New Uncanny X-men Teaser: All New Relaunch

Some comics you just know are going to get rebooted and relaunched because if Marvel is even semi-competent as a business, they know that we consumers are stupid enough to buy anything they slap a new #1 on. DC Comics proved this beyond all doubt with their New 52 relaunch. Marvel is preparing to do the same with Marvel NOW! albeit without the reboot part. So far, they've already announced numerous relaunches for books like Wolverine, Captain America, Fantastic Four, and Hulk. So is it really all that shocking when after ending Uncanny X-men a mere 20 issues after the last relaunch that they're inclined to do it again?

I already pointed out how the latest end of Uncanny X-men had about as much impact as a presidential endorsement by Snookie. And I've already posted numerous previews of the book that was supposed to replace it, All New X-men. But being all new just isn't enough for Marvel. They know that even without the brilliance of Kieron Gillen, Uncanny X-men is another source of income for their Disney overlords. So it wasn't too surprising when it was announced last week that Bendis would be writing another X-men book with a teaser so painfully obvious that it only could have been made more shocking if it was accompanied by a picture of Andy Dick's penis.

CBR: Marvel NOW! Teases Uncanny with Bendis and Bachalo

The reddish tint in the background is another telling hint that it's going to involve Cyclops. Not the teen boy scout Cyclops who yells "JEAN!!!" every other sentence. But the Cyclops who took on both the Avengers and the X-men, saved the mutant race, and willingly went to jail with his head held high because he was right all along. While he's still in jail in the pages of Avengers vs. X-men Consequences, we already know from other previews of All New X-men that he either gets paroled or pulls a Shawshank Redemption on the Avengers.

And by all accounts, his asshole is still intact.

Now this could still be a complete ruse and Marvel could just be fucking with us gullible fans. But that might just be too awesome for them. It may not even be called Uncanny X-men either. Hell, they could call this shit Uncanny Brotherhood for all we know, but as Marvel has shown with Uncanny Avengers the sales of a book can be supplemented greatly just by throwing the word Uncanny into the title. Is it shameless? Fuck yes. Do fans give a shit? Fuck no. Depending on how Consequences plays out and how All New X-men shapes up, it could go in many different directions. If Bendis is as competent as X-men fans all hope, then it'll be worth stocking up on booze and weed for! Nuff said!