Wolverine and the X-men #36 PREVIEW - Telling Hints and Epic Battles

It's a good sign when a comic book arc is so awesome that even the previews get the blood pumping and the panties soaked. That or it could be a bad batch of blow. I'm going to assume it's a little a both. X-men Battle of the Atom is nearing the halfway point and so far it has succeeded in telling an epic time travel story that doesn't suck and doesn't involve Michael J. Fox. The struggle between the past, present, and future X-men effectively encompasses all the right elements of what it means to be X-men. Going all the way back to the first issue 50 years ago, this story has embodied so much of what has made X-men awesome of the past few decades. However, I think even Jack Kirby himself would be a little anxious about fans looking forward to an issue that involves two beautiful women engaging in a psychic brawl. And the promise of that brawl is what should get everyone excited about Newsarama's preview for Wolverine and the X-men #36, which marks the fifth part in the event and the convergance of multiple clusterfucks.

Newsarama: Wolverine and the X-men #36 Preview

But it's not just the promise of "Emma Frost and Jean Grey: The Epic Rematch That Countless Male Fans and their Penises have been Waiting for" that gives the next issue its appeal. It's worth mentioning again to those who have good pot dealers that this is the halfway point. There's still a whole other half of comics to fill this event with awesome. So as important as the Jean/Emma rematch is, it is NOT the final showdown.

  

The preview doesn't reveal much about the battle between Emma and Jean Grey. But if Cyclops is right (and let's face it, this man is an expert in telepaths given the ones he's banged), then the battle between Xorna/Jean, Emma Frost, the Stepford Cuckoos, and O5 Jean Grey should be more epic than the final battle scene in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King and the Chitari invasion in the Avengers movie combined. We don't get to see it, but I'm pretty sure that's just Marvel being a cocktease and like my dick at a strip club, I don't think anyone minds waiting for something that promises to be so awesome. But there's something else in this preview that's worth noting.

It wasn't that long ago that Wolverine and Cyclops went beyond just scolding each other over who got to bang Jean Grey and beat the living shit out of one another. That battle was part of what made Schism such an epic battle and a major turning point for the X-men. It led to the beginning of the Jean Grey Institute and the beginning of the end for Utopia. And the main argument Wolverine made back then, which he repeats right here in this preview, is that kids shouldn't be thrust into battles like this. It's not an invalid point to make. It's like saying nobody should take a piss on a sleeping polar bear. It's not going to end well.

The problem is Wolverine is making this argument after he did the same fucking thing that Cyclops did. Just a few issues ago in All New X-men, he led the O5 into a battle against Hydra and Mystique. This isn't Toad or or some purse snatcher along Miami Beach. This is fucking Hydra and Mystique. He didn't have to drag them into that fight, but he did. And the O5 chose to be in that fight in the same way Cyclops's students chose to be part of his revolution. I know the Cyclops haters will cry bullshit, but I also feel compelled to point out that Cyclops let one of his students go home after he chose not to stay. That mutant was Fabio and he didn't try and stop him. Fabio only ended up coming back when he got screwed over by SHIELD in ways that would make the ACLU shit themselves. Yet Wolverine is still going to bust Cyclops's balls? I'm sorry, but he's losing his credibility faster than the Cleveland Browns lost their last game.

I like the effects Schism has had on the X-books, but those effects sort of lose their impact when one side of the schism is full of shit. I like Wolverine and I would prefer that he leave the hypocritical bullshit to the Dr. Dooms of the world. But part of the strength of Battle of the Atom has been a bitter struggle between the O5's desire to stay and fix the future and the X-men's desire to not fuck up the timeline. And this old argument isn't helping that. It's just making Wolverine look too much like a douche. I can only hope that the bonerific battle between Emma and Jean Grey makes up for it. Nuff said!