CBR X-POSITION: The X-Editors Answer One of My Questions

It has been a while since I was sober enough to submit some questions to CBR's weekly X-POSITION column. Don't get me wrong. I've had my share of questions and I read X-POSITION as regularly as I take a shit after eating an extra large spicy burrito from Taco Bell. And even when I submit questions, the decision to have them answered is at the mercy of the fine folks at CBR who are probably responsible enough to do most of their writing sober. But after a long period of time I just can't measure due to blackouts, one of my questions got asked and answered in a column featuring the editors to the X-books. Like seeing a puppy take a shit in the yard of that annoying neighbor who never mows their lawn, it's one of those little pleasures that make life more enjoyable.

CBR X-POSITION: All New X-Editors NOW!

MarvelMaster616 has a quick question about the relationship status of the X-Men.
Between what happened with Jean Grey and Beast and what might happen between Cyclops and X-23, what can you say about the future of the Cyclops/Jean relationship? Is Marvel looking to do to them what was also done to the Peter/Mary Jane relationship in Spider-Man?

White: Mary Jane? You mean Peter's former live-in girlfriend who he totally never married? 

Lowe: WONH WONH. The only thing Brian [Michael Bendis], Stuart [Immonen] and the rest of the "All-New X-Men" creators are trying to do is tell interesting stories that will take you all by surprise and get you talking and shocked and such.

That's not much of an answer. In fact, it's a dodge that's almost on the same level as Mitt Romney. My concerns are neither eased or worsened. Marvel's recent track record of just surprising and shocking fans is usually just code for pissing fans off. Because for reasons that I still don't understand, pissed off fans still buy these comics. It happened with Superior Spider-Man and I don't doubt it'll happen with the X-men comics. But at some point, pissed off fans have to get too pissed off about being pissed off. At least I hope that's what happens. I'm okay with being shocked and surprised. But if I want to get pissed off, I'll re-watch the Soprano's finale. I don't need to feel that in my comics. So whatever shocking and surprising shit Marvel has in store, I hope they're smart enough to do it for the right reasons in the right way.

This could be so right and so wrong in so many ways.

I know that's wishful thinking, especially for a drunk. I can only take comfort in the knowledge that Marvel never likes to fuck shit up too much before reverting it back to a certain status quo. A quick fix is just a deal with Mephisto away. Nuff said!

C2E2: X-men Panel Announcements - Wolverine and Battle of the Atom

I liken Marvel and DC as being the only two massage parlors in town. They both offer the possibility of happy endings, but it's very rare that they actually deliver. But because there's no other game in town and there's no other way to get that elusive happy ending, we keep coming back in hopes that our overly generous tips will one day get us what we want. And more often than not, we're disappointed.

Now to be fair, DC Comics has been much more willing to get dirty and work the shaft with their events compared to Marvel. They actually have had a number of events that end on some happy note. It's usually not so nice that it would make it into a Mr. Rogers rerun, but at the very least you won't have to up the dosage of your Prozac prescription. For Marvel, they must have a fuckton of stock in pharmaceutical companies because most of their events end with someone being killed, screwed over, and a little of both. Events like House of M, Civil War, Fear Itself, and Avengers vs. X-men all have one thing in common. Someone usually has to die and/or get screwed over for it to be a true Marvel ending.

For a jaded drunk like me, that's no big deal. But after a while, shit gets old. Marvel has been essentially copying and pasting a lot of old tactics lately, from time travel to big media-hyped deaths. Yet they somehow call themselves the House of Ideas. I think that's grounds for Webster's Dictionary to sue, but I'm not a lawyer so I'll only assume someone is sending a few judges a steady stream of blow and hookers. And yet guys like me keep coming back for more because as shitty as these events are at times, there are some pretty awesome gems in between like Schism, All New X-men, Uncanny X-men, and Uncanny X-Force. It may not give your dick all the attention it wants, but it's worth it.

That brings us to Marvel's latest batch of announcements at C2E2 this past weekend. It has been teased for a while that Marvel will be doing something to celebrate the X-men's 50th anniversary. I had planned to hire a few strippers, a midget, and some guys I met at a gay bar for a house party in Miami complete with pools of booze and cocaine. But Marvel has their own plans and here's what they announced, courtesy of CBR:

CBR: Marvel's X-men Panel

Marvel Director of Communications Arune Singh led the roundtable talk with "X-Men" writer Brian Wood, "Wolverine" writer Paul Cornell, Editors Jordan White and Tom Brevoort, "Wolverine & The X-Men" artist Ramon Perez, "Venom" artist Declan Shalvey, colorist Jordie Bellaire and "Uncanny Avengers" writer Rick Remender.

The panel started talking about "Uncanny Avengers" upcoming arc focusing on "Four Deaths" in the form of resurrected characters like Banshee, Sentry, Grim Reaper and Daken. The Apocalypse twins born of Archangel and Pestilance who were raised in the future by Kang raise the four for their own purposes. "What the Apocalypse twins have done is create the Four Horsemen of Death...this sounds like I'm sitting in my house playing D&D by myself," he joked. "Each one of them have context with our cast. You're going to see a big Sentry/Thor knockdown fight."

White teased incoming strife in "All-New X-Men" as Mystique and Lady Mastermind work behind the scenes to build a group against the time-dispalced original X-Men. Meanwhile in "Uncanny X-Men," young Warren Worthington has joined Cyclops' team, but the real question moving forward is can Magneto be trusted with the team?

"Wolverine & The X-Men" will flash to the future in May's issue #29. Perez announced that he'll be leaving the book after the issue. "I got to draw the school about 50 years in the future with a million and one characters," he said. "Wolverine looks kind of cool with a beard...you get to see what kids make it and what kids don't make it in the future. It is an alternate future, though," he said leaving the story possibilities open. The artist said he'll probably stick with the X-Men line in his future work before he and White noted that issue #29 will see a character defect to the Hellfire Club.

As for Wood's "X-Men," the writer said, "Who's tired of waiting for this book?" to applause. He then announced that a seventh, as of yet unseen cast member on the book will join the book on the very last page of issue #1.

The panel then announced that for September's 50th Anniversary of the franchise, Marvel will publish a new crossover event called "X-Men: Battle of The Atom" which has been put together by Brian Michael Bendis, Jason Aaron and Brian Wood as all of their books will play a part in the ten-part story. It will launch with a "Battle of the Aton" #1 issue drawn by Frank Cho before running in "Uncanny X-Men" #12-13, "All-New X-Men" #16-17, "Wolverine & The X-Men" #36-37, "X-Men" # 5-6 and then wrapping in "X-Men: Battle of The Atom" #2.

The story adds some new players to the Cyclops/Wolverine divide when a group of X-Men from the future land in the present including Kate Pryde, Molly Hayes, Deadpool, Lady Xorn, a futuristically mutated Beast and something called "Ice-Thing" – all designed by Arthur Adams.

The next announcement on the slate was a new story called "Killable" starting in "Wolverine" #7 in August by continuing team of Cornell and Alan Davis. The story will reveal how Wolverine can be killed, and when Sabertooth learns the secret, he gathers a cabal of killers to come after Logan. "It's a dirty, great revenge story with Sabertooth and a number of the great X-Men villains who decide that because of something that's about to happen, Wolverine is about to become killable...leading to a kind of Western-style revenge story," the writer said. "We're leading him to the shadow of the valley of death with Kitty Pryde by his side."

The panel promised that by the end of the story, Wolverine would be fundamentally changed – a story beat Singh said would be all over the national media. There were a number of jokes on the panel about that alongside the idea that fans should shower Cornell with love now as they're going to hate him when "Killable" wraps.

"Deadpool" kicks a new story called "The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly" in issue #15 by Gerry Duggan, Brian Posehn and Shalvey as new interior artist. The story digs into Deadpool's past where Wade teams with former "Weapon Plus" comrades Captain America and Wolverine. "I'll be honest, I'm a really, really big Wolverine fan," Shalvey said of the gig. "It's a slightly darker story...which really pulled me in." Bellaire added that she hated Deadpool for years after a Deadpool cosplayer was rude to her at a show years before, but working on this book has brought her back around to the character.

The panel then announced that "X-Factor's" September issue will be its last. The move is writer Peter David's choice as he found a natural endpoint of his story. "Right now they're in the middle of the 'Hell On Earth War' arc which really wraps up a lot of the supernatural stories that have been running through the arc," White explained saying that the very final issues will focus on the character relationships in the book including Polaris' relationship with Quicksilver after she accepts that she is, in fact, Magneto's daughter. They then showed a brief video David recorded on the end of the series which has to be seen to get the full effect of the humor, but the writer did say he had another Marvel project in the works.

White then took out his ukulele and led the audience in a "sing along" of the theme from the '90s "X-Men" animated series.

The panel opened up to fan questions, starting with a question as to whether Marvel had any say in how the new "X-Men: Days of Future Past" movie was turning out. Brevoort explained that some higher ups at Marvel were in the loop and could give some notes, but unlike Marvel Studios films, the X-Men franchise is really solely in the control of the team at 20th Century Fox. Similarly, a fan asked after the possibility of more X-Men Legos to which the panel said there may be more sets coming in September.

Wood told a fan that his "X-Men" book would start as a self-contained story and then jump write into the big "Battle of the Atom" event. After that, he'll find a better mix of his own concerns and story beats that play off the events in some of the other X-books.

A fan scoping images online as the panel went asked after another cast member of the "Battle of the Atom" event wondering if Wolverine and Mystique would have a daughter in the future. The question got a "No comment."

Sentry's choice as a Horseman of Death came up, and Remender said the Apocalypse twins have been picking team members based on what they've seen in the future, and what they've seen necessitates certain characters. "We played with Ares as an option, and after going back and forth on it, I went with the Sentry because there was...not untapped potential, but I had some ideas for him," the writer said, adding that it also worked thematically for the idea of a mix of X-Men and Avengers concerns in the book and specifically to lead to the Thor/Sentry rematch. Brevoort said he argued for Ares, but he ceded to Remender's choice in the end.

A fan asked after resurrections of characters might happen in "Battle of the Atom" – particularly Nightcrawler and Jean Grey. The panel took the temperature on the room for either return before declining to comment in any specific fashion.

Wood said that other female characters from the X-Franchise like Pixie could possibly show up in the long term plans for his "X-Men" title, but at the start he wants to get the core cast established strongly.

See those parts I bolded? Well those aren't just the parts that led me to take a few extra shots of tequila. Those are the parts of the announcement that prove my earlier points about Marvel being a shitty massage parlor.

First off, there's time travel. Oh Odin have mercy, there's even more time travel. First we had the Original Five X-men come from the past. Now we've got another team coming in from the future, mostly likely to inform the X-men that they once again fucked up and the world is a dystopian wasteland of killer robots, mutant concentration camps, and Nazi cos-players. Gee, where the fuck have we heard that before? And aren't they making a movie with the same premise? If any of these questions crossed your mind, you need better weed.

Given what's taken place in Age of Ultron right now, Marvel isn't just fucking with the space time continuum. They're drugging Father Time, date raping him, and carving dicks on his face with an ice pick. I know Marvel does a lot of time travel shit, but at some point you gotta give Einstein a chance to stop rolling over in his grave. I'm not saying this event can't be good. Hell, I'll be the first in line to read and review it on my blog with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of lube just in case. But some new ideas wouldn't hurt.

At the very least, it looks like one of the new characters from the future that was teased involves someone that may or may not be proof that Wolverine and Mystique eventually bone again. It's hard to imagine the circumstances where these two would want to get busy in the current set of circumstances, but that doesn't mean I won't be jerking off to it later.

Smut fanfiction writers, you know you want to show how Mystique and Wolverine make this!

Then there's the announcement that will probably kill my boner. It's yet another tease that Marvel is killing yet another big name character. If ever there was a universal trigger to make every comic book fan erupt in a volcano of bitching and moaning, killing a big name character would be it. And who is bigger than fucking Wolverine? The guy has yet another movie coming out after the last one sucked so bad that the word Barakapool is now considered a synonym for comic book movies that suck elephant balls. And now Marvel wants to kill him?

They don't say outright that he's dying, but it does fall perfectly in line with a rumor that Bleeding Cool ran earlier this year that I reported on that said Wolverine would die in 2014. The man is going to lose his healing factor and his worst enemies are going to take advantage of it. How else can this shit end?

We've seen it with Johnny Storm of the Fantastic Four, Charles Xavier in Avengers vs. X-men, and Peter Parker in Ultimate Spider-Man. Killing big name characters draws attention and for some reason it gets fans to fork over their money. I've said it time and again on this blog. The only reason Marvel keeps doing shit like this is because it sells. If this shit didn't sell, Marvel would stop and try to figure out another way to get us to give them our hard-earned money. But it hasn't stopped working. We fanboys are like perpetually PMSing teenage girls and Marvel are the ones dishing out the Midol and chocolate. And we keep taking it like the gullible bitches we are. It's not Marvel's fault. It's ours. And until we understand that (and we won't anytime soon), we'll keep getting fed shit like this and we'll keep gobbling it down.

He's gonna die without knowing how Jean Grey's breasts feel. Poor bastard.

So between time travel and major deaths, the future of X-men looks both promising and infuriating. Yet the high quality of books like Uncanny X-men and All New X-men as well as upcoming books like Brian Wood's all-female X-men give me hope that I'll still have plenty of reviews to do on this blog. And unless you're a Nightcrawler fan or a fan of Peter David's X-Factor, you should have plenty to look forward to. But if you're still holding out for a possible happy ending, keep your lube and porno handy. Because I don't think Marvel is going to deliver once again. Nuff said!

Beast Update: Marvel Confirms Cat-Beast is Gone for Good!

I know I've belabored this point more than Glenn Beck belabors Nazi comparisons, but I feel the need to throw in one last detail to Beast's new look, as was revealed in All New X-men #5. It's not enough that he finally has ditched the piss poor cat-Beast look that set Thundercats cos-playing back a decade. It only counts if it lasts. Well in CBR's weekly Axel-In-Charge column, Marvel Editor-in-Chief Axel Alonso gave us confirmation that they're not going to One More Day this shit!

Axel In Charge: The Marvel U's "Cosmic" 2013

Let me ask you about something Brian did this past week with Stuart Immonen -- redesign the of Beast in "All-New X-Men." This has got to be one of the top message board and convention topics I've seen over the past ten years: do you love or hate cat-Beast. How did you guys decide to finally change that up?

Alonso: It come as no surprise to us that this has become a hotly debated topic amongst fans -- because it was hotly debated amongst us!

[X-Men Group Editor] Nick Lowe absorbed a lot of body punches for his strident defense of "Cat Beast" at two editorial summits! [Laughs] Ultimately, Beast's redesign made sense in the context of Brian's story, so we did it.

And can we assume that this is status quo for a while going forward? Even if people complain as much as they did about the cat design?

Alonso: Yeah, it's status quo.

So there you have it! Cat Beast is gone! Rest in Pieces Cat Beast! We never liked you. Nuff said!

CBR: Axel-In-Charge - My Question Asked!

Like most fanboys with too much free time and a drinking problem, I often like to throw random questions at Marvel, DC, and pretty much anyone who will listen and not assume I'm as psychotic as I sound. Most of the time, they don't get answered. To be fair, most of the time they involve questions about Emma Frost's boob size, Jean Grey's butt, Psylocke's legs, and Cyclops's penis (it's not gay if it's the same penis that parties in Emma Frost). But every so often, I will ask a serious question. And every so often, the fine folks at Marvel and sites like Comic Book Resources are generous enough to answer. While I may give them plenty of shit on this blog, they're still the kind of guys and gals I would gladly buy a round of beer and a few lines of blow.

Usually, not a lot of questions get asked in Axel Alonso's weekly Axel-In-Charge column. So when I ask a question, the odds of it getting asked are about the same as not getting kicked in the balls after pretending to be a door-to-door gynecologist at a sorority house. My question was a simple pry for more info on the upcoming Wolverine MAX line. I was going to ask if there was a chance that they would depict Wolverine's penis, but I decided to keep it tame. That and the weed wore off.

CBR: Axel-In-Charge


For fan questions this week, I thought we'd take things in a completely different direction by zeroing in on a corner of the Marvel U near and dear to you: the MAX line. First up MarvelMaster616 stopped by to ask, "First off, I want to say I'm a big fan of the MAX series and I'm glad that Wolverine is finally getting the MAX treatment. Can you tell us how long this series will run? What else can we expect from the MAX series in the future?"

Alonso: "Wolverine MAX" is a 5-issue limited series written by crime novelist Jason Starr and illustrated by Roland Boschi and Connor Willumsen, with covers by the incomparable Jock. I'm super-excited about this series and can't wait for you guys to read it.

He didn't reveal too much and I shouldn't expect him to. I'm sure if they did have plans for the MAX line and all the exposed nipples they offer, they wouldn't reveal it to a drunk with a blog. But just acknowledging my existence goes a long ways. In a world where the front page is dominated by stories of stuff that comes out of Snookie's vagina, that's the best we can hope for. Nuff said!

CBR X-POSITION: X-Editors - My Questions Asked and (Mostly) Answered

I've always suspected that the big wigs at Marvel get way too many kicks out of the power they have over legions of fanboys like myself. At some point I'm sure they stop and think "Gee, I can legally profit off the awesome of these characters and mold them in my own vision. Damn, that's cool!" There are times when they use that power responsibly. There are times when they abuse it with the ferocity of hungry lion in a pack of wounded zebras. But lately, they've been doing a lot of shit right so for that I raise my glass and drink to their contributions. Keeping in mind, of course, that I drink to damn near anything.

Whenever the editors (you know, the ones with the REAL authority at Marvel), come out from their secret underground base built that's probably nestled somewhere in the Alps it's a big deal. Especially when a huge event like Avengers vs. X-men is on the horizon. Pretty much everyone at Marvel won't shut up about it and why would they? They're pitting the Avengers against the X-men while the freakin' Phoenix Force is on it's way to cook them like a pound of bacon in an Epic Mealtime video. It's led to all sorts of speculation and what not. So for this week's X-POSITION column, the X-Editors took time to further tempt us X-men fans into parting with our money and part of our souls.

CBR X-POSITION: X-men Editors

As any responsible drunk, I took some time between hangovers and binges to write a few questions for the find folk putting together this epic event. Not all of them were asked, but the fine folk at CBR were nice enough to ask the important ones. This is what they said.

MarvelMaster616 is next, and he begins our descent into the world of queries surrounding "Avengers vs. X-Men."


1) I've really been enjoying Jeph Loeb's work on "Avengers: X-Sanction." Can you talk about how the events of this story will fit into what happens in "Avengers vs. X-Men" and the books preceding it?


2) It's already been established that the Phoenix Force will be a big part of "Avengers vs. X-Men." However, there's been no mention whatsoever of Jean Grey. If I recall, Jean Grey supposedly merged fully with the Phoenix Force during the events of "Phoenix -- Endsong," yet she's been utterly divorced from the Phoenix Force as it has interacted with Hope, the Cuckoos, and Rachel Grey. When did the Phoenix Force become completely separate from Jean Grey?


3) In one of the covers to "Avengers vs. X-Men," Wolverine looks torn between fighting alongside the Avengers and the X-Men. What can we expect from him as the conflict unfolds?


Old chum, MarvelMaster616! Have you lost weight? You look terrific! Anyway, let's answer your queries!


1) "Avengers: X-Sanction" will have no effect on the books preceding AvX (as it's one of them and isn't finished yet), but it will have big effects on AvX itself. That will become way more clear when you've seen issues #3 and #4.


2) You are correct that there has been no mention of Jean Grey leading up to AvX. Read into that however you would like. Can't say much more than that, I'm afraid.


3) That's another question I can't say too much about without spoiling things. But the gravitational pull between the A and X will weigh heavily on Wolverine. You'll see this in AvX #1, "Wolverine and the X-Men" #9 and "New Avengers" #24.

I'm not sure if it's a good sign that the X-crew recognize my drunken ramblings or not. I'm also not even sure if Nick Lowe was just screwing with me. It may be a little of both since I doubt he reads this blog. But he's always been among the more eccentric members of the Marvel crew so I take some of his words with a grain of salt. But at least he made an effort.

The first question about X-Sanction was poorly worded on my part. I probably shouldn't have used the words 'preceeding.' I meant to ask whether X-Sanction would effect any other books besides Avengers vs. X-men. But whether he intended to or not, he may have already answered it in stating that it would affect the event itself. If I can take that at face value (and I'm never sure with Nick Lowe), that means that the outcome of X-Sanction probably won't be felt in other X-books until Avengers vs. X-men kicks in. So I got my answer there.

I didn't expect him to spoil the ongoing conflict between Wolverine's hatred of Cyclops, his membership to the Avengers, and which side he takes. But I always appreciate it when someone actually gives me issues to look forward to so that I at least know when I get my answer. It's better than Tom Brevoort just saying "wait and see" on his Formspring account. That shit just gets old after a while. So I appreciate that.

Where things get fuzzy though is with the Jean Grey question. And honestly, is that surprising? Everyone at Marvel has been allergic to Jean Grey lately. That's understandable when there isn't a rip-off character that looks just like her in Hope Summers running around and when the Phoenix Force isn't on it's way to broil the Earth. Unfortunately, this isn't the case. Despite being dead for nearly a decade, Jean Grey still comes up in pretty much every major interview about the future of X-men. Yet Marvel is trying much harder than usual to avoid addressing her on every level. Some may see that as a sign that she's going to play a part in this event. I interpret more as an "if we ignore it long enough then maybe it'll go away." It doesn't work with cockroaches so I don't see why it would work with Jean Grey. This begs the question as to why Jean hasn't been mentioned. Forget for a moment that Hope Summers looks just like her, adopted her dress sense, and was raised by what is technically her biological son. When the fucking Phoenix Force is involved, Jean Grey is usually not far behind. Even in shitty stories like Phoenix Warsong, she's at least mentioned at times. None of that shit has happened with Avengers vs. X-men. This may or may not be Jean's triumphant and overdue return. Or it may be the event the finally separates her fully from the Phoenix Force and entrenches Hope as her replacement. I'm personally inclined to believe the latter given Marvel's utter revulsion to bring Jean back while bringing characters like Sabretooth back. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm not getting my hopes up for Jean's return. There have just been too many false teases for it to have any real meaning.

I'm still excited about Avengers vs. X-men. I feel it's going to be the biggest event since the invention of whiskey. But if you're a Jean Grey fan and are banking on this to be her big comeback, I would caution you to tie your ass to a tree and hold on because when that rug gets pulled out from under you it'll be a hell of a fall. Other than that, this has all the necessary potential to be the biggest event in a decade. The onus is on Marvel to blow our minds and I've got the paper towels and windex ready. Nuff said!

CBR X-POSITION: Kieron Gillen - My Questions and Uncanny Hints

I know it's been a while since I've mentioned CBR's weekly X-POSITION column. I imagine the fine folks at Comic Book Resources are having just as tough a time working off the holiday eggnog as I am. It was only yesterday that I could shit without evoking several deities for strength. But 2011 is over. 2012 is in full swing and while we're not obsessing over the Maya Doomsday Prophecy, we'll have plenty of awesome comics to read. The big story that's going to have everybody's dick hard enough to club baby seals with is definitely Avengers vs. X-men. Marvel has already been releasing teaser after teaser for this thing. I get it. It's going to be big, insane, and involve the Phoenix Force. I don't need to be reminded that I'm going to buy it.

It also helps that the current X-books have been pretty damn awesome without having to beat the shit out of the Avengers. Uncanny X-men is one of those gems. Ever since Kieron Gillen took over, the series has reached new heights of awesome that would leave weaker fanboys lightheaded and with a nasty case of vertigo. His first arc introduced Sinister and the Celestials to Cyclops's new Extinction Team, while blowing Emma Frost's arm off in the process. He followed that up with a one-shot issue about the Phalanx that was awesome in a way that didn't need a big ass event to leave an impact. The man is definitely firing on all cylinders so CBR has every reason to give him an X-POSITION.

CBR: X-POSITION - Kieron Gillen

As usual, I make sure I'm sober enough to ask a few questions. Between Avengers vs. X-men and the recent events in Uncanny, I have more than my share. And being the generous folk they are, CBR and Kieron Gillen were nice enough to answer a few.

MarvelMaster616 would probably like the previous answer, but he'd also like to hear about motivations...


1) First off, great job on "Uncanny X-Men" #4. It was a deep, heartfelt issue that also connected with Sinister's plans. Can you talk a bit about what he's doing and why he may be doing it?


Thank you. Regarding what Sinister is up to -- the main theme of him previously has been the Pokemon-catching-them-all-esque-ness of gene hunting. He basically is someone who viewed the world as lab material. By showing him get his hive mind from the Phalanx I make it clear that he viewed everything -- not just mutants -- like this. It's just how he rolls. He sees the world as a Petri dish, a butcher's window or a dissection table. He's perhaps the most entitled man in the Marvel Universe.


What's he doing now? Well, the clues are there to speculate what he's doing now. He's talked about upping his game to match the X-Men's new Extinction team. It's clear that he has a specific interest in Hope -- and having him be the person to finally drop the "P" word at her is probably problematic. And... oh, that's all you're getting. Except that you'll get more in Uncanny's "AvX" issues.


As I said earlier, Sinister's a schemer. Part of my first arc was both tying off his previous schemes and giving an answer... and then starting another one. It wouldn't be a Sinister plot if you weren't wondering "What is he up to?" for half of it.


2) It's been argued on message boards that Cyclops has become a lot like Magneto. His Extinction team evokes both fear and respect for mutants. How close would you say Cyclops is to being like Magneto? At what point would you say the similarities become too egregious?


I think his current position is that he's willing to pretend to be more like Magneto to get what he wants -- which is no one to fight and kill each other. It's a specific tactic for a specific situation for a specific timeframe. From Cyclops' position, it's a case of keeping mutants alive until Hope does whatever Messiah-y things she's born to do -- if embracing the fact they are feared is a short-term compromise he thinks is the best solution. Cyclops is synthesizing various philosophies. There may be more Magneto in there than previous, but it's not the dominant strand by any means.


And to state the obvious: Magneto never formed a super-team to protect the world.


3) I'm sure you've been keeping up with James Asmus' "Generation Hope." In a recent issue, Hope and the Lights "rescued" Sebastian Shaw and brought him back to Utopia. Cyclops certainly wasn't happy about this. Can you clarify when this takes place in the timeline with Uncanny X-Men? How will it affect events and character relationships?


I think you should wait until that story's over to really discuss those kind of elements. Until James has resolved stuff, I fear I'll step on his story.


4) While on the same subject, Emma kept Shaw a secret from Cyclops despite their promise in "X-Men: The Confession" to have no more secrets. Now that she seems to have gone back on this promise, how will that affect her relationship with Cyclops?


Once again, I'll nod at the previous answer. But, yes, this is clearly a tricky one. And there's things shaking up Scott and Emma's relationships soon enough over in 'Uncanny' anyway.

Many X-men writers handle these columns differently. I'm not convinced that some don't answer these questions sober. But Kieron Gillen always displays class in interviews. It's refreshing to know that a writer of a big time comic takes his shit seriously. I know that may not sound like much, but it goes a long way in ensuring that comics stay awesome.

His explanation about Cyclops being too Magneto-like actually adds some needed context because a lot of people on message boards have been bitching lately that he's become too much of a dictator. The sad part is they're not entirely wrong in their bitching. He certainly has taken on the mold of a Magneto type character with his willingness to make humanity shit themselves whenever they walk down the street. But there is purpose behind it. There are circumstances involved and like anyone whose memory has been bombed by booze and weed, those circumstances are easy to forget.

But on more pressing issues, I'm glad someone finally mantioned the P-word in the comics. Normally the P-word to me is an impromtu prostate exam. But Phoenix is just as bad on some levels (but not all if you know my doctor). It makes sense that someone as twisted as Sinister would bring it up and he seems to be preparing for it. Gillen has given Sinister some added charm to his already twisted persona and now that he's his own army, that's something that even the Extinction team should have problems with. If that little girl with red hair, green eyes, and a fiery disposition that isn't Jean Grey gets too moody, that'll only make it worse.

And I know I frequently rant about Marvel's apparant unwillingness to do anything with the Cyclops/Emma relationship, but I feel a strange sense of hope when Gillen says that it will be addressed soon enough. I hope he does more with it than Matt Fraction, who only used conflict to get these two in bed. It was less a relationship and more an extended episode of Two and a Half Men (the pre-Kutcher saga). Gillen has already shown a willingness to dig deeper with the characters than most writers who have graced the pages of Uncanny. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt in handling the ever frustrating relatinship issues of Cyclops and Emma Frost.

Overall, Gillen has done more than enough to earn the confidence of every Uncanny X-men fan that ever lived. Sure, it's a book that set the bar impossibly high with talent like Chris Claremont. But that doesn't mean guys like Gillen can't still kick ass with it and after just four issues into the relaunch, my ass is as tender as an overmarinated flank steak. Nuff said!

CBR: X-POSITION - Teasing By The Big Bosses

I try to be an active comic book fan in the same way I try to be a competent drunk. That means I don't pass up opportunities to express my interest in the upcoming events of my favorite comics in the same way I don't pass up a chance to get shit faced on a Friday night. The Marvel big wigs (along with every competent comic writer for that matter) usually play their shit pretty tight to the chest. I'm convinced that they all go through torture endurance training in a Russian gulag to condition themselves to never give away spoilers until the time is right to generate sufficient internet buzz. This seems to happen every other Tuesday, but like the retarded lab rat on the exercise wheel we fanboys like to think we're getting somewhere.

The X-POSITION columns by Comic Book Resources are always a treat. They're like a box of imported Swiss chocolate for X-men fans. Every week or so the find folk at Marvel take time out of their busy schedule of crafting awesome comics and oogling pictures of sexy cosplayers to throw us fans a bone. Granted, that bone rarely has any meat on it, but it's better than being strangled with a choke chain and sold to Michael Vick's old dog fighting buddies. This time the top guns of the X-books saw fit to throw us feeble fans a bone. Nick Lowe, Daniel Ketchum, and Jordan White teamed up make X-men fans salivate like Eric Cartman outside a KFC. With the recent events of Schism and Wolverine and the X-men, they have a lot to work with.


CBR: X-POSITION - X-Editors

As always, I sent my share of questions to the fine folk at CBR in the vain hopes that the X-editors would cast pity on my drunken soul and answer them. They seemed to be in a good enough mood so they did so with their usual coyness and teasing. Now I may be a drunk, but I'm under no illusions. I know they're not going to give shit away before they have a chance to make big bucks and tempt more fans like a stripper offering discounts on a Dirty Diana. But I like to know that it's on their radar.


Next up, we've got a round of questions from MarvelMaster616:

1) Now that Wolverine is running a school, how will he still manage X-Force? Wouldn't running a team like that hurt his credibility as a leader like it did with Cyclops?

2) This may have been discussed elsewhere, but what role is Charles Xavier going to play in this new era of X-Men? We saw him make an appearance in “Wolverine and the X-Men” #1. Where else can we expect to see him?

3) It was recently revealed that the first arc of James Asmus' run on “Generation Hope” would involve Sebastian Shaw. Emma Frost went to great lengths to conceal Shaw, lying to both Namor and Cyclops. Can you talk about how this will or won't play into future stories in this book?

4) The "It's Coming" teaser features (what we assume is) a Phoenix. Given all the Phoenix hints we've seen from Hope Summers, what can we expect from the "city in Arizona" as Cyclops called it?

Lowe: YO YO YO, MarvelMaster616! Lots of questions, but then again, you always are quite inquisitive!

1) You will have to read UNCANNY X-FORCE #19 and WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN #4 to answer the question as to how Wolverine justifies his two lives. 

White: I would also argue that I am not sure running X-Force DID hurt Cyclops’ credibility as a leader. It seems to have CEMENTED it. Exactly ONE X-Man left the team over the subject, and none of the others even so much as called for his resignation as team leader. If anything, I would say it made him seem like a more serious leader who makes the hard choices that others are too weak to handle. Whether or not that is a GOOD thing…well, your mileage may vary.

Lowe: 2) Professor X still has his hands full with his son Legion, so he’s not going to have a big role on either side of the Schism.

3) The Emma/Shaw/Namor thing is a HUGE part of his upcoming role in GENERATION HOPE.

4) That teaser is going to be VERY important to our publishing of next year, but that’s about all I can say. Other than CHECK OUT THE "POINT ONE" ANTHOLOGY THIS WEEK!

The X-editors are as polite and delightfully demented as I expected. It doesn't bother me that I don't get a direct answer, but it certainly is a thrill when they give me something to look forward to. Lowe was actually specific this time, citing Uncanny X-Force #19 and Wolverine and the X-men #4. Now I was probably going to get those books anyways, but knowing that they can answer the burning question of how the fuck Wolverine can run a school by day and a kill squad by night makes them all the more awesome. So I'll etch another reminder in my forehead to remind me to get those books and read them with the same scrutiny that Thor fans give Natalie Portman's ass.

However, I do have to disagree with White. I think running X-Force did hurt Cyclops in a number of ways. The end of Second Coming showed this pretty clearly when Storm, Wolverine, and some of the New Mutants called bullshit. Yeah, they didn't leave him or ask him to step down, but seriously what the fuck was the alternative? Let Magneto or Emma Frost run things? They would elect Herman Cain before they let anyone else run Utopia. I think the case can be made that it helped sew the seeds of Schism because Wolverine openly defied Cyclops by reforming X-Force after he disbanded them. Now he's openly defying him again while naming a school after his dead wife. I would say that's excessive, but with Wolverine you can't expect anything less.

Glad to know that I'll have more reasons to read Generation Hope for the Shaw/Emma plot, but I'm more intrigued by yet another reminder that 2012 will be the year the Phoenix Force takes center stage. Lowe is hyping it up as if it's bigger than the Mayan Doomsday prophecy and he's not the first one. My local mall is already exploiting Christmas gimmicks for a sales boost so that means the year is almost over. 2012 is almost here and all the Phoenix teasers may finally pay off. Now I'm extremely dubious as Phoenix material has been loaded with cop-outs in recent years, dating back to before Second Coming. But Marvel has never been this vocal about it. They're not being coy anymore. They're yelling that the Phoenix is coming at the top of their lungs and with the fervor of a punch in the nuts. My balls are already deflated from Schism, but I'm sure they'll be back in time for the Phoenix!

It looks as though the Phoenix Force will be that proverbial carrot on a stick that all the X-books are running towards like rabbits on crack. Marvel has grown more and more fond of using Phoenix imagery since Second Coming and I like to think that means they'll actually be doing something with it. Then again, we've been mislead before. I'll keep my ass clenched until then. For now, the post-Schism world of the X-books should tide me over along with a nice bottle of premium vodka. Nuff said!

CBR: Kieron Gillen X-POSITION - Rising To The Challenge

I admit that sometimes I have unreasonable standards for my comics. Some of it is a result of following comics longer than any pathological drunk ought to. Over the years I've heard Marvel, DC, Image, Dark Horse, and every other schmuck that can draw that their next work will be their best. As time goes on, it gets harder and harder to meet those standards. I've found that out first hand with X-men Supreme, but the standards are much higher in the flagship X-books from which X-men derives so much of it's awesome. Throughout the history of this blog, I've levied some harsh criticism towards Uncanny X-men. This series is after all the mack daddy of the X-books. It was around when I was still a partially formed sperm cell floating around in my father's scrotum. So when after nearly 50 years Marvel decides to end and reboot the damn thing, I think it's not unreasonable to expect the quality to be so awesome that it can induce multiple orgasms.

That brings me to Kieron Gillen. He took over for Matt Fraction, a writer that did more to make Uncanny relevant again than any other writer. Sure, I had my criticisms about the guy. I ran out of jokes about how he often propped up Cyclops and how his characterization was off at times. However, he told some damn good stories. He took the X-men to San Francisco and he made it awesome. For that, I rank Matt Fraction's Uncanny run right up there since it did so much to make the series great again. Kieron Gillen had the daunting task of taking what Fraction established and making it more awesome. In wake of Second Coming, Generation Hope, and Fear Itself I think I can say without being marginally drunk that he has succeeded.

Kieron Gillen has turned the weaknesses of Matt Fraction's run into strengths and created a coherent, compelling narrative that I haven't seen since Joss Whedon decided he wasn't awesome enough and went onto direct the Avengers movie rather than keep writing Astonishing (honestly, can anyone blame the guy?). Gillen's characterization, dialog, and vision have given the kind of balance to Uncanny that it hasn't had in quite some time. Now I haven't given all his books perfect scores as I've reviewed them, but he's still managed to make Uncanny X-men a consistent source of awesome. So much so that I have faith that the man can end Uncanny X-men after nearly five decades and relaunch it. Now I don't place that kind of faith in many people. Between my drug dealer and the guy who invented Jack Daniels, Gillen is in elite company in my book. So when he was slotted to do X-POSITION this week I had a couple of burning questions. To my usual elation, they were asked.

CBR: X-POSITION - Kieron Gillen


MarvelMaster616 is wondering about some other characters who weighed in and found that the scales tipped toward Cyclops:

1) I'm a bit surprised that Hope decided to stay with Cyclops' team. Can you talk about why she and most of the Lights are sticking with him?

Hope sees her mission as rescuing emerging mutants. The school simply doesn't start with the infrastructure to support what she requires. I half-suspect she'd have stayed anyway. She doesn't need training. She's been training all her life. She wants to be active in the world, saving mutants. And it's not as if her Dad was ever one to back down from action.

The rest of the team? I suspect this one may best be shown in "Generation Hope" #12. But at least some of the team are starting to have sympathies with rescuing mutants. The mind-control thing, of course, is starting to nag.

2) Speaking of Hope, I understand that Jeph Loeb's "X-Sanction" will begin later this year. Will any of the events of this story tie into the events of "Generation Hope" or "Uncanny X-Men?"

I think I'm going to have to No Comment this one.

Now the second response I fully expected, but I thought it was still worth asking. The announcement that Jeph Loeb had been tasked with bringing Cable back from the dead with X-Sanction has been treated like a case from Wikileaks. Marvel is so tight-lipped about it that I'm sure they're working with the CIA to condition everyone inside and outside of Marvel from divulging any information on it. I just hope that they went easy on installing a chip in Mr. Gillen's brain. We can only assume that Cable's presence in the 616 books again will cause the kind of damage Sarah Palin can only do to the English language when she gives a public address. Since that shit doesn't come out until December, I'm okay with waiting and biting my nails in anticipation. X-men Regenesis is more than enough.

As for my other question, it actually does clear up something that has been bothering me since the revelation about who Jea-I mean Hope (still can't get it) would side with. She made it pretty clear in Second Coming and even a few times in Generation Hope. She didn't really like or respect Cyclops. Hell, she spent most of the Uncanny X-men Annual belittling his ass to the point where I was hoping that Cyclops would slap some respect into her sorry ass. But beyond that, Cyclops's team still makes the most sense for her. She's not the kind of teenage mutant that needs to be trained. She was trained by Cable in an apocalyptic future. That's the equivalent of Navy SEAL training for mutants. Her being in a school and going to class to learn about the joys of factoring multiples just doesn't work with her. So regardless of how she gets along with Cyclops, his team would probably work best for her.

There are still some burning questions I have about Uncanny X-men, but I'm too high to list them at the moment. I'm content with leaving the relaunch in Kieron Gillen's capable hands. The man has proven himself in ways that I admit have exceeded my expectations. Seeing as how every major comic series is jumping on the relaunch bandwagon, I'm not having a freakin' heart attack over this stunt. If Kieron Gillen and Jason Aaron can make this shit work, I'm in! Nuff said.

X-POSITION: Nick Spencer - My Answered (Sort Of)

Bear with me people. I'm a little drunk and a little depressed right now. On top of that, the subject of this post is Ultimate so you know I'll be going on my share of angry rants. Recently, I did a full review of Ultimate X-men #1 because self-mutilation just wasn't cutting it. That book was so bad I was prepared to dive head first into a vat of mercury to sufficiently damage my brain to the point where I stopped giving a fuck. But of course if that shit actually worked, every fan of the Cleveland Browns would have done that years ago.

Despite my apparent lack of regard for my own health and my fetish for brain damage, I was determined to give Ultimate X-men a chance. I have not forgotten that this was once my favorite comic book for nearly a decade. I still have boxes of Ultimate X-men comics that are gathering dust because I'm too disgusted to look at them. I want to like the new books. I really do. It would do my liver so many favors. But try as I might, the series still sucks several donkey balls and a moose cock. I respect Nick Spencer and all the work he does. I think he's a great writer and I would have loved to see him on Ultimate before the anal raping that was Ultimatum, but what's done is done. As such, I decided to send him some questions for his first X-POSITION for Ultimate X-men. Despite my angry ravings on this blog, he was kind enough to answer.


CBR: X-POSITION - Nick Spencer

Now I know most answers for any X-POSITION are vague. Writers can't spill all the details or I assume Marvel sends hit-men to rough them up when they're taking a shit. But at least they give some sort of rhyme to the reason. Well the answers I got this time had about as much rhythm as Mike the Situation's rap album. Here's what was said:

The arms of MarvelMaster616 seem to be kind of tired from some old baggage he's carrying around. Is there anything you can tell him to lighten his load?

1) I was once a big Ultimate X-Men fan, but then I (and others) were turned off by "Ultimatum." It seems many have attached a "stigma" to this event and its relation to the Ultimate X-Men. Does this present a challenge for you? Do you feel the need to address this?

Personally, a great deal of the appeal in doing the book came from the status quo upheavals that took place during "Ultimatum." To me, if this were just another book with all the familiar X-trappings and the same cast we see in the Marvel Universe, I really wouldn't understand the point of it. Why would we need an "Ultimate Comics X-Men" book if it didn't stand out considerably from what was already on the shelves?

To me, "Ultimatum" opened the door for much bigger stories than what came before. I get that might upset some people if they liked what came before and they wanted more of that, or if they felt angry about the deaths of some of their favorite characters. But for me, change is exciting. Upheaval is exciting. It opens doors to new stories. Whether or not you like those new stories is entirely up to you, I guess, but I think there's something to be said for taking chances here. I think it's making the most of a line like 'Ultimate Comics.'

Okay, first off I have to call bullshit on the notion that Ultimatum was an upheaval. It fucking slaughtered half the X-men for crying out loud! That's not an upheaval. That's a comic book equivalent of a snuff film. And why the fuck is it necessary to kill characters in order to make the series stand out? Who says he had to use the same characters and themes of 616 anyways? He can do that WITHOUT FUCKING KILLING OFF HALF THE FUCKING CAST! Ultimatum didn't open any doors. It closed them by killing the characters and the stories they had left to tell. Killing characters doesn't open up new stories. It destroys them because characters ARE stories. Especially in comics. Why else would Disney pay BILLIONS to buy the rights to these characters? Why would the Kirby family be suing Marvel to get those rights back? This isn't change. This is regression. To call this change is like calling a mass murder change. It's not the kind that people care for. Especially if they actually gave half a damn about the first 100 issues that came before this shit. The sad part is I agree with Spencer in that upheaval is exciting, but you don't need to fucking kill characters to get that excitement! That's like chopping off your arm for an adrenaline rush. It's fucking stupid.

2) Many characters that died in "Ultimatum" were killed off-panel with no apparent cause. Some characters like Dazzler, Toad, and Psylocke never had a chance to develop their stories further. I know you've stated that you'll never bring back any characters, but don't you think that's kind of limiting?

Not [in] my view. To me, "dead means dead" is such a powerful selling point for this universe. It ups the stakes and makes those deaths mean something. Right now, when a character dies in most superhero books, let's be honest, the fans set a timer and start counting down to the eventual resurrection. You can't do that here, and to me, that's a big part of what makes these books special. I worry a lot about the impermanence of death in comics and how it robs us of the ability to do tragedies -- and thankfully, that's not a problem in this line.

As far as a character dying before their arc is resolved, well, that's exactly how death works. None of us know when it's gonna hit, and not everyone gets to go out in a blaze of glory or just after they've reached closure on all the important things in our lives. Sometimes it happens quickly, and sometimes it happens when we least expect it. 

Sorry, but that's also bullshit. Dead means dead doesn't add value to any character's death. It's not a selling point either. Honestly, does Spencer really believe that a book with the title "Hey! We killed Wolverine in this book! Come check it out!" will actually appeal to people? It may get their attention the same way a train wreck that kills 140 people would, but it wouldn't hold it. Most people are repulsed enough to look away after a few moments. And those resurrection stories he pans? Well, some of them are very powerful. Case and point, Blackest Night. That was the biggest comic event by DC in nearly a decade. It was a huge resurrection story and guess what? It sold like a motherfucker. So he's wrong. The fact that Ultimate can't and won't do that doesn't make it appealing. It limits the book in ways akin to cutting off it's legs, chopping off it's arms, an asking it to play charades. And the part about just shrugging off characters that were killed before their stories were told was very callous and insulting of Spencer. I hope he does realize that some people do actually like characters such as Psylocke and Dazzler. And just shrugging their deaths off is the comic creator equivalent of being a dick. I get that he's not bringing them back, but the least he could have done is be more respectful.

3) Between the hunting of mutants, all the hatred incurred by Magneto, and the revelation about mutants being man-made, doesn't that render mutants permanently "screwed" (for lack of a better word)? Where's the hope for progression?

I'm not sure what you mean here by "progression." In my experience, stories where everything just keeps getting better for the protagonists tend to be pretty boring. "Amazing Spider-Man" is probably the most successful ongoing superhero comic ever made, and really, if you lay it out by what's happened, it's really just one horrible thing after another happening to Peter Parker with very few things actually working out well for him. In the real world, the poor guy would probably be locked up in a mental hospital somewhere by now. But what we love about his story is the way he picks himself up and keeps trying to do the right thing, even in the face of what seem like insurmountable odds.

That's exactly what I think we're doing here, too, if we get it right. The question is, what will our heroes do, what can they do, in a world that's decided they are the enemy? The only way you can feel great triumph as a reader is if the stage was set with great adversity, after all. And while the relationship between man and mutant might be irreparably broken, that doesn't mean there are no opportunities for personal victories in the midst of that, either.

This one was my fault. Progression was not the right word. I shouldn't have used it. By progression I don't mean that shit gets better. By progression I mean that stories have a logical flow to them. The current X-books have that. Messiah Complex led to Messiah War which led to Second Coming which led to Schism. There's a flow to it. Ultimate had none. It was just kill everybody and pick up the pieces. I know that stories about everything getting better are boring. That's why my latest issue of X-men Supreme royally fucked up the X-men's world, but at least I did it without killing any major characters. And I'm a fucking drunk. If I'm able to do that, then there's no excuse for anyone working at Marvel. He really didn't address my concern. I get that the characters will overcome adversity, but what's the point really? There seems to be none. Personal victories are just that. Personal. They don't have any impact on the bigger picture. X-men has always been about a bigger picture story and Ultimate is essentially fucking that up while ripping off Days of Futures Past in the process.


And it wasn't just his answers to my questions that I found upsetting. For another questions, he said this: "I resolved, when I took the assignment, not to start fixing things up or diluting all the world-changing events that had come before. If anything, I decided to push things further to the brink..." That essentially contradicted his answer to my third question. It's completely asinine. You go into a book with the intention of fucking it up even more? This series is a corpse that's already been butt-fucked to the point where even the maggots devouring the flesh have given up. Sooner or later, your dick will start hitting dirt. Marvel is supposed to be the House of Ideas. How is wanting to fuck up a series that has already been fucked up for two years a good idea? How does that fit into the mold of "Anything can happen (expect resurrections)." It can't. I'm sorry, but it just fucking can't.


Again, I like Nick Spencer. His work on Morning Glories speaks for itself. I wish him well with this and every book he writes. But he's wrong here. I'm sorry, but that's the only way I can put it without resorting to more necrophiliac jokes. One month from now, Marvel will be relaunching Uncanny X-men and Wolverine and the X-men. These books will actually have the characters that Ultimate threw away. When the sales figures come out for those books, I hope everyone else on the Ultimate staff will realize that killing characters is a shitty gimmick that hurts the books long term. Now if anyone out there has a pill or a drug that helps me stop giving so many fucks about this shitty series, email me and we'll talk. But for now, this series is really fucked and Nick Spencer does not seem inclined to unfuck it. Nuff said.

CBR X-POSITION: Marjorie Liu - More of My Questions Asked

There are very few writers in comics or any form of writing for that matter that have my consistent respect. I'm not the kind of fanboy that will swallow whole any shit that a particular writer pushes. I'll praise their work one week, but I'll compare it to the entrails of a dead moose the next if that's what they earn. Thankfully, I've spared my blog many dead moose with Marjorie Liu. Ever since she took over X-23, she's proven that she can write compelling stories and compelling characters in a way that isn't just awesome for the action and the teen angst. She can actually write a story with heart. She can take someone like X-23 that is as temperamental, messed up, and utterly fucked up at times and give her heart. Even if you didn't give three tenths of a damn about X-23 before, she writes X-23 in a way that's appealing and strong. I've given high marks to nearly every one of her issues that I've reviewed and she's one of the few writers to which I'll give some leniency on the little things.

Now I know I come off as a drunken madman at times, but I do actually put thought into the reviews I write and the books I need. If I wanted to just stare at pretty pictures, I'd raid my uncle's Playboy stash. As a guy who tries to write as much as he can with what little time of sobriety he has, I value good writing and good storytelling. For the most part, that's what Marjorie Liu has consistently delivered while so many other Marvel series have relied on gimmicks and spectacles (Generation Hope, Brightest Day Aftermath, and Ultimate Marvel, I'm glaring at your sorry ass). Since Liu is a novelist by trade, she's added a unique touch to the X-23 series that is just too awesome for any imported substance from Columbia.


CBR: X-POSITION - Marjorie Liu

Seeing as how I'm almost as passionate about X-23 as I am about booze, I had a number of questions I wanted to ask Marjorie Liu. Most were relating to the ongoing X-men Schism event that has been making so many waves. Others were just simple curiosities.


Really? Maybe MarvelMaster616 can get you to loosen your lips...

1) X-23 has been off on her own for a while now. How will the events of "Schism" affect her current journey as a character?

X-23 had already made the decision to split with the X-Men so, in some ways, the events of "Schism" won't affect her journey. On the other hand, seeing the split also justifies her original logic -- and maybe sets her free in unexpected ways.

2) In some of the teasers for "X-Men Regenesis," it's been revealed that Jubilee is on Cyclops' team. X-23 developed somewhat of a friendship with Jubilee in the recent arc. Will this complicate things for the two of them moving forward?

No, I don't see why it would.

3) Sinister made an appearance in an earlier arc of "X-23." It's now been revealed that Sinister will be a significant part of Kieron Gillen's "Uncanny X-Men." Will Sinister's reemergence affect X-23?

That, I can't say. We'll see.

Okay, so there wasn't much to offer. From the looks of it, Schism won't have much of an effect on X-23. That's just fine with me. I'm perfectly content with Marjorie Liu being left to her own devices with X-23. She wields them so well and Schism is spreading enough shit throughout the X-books. That doesn't mean that every X-title should share the same stench. Based on Liu's words, one could argue that X-23 is the freest X-man at the moment. She doesn't need to take a side. She doesn't have to get involved with the whole politics of mutants. I think that's kind of liberating for her. It also ensures that the X-23 series will offer a reprieve to some of the X-men fans that are tired of seeing the Wolverine/Cyclops dick-measuring contest.

I'm more intrigued by her response about Sinister. I certainly hope that his appearance will somehow tie into X-23. The story about her, Miss Sinister, and Mr. Sinister was a major moment in X-23's journey. If he comes back, I doubt that Sinister would be able to resist fucking with her. Like R. Kelly, he just can't resist messed up teenage girls. In some ways that would help show that while X-23 is off doing her own thing, the events of the other X-books still affect her. She's still an X-man at heart even if she's not on an official roster at the moment. Now she gets to take a page right out of Wolverine's playbook and rub elbows with other Marvel heroes. She's doing it with the FF now. She's set to visit Avengers Academy in the near future. She'll get around and unlike Wolverine I can't make too many sex jokes about it.

So my hopes are high on the X-23 series. I'm still excited about the prospects for Schism, but there's only so much bad bromance breakups that I can take. X-23's story is compelling in it's own right and it doesn't require mutant politics to get in the way. So for this, I thank Marjorie Liu for crafting something special. I hope she stays on with X-23 for years to come! Nuff said.

X-POSITION: Rick Remender - My Questions Asked and a Bit of Ranting

Let's not mince words. I fucking love Uncanny X-Force. If it was a line of blow, I'd snort it up off the toilet seat of a truck stop in New Jersey after six guys came in with a bout of explosive diarrhea. It's been one of the best things Marvel has come out with since Emma Frost's bra size. So naturally when CBR has Rick Remender over for their X-POSITION column, I jump at the chance to ask questions. And by Odin's beard, they were asked and answered! Guess bathing in the blood of a bear and sacrificing ten goats was enough to appease the comic gods. It's almost worth the cleaning bill and the public indecency charge that's currently pending. Next time, I'll try to remember to keep my clothes on.

CBR: X-POSITION - Rick Remender

Lord, Buddha, and Odin all know I have many. If you read my last review, you know that Uncanny X-Force is in the middle of the Dark Angel Saga. It's Uncanny X-Force meets Age of Apocalypse. It contains a live Jean Grey, Nightcrawler, and Sabretooth. It has Fantomex Frenching Psylocke. It has Angel becoming more badass than he's ever been. You can't get much more of a high without rolling it into a joint! My questions were pretty basic, but one in particular left me hung over in ways I only get after trips to Bangkok.


Let's go next to the big picture from MarvelMaster616:

1) It was mentioned at Comic-Con that "Schism" will affect X-Force. What kind of repercussions can we expect?

Jason, Kieron and I have been in close contact to make sure that these books not only feel like a family of interconnecting stories, but to ensure our future plans respect the future plans of the other writers. The new status quo after "Schism" will add a new job on top of X-Force's already hectic schedule. Conversely, the events of the "Dark Angel Saga" will also greatly affect both of the other titles. And what we're talking about now, it could well grow into something that we can all reconnect on. There will be a lineup change in X-Force and a few other drastic changes as well.


2) I'm glad you got Jean Grey involved in the "Dark Angel Saga," as she's been absent from the X-books for so long. What is your approach to writing Jean Grey? And why do you state she was the love of Wolverine's life when he arguably has a deeper history with Mariko Yashida? And where would Melita fit in?

I guess it comes down to interpretation. I see this coming from the idea that an unrequited love is somehow more powerful than one that was fulfilled. I see Logan's first years in the X-Men, and his powerful attraction to Jean Grey, as the love that should have been. Logan and Jean did love each other, and they were obviously very attracted to each other, but there were so many things between them, so many reasons that could never happen, that they both went on with their lives and their other romances. Wolverine is an old, old man. He' s had many loves in his life. Think about writing a vampire, who's been alive for a couple hundred years. You have more than just one or two wives/long term girlfriends that he spent years in love with. Jean was the one fate conspired against and the one that haunts him.

3) I really enjoyed the scene in "Uncanny X-Force" #12 where Fantomex broke down Betsy's relationship with Warren. Can we say at this point that the seeds of doubt have been sewn in Betsy? What will the "Dark Angel Saga" do for their relationship as a whole?

I could tell you, but then there wouldn't be much reason to read the book. It's one of those questions that's impossible to give any answer to without spoiling the current storyline. Sorry.


Question's 1 and 3 were fairly satisfying. I'm glad Schism will affect what's going on in Uncanny X-Force since it seems to be fucking with every other X-books. But it's his response to the Jean/Wolverine relationship where I call bullshit. Now I've also made my feelings about this relationship clear. Hell, I did whole blog post on them. The jist of their relationship is it's unrequited. Wolverine loves Jean. Jean's attracted to him, but doesn't love him back. That creates tension, which was okay for the first few issue but it got old and boring fast. It fucked up X3 and it's fucked up their characters in pretty much every other incarnation, except for Age of Apocalypse.

Now Rick Remender's response implies that he thinks that Jean and Wolverine were more passionate than they really were. I'm sorry, but that just completely flies in the face of what's transpired over 40 years of X-men comics. Look at that underlined part. Should have been? Why the fuck should they have ever been? He seems to forget that before Wolverine came along, Jean had a pretty strong history with Cyclops. And by strong, I mean it was a central feature to the Dark Phoenix Saga (also known as the greatest fucking X-men story ever told). Not only that, Jean went with Cyclops when she came back even though Wolverine was alive and well. She stayed with him, married him, and raised a fucking kid with him in the future. That kind of shit is pretty hard to overlook. And somehow she and Wolverine share such a passionate love that it's worth saying it should have been?

Maybe I'm reading too much into his choice of words, but I also think he's not reading enough into his own shit. Wolverine and Jean stated outright that it couldn't work between them on more than one occasion. It wasn't because shit was between them. It was because the feelings were one-sided. Wolverine loved her way more than she could love him back. That's why she stayed with Cyclops. That's why they never did anything other than kiss.

He also doesn't seem to understand the very history of this relationship. It wasn't done because the two had chemistry. The only reason Chris Claremont wanted to hook Wolverine up with Jean was because he was pissed about Cyclops leaving Madelyn under Louise Simonson's X-Factor run. That's it. He preferred Jean with Wolverine simply because he wasn't Cyclops. I'm sorry, but that's a fucking stupid premise for a real relationship. I hope Rick Remender knows that because it kind of matters if he's writing this series. If he makes this relationship out to be more than it is, then it looks like he's not reading his own comics.

But I digress. Uncanny X-Force is still an awesome series and I hope Remender's skewed perspective of the Jean/Wolverine relationship doesn't skew the Dark Angel Saga. For now, it's been very nicely done. I hope it stays that way because this series is too awesome to be brought down by some bullshit misconceptions about a relationship that stopped being interesting back in 1991 and was forever tainted by X3. So Mr. Remender, if you're reading this, keep up the great work! I'm your biggest drunken fan and I shall continue to sacrifice goats and my neighbors cats to appease the comic gods in your name! Nuff said.

CBR: X-POSITION KIERON GILLEN - More Questions Asked

It's been a while since I had my questions mentioned on CBR's weekly (yet awesome) X-POSITION. It's not that I've forgotten or been too drunk (relatively speaking). There just hasn't been much for me to ask. The X-books have been quiet lately, like the lull between hangovers because they're wedged between the titanic sized super-events in Fear Itself and Schism. So you really can't do much during shit like that. It's like trying to give a lecture on fiscal responsibility while six Playboy playmates go down on each other in a vat of chocolate.

CBR: X-POSITION - Kieron Gillen

However, some notable shit has been happening in the X-books. I haven't reviewed it, but the series Children's Crusade #6 dropped a Battlefield Earth style bomb recently. It brought Wanda Maximoff back into the fold and had her re-power one of the millions of mutants she effectively neutered in House of M, namely Rictor from X-Factor. Now this series has come out about as frequently as a sober German during Ocktoberfest. It's been hard to follow, but given the impact that Wanda had on the X-books this is a pretty big fucking deal. Especially after the X-men went through all the trouble to save some bratty redhead named Hope who was supposed to fix everything. So what does this mean? Well this was the primary theme of my questions and here's what Mr. Gillen said.


MarvelMaster616 starts us off with a question that appears to be on the minds of several readers. It concerns a certain miniseries that ties together the Avengers, Young Avengers, and the X-Men in a profound way. Be warned, however, mild SPOILERS follow!

1) I recently read "Avengers: Children's Crusade" #6 and it was one of my favorite comics all year. How will these new developments with the Scarlet Witch have an impact on "Uncanny X-Men" and "Generation Hope?"

I want to say something like, "My plan is to entirely ignore what's happening in the 'Children's Crusade,'" but I suspect someone would take me seriously. M-Day's fallout is a big strand of the large-scale story of the X-books. There's clearly no way I won't be reflecting the result of the "Children's Crusade."


2) While on the subject of the Scarlet Witch, do the events of 'Children's Crusade' make Hope's presence somewhat tenuous if not unnecessary?

There's three more issues of "'Children's Crusade." I mean, seriously, don't count your mutant chickens. Rictor could explode next issue for all anyone knows.

3) It's been mentioned that "Schism" will affect not just the teams, but some of the relationships within the X-Men as well. I know you probably can't get into specifics, but could you hint about how these relationships might be affected?

I can hint, but it's not exactly much of a useful hint. How are they affected? Generally badly. Actually, thinking about it -- there's a couple of exceptions to that.


4) And how will "Schism" affect Cyclops's status and competence as a leader?

That the schism is between Wolverine and Cyclops is known. You can safely say that Logan and, by implication, Logan's followers have problems with Scott's choices in "Schism." So you could say it affects it negatively, at least for some people, for the length of "Schism." Of course, as I've already said, we haven't said for sure that Scott's even going to be around afterwards. We haven't said if anyone's around afterwards. I could hypothetically create scenarios which leave Scott's status and general competence as high as they are now after the schism, even ,em>with the events of the "Schism."

It's hypothetical here. I wouldn't want to talk about this stuff until we're heading towards "Regenesis," as it kind of spoils the fun.

So he didn't reveal much. That's to be expected. Kieron Gillen plays everything really close to the chest. He's not Matt Fraction. He won't turn an X-POSITION column into a re-run with Married With Children (although that would be pretty awesome). He can't really say much because of the timing of this column. That may or may not be CBR's fault or whoever thought it was a great idea to schedule this shit in between two big ass events. But at least he limits the bullshit, which is the most you can ask of a Marvel writer.

So the story about Wanda's return isn't clear. She may or may not be inclined to undo the shit she did with M-Day. Hell, if someone at Marvel gets lazy they could just have her go crazy again. Even if she doesn't, it's doubtful that it's as simple as Wanda saying "That thing about no more mutants...fuck it." So there's still a story there and once the shit storm stops smelling from Fear Itself and Schism, Kieron Gillen may be in a position to do something with it.

What he said about relationships was a bit overly coy. I asked that question because message boards fanboys have been soaking their panties about the prospect of Cyclops and Emma Frost either breaking up or getting married. The main reason for this sentiment is Uncanny X-men #540, which I intend to review later this week. But I personally don't think much will come of that. Not because Marvel can't do it. I just don't think they will. Before Gillen even took over, Cyclops and Emma were established as that sacred cow that no writer dare touch less they be locked in a room gay grizzly and a bucket of meth. Every story that has ever had potential conflict with their relationship has ended the same. They kiss, make up, fuck, and go back to the way everything was. With shit like Schism and Fear Itself going on, I doubt there's enough ink. I was hoping for some clarity, but again Gillen plays it close to the chest. It is kind of obvious where it's going though. Anybody who thinks Cyclops and Emma will break up is more fucked up than I am on 4/20.

I'm much more intrigued by the prospect of Cyclops getting humbled by Schism. Ever since Messiah Complex, he's been the large-and-in-charge boss, the godfather of the mutant race. Nobody has really opposed his leadership. Hell, even Magneto respects the guy now and he used attempt to kill him every other Thursday. With that sort of power comes a certain level of douche-baggery. There's no doubt that Cyclops has become a bit arrogant in his new position. Who wouldn't be? He's leader of all mutant kind and he gets to hump Emma Frost. It's time the man get humbled. It's time the mutant race take a different direction and Schism looks to be the perfect way of reshuffling the deck. For that, I wait with bated breath and a semi-hard dick. Kieron Gillen and his prison bitch, Jason Aaron, are in a hell of a position and I can't wait to see what comes of it! Nuff said.

CBR X-POSITION: Marjorie Liu - My Questions Asked for One of My Favorite Comics

Another week and it's yet another reason for me to dance naked with joy. Usually I don't need much reason. A bottle of whiskey and a Blu-Ray copy of the Hangover is usually enough to get me more worked up than Anthony Wiener at a co-ed frat party. Today, CBR had their weekly X-POSITION column and that's usually a great prelude to new comic day. Sort of like being flashed by a stripper before going to the VIP room. This week it was Marjorie Liu.

 CBR: X-POSITION - Marjorie Liu

Now I've made no secret of my love for her work. My past two reviews of X-23 have been laced with the kind of praise I only reserve for the truly awesome. I wouldn't be that generous if it wasn't earned. The story of X-23 has been so amazingly compelling. The story of a teenage girl/mutant killing machine sounds like something you would only see in a Quintin Tarantino movie. But X-23 is more than an idea a semi-sober college student would conjure. It has action, depth, and above all heart. Not too many characters get that kind of treatment. Majorie Liu has done an amazing job and me being the curious drunk I am, I have a lot of questions. And CBR was kind enough to ask two of them.


MarvelMaster616 had a couple of questions that cut to the quick:

Marjorie, you're doing an amazing job at making "X-23" one of my favorite books. For this, I thank you. Keep up the excellent work, and here's my questions:

1) Wolverine seems to have his hands full with both Jubilee and Laura, but Laura seems to be doing a lot worse than Jubilee. Can you talk about how he's planning to help her?

That's a good question, though I don't know if I have a great answer. Wolverine isn't going to stage an intervention, but in this case he doesn't really need to.  Just being there -- showing X-23 through his presence that he does care -- will go a long way.  I think, too, that Wolverine might also feel that Gambit has taken over his role as father-figure and mentor.


2) In recent issues, you dealt with a pretty serious theme -- self-mutilation. Why is X-23 resorting to this? How did her battle against Daken in  "Collision" lead her to such a state?

She killed the innocent victims of Colcord's experiments -- and some of those victims were children.  She was able to put that aside during "Collision," but the memories are still with her...and so is the guilt.  Not just guilt for those deaths, but all the people she's killed over the years.  Guilt, like any powerful emotion, is difficult for X-23 to deal with, and pain is a safe response for her when she feels too much.


She was thorough in her answers. More thorough than Swedish masseuse trying to pay off her gambling debt by giving happy endings with her feet. It's more than usual and it pointed out something I didn't pick up on in my reviews. X-23 was messed up not just from her confrontation with Daken. But having to kill those test subjects of his (some of whom were surely kids just as unfortunate as her) messed her up. Unlike Daken, she does feel guilt when she's forced to kill someone who doesn't deserve it. Having been in that position before, it does mess her up and self-mutilation is a pretty extreme way to deal with it. Then again, X-23 is from an extreme world.

The idea of Gambit taking the role Wolverine was once inclined to fill is also intriguing. Gambit is also damaged goods in a lot of ways. He's in a somewhat better position to relate to X-23 because let's face it, Wolverine is about as stable as Larry King's last marriage. Plus, X-23's comic started during the whole Hellverine story. Now that's not to say Gambit is any better. This is a guy who willingly allowed Apocalypse to fuck him up. But compared to Wolverine, he's an amateur and he has a way with teenage girls (that goes beyond simply sleeping with them). Even if he's there during the current arc, he hasn't been there for X-23 as much as he probably should have been. He was there for Jubilee. He probably has to go a lot further with X-23 because Jubilee isn't the one cutting herself. That's something that hasn't been resolved in the current arc, but Marjorie Liu has me more excited about it than a fly around a pile of cow shit.

So now I have all the more reason to follow X-23. The current arc is heavy on drama and bloodlust. It's like the Lifetime channel meets Fight Club. There's so much going on and Marjorie Liu has worked it masterfully. I'll be sure to post another thorough review when the next issue comes out. I might even do the review sober, but I can't make any promises. Nuff said!

X-POSITION: Kieron Gillen - My Questions Asked (And Danced Around)

Well this past week was Kieron Gillen's turn with X-POSITION and you know what that means! No, I'm not going to get drunk and do another Ultimate X rant. I'm just about halfway out of those. This rant is going to be a good old 616 rant! Once again the fine people at CBR asked a few of my questions. They did this even though one of my question was somewhat of a repeat (although it wasn't meant to be). Can you guess which question it was? I'll give you a hint. It has red hair, green eyes, and the Phoenix Force. If your response was "Jean Grey is dead." Congratulations, you're either Nick Lowe or a total douche.

X-POSITION: Kieron Gillen

Yes, I know I ask a lot about the whole Hope/Jean issue. It's been a major sticking point for me ever since I found out that it was a total farce on the same level as Tom Cruise's sexuality or Donald Trump's pre-nup. I think it's an important question to ask. Hope Summers (aka Jean Ripoff) is supposedly a character to keep an eye on. That's all well and good, but for the love of Thor's hammer does she have to be a blatant leech on Jean Grey? If Marvel really wants her imagery and her selling power (and she does sell if you look at the sales of Phoenix Endsong) then why don't they just bring her the fuck back? Steve Rogers came back after only two years and he didn't have the Phoenix Force! But I digress. I've been on that rant before and my doctor says I risk a cerebral hemorrhage if I do it again. Here's what was said.

MarvelMaster616 wants to dig deeper into the subject of this "Jean Grey" person. What's her deal again?

1) It's pretty difficult to ignore Hope's similarities to Jean Grey, especially now that she has the Phoenix Force as was so eloquently reinforced in "Generation Hope" #5. So how do you make Hope appeal on her own merits when so much about her (whether intentionally or not) sparks connotations with Jean Grey?
 
Give me six issues and ask me again. On the painful side, there's something I'm really looking forward to writing in issue #11 of "Generation Hope" which breaks my heart even thinking about it. On the her-father-daughter's side, I'm actively proud of her in 'Uncanny' #539. My '90s-kid one-line description of "Generation Hope" has always been "'The Authority' Meets 'My So-Called Life.'" Following the latter part of that side through, Hope's very much our red-headed Angela. She's certainly not perfect, but I think she's interestingly imperfect. Or at least I hope.

By the way -- and apologies if I've got usernames confused -- last time I believe you asked me on a similar topic. I answered involving their personalities -- which I do think are different in a mass of profound ways. However, I think that the connotations of Jean are absolutely there, and the characters who know act with that in mind. To state the obvious from issue #5: Emma wouldn't stumble in conversation with most of her students.

2) How much longer is Kitty Pryde going to be stuck in that space suit? As you've written Lockheed before, will we get to see the reunion between the two in "Uncanny X-Men?"

Kitty gets out of the space suit all the time! Normally when it gets smashed off her. Joking aside, the whole Kitty intangibility situation is right at the heart of "Breaking Point."

Alas, I won't be writing the Lockheed/Kitty reunion. I actually did write a load of dialogue for the scene before realizing that there really wasn't room for it in "Breaking Point." I believe the first proper crossing of the paths will be over in Mr. Gage's "Astonishing X-Men."

3) Emma and Cyclops had a big moment in "The Confession" where they conceded that keeping secrets was bad. In "Quarantine," Emma basically fell back into old habits by keeping secrets about Shaw from both Cyclops and Namor. I assume this will come back to haunt her. Will Cyclops (or Namor, for that matter) be nearly as understanding this time?

Good question. But, yes, Emma hasn't been particularly good in keeping her end of the "Confession" conversation up.

His responses were a mixed bag for the most part. For one, I'm glad he'll be addressing the whole Kitty in a spacesuit issue. I love Kitty Pryde. I love her too much to see her stuck in some goofy ass space suit. Wearing a fish bowl for a head is Mysterio's deal. Besides, Colossus hasn't had any of that sweet Shadowcat loving since Joss Whedon's run on Astonishing. A good X-man like Colossus deserves a little poon and a good X-woman like Shadowcat deserves a muscle-bound stud to toss her salad.


The Emma question might as well have been ignored. This is something that's bothered me throughout the Matt Fraction run and something I hoped that Kieron Gillen would address. Matt Fraction went out of his way to make Cyclops and Emma look like a 50s sitcom with breast implants. It's the complete antithesis of the relationship that Grant Morrison and Joss Whedon developed. It's become so annoying, having all the problems that people used to piss and moan about with Cyclops and Jean Grey minus the depth.


It was a big fucking deal when they started keeping secrets and Cyclops started sleeping on the couch. It ended up in a painfully bland moment where they just forgave and forgot the whole thing. Nothing happened with it and their relationship was basically the same as it was beforehand. Then recently, Emma went back on her promise. Cyclops did his part. He disbanded X-Force. Emma didn't. She lied about Shaw to Cyclops AND Namor. So is nothing going to come of that? Is this going to finally do something to this relationship that no writer has bothered to touch since Joss Whedon left? Kieron Gillen was silent. He basically restated my question and that was it.


As for the Jean question, I'm getting mixed messages. He did recognize me, so that shows he's come to expect my ranting every now and then. However, his remark about the connotations between Jean and Hope have me scratching my head. If she's supposed to be her own person as he stated on multiple occasions, then how can she always have this connotation that both the readers and the X-men are aware of. It's like drinking from a punch bowl when there's clearly a giant shit log floating around at the top. It's clearly there, but people keep drinking from the bowl. So I'm left with one big WTF. 

Nick Lowe says Hope isn't Jean and Jean is dead. Kieron Gillen says the connotations are there and it's happening on panel. Emma Frost seems as uncertain about it as me. So what are we to make of this? Is this connotation just a gimmick? Is it just a way to use Jean's imagery to bolster Hope? If so, it's a pretty dishonest way to do it. It's like making a painting that looks a lot like the Mona Lisa, but changing just a few minor details and calling it an original.


I'll say it again. If Marvel wants to tap Jean Grey's imagery and selling power they should just bring her the fuck back! It would make it a lot easier to develop a character like Hope, making her more like X-23 is to Wolverine rather than some blatant ripoff trying to replace the void left by Jean Grey. I like Kieron Gillen. His writing has been a great addition to the X-books, but some of these concepts that he inherited are still deeply flawed. He has a chance to unflaw them. It remains to be seen if he or someone else on the X-staff will do so.