Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Marvel Trolls "Dead No More" Again

Let's face it. Death isn't just a revolving door at Marvel. It's basically the anti-TSA. They actively go out of their way to avoid achieving their stated goal. Death is basically the only vacation Marvel heroes ever get. Some get more than others. Some get it for way longer than they want. Just ask Jean Grey, Gwen Stacy, and Richard Rider. But it's never a matter of if Marvel will bring back a dead character. It's never even a matter if Marvel will kill a major character. It's when.

Enter their latest act of trolling and fuck if it doesn't work. Courtesy of CBR and Newsarama, Marvel has declared "Dead No More" with absolutely no context. The part where they basically have their fans by the hearts and the balls is basically implied.

CBR: Marvel Proclaims "Dead No More"

Naturally, this raises the question who will be kicking the grim reaper in the balls this time? It's not like there's any shortage of dead characters. Wolverine, Jean Grey, Cyclops, Richard Rider, half the Fantastic Four...that's a pretty stacked bullpen if ever there was one. And Marvel knows we gladly throw our money at resurrection stories. DC only reinforced that with Blackest Night. So who could it be?

Wolverine? No, too soon. Plus, we've got Old Man Logan and X-23 running around in new roles.

Jean Grey? Tempting, but also too soon. Marvel is having way too much fun with her hormonal, immature teenage self. And Sophie Turner's role in X-men Apocalypse will only reinforce this sentiment.

Richard Rider? And fuck up the added diversity that Sam Alexander brings to the table? Fuck no, they're not going to do that.

The Fantastic Four? Pretty sure Marvel would rather wait until people forget about Josh Trank.

So here's my insanely drunken prediction. It'll be Doc Ock. Yeah, remember him? The asshole that took over Peter Parker's body and did a much better job being Spider-Man than Peter could ever hope? There's no way he'll stay dead. At some point, he has to come back and rub that shit in Peter's face, take back what he built, and send Peter Parker back to square fucking one, as Marvel tends to do every few years or so.

But don't take my word for it. I'm a drunk. I know about as much as the guy claiming to be Jesus on a street corner. This is just my take. I'm usually wrong, but I'm not going to stop trying. Like Al Bundy, I never win, but I never quit either. Nuff said!


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