Civil War II: X-men #1: Nuff Said!

Let's not beat around the bush or get all JFK here. The X-men are fucked. There's no conspiracy about it. They really are more fucked than a two-dollar whore. Thanks to the movie rights and the shit head lawyers who enforce them, it's safe to assume that the X-men will always be fucked, no matter what the circumstances. That extends to Civil War II. How could it not? It centers around a fucking Inhuman. So yes, the X-men will be fucked in every hole and possibly a few new holes. However, that doesn't mean Civil War II: X-men #1 can't be awesome. It just means that it can only be awesome in the context of the X-men being fucked.

Within this context, there are those content to sit on the fences and wait for the shit storm to pass. It's a dick move, but it's also uncomfortably smart. It's also a good survival skill for those not used to fighting killer robots. A bunch of rich mutant douche-bags in Dubai understand this so they've sealed themselves off in a building, stocked up on overpriced wine and caviar, and are prepared to wait it out while the X-men wade through the shit. Yes, they're douche-bags, but they're smart douche-bags. Like shitty CEOs who still manage to get paid after being fired, they can laugh all the way to the bank and whatever private island they happen to own.

I'm guessing Magneto and his team of renegade X-men are Bernie supporters because they decide to barge right in on this douche-bag party, carrying a bunch of poor mutants who don't own yachts along the way. The rich asshole mutants are understandably concerned that these poor mutants might track dirt on their oriental rugs and eat all their caviar, but unlike Bernie, Magneto is a bit more convincing with his arguments. There's no Hillary Clinton to protect them this time.

As these rich mutants are trembling in their Italian shoes, they find out that their dick move of a plan to wait out the shit storm has a huge fucking flaw. It turns out the servants they have serving their food, pouring their wine, and cleaning their toilets are sentinels in disguise. Honestly, I'm a little conflicted here. Killer robots or rich douche-bags? Which is worse? I am not sober enough to figure that out.

Just like that, the rich mutant assholes are glad that Magneto and his team came barging in on their little bunker. He and his X-men fight these sentinels in a brief, but intense battle. They're more than equipped to handle a few sentinels and they didn't need a bunch of rich assholes to pay them. Bet none of their butlers would ever give them that.

The problem is this battle is taking place within a confined area, just as a cloud of Inhuman farts descends over the city. So all the Sentinels have to do is break a window. A kid with a baseball bat and a shitty batting stance can do the same. Just break a window and let the Inhuman farts do the rest. Again, it's a dick move, but it's smart. Can't remember the last time I said that about a killer robot and I've seen every Terminator movie.

Magneto and his X-men look fucked even more than they're used to. That's when they get a lucky break from the Extraordinary team. For some reason, they're in the neighborhood and offer a hand. They help protect the innocent mutants, destroy the sentinels, and protect them from the Inhuman fart cloud. It's a friendly gesture to their fellow mutant. That or they're just bored on a Sunday afternoon. When they live in a fucking demon realm, I imagine that happens a lot.

There's some decent action. Nothing as epic as Wolverine in a drinking contest with Thor, but still plenty enjoyable. It's a very simple, very basic act for the X-men. They protect innocent mutants and try not to get screwed worse than they already are. The fact that nobody ends up dead off-panel, sterilized, or time-displaced is a victory in and of itself.

Within this battle, there are also a few solid character interactions. Psylocke and Nightcrawler have a nice reunion. It acts as a reminder of sorts that the Extraordinary team and the Uncanny team operate very differently from one another. They haven't really interacted much since Secret Wars ended and Cyclops became more evil than Comcast's technical support. So this is kind of an overdue moment, but it comes together nicely and Cullen Bunn handles the interactions well. At the very least, he shows that both teams are united in their efforts to protect innocent mutants.

Some interactions fall a bit flat though. Old Man Logan and Sabretooth actually interact in this battle. Usually when Sabretooth and any version of Logan interact, it's a big fucking deal. It's kind of glossed over here though. They do bark at each other, as old enemies tend to do, but not much more than that. The focus is mostly on protecting mutants and destroying killer robots, which always takes priority.

The battle eventually ends. The mutants are safe. The X-men are safe. Nobody dies, gets sterilized, or gets killed off-panel. It's a great day for the X-men and a shitty day for Brett Ratner. For a moment, it seems the X-men make it through a day without getting screwed over worse than they already are. There's still the strange matter of the Extraordinary team showing up just in time to save Magneto's team from being choked by Inhuman farts, but that sort of shit happens every time in a re-run of Superfriends. The heroes always show up in time for no reason to save the day. Can they leave at that and be happy?

Short answer, fuck no. As they're all enjoying this moment of momentary unity, Monet senses the truth. The Extraordinary team didn't just aid them because they got bored talking to demons in Limbo. They had some foresight, thanks to Ulysses. The X-men played a part in the first part of Civil War II. O5 Jean even met the newest Inhuman who made sure a Celestial didn't wipe his ass with Earth's asses. That same Inhuman gave them the warning they needed to save the Uncanny team from being poisoned by Inhuman farts. Given that the Inhumans are responsible for their current status of being way more fucked than usual, it's kind of awkward.

Thanks to Monet and Psylocke's telepathy and O5 Jean Grey's direct involvement in the events of Civil War II, Magneto's team gets a full refresher course in the events if Civil War II. They find out who Ulysses is, what he can do, and how he already managed to save the world with his power. It's kind of sobering because it means that without him, Magneto's team would've died at the hands of Inhuman farts. Short drowning in Blob's toilet, it's a bad way to go for any mutant.

It leads to a major argument between the two teams, despite having just worked so well together to save a bunch of innocent mutants. This isn't Wolverine versus Cyclops over who gets to see Jean Grey naked. This is Magneto and Storm, arguing about the merits of helping the Inhumans or letting them have an asset like Ulysses. It's a powerful argument and for once, Magneto is the more reasonable side. Yes, the man famous for villainous performances from Michael Fassbender and Ian McKellan is the more reasonable one here. Let that shit sink in for a moment.

He points out one too many valid facts. The Inhumans are responsible for the current shitty state of mutant affairs and they aren't doing jack shit to help. They're celebrated, welcomed, and subject to no killer robot attacks while mutants have to live in fucking Limbo. Now, they've got the ultimate weapon on their side, ensuring they can never be beaten. After losing one war against the Inhumans, why the fuck would any mutant want to give them a greater edge?

I'm sorry, Storm. You have a great ass, great hair, and you made me forget about Hallie Berry's performance in Catwoman, but you're wrong here. Helping the Inhumans is like giving a tax break to the Bill Gates. It's creating way more problems than it solves.

The teams part on a bitter note. Storm and her team go back to a world where they tolerate letting the Inhumans shit all over them. Meanwhile, Magneto and his team discuss what to do about this newest Inhuman. He's already seen how the Inhumans can fuck over the mutant race and still be called heroes despite it. He's more than a little uncomfortable with them having an asset like Ulysses on their side.

Again, everything he says is perfectly valid. I really don't like agreeing with Magneto this much, but he's right. There's no way around it. I'm not the only one who sees that too. In the middle of discussing how fucked they are, Nightcrawler shows up and says he's sick of being fucked over by the Inhumans as well. He'll gladly work with Magneto to help prevent mutants from being screwed any further. When Nightcrawler, a devout Catholic and a very forgiving person by nature, has had enough of the Inhumans' shit, you know the X-men are fucked.

So...is it awesome?

It sets the stage for every member of the X-men getting pissed at Magneto. That on its own is nothing new. Shit, that's the basis of no less than 75 percent of every major X-men event. However, what sets Civil War II: X-men #1 apart is that Magneto is...well, kind of right. There's nothing he says that anyone, even an omega level psychic, can disagree with. Working with the Inhumans is kind of like lubing your own asshole up in prison. No matter how shit turns out, you're fucked in the worst possible way.

It's a powerful, compelling setup for the X-men. It ties in nicely with the ongoing conflicts in Civil War II while building on the X-men's current struggles in semi-dystopian present. Sure, the X-men are still fucked. Sure, there's nothing they can do until Marvel can make more obscene profits from movie deals. That still doesn't stop Civil War II: X-men #1 from being awesome. It sets up a simple, basic clash between Magneto and the X-men. What more do X-men fans want that doesn't involve Emma Frost's tits?

Final Score: 8 out of 10

Fittingly Effective Foresight: Civil War II #1

The following is my review of Civil War II #1, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

There's a reason why some one-hit wonders are destined to fail in any effort to recapture their initial success. As Vanilla Ice and everyone whoever did the Macarena can attest, it's easy to get burned out on something when it's overdone and overexposed. Capturing that same success is even harder than capturing lightning in a bottle a second time. At least lightning obeys the laws of nature. Those that consume media tend to scoff at those laws in ways that frustrate every marketing department that ever existed.

This same dynamic applies to major crossover events in comics. Sometimes, the time and place is right for such an event. Mark Millar's work on Civil War couldn't have come out at a better time. It was a time where issues like the Patriot Act and pre-emptive war actively shaped the mindset of the public. It's hard to determine whether the time and place is right for Civil War II, but Marvel is rolling the dice, hoping they can succeed where Vanilla Ice failed.

Civil War II #1 ignites a conflict that promises to divide Marvel's iconic heroes every bit as much as the Superhero Registration Act/Sokovia Accords. It's a conflict that, much like its predecessor, reflects real-world issues in maintaining a safe and just society. It's all built around the prospect of punishing crime before it occurs. It's an untenable concept outside of a North Korean court, but in a world where there are enough psychics to start their own baseball team, it's a legitimate issue to discuss.

Brian Michael Bendis makes it a point to make this discussion the main driving force of the narrative, but it's the spectacle built around that driving force that gives Civil War II #1 an impact that rivals its predecessor. The story doesn't actually start with the debate. It starts with a full-fledged, unambiguous triumph. It's the kind of triumph usually reserved for the end of a crossover story after every effort is made to make the heroes the underdogs. Bendis effectively flips that script in the best possible way.

A rogue Celestial invades, the heroes of the Marvel universe unite, and they win the day with less collateral damage than mild Hulk rampage. At a time when every major superhero clash incurs enough damage to bankrupt Stark Industries, this feels like a refreshing novelty. However, it's the context in which this battle occurs that gives it a unique weight.

It centers around Ulysses, a recently-formed Inhuman who has the ability to accurately see the future. He's the reason why every hero of the Marvel universe was able to effectively coordinate against a Celestial attack. He shows that with enough warning, prep time, and access to Tony Stark's credit cards, there aren't many threats that Earth's mightiest heroes can't deal with. In the grand scheme of superhero dynamics, it makes perfect sense. Many devastating attacks are built on the element of surprise. Take that away and even Thanos on his best day can't win.

It's a rarity in modern comics, the heroes being so competent and effective in their efforts. It's rare because on paper, it makes for a boring story. There's not much drama behind Superman rescuing a cat from a tree or Captain America telling children to eat their vegetables. In some respects, it's that rarity that makes this epic battle against a Celestial so impactful. It establishes just what Marvel's greatest heroes can accomplish when they have sufficient foresight, effective coordination, and no hindrances from competing movie studios.

This easy, efficient victory leads right into the dramatic debate that echoes the conflict that gives Civil War II the impact it needs to make the narrative work. Carol Danvers and Tony Stark draw the lines and establish the sides. On Carol's side, there's the idea that they should use Ulysses' power to prevent crimes from ever happening. On Tony's side, there's the idea that the punishment shouldn't come before the crime. Both sides make valid points. Both sides make passionate arguments. Both sides are sure to divide fans and inflame message boards, but for all the right reasons.

This argument captures the most important component of the original Civil War. It creates a conflict in which both sides make valid arguments. This isn't a matter of democracy versus fascism, truth versus deceit, or The Phantom Menace versus The Empire Strikes Back. There's a case to be made by both sides. By establishing this important dynamic, Civil War II #1 succeeds at achieving its most critical goal.

With this success, the foundation for the conflict is effectively set. The two opposing sides form and the stakes are established. In terms of the big picture, Civil War II #1 checks all the right boxes. In terms of the little pictures within that big picture, however, the details are lacking. Like Deadpool at a shooting range, the narrative does jump the gun in some areas.

The pacing of the story, as well as the sequence of the events, is poorly organized and disjointed at times. It made sense to rush the battle against the Celestial because of Ulysses' impact. However, the subsequent battle against Thanos that incurred major casualties lacked the necessary context. While this didn't take away from the heavy emotions and high drama, it does come off as contrived to some extent.

Despite the disorganization and inconsistencies, Civil War II #1 hits the ground running in all the right ways for all the right reasons. Brian Michael Bendis succeeds in capturing the same spirit that Mark Millar captured with the original Civil War. It doesn't try too hard to be exactly like its predecessor. It doesn't try to radically reinvent the concept either. Civil War II strikes a perfect balance between the fresh and the familiar. It succeeds where so many one-hit wonders fail. It may be too late for Vanilla Ice, but the timing is perfect for this latest Marvel spectacle.

Final Score: 8 out of 10

Civil War II: X-men #1 PREVIEW!

It's been a while since I singled out a preview on this blog. To be honest, I put a lot less stock in previews these days because they tend to be shitty teasers that rarely reflect the quality of a book. That's not just a problem Marvel has either. Pretty much all comics do that and like a trailer that gives away all the good parts, I think their value is overstated.

That said, some are worth staying sober for. We all know by now that Marvel has developed a new fetish for fucking over the X-men at every turn. Civil War II will likely contribute to that effort. At the rate it's going, the entire mutant race will need an extra asshole to accommodate the screw-job they'll endure. On the other side, I'm pretty sure the Inhumans will come off so glowing that they could all take a shit in a portopotty and make it smell like a chocolate factory. X-men fans just have to reside themselves to the fact that this is the new normal. Marvel will continue to fuck the X-men with an Inhuman-powered dick until Fox cough's up the rights some time in 2093.

So we can either whine about it or just sit back and enjoy the shit storm for what it is. Thankfully, the X-men comics still have writers like Cullen Bunn, Tom Taylor, and Jeff Lemire. They still seem to be putting a concerted effort to making the X-men comics awesome, despite Marvel's best efforts. While I'm sure it infuriate the lawyers, they do have a Civil War II tie-in book. It's coming out next week and I'm sure the entire mutant race will want to lube up their assholes accordingly.

CBR: Civil War II: X-men #1 Preview

So there are rich assholes in every group that will try to exploit the shit out of a bad situation. That makes sense. Being a mutant doesn't make anyone immune to being a total cunt. Looking at you, Hope fucking Summers.

Beyond rich assholes jerking off while other mutants suffer because of the Inhuman fart cloud, Magneto is once again showing that he can get shit done in ways that no pacifist can hope to match. It's a huge theme of Cullen Bunn's run on Uncanny X-men. I can only hope he'll take it way too fucking far here in Civil War II. That brings out the best in Magneto and the X-men as a whole. So even though I know this is going to end in a shit storm for mutants, I'm still going to grab a case of beer, sit back, and enjoy the show as best I can with an unsober mind. Nuff said!

All-New X-men #10: Nuff Said!

Is someone born a genocidal douche-bag are they made? Despite what Lady Gaga songs would have us believe, this question has no clear answers. It's often a combination of the two. Some people are just born with a greater capacity to be assholes than others. Some are just molded into an asshole by a potent combination of shitty parenting, shitty upbringing, and shitty circumstances. Put anyone in the right position and they'll gladly rub elbows with the likes of Apocalypse, Thanos, and whoever Spider-Man happens to piss off.

All-New X-men #10 is exploring this question with Apocalypse, a character I just listed as someone who might share a cold beer with Thanos. While Extraordinary X-men explores yet another dystopian future, Dennis Hopeless has O5 Beast and Kid Apocalypse exploring a lesser-known past. It has major implications for the Apocalypse Wars event as a whole and the entire fucking timeline as a whole. Then again, tearing the timeline a new asshole has never bothered Beast before.

Now that he's a prisoner of the Sandstormers, it damn well better be bothering him now. I'm sure Marty McFly would've taken a bat to every time machine in the world if he had to spend more than 10 minutes with these assholes instead of making his future mother horny. O5 Beast manages to find a way to travel to the past, but fucks up as only he can by ending up with the fucking Sandstormers.

Naturally, they're curious about his arrival and wondering how he can help them slaughter more innocent villages. That curiosity, as well as the aid of a creepy old blind guy who shouldn't be within 100 miles of a teenage boy, keeps him alive, but only in a way that'll make him wish he were dead in the long run.

Time travel is much nicer to Kid Apocalypse, probably because he hasn't craved one too many new assholes in the timeline yet. The defining moment in the last issue was him meeting with his younger, pre-Apocalypse self and helping him escape the Sandstormers. Now, Kid Apocalypse is rubbing elbows with his past self and his past self has no fucking clue just what kind of an asshole he grows up to be. It's awkward, but not incest in 1955 awkward.

Dennis Hopeless goes out of his way to really flesh out Kid Apocalypse and his predecessor here. He makes it clear that young En Sabah Nur isn't exactly a fan of the Sandstormers. He's more like one of those unlucky in-laws whose family marries into a family of Raider fans. As far as pre-Apocalypse knows, Kid Apocalypse is just another blue-skinned freak like him and he can help him get the fuck away from the Sandstormers. At this point in his life, he's willing to trust him and probably kiss him if he can get him out of this shit. It's still creepy, but understandable and not technically incest.

This is a big fucking deal to anyone who knows much about Apocalypse's past. That's not saying much though because even his Wikipedia page doesn't give much insight into how some kid in Ancient Egypt became a genocidal asshole for the ages. Hopeless does something remarkable here in revealing that En Sabah Nur hasn't always been that asshole. He makes the case that hanging around the Sandstormers will turn any kid into an asshole of cosmic proportions.

Hopeless actually strengthens that case as he has Kid Apocalypse help his younger hide from the Sandstormers inside a settlement. There, they cross path's with Erika, a woman who looks ripped from a Pirates of the Caribbean movie and is far more bonerific than Johnny Depp. She has the subtlety of Johnny Depp too, as well as Russell Crowe's temper when she picks a fight with some guy selling fruit. Immediately, she comes off as the kind of person who picks a fight with someone who looks at her tits cross-eyed.

However, what makes this fight important isn't how petty overly sober people can be, regardless of the timeline. It's how pre-Apocalypse defuses the situation without maiming anybody. I'll give X-men fans a second process that. Apocalypse, or the kid who becomes Apocalypse, defused a situation without violence. Sure, he uses the fact that everyone is fucking terrified of his father, Ba'al, but he prevents anyone from getting their throats cut. He even pays for the food Erika ate.

Yeah, he's against violence and pays for his meal. At one point, Apocalypse had the manners of Oliver fucking Twist. I know. I'm still struggling to process it too, but in a good way. If Oscar Isaac got to reference this shit, his sex appeal would've been off the charts.

So at this point, my sympathy for Apocalypse is way higher than O5 Beast. Granted, that shit is graded on a steep curve, but it's still worth pointing out. O5 Beast is still trapped with the Sandstormers and the creepy old man who would be barred from being near children at most points in history is learning all he can. Behind the creepiness though, he does offer some important insight.

He cites a few important aspects of Apocalypse's established past, including Rama-Tut and stories of time travel. None of what he says is contrary to any established canon surrounding Apocalypse. Considering how fucked up the timeline is in the X-men movies, this shows that Hopeless gives considerable more fucks about continuity than most. Unlike my old gym teachers, I do give points for effort. The creepy old man cares a lot about that continuity as well. He seems to like a future where Apocalypse grows up to be a genocidal asshole and wants to make it happen. That or he's also a huge Oscar Isaac fan.

Back with Kid Apocalypse, we see even more insight into this kid who grows up to be the genocidal asshole that one day gets his own movie. There's some important moments here with Kid Apocalypse still looking at his younger self and seeing the monster he grows up to be. However, in this particular time, his younger self is just a happy-go-lucky kid who enjoys swimming and spear-fishing. He doesn't torture young animals or beat up kids on the playground. He's actually a healthy, normal kid with healthy, normal interests. I'm as shocked as Kid Apocalypse here, although he's probably way more sober.

He has a nice little conversation with Erika and she's even topless, so you know Kid Apocalypse is going to take her seriously. She believes Ba'al is the real asshole here. She makes the case that he's the one who turns this lovable young boy into Apocalypse. It leaves Kid Apocalypse pretty damn conflicted. Hell, I'm conflicted too. I still don't believe my old gym teacher wasn't born an asshole, but the insight in the story here does give me pause.

If there's anyone in this story who is an unambiguous asshole, it's Ba'al. There's no effort to humanize him and that's probably for the better. He comes off as the kind of guy who loved torturing animals as a kid and probably pissed on their corpses for good measure. When he visits O5 Beast and the old man, he's gone way too long without murdering someone. On top of that, his adopted son who he wants to mold in his assholery image is missing. He wants him back and he's perfectly willing to torture O5 Beast in any way necessary. While I still think O5 Beast is a total douche, I'll happily concede he's not on the same level as Ba'al. That man is a league of his own in terms of douche-baggery. He's almost as bad as Hope fucking Summers. Almost.

Since it's only a matter of time before Ba'al's douche-baggery finds them, things get a lot more urgent with Kid Apocalypse and his past self. His past self is still eager to get the fuck away from Ba'al, hopefully to another continent or timeline, whichever is easier. However, Kid Apocalypse is still reluctant to leave O5 Beast behind. Even he understands that this cannot be good for the timeline in the same way an extra shot of tequila cannot be good for my liver.

That discussion ends abruptly when one of the Sandstormers' rivals attack them at the port. Apparently, being a marauding band of assholes tends to make enemies, regardless of the era. Go figure. A nice little fight breaks out, one where Kid Apocalypse and his younger self get to be heroic. I'm still not used to that shit, but it's quickly growing on me. Pre-Apocalypse shows that, despite being less of an asshole, he can still kick way more ass than most kids his age. He just does it in a way that makes him lovable. Other characters can learn a lot from him.

Looking at you, Hope fucking Summers!

Kid Apocalypse sees this too. We get some nice inner musings about how he and this kid really are more alike than he thought. This young pre-Apocalypse is basically trying to do everything Kid Apocalypse is doing. He's trying to not become an asshole, but constantly gets distracted when bloodthirsty assholes attack him. It's a wonderfully poetic moment of sorts, one that says a lot more about fate and destiny than every Terminator movie ever made. No killer robots from the future are necessary here. It's just a powerful realization at a moment where Kid Apocalypse sees that maybe being an asshole isn't carved into his destiny with an adamantium dildo.

Kid Apocalypse and his past self manage to get away before they start enjoying the bloodshed too much. They're on the ship with Erika, who might be inclined to take her top off again. So everything is looking up for them, right?

Well, Ba'al is still alive so they're still fucked to some unenviable degree. He finally gets in touch with them, courtesy of the creepy old guy's mystic shit. He shows that he's just that determined to turn young Apocalypse into a genocidal asshole and he's willing to torture O5 Beast to do it. That means the prospect of swimming with more topless women got a lot more remote. I honestly can't think of a worse tragedy for Kid Apocalypse.

So...is it awesome?

Before I answer that, let me just point out that most stories that center around Beast tend to be graded on a reverse curve. This is a guy who joined the Inhumans, blames Cyclops for everything, and sticks his furry dick into an already-ravaged timeline whenever the fuck he feels like it. That said, All-New #10 essentially kicks that reverse curve in the ass. It's not just because O5 Beast does jack shit for the most part. It's because this story does something incredible. It gives depth, context, and intrigue to Apocalypse as a character. Read that sentence over again because for long-time X-men fans, it warrants repeating.

Anyone who just saw X-men: Apocalypse can understand that as a character, Apocalypse is as basic as the Red Skull, Darkseid, or one of Peter Parker's ex-girlfriends. Pretty much everything about him to this point is built around influences that make him a genocidal douche-bag. All-New X-men #10 completely fucks that overly simple setup in the best possible way. It paints Apocalypse as someone who became evil because of assholes like Ba'al influencing him, not because he's just an inherent douche-bag. It makes his story interesting in ways that Oscar Isaac's sex appeal can only help. At a time when Marvel seems to give three-tenths of a shit about making the X-men more interesting, this is as awesome an upheaval as any X-men fan can ask for. Remember that because I might not be able to say that with a straight face for much longer.

Final Score: 9 out of 10

Disingenuously Desecrating an Icon: Superman #52

The following is my review of Superman #52, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

In the early 90s, DC Comics did the unthinkable. They killed Superman. They killed a character who can lift mountains, survive supernovas, and somehow remain relevant despite Batman getting more movies. Death of Superman remains a landmark moment for Superman and superhero comics as a whole. Now, a little over two decades later, the idea of Superman dying is officially overdone.

It seems to be the only way to significantly shift Superman's narrative, killing him off and having the rest of the DC Universe deal with the ramifications. That's the approach that Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice utilizes and, as its score on Rotten Tomatoes shows, it doesn't evoke the same passion it did in the early 90s. Now, Superman #52 attempts to utilize this approach in the soon-to-be-rebranded comics.

It's the culmination of a long, overdrawn story that begins after Superman finally got his powers and his Fortress of Solitude back. Now, he's dying and trying to prepare the world for his extended absence, not knowing how poorly his death stuck in the early 90s. However, there's no epic showdown with Doomsday, Darkseid, or Lex Luthor. There's no final journey to cross off the remaining items on his bucket list. Essentially, Superman #52 takes the opposite approach that Grant Morrison took with All-Star Superman and naturally, it shows in the results.

The story that Peter Tomasi finishes never feels complete, concise, or all that dramatic. That's not to say there isn't some level of drama surrounding Superman's pending death. It just comes off as incredibly hollow and for a story that involves the death of a major character, this is the antithesis of the emotions conveyed in the original Death of Superman. Considering that Death of Superman is an over 20-years-old, heavily retconned story, the shortcomings of this story are all the more egregious.

There's no final battle between Superman and some overwhelming evil. He's just battling some deranged copy of himself that he accidentally created with his solar flare power. That means Superman dies fixing a mistake he inadvertently made. It's about as heroic as Tony Stark destroying an evil machine that helps create. The difference with Superman here is that his battle isn't likely to inspire a billion-dollar movie.

There's very little depth to Superman's double. It lacks the menacing presence of Doomsday or the devious personality of Darkseid. He's just a deranged version of Superman who has better grammar than Bizarro. The battle attempts to be epic, but it never dares to be more visceral or violent than a Superfriends rerun. Batman and Wonder Woman are present, but they do nothing to help. They literally can't do anything. Their presence is completely wasted in this struggle. They're just there as witnesses and nothing more.

Even as witnesses though, the drama and impact of Superman's death falls distressingly flat. There's only a brief moment of between Superman and Wonder Woman where she says goodbye to him. That moment basically does the bare minimum for a relationship that developed over the course of four years of comics and not a fraction more.

There's also a moment where he says goodbye to Lois and Lana as well. This doesn't even come close to the bare minimum. There are some tears, but they're distinctly lacking in anguish. The moment is so rushed and contrived that it never has a chance to evoke any real drama. There's more drama in the first five minutes of a Smallville rerun than there is in the entirety of Superman #52. It comes off as wholly disingenuous to this version of Superman and every other version of Superman, retconned or otherwise.

This highlights one of the greatest flaws of the narrative as a whole. The impact from the original Death of Superman is iconic because for a time, it meant that the DC Universe had to function without Superman. That impact is not only completely lacking in Superman #52. It might as well be an inconvenient formality because there's already another Superman with the exact same skills, powers, and personality waiting in the wings. This Superman, a holdover from the events of Convergence, can pretty much pick up where he left off and not miss a beat.

The situation is as such where an iconic character like Superman can die and it has no major ramifications. The DC Universe still has a functioning, competent Superman. Anybody who sees him has no way of telling the difference between him and his predecessor. It's an accomplishment in the worst possible way, making Superman's death feel meaningless and forced. It doesn't just make for a poorly crafted story. It renders the very concept of Superman as something that can be copied, pasted, and pretty much discounted like a faulty battery.

Superman #52 fails at almost every level to make the end of Superman's story in the New 52 feel meaningful. At best, it's rushed and hollow. At worst, it's outright forced by shoving one version of a character aside to make way for another that is almost exactly the same. The circumstances, context, and timing for this narrative can't be worse. Superman is being killed off in multiple mediums, so much so that the shock value just isn't there anymore. By failing to add substance to this story, it feels like a waste.

There is, at the very least, some effort in Superman #52 to show that Superman's death will have some impact on the overall landscape of the DC Universe. From a conceptual standpoint, however, the impact is still very limited. In the end, the final results for the latest and not-so-greatest saga revolving around Superman dying feels downright callous towards DC's most iconic hero.

Final Score: 2 out of 10