turning him into the very monster he was fighting against. It was no longer about following a vision for our kind. It was about vengeance. He was just going to do to the humans what they had been doing to each other for centuries. Yet somehow that was supposed to make mutants more superior? I could no longer blindly accept that. The mere fact he was willing to wipe out the entire human race with that asteroid is proof that this was no longer about humans and mutants. It was about hatred, plain and simple.

In this sense I’m glad the X-men stopped him. He needed to be stopped for once. My father was walking a very dark path and something or someone needed to pull him back. Between the X-men and the presence of my half-sister, Lorna, we managed to keep him from such madness. This time I didn’t do anything. I just watched as he was humbled in wake of his own madness. Lorna managed to do what I couldn’t. She reached him. I was relieved, yet still somewhat disappointed in myself because I had done nothing. My only chance was to try and make up for it as we forged a new path on Genosha, hoping that my father had learned his lesson. Now I know that I was probably hoping for too much.

Wanda turned back and faced the throne. In her mind she could still see her father sitting there, gazing off into space with that stoic look in his eye that always had a touch of resentment. His hatred for humanity wasn’t something he could forget. It was practically part of who he was. Even with Lorna in hid midst to reach that small sliver of humanity he still had in his heart, this hatred was never going to fade. Yet because this man was her father, she still trusted him in a way she shouldn’t have. That wasn’t just his fault. She bore a much larger share of that blame.

For a while we had an opportunity to really take the mutant cause to another level. Thanks to the treaties we worked out with international authorities, we were our own sovereign state. We could have been the cornerstone for a new era of mutant prosperity. If only Magneto had taken advantage of these circumstances. But no…he had to look for another killing blow to the human race.

This time he would find it in an alien ship. I admit that possibility did not cross my mind at all when it came to using Genosha as a proving ground for mutants. I was aware of the island’s mysterious history. When I found out that an alien ship played a part, I thought it was another one of Pietro’s sick jokes. Then I saw the ship for myself and I got this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

In a ways it made sense of a lot of things. It showed how men like Cameron Hodge could get the technology and know-how to create the sentinels. It also opened the door to some disturbing possibilities. What could my father do with that kind of technology? He was a very smart man who was very tech savvy for a man his age. I naively hoped that he would use it to make Genosha a more powerful country. Instead, he used it to fall back into old habits.

His first stunt was something I actually went along with. He used some of the knowledge from that craft to make a machine that was going to turn Senator Kelly into a mutant. I thought this was a good plan because for one, it didn’t involve killing anybody or starting a war. And secondly, it would give a man who has said some very nasty things about our kind a taste of empathy. It didn’t exactly turn out as we planned, but it did turn Senator Kelly’s son into a mutant and that did seem to make a difference. Senator Kelly is now president of the United States and he hasn’t implemented those draconian anti-mutant laws he used to champion. I thought that this would be the end of my father’s alien obsession, but the Kelly plot was just a test run for something much bigger.

As usual, I was complacent. I busied myself by my part to keep the peace on Genosha with the Brotherhood. All the while, Magneto was studying and scheming. He claimed he was doing research on improving the condition for all mutants. He wouldn’t go into details and I didn’t expect him to. I thought if he did something extreme like the asteroid incident, I would be ready to act and so would Lorna. Nobody, not even Magneto himself, could have predicted how wrong it would go.

The Cambrian essentially shattered whatever credibility my father had left in my eyes. Now he was the fool. In a ways he was a victim because he didn’t understand what he was dealing with. I don’t doubt that he believed this creature would benefit mutants, but to what end? It wasn’t just about furthering evolution. It was about power and making sure he had more than the rest of the human race. Why else would he be so reckless in pursuing this thing?

He paid a price for his greed. We all paid a price. By unleashing the Cambrian, my father destroyed all the progress we made on Genosha. He turned the world against us. It wasn’t the Cambrian that was the greatest monster. It was my father and the way this creature affected him. Lorna and Pietro believe that it was the creature, not the man that was behind that madness. I see it another way. I believe the Cambrian tapped into that hatred he still harbors for this world he can’t resist destroying.

Since this will be the last entry of X-men Supreme Reflections Volume 4, I want to treat it as teaser of sorts for the conflicts to come in X-men Supreme Volume 5. As I've stated before, it is possible that X-men Supreme Volume 5 will be the last entry in this fanfiction series. Support and feedback for recent issues of X-men Supreme have been flat or non-existant. I would like to change that and I hope that by putting a new spin on characters like Wanda Maximoff, I can appeal to X-men fans seeking a change of pace from the current crop of Marvel comics. And to make that spin as awesome as possible, it's very important that readers provide feedback. I'm always happy to hear it and discuss it. Please send it to me directly by contacting me or post it in the comments section of each individual issue. I make a concerted effort to respond to every email I get. Until next time, take care and best wishes. Excelsior!

Jack

All New X-men #28 Preview - Obsession Feeds Douche-Bags

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Scanned Thoughts: Amazing X-men #8

There are some things in this world that are inherently frustrating. Waiting in line at the DMV, being pulled over by a traffic cop, and getting technical support from Verizon quickly come to mind. It’s our innate understanding that this shit is frustrating that helps us get through it. Trying to avoid that is like shoveling sand against the tide or trying to make a horse’s ass into an air freshener. It cannot be done. In the Marvel Universe, I imagine that dealing with Wolverine’s “Fuck it, I’m going to lone wolf this” attitude is equivalent of dealing with 10 visits to the DMV. Yet that’s exactly what Storm and the rest of the Jean Grey Institute have to deal with. They all must have the patience of a saint, minus the stamp of approval from the Vatican. But usually when Wolverine does lone wolf it, he has a damn good reason for doing so. In Amazing X-men #8, that makes things more frustrating for the Jean Grey Institute and more awesome for us.

Now in order to Wolverine to carry out his lone wolf act, he needs a reason. Granted, it usually doesn’t take much. It can be something as simple as a Sentinel attacking a whiskey distillery or a pretty redhead in trouble. It’s like me needing a reason to drink. It doesn’t take much. But somehow, that reason involves a rather disturbing flashback to a meat packing factory. It’s not terribly original. Two men get in an argument over anything from a football game to the last episode of Game of Thrones, one accidentally kills the other, and the killer stuffs the body into a meat grinder. Don’t know if this is supposed to be one of PETA’s subliminal messages. If they’re trying to get me to stop eating Canadian bacon, they’re failing miserably. It’s really not clear what’s going on here, but I’m going to assume it’s connected because it made me hungry for bacon.

The meat packing mishap might end up being the reason Wolverine is lone wolfing this, but there’s already a much more immediate reason. And surprise, it involves a pretty redhead. But for once, this doesn’t involve Jean Grey or some shitty rip-off character that looks like her. It actually involves someone from Wolverine’s past who actually doesn’t want to kill him, Vindicator. She’s the pretty face of Alpha Flight and Department H. The fact that she has red hair is just a bonus for Wolverine and his penis. That’s more than enough reason for Wolverine to put down the whiskey, stop banging Storm, and come to her aid.

Unfortunately for his penis, Vindicator isn’t looking to just cock-tease him…not directly, I assume. She called him because her husband, Guardian, has gone missing for two days. And who better to help her find him than a guy who probably wants to bone her? And no, I didn’t write that with a straight face. Not saying it makes sense, but Wolverine’s rocky history with Department H adds some tension to the situation that doesn’t involve wet panties. It’s something we haven’t seen from Wolverine in quite a while. Since he’s going to be dead in a few months, why not revisit it?

Unlike nearly every X-men movie ever made, Wolverine isn’t the sole focus of the conflict here. Back at the Jean Grey Institute, Storm is looking for him. Apparently, Wolverine doesn’t know that it’s impolite to go lone-wolfing without telling the woman who currently lets him touch her boobs. While she’s looking for answers, the Jean Grey Institute gets an unexpected visitor and for once it’s not a time traveler or a killer robot. It’s Colossus. He happily greets Nightcrawler, who he thought was dead. It leads to a hilarious discussion about how often characters die and come back in the X-men, one that I’m surprised doesn’t happen more often. That doesn’t make it any less a great moment.

As nice as this moment is, it’s also a bit random. Colossus, who spent most of his time recently banging Domino during Cable and X-Force, has been MIA for a while. Now he just shows up at the steps of the Jean Grey Institute all happy and well-adjusted? Never mind that he was a member of the Phoenix Five and pretty much every former member of the Phoenix Five who isn’t king of an underwater kingdom is a wanted criminal. He just shows up and it’s like he never left. Not saying that’s an egregious oversight, but it’s one of those details that needs a little refinement.

Neither Colossus nor Nightcrawler are the primary focus here anyways. The main message here is that Storm is pissed that Wolverine has run off again. Her primary goal is to find out where he is, shove a tornado up his ass, and force him to pleasure her for no less than three consecutive days at a spa in Monte Carlo as payment. She doesn’t get her answer until she finds Iceman, who reveals he went to Canada. This only pisses off Storm even more because she rightly points out that Wolverine never goes to Canada without something going horribly wrong. Iceman still has a sense of humor about it, claiming that Wolverine threatened to do horrible, unspeakable things if he told anyone. Coming from a guy that murdered his own son, I can forgive Iceman for not telling Storm. Doesn’t mean Wolverine shouldn’t book those tickets to Monte Carlo either.

But first, Wolverine still has a pretty redhead to help and pretty redheads have priority with him. They arrive in a Forrest, Canada, a town that has basically been turned into a set for the Walking Dead. It’s night and everyone in the town has mysteriously vanished. That means they’ve either been turned to zombies, have been eaten by zombies, or are in the process of being devoured by said zombies. And yes, I have been binge watching The Walking Dead on Netflix. I’m kind of in a zombie mood today.

Since zombies have never been enough to dissuade Wolverine, he uses his nose to track Guardian. This is another area where things get a bit disorganized. It goes from the present to the past a little too quickly, but so quickly that it’s necessary to sober up. It helps avoid scenes that just have Wolverine sniffing around like a dog in a bacon factory. So there is a valid reason for the setup. It just isn’t as organized as it could be.

Organized or not, it doesn’t take long for Wolverine’s nose to lead them to the right place. They end up in a random building where they find scattered remains, most likely the kind of shit that zombies or zombie-like creatures don’t digest. Then by following the scents, Wolverine is able to surmise that Guardian wasn’t attacked, eaten, and shat out by zombies. He was attacked by a fucking Wendigo, which is basically a werewolf mixed with a vampire. I’ll give Twilight fans a moment to stop squealing. It’s a creature Wolverine has actually battled before in his more classic adventures. Now he’s facing it again while helping a pretty redhead. If nothing else, this is only going to make me miss Wolverine even more when Marvel kills him off.

Needless to say, Vindicator is deeply concerned for Gladiator. She immediately follows Wolverine’s instructions to fly away and get Alpha Flight for backup while he calls the X-men. The first one she calls is Puck, who happens to be busy banging a beautiful woman named Talisman. Naturally, he has her leave a message. There are just some things a man cannot interrupt. He’s understandably reluctant at first, but Talisman encourages him to call back because she’s naked and men listen to naked women.

Puck probably isn’t going to call her back fast enough, especially with a naked woman present. As Vindicator is flying and trying to get away, she’s attacked by one of the Wendigos. Apparently, she has never seen a horror movie. The pretty girl is always the first target. At least Vindicator wasn’t attacked while she was taking a shower or skinny dipping in the lake. This is yet more proof that superheroes don’t watch enough slasher movies. They’re the closest thing they’ve got to strategy guides.

While Wolverine is trying to catch up with Vindicator, a much greater threat has picked up on his presence. Storm enlisted Rachel Grey’s help back at the Jean Grey Institute to find him. Being the least busy Grey, she manages to succeed just in time to find out he’s in big fucking trouble and not because his girlfriend is mad at him. That’s reason enough for Storm to gather the X-men and take a quick field trip to Canada. Once again, she has proven that Wolverine is incapable of visiting Canada without kicking up a shit storm. He just can’t be like normal people who visit Canada for the whiskey, the snow, and cheap boner pills.

Like Puck and the rest of Alpha Flight, Storm and the X-men aren’t going to get there fast enough. Wolverine eventually does catch up with Vindicator. But instead of getting the Jason Vorhees treatment, she gets turned into yet another Wendigo. And it turns out there have been more than a few people who have been on the business end of the Wendigo’s wrath. Now normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal for Wolverine. Fighting through an army of blood-thirsty monsters is probably his idea of a fun Thursday night. But now that he’s without his healing factor, it’s not as much fun. This should make him think twice about lone-wolfing a trip to Canada, but it probably still won’t work. Might as well enjoy his fuck-up one last time before his coming death.

Once again, Wolverine has taken a trip to Canada and it has turned into a total clusterfuck involving monsters and pretty redheads. Why can’t Wolverine just ever be content going to Canada for the imported whiskey and bacon? This issue is alike a case study in the frustrations the rest of the X-men have to deal with when Wolverine decides to lone wolf it. Storm, who has the added bonus of sleeping with the guy, is probably extra frustrated. But that only helps reinforce the theme of this story because in the end, Storm was vindicated. Wolverine cannot go to Canada without getting himself killed. Now the rest of the X-men have to get involved and so does Alpha Flight. Let me say that again. The X-men and Alpha Flight are set to team up. I couldn’t properly describe the extent of this potential awesome without referring to Jessica Alba’s ass. It was a nice setup, but still a little disorganized at times. However, it wasn’t so disorganized that it’s necessary to read this book sober. I give Amazing X-men #8 an 8 out of 10. It has plenty of drama and great character moments. It also has a great touch of humor, something that mixes nicely with big scary mythical monsters. It’s like bacon dipped in bourbon. It’s not the most common combination, but it’s still awesome. Nuff said!

Scanned Thoughts: Cyclops #2

I usually don’t like surprises that don’t involve a free lap dance, free beer, or a nipple slip from Jessica Alba. Not saying I hate them. I’m just saying that cocaine is a hell of a drug. Few surprises that don’t involve free beer are usually that pleasant. That’s part of what made Cyclops #1 such an awesome book. I had no idea what to expect when I read the first issue and not just because I sustained a concussion the previous night in an argument that involved Star Trek and pizza toppings…I think. This was one of those comics where it could have been really awesome or really shitty. More often than not, the outcome usually requires an air freshener at the very least. Not Cyclops #1. This new series succeeded in making O5 Cyclops more awesome and less brooding than his adult counterpart. It actually told a story about a teenage boy hanging out and having an awesome time with his father. Seriously, when was the last time we ever got a story about a teenage boy and his father that didn’t turn into a Dearth Vadar situation? Now we have a series that gives O5 Cyclops a chance to learn how to be awesome from his father and Corsair has a chance to be awesome in a way that doesn’t involve banging a hot alien cat woman. Everybody wins. That said, Cyclops #2 isn’t in a position to pleasantly surprise me the way the first one did. The bar is now higher and it’s hard to imagine how it will be matched without more hot alien cat women.

Minus hot alien cat women, an space road trip that involves seeing an alien form of the Grand Canyon, flying through space and collecting glowing alien bowling balls, and watching an alien form of cockfighting in an alien stadium is the next best thing. And just as he promised, Corsair takes his son to all these places and helps him enjoy the wonders of the galaxy. He even lets him land an alien ship. Seriously, what kind of father lets their teenage son pilot an alien ship? The awesome kind, that’s what.

It’s a great montage of father/son moments, complemented by some nice inner monologue from Cyclops. There are some references to Hamlet, but it all boils down to one simple realization. The universe is fucking amazing and his dad is fucking awesome. It would only be more awesome if his father weren’t keeping a secret from him. As was hinted at in the previous issue, Corsair isn’t exactly in peak condition, despite having a hot alien cat woman for a girlfriend. He has been taking these fancy drugs, which I’m sure the DEA would make illegal in a heartbeat, to keep himself alive. Seeing as how he was supposed to be dead up until the Trial of Jean Grey, this reveals that it’s still an ongoing issue. And it’s an issue that is bound to bite him in the ass at some point.

That doesn’t mean he’ll let it keep him from showing his son a good time during their little space road trip. Their next destination involves some place called Yrzt, which sounds like the sound a guy makes when someone shocks his balls with a taser. Not saying I’m speaking from personal experience. I’m just saying I’ve been in a Dutch brothel. Corsair describes this planet as the Las Vegas of the galaxy, which means it’s the kind of place where a pirate can drink, gamble, and bang alien prostitutes to his heart’s content. Again, what kind of father takes his teenage son to a place like that? The awesome kind, that’s what. While O5 Cyclops doesn’t get to see strippers with bad boob jobs and live shows involving Elvis impersonators, he does get to see naked aliens. Being a teenage boy, I’m sure he’ll still find that sexy.

Corsair then leads him into an alien bar. Admittedly, awesome parents don’t always follow the law, especially bullshit laws about drinking ages. But it happens to be closed and Corsair isn’t interested in getting his teenage son drunk off alien booze. Even an awesome dad isn’t that irresponsible. Instead, he’s there to visit an old associate, Baroque. He’s basically a cross between a sumo wrestler and a squid. There’s some hostility at first, but I guess that counts as a term of endearment among pirates and deviants. There’s even a nice little jab at Corsair having been dead recently, something that could have easily been glossed over, but has been a developing story since The Trial of Jean Grey. It’s a nice moment among deviants, hoping to discuss raiding, plundering, and alien boobs. There’s even a reference to strippers. What kind of father has experience with strippers? If I have to answer that again, then I’ll never get the point across.

It would have been nice if they were just there to talk about all the ways he bangs hot alien cat women with Baroque. He was getting a fresh batch of the drug that appears to be keeping him alive. The fact that he has to go to the black market and cash in favors from old friends shows that not only is he desperate, but health care in space sucks just as bad.

While Corsair and Baroque have their Breaking Bad moment, Baroque summons Vass. She’s another cute alien girl with green hair, blue skin, and red eyes and she’s supposed to keep O5 Cyclops occupied while the grown-ups talk. It doesn’t sound sexy, but for a teenage boy, it’s still sexy enough. Their parts might not even fit, but that’s not a deal breaker for most teenagers. If couch cushions could talk, they would verify my position. She’s supposed to show him the Senex. It sounds like an alien peep show, but Corsair deems it appropriate enough for his teenage son and that’s good enough.

It’s probably an uncomfortably awesome moment for O5 Cyclops, finally meeting a hot alien girl that’s more his age, assuming of course Vass is as old as she looks. I’m sure that’s just as common a problem in Yrzt as it is in Las Vegas. But they don’t end up doing anything that will inspire another shitty Species movie. They just have some simple innocent fun. Yes, teenagers are capable of doing that. Fox News just doesn’t bitch about it as often.

O5 Cyclops still doesn’t know about his father’s condition. How can he when a cute alien girl invites him into what looks like an alien diner. She even manages to get him a milkshake. O5 Cyclops is understandably skeptical at first, knowing that aliens couldn’t possibly have access to fresh milk and chocolate. For all he knows, this milkshake was made with alien semen and fungus. But since a cute alien girl is encouraging him, he does it. And remarkably, it tastes like a real chocolate milkshake. It makes for another awkward moment, which is to be expected with teenage boys and girls. It’s so cute that it’s bound to be ruined by something. But instead of parents or high school administrators, this one is ruined by Skrulls. I still say that high school administrators are worse.

It turns into a bar fight, minus the alcohol and vomit. O5 Cyclops may be on a road trip in space with his father, but trouble still finds him somehow. I imagine every teenager feels like that, but this time it’s more than just teen angst. Like a good aspiring Summers, he kicks some Skrull ass and protects the pretty alien girl. That’s enough to make any father proud. However, there’s a catch. This whole scenario was even more innocent than it seemed.

Turns out, the Senex isn’t quite as dirty as my perverse imagination led me to believe. It was just a glorified Danger Room where O5 Cyclops could enjoy the company of a hot alien women in a more comfortable setting. Okay, that sounded dirtier than it needed to be, but again there’s nothing about it that could be turned into freaky alien porn. It’s a little awkward, but given O5 Cyclops’s experience in the Danger Room, it doesn’t shock him as much as it would most teenage boys. It allows him and Vass to part ways on a positive note. If he’s lucky, Vass will think of him the next time she’s in the shower or whatever her species does for private time.

After they leave, Corsair and O5 Cyclops continue their little romp around Yrzt. While Corsair gets O5 Cyclops to try more alien food, he gives him a brief lesson in dealing with Skrulls. It’s not an unreasonable lesson to teach. He points out that his older self has dealt with them in the past and there are very few heroes in the future who haven’t had to deal with their shape-shifting douche-baggery. And since they are in space, there’s always a chance they could run into one of them disguised as an alien hooker. It’s even worse than ending up with a hooker that just likes to tie men up, steal their clothes, and pawn their cell phone. Maybe this is Corsair’s way of telling his son to avoid alien hookers. It’s way more effective than the sex ed I got in high school.

It would probably make for another uncomfortable father/son conversation so maybe O5 Cyclops should be relieved on some levels when they’re attacked by a bunch of alien bounty hunters. Being in the Las Vegas of space, it’s expected to have plenty of other deviants running around. Some of them have probably developed a hefty gambling debt and picking up a wanted pirate would help them get back to the tables. It makes for another battle, but this time it’s not simulated and there are no milkshakes. And unlike Corsair’s last battle, he doesn’t fare as well this time. To be fair, he’s not in peak physical condition. But it’s a nice reminder that he’s still a pirate.

Corsair might not be at the top of his game, but O5 Cyclops more than compensates. This time, he’s the one who gets to kick ass and he gets to do it outside of a simulation. In addition, it gives O5 Cyclops a chance to wield that Badoon sword he took in the previous issue. Why does Cyclops need a sword? Why the fuck not would be a better question? He puts both it and his optic blasts to good use, taking down the bounty hunters with a swagger that would probably soak the panties of every telepathic woman in a 1,000 light year radius. He might still be a teenager who is still awkward as fuck around girls, but he can still kick plenty of ass. I’m sure Corsair had to wipe away tears of joy after this.

O5 Cyclops, still oblivious to his father’s condition, leads him back to the ship and takes off. As far as he’s concerned, this was nothing more than that part of a road trip where they eat at the wrong diner, piss of the wrong people, and have to beat up a few douche-bags to get back on the road. But he got to meet a cute alien girl so I think that counts as a win-win. However, during the battle, Corsair lost the medication he had been using to keep himself alive. If that weren’t bad enough, another alien bounty hunter who is badly in need of a trip to the dentist has started tracking them. I guess that point on the road trip where everything starts going to hell is just around the corner.

The previous issue was a nice reminder of why Corsair embodies the awesome that makes Summers men so noble and so irresistible to beautiful women, especially telepaths and alien cat women. In one issue, he showed O5 Cyclops how to be a badass space pirate and make women horny at the same time. It’s a vital lesson for any teenager. But in this issue, it’s O5 Cyclops who got to step up and remind readers why he grows up to be the guy that bangs Emma Frost and Jean Grey. His father gets into trouble, but he’s able to save him. It’s another wonderful father/son moment in a series that has already had more than the last seven seasons of the Simpsons. It really shouldn’t be such a novel concept, telling stories about a teenage boy learning to be a better man from his father. Yet in an era where Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin are seen as the most competent father figures, that’s exactly what this comic conveys. Now that father/son relationship promises to face some significant new challenges and it doesn’t just involve wading through a sea of panties. There’s so much to enjoy in the present and so much to look forward to with this series. That’s why I give Cyclops #2 a 9 out of 10. I honestly didn’t expect this series to be this good, but like finding a bag of weed in my couch cushion, I welcome the awesome it brings. Nuff said!

Evil Defeats Evil: Forever Evil #7

The following is my review of Forever Evil #7, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Kids are often told that working hard and doing the right thing will get them ahead in life. By the time they're teenagers, they suspect this was a big lie. By the time they become adults, they know for certain that it's a lie and they're often pretty bitter about it. Anyone who isn't in the top income bracket eventually learns that getting ahead rarely involves working the hardest or being the strongest. It involves working smarter, having resources, and utilizing ruthless cunning to get things done. It's practically a commandment for every lobbyist, politician, and business mogul. Even Steve Jobs understood that being too nice meant being left behind, but Steve Jobs was no Lex Luthor. And Lex Luthor's ambitions are much greater than inventing a better way to listen to music.

Working smart, exploiting resources, and ruthless cunning are not defining traits of a hero. They can be, but most heroes aren't ruthless enough. Batman won't kill. Superman has strict morals. Wonder Woman follows a strict warrior code. There's no question that they're smart, but they will never be as ruthless as Lex Luthor. And in Forever Evil #7, that ruthlessness is the key to defeating the Crime Syndicate. Despite being delayed to the point where the ending was spoiled in books that came out a week earlier, it still sends the same powerful message.

The Crime Syndicate being defeated is only a secondary theme to this story. Nobody is going to be shocked that this sadistic incarnation of the Justice League didn't win the day. However, they aren't defeated by the heroic efforts of the Justice League and their allies. That would make too much sense and feed directly into that lie about working hard and doing the right thing that only kids believe. It's Lex Luthor who defeats the Crime Syndicate. This man, who embodies many of the worst qualities in man, is able to defeat a team that is immensely powerful and exceedingly ruthless. On the surface, his genius doesn't seem like an advantage. But when Lex Luthor adds it to his own ruthless cunning, it might as well be a cheat codes in a video game.

It's a striking case of fighting fire with fire, evil with evil, and ego with ego. Unlike Superman, Lex Luthor doesn't fight for truth, justice, and the American way. He fights for deceit, selfishness, and getting his way. These don't seem like the kind of qualities that would directly motivate him into stopping the Crime Syndicate and saving the world. But over the course of Forever Evil, these anti-Superman qualities provide a kind of indirect motivation that helps make him the most formidable foe in the DC Universe.

The Crime Syndicate made it so that in order for Lex Luthor to get what he wanted, he had to be the hero. He also had to convince other villains who share his very unheroic values to help him and he succeeded. And a big part of that success was playing into the egos of his fellow villains. He understood that letting the Crime Syndicate win would be like Donald Trump letting a competitor drive a nicer car than him. The thought alone disgusts them so much that they're willing to be heroes so that they can protect their precious ego.

This is what gives Forever Evil its devious theme. The heroes couldn't save the world from the Crime Syndicate. It took the ruthless cunning of someone like Lex Luthor to defeat them. It's a narrative that has unfolded before. A villain will play the part of a hero, but only so they can keep being villains. They'll do it begrudgingly, but immediately go back to their sinister ways as soon as the dust settles. That isn't the case with Forever Evil. Lex Luthor is willing to go even further, even if his fellow villains are not. He sees in the aftermath of defeating the Crime Syndicate how he can serve his own selfish ends by continuing to play hero. He's like a ruthless CEO or Walls Street banker who creates charities not because they believe in the cause, but because appearing charitable increases their influence and bumps up their stock price.

As the title itself suggests, Lex Luthor will never be a hero. In the aftermath of the Crime Syndicate's defeat, he may carry himself as such. He may even genuinely desire being labeled a hero, but he doesn't do it because it's the right thing to do. He does it because it serves his own selfish interests. He takes Ayan Rand's philosophy to the extreme and by being good, he can be more evil than ever. He by no means fits the criteria for an anti-hero. Even anti-heroes have a certain code of conduct that keeps them tied to their humanity. Lex Luthor gladly casts that aside like an old pair of socks because trivial things like codes and humanity only hold him back.

So much of Forever Evil #7 is dominated by Lex Luthor serving his ego that a number of smaller details get glossed over. He goes from defeating the Crime Syndicate to being the world's greatest hero in the eyes of the public. The rest of the Justice League, now free, don't really get a chance to react or even confront Luthor. The only one who really acknowledges what he did is Batman, but he did so in the least begrudging way possible. There were plenty of loose ends, but some were left unresolved on purpose, if only to make way for the next story. But by lacking some of the smaller details, the conclusion of Forever Evil feels incomplete.

Even without these details, the core of the story is strong. From the beginning, Lex Luthor set out to further his agenda by whatever means possible. In Forever Evil #7, he succeeded. The way in which he achieved this success and the way he exploited it to the utmost is what gives the story its strength. Nobody is going to be rooting for Lex Luthor or think he's a genuine hero. Yet in the same way hippies will begrudgingly shop at Wal-Mart, readers cannot deny what Lex Luthor has achieved. It's a disturbing thought, yet it affords plenty of intrigue for everyone not named Clark Kent.

Final Score: 7 out of 10