Strength In Numbers With Youthful Idealism: Champions #16

The following is my review of Champions #16, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Any gambler not named Remy Lebeau knows there's a time to fold, a time to double down, and a time to re-evaluate one's bluffing skills. So long as they're not down to their last penny, it's usually wise to know when the odds just aren't favorable anymore. Young superheroes, especially those still in their teenage years, face greater odds than most. At the same time, however, they have the benefit of not being too jaded to throw away their ideals the same way Peter Parker claims to give up being Spider-Man every now and then.

Youth may inspire the kind of wide-eyed optimism that makes most jaded adults roll their eyes. However, that's exactly what makes teams like Champions so endearing. They live in a world where adult superhero teams have waged a civil war on one another twice. They regularly see established heroes like Captain America fall prey to sinister influences like Hydra while villains like Magneto somehow manage to operate with some semblance of credibility. These are some pretty mixed messages, especially for impressionable youth.

Mark Waid and Hamberto Ramos don't shield the members of the Champions from those messages. In fact, confronting those heroic inconsistencies of the modern Marvel universe is a major theme of Champions, as well as a major appeal. This cast of younger, less jaded heroes want to cling to those superhero ideals that seemed to go out of style since the Frank Miller era. The world around them isn't making that easy. If anything, that world keeps upping its bets and skewing the odds.  

Champions #16 has these idealistic young heroes respond by having them go on a recruitment run. Considering the events of previous issues, which included crossovers and clashes with the far less idealistic adult Avengers, it comes off as strange, if not too soon. From the perspective of young, teenage heroes who cling ardently to their idealism, though, it makes perfect sense. Tragedy and drama may hit adults and teenagers equally hard, but teenagers will often find more creative ways of dealing with it. Those ways aren't always healthy or rational, but that's exactly what makes them endearing.

The tragedy and drama in this case has to do with the recent upheavals surrounding Viv Vision. Even by advanced android standards, she's in a strange position. After the Champions and Avengers' recent clash with the High Evolutionary, there are now two versions of her, one human and one android. It's an identity crisis that's unprecedented, even in a world full of clones and shape-shifting aliens. Neither version is able to make sense of the situation. Viv's teammates don't fare much better.

There's now a sense in Champions that the team is more vulnerable than it was when it began. It's not just because one of their members is a time traveler who could trigger a paradox with one bad decision. The events surrounding Viv painfully demonstrate that there are times when the team becomes fractured. There are moments when personal dramas hinder the team's ability to function. It's a problem adults face too, but adults are more inclined to stick with what works and preserve the past. Teenagers, not having much of a past to begin with, look to the future.

That's the underlying theme of the narrative that Waid crafts in Champions #16 and Ramos' colorful visuals make it feel optimistic, despite the dramatic circumstances. Despite the seriousness of these circumstances, Waid preserves the light-hearted, upbeat tone that gives Champions much of its appeal. Throughout the story, the fact that these are still teenagers never becomes lost. They see what happens to their friend. They don't make light of it, but they still move forward.

That part of the story works to the extent that it lays the foundation for more interactions between the Champions and other young heroes. While Viv heals, their recruiting run leads them to cross paths with the likes of Moon Girl, Red Locust, Iron Heart, and Patriot. Some of these characters have crossed paths with the Champions before. Like the Champions, though, they respond to the message because they too lack the jaded mentality that plagues older heroes.

It's a golden opportunity for young heroes to come together and remind older heroes that there's still room for the kind of wide-eyed idealism that most superheroes lose in their first year. Unfortunately, little of that opportunity is realized in Champions #16. The recruitment run does get off to a good start, but there's not much depth beyond just interacting with other young heroes. Some, like those with Moon Girl, fit the spirit and character of the story. Others, like the moments with Iron Heart, don't really contribute much.

That lack of depth is partially due to the unfolding side-plot surrounding Viv. In many respects, this plot carries with it much heavier drama. Viv's identity crisis and sense of self are in flux. There's a lot of internal conflict that plays out in between interactions with her android self and Vision. Some of it still echoes with the kind of teenage melodrama that is so distinct of Champions. Most of it, though, comes off as detached narration.

The intent is clear throughout the story, both with Viv Vision and the Champions' recruitment drive. It's the execution that leaves much to be desired. Both elements of the story have the right dynamics, but both end up feeling incomplete. It gives the impression that the story needed to be at least twice as longer for the necessary elements to play out. It makes Champions #16 feel somewhat truncated, even if the potential is still there.

The idealism and appeal of Champions never wanes, even in light of major upheavals, both personal and circumstantial. That remains one of the greatest strengths of the series. It's realizing the potential of the various plots and sub-plots that keep it from having the kind of impact that teenagers and adults alike can appreciate. Even if both are destined to end up jaded, the appeal of the idealism espoused by young heroes remains as strong as ever.

Final Score: 5 out of 10

Aspirations For Inspiration: Champions #6

The following is my review of Champions #6, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Seeking to inspire others to do good is one of the most fundamental acts of heroism that any superhero can do. Superman inspires by embodying an ideal for humanity to aspire towards. Captain America inspires by embodying the patriotic spirit that emboldens and strengthens an entire nation. Deadpool inspires by embodying the power of tacos and machine guns. These are among the most basic traits of a hero and after Civil War II, the entire Marvel universe needs a refresher course.

That's what Mark Waid and Hamberto Ramos are doing with Champions, getting back to basic and showing the rest of Marvel's superhero community that there are better ways to do good and they don't require superhero civil wars. Ms. Marvel, Nova, Spider-Man, Cyclops, Hulk, and Viv Vision are all uniquely qualified to teach this lesson in that they're young, idealistic, and haven't been revealed as Skrulls or Hydra agents yet. Beyond being diverse, coming from many different backgrounds and even different time periods, they are essentially a disaffected generation that sees what's happening with established heroes and think there's room for improvement.

It's a common spirit that pervades inexperienced youth. They see the flaws of the older generation and think they can do better, but the cast of Champions accomplish much more than any hippie protest or online petition. They embody a spirit often gets muted by politics, bureaucracy, or one too many retcons. This eclectic cast of young heroes aren't quite that jaded just yet, if only because they haven't dealt with SHIELD or Maria Hill enough.

The first several issues of Champions show this diverse cast coming together and establishing a standard for how they conduct themselves as heroes. That standard proves quite effective, leading to some meaningful victories and a kiss involving the Hulk. However, as often happens with many efforts involving ambitious youth, they encounter a few challenges and Champions #6 establishes the scope of those challenges, complete with relevant social commentary.

Now it's debatable how important these undertones are to the underlying themes of the series. There are any number of rants, tirades, and bemoaning that can be levied against a series that unambiguously reflects a particular political affiliation. Any comic that risks being vocal about any relevant issue risks agitating a world that would turn Superman into a Nazi if he says the wrong thing in the wrong context. That's the power of hashtags, phony outrage, and too much free time.

Regardless of how anyone may feel about social commentary in a comic book, Champions #6 shows that a certain level of social appeal can go a long way. Waid and Ramos make it a point to show how the Champions have influenced the world as a whole. They demonstrate how the Champions have created an entire social movement for all the right reasons with all the right impacts.

The Champions aren't just saving the day from monsters, human traffickers, and internet trolls. They're inspiring others to get up, embrace the Champion's principles, and do something. Given how much it takes to drag people away from their cell phones and jobs, that's quite an accomplishment.

Given how detached other superhero teams have become from the people at large, such an impact carries a great deal of weight for the greater Marvel universe. If a bunch of teenagers, one of which is a robot and another of which is a time traveler, can have this kind of positive impact, then those with helicarriers and space stations have no excuse.

Beyond that impact, though, the story in Champions #6 is just as much about the unintended backlash to this new superhero team as it is their success. The team is still coming together and Waid gives them a chance to show that they're still teenagers in addition to being heroes. Having them train through a game of paintball makes for a fun, light-hearted tone that even those who whine about the book's social commentary can appreciate.

From the perspective of the larger narrative, this kind of team activity doesn't raise the stakes or heighten the drama. However, it does flesh out the various personalities on the team and shows how they interact. Despite the diversity, they function as well as any group of teenagers armed with superpowers and paintball guns. They're not necessarily a dysfunctional family, but they're not the Fantastic Four either.

Those more light-hearted elements get balanced out when Waid explores the first major backlash that the Champions inspire. Such a backlash is always bound to happen and most teenagers have to learn the hard way that no good deed goes unpunished in the real world. In this case, the punishment hardly fits the deed because the Champions have no way of knowing how those with greater authority than a bunch of teenagers opt to react to their impact.

This is where the Freelancers come in. They are, in essence, the counter-punch to the movement that Champions have inspired. Much of Champions #6 involves introducing this team and establishing how they're going to undermine everything the Champions have accomplished. Like the Champions, they're a bunch of jaded teenagers with superpowers. Unlike the Champions, however, they care less about social commentary and more about their bank statement.

Waid reveals this in a somewhat elaborate manner. At first, the Freelancers give the impression that they're just a bit less ethical than the Champions. By the end, though, they make clear that they'll gladly rub elbows with big oil companies, Hydra agents, and tobacco lobbyists to improve their living standards. They care less about being a hero and more about making the most money with the least amount of effort and/or ethical constraints.

In the context of the major themes surrounding Champions, the Freelancers are the perfect adversaries. Waid makes this abundantly clear in Champions #6. However, this clarity doesn't come with any larger plot developments. A paintball game of super-powered teenagers is fun, but does little to expand their story. The only ones who get any real progression are the Freelancers and while their mission is fairly clear, their respective personalities are under-developed and overly forgettable.

Champions #6 still accomplishes and important feat for the greater narrative. It establishes what the Champions are up against and how their new movement of less civil wars and more heroics is creating an impact. Waid and Ramos to mix that impact with the fun of a paintball game. While the entertainment value of paintball is beyond dispute, the larger implications of the Champions' story remains underdeveloped and unresolved.

Final Score: 6 out of 10

A Fan Among Heroes: All-New, All-Different Avengers Annual #1

The following is my review of All-New, All Different Avengers Annual #1, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

The success of Deadpool proves there's a fertile market for a story that dares to be overly meta. It's not just about breaking the fourth wall or acknowledging the erratic sentiments of comic book message boards. The appeal of a meta-narrative acts as a mirror of sorts, reflecting the passions of fans, be they the healthy kinds and the not-so-healthy kinds.

Most fans agree that passions like Deadpool aren't exactly healthy. More often than not, they earn the same R-rating as his movie. That doesn't mean that a more PG-13 version of these passions is impossible. In fact, there's another character who embodies the best of these passions and doesn't need to make dirty jokes about it. That character, of course, is Kamala Khan.

There's a long list of reasons why Kamala Khan is such a lovable, endearing character. Chief among them is the fact that she's a fan. Before she becomes Ms. Marvel, she's just another passionate fangirl who loves superheroes and writes fan fiction . She is very much the embodiment of the passions of countless fans. That makes the setup in All-New, All-Different Avengers Annual #1 especially engaging because it offers insight into the fan fiction that reflects Kamala's passions for superheroes. That insight makes for a cartoonish yet uniquely entertaining narrative that inspires the fanboys and fangirls alike.

Some parts of that setup are built upon Ms. Marvel's current narrative. She's an Avenger now and rapidly ascending the ever-shifting hierarchy of the Marvel universe. She even manages to do it without time travel, clones, or someone dying. That alone is a testament to her strengths. Despite this, she is still a teenager and she is still woefully inexperienced. This means she constantly clashes with her teammates, especially her younger cohorts in Spider-Man and Nova.

This inexperience and immaturity, the foundation on which most teenage superheroes grow, makes her reaction to fan fiction stories about Ms. Marvel all the more entertaining. She can't be expected to just ignore the insanity that often manifests in fan fiction. She's a young hero who still isn't accustomed seeing her name associated with embarrassing, easily accessible media. After the events of  All-New, All-Different Avengers Annual #1, she'll likely need advice from Peter Parker.

The story is organized through several colorful, laughably cheesy stories written by multiple writers, including Mark Waid and G. Willow Wilson. They each act as a commentary of sorts on the colorful proclivities of fan fiction, such as tendencies to create bizarre romantic entanglements and making unpopular political statements. These stories never take themselves too seriously and aren't going to be confused with canon in this or any other universe. That's what gives them their charm.

It's because of that unique charm that these stories tend to evoke strong reactions. As some of these stories unfold, Kamala's reactions are almost as relevant as the story themselves. Take one story involving Ms. Marvel attaining the rank of Captain Marvel. At first, it plays out like a story that Kamala Khan would love. Then, an overtly politically incorrect twist at the end completely reverses her reaction. It's the kind of reversal that no competent editor will allow in a comic, but one that manifests all too easily in fan fiction.

Then, there's the story about She-Hulk and a love triangle. It's not a love triangle that would make it into an X-men movie, but it involves She-Hulk being woefully out-of-character in professing her love to a giant monster. It's as strange and entertaining as it sounds. It's also not-so-subtle commentary on the way love triangles play out, both in canon and in fan fiction. It doesn't take much to make them laughably absurd.

Despite this absurdity, it's the strange love story that involves Ms. Marvel, Miles Morales, and a world where everyone is an anthropomorphic animal that bothers Kamala the most. What makes this part of the story stand out is that, as quirky and cartoonish as it is, neither she nor Miles are completely out-of-character. It's another not-so-subtle comment about fan fiction. As crazy as it can be, it is possible for certain truisms to manifest within these absurdities.

These truisms play right into the meta themes of this story. In the end, Kamala Khan's sentiments are similar to those of fans. A few intriguing reveals at the end shows that she's not alone. It creates a larger message of sorts, one that implies that superheroes are aware of the quirky fandoms they inspire. Sometimes those quirks reveal genuine insight for these characters. It doesn't have to involve the bizarre quirks of fan fiction, but they do help get the point across.

For the most part, however, the quirky little stories in All-New, All-Different Avengers Annual #1 don't factor too heavily into Kamla Khan's reaction. Some are just pure entertainment value of the most absurd kind. At a time when Marvel is exploring the dire, depressing issues manifesting in Civil War II, this offers a nice reprieve, even if it doesn't tell a wholly cohesive story.

The lack of cohesion keeps the narrative from gaining any depth. In a story that explores the absurdities of fan fiction, there's only so much depth that's possible, but not much is realized outside a couple stories. Some of those stories may be quirky. Some are more forgettable than others. There's still undeniable entertainment value to be had. There's also an important message to convey.

The internet can and will annoy superheroes every bit as much as the villains they face. With All-New, All-Different Avengers Annual #1, Kamala Khan learns this the hard way. It's just one of many steps she'll have to take in her quest to become a better hero.

Final Score: 7 out of 10

Mindbending Avenging: All-New, All-Different Avengers #8

The following is my review of All-New, All Different Avengers #8, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

There are some issues in modern superhero comics that just don't have a real-world parallel. Issues like regulating superpowers, safeguarding weapons of mass destruction, and managing the use of killer robots have some degree of contemporary relevance. In fact, the management of killer robots is almost certain to become an election issue if DARPA, the Pentagon, and Amazon have their way. The same cannot be said for mind-wiping.

Despite the CIA's best efforts, there is no real-world equivalent to completely wiping the memory of an otherwise healthy adult mind and reshaping it accordingly. That's what makes the concept behind the Avengers: Standoff event such an intriguing thought experiment. In a world where telepaths like Emma Frost can make people forget their own names, why wouldn't the use of psychic manipulation be an issue? Given its potential uses and abuses, it would probably have its own lobbyists.

All-New, All-Different Avengers #8 highlights the potential of psychic manipulation in a way that is both disturbingly pragmatic and naturally terrifying. SHIELD, in its infinite wisdom and gross lack of oversight, attempts to use psychic manipulation to turn unrepentant criminals into productive members of society. On paper, it sounds like a win-win. It removes dangerous individuals from society in a manner that still allows them to pay taxes and contribute. It's basically a Republican's fantasy and the private prison industry's worst nightmare.

Despite sounding so good on paper, the Avengers learn fist-hand why this sort of thing would have the ACLU up in arms. Thanks to Maria Hill and a sentient version of the Cosmic Cube named Kobik, they've been subjected to the same psychic manipulation usually resolved for the Baron Zemos of the Marvel Universe. The fact that Kobik takes the form of a young girl adds an extra twist that feels like it came right out of The Shining, minus the Stephen King style of horror.

For the Avengers and the Unity Squad, the way Avengers: Standoff unfolds still has all the traits of a horror movie. A brief flash forward at the less-than-favorable outcome of this conflict with Kobik suggests that elements of a slasher movie get mixed in as well. However, these traits become secondary in All-New, All-Different Avengers #8. The story deals less with the mind-bending implications of Pleasant Hill and more with escaping its grasp. It's not quite as exciting as it sounds and in a story that has Deadpool in it, that's quite an accomplishment.

Previous issues of the story deal with breaking the psychic manipulation on the Avengers and the Unity Squad. It's hard to contemplate how someone who hasn't seen The Matrix multiple times might react to such manipulation. Having the power of Thor, the computing capacity of Vision, and the mental instability of Deadpool adds plenty of potential complications that might reveal something about these characters. It might even reveal that they're not that as mentally stable as Deadpool would have them believe.

All-New, All-Different Avengers #8 fails to address this though. It effectively paints itself into a corner, making it unable to add the kind of mind-bending layers to the story. It's less a philosophical thought experiment and more a prison break. The complexities that helped make Avengers: Standoff so intriguing give way to the kind of generic action that the Avengers face every other Tuesday.

That's not to say there aren't some compelling aspects of this struggle to escape Pleasant Hill. As is often the case, Deadpool finds a way to creatively confront the source of the chaos. Being a walking testament to chaos, violence, and tacos, he's uniquely qualified to confront Kobik. It's hard to imagine him being competent enough to confront a little girl who happens to embody a reality-warping power, but it gets a lot easier to imagine, considering it's not even the sixth weirdest thing Deadpool has confronted in his colorful history.

This doesn't necessarily mean Deadpool is a good influence on children, but it does mean he helps end the last parts of the Kobik's reality-warping, mind-bending illusion. It comes off as a bit overly simplistic, but Deadpool helps add a little entertainment value, as only he can. It completes the final part of the escape for the Avengers and the Unity Squad. Entertainment value aside, it still comes off as generic.

If there are any deeper impacts to being mentally manipulated, then they're cast aside in favor of more battles against super-powered monsters, as if the Avengers don't face enough of those. Mark Waid and Adam Kubert still find ways to add entertainment value where they can, but aside from Deadpool's contributions, it falls flat.

There's still a lot of potential in the concept behind Avengers: Standoff and All-New, All-Different Avengers #8 offers the best opportunity to the story to explore that concept. While that opportunity isn't completely wasted in terms of the overall story, it still wastes or ignores much of that opportunity.

The characters are mentally manipulated to a point where they believe that they've lived entirely different lives. Then, when the deception is exposed, they basically snap back to their old selves with no noticeable effects. While the minds of superheroes are supposed to be resilient, there's only so much protection a magic hammer or a spider sense can offer. It gives the impression that the human mind is stronger and more rational than daytime talk shows would have us believe.

Most Avengers stories involve them fighting super-powered bad guys at some point. The challenge is getting them to this point in a creative, novel manner. Avengers: Standoff tries to takes a creative path in meeting this challenge, but reverts back to familiar territory too quickly. There are any number of stories that involve the Avengers escaping the grasp of powerful, mind-bending, reality-warping threats. This is just the latest and far from the greatest.

Final Score: 5 out of 10

Living in a (Fleeting) Moment: All-New, All-Different Avengers #4

The following is my review of All-New, All-Different Avengers #4, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

There's a reason why the YOLO (You Only Live Once) meme became annoying quicker than a failed American Idol audition. As a concept, it's not inherently wrong. Despite what some world religions might claim, we only know for certain that we have one life to live. In the Marvel Universe, however, the concept becomes a bit more flawed and a lot more complicated.

It's not just because death in comics is a revolving door with a rusted lock. Because of retcons, reboots, and clones the concept of living in the moment might as well come with an asterisk. That still doesn't stop some characters from embracing the concept in a completely non-hipster type way. It's the primary lesson conveyed on All-New, All-Different Avengers #4. And it's conveyed in a way that even the cynical and the jaded can appreciate.

Mark Waid was tasked with assembling a new team of Avengers in the post-Secret Wars world. It sounds like a simple task, but when billion-dollar movie franchises are built on these teams, the stakes are a bit higher than placating fickle fanboys. Waid still rose to the occasion, creating a team of Avengers that includes familiar faces, rising stars, and a solid mix of diversity. While Glen Beck hasn't complained about it yet, it's a team that reflects a fitting and appropriate sentiment for 2016.

The first three issues of the series was a standard coming together story. It wasn't nearly as epic as a certain movie staring Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr., but it didn't feel as overplayed as a certain movie starting Andrew Garfield. All-New, All-Different Avengers #4 offers the first real insight into how this new team of Avengers functions and it does so in a way that never feels like a bad reality show or a 60s era sitcom.

There's just a real insight into this new team that feels genuine and balanced. It's basically the complete antithesis of the team dynamics we see in Lethal Weapon movies. There are very different personalities with characters like Nova, Ms. Marvel, and Vision. However, those personalities find a way to mesh in a manner that never feels forced. They don't need a drill sergeant or football coach to whip them into shape. They're not the Cleveland Browns. They're the Avengers.

When they get a chance to demonstrate their competence as Avengers, they pass the test. They don't necessarily pass with flying colors, but when the enemy involved is Cyclone, the test is graded on a curve. He's no Red Skull. Even Hugo Weaving couldn't make Cyclone an intimidating threat. However, he does give this new team of Avengers a chance to shine. While the scope of their efforts are as generic as a traffic stop on the Jersey Turnpike, the battle against Cyclone reflects the new normal for this era of Avengers.

It's not just the diversity that makes this new team of Avengers feel appropriate. It comes back to those sensibilities that we, the society of 2016, have developed in recent years. It's no longer enough for the Avengers to show up, fight monsters, punch the Red Skull in the face, and tell kids to eat their vegetables. As the backlash against movies like Man of Steel have shown, modern audiences care about civilian casualties. Indeed, in an era when the failures of our heroes are more scrutinized than ever, society is much less forgiving of missteps and oversights.

The Avengers in this conflict go out of their way to protect the civilians caught in Cyclone's attack. It takes up a good chunk of the fight. While Cyclone eventually gets knocked out in the same tradition as the Red Skull, the emphasis on protecting civilians adds an important dynamic to what would otherwise be the superhero equivalent of a typical Tuesday.

Beyond the new dynamics of a diverse, civilian-focused Avengers, there is another moment that adds weight to an otherwise typical clash in the new Prime Marvel universe. It comes in the form of a kiss between the new Captain America, Sam Wilson, and the new Thor, Jane Foster. In this case, the cover isn't an elaborate form of trolling in the tradition of Action Comics #600 or Astonishing X-men #14. This kiss does happen, but it's not the kind of kiss that will appeal to the Twilight crowd.

This moment between Sam Wilson and Jane Foster is another keen reflection on 2016 sensibilities. It comes after both characters get reminded that they look nothing like Chris Evans or Chris Hemsworth. There are fans, even within the comic itself, that whine about Captain America and Thor not being the "classic" versions. It's the whining internet trolls of comic book message boards taking form and substance. However, Sam and Jane deal with it in the best way possible and it doesn't involve whining to a moderator.

The two characters kiss. They do so after Sam laments about living up to the high bar set by Steve Rogers. Jane, whose true identity is still a mystery to everyone on the team, understands that these are unreasonable standards set by unreasonable people who make unreasonable comments on the internet. The kiss is just a good way of reinforcing her point and shutting him up.

At the same time, however, it isn't conveyed as a kiss that will create Marvel's next big power couple. This is not their response to DC's efforts with Superman and Wonder Woman. At the very most, this is just an awkward kiss at the end of a junior prom. In the context of the story, this is probably for the best.

Over the past decade or so, Marvel has treated romance and iconic couples with the same tact and care as a Jerry Springer rerun. It's gotten to a point where there are no iconic romances left in Marvel's vast mythos. Some have been killed off, retconned out of existence, or denigrated beyond repair. Marvel has treated their most iconic romances with the same care a two-year-old treats bowl of pasta. They only know how to make it into a mess and neither Sam Wilson nor Jane Foster deserve such treatment.

This kiss and the dynamics built around it give All-New, All-Different Avengers #4 just the right impact. There's a sense of hope, albeit fleeting, that this team can function in 2016 in all its unique sensibilities. Mark Waid has taken a diverse cast with iconic names and made it feel genuine. Glen Beck may still protest at some point, but that would only confirm that this new team of Avengers is doing something right.

Final Score: 9 out of 10

Marvel Trolls "Dead No More" Again

Let's face it. Death isn't just a revolving door at Marvel. It's basically the anti-TSA. They actively go out of their way to avoid achieving their stated goal. Death is basically the only vacation Marvel heroes ever get. Some get more than others. Some get it for way longer than they want. Just ask Jean Grey, Gwen Stacy, and Richard Rider. But it's never a matter of if Marvel will bring back a dead character. It's never even a matter if Marvel will kill a major character. It's when.

Enter their latest act of trolling and fuck if it doesn't work. Courtesy of CBR and Newsarama, Marvel has declared "Dead No More" with absolutely no context. The part where they basically have their fans by the hearts and the balls is basically implied.

CBR: Marvel Proclaims "Dead No More"

Naturally, this raises the question who will be kicking the grim reaper in the balls this time? It's not like there's any shortage of dead characters. Wolverine, Jean Grey, Cyclops, Richard Rider, half the Fantastic Four...that's a pretty stacked bullpen if ever there was one. And Marvel knows we gladly throw our money at resurrection stories. DC only reinforced that with Blackest Night. So who could it be?

Wolverine? No, too soon. Plus, we've got Old Man Logan and X-23 running around in new roles.

Jean Grey? Tempting, but also too soon. Marvel is having way too much fun with her hormonal, immature teenage self. And Sophie Turner's role in X-men Apocalypse will only reinforce this sentiment.

Richard Rider? And fuck up the added diversity that Sam Alexander brings to the table? Fuck no, they're not going to do that.

The Fantastic Four? Pretty sure Marvel would rather wait until people forget about Josh Trank.

So here's my insanely drunken prediction. It'll be Doc Ock. Yeah, remember him? The asshole that took over Peter Parker's body and did a much better job being Spider-Man than Peter could ever hope? There's no way he'll stay dead. At some point, he has to come back and rub that shit in Peter's face, take back what he built, and send Peter Parker back to square fucking one, as Marvel tends to do every few years or so.

But don't take my word for it. I'm a drunk. I know about as much as the guy claiming to be Jesus on a street corner. This is just my take. I'm usually wrong, but I'm not going to stop trying. Like Al Bundy, I never win, but I never quit either. Nuff said!

Breaking Down A Prelude: Original Sin #0

The following is my review of Original Sin #0, which was posted on PopMatters.com.

Not long ago, the concept of an Issue #0 for a comic seemed about as absurd as an issue that had a decimal for a number. Yet in the past three years, Marvel and DC have done both. But beyond introducing a numbering system that’s more complex than first grade math, these issues have created an entirely new category of comic. They aren’t meant to be part of an arc. And most of the time, they have little impact on the ongoing series. It’s possible to completely skip over these issues and not miss a thing in the main series. That a relief in some ways because some series are complicated enough without decimals and the number 0 being added to the mix. But it also presents a major challenge. If these issues can be glossed over like an extra on Star Trek, how do these issues become meaningful?

The key isn’t to add more complications to the story itself. The real strength of these issues is adding some emotional weight to the impact of the larger story. That’s the task set forth in Original Sin #0. In some respects, this issue has an even greater challenge than most elaborately numbered comics. The first issue of Marvel’s big summer blockbuster has already been spoiled, not unlike a movie trailer that reveals too much too soon. Uatu the Watcher is going to die. Somebody is going to murder him and take his eyes. So him being one of the main character in Original Sin #0 is a bit of problem. It must now get people excited for this event after they already read the spoilers on a message board.

And this issue accomplishes that by making the story personal on multiple fronts. Most of these personal elements come from the perspective of Nova. His life has already been documented, but this issue takes some time to offer a brief refresher course on all things Sam Alexander. It won’t tell anyone anything they can’t find on Wikipedia, but it does help create a more personal tone for the story as a whole. That tone is somewhat lost at times in an overly generic battle against some killer robot pretending to be an Aztec God. It’s one of those concepts that’s as ridiculous as it sounds. But it does help show that Sam Alexander is still a teenage boy with a very immature mentality. Yet it’s this mentality that leads him to confront Uatu the Watcher for an overdue conversation.

That alone doesn’t sound too daunting, but a conversation with Uatu the Watcher isn’t that different from a conversation with a statue. For most of his history, Uatu has acted either as a narrator for readers or a silent witness who only occasionally makes his presence known. He fits the definition of a flat, static character to the letter and he’s supposed to be that way. He’s never presented as anything else. However, Nova’s conversation, as one-sided as it is at times, helps give the Watcher a depth that he was never supposed to have. He finally shows a little personality. It’s not much, but it’s better than a statue.

For a brief moment, Nova gets to see things from the Watchers perspective. He gets to see the breadth of the people and events he observes. He even gets to see the very mechanisms that allow the Watcher to observe the alternate worlds that make up Marvel’s colorful What If line. The meaning isn’t apparent at first and this is where the one-sided conversation gets a little complicated. For all his cosmic powers of observation, the Watcher is painfully inefficient at making his point. But he does eventually make it in a very meaningful way.

This meaning is only fully conveyed when Uatu reveals the history of the Watchers. He shows Nova what happened when his race, led by Uatu’s father, attempted to use their superior knowledge to assist a civilization. And for a time they did. That civilization flourished. But eventually, that civilization used the knowledge and technology given by the Watchers to destroy themselves. It devastates the Watchers so much that Uatu’s father proclaims that the Watchers will never interfere with the development of a civilization again. It essentially lays the foundation for the strict code of non-intervention that the Watchers must uphold. It’s no longer just an excuse. There’s a reason why Uatu only watches and it’s a pretty good reason.

It’s also a reason that has played out on a smaller scale in the real world. There’s a reason why advanced technology seems like magic to primitive minds. By not understanding technology, it’s difficult to appreciate it. By not appreciating this technology, it’s much easier to be misused. The Watchers are somewhat akin to whoever invented the ski mask. They had the best of intentions. Whether it’s helping a civilization achieve greatness or protecting peoples’ heads from bitter cold, these endeavors are noble on paper. But when their fruits are misused, the damage can be pretty bad. The burden for whoever invented the ski mask is probably hard enough, but the Watchers must deal with the burden of full blown genocide.

To further add to this burden, Uatu also reveals that no matter how many realities he uncovers, he doesn’t find any of them that show his father’s endeavor succeeding. It shows that the abuse and misuse of knowledge is akin to the law of gravity. He cannot escape it. And given the stated premise of Original Sin, it paints a more dire picture for all those involved. Nova only got a taste of what the Watcher sees and he never got a chance to misuse it. What will happen when someone has that chance?

That’s the daunting question that readers are left to ask at the end of Original Sin #0. While the details tended to drag and were sometimes obscured by Nova’s immaturity, the emotional stakes are definitely raised by this story. It may not be necessary in the overall Original Sin event, but it gives a great deal of emotional weight to the story. It’s like adding chocolate sauce to a hot fudge sundae. It may get lost in the mix, but it still improves the overall product.

Final Score: 7 out of 10

My New Ipad and the Infinite Future

Every so often, a major shift in the industry and society comes along that gets young people more excited than free samples at a pot dispensary and old people more anxious than the thought of a black president (okay, bad example). I don't consider myself a real tech-head. The top-of-the-line technology for me is anything that allows me to view porn more efficiently. For that reason, I look at the internet and modern computers in the same way Moses looked at the Ten Commandments. It's the technology of the future and the present. It permeates are lives, so much so that it's damn near impossible to escape it. For some conspiracy theorists and doomsayers, that's more than enough reason to carve a survival cave into the mountains and audition for spots in the next episode of National Geographic's Doomsday Preppers. For me, I say bring on the new world order! I'm ready to be a slave to the new system!

This past week, a good deal of hype and a fair amount of pants shitting surrounded the launch of Avengers vs. X-men (and NOT another prelude). I reviewed the comic and I gave it high marks and not because I was high myself. It was a genuinely quality comic that began what promises to be another major comic book blockbuster event. But we've had those events before. They've come, gone, trilled, and disappointed fans for decades. But Avengers vs. X-men brought something new to the table, something I didn't mention in my review because I wasn't drunk enough to include it. That, and I wanted to give it its own post so we can fully appreciate what it entails. It's called Infinite Comics and despite a name that would make most anal-retentive physicists cringe (think Sheldon Cooper of the Big Bang Theory), it is a new format for comics that has the potential to be infinitely awesome.

It came in conjunction with Avengers vs. X-men. Marvel has been building this up as sort of a new way of presenting comics, like the DVD extras for a movie but with less snooty producers pretending as though explosions are some sort of artistic vision and more actual story that ties into the main plot. I admit I didn't know what the hell these things would entail when I heard about it. I kept thinking, "Infinite comics? What the fuck is that and who the fuck drank the last bottle of vodka?!" Marvel was somewhat vague on the details, but once I bought it through Comixology the full awesome of Infinite Comics hit me like a shot of peyote. Only instead of seeing talking cats and dancing bears, I saw the next level of comic book awesome.

The Phoenix. Destroying the print industry and giving rise to digital awesome. Epic win!

Infinite Comics, in its simplest form, is a comic made specifically for the digital format and not the printed page. That may not sound like much, but considering how the very nature of comic books haven't changed since the fucking Great Depression it's an overhaul that's more overdue Wesley Snipe's back taxes. Printing comics on pages is charming and simple, but let's face in the internet age where people want to carry all that content in their pockets with their iphones and condoms that's just not as appealing anymore. Infinite comics uses a richer kind of artwork that doesn't involve just scanning shit like anyone with a decent scanner and citizenship of a country with shitty copyright laws can do. It makes for smoother transitions, animation-like progression, and a unique sort of flow for the story that you just can't put on a page. I really can't describe it without a few hits of LSD, but it's something that's new and has the potential to be exceedingly awesome.

The first Infinite Comics was fairly short, but it did tell an important part of the Avengers vs. X-men story. In the first issue, Nova came crashing to Earth to warn the Avengers that the Phoenix was coming like Peter North in a three-way. The Infinite Comics story added more depth and detail to this journey. It showed him flying through space, racing towards the Earth with the Phoenix following close behind like a stalker ex-girlfriend armed with a video camera and crazy glue. It was a lot of inner monologue followed by incredible action that felt less like a comic and more like visions from another world unfolding in progressing panels. If there was any flaw in it, it was mostly that the story itself was too damn short. But it's the first of it's kind and it was awesome enough to give the readers so many reasons to hope and so many crazy shit to imagine.

Infinite Comics marks the potential beginning of a new world of comics. Even hardcore fans have to understand that print media is dying faster than the Zimbabwe economy. Even I find it difficult to keep boxes upon boxes of comics stacked in my closet. More often than not, it's just another hiding place for my weed. Almost all my new comics come in digitally. And just this past weekend, I bought myself an ipad. That's right! I'm now the proud owner of one of the best inventions for comics in history.

Okay, third best.

With my new ipad and the format offered by Infinite Comics, there are any number of ways Marvel can develop this platform. They could add sound effects. Imagine reading an Infinite Comic where when Wolverine is about to decapitate Sabretooth (again), you actually hear a 'snikt.' They could add graphics and motions as well without going through the trouble or cost of a motion comic. The first issue made the story feel like more animated. Just think of how much more awesome it could be if real animation could be incorporated.

The possibilities...so awesome.

It's an exciting time to be a comic book fan. Marvel has opened the door to a new method of conveying the awesome that comics can present. Just this past year, comics became day-and-date digital. Now something hew has entered the fray. What could it mean for the future? Well if a part-time stoner and drunk like me can imagine such wondrous possibilities, I'm sure the well-paid creative minds at Marvel can come up with something much better. The revolution has begun! I've seen the future and it is infinite. Thank you, Marvel. Now DC, time to get your act together and become the Android to Marvel's Apple! Nuff said.

Avengers vs. X-men #1 - It's Here!

Quit counting to veins on your penis or the strands of hair on your cooch! The wait is finally over! Avengers vs. X-men is here! The beginning of a big comic event is like the emergence of a new strain of potent weed. That first bong it is the most important. If after you take a whiff of that sweet, succulent holy smoke your mind is awash in the kind of awesome that would make a speech by Al Gore entertaining, you know you've got something. That's not to say the first hit will determine how awesome the strain ends up being. Sometimes after a while, the strain loses it's potency or has some unpleasant side-effects. I liken certain strains to Fear Itself, an event that started off so well but fell flat at the end and fucked up my short term memory to the point where I went to the grocery store and forgot to put on my pants. Okay, so Fear Itself wasn't bad enough to make me do anything like that, but you get what I'm saying.

Avengers vs. X-men has been build up to a point where the hype almost becomes inane. This issue has had so many preludes that it Doc Brown himself would think the time-space continuum was unraveling a la Back to the Future 2. Some of them have been awesome, like X-Sanction. Others have been painfully lame, like Avengers vs. X-men #0. Some have been just so-so, like Children's Crusade and Point One. But they've all had their role. They've helped put the right pieces in place and granted, there are a lot of fucking pieces to this story. This shit goes all the way back to House of M, a story at a time when only one state allowed gays to get married. Fuck, has it really been that long? Or am I just high? Well whatever the reason, that event is what made mutants and endangered species and led to the emergence of Hope Summers (aka the most blatant Jean Grey ripoff since Madelyne Pryor and she was a fucking clone). Like other redheads with green eyes, Hope has shown the flares of the Phoenix Force. Now Avengers vs. X-men promises to finally pour rocket fuel on that flame and light a fire under the asses of every Marvel fan on the planet.

Officially, the event began with Avengers vs. X-men #0. As I made abundantly clear in my review, it was a shitty beginning. All it did was remind us of shit that was already established in other stories. It had some redeeming qualities and it probably will tie in with shit in later issues, but on it's own it wasn't very good. It was just another prelude on top of many. Well now we can finally ditch the fucking prelude title and get to the real meat of the story! It's like having to sit through the shitty plot in a porno before getting to the action. I think the collective dicks of every Marvel fan are ready for this and I'm ready to get hammered and review it!

Avengers vs. X-men #1 begins with yet another reminder that the Phoenix is on it's way. We've already known that shit since Point One, but just to emphasize that it's not fucking around it torches yet another hapless alien planet. Why? It's the fucking Phoenix Force! It doesn't need a reason other than maybe it's become just as pissed off about shitty replacement characters like Hope Summers.

 
While the cosmic parrot is on it's way, things on Earth are as oblivious as always. Then in a scene that's sure to get Fox News riled up in the post 9/11 world, Nova comes crashing down and doing some pretty amazing damage in the process. It forces the Avengers to assemble in their trademark catch phrase to control the damage. It's done in a pretty elaborate way as well. In a superhero comic, it seems pretty menial to do shit like prevent skyscrapers from collapsing and planes from crashing, but putting in that extra detail definitely helps even if some of it is needless.

Even if such details are needless on some levels, the destructive arrival of Nova helps give emphasis to the level of urgency. At this point, the Avengers don't know the Phoenix is coming. They're still not completely aware on some levels because Nova is so roughed up from his impact that he can only repeat what he said in Point One, which is "It's coming." That could mean a lot of things. It could mean a killer cosmic entity is on it's way. It could mean a horse is about to splooge on an illegal animal porn set. But the sheer destruction he caused with his arrival helps make clear to the Avengers that some cosmic level shit is about to go down. It also effectively ties in the events of Point One with this issue, which makes for the kind of seamless coherence that makes babies smile and Planned Parenthood workers cry.

This ominous warning for the Avengers wouldn't be so ominous for the X-men, who have been seeing signs of the Phoenix for quite some time thanks to a red-haired, green-eyed girl NOT named Jean Grey. That girls is Hope Summers, who the Avengers haven't really paid much attention to despite supposedly being the messiah an entire species. But she definitely has the attention of the X-men. After Avengers vs. X-men #0 when she claimed she was ready for the Phoenix, Cyclops decided it was time to start training her one-on-one. By training I mean he pretty much beats the crap out of her. It comes off as abuse that would get most teachers fired (except in Catholic schools). He keeps demanding that she train and dishes out punishment, some of which is pretty fucking unfair. At one point he says she can't use her powers, but he can and he takes full advantage of it. I'm not sure if this is training or just pent up frustration for seeing too many redheads get pussy boners for Wolverine.

Now this is a pretty fucked up scene that the anti-Cyclops crowd will probably jump on like Fox News jumps on every story about a cute blonde girl getting kidnapped. And they aren't entirely wrong. Cyclops is being a dick here. He's beating up a teenage girl that's supposed to be the mutant messiah and not being very nice about it. I'm tempted to do a little Cyclops bashing myself, but then a couple of brain cells that I haven't yet killed kick in and remind me of recent events. Both X-Sanction and Avengers vs. X-men #0 link to this moment. In X-Sanction, Cyclops saw for himself that Hope could manifest the Phoenix and use it to cure Cable of the techno-organic virus. Then in Avengers vs. X-men #0 she fucking blasted him when he was trying to be civil with her AND stole his jet pack! I'm sorry, but when a teenage girl steals your jet pack I'm pretty sure there's a special exception to the Geneva Convention's provisions on disciplining arrogant teenagers. In addition, this girl doesn't know shit about the Phoenix. Yet she thinks she's ready. Since she's someone Cyclops has put all his faith in, it's understandable that he wants to push her to make prove it. He's still a dick, but he's a dick with reason. There's a porno joke somewhere, but I'm enjoying seeing Hope get her ass kicked way too much to put it in writing.

Cyclops keeps attacking, demanding that she do better. She manages to land a few lucky blows, but like any arrogant teenager with only a miniscule willingness to learn she loses her cool and flares another round of Phoenix fire. Now perhaps this was by design. Perhaps this is what Cyclops was trying to do just to see if he could get Hope to show that flare that gave him such a boner when Jean Grey was still alive. Whatever his reason, it worked. Hope is doesn't just flash some Phoenix bling. She knocks Cyclops back and roughs him up in a way that helps balance out the excessive punishment he gave to her. See anti-Cyclops fans? There is a sense of justice in the Marvel universe. Now please keep the bitching and moaning to a minimum.

That flare, however, doesn't go ignored this time (and that's saying a lot since this shit has been flaring up since Second Coming). While Cyclops is testing everyone's stance on capital punishment to teenage girls, Captain America and Iron Man are informing the President of why he should issue an executive order for everyone to shit themselves. They give a brief overview of the Phoenix, explaining the bare basics of what it is. They were able to pick up the energy signature from Nova, who is now in a coma and out cold. Somehow, the presence of a teenage girl that looked and dressed just like Jean Grey wasn't enough. But while they're explaining why this cosmic entity is bad news, their sensors go off and they detect Hope's little temper tantrum on Utopia. So the Avengers leave the president to ponder the collapse of his sphincter while they recruit Wolverine from the Jean Grey Institute for help. Since the events of Schism leave him with little bromance with Cyclops, he joins with his Avengers buddies as they prepare to take on this cosmic parrot.

Now it's worth noting here that the overview of the Phoenix presented by the Avengers was extremely basic. It doesn't even begin to cover all the crazy stories surrounding the Phoenix. They skipped the clones, the Xorn/Magneto imposter, the fixing shit that doesn't work, the part about a fake Jean killing herself on the moon while the real Jean was in a cocoon in Jamaica Bay, and the events of Phoenix Endsong and Warsong. I get that it's more fucked up than Jenna Jameson shooting a porno at a circus, but it's too simple an explanation. I get they don't want to overwhelm the president, but they need to at least try to convey how fucked up this cosmic turkey is.

Whereas the Avengers are intent on stopping it, the X-men have other ideas. After they're done letting Hope cool off, Cyclops has a little chat with Magneto, Emma, Namor, and Colossus. The presence of the Phoenix Force is not to be taken lightly and it's fucked them up in so many ways every time it's come into their lives. However, Cyclops still feels like it's worth taking a risk to assume that the Phoenix is key to undoing the shit done by M-Day. He would be in a position to know. He married the last vessel for the Phoenix so he damn well better know her power as well as he knows Jean's pussy. Yet the notion of using the Phoenix to fix a reality-warping event doesn't sit well even with Magneto, who's usually all for flexing mutant powers like a giant dick. Some may see this as another example of Cyclops being a douche. I think he's not wrong to see the Phoenix as a potential source for rebirth rather than destruction. It's just what the mutant race needs, yet knowing what it did to his wife he should at least have some reservations. Especially if it means Emma reminding him about how she doesn't like redheads that attract cosmic forces because they have a tendency to want to kill her.

They don't get to argue for very long about how their method for using the Phoenix to kick start the mutant race. Captain America arrives on Utopia to confront Cyclops. It starts off civil at first, but it doesn't stay civil. Captain America makes clear that they need to protect the world from the Phoenix and to do that they need to take Hope into custody. Cyclops makes clear that he's not having it. Hope belongs on Utopia. Moreover, the Phoenix may need her to be the savior to the mutant race. Cap is being reasonable. Cyclops is reaffirming that he believes without question that Hope will save mutant kind. Granted, blind faith rarely leads to much good. Just ask any woman that lived under the Taliban. But he makes another good point in saying that the Avengers haven't really done shit for mutants since they became endangered. It's only now when they want to take away their best hope for salvation that they're actually giving a damn.

The tension is apparent. These are both men who are as dedicated as their are ballsy. They have to be when one of them is fucking Emma Frost. It reminds me somewhat of the argument between Cyclops and Wolverine during Schism. They didn't just start beating each other up. There was an honest debate that led to the divide. That debate wasn't as drawn out here, but given how many preludes this series had they can't say much more than they've already said. So when Captain America tells Cyclops that the Avengers taking Hope into custody wasn't a friendly request it happens. Cyclops fires the first shot in the battle between the Avengers vs. the X-men. NOW shit can start to get heavy!

Again, the anti-Cyclops crowd may use this scene to call him a dick again. They could argue he's jumped the gun and just went ape-shit on the Avengers when there was probably a chance that they could have worked together. Well, that might be valid if the shit in X-Sanction didn't happen. Remember that story that only ended a few weeks ago? In that story, Cable revealed to Cyclops that it was because the Avengers took Hope into custody that the whole fucking world got burnt to a crisp. So in addition to not wanting to give up the mutant messiah, he has an entire future to prevent. I know I'm just an impartial drunk here, but that shit is worth striking the first blow against Captain freakin' America.

But Captain America isn't naive enough to come without backup. He shows that he can be a dick as well. He didn't just bring some of his buddies to Utopia to make Cyclops a Godfather style offer. He brought the entire SHIELD Helicarrier with him, fully stocked with the Avengers. That's like showing up at a diplomatic meeting in a nuclear powered tank with a million man army behind you. It sends the wrong message and the X-men receive that message loud and clear. The battle between the X-men and the Avengers is set to begin. The battle lines have been drawn and the shit can finally go down. Unfortunately, we have to wait until the next issue to see some blood. Oh well! That's nothing a few shots of potent heroin can't fix!

So it's here, it's coming, and it's going to be messier than Peter North's bedspread. I admit I was pretty worried after the disappointed showing in Avengers vs. X-men #0. That small part of me that often tells me I can fly off bridges while stoned was also telling me that this event was going to fall flat on it's face like Ryan Leaf's NFL career. But that didn't happen. This issue didn't attempt to just jump right into the Avengers vs. X-men brawl, which is a good thing even if you were hoping to see four pages of Captain America and Cyclops beating the shit out of each other. This issue took time to tie in the events of Point One and establish the threat. Even readers that don't know shit about the Phoenix Force (although let's face it, if you know anything about Marvel or have an internet connection you have no excuse not to know why this cosmic parrot is bad news) can follow along.

The problem I see this issue creating, however, has to do with the rampant anti-Cyclops crowd out there. You know who you are. Don't bother whining at me. I can't help it if you hate somebody who is leader of his own country and is regularly sticking it to Emma Frost. He was portrayed as too much of a dick at times, but if you know what happened in X-Sanction or Avengers vs. X-men #0 you understand why he's being this harsh. The same can be said for his willingness to blast Captain America when he kindly yet menacingly asks him to hand over the mutant messiah that is supposed to be the last salvation for the mutant race. Is Cyclops still a dick? Yeah, he is to a point. However, there's a context here and I don't think that context was adequately revealed.

Perhaps that's part of what makes this issue extra special. It actually makes those preludes I complained about earlier more relevant. If you hadn't read about the events Cyclops and Hope were involved in during Avengers vs. X-men #0 or X-Sanction then you probably would just think Cyclops is being a massive dick towards Hope. If you haven't been following Hope's story since Second Coming, you wouldn't know what a volatile and immature brat she's been. This issue showed how all those events have led to a boiling point of sorts. Now it doesn't excuse for the poor quality of Avengers vs. X-men #0, but it does add some very important context that I know will be lost on some people. It actually gives a reason for Cyclops to do what he did with Hope and Captain America. It also gives Captain America a reason to do what he did in being about as diplomatic as a North Korean envoy. Those reasons are important and if some readers use this as an excuse to bitch and moan, then they have no excuse and I have no sympathy for them.

Avengers vs. X-men #1 brought for me equal amounts of thrills and relief. My heart could finally stop pounding in my chest out of worry that the poor showing in Avengers vs. X-men #0 was going to hurt Avengers vs. X-men #1 (or maybe that's just the meth). Marvel has overhyped big events before and this is by far the biggest event they've had since Civil War. This shit is going to unfold over the course of six months, 12 issues, and a fuck-ton of tie-ins. You couldn't get much bigger if you fueled it entirely with Donald Trump's ego. One issue in and everything is smooth so far. This issue was coherent, setting up both the Avengers and the X-men as adversaries while also showing that the threat posed by the Phoenix is something worth shitting your pants over. As far as first issue goes, this is a good template on how to do it right. Only minor characterization issues keep it from being perfect. That's why I give Avengers vs. X-men #1 a 4.5 out of 5. So the Phoenix is on it's way and the X-men and Avengers are going to beat the living shit out of each other in a desperate effort to do what they think will prevent them from becoming a giant cosmic bar-be-que. I've got my popcorn, my weed, and several bags of Doritos. I'm ready, motherfucker! Let's get ready to rumble and fight over a bratty redhead! Nuff said.