Thursday, September 12, 2013

Uncanny X-men #12 PREVIEW!

There are a great many mortal dangers in the Marvel universe that are right up there with being devoured by Galactus or crushed by Thanos. Dangers such as giving She-Hulk a bikini wax, stealing Wolverine's liquor, or just having red hair and green are everywhere. But another major danger is being on Maria Hill's bad side. Given how sensitive the Marvel Universe has become to fucking up the timeline, it's only logical that she would be extra pissed upon finding out that Beast has been doing just that. That puts him in almost as much danger in X-men Battle of the Atom.

Three parts in and so far X-men Battle of the Atom has delivered a variety of awesome more diverse than a Halloween party at the Playboy Mansion. After ditching the present and future X-men, O5 Cyclops and Jean Grey have now met up with Cyclops and his revolutionary team in the ruins of Utopia. At the same time, Maria Hill is catching up on the Beast's latest temporal fuck-up. And since the meth hasn't worn off, I've gathered some preview images from a couple of sites and offered it here on my humble blog. Now if only my skin would stop burning I might be able to enjoy it.


There's nothing all that telling here, other than Maria Hill entering the conflict in Battle of the Atom. It's not clear what role she'll play, but given that she has a serious pussy boner for throwing Cyclops in jail it makes sense that she gets involved. That and it finally gives O5 Jean and O5 Cyclops a chance to sit down with the guy that Beast claimed would cause a mutant genocide. It also puts O5 Jean in close proximity to Emma Frost, the woman who would eventually steal her husband after she dies the second time. Anyone with even a slight taste for lesbian porn should be turned on by that prospect. I'll certainly keep a bottle of lube handy when this issue comes out next week and I'll also be sure to review. My penis is already looking forward to it. Nuff said!

12 comments:

  1. Can't wait for this! Hope jean/xorn meets emma

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    1. I would LOVE to see that. But it would be pretty lopsided since Emma's powers are broken. A lopsided fight between two beautiful women isn't quite as hot.

      Jack

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  2. Pretty Sure Xavier's grandson is actually just Mystique and Wolverine's bastard child in disguise. The pill he took was probably some sublime like drug that gives him temporary psychic powers. I'm guessing, Bendis set up the whole Mystique taking Alison's spot thing, so that Maria Hill could send Dazzler out to take care of the X-men, and have Mystique run into her kid. Also, I'm going to go with conspiracy theory here and say that O5 Scott and Jean are going to do the nasty and produce Rachel.

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    1. I don't think Xavier's grandson is Mystique. I think he may just be a douche-bag. Xavier has shown a tendency to be a douche in the past. I think he would definitely pass that on. If Mystique's son does show up, I imagine she'll be happy to help them fuck with the X-men. lol As for O5 Jean and Scott making Rachel, Marvel comics isn't MTV. They're not ready to show teen sex just yet.

      Jack

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  3. Emma's giving it the ol' college try with those two. She's actually holding Jean's hand there briefly.

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    1. And I'm pretty sure that's how a lot of awesome lesbian porn starts out.

      Jack

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  4. My theory is that these mutants of the future are to change the decisions of the original 5 in the present, who drastically altered his personal life could not return to the past, Beast and Iceman curiously in his grotesque form is difficult to attribute an approximate age, Jean looks well preserved compared with Kitty Pryde, Cyclops no tracks and Warren. I guess Cyclops died and that caused Jean's obsession by returning them no matter whether to resort to unconventional methods.
    Jean refused his love, his feelings were not true Hank only allowed to approach for not accepting their fate and the apparent disappearance of Scott (dead or become a being without emotions) could not find anywhere else Summers unconditional love, having left their wedding invitation as a reminder of what should have been. But of course as they will make the right decisions will leave them in the present. I hope not.

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    1. Interesting theory, but a bit too elaborate. Trying to predict all the details about an event from Marvel is like trying predict what Charlie Sheen's next arrest will entail. It's damn near impossible to know all the details. You could be right in that certain decisions have been influenced by what the O5 do. It may come down to a fateful decision in the end, but I don't think Marvel will be that predictable.

      Jack

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  5. The moon SHOULD blow up just for the heck of it.

    Should teach Hank a lesson about screwing things up.

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    1. I normally don't condone planetary destruction, but for Hank McCoy's recent douche-baggery I'm willing to make an exception.

      Jack

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  6. These "crossovers" are a bit much and are derailing the flow of the books. If they aren't going to send the O5 back to where they came from, wtf is the point? After BOA we have Inhumanity, so it feels like the Mystique/Dazzler subplot is going to go into 2014 before we even seen why Mystique took her place. I agree with Hill that Beast keeps doing whatever the fuck he wants and no one even so much as smacks his wrist. Between the Phoenix Five, the O5 coming back, the storyline in Cable's X-force...can we just have a "down period" without all this time/future bullshit where things just happen NOW and aren't some big massive poorly executed thing where nothing really ever happens? Can't we have quality over quantity?

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    1. I don't get what your problem is. It's a fucking crossover event. They happen all the time. I know it fucks up the flow of things, but that's a small price to pay for this quality of awesome. Maybe you just need better drugs to help you deal with the disruptions. If you take the wrong ones, it can fuck shit up. Believe me, I know.

      Jack

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